Rest in peace Felicia. My miracle, given everything

19.10.2017. Even if you know you had to let her go one day, you can never prepare yourself for how it feels. My worst nightmare had to become reality. After I uploaded my last video, felicia had a colic attack again.The vet returned, given painkillers again, wondering how she would come through the night. This time I had faith in it, this time i thought stay positive, for her. But this time just this time everything i was always afraid of, has happened. Everything was wrong, she did not want to drink or eat anymore. She had so much pain. The vet said the only thing we could do for her is to release her from this pain. My heart broke into pieces, I saw it happening but I did not want to believe it. I was still hoping for the best, but the best thing in this situation was to let her go. She sleeped away so peacefull free from pain, in my arms. It was heartbreaking and i still cant explain what i had to go through but somehow, I knew it had to happen. Regardless of how much pain it does to me and how much I love her. I would rather enure this endless pain than to never have seen or never have known her. Because she gave me so much. The fact that she is no longer here will always cause me pain, but I never would have missed it, I never would have erased what we had together. because she made me to the person I am today. I'll forever be grateful for that. It does change my life forever and its not something I can 'get over'. The loss will become part of who I am but so will she. She will always stay with me in my heart. My miracle, given everything, you will always stay with me wherever you are.
I want to thankyou all for the endless support we have had, when she had to be operated, the recovery, when she had once again colic attacks, but also the beautiful times, you have believed in us till the last day. Thanks for everything

[@hkm5790]

OHH MY GOD.... THIS ISN'T TRUE... I AM LITERALLY CRYING....SHE WAS SUCH A STRONG MARE..... I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY.. THIS BREAKS MY HEART.. Sleep well felicia.. you deserve it. Stay strong!!she will always be in your heart❣

[@Deeem100]

I will stay strong for her, she will always stay with me ♥

[@lightning07-11]

I lost my paint mare that I rescued and nurses back to health that I picked out Feb 15, 2017

[@romanyrivertolstoy7322]

oh my goodness... I'm so, so sorry that you've had to go through this. I can't even put what I'm feeling right now into words, I was in the exact same situation a few months ago and I know how utterly crushing and heartbreaking and painful it is, there are no words that can describe it. I wish I could do something to help and comfort you but I know that in this kind of situation there is nothing that's of any use. I honestly don't know what to say, you've given her an amazing life and you fought so hard to help her but it seems it was just her time to go, no matter how heart breaking it is for you, you know that you've done the right thing

[@Deeem100]

romanyrivertolstoy I read your comment with tears in my eyes, all these sweet words it means a lot to me. Thankyou..💔

[@malinottenback9846]

This is so sad, you were perfect for each other.. I'm so so sorry.. ❤

[@Deeem100]

Thankyou 💔

[@joeh1963]

The feeling of losing a horse is life ending. It's losing a friend, a family member, a piece of yourself. I would know for I have had to deal with this unbearable pain. The important thing is though that you have lost someone, you must stay strong for not only yourself but for him/her. You must remember that you will be in his/her heart no matter what and he/she will always be in yours. You are brave. You are strong. You can fight for him/her. You did the right thing!

[@kirsten_and_hugo2847]

All horse owners will have to go through this RIP

[@lexivandermerwe7001]

Yes

[@lexivandermerwe7001]

Its hard

[@maxinevanrooyen4418]

IM CRYIN G😭😭😭😢 SHE WAS SUCH A WONDERFULL HORSE😭 REST IN PEACE SWEETHEART ♥️😭😢

[@171Hunterjumper]

Mijn hart gaat uit naar jou

[@Deeem100]

Super lief, dat zal ze zeker altijd blijven..

[@katepretorius7630]

I just lost my horse and I watched this non crying even harder it's really hard to get over this but I know eventually you will one day and I know eventually I will and people it's hard to give up but when you give up on hope you give up on life said don't give up hope and just remember she's happy and that's would everyone said to me and I can't do that right now and it's very hard

[@horse_lonely_girl3399]

She will always be in your heart she is an amazing horse

[@Deeem100]

Horse_Lonely_Girl Thankyou. She will always be in my ❤️ with me

[@Trinity_Rocky24]

It's always our loved one, the ones that we care the most for. I lost my horse and just a few months ago i lost my cat. Im trying to stay stronge and think that he is ok. I am so sorry for your loss. I know that feeling.

