My Husband Is Demanding That He Chooses Our Child's Name r/Relationships

[@paperkay]

The fact a woman should have to worry about her spouse screwing her over a baby name while she's recovering is.... just not happening. That is not a spouse.

[@Vipre-]

This makes me wonder why hospitals wait until AFTER the birth to start filling out paperwork. At worst if something goes south during the delivery they can shred the partially filled out documents.

[@EIizabethGrace]

@@Vipre-​⁠​⁠​⁠​⁠ I mean, realistically, would a woman truly be in a better position to not to be screwed over if she had to fill out paperwork in between contractions? It sounds like the power imbalance would be even greater and like it would also just be a bigger headache for regular parents who are going through and trying to be present for the birth of their child. If anything, I wonder why the birth certificate needs to be finalized - name and all - so quickly that they can’t even wait for mom to be involved. It would seem so easy to pospone, and so intuitive to enforce a rule where both parents need to be present unless the absent party provides written consent and/or there’s a very valid reason for them not being there.

[@judelbugsrutter6727]

Yeah total jerk

[@johnbradbury8610]

Op should not have had unprotected sex with a man who allowed his mommy to disrespect her. At five months pregnant it's a little late for reddit. Way to go OP.

[@Draggonny]

In other countries you don't have to do the paperwork on the day. I live in England where you get 42 days to register the birth. If the parents are married then either can register the birth but if they're not then only the mother can register it. They can also do amendments to the registration but that has a fee. I like the fact that the mother can have some recovery time before they do the paperwork. My neice had a "didn't know I was pregnant" surprise baby so she could take some time to get over the shock and think of a name.

[@cheekyweb8055]

Why did she stay married to someone who didn’t believe the verbal abuse she was getting? ☠️

[@johnbradbury8610]

great question. Also, why do they ask reddit after they've gotten pregnant?

[@827honey1]

Who would back her up? The other people the mil was sweet as pie to with just her word versus his mother who he has been close to all his life and would never show him nothing but love. His skepticism and belief op was exaggerating or misinterpreting things is not surprising. Not to mention it seems like his other girlfriends may have just left without speaking about his mother's behavior so his eyes could not open to there being a pattern. The mil would have had everyone believing she was the crazy one. As long as OP avoided one on one time with her things would be fine.

[@bricksloth6920]

I wouldn't want to be married to this momma's boy, let alone have a child with him. Tell him to kick rocks, separate, don't allow him at the hospital, anybody this unhinged about a name isn't trustworthy.

[@poohbear4515]

Kinda makes me think either OP is not looking hard enough at the red flags before and even after marriage, or she’s just spineless. I’d go with maybe both.

[@ladyv5655]

Yes. The fact that he disregards her experience is even more of a deal breaker than the baby name. OP needs to get away, even if just for a little while. It is troubling that he believed his ex over his wife, too.

[@troubleinthevalley5884]

Exactly. Why would you see this person who is supposed to love you and cherish you and trust you and he refuses to believe that his mother is treating you terribly and then you turn around and get pregnant by him?! You know he's likely going to end up treating your daughter the same way too. That's crazy to me

[@johnbradbury8610]

She really should have thought about that before getting pregnant. it's a little late for reddit.

[@ladyv5655]

@johnbradbury8610 , you know, she didn't get pregnant by herself. You could just as easily have said, " He should have thought about this before getting her pregnant. " and it would make just as much sense.

[@colleens1107]

Story one: Amelia is a very good compromise and a much prettier full name for the nickname Millie. I’m still pissed at hubby’s dismissive attitude and his inability to see how badly his mom treated his wife. Well she’s dead now so it’s an issue they can let rest

[@bonefetcherbrimley7740]

Unless a necromancer gets involved.

[@LizLuvsCupcakes]

@@bonefetcherbrimley7740 I don't even think the cruelest of dark wizards would be THAT mean.

[@juanhaines7295]

Story 2 I heard this one before. Hopefully everything Will workout for op. That woman has no right to be called a mother.

[@juliearmfield2634]

No not at all shes even a pathetic excuse for an egg donor

[@user-mp1is6ys7m]

I honestly cannot believe that the dad in the second story can possibly be that dense

[@johnbradbury8610]

It would seem Ops's mother has his father wrapped around her finger.

