My Guide to Life as an Introvert

[@molivaires]

I wish extroverts stop making introverts feel bad, boring or lazy people for not wanting to be outside and doing things all the time. It made me feel like I was wasting my life during many years but now I have noticed that spending so much time alone and doing almost anything is the only way for me to feel good and be happy :)

[@amyandemmahall3852]

Totally feel the same x

[@NoraTKD]

Good for you! Keep doing the things that you enjoy doing and do not apologise to anyone for being introvert.

[@livingunjaded]

María Olivares Aires yes🙌 I feel this so much

[@Borinquena1973]

Especially when we enjoy our own company. Its not like we are depressed.

[@aricarly]

I come from Latin America, where people love being extroverted. But I love being alone. They rarely understand that.

[@jess01510]

As an introvert, I find shopping early in the morning on week ends is really enjoyable. Everyone is sleeping, bus and street are almost empty. It's where it's the less draining for me. I trend to rechage by drawing (a lot, especially on stressfull situations or even during social interation if I can), reading books, watching film, ...

[@farmerted6026]

Corne Branche agreed!! I go grocery shopping @ 6 or 7 am to avoid crowds. I get up at 5 am every morning, so not a big deal for me.

[@AlastairMorgan28]

Yes I 100% agree I enjoy that a lot!

[@rachelam18]

this video is sooo relatable! I'm definitely an introvert, I can't deal with social situations and people don't get it. I find it extremely frustrsting that most people just think it's weird if you're in your 20s and you're not out getting drunk every single weekend. I'm just not into it 😤

[@hannahgraceoutdoors]

Rachel agreed!! Struggled with this for years, I'm 27 now. Especially living in London it's the done thing to party, drink etc every weekend. Struggle is real.

[@Mar-xs3hg]

Rachel being from Latin America everyone is so extroverted, even my old uncles have looked at me weird when I say I don't like going to clubs/drinking or partying

[@Bea56601]

Rachel not going out on the weekends doesn't mean you're introverted. introverts can absolutely love social interaction, just prefer it to be with people they're close with. avoiding going out is a social anxiety.

[@rachelam18]

you cant try to diagnose someone like that over the internet. i didnt say i avoid going out. I said I dont enjoy it

[@TheGangsta4eva]

Rachel yeah they’d be like... get a life! Kiara has really changed my perspective on things I have become like a whole new person ever since I’ve known her... haven’t really encountered too many people who can love as hard and deep as her

[@sarahashford6491]

I found learning to say 'no' has been the biggest life saver, and not feeling bad about it! As in, know that you only have so much energy and so many f*cks to give, and learning where you need and want to give them.

[@dianaleestudio]

Sarah Hatherly That is very much what I have on my video about life as an introvert. I wasn't wrong.

[@CraftsWithEllen]

I learned smalltalk/talking to strangers by working as a waitress in a restaurant. I had a hard time in the beginning, but got sooo much better at it over time. I'm still thankful that I stuck it out :)

[@atemhauch]

Crafts With Ellen I work in retail that helps as well

[@NoraTKD]

Good job! :)

[@Runner8617]

I used to be completely anti-social in high school, working in retail moat of my life really helped me Socialize and even helped me a little with my severe depression . For that I am soo grateful!

[@nomytheone]

such an awesome video! as for my experience as an introvert, I used to get really upset over the fact that i don't have as many friends or just people to hang out with as others (more extroverted classmates of mine, for example) and it made me feel really bad about myself. but with time I've accepted this fact and it doesn't hurt me anymore because 1. i only have those who GET me by my side; 2. i really don't have that much energy to be super social and friendly with everyone i meet, so it's OKAY (took me quite some time to figure it out) and yeah, don't ever pressure yourself to enjoy a social gathering you're not feeling (because you"have to")! it just sucks out the energy, so do your own thing!

[@chanezperez4473]

Have you been to college? Because, as I'm introvert plus shy, I just wanted to know if someone has to deals with it at college

[@7mrugo]

I'm an INFJ and even though it is not easy to be one in this day and age I wouldn't trade it for any other type of personality 💜 The one thing I did when I finally found out why I behave the way I do is I simply stopped apologizing for it. As long as I'm a good person I don't feel like I need to be the most sociable one. xx

[@chunkymonkey9097]

7mrugo ayyye same! INFJ, I still haven't fully looked into what it means though haha

[@ritah9913]

Same!

[@sandrafidlerremsing7267]

7mrugo me too! Also an HSP on top of it. It's so empowering once you know why you are the way you are and that it's actually normal! Thank-you Myers Briggs! ❤️😀

[@katkennedy85]

Me too! :D

[@chunkymonkey9097]

I didn't know that, I always heard that INTJ was the most rare, but when I looked it up INFJ are- so interesting!

[@LoveDaringGreatly]

I am introvert and an empath.. it took me very long to be ok with this.. Now I respect my introvert strength.. i don't have alot of friends.. I prefer familiar settings and i can show up fully after recharging alone.. and there is nothing "wrong with me".. . #introvertsunite #introvertsarenotweird

[@MinnieMarlow]

Absolutely. I totally agree with your comment.

[@ProfessorBorax]

What's an empath?

[@dianaleestudio]

It took me awhile also to be ok. I think I accepted myself the way I am. I have been very productive and excited about life more than ever.

[@slxbeats8146]

I'm still trying to accept that Im introverted tho..prolly like 75% okay with it...

[@IsTheSkyUp]

I'm an ambivert which basically means I'm smack bang in the middle of being introverted and extroverted. I find I lean towards introversion in terms of finding social interactions exhausting, but my personality seems more extroverted.

[@Yararar]

Georgia Brennan-Scott GURL I can so relate!

