My Husband Looks at Other Women | Q&A | Marriage Help | Dave and Ashley Willis

In this exclusive Q&A, Dave and Ashley Willis share what to do when your spouse has wandering eyes and how to guard your heart.
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[@kimsavage7029]

THANK YOU A BAJILLION TIMES FOR NOT EXCUSING THE MAN, SAYING THAT'S JUST THE WAY HE WAS MADE!!!! Huge respect for the way you addressed this question. Totally agree. Too many "Christian" pastors etc...tell us women its just something we have to deal with bc God made men more visual. NO!! NOT TRUE. This is very encouraging. We have to respect each other. Women want respect too!

[@kevinwelsh7490]

provide what your man needs and problem solved. do you?

[@jujulepew]

You want men to put the efforts and understand your God given female' s mind while rejecting the proven fact that God created men as visual creatures. Are you denying God' s work, laws of nature, simple biology?

[@kimsavage7029]

Women are visual too. The Bible teaches to submit to one another, not just one to the other. If a man, or woman. Is not first submitted to God, and following the Spirit instead of the flesh....it doesn't matter how well they're "taken care of" by their spouse. It's an individual relationship and responsibility.

[@kevinwelsh7490]

@@kimsavage7029 so it's a covenant, that makes sense...

[@ambersandor71]

It shouldn't be hard to focus on someone that you say you love....if you have to force yourself to not look at others, then you must not really be attracted to your spouse. If I looked right, he wouldn't need to look...🥺

[@rickinahmata]

True!

[@thecrazy721]

This is not a MAN thing. This is a sim thing. When you learn how awful it is to think about your spouse doing the same thing to you , you will stop 🛑. Even Job said : I have made a commitment to the lord to never look at woman with lust

[@katiesanchez547]

Thank you for covering this topic.

[@dougtrishawimsatt6903]

Thank you for speaking into this topic ❤️

[@RandommomfromOntario]

Truth, love this message.

[@BritP.est.1989]

Thank you for such a concise message. You both spoke my mind with this.

[@celebratingeve6272]

Excellent word, thank you.

[@kevinwelsh7490]

it's men who do this. if a man is distracted by this he does not have control of his focus and it will cause him failure in facets of his life. you must overcome distractions or be a half-wit. you choose. don't let yourself become a deer in the headlights - just reflexively shift your gaze. it's not hard, and it's empowering.

[@princessdana2581]

Thank you for sharing!!

[@glendinaspence8110]

My husband always looking and staring at others women and am right there ,and am tired of it

[@NoonParaveeA]

I’m so sorry it is a horrible feeling like a knife slowly cut through your heart. I pray that he will come to realize how damaging and hurting this is to you. I pray that he will stop doing it.

[@mariasmith7338]

Leave him. This resentment will continue to build. You’ll never feel good about yourself with a man like this.

[@sfoster4874]

Love your recommendation to take your [wayward] thoughts captive and intentionally redirect them to right thoughts in order to honor your spouse and nurture your marriage and the loving sexual bond God gave couples in marriage. Keyword: Intentional. Very helpful. And for ladies, tool. God is the most important partner in your marriage. Proof: Try having a successful marriage without Him! Impossible!

[@glennthompson2170]

True and effective thanks5

[@anabangert6134]

Love you guys, but sorry, you didn't address the viewer's question from HER perspective. What should SHE do? Yes, agree, the spouse should stop lusting over another human being, BUT how does she address that issue with her husband?

[@la4828]

I would quote every little word He had said in this video. That's just what I did to my husband. Send it as an email, a text or write on a note if u arw not confident enough to say it to him out loud. Don't care whether it didn't come from me or not, bc in the end I got my feelings accross, and His message in the video summarised them clearly.

[@nancywheeler8359]

True but not effective having tried to talk this through my husband just told me he’s not going to stop and change, in the end I just broke up with him physically and emotionally but we live under the same roof 😢

[@krishnamurthy6439]

I have this problem plz tell the solution how to overcome

[@nicolewilson283]

Talk to him. State your standards and boundaries. If he doesn't take ownership and change then leave. That's cheating. You build your confidence by keeping autonomy, holding your values, self love and soothe, and walk in the promises of who GOD says you are in his word. You are God's daughter, a princess, even if your husband doesn't think so.