[@angelbonnett3978]

I watched this thinking of my cat max who hasn't came back lately

[@angelbonnett3978]

And my mare who will be 14-15 this year

[@eiry25]

So beautiful, huge huge hugs. You gave her a lovely life and I'm sure she knew how much she was loved. Rest in peace Felicia xx

[@Deeem100]

Thankyou so much..

[@hannedecuijper9863]

I know this is a long time ago but I know It will still be a soft spot. But I lost my 1st horse Orlando just the best gelding you could ever wish for. Also by a colic attack it was one of the agressive kinds. We did everything to do to save him but it was to late we where there to late. We could do an Operation but we knew he wouldn't make it out alive. He was already old (29) but still had a raging fire inside of him. we jumped 90, galloped true the forest, did little tricks together and at the end I din't want to say goodbye but he made me change my mind. He layed down by my feed and nuzzled his head on my feet and just 1 look, 1 touch made me say "It's really time isn't it?" I let him go on the 21st of October 2020 at 11:47 am. I'm still heartbroken t'ill this day but I have now trown myself on my new horse Batuta who I saved from her abusive place. She was skinny, not trained properly, traumatized, scared. But behind that those scared eyes I saw a sweet, curious mare who wanted to learn and trust people again. She is here with me for only 1 month now but she has made alot of progress she's gaining weight, trusting me, less scared of her halter... and the best of all she knows she can act like a horse here! :)

[@galloping_horsestv9207]

I'm so sorry😭Felicia is the best horse for ever!💕Felicia is so beautiful💕I miss she so much like you😢😢😢

[@Deeem100]

Galloping_horses TV 😔❤️ She is irreplaceable

[@emma-lu9ww]

I lost my soulmate 3 years ago.Soon he’ll be under my skin forever.I know this pain and I’m really sorry for your lose.There are no words to describe the pain I felt seeing him die.I don’t believe in heaven or anything like that you know...but I believe that he grew up with me because I needed him and he needed me.The day I lost him I lost a part of me too but no matter what happens ever I do everything for him.I can feel that he’s still by me side just in a different way than before.Years ago I lived with him...now I live for him.He deserves anything better and that’s what I believe,I believe that if there’s anything over us than he’s there.All of our animals are there because they all deserve it.I can’t tell how thankful I’m to knew him. I love you❤️

[@Deeem100]

Its. emmix Thankyou for your beautiful words dear❤️ You the words out of my mouth. Its just so unfair..

[@emilyslifexox5310]

This made me cry so much there will always be a whole in your heart for that 1 special felicia

[@Funkelchen97]

This breaks my heart and makes me cry.. I feel with you. I lost my soul horse a week ago..

[@michellechapman6036]

I am so unbelievably sorry for your loss ❤️🐴

[@Deeem100]

Thankyou..

[@ShakknpallhlakakjgzhabJ]

I can't stop my self from crying

[@majakolenc1087]

this is so heartbreaking, i'm watching and reading it with tears in my eyes. i loved you two so much and i always will, you are an inspiration. i know you feel awful and everything sucks right now, but you did your best and i know she loved you so so much and she will be with you forever❤

[@Deeem100]

Reading this all with tears in my eyes, thankyou..

[@wendyklunder9431]

ohh no.. wat heftig, heel veel sterkte! heb altijd met zo veel plezier en naar je video's gekeken het gevoel wat je erin legt.. prachtig

[@Deeem100]

Dankjewel..

[@gamer_wolfgirl3875]

she was a good horse and she will always be with you 😥🥺

[@evelynnlaventure1610]

She seemed like a good willing loving horse. I have a pony just like that. Willing to do anything I tell her too. I take her for granted sometimes and see stuff like this that makes me appreciate my horse a heck of a lot more. I'm sorry for your loss♥️❤️❤️❤️♥️

[@Deeem100]

She was. My once in a lifetime horse❤️

[@hesteyrihorses1958]

So sorry for your loss, this video was beautiful and devastating. Thoughts are with you, what a beautiful mare.

[@Deeem100]

Thankyou..