[@larissanewberry552]

SAME

[@ali3nc4tz58]

For me it's the other way round :D I really love meeting new people and listen to their story and I'm always one of the last people at a party. but I'm also pretty shy and generally a very quite person who doesn't talk very much.. such a weird combination ^^"

[@LayneWatts]

Same here :)

[@mixedintroversion]

Haha, that sucks to be in the middle +Georgia Brennan-Scott

[@inkstainedlips]

I've had some truly awful interactions with people who think introverts are puzzles they get to solve or problems that they are magically gonna fix by forcing you to talk. Or they ask stupid and rude questions like "why are you so quiet?" "do you ever talk?" "do you even have any friends?" (from a professor 3 weeks ago) and the craziest "do you want to die?" from a woman who pestered me for hours at a wedding and assumed I was suicidal cause I didn't want to talk to her. It's so frustrating and makes me feel awful. I wish people were more understanding. Now I avoid so many social situations in fear of people like that. --- Sorry for ranting, just needed to get that off my chest. I try to only go to the mall/shopping centers right when they open on weekdays. I can't handle the crowds and long lines. Being around lots of people or noise is very tiring.

[@RainSprite67]

Katrina S I can very much relate to this. I also dislike people thinking/treating introversion as something very wrong with you, or as you having a mental illness, something that needs to be fixed etc.

[@LizziesAnswers]

That's SO frustrating!! My whole family is introverted and I'm more extroverted than them, but my whole life I've gravitated toward & understood introverts. So it's CRAZY to me how ignorant people can be.

[@TheGangsta4eva]

Katrina S not everyone intrigues me but Kiara does!

[@lareinathelassa]

As much of an introvert as I am, my "me" time is shopping. I love to it alone, just put my headphones in and go!

[@MinnieMarlow]

I feel the same way. But I go at quiet hours, when most people is working or at school. Shopping with family or a friend is a different experience though, kind of a nightmare.

[@PeeweeM80]

Yasmine Bakri yes! I do my shopping with headphones on too 😂 I thought I was the only weird one. Well, others seem to think it's weird. Lol

[@morsinvicta]

I always feel exhausted after being around people for too long and I used to think that something was very wrong with me. Therefore I tried to push myself to endure extended social interaction, which of course made me miserable. Now I've embraced my introverted nature and I enjoy my small doses of sociability every now and then. Also smalltalk is one of the things I hate the most! Great video btw🌹

[@abigailpanarello2394]

I am definitely an introvert and have trouble making conversation. Could you do a video on tips for small talk or just conversations in general? Love your videos so much!!!!!

[@MinnieMarlow]

The only way I've managed to survive small talk, was just listening.. not talking much, if anything trying to make questions so the focus of the conversation goes continually back to the other person, not me. But I don't think there is a magic solution for it. I even dread phone calls now. lol

[@tagtraumer7761]

I ask question like where do you come from? how do you end up here? etc. but actually any question is fine as long its not a yes/no question. People love to talk about themselves and you can just listen which also can be interesting but not that tiring. love from Germany ♥

[@kerriecollard]

i literally quit my job because the constant interaction with people drained my energy to the point that i had nothing left for myself. Ended up going back part time and its the best thing i ever did. i actually enjoy being there now 😃

[@NoraTKD]

That sounds great! And hopefully you have more energy to do the work and have time for yourself as well!

[@Heykay34]

I’m the same thank god it’s only 3 nights a week. This is why I never do overtime it’s just too much interaction with many new people and personalities for one week. I’m absolutely exhausted when I get home.

[@Mar-xs3hg]

In school I have always been the quiet and nerdy girl but I just don't like talking when I have nothing to say, usually I talk when it's gonna add something to a conversation or a debate in class but I still don't understand why should I just say random senseless things?? When I graduated from middle school all of the notes I got from my classmates said things like "I like you but you should talk more" and honestly it just makes me feel like there's something wrong with me ~introverted problems~//rant over// 😂😂

[@margaretcox4290]

Small talk is so so hard for me!!!! I am 47 and just can't do it ....no clue what to say and no desire to even deal with it 😂 I HATE shopping so much I avoid it like the plague......which most of my friends don't understand .

[@NoraTKD]

Online shopping is great, try it out. If going out shopping and getting exhausted is not good for you then try to explain it to your friends in some way that they would understand. Regarding a small talk: try to talk about the weather (how is it now, how was it yesterday/last week, what will it be next week, do you prefer warm or cool weather, why etc.). It is a good topic and not too invasive but you can learn about the other person's preferencies.

[@Runner8617]

I understand! I avoid shopping like the plague too! Amazon has been a lifesaver for me recently.

[@Runner8617]

For small talk I like to compliment people on something, for example "I love your hair! Where do you cut it?" Or "Omg those shoes are gorgeous!" Recently ran into a girl with the most beautiful dress and I had to ask wear she found it, and she said she brought it from a Moscow. I also find that complimenting people makes their faces light up and makes their day so much better:) and that makes me feel good too! Try it! Its so much more fun than just talking about the weather!!

[@ahhhllie]

jklfds85 great tip! Definitely going to use this one. I suck at small talk and this seems like a good conversation starter.

[@TheGangsta4eva]

Margaret Cox I don’t have social anxiety however I do have allergies to superficial people sometimes depending on the situation you have to keep up an appearance for fame etc but that’s where it starts and ends for me.....