[@rickinahmata]

I needed to hear this.. thank you🥹

[@kassandrav504]

Ok great answer. But what about the other side. Im the spouse with the husband who has the constant wondering eye? What do i do?

[@JP-ll8iy]

Be petty and check out other hot men and openly comment on how attractive and good looking they are. If you know that your husband is insecure about something (height, belly, hair etc) and make compliments on the men that is with the women that he is staring at by saying, wow,you looking at the blondie with the tall delicious man? Or say, wow, that is one lustrous set of silver fox hair on that handsome man. Your guy will think twice about looking at other women. And when you comment, after you stare at the other man, look over at your hubby and Pause (as if you are contemplating on what you downsized to, he needs to see that expression on your face lol) and say, “anyway!”

[@kassandrav504]

@@JP-ll8iy Thank you for your reply but if I did what you suggest , not only am I dishonoring my husband and my marriage , I'm dishonoring God. One day I'll have to stand before God and I will not let this be something he has to address from my end. Again , thanks for the advice but I will have to decline 😊

[@johnsaviogonsalves]

Hey guys you are doing good to help us but I have seen that whenever there is a question for the opposite partner the answer is not given as per the requirement. Like here what we have to if our spouse has wandering eyes how and what we need to do? Not everyone at that stage where you can just go and tell what solution u gave. Hope you understand.

[@Laura-xi7dr]

Maybe try explaining to your spouse how it makes you feel when they look at someone else in that way. Let them know that your relationship comes first in your world, and you hope it does with them too. Also let them them know that you understand that forgiveness is essential in relationships, and that you are not trying to condemn them. But their soul is as vital to you as the marriage is, and you are willing to fight for both! The expectation is that if they have a true issue with this, they will seek professional help, and an accountability partner to assist with the daily stressful encounters. This is a battle for your loved ones soul. As long as they are willing to fight for it, don’t give up. No matter if it’s the woman or the man. No matter what the sin is. Lust, food, whatever. Tackle it together and invite the help from the Holy Spirit. ❤️

[@donnahoward4056]

My thought was the same. The question was not answered. I have been hurt by this behavior for 25 years. I love my husband and am committed to my marriage. I have expressed my feelings to him multiple times. He always denies his actions. I am a strong life long believer. He is at best a secular believer. There in lyes my problem.

[@Laura-xi7dr]

@@donnahoward4056 I am sorry for the pain you continue to experience. Let’s join together in praying that your husband recognizes what he has been lacking in his relationship with our Heavenly Father. I would be happy to stand with you in this prayer. Additionally, I will pray for a covering for you, and that Jesus places his healing balm across your wounded heart. Much love to you. 💕

[@donnahoward4056]

@@Laura-xi7dr thank you Laura!! You are very kind.

[@gerardrush1048]

Lets not forget wives do this as well and its hurtful to husbands also

[@mysticcove3392]

I'm from Java, Indonesia happily married for 10 years with my blonde blue eyes American husband. He is also very successful in his career (a Doctor). We live in Alaska. Disrespectful and uncomfortable to my husband's and I when white American women (not sure if they're married or not) flirt with him infront of me. I'm thankful my husband's is very loyal to me and he ignored them. I feel awful for him when this happens.

[@jewishbride5010]

I bind to hell my future, godly spouse to have wandering eyes to look at other women inappropriate, in accordance with matthew 18:9 and this word: "And if your eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life with one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into the fire of hell."

[@shannonshantz4030]

You did not answer the actual question.