[@Kristyx-dh3sn]

Lots of love for you. Such an emotional and beutiful video 💚.

[@mattfisher8330]

I am so so so so so so so so so sorry about that ❤💜❤💜❤💜❤💜❤💜❤💜❤💜❤💜❤💜

[@annaanderssonkm8149]

Omg so beatuful!!🥺🥺❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@ponysrule4life]

I'm so sorry for your loss, cherish all the good times. She looked like she had an amazing life with you!

[@Deeem100]

I will cherish all the good times, thankyou so..

[@Cavalinodemoi]

I'm so sorry .... :(

[@xHeartHorsesx]

So sorry to hear this. You two were a great pair and you gave her the best life.

[@Deeem100]

Means a lot thankyou so..

[@lucywilliamsxo4235]

She’s galloping over that rainbow bridge and it’s okay she’s okay she will always be okay!! Stay strong rip Felicia 🌈💖

[@Deeem100]

Lucylily xo Thankyou💔

[@lucywilliamsxo4235]

Please sc me gorgeous!! lucylollipops16 or if me @lucyy.williamss and honestly let’s just have a heart to heart!! Feel free gorg I’m always here!! Xxxx

[@Athex3]

Stay strong...💛 rest in peace Felicia

[@Deeem100]

Thankyou..

[@Secretariat69]

This made me cry. Rest in peace Felicia ♥

[@lostinthemist5776]

I am so so sorry:( She was such an incredible horse and your partnership and love with her will live on in her memory

[@Deeem100]

She sure was, she is in my heart now..

[@EmilyEquestrian21]

This... I'm just shocked. Words cannot convey how sorry I am, or how much I didn't anticipate this. To lose a horse like her, after the journey and time you have spent together, is absolutely tragic. I will so miss you and Felicia on KZbin, for a long time I could relate to you both through my own horse's injuries and illnesses. Goodnight Felicia, and thank you for everything. I hope you're okay.

[@Deeem100]

That's for sure, i still cant believe it and its so difficult for me to be without her. But reading all these sweet comments is doing me well. Thankyou..

[@islacherryforest3804]

You will be together again riding on the clouds of heaven xx Stay Strong xx

[@MarteRasmussen]

Oh no!! I'm crying, it's so sad!! You two were perfect, I'm so so sorry

[@laetiboursier19]

I had to leave my horse not long ago and I was never the same because honestly if he had died I would be devastated but the fact that he's still out there makes me cry even more because I know he's still there and I just can't be there with him. You know?😔

[@naequestrian33]

My heart dropped so much when I saw this video in my feed...I am so so sorry for your loss. She was a beautiful and amazing horse, and it was clear you had such a special partnership. Rest in peace ❤

[@Deeem100]

So sweet, tears in my eyes. Thankyou..

[@ddpanimationscentral1890]

:'(. RIP beauty. F to pay respect.

[@xILoveYouSarahx]

This is so heartbreaking, I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. I can't believe this... Stay strong.

[@Deeem100]

Thankyou..

[@elinorlimbaugh2318]

I’m so sorry, I’m not ready for my boy to go

[@peytontrahey9630]

No my baby boy is 37 and I’m not ready for that call or that text while I’m on school or when I’m out cause idc I will brewkdown

[@angelbonnett3978]

So would i even though she is 14-15

[@diiione]

Aah prachtig filmpje.. Ik vind het zo erg voor je, in al je video’s zag je gewoon hoeveel jullie van elkaar genieten. Felicia heeft zo veel geluk gehad met alle liefde die ze van jou heeft gekregen ❤️ Stay strong!

[@Deeem100]

Dankjewel Dione, superlief..

[@GreyWonderx]

oh my god im so sad right now...you guys were perfect together...im so sorry, stay strong ♥

[@Deeem100]

Thankyou it really means a lot..

[@Jinnyxsarai]

Ah neee!!!! Ik vond jullie zo ontzettend leuk samen! Altijd plezier om je video's te kijken. Heel erg veel sterkte met dit verlies!

[@Deeem100]

Dankjewel..

[@emotionalequestrian23]

Omg, I'm so so sorry! I just lost my horse a few weeks ago! I know what you are going through! If you ever need to talk im always here for you!