[@Miralci]

Relatable! :) Some things I do: -Take a nice long bath with a good book -Go for a walk during my lunch break -Concerning shopping: preparing in advance as well as possible: what do I need? Where can I buy it? Go there, buy it, get out. It doesn't work with everyone, but for some people it can help to explain that you are introverted, which means that social situations drain your energy. I always thank people for inviting me and encourage them to keep doing so, explaining that I can join if the rest of my weekend isn't packed with social events already. Most people seem to understand. I have the impression that personality types (especially introversion vs extraversion) are becoming more common knowledge, which helps. Yay! :)

[@TheGangsta4eva]

Miralci I like sports and adventure, travel helps too I guess

[@anastasiagrebennikova851]

Thank you so much for this video! I'm an extrovert and I have a friend who is an introvert and now I'm starting to understand how he feels from time to time and l hope that I can behave properly now:) it's really helpful to listen to an inside view of this trade of personality from you, cause he never talks about it himself:)

[@NoraTKD]

I am sure that he will talk to you about it soon. He just needs time to make sure you won't "laugh" at him for being an introvert and you would understand and support him.

[@MinnieMarlow]

Hope more friends were like you. Being understood is a wonderful thing.

[@stephanieb1904]

Gahhhh! I love you even more! every word of this video is me! ❤️ The life changer for me was brutal truth: Tell people you're an introvert. Say NO to gatherings you know will drain you. Don't go shopping just to please someone else. They will respect your honesty instead of being at an event with someone who is miserable. My husband is an extrovert (singer/actor) and he gives me 'outs' a lot ("You can stay home if you want.. you don't have to go to this thing.. did you want to paint instead?") I'm a Technical Editor and an artist (yin/yang, I know), so I either dig into work, write something, play with the animals, tackle a KonMari category, get out into nature, or paint/draw/etc. to recharge.. I need that "me" time at least twice a week :) Thank you!!

[@stephanieb1904]

I will also say that I shamelessly wear earplugs in social situations, and it has helped SO much. It truly helps tone down all that energy .. I think we pick up on side conversations and part of our exhaustion lies in hearing Everything around us and constantly trying to focus on who we are talking to. Sometimes I'll wear earbuds when running errands even though I don't always have music playing.. it just prevents small talk when I'm really not in the mood (most of the time I do ok :) ) Hope this helps anyone! ❤️

[@petra123987]

Stephanie B Thanks, this made me realise the mistake I've been making while refusing social gatherings etc. Introverts should be more assertive at explaining their personality. I just find it unfortunate that many people don't understand introversion and still have prejudice about introverts.

[@MrsNoji]

This speaks to me so loudly Especially the trained small talk! I always feel so fake like 'if you really are an introvert you should be quiet' but I work so hard to act open, it's an effort to make just like a loud person can try to be more quiet? I started to go to a cafe alone once a week and enjoy my coffee and read for an hour or two, There are people there but I can enjoy the atmosphere just by myself. It helps a lot. Thank you for this video!

[@larg9555]

Major key: I went out to a club recently (the WORST) and was feeling drained within an hour. I told my gf I'd be right back and quickly went to the bathroom, locked myself in a stall, and just played on my phone for 15-20 minutes. When I came out, I actually began having fun again, and people could apparently tell that I just looked happier. Sometimes it's just those little moments of recharging (ie. "power naps" for introverts) that make all the difference

[@veloursfloraldesigns3498]

My husband is introverted and I am very extroverted. I’ve had to make learning about him and what he needs from me a top priority. It was really difficult and long process and it took a lot of asking each other questions after social gatherings to learn what our routine and boundaries are. Thanks for sharing. It helps me better understand!

[@mutedbliss23]

Thankyou for making this video, i am 48 years old and have recently become more aware of my need to spend more time alone, purely based on the exact reasons you mention i just feel so much more comfortable when i'm either alone or with a handful of people who i feel comfortable with, i feel however that i have lost friends along the way as they possibly see this as me becoming "anti social" rather than becoming more introverted but if they valued my friendship at all i guess they would've tried to talk to me about it, but i'm not even sad about that as i no longer feel the need to have a load of friends , much better to have 1 or 2 true friends who understand me xx

[@consumingdaydreams]

April, I completely agree, that is the best way to look at it! Living as an introvert can be difficult at times as is, so it makes it far more worthwhile when there are friends who support you just the way you are! :)

[@NoraTKD]

That is great, just be yourself :)

[@GiannaChristine]

I used to be such an introvert & now I'm very outgoing! Interesting video💜

[@tabby2475]

I relate to this so much! i have been kind of in denial of my introversion. For me Its like, i Love people but being social has always been a struggle for me, and i worry that people think i do not like them, or i am just being "shy" lol. Building relationships in general is rough for me, it takes time for me to be comfortable. I do not give all of myself away right away. Like you said with small talk, i have been trying to figure out how to show i care and how to function socially around others. i am not pretending to care, i just literally low-key need a script to help me communicate effectively. And needing to communicate with others and etc. is a part of everyday life. Where you work, relationships, everything. So for introverts i guess everything can be draining and takes real effort. But we are deep thinkers and visionaries and just really cool, extra feely, kinda reserved people. We have a lot to give the world and people and i think thats pretty Lit. I am trying to learn more about myself, and embrace myself, including my introversion as well.

[@lucfromczech]

Oh my, SHOP ONLINE, I feel you so much! I literally cannot stand going to the shopping mall. So on point!!!

[@Sadierenephillips]

Totally related with this! I'm an introvert and hsp, one little thing that has helped with saving my energy and recharging is not listening to music on my way home from a long day. I love music but once I started letting my brain rest it was amazing​!

[@mel00079]

Highly sensitive person and introvert here 🌸 what helped me a lot is mediation!!! The best thing you can do for anxiety ect... and accepting and loving who you are ❤

[@cheesy_ground_beef]

I love hearing how other fellow introverts "work" in social situations. I love going to the supermarket and malls because it fills my need to be around people but I don't have to spend the energy interacting with them. Same thing with doing work in public, like at coffee shops.

