My Jealous Husband Destroyed Our Wedding Day Over A Lost Lover r/Relationships

[@maurer3d]

Story 1: I am near 100% sure OP's husband lied about their relationship. Sounds more like she broke up with him and he is still hungup on her, and only invited her to try and make her jealous. This is a supersizrd red flag.

[@pippo17173]

It's literally the truth to this point. This literally those stories on reddit about a guy or girl getting married to someone to try to get close to someone.

[@WhitneyDahlin]

‼️Oh yeah I do not believe for a second that Misha was hung up on him. Due to his nice guy Behavior at the end of the story I believe HE probably hit on HER and was hung up on HER in high school. And she friend zoned him and he decided to try another tactic. Him and OP had only been together for 2 years and they were having their wedding. So he must have proposed incredibly quickly. This is all just sending up huge red flags of niceguy obsessed with a girl and trying (and failing) to get a rise out of her. What a creep

[@amandaarcher7919]

And OP believed him because Misha was overweight and thus not lovable by anyone

[@rubymeaddle]

Idk, I think his mom would have told OP if they dated before.

[@ivy456]

Nah sometimes it's just an ego thing.

[@embluvya]

Story 1: after the abusive nice guy messages, I think he was obsessed with her. Misha was never hung up on him.

[@DisneyChar]

S2. She sounds like a manipulative abuser. Sister too. Update: how strong was the evidence and did she press charges on the ex? Run! Update2: called it, now you're the abuser, reach out to her ex and see if he's interested in a defamation case. Also have your home checked for cameras

[@jenniferhanses7064]

Story 2: NTA, obviously. Just have to say that I don't like how TWICE Jean came on to you when she knew you were inebriated aka when you don't have your wits about you, and you're technically incapable of consent. The second time she directly tracked you down knowing you were drunk and made you drunker, knowing also that you'd rejected her the first time. Just stay away from her, and hope all goes right.

[@pippo17173]

Jean learn something from her abusers and that is a scary thought. Still I can see some sympathy when she unfortunately picked a bad person without knowing. To bad the direction she is going is gonna be alone and forgotten.

[@dragonsparks6054]

Yeah, when it got to the second visit my stomach just dropped, like I get he's at least attracted to her, but that's just a roller coaster and a half of mixed emotions because if OP had been sober he'd reject her and it's just ugh. I hope someone can spell out to her how not okay that is in a way she can hear and heal with. Edit: And yup. Nope. Jean assaulted OP and I while I still hope she gets help, I am a lot less wishy-washy on my feelings on classifying this as pre-meditated assault. I am not a lawyer or any kind of degree in that, but she knew, she KNEW OP wasn't sober and sought him out anyways. Glad he's safer. Hope his new relationship works out.

[@paulinadeboer3604]

In this case i wonder why the relation was abusive. If Jean has the same Pattern of behavior in her previous relation. I then wonder who the abuser was she of her ex. Many abusers use the victem card, and they learn from their victems.

[@ToxicSunrise132]

Story 2: I think it was very mature of OP to move on when Jean shot him down. Way too many people continue to pine unhealthily after someone makes it abundantly clear they're not interested.

[@pippo17173]

Well in this case it's the opposite when Jean doesn't know when to move on and holy hell what a horrible woman she is.

[@kaitohkid7229]

Many women have a male harem and think of the men around them as proberty...

[@kaitohkid7229]

She thought he was an Orbiter. He wasn't.

[@silverstarmoon5802]

The first story, both op and Misha are truly the innocent one and the STBX husband didn't deserve this kind two women in his life or better yet, him in their life. But at least, op opened her eye and see immediately red flags and didn't waste of many years of being married to him. Also, no kid and extremely short marriage, the court of getting divorce will be very short and fast.

[@tamsel814]

Perhaps misha can help op find a better man, she seemingly did well for herself.