[@Sherwoody]

Wouldn’t be surprised if she deliberately got pregnant again to keep the gravy train going.

[@flamelily2086]

Story 2 Although OP's mother was an apalling mother when she was 16 I was thinking that she is a lot older now and could be a good mother to the new baby. However, the way she went and started a reaming a OP has just proved that she is stiil immature and unfit to be a mother. I hope OP can develope a goid relationship with his father in the future. I do believe that the mother saw OP as a convenient free babysitter.

[@Vipre-]

Her parents did both her and OP a disservice by letting her "off the hook" as a parent rather than make her take responsibility with just an assist from them. Maybe it would've made a world of difference, maybe she's just trash to the core and would've turned out the same regardless, but it's certainly too late now.

[@draconicfeline6177]

Honestly some people shouldn't be parents. Children are a responsibility and privilege, not a right. Honestly on the one hand, I feel like classes, a psych screening, and a licence should be needed but sadly that would be used to abuse minorities etc.

[@michellej7831]

They want op to move in as an extra live in baby sitter i suspect.

[@gabrielle4152]

​@@draconicfeline6177 Adopting a kid can be such a long, complicated, expensive process but any two people with the right set of genitalia can make up a whole new person and get to keep them without having to prove anything a priori.

[@rorimorgant.williams6647]

In the last story OP mentioned that his father was a lawyer. Starting out lawyers have it almost as bad as new doctors do. I have friends who were both young lawyers and young doctors (different friends) and their jobs were so much torture that when they had time off they either just slept or partied hard and then slept. Everyone knows that doctors have a hard time of it because there have been enough TV shows that are almost right on how tough it is but there is absolutely nothing exceptional about spending 70 hours in a law library to find case law for a brief that is due on Wednesday and the lead attorney told you on Monday.

[@johnbradbury8610]

He said his dad worked at a law firm. he also said his dad had Gfs, partied, and took vacations. His dad also got his garbage mom pregnant again. He is better than Ops mother but not by much.

[@stuffedninja1337]

I (and my sister, it was a 2-part name) was named after the woman my dad loves. I do NOT share a name with my mother. Been wanting to change it since I was 5, picked out my chosen name at 7. Sis goes by her middle name. Everyone needs to be clear about the origins of and reasons for their name choices well in advance of births.

[@HamsterPooh]

The emotion you put into your reading gives your videos something over the others in my opinion. You don't just react to them, you put yourself in their place, and it's amazing. Chef's kiss!

[@Mama_Bear_of_3]

Story 1 I felt the same way about naming my daughter, but I started to like it. But, how dare OP's husband not believe his mother was abusive to his wife? I am glad they found a compromise. When I was pregnant with our twins, my husband wanted to name our son, Oswald, and all I could think of was Oswald Cobblepot from Batman (sorry if I have insulted any Oswalds out there). He said we didn't have to call him Oswald and could use Ollie or Ozzy as a nickname, but those weren't much better. My mother-in-law is the one that helped me. She asked me what name I wanted, so I told her and she loved the name. After that, and throughout my pregnancy my MIL and I just kept calling the baby by the name I wanted. By the time we gave birth and my husband and I discussed names, he said, "Well, Colby has kind of grown on me, plus mom told me Oswal is a really old name and he might get teased in school." I felt a bit bad about what we did, but there was no way in hell I was going to name my son Oswald, not even as a middle name. My MIL is the absolute BEST! We did, however, choose the name my husband picked for our twin girl. It wasn't even on the top 300 list and I thought it was really pretty and unique. But then the Twilight books/movies came out and it has been in the top 10 since then. 😡

[@Draggonny]

As soon as you said Oswald my mind went Ozzy, then immediately to Ozzy Osbourne. He's great and all but he doesn't have the calm, cheerful energy you'd want in a baby. 😆

[@judyjohnson9610]

My hubby wanted to name our firstborn, if it was a boy, Jeremiah. I was glad it was a girl

[@francinetitherington4060]

Being just a bit younger than Boomer age.. I immediately thought of Lee Harvey Oswald.

[@francinetitherington4060]

Personally, I love Jeremiah, though you know he'd end up being called Jerry. However, names need two yeses and a sungle NO means you decide on another one that is mutually acceptable.