[@TheNicolls]

I like to take time alone outside... like running or going for a hike and really appreciating the world we live in

[@jacintak5658]

Thank you for this video!!! I have been struggling a lot with large gatherings over the festive season which have been so so draining! I always try and socialise in small groups or one on one... this helps me enjoy the individual people more! I am very picky with the people I spend my time with, which can also be problematic. I often feel very alone at times, probably due to social pressures exacerbated by social media, but I am learning to give myself the alone time my brain craves and do my best to enjoy my friends when I'm out.

[@ronjarovardotter1745]

I am an extreme introvert, highly sensitive and I struggle A LOT socially. It's so bad, I got social anxiety, I am scared to even do groceries (I literally got a panic attack once in a supermarket lmao I'm an embarrasment), tend to isolate myself and have lost quite many friends due to this. I realise that because of this, I am a difficult person to deal / interact with, especially because I am also so sensitive and insecure. But it's so so hard to change myself, I just don't know how. :(

[@nelly8875]

I don't think you need to change yourself. Maybe just improve step by step things like doing the groceries to be able to be more independent, if that's something you would like. I also feel that interacting through the internet, like this or through games is also much easier since there is no time pressure on when you have to answer somebody and the actual physical intimidation. Good luck! :)

[@aprilg952]

Have you heard of cognitive behavioral theory and cognitive distortions? I used to have anxiety like that, and going to therapy to learn how to address those thoughts has been life changing.

[@aprilg952]

The basic gist of it is, when you're afraid of a social situation or you're freaking out after the fact, notice your thoughts ( for example, I might think I'm so annoying! Or embarrassing!). Then look for evidence for and against those thoughts (important to not miss the against). Usually I find that there is a lot of evidence against and none for. Also, I'm sorry, anxiety sucks and I've been there. Grocery stores can be overwhelming! ;) but I promise, your friends want to be around you and the only reason you're losing them is because you're isolating yourself.

[@dean1111]

same, and I also have adhd and probably autism. but I don't think you need to change, just acquire tools to cope with what is hard for you

[@jikkujohn4489]

I could relate to everything you mentioned especially the exhaustion after having tried to interact with new people. 😂 Loved the video. 😘

[@stephanierodriguez7387]

Girl I am in the same boat. I am a highly sensitive person and like 80 percent introverted. Lately I have been struggling with social anxiety which I never had before. But part of the process is learning to accept the way I am . I don't want to go around faking attempted to being this loud person seeking attention . I am instantly repulsed by very loud people too. Great video.

[@kaitlynmcalpine6761]

Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing. I needed this encouragement today; it's okay to need me time and say no.

[@DaphneSCosmeticSnob]

Hello and thank you for approaching this sensitive and important subject. When I tell people that I am an introvert and a KZbinr, they say that it is not possible. To be honest, KZbin allows me to interact with people in a controlled manner. I don't mind social settings or shopping in a shopping mall, but I do feel a void of energy when I get home. My favorite me-time consist of reading. I have a lot of friends which is also not an introvert feature. Most of my friends are introverts as well. There is only one who is an extrovert and we sometimes need to tune in to each other.

[@nisanjin9318]

Definitely an introvert and it's something I'm coming to accept more and more and even embrace. It's actually something I love about myself, but find myself wishing others did too. I try to have a rest day once a week where I literally do whatever i want - time on the rooftop, matcha tea, reading, watching youtube, beauty care, soft music, making a big brunch and waking a little later. This isn't possible for everyone, but so so thankful I'm able to have a day like this at my current stage in life. When I find my introversion morphs into something it's not (such as holing myself away for unhealthy amounts of time and avoiding phone calls) I make this general rule for myself just until I find a healthy balance (yes, I know "balance" is becoming a hated word) again: try to say yes (to opportunities, time with others, conversations, whatever) more than I say no. Thanks for the video. Love this topic when it receives the right approach. And love your videos!

[@trinityoneill2729]

taking pictures with my canon has really helped me be in public/ and in social settings while having something that keeps me focused and that I love doing. it helps me mange my energy bc it helps me choose how social I want to be just depending on the day. Thank you so much for this and all of your videos. Much love.

[@FrootKat]

Yesssss introverted and hsp ! I know it sounds like I can't wait to label myself but seriously knowing your tendencies just makes life that much easier!!

[@petitsjoujoux5011]

Didn't expect to see this video! I'm so happy because I'm an introvert and finally there's a very inspirational video on it >

[@asheisntdeadd]

introversion has led me to nap all day after work and then stay up at night to catch up on whatever I need to do but then I am just tried the next morning at work it's a horrible cycle.

[@ann-helenejernelov9799]

asheisntdead totally agree

[@ann-helenejernelov9799]

I've tried doing that too and it works but I always fall into my old habits and end up sleeping in the afternoon and working at night

[@consumingdaydreams]

I completely get what you mean! I had that same routine very often last year. Now I have been following Muchelle's advice, and getting up earlier in the day has helped me a lot. To wake up earlier, I also go to bed earlier. Therefore, after a long day of classes (which are draining as is, and add in daily interactions to that), I don't have to stay awake as long. Any work I don't finish, I know I can do the next morning, and let me tell you, the peace and quiet of the early hours mean far less distractions...which makes it a lot easier to be productive! :)

[@wpeek]

asheisntdead I've had so many days like that!! I've noticed it's worse if that day I find it more difficult to communicate my thoughts effectively and wondering what people think of me, which makes it worse and another vicious cycle! And i believe it has some part in not sleeping well the night before!

[@slxbeats8146]

Ohhh

[@__-go4kq]

I think that I am as introverted as you can be. Even the smallest interaction with other people (Especially those I'm not comfortable with) drains all my energy. I have choosen to study my collage-degree at home, which really helps me. I feel so much more energized all the time, and I love it. The only downside is when people don't undestand my way of life - they think that I'm missing out on life, when I say don't go out to parties and stuff like that. Other people call me boring all the time. It's really annoying to live in an extroverted world sometimes. xD

[@datbish5]

I am a highly sensitive person and an INFJ. I feel like I can relate so much too you. Subbed!