[@donnaamatuccio4995]

What about when your husband is looking at dating sites

[@danalbi2021]

I just hope one day u guys start start talking about "christians married to unbelievers". Because in those cases u are totally on your own and...must of your advices dont work !!! You serve the Lord, you know His wisdom, justice, try to obey as much as possible etc... at the same time, your partner is a child of the serpent.... **I became a christian when I was already married.... My husband and I don't have a relation at all...no communication, no intimacy(he is just not interested and is super super dirty !!! showers 1 or 2 times a week, does not brushes his theeth, etc...),we have no spiritual, intelectual connection/no social contact, no same interests, etc... he pays the bills but that is all. We are just like roomates, not even friends. And is been like this almost 8 years. And I am sick of it. Is WORSE than being single !!! Anyways... I hope u read this message and start talking about those kind of couples. Blessings from Hamburg Germany.

[@brandibee7058]

Check out mort for tell marriage fitness he has podcast and free info as well as the program also 1 Peter 3

[@brandibee7058]

Praying for you that has to be absolutely horrid . I had a similar issue with the rejection no connection deal and possible affair or at least not sure but this program is helping save my marriage . Be blessing going to stay in prayer

[@dougbuchan5666]

So what if your wife doesn’t hug kiss or have sex for 35 years but I’m still here…

[@thecrazy721]

Ouch.

[@lionofjudah4114]

Bless you. Wives should not hold themselves from their husband. The Bible does say so. Her body is his and his body is hers. After a while come together and have intimacy. God created this. Your wife needs to realise how good you are and go to God. She is sinning against her marriage and God and you. It isn't right. All.women want intimacy from their husbands. It is how we feel loved and attractive and just cared for by our husband. I am sorry she behaves this way with you. Start doing things for her. Make her meals.. be romantic. Care for her beyond measures. See how she will then be with you. Watch the movie fireproof. It is a great story of a husband and wife a relationship without God. You will like it. Watch it with your wife. Or you watch it first and then do actions for her that show u love her and are really in love with her. She need to know this. Serve get and see how she will be.

[@danl981]

Talk about missing the ball in a strike zone .... If your man looks at another woman while he's with you there is so much more to that.....it does not mean that he is lusting over that woman nor does it mean that he is fantasizing about her. If he loves you it can be as simple as him thinking that's a really cute outfit man my girl would look amazing in that outfit. If you honestly think that your man is going to lust over a woman just because he looks at one, look inside your soul and if negative thoughts flow into your mind at that instant ask yourself what has happened in my mind that I would be so insecure about my partner. Talk to to them about it and tell them you know that they love you but for some reason it makes you feel the way it does. Letting those feelings of hatred into your own heart will just cause a rock slide of issues in your relationship. Are there men that do think that way sure just as there are women that think that way. But just because they look does not mean they want to have sex with that person or are lusting over them at all. Most of your stuff is good but I think this short clip really does a disservice to men, and you really should rework it.

[@Laura-xi7dr]

You are right. Not all “Looking” is evil. As I think they addressed in the video by stating that we all are made to recognize beauty. But what they are specifically referring to here is a lustful look. Everyone knows the difference… no need to try to explain.

[@danl981]

@@Laura-xi7dr There is a need to explain. Not everyone is as understanding on that level of thinking. Way to many people are extremely jealous and cannot stand any level of looking. The issue is that they did not acknowledge this nearly enough which just feed the jealous fire in some that read it. It was way to one sided.

[@sitka49]

@@Laura-xi7dr I hate tell you this but it didn't take more than a half second for your bf or spouse to notice you sexually in the beginning. When i first seen my gf / wife for the first time it didn't take more than .02 of a second for me in my mind to wonder how she would be in bed and now Ive been married for 37 years and i still look at her that way, but that said there are plenty of women I've seen that I have had that same thought in my mind, but it's what your action on that thought is what makes the difference, I've had plenty of times i could of cheated on my wife but I never did.

[@mrs.cordova8286]

Nope! My spouse would Stare Not Look. And even break his neck to fallow some of those woman. Lusting their bodies too. Or he turns more then one time to keep looking.

[@janenathan2676]

Are you jus looking at the outfit?? Ignoring boobs, thighs, belly, makeup and hair details?? Malls have plenty f outfits to look at but humor me bout the body you looking at. I ask this not to disrespect your thoughts but really understand what’s going on mens mind.