[@deirdrelewis1454]

Story 2: you,young man, are awesome! And your grandparents are incredible!!

[@lynnw7155]

I'm glad that OP wants to be important in the new baby's life. That kid is going to need a friend.

[@Sherwoody]

Biomom wants him as a built in babysitter.

[@juanhaines7295]

Hope everyone had a good Thanksgiving.

[@gcarr1089]

Last story - not sure if I missed it but there was no mention of, if it was the grandparents that got the money or did bio mum. If it was the bio mum and she never told her own parents then the bio father better watch out as bio mum is only after him for the money, hope he has a pre- nup in place.

[@RobDaCajun]

This is what I came to write. Since, OP was in contact with his paternal grandparents and attended family functions. Then this seems unlikely that it didn’t go directly to the maternal grandparents. I’m sure the “in-laws” would have communicated that the Dad was being a deadbeat. If they weren’t receiving the money directly.

[@Sherwoody]

I’m rather suspicious that biomom got the money and has blown through it. If the money had gone to grandparents, they would have told him when they showed them the post.

[@RobDaCajun]

@@Sherwoody I think if that came out to his biodad. Then he would be done with his wife and go for full custody of the youngest. Reality is both are POS for different reasons. He got to go live his best life. Getting his law degree, getting established in his career, partying with wild women, etc etc. all the while convincing himself he was doing right by his first born. Now, he wants to settle down and everyone play happy family and he’s the best. It’s all delusional.

[@Sherwoody]

@@RobDaCajun I’d be thinking DNA if I were him.

[@RobDaCajun]

@@Sherwoody indeed.

[@BraveryWing26]

"My mother was deadly scared of adoption so SHE WANTED TO GIVE ME UP FOR ADOPTION" WHAT

[@morganleanderblake678]

Okay, but this is why we don't give excuses and fake reasons for why no. Just NO is enough. Telling them it was about the district made the situation keep going.

[@BraveryWing26]

I am so glad first OP's husband learned the truth and changed his mind. So great.

[@gilles111]

In the last story, nobody curious about the child support dad sent? If dad did sent child support for over 15 years, where did that money end? My guess, in the pockets of "lovely mum" using it for anything except the fun things with her son she lied about to the dad. We don't know how much dad sent and how many years but mom wasn't just a bad parent but also took 15 years of child support to fund her own life? 15 years x 12 months x $430 average (that's what CPS states as the average child support) makes it up to 77k mom has stolen from her child...

[@AWildJirachi]

If the grandparents had 0 clue about the child support or the college fund, I’m guessing that the egg donor somehow circumvented that money and kept it for herself instead of it going to the grandparents & OP.

[@pixel9548]

My stupid ex wanted to name the baby "Day Dream" if a girl and "Sky Walker " if a boy. He wasn't even a Star Wars fan.

[@BraveryWing26]

I am so glad 2nd OP called them out. They really had it coming.

[@luckyrobinshomestead]

I hope everyone else calls Amelia Amy after she starts school instead of Millie and she fights with her dad about it constantly, when he's the only hold out. And Amelia wants to be called Amy because she hates Millie.

[@katphish30]

DON'T. MARRY. A. MOMMA'S. BOY.

[@punchkitty007]

My mom told my dad he was welcome to name all the children he had 😂

[@owl7072]

Story 2: "We did the best we could" if your "best" was you barely being around to begin with while she actively ignored him at every opportunity and then bailed the moment she could and you both just all around left Op to be raised by other people, then I'd hate to know what your worst is, and one or both of you should take parenting classes before you're even so much as allowed to _hold_ that baby after they're born because personally, I wouldn't trust you with a _pet rock._

[@Letha-AnnCooper]

OP’s mother was an abusive roommate. Nothing more. Your dad put in some effort. You need to talk to your dad in private. He needs to know the truth about how nasty your biological mother treats you when he isn’t around. Tell your biological father to read this post. Your biological mother will continue to neglect and abuse you when your biological father isn’t around

[@justinburgard4700]

S2) "My father couldn't bear the idea of having his child living somewhere and never seeing him again" so instead abandoned you with your maternal grandparents and saw you maybe twice a year.... Father of the Year ladies and gentlemen....