[@melindanelson-hurst1573]

Thanks for this video, Michelle! I can definitely relate. I love to spend time with other people, but it can be draining, as you point out.

[@Dreyanne1991]

INFJ queen! I feel like so many youtubers are extroverted, breath of fresh air to see a fellow introvert. Awesome video as always xx

[@RiannaNicole]

Ironically, I work night shifts (solely nights!!) and it's the best thing...grant it I work retail, but it helps so much. I do try to order as much online, while it's super convenient that I work at a retailer, where I can just grocery shop right after work, if needed.

[@BubblePopElectricSox]

I find I'm somewhere in the middle, I love hanging out with a small group of people of going shopping on my own when it's quiet, but just can't stand being forced to be with huge amounts of people (like at a festival, gigs are ok, but festivals are too much especially if its over 3-4 days), especially if it means talking in front of them (eg. at work), I am a naturally quiet person and although I'm not that shy, I just don't talk very loudly and HATE when people call attention to it like the volume I speak at is a problem for other people, or it makes me less capable of doing my job?! I don't like drawing unnecessary attention to myself, and get anxious with the thought of speaking to more than 5 people at a time. But I also seriously need to recharge on my own, can't emphasise that enough. Good video, I wish more people spoke about this from the point of view of an introvert :)

[@greenteafifi]

It feels so good to see that I'm not alone! I feel like such an alien sometimes being an introvert!

[@abuengnaledi]

Love this video! Large gatherings where I only know one person are exhausting. But I always loved getting together with one or two people and really having a good chat, even if I just met one of them. My life got so much better when I stopped thinking that I was somehow obligated to go to every event I was invited me to unless I had a "good reason" not to go. "I just don't feel like it" is now one of my reasons. Also, reading "10 Things You Might Like To Know About Introverts" was just a big sigh of relief for me. I was not alone! I stopped thinking I was socially awkward and pushing myself to behave in extrovert ways.

[@bethiefaye]

This was so helpful 🙏🏻 I don't feel alone anymore. The one that hits me the hardest is the constant pressure I feel to be out and about. It hits me hardest in summer too! It made me really dislike the season honestly 😕 I always get "come on your young you should be out having fun!" So now every time I'm inside when the sun is shining I feel this horrible feeling like I'm not doing the right thing? but yea - hearing you talk about it in this video was sooo nice 🤗

[@shelleyl6135]

I have been an introvert my whole life. Being an introvert has shaped me into the person I am today if I hate being an intervert then that means I hate myself. I don't wanna say I hate being an introvert, but there are a lot of negative things that come with it. For example I hate how I keep to myself and avoid any social interactions. I observe the world around me rather than live it. I had this one extroverted friend that pushed me out of my comfort zone without her then I would've stayed that lonely shy kid, I'm so grateful for her. I remember when I was about five-six years old, on the first day of school I pretended that every teacher was evil, so I avoided every teacher, then that small gesture turned into me avoiding anyone, in return I would nod for yes or just blankly stare. Every break I would eat in one of the bathroom stalls, I did it so much that this rumor somehow appeared that some ghost was living in one of the stalls and no one ever dared to look. I got known as that one silent kid. Oh you should know all the stories that got told about me, kids thought my voice was trapped inside of me, or that I was some kind of robot with no feelings or emotions and that's why I never showed any sort of emotion, it wasn't hard hiding away my emotions. At home believe or not I would actually smile, laugh, cry, shout and talk, like a lot. My parents never new about the other side of me, and I never said anything, until parent teacher interviews. I don't really remember how they reacted apart from one thing, they didn't question any of it, my teacher was a piece of shit at the time so I guess they blamed it on her. One day everything changed when one kid from my school caught me talking to my sister. The kid told everyone that I was AcTuAlLy A hUmAn, in that moment I couldn't turn back to the quiet side cause my sister was there, so I blindly said "haha what?"...The kid just blankly stared at me for a straight minute until finally saying "you shouldn't hide your voice anymore, it's actually really cool" I didn't know what to say after that cause I knew she was right, my sister ran off with her friends and another kid sprinted up me realising that I was talking and said "TALK AGAIN!" I was frozen until another two kids ran up to us and asked if I was gonna be like this tommorow, and I said yes I don't know why I said yes but I did and I promised, and you can't break a promise. The next morning for some reason I wasn't freaking out I didn't know what I was gonna do, I wish she had never seen me talking. I remember this part so vividly, as soon as I was near my classroom I heard one kid shout "she's here!" literally everyone came running outside to find me standing there. They all bunched up at the door staring at me waiting, and I hated it so much, I hated that feeling which was growing inside of me, I tried to force a smile but I couldn't, something was stopping me. I felt like running away, I wanted something to interrupt this moment, anything, but no nothing happened and it was obvious to me that I couldn't escape this dreaded moment. So I did it, for the first time in three years of hiding myself from the world, I smiled. Everyone was so surprised and wanted me to talk I didn't know what to say so I stayed silent, "she can talk right!?"... "Yes she can! She talked so much yesterday!" people told me what to say and I said it, tbh I didn't know what to say so I didn't mind it. I put on a bright obviously contagious smile for the rest of the day, if I was quiet for even a minute someone would say "She's back to normal!" so I would interupt them and say "I'm still here". For weeks after that I would put on a fake smile, or whenever someone told me to smile and say "say this" I would do it. It got old pretty fast and I made friends, or I should probably say they made firends with me since I was still very shy. Years pass and its like I was never that silent kid. People did keep on reminding me by saying "weren't you that super shy kid?" I literally hated it whenever someone would say that, I got asked a lot this one question "why did you never speak? " that question stumbled me the most cause even I didn't know. It was never stubborness, I was never self conscious about my voice, I guess I was just a quiet kid. In the next five years I made a lot of long lasting friends that stuck with me, and a few people who were full of shit along the way. Until one day I moved and left everything behind. This is where I am now 13 nearly 14 years old. No more questions on the pass, but instead I have a chance to restart. I still am a very shy kid, I don't think that the shy side ever left me and it will never leave me, it's who I am. I hate knowing that the next day Is gonna be full of unfamiliar faces. I left everything behind except one person, my best firend, the person I look up to, the other part of me, my sister. We both moved schools, and now we're going through this journey together I don't know what I would do without her. Family is everything❤️ -Shelley