[@silverstarmoon5802]

@@tamsel814 ha, that be poetic justice. Misha dropped him and found herself an good man. Now, she can help op to find better man. That's will hurt op's stbx husband's ego because two women have dropped him like he is trash, which he is.

[@KCohere33]

She married a full on “Nice Guy”.

[@kaitohkid7229]

I would rather say she married a full on "AlphaMan wannabe" with the baby attire.

[@rubymeaddle]

@@kaitohkid7229 same thing

[@idkhithere6860]

@@kaitohkid7229 eww no

[@Callimo]

I just said this to myself, ahaha geezus. See, this is why y'all don't give these Nice Guys a chance. Shit like this will happen because they absolutely are not mature enough to respect other people, especially women.

[@toshi9742]

When she came onto a drunk OP (presuming she’s sober), I cringed hard. Like someone else said, if the roles were reversed I’m sure everyone would be telling him to press charges because not only was he in no position to give consent but she herself said she KNOWS that he doesn’t understand and is confused. Like… wtf!? I just hope he stays away from her (and possibly gets a restraining order seeing as she’s shown she will take advantage of him if given the chance).

[@astronautviolet153]

Story 1: Op divorce her ex husband because he's was lying and jealousy of Misha boyfriend . Chatting up women's on Instagram sexting getting ready to cheat on her.

[@NecroticMaster]

Story 2: "My ex-friend lied about me being an abuser! She must have learned this abusive behaviour from her ex-boyfriend who abused her!" My brother in Christ, what makes you think she was truthful about her past relationship after seeing first-hand how she lies? "She even had photos of the bruises" Slamming into a wall will give you bruises.

[@nvfury13]

So will punching or slapping yourself, knew too many people that turned out to have done that in school for sympathy over their “abusive” SO or parents. That type never changes either.

[@MrJpaynebb]

Let's say Jean was telling the truth. She still would pick up behaviors from her abuser on how to survive which includes sometimes learning to be a manipulator yourself to survive. Her using those same lessons to begin isolating OP would not be out of the realm. Now say she misrepresented the truth at best. It means she was a partner in that toxic relationship so she could have been giving as good as she got. What she need showing up on OP's door uninvited and now her actions seeking out LC to give her a "heads up" about OP come across as stalkerish. Jean's got too many red flags.

[@ioannisstrategos221]

@@jackchop1576 Can confirm. Started a relationship with this woman who put every ounce of responsibility on my shoulders, so every single failure of communication, of toxic dynamics, of her legitimate concerns could never be addressed with a discussion, it was merely "my fault" and it was "something she told me already." I don't doubt she told me before, but I don't think most people would mind clarifying if it were that important. One of the the things she told me was that all of her exes were awful people. Didn't even consider what the subtext of that was, but I am certain after all of this that I know where the common denominator lies.

[@nitareed4088]

@@MrJpaynebb Which is more rational?

[@kaitohkid7229]

That's what I thought from the beginning on and the story proved me right.

[@Alissandre_Iskander]

Story 1: ... OP.... HE TOLD YOU that he intentionally led this girl on... and you still married him? Girl... if this isn't "well, the tiger didn't eat *my* face, so it's fine." energy, idk what is😒 Edit: those message he sent to her... JUST AFTER HE MARRIED YOU!!! And the sexting with those other girls. Thank goodness you didn't let him waste anymore of your time and your life.

[@shadowkissed2370]

Story 1: Get an annulment immediately. He is a narcissist and he does not have his target/fix anymore. He is going to turn it on to you soon. I went through the same thing but I was stupid and did not realize it in time.

[@sciguy98]

Story 2: Anyone notice that she only ever made moves on OP when he was drunk?

[@charityquill4965]

I thought that possibly they were both inebriated in the first one, but when she Tracked him down and did it again, that sent up big ol red flags

[@JasperCatProductions]

Story 2 oh good grief! Don’t let this girl or your sister guilt you over this nonsense. Don’t be bullied into a relationship, it’s disgusting. Let her go, you can make better friends, your sister is being weird.