[@cpaul9269]

S1 - NTA - Baffles me how someone justifies having a baby with someone who didn't believe her when she told him about his mother abusing her. The fact that OP would even have to ask Reddit about whether or not she's being an AH makes me feel like she's been at least emotionally abused. This is F-ed up.

[@holyek7892]

The second story is so sad. The bio parents didn't pay child support? The bio mother is terrible. What a sow! The bio parents want a babysitter. Also how dumb can you be to make cream pie twice with the same person?.

[@AngelDeed]

The father is terrible too, but only the mother gets blamed. All he did was send money while living his life and partying and never really checking up on his child.

[@johnbradbury8610]

Thank you, the fact that he knocked her up 16 years later shows he hasn't changed a bit. Its a good thing Op has his grandparents.

[@johnbradbury8610]

@@AngelDeed Agreed, the father isn't much better at all. that's reddit world where you can be a total AH as long as you say you're sorry.

[@Sherwoody]

I’m surprised though that he hasn’t given her the heave-ho. If I were him, I’d be asking for a DNA test for baby.

[@aubreymorgan9763]

number 2 he'll end up raising his baby sibling not the parents. mom is selfish and father is delusional.

[@candiebarr6745]

My moms (at the time) bf filled out my birth certificate. Spelled my first name wrong, used an uncommon short version for my middle name and stuck me with his last name.

[@troubleinthevalley5884]

Wow I can't believe you even stayed with that man let alone went and got pregnant by him when he wouldn't even believe how his mother was treating you. Girl, what were you thinking?!

[@cpaul9269]

S2 - Amazing OP would even speak to either of his DNA donors. NTA at all, obviously. i hope OP keeps getting support from grandparents. OMG. Yeah, maybe time to get some more info from dad. I would - just to know if nothing else. EDIT after update: Grandparents do near some responsibility here for not holding their daughter accountable for anything. they have for sure done right every other way by OP though, so...I think male donor will be leaving female donor. i actually got the vice he genuinely gives a shit. I think female donor does just want OP b/c she wants a family, and male donor wants op. female donor would absolutely abuse the situation. But again, I think male donor is gonna end the relationship with female donor, and may even sue for custody of the new baby.......what a horrible way to experience family fro OP. Thank GOD for his GPs though. wow.

[@mindyschocolate]

Mildred is an awful name. OP should stand her ground.

[@ElleriaZer]

I would say I wonder why so many people in that generation had awful names (both my grandmothers hated their given names and went by their middle ones), but then I look at the equally horrible names pinned to kids now and when I was a kid and realize that some people are just....awful at naming kids, and that's the nicest way to phrase it.

[@lalalachris]

The husband wanting his wife to suck it up and resent her child’s name to make his child into a trophy or something

[@greendiamondglow]

He wouldn't believe his wife, but he would believe his ex? That's a problem...😒

[@arleneclark6369]

Story 2, the sad thing is, the parent that wanted to be there wasn't allowed to (father) and the mother was there and couldn't be bothered with him. Stick with your Grandparents, father and half sibling and tell the egg donor to eff off. Not saying you'll have a son father relationship but u could have some type of relationship.

[@candypettynettie487]

S2- Op's father isn't sh#t either. No calls, texts, pop up visits, video chats? Just pop in once in a while and take op to the movies and go back home? He was so distant himself he didn't realize Op's egg donor was ignoring him. Thank God for tge grand parents because Op's parents suck

[@heatherward1807]

If he expects the child to carry his surname then the forename is her decision 🤷‍♀️

[@srideout91]

The second story is a lovely fairytale

[@weezylone]

OPs grandparents seem to be doing a decent job with their do-over kid, after raising one that thought neglecting and abandoning their own kid was acceptable behavior.

[@lucysimons653]

You don't want to believe that a mother can be unpleasant. Especially if they loved you to pieces. But your wife and your mother/family ought to be equal. Compromise and agree to disagree is normally the best course.

[@maurer3d]

Story 2: NTA, it would be one thing if you were 6 and the only reason they were distant was for college....But they are 32/33 and only now starting to get their life together.