[@animalloverforever6559]

What I hate about being a pet owner is when they die. It’s the worst feeling

[@manonmoiroux9559]

you make me cry... I can't imagine how much it hurts...stay strong...

[@Deeem100]

Black Jack du Frêne I do, for her❤️

[@FancyBug123]

I am so so sorry :( may she rest in peace

[@ponielover1239]

I literally just watched the 10 years video and I don’t know what to say ,, sleep tight Felicia 😢

[@lovedonna3074]

I’m so sorry.. you are a great team! I wish you all the strength

[@Deeem100]

Thankyou Kelly..

[@Madsta560]

i am so sorry.. my heart aches for you, know that she went knowing she was loved and had the best time a horse could have here, run free felicia💓

[@Deeem100]

I try to hold on to that, we have tried everything we can, now she is free from all pain..

[@seagrapetours436]

I will cry bc i love horses :( Im so super sorry-

[@LoveToNoranx]

Literally broke my heart..

[@missdaphhh]

De tranen staan in mn ogen deem, zo mooi gemaakt en ik had jullie dit echt niet gegund.. Ik weet in ieder geval zeker dat ze jou harstikke dankbaar is voor alle liefde die je haar hebt gegeven! ♥

[@Deeem100]

Super lief van je Daphne, dankjewel..

[@EquiNado]

Jeetje wat verschrikkelijk.. Super veel sterkte meid, je hebt fantastisch mooie herinneringen met haar gemaakt.

[@Deeem100]

Dat hebben we zeker, veel moois om naar terug te kijken! Dankjewel..

[@lilmissdanny1]

I’m so sorry to hear this!

[@TheNativeHorses]

Wait how did I miss this?! I really thought she would make it through. I am so so sorry for your loss I have been watching you two since I started KZbin and you two always inspired me. Every video you upload I can see the love and passion you had for Felicia and it was clear she loved you back just as much. I really can’t believe this has happened and it is absolutely heart breaking 💔 again, I am so sorry 😫

[@xDreamingInColourx]

I am so heartbroken for you, Rest In Peace 😞

[@cateciri]

oh my god this made me cry... I'm so so sorry 😔 you two were and will always be one of my favourite pairs ❤️

[@Deeem100]

❤️😢

[@MonaProductionz]

I´m so sorry :-( You two were so special ♥

[@Deeem100]

Means the world❤️

[@kicfbm]

I feel so sorry for you! You two were a great team. I'm sure she loved you just as much as you loved her. xx

[@Deeem100]

Thankyou Minna, You and bamse have always been an inspiration for us. Now they are together..

[@xJokeNathanWega]

Oh god... Enorm veel sterkte! Het is zó moeilijk en zeker om op zo'n manier afscheid te moeten geven. X

[@Deeem100]

Dankjewel..

[@FatBlackHorse]

Oh my god :( I cannot tell you how much my heart just dropped seeing this video. My heart is absolutely broken for you. You and two were one of my all time favourite pairs on KZbin. That little mare loved you so much, just as you loved her. She was such an incredibly special horse, she was truly one of a kind and watching your journey together has been an absolute privilege. Your love was so pure and precious, you’ve both come so far in your time together. God I’m just so sorry, I know there’s no words I can say right now to help with the pain but oh how I wish there was. Thank you for sharing your journey with us, thank you for letting us see love at it absolute purest form. My heart is with you right now, I’m so sorry

[@Deeem100]

BelvedereRose Thankyou so.. it really gives me strength to read all of this💔

[@life_on_the_right_leadhors3975]

Im so sorry she is so cute. I cry when i see it.

[@us-gr6os]

All good things, just must come to an end.. ❤️❤️

[@marthaxxalexi]

Ik heb na zoveel dagen nog steeds niet de woorden gevonden om hier op te reageren, écht hartverscheurend vind ik dit.. Echt zo erg, als ik zie wat jij en Felicia allemaal doorgemaakt hebben, en hoelang jullie al samen waren.. Jullie waren écht een inspiratie voor iedereen en zeker voor mij!! May she rest in paradise & Demi heel heel veel knuffels voor jou, stay strong, heel heel veel sterkte en hoe moeilijk en gek het ook gaat zijn, ik hoop je wel nog terug te zien hier... ♥

[@Deeem100]

Zo lief Martha doet me echt goed om dit te lezen.. wie weet kan ik ooit weer filmpjes uploaden maar voor nu is het nog even te moeilijk..