[@msredux]

If you are planning to go NC with someone who is after you and is stalking you, don't have sex with them ffs

[@md79melissa]

omg this was the exact thing I said when I heard it lol

[@geekfreak315]

It seems some of you didn't hear the part where he was under the influence. I swear yall need to work on your comprehension skills🙄

[@blaiktrout376]

Story 2: don’t explore it. It’s not his fault that he’s not interested anymore. Feelings change and people change.

[@ondank]

Story 2 : OP is a genuinely decent guy who went for it, fell and dusted himself off and became a genuine friend. He is perfectly entitled to reject her for any reason he likes. And he is definitely sensible for saying it's not happening when she has just got out of an abusive relationship. Imagine OP had been holding a candle for her, for three years. That would have been a massive red flag. Also, mocking the exes of someone you are about to hit on is genuinely a terrible look.

[@nitareed4088]

I think the OP was already crushing on someone else...that's why he was able to resist Jean. Should have just said so.

[@lkayh]

I’m starting to wonder about Jean’s relationship with that other guy. She’s willing to lie about OP, so why not the previous boyfriend? As for the actual bruises, it’s not impossible she got them another way or even injured herself to gain sympathy. She sounds potentially that pathological.

[@fufufuaru]

aw the final update was only a few days ago. Really curious how it ends up. Hopefully things won't get worse for OP and his gf.

[@PinkMarshmallows]

Story 2: *QUIT THINKING WITH YOU DIC, OP* Good Lord! 🤦‍♀ Edit: Also, how do we know that SHE wasn't the abuser and her ex finally got away from her? By how she's acting, I'm gonna say that she was the abuser.

[@comajuice]

S2. The irony of them complaining about Jean being manipulated into a relationship... And using that to manipulate OP into a relationship

[@XxTayC94xX]

Story 1 makes me think of my high school ex's best friend. She didn't like me and broke us up because she wanted him to stay single and available for her to toy with whenever she was between boyfriends but never wanted him. Poor OP.

[@princesssunshine874]

I have to say this as someone who had dated directly after an abusive relationship... Just don't do it. That person needs time for healing. It can be easy to fall into a relationship after dating a monster because being treated like a person again can feel amazing. OP is right for not dating this girl. She wants to be loved right now and there is a good chance once she starts healing the rose colored glasses will fall, and she will realize she needs time to her self to recover. She is obviously very upset and probably taking her pain out on you after the rejection.

[@nitareed4088]

We only know it was "abusive" because Jean said so. Haven't we learned that Jean's not that reliable? Look at the nonsense she fed OP's sister and LC.

[@tiryaclearsong421]

@@nitareed4088 She could be unreliable because of abuse as well. It really can make you a self centered person in the aftermath because your world is so shaken and you are so desperate that empathy and seeing others as full humans is difficult or out of reach. Recovering is rough and if that is what Jean is going through, she isn't getting better while obsessing about OP. She's postponing recovery to try and force him to be a pawn in her fantasies so she can get some relief from the pain. To recover you really have to go through the pain. The loss of the relationship. The loss of your idea of who your ex was. Accepting it happened. The shame that comes with that. The loneliness. The broken relationships with friends and family. Triggers setting you off in public and feeling embarrassed. Feeling like life is suddenly harder without adrenaline and chaos fueling you through the days. Being unable to sleep. It's a lot. New relationships can be a drug that dulls the pain a bit but nothing makes it better save time and facing the world as it is.

[@nitareed4088]

@@tiryaclearsong421 Or she could have been the abuser all along?

[@SCUBASUEReynard]

Wow at the end I wonder if Jean was like this in her abusive relationship. They might have been abusing each other. I have never seen a survivor of abuse so fixated on a friend. And stalking him, successfully on social media. To the point where she may have been following him. He told her NO ! And No means NO! She needs help. But not from him.I don’t know what that woman dose for work but she could ruin OPs life. Just because she cannot have him. He needs to lawyer up, and keep her out of his life.