[@jessilynallendilla5014]

2: the mother is horrid but so is the father he can't really call himself one to OP either he ditched only to visit once a year no calls no letters no vacations OP could see him go on all these years having a great life without them now when OP is practically an adult he wants to play happy family with the birth mom if he was a part of OP's life he'd know that is never possible he has no excuse for it and it looks like he'll need to get full custody then he'll find out how much effort being a father actually is at least OP wants to be a part of their sibling's life maybe the cycle will be broken

[@Andbit365]

Wha this up with women/men staying with people who let other people disrespect them and also partake. I don’t understand their reasoning.

[@tartlynerdy]

Story 1 - I don't see anything wrong with the name Milly or Mildred, but given the context, I call NTA. Op's husband kind of sucks in this area and I wouldn't be surprised at all if he were the sort of guy that does what he wants while op is literally too indisposed from giving birth to stop him. Divorces have occured for less than this. Story 2 - oh please. Op's parents just want op to move in to become free babysitting for their do-over baby. At least, that's the vibe I'm getting from op's mother. She hasn't changed at all. She's just using this new baby as an excuse to get back together with op's dad and she's using the fact he wants them all to be a family to get her way. I really hope op's dad doesn't really consider a relationship with this woman. The only thing that disappointed me was the fact nobody recorded the mom's toxic rant. That could have been used to protect the new baby.

[@chsparkle]

Same, some people exaggerate the whole 'kids will automatically bully' deal. Frankly, kids can bully any name but why would they even know this is old fashioned unless all the adults are making a huge fuss. A lot of old fashioned names are making a comeback. It being mil name is far more valid a reason.

[@lindak8664]

S1: Husband is a giant mummy’s boy. He is still treating you second to his dead mother. Baby’s names can be changed by the way. Spelling mistakes. Language mistakes. Not realising baby’s initials spelt fart. Sneaky other person registering the wrong name. It happens. It’s not free, but it’s not a problem either. S2: You’re 16. No judge is going to force you to live with them if it comes to that. Your attitude towards baby sibling is wonderful. I hope you become an absolute champion big brother.

[@CareyBilley]

S2 You are old enough to make this decision and you are not wrong for your feelings, they can start their lovely new family and keep you out of it until they prove that they earn the right to be your parents again. Your mom is the worst for thinking she can just walk back into your after treating you like a mistake and a burden, they both made you without your consent and none of this is your fault at all. Stay with your grandparents and then move out get an education and make them prove that they "want" you in their life.

[@photoflo78]

Sadly you are never to old for you parents to hurt you. You'd think that they'd learn from how they were treated as children. Stop vicious cycles, and treat people the way you want to be treated. But seriously, OP I'm sorry

[@AWildJirachi]

Imagine believing your ex over your wife and the mother of your child.

[@salomerodriguez5145]

So he believed an ex and not his wife? ☠️

[@debbiehines6803]

Tell your husband that his daughter will hate him for naming her that. Not the AH. He is, however. How can you possibly be happy with this mommas boy. 2. Not the AH.

[@CareyBilley]

Sounds like the husband is just as big a bully as his mother.

[@NakaidaBeauzec]

Why would op's husband want to constantly be reminded of the anuse? Because he wants to continue to abuse her.

[@ajzephyros7454]

Oh I heard story 2 before maybe there's an update? Oh cool update

[@anniedeedrix6732]

She got pregnant from A man who did not believe that his mom was horrible

[@queenirmamay]

36 years with him 10 years in the early days with the fear of he had 3 I had 1 the 3 together buried 1 if ever touched another woman now just like if touched another man hell to the no and get it wrong both of us are not blind or never been chatted up and when some are your kids age

[@elsaflood6393]

Not every woman deserve to bore a child let alone be a mother.

[@mariecherrytree]

Oh man Mildred is on my short list for yes names 😕

[@lucyann1573]

The dad on the second story is a spineless toad who chose to bring another kid into the world with that awful woman. Why is everyone catering to that dumpster person? I hate to say it but i don't have any faith in them whatsoever. I see hurt feelings and parentification in OP's future

[@tristanilletschko6700]

I mean my nick name has my middle name in it so I care about my middle name also it's a 2 yes situation not a 1 no and 1 yes situation when it comes to baby names

[@tfrtrouble]

If you don't want to name your baby after someone who was horrible to you, you don't have to. Period. There is no need to justify it with silly arguments about how she will be bullied. Obviously names intended to be ridiculous (like Mickey Mouse or calling a boy Sophie) will attract attention and is a jerk thing to do. But fundamentally children are not bullied for slightly unusual names, they are bullied because the bully senses vulnerability, and if they can't use the name, they use something else. A girl in my class was called Ella (totally normal name) and the bullies called her Ella the smeller. Another girl was called Cloudy and she wasn't bullied at all and was one of the popular girls.