[@salernodaisy9476]

ohmygod wat erg.. ontzettend veel sterkte ♥

[@Deeem100]

Dankjewel..

[@mariesummerrock2637]

i cried.. stay strong beauty :(

[@vwyldrose1153]

It's so hard to lose one. It really is losing a friend. I lost a stallion to colic, broke my heart. There was nothing the vet could do to save him.

[@freedomhorse49]

I literally cried with you the whole video. It's so insane that things like this happen just like that. It's disgusting. I truly am with you, this must be an incredible pain in your heart, that's only good because that proved that what you guys had was real, and pure. Stay strong sweetheart, you're not alone in this. ♥️

[@Deeem100]

FreedomHorse It is still cant find the right words to tell how i felt after all of this. I will always miss her but I try to hold on to the beautiful memories💔 Thankyou..

[@marinafernandes985]

I'm in tears. When I saw your last video I was hoping so much she'd be okay. I don't always comment, but you were one of my favourite pairs to watch here on KZbin, and I can't even begin to understand how hard it must've been for you. I'm so sorry

[@Deeem100]

Marina Fernandes 😢 Thankyou Marina..

[@lexivandermerwe7001]

I also lost my horse and tears wil not bring my horse back

[@JolijnAila12]

oh jeetje wat een ongelofelijk verdrietig nieuws :( Dit had ik echt niet zien aankomen.. Ik heb je video's altijd prachtig gevonden, maar vooral deze raakte me echt. Jullie waren echt een geweldig team samen. Heel veel sterkte gewenst! ❤

[@Deeem100]

Super lief betekend veel voor me, dankjewel..

[@sabethspr]

Echt kippenvel... ik vind het zó erg. Echt verschrikkelijk, nogmaals heel veel sterkte ♥ Rust zacht, Felicia.

[@Deeem100]

sabethxshagall Dankjewel Sabeth..

[@XeemxLou]

Ik vind het echt zó ontzettend erg voor je.. Ik weet natuurlijk hoe het is, en dit wens je niemand toe.. :( Weet ook niet zo goed wat ik moet zeggen, blijf je vast houden aan de mooie tijden die jullie samen gehad hebben en weet dat dit zo beter voor haar is dan de pijn, hoe vreselijk erg het ook is.. heel veel sterkte ♥♥♥

[@Deeem100]

XeemxLou Zal me zeker aan de mooie tijden vasthouden, dankjewel Isa..

[@Hope050101]

Wow. I look on my phone and see it, KZbin 'rest in peace Felicia'.. My head 'oh fuck no.'.. I see this video.. I am so so so so sorry for you. I have tears in my eyes. I can't believe it, you and Felicia.. An amazing team. Rest in peace. Sorry for my bad English 🙄

[@Deeem100]

xowly magicx Thankyou it means a lot..

[@deniseshephard6947]

Im so sorry for your loss

[@Deeem100]

Denise Shephard ❤️

[@ruespeth2308]

I started crying the first 30 seconds stay strong 💔

[@Deeem100]

Strykerismyhorse ❤️

[@tobiaskoppl2611]

OMG NO😩Rest in Peace Felicia ❤️Have a good Time 😰☠️FELICIA❤️

[@kody_yt5863]

Im so sorry you had to go through this I know it is hard but you'll get through it stay strong I'm here for you♥️R.I.P Felicia she will always be in you heart 💓

[@xsuzzow]

Heel veel sterkte ! ❤️

[@Deeem100]

Dankjewel..

[@HannaMattis]

Oh no :( im so Sorry for your loss, you two were amazing togheter

[@Deeem100]

I will remember that, thankyou..

[@josephinevanstaveren7619]

Prachtig demi, kippenvel! Jullie waren geweldig samen ❤😍

[@Deeem100]

josephinnora Dankjewel💔!