[@hollzbaker6686]

Hey Michelle! I totally feel you on the shopping centre thing (Sydneysider here). I feel like they are 10 times more packed than they used to be...and the dueling radios/playlists absolutely KILLS me. I come home and basically need to take a nap for an hour under some thick blankets before I can function normally again. I've only noticed it in the past few years because I've switched jobs meaning i'm not commuting by train into the CBD, and our workplace is on private property so my lunches can be spent walking the grounds or sitting in the sun at a picnic table. So those times i'm surrounded by people have now become pretty overwhelming. I like your online shopping idea! I also choose to get to the stores just as they open and have a plan of attack (ie, which stores I'm going to visit, the items I've spotted online that I want to try on, etc). So i'm usually out of the shops by the time its getting crowded.

[@rota3968]

Love the online shopping point. I also feel exhausted after visiting shopping centres. And do most of my shopping online...and really enjoy it! Just never really connected that trait to my introversion in the way you articulated it...so...yes!...thanks for that bit of clarity!!😊

[@ameeleeardipradja1084]

This is exactly what I've been talking about lately, Im quite an extrovert but my health issues have been preventing me from living that type of life. Lately Ive been trying to become okay with the idea of introvert behaviour and this video helped so much. You're amazeballs as per usual girl!

[@ccsays]

Big introvert here. Lately I've been putting pressure on myself to be more social and it's made me feel exhausted. So definitely taking on your advice to embrace my introversion more.

[@VercouterManon]

Definitely an introvert too ! I sometimes like to skip social gatherings just because when I made the plan I felt good but when I have to go I'm sooo anxious ! Especially if it's with people I don't know or whose personality and interests don't match with me, then I'm like really awkward at small talk haha. Story time : I remember a couple of months ago my boyfriend was invited to a birthday party, so we went. However, when we arrived, it turned out it was a dinner party with only like 10-15 people and the parents of the girl... My boyfriend and I were the only vegetarians there (and I tend to avoid dairy products too most of the time), so the parents gave us a bigger portions of the starter (loaded with cheese) because of the meat-based main course, and everyone was like "oh, you're vegetarian ? I could not do it. It's ok, however, vegans are like so weird and hardcore, they're crazy, they don't eat anything etc." I was boiling inside to see so much judgement haha. Literally felt like I was in a gossip girl episode - me being Dan in the first episodes when he discovers Serena's upper east side world :') I also used to feel super bad for not being social enough or confortable enough around people ; I overanalyzed everything. Now I realize that people are very self-focused anyway, so I should just learn to chill a bit. I also realized that I was not necessarily hanging out with people reflecting the kind of person I want to be, and it was hard to accept that in a way because when I really focused on my interests, I realized very little people from my entourage shared the same ones. But then I turned that into the opportunity to meet new people with whom I'd feel more comfortable. Also, instead of being with people I'm not comfortable with, I managed to have a good portion of alone time to work on side projets and actually improve towards the person I want to be :) It's process, I sometimes fail or feel sad, like people do not understand me, but I keep on going ! It's also nice sometimes to just get out and meet and talk to people, because you realize how insurmontable you've made it look in your head, but after, you feel much better, refreshed from the new insights and perspectives the other person brought you. Talking is sharing. As for me, the only problem is that I'm actually trying to figure out what job i'd like to do, and the more I think about it the more I feel like i'd like to work on my own as a freelance/consultant/auto entrepreneur, however I'm 23 and have no money and no professional experience so... I guess I'll have to compromise haha :')

[@BeautiFuFu]

I've found the solution to my shopping. do it during the weekday between 8am and 10am (only the seniors are out, everyone else is at school/work) or after 9pm ( in the suburbs next to no one is out. everyone is at home doing family related things, and young adults are are in the process of getting ready for their night out. ) but golden rule of thumb...avoid the times 2pm to 7pm this is when kids get off from school, people are getting off from work, and people are going out to dinner (too many people, and too much traffic)

[@dgMLFH]

I would have never guessed that you were an introvert! Great channel btw, I love your whole vibe :)

[@LStottmann]

Wow! You have literally described me to a T! I am SO glad and reassured I'm not the only one that literally is exhausted after social situations. I went to the hair dresser for 2.5 hours and came home and almost passed out from chit chatting the whole time! I'm NEVER alone when I'm alone. It takes a LOT to go do things. Whew!

[@bigfluffydinosaur]

I'd never given it much thought before, but I'm definitely more introverted than I thought. I'm outgoing enough to be loud at a party and talk to everyone there, or talk to absolutely everyone at work, but I definitely don't need these interactions and I'm always so excited to get back to my own space where I don't have to talk to everyone. I'm so busy now and your videos have inspired me to get up at least 2 hours before work (and I shower the evening before) - I have so much more me-time now, and I'm learning so much about myself, thank you!