[@arleneclark6369]

Story 1, why not just give her the name Millie?? It doesn't have to be Mildred or Amelia they could just call her Millie 🙄

[@83gemm]

Why would you procreate with a man who didn’t listen when you told him his mother was cruel to you? I’m getting sick and tired of these stories like, “My husband has always been a dick and now I’m having a kid with him.” Not the AH for the question at hand, but good lord.

[@discord20]

Look, I'm sorry, if you brewed up that thing in your belly and went through the terrible pain of birth for like 8+ hours, you get veto power. Like, partners should ultimately agree and come up with a compromise, but since he is unwilling to compromise, she should get the final say. This baby is gonna irrevocably change her body for the rest of her life. The day he takes on half the labour pains and the months of exhaustion and morning sickness and the physical damage to her body and the years of breastfeeding is the day his vote counts for half.

[@DemonicGoddess]

Op all you gotta do is ask how he would feel of a Ex name of a BF. Either he gets it or he doesnt either way cant wait for "husband loves the kid more then me and probably wants to bone it" Edit : didnt finish the story and laughed when i called the BF part.

[@sunnykitten815]

Markee i didn't get the notification on this video and i have it set up for all notifications

[@Markee]

Yeah I’m not sure what’s going on 👀 I even looked at my channel before and from my POV there was 1-2 missing videos

[@Markee]

I’ll put it down to KZbin just being weird

[@sunnykitten815]

@@Markee ok firstly thank you and secondly OMG! MARKEE ANSWERED! Yesterday you uploaded and I told my hubby MARKEE UPLOADED! GUESS WHAT WE ARE LISTENING TO ON THE WAY HOME! And he said him again and laughed.

[@Markee]

Hahaha that’s amazing 🤠 glad you like the videos so much you’ll share them with hubby 😂 tell him I said hi

[@UniquaDaBackyardigan]

Thats not an explanation of why she thinks shes "the asshole". She really just gave us the TLDR. Either this is fake or OP is weak asking strangers if shes wrong for something thats a no brainer.

[@lalalachris]

Why would you marry and breed with somebody who doesn’t believe you? What’s next? It’s a huge red flag of not being respected as a person. He cared more about mommy dearest. That’s not a spouse, that’s a momma’s boy.

[@saiyan4414]

story1 that was her fake name, so what was the real name? I go by my middle name or a short version of it. Also if they don't agree on it then pick a different name.

[@bridgetdebourgh5698]

Hey Markee 👋 Have a good night and a wonderful weekend 👍🤗 Have a great day/night everyone and a great weekend 👋🤗

[@Emi_TheWinged]

She has a husband problem not a name for the baby problem. Her MIL was literally abusive to her and manipulative and he doen't give a fuck, at all, this is a bigger problem than it seems, what other aspects of their relationship is he like that? Does he dissmis her pain, her work, her feelings(yes)? This needs to be resolved NOW.

[@DisneyChar]

S1 nta, allowing the middle, makes it reasonable, beyond that therapy then when he refuses divorce and he can never make a decision on his own about the baby. Update the amount of effort it took for you to kinda get a win.... at least mildred is dead, but you're still married to her worshipper S2 nta. Just tell dad how you were raised, it sounds like he thought she raised you and she's using that to reunite.

[@marlinfrank1362]

5:16 Amelia? Really. Really? That's a compromise? That name sounds just as old as Mildred!!!

[@spikesgirl9371]

There's a huge difference between those two names. Just like there are good names and bad names. Amelia is up there with Victoria, Catherine, and even Rose. Mildred is a lost name for good reason.

[@mindyschocolate]

That’s a much cuter name though.

[@squirrel670]

I know people still being named Amelia, it's much more popular and adored and I've never heard it as a joke for an old person's name, which says a lot.