[@loneoakgrls]

I never saw this and just went to stalk your videos for some editing inspiration and saw this and I feel like my heart just dropped into my stomach. I'm in disbelief. I feel so sick, I'm so fucking sorry. My heart's shattered for you. She was a one of a kind mare and she deserved more time

[@Deeem100]

loneoakgrls I also thought we had more time, and she deserved it too. but after her heavy operation, a horse would actually only have a halfyear. and felicia has kept it up for almost 2 years, so it is already a miracle that she could stay with me for so long.. now she is in my heart💔

[@Nellekeluf]

Echt vreselijk heel veel sterkte :(

[@Deeem100]

Dankjewel Marieke..

[@esia1865]

I’m so srry😭😭

[@laciesmith7202]

I love horses more than my life if one of my horses died I wouldn't eat in a week!🐴😪😥😓

[@Mellepunter]

I don't have words for this one. It is just so horrible that she is gone :( You two have always inspire me, and will still do. Felicia was really a miracle, and I think you gave her the perfect horse life. She always looked so happy with you. Also it so inspiring how you two change together and fight through all this for each other. As I said it is just so horrible, and I think we all are going to miss you two together. It must be a hard time for you. Losing your best friend is really not easy. Stay strong, and I will always bee here if you need to talk about it

[@Deeem100]

My words are also still gone, this really means a lot to me. reading it all with tears in my eyes. it is still very difficult and it feels so unreal to be without her..

[@DarkChianti]

this broke my heart

[@avamurphy2323]

I know how you feel I lost my pony fudge not too long ago but remember Felicia will always be with you ❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@Deeem100]

Aw so sorry for you.. Yes i know she is..

[@BrandysDreamer]

Oh my god I am so sorry 😭❤️

[@DreamteaminHorsemanship]

Deem nog steeds super veel sterkte!!! Ik hoop dat je nooit zal stoppen met KZbin want je bent geweldig!

[@Deeem100]

Ah zo lief, dankjewel!

[@lottejanssens7776]

Zoveel sterkte!!!❤️❤️❤️

[@Deeem100]

Schleichxhorsy Dankjewel..

[@vanha2810]

Oh god.. i know excatly how you feel. I lost my very best friend at summer. But remember, you can do it without her, even if it feels impossible ❤

[@Deeem100]

So sorry for you, then you must know how i feel.. it does feel impossible now.. it is so different without her.

[@renn9749]

I know how u feel cause I had the same situation but with my cat. And the worst feeling was when he was in pain. Find peace in your life. Send love😖 Felicia will always be with u, here💗

[@Deeem100]

Aw hope you are okay, that is certainly the worst feeling. That you can't do anything about it anymore, even if you want it so badly.. I know she will always be with me..

[@_soso.k4362]

Condolences

[@WhiteFutureDream]

Oh no, I feel so sorry for you! When I read the title I was so shocked. Maybe you remember me, my horse slept away just one month ago and he was my personal miracle...Be happy and proud about all the incredible moments you had with Felicia. Now she's in heaven and watches over you. Because I go through the same horrible time as you I can tell you that this horses give so much power to oneself even if they aren't physically by our side. They live along in our heart❤ Wish you all the best! Rest in peace Felicia😢

[@Deeem100]

Ofcourse i remember you, we were in the same situation a little bit and then this happened.. thankyou for all your sweet words it gives me so much strength reading all of this.. 💔

[@EquiiRash11]

Kippenvel all over the place. De tranen staan me in de ogen. Wat is het toch vreselijk oneerlijk. Zo hard gevochten tot het einde. Demi, je mag zo zo trots zijn op jou, Felicia en jullie twee samen. Je hebt gedaan wat het beste is voor haar. De beste keuze is gemaakt, hoeveel pijn het ook doet. Heel erg veel sterkte lieve Demi. You two were meant to be together. A beautiful star in heaven. X

[@Deeem100]

manonxrash Zo lief tranen ook in mijn ogen als ik dit lees.. helaas moest het zo zijn💔 Dankjewel..

[@spiritxmaureen]

Sprakeloos.. echt vreselijk dit, jeetje wat straalt de liefde van deze video af. Heel veel sterkte! Ik hoop dat het nu oke met je gaat... 😢😢

[@Deeem100]

Super lief van je, het blijft moeilijk maar ik probeer me aan alle mooie dingen die ik met dr beleefd heb vast te houden!