[@nyamoram5972]

I really enjoyed the editing of this video. I've been struggling with how I might incorporate the photos I took from a recent California vacation into a video. This definitely gives me some inspiration. :)

[@Runner8617]

OMG EVERYTHING you just described is EXACTLY how I felt my entire life and I always thought it was just me!!!

[@gerrigigi]

Thank you for all your insights. Knew I was an introvert but never thought to embrace it. Can't wait to get creative with it.

[@SuperRoo91]

Great video :) . For years I knew I was introverted, but thought it meant I was just shy. finding out that introversion means being energised by time alone was so relieving - it stopped me seeing shyness as a negative thing and also made me feel less guilty for planning time alone. I used to make multiple social plans a week / day and end up tired and late to each gathering. Now I have a rule where I plan to do just one social thing a day, and take time before or after to chill out.

[@tanvi9136]

feels so satisfying to see how many people the same way. feels like we have a fam of our own.

[@tanyablais5793]

Great video and I relate 100%...The book Quiet by Susan Cain or at least watching her TedTalk would be insightful for many of us. I know it helped me to feel that I don't have to apologize for who I am. Best tips I have for thriving in an extroverted world: 1) Say no to most social outings. No guilt and no excuses. 2) Carve out plenty of alone time. 3) Socialize around common interests (tennis, hiking, etc.) 4) Advocate in the work place for introverts. Not everything should be a collaborative group project, an immediate answer...Our workplaces are less than they could be because of this group think-quick response mentality. 5) Going into social settings or family gatherings, have an exit plan. Know in advance how long you plan to socialize so that you can fully enjoy it AND know that when it will end.

[@Yesica1993]

I second the Susan Cain book. I already knew I was an introvert, but it was wonderful to hear the strengths we can bring to relationships and work places, instead of ALWAYS feeling (and often being told) that there must be something wrong with us because we don't want to chit chat and be with people all the time.

[@roseonfire27]

I've always been a huge introvert and I used to get really down about it, especially in high school where everyone around me seemed to be so social and extroverted and would form big groups of friends. Now that I'm older I've fully embraced it and I don't care what people think of me, I have a small group of close friends - both introverted and extroverted - who get me and that's all I need. I've definitely struggled with the social side of things but I'm gradually getting better at it, especially because of my job and my time at uni. Honestly I just think it gets easier as you get older, you understand yourself and people around you better and form better relationships as a result :)

[@radpotterrelatedname]

I struggle with the fact that society places more value on spending time with others than on spending time alone... If I don't have much on for a couple of weeks I start to feel inadequate and unproductive because I haven't shared anything with anyone. I am not sure that those feelings are wrong because I also feel like people are the most important thing in my life and I value personal relationships above all else. Maybe it's my values and not society's that I need to worry about...

[@MinnieMarlow]

I think there is no right or wrong. As you said you should think about what works better for you, and satisfy your needs of social interaction or alone time, depending on how you feel. I do feel pressured to be social, or hang with family that I don't even like, but nobody pressures extroverts to go against their needs, so that is unfair. Just the world we live in. For a long time I've cared too much about other people's expectations, and in some way I still do.. I don't think I can ever not care. But I do care a LOT less than before. They don't have to understand me, but I don't have to be someone I am not.

[@minimisewithme613]

really related to this. I'm an introvert and HSP as well. I really enjoy my lunch breaks alone for me time as being around others all day is draining. I'm okay in social situations but if it drags out like training in and back home for three hours on top of seeing people for dinner etc I find those outings are particularly hard.

[@valentinawagner5980]

great video! finally someone who understands without judging :) Love your channel!!

[@annaglance]

Thank you for this video! It helped me understand my introverted side way better:)

[@consumingdaydreams]

Yes, what a great video, Muchelle! No wonder I felt connected with you and your videos for a reason :) Thanks for helping to normalize introversion more. My main way to decompress is taking at least a 30-min walk at night (less people!). I bring my phone for music only, and keeping it on airplane mode helps me avoid outside distractions or messages. Another habit is journaling *every* single night - proud to say I've done so for the past 3.5 years now! Having the safe place to share literally whatever is on my mind really helps me reflect on my day.

[@ItsKelsiesLife]

So many people think I'm an extrovert since I make KZbin videos and am comfortable with a camera in my face... they couldn't be more wrong! I can turn on my extroverted side for small spurts, but thrive as an introvert! ❤️ this was a fantastic video love!

[@LightintheWasteland]

I'm an introvert and work in retail, and after work I come home wiped, but I try to use this forced social time to brighten people's days. My small talk consists of asking how people are and what they're doing with their day, and complimenting them on something. Seeing them walk away with a smile makes my exhaustion worthwhile 💚

[@KimchiiKnight]

My energy is usually geared to more introversion, but I love to be social and interact. I found that spending time with my friends on online, allows me to recharge while also meeting the desire to spend time with them. Especially on twitter. Because twitter is like a hub for everyone to sort of come and go as they please and you can jump in to conversations at your leisure

[@nataliabaage]

Great video. It would be lovely to see more introvert-based videos. Nice stuff!

[@angeladavis2260]

I just turned 40. I've been on the you tube motivational band wagon for the last year. Jus discovered you. This is one of the best days of my life! Almost everything you said is exactly me and my life has been so rough; friends, family, co-workers, totally NOT getting IT. the 3 videos I've watched tonight have helped me more than 10 years of counseling and my while life suffering from anxiety and depression.. go girl.. Seriously Thx ✨🌺🌺✨🌺🌺✨ 🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺 🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺 ✨🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺✨ ✨✨🌺🌺🌺✨✨ ✨✨✨🌺✨✨✨

[@amiloulew]

I have started to listen to podcasts whilst shopping and it gives me something to focus on. I don't think I even look at people's faces but the whole experiences felt much more therapeutic :)

[@brigittesmith4790]

Thank you so much for making this video! It helped me understand myself so much better and your advice is great!! You're amazing xx

[@kellyalleyne229]

I always feel guilty for not making enough effort with socialising, thank you for making me feel better about it! Do any other introverts find that they are naturally drawn towards more extroverted people? Anyone i've ever been close friends with or in relationships with has been the polar opposite of me in terms of how confident they were around other people, and how much effort they make with others

[@shayalj5519]

This video is so accurate about my situation 😂🙈 Love your videos they always makes me feel good and motivated 💕💕💕

[@maddiemover5894]

So relatable. I feel like there's such an enormous pressure to be this loud character with an unlimited amount of conversation and energy, I just don't have that.