[@jessilynallendilla5014]

wasn't there a different post where OP was against his wife naming their daughter Mildred she did anyway and he never grew to like it later kids at school upset her by saying it was a grandmother's name and wife got on OP for telling his daughter he never liked it people should really discuss kids names before you're about to give birth

[@helletenbrix9614]

When the baby's family name is gonna be the father's, then the mother should have the final word for the first name. Or take her family name for the child, if the father insists on choosing the first name.

[@ruthsaunders9507]

Both parents should agree on the names. The names shouldn't be a power play

[@alg94]

my opinion is probably unpopular, but I think that if the baby has the fathers last name then the mother should have the ultimate say on the first name. the father's side is already covered with the last name so if the mom vetos the dads name choice tough titties sir she's the one who is sacrificing her body for nine months

[@xevilgothgirlx]

1. nta. i like teh names mildred and millie, but that’s not teh point. teh point is that op doesn’t want to name her daughter that, AND that mildred was a huge bitch to her and her husband is refusing to support her or even believe her about that. 2. nta. op’s biological parents were never parents to him. his grandparents were instead, and op isn’t obligated to live with his biological parents now.

[@kiraalexandraruizburgos1236]

🦐

[@priam2882]

I dont mildred was as mean as OP is saying, they gave no real examples and she said the get bullied for having an old lady name first if OP felt Mildred was truly cruel to her she wouldve only mentioned that or at least mentioned it first. All in all the name of a child is both parents job and something both need to agree on

[@DrgnLdyLizzie2001]

According to my husband, I slammed my hormonal foot down at about seven months and said, "Her name is Abbey, damn it!" He paused, absorbed, and said, "Fine, but I get her middle name!" I agreed and that's how our youngest got her name.

[@ladyv5655]

The husband's ex gf confirmed that Mildred was that mean. Dying doesn't change a pos into a saint. It just makes him/her into a dead pos.

[@squirrel670]

She told the husband and he never believed her and she had to find an ex girlfriend to confirm how mean she was. She probably didn't list examples because it was the name issue that was current.

[@brandygiovinazzi3460]

👋👋👋👋👋👋👋👋👋👋👋👋👋👋

[@MakiPcr]

Story 2 commentors are too harsh on the bio dad, he clearly made mistakes but he was very young and seems to be trying to improve now

[@ruthsaunders9507]

#1. She never went into detail about how her MIL was "abusive". That context would be very important. He's NTA and neither is she. Names can be tough to agree on when people are so set on their own way.

[@DisneyChar]

Making your pregnant wife track down your ex just to admit your mom wasn't an angel, feels like an AH move

[@ScragsP22]

Reddit commenters are so over the top and dramatic. They’re also extremely hypocritical. If OP (the woman) was grieving a very close loss they’d be giving her behavior every excuse possible for wanting to name her child after her much loved mother who was a little rude a few times in private to her husband. To be calling OP’s dead MIL her abuser is ridiculous. She never said anything more than she wasn’t very nice to her when others weren’t around. Maybe OP is a stuck up witch who is obnoxious and exhausting to be around. It’s so weird how they never seem to grasp that no one has to like every person. Some people just don’t mesh well. Either way, there is a better way to handle disagreements fairly.

[@videofan1010]

The man's mother was an ass... Exhibit "A" she tracked down an ex who felt the exact same way about his mother. Guarantee, regardless of personality, that woman treated all of the man's girlfriends the same. Especially since she waited for everyone else to leave...

[@squirrel670]

​@@videofan1010and that's a huge confirmation that he's a momma's boy and those stories follow the same tracks deeply. How can you have a spouse willing to not believe you? Op should've gotten out because these women can never compete or be important enough to come first.

[@ScragsP22]

Say what you will about old fashioned values but for the most part they worked. Yes, some women felt stifled and unfulfilled. However the psychotic over correction to fix that is what has created our current reality of tons of motherless/fatherless children all over and drug addicts/criminals running rampant in our streets. The grandparents did the right thing and a great job. The “mother” needs to be left to live in the world of consequences she created with her bad choices and self serving lifestyle.

[@squirrel670]

Imagine saying that cause some people are trash. In every category, there are trashy people, the last woman sounded like she had a twisted personality that wasn't a natural consequence. The first husband in the post was awful, but not a reason to say all men want to sleep with their moms and the reason the world is going to hell.