[@Runner8617]

when I was a little girl and my mom would take us siblings clothes shopping, I remember I would come home COMPLETELY EXHAUSED! And I never knew why! I would wonder why spending a day trying on clothes was so exhausting!! Now as a grown up I recently started understanding that it is because Im a sensitive person and HIGHLY introverted. Now I buy most stuff online:)

[@trolfek]

I've learned to incorporate more self-care activities as a regular part of my everyday life: long baths, face masks, mani-pedis, KZbin videos (!). Helps tame my anxiety and my previous tendency to over achieve and thereby neglect my own needs.

[@nelly8875]

I do my grocery shopping really early in the am when nobody can be bothered going to the stores and all the items are freshly restocked! Score!

[@kaliadair5867]

Thank you for posting this subject, you have just described my nature spot on. A little unsettling, (😉) I used to struggle with accepting these things about myself and just not understanding why I feel so different than my friends seem to feel energetically. Fast forward, sometime in the last year my therapist explained it to me and since then I have embraced it in a new light. It's nice to meet you, person, who is so much like me!

[@tamerebel]

Thanks so much for this video. I'm an introverted person but often seem extroverted and I constantly pressure myself to do a lot of stuff with other people but I don't really want to. It's weird and I'll try to do more of what I actually want to do.

[@missmatti]

Yes I can so relate! I might be more of an ambivert on the scale and if you meet me at a dinner I probably come across as a social butterfly. But I really also just enjoy being home creating stuff. I used to try to be more extroverted in the past, and not honouring this side of me. But the past couple of years has been a reclaiming of my introversion which has been so freeing.

[@farmerted6026]

I go on nature walks by myself while taking random photos of the environment I'm in. I also work in my backyard, go to familiar restaurants maybe 2-3x/month, talk and hang out w/my friends every once in a while, listen to music while Spring cleaning, and lastly talk to a few online friends abroad in the UK or NZ. my current job allows me to work from home 4 days out of a 5-day work week, so that suits me just fine.

[@kellyrosecrocker8754]

INFJ and HSP here, love seeing introversion discussed more and more! Great books that helped me were 'Quite' by Susan Cain, 'Introvert Power' by Laurie Helgoe and 'The Highly Sensitive Person' by Elaine Aron.

[@Yesica1993]

Great video on an important topic. I also highly recommend Susan Cain's book, "Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can't Stop Talking." It not only has the best explanation of introversion that I've seen, but it highlights the things that introverts can bring to relationships and workplaces. It was so refreshing to realize I can bring something positive, instead of spending my entire life thinking of my personality as something lacking, or that I needed to fix. How I wish I'd had this book years ago. I am 49 and feel like I've wasted most of my life approaching my personality as something "weird" that I had to overcome. (Because we are always told this!)

[@TheLadyLifeTV]

I love love love your videos! ❤ you're a huge source of inspiration to me. I just wanted to ask if you've done/thought about doing something like a morning routine day in the life? I'd love to hear your thoughts on giving your day a structure (especially when working from home) and finding the balance between work and home life. My day feels very scattered and unproductive Sometimes so your thoughts would be totally appreciated​ :D ❤

[@supriyajain687]

muchelle love the funny comments in the middle of the video! 'So I'm a big ball of fun' loll hahahaha goes for all introverts

[@kaitlyningenito6200]

Great advice and describes me perfectly!! Love this video and great advice to do what you think is fun and not what is expected to be fun. Took me a long time to accept this and not get down on myself about it. Rather have an intimate dinner with a small group of friends than go to a bar any day.

[@lpleach]

Things definitely go smoother when you embrace who you are rather than try to conform to what others think you should be. You'll find your own strengths come out. Looks like you've figured out a lot already! Monitor your social energy and don't 'overspend' that energy so you don't get too tired.

[@DansonforJoy]

This was fascinating! I think I'm most likely an extrovert, but I've noticed I DEFINITELY need time alone to recharge. (Makes me want to take a personality test!) I do have for-sure introverted loved ones in my life, and this video helped me understand them a bit better. Thanks!

[@Borinquena1973]

For me, learning not to feel bad saying no has been so good. Graduation parties and baby showers, even funerals for people I haven't talked to in years I can say no to. I have to know my emotional limits esp since I have body pain daily. In the end, the person trying to make you feel bad for not going is not going to be a mess after, I will. So "no" is a great word and even better is a "no" without having to defend or explain myself.

[@MinnieMarlow]

I agree with all you said but to the last part... YES! that is one of the best feelings.

[@daniadaisy8395]

I'm an introvert who loves shopping! Haha, so I definitely agree with that online shopping mantra!

[@lauraaitaliaa]

i can relate to most of the things you said! really nice video :) i used to hate shopping because i always went with friends and i did not really know what i wanted or i was too shy to show what i like... now i only shop alone and in the mornings or whenever the shops are mostly empty (or i deliberately choose the shops that are empty most of the times) and it's no problem anymore :)

[@lauren8627]

Anxiety is the quickest way to turn an extrovert into an introvert. I think you're a successful introvert! Everyone can improve on small talk and social skills, but it's so important to have a chill out time just for you!