[@dorianleakey]

I think the second story, the replies ignored that the OP DID have feelings for Jean, he just wouldn't want to let himself love someone that doesn't really really love him. He even said he was probably saying no because she said no, yet people say it's crazy she thought that.

[@paolagutierrez2568]

I wonder if Jean is following the CFO or tracking his phone. It is creepy that she knows where he is and with whom.

[@SilverstreamPJ28]

Did this man seriously expect his HIGH SCHOOL crush to still like him literally almost a decade later? Lolololololol

[@wyvern723]

I had a friend who ended up in an abusive relationship, and they learned a bunch of really mean habits in order to survive. It destroyed out friendship.

[@samx36]

I just had to hear the title and knew that this OP needed to annul this marriage as sooooon as they knew this happened their damn wedding!!!!

[@Caydeeboi]

You know it’s a good day when Markee uploads 2 videos in one day.

[@JMac7395]

Story 2: Ever wonder why people say "men think with their 2nd head" ? Because of dumb actions like what OP did. OP stated he should stay away from Jean. OP's sister agreed that he should stay away from Jean. OP stated multiple times that he has no interest in Jean. But what does OP do....invite Jean in the moment she knocks & sleeps with her smh.

[@imgohansdad4956]

He was drunk

[@Center-For-I.E.D.Mismanagement]

​@@imgohansdad4956 He kept interacting with her while sober *before* that point.

[@HodajuciParadoks]

1. I do not think that he did not want her and was stinging her alone...more like she did not want him and he lied so he could not look like a loser. Many men do this once you turn them down or break up.

[@HodajuciParadoks]

2. With the update...what the psycho ...it looks like she was the abuser. I would cut all contact. She is not normal or even close to it. Normal person moves on when you hear - not interested.

[@chaos4654]

Story 1: I get the feel that OP's (most certainly by now) Ex-Husband was a narcissist.

[@hothotheat3000]

He liked Misha pining after him and the idea of her moving on with someone else is making hubby feel less than. That’s why he’s pissed.

[@cynthiaturcotte9280]

Story 2: It's awful that Jean went through all that w/ her abusive now-ex, but what she's doing? Getting pissy and basically saying that if he doesn't feel the same way about her that she does about him that she'll never see him again? Especially in light of the fact that he still stayed her friend when she rejected him the first go-round? That smacks of emotional manipulation - guess she learned that from her ex.

[@ReederAnonymous]

Story 2: OP must also take responsibility for, twice now, letting Jean kiss them and then going "Listen, I only like you as a friend..." And the second time they slept with them? Guy needs to learn to prevent these things instead of reacting after-the-fact.

[@imgohansdad4956]

He was drunk

[@ReederAnonymous]

@@imgohansdad4956 drunk doesnt mean helpless, and if they are so vulnerable when drunk that they allow themselves to be sexually assaulted then thats a whole other issue

[@kimberlycarrigan8824]

What and AH! He slept with her knowing how she felt. Of course she's an AH too for even showing up.

[@matthews2122]

It seems like the last post that the friend wasn’t telling the whole story with her toxic relationship, and that that guy wasn’t the only abuser in the relationship. You don’t go from being a good healthy partner to a gaslighting manipulative abuser that quickly if you were even remotely healthy to start.

[@seilamano3974]

Gotta love the duality of reddit. "Don't listen to these people saying divorce." "You must divorce him NOW"

[@seilamano3974]

@Trisha Murray I might be crazy, but I can swear I headed him chuckle at that

[@Mama_Bear_of_3]

I sure hope in the last story that OP wore protection when he had sex with Jean. Because if he didn't her next step is going to be show it up on doorstep claim me to be pregnant

[@md79melissa]

even if he did wear protection I can still see her showing up claiming to be with child if she's not I can see her claiming she lost the baby I know girls like her

[@cy5669]

That last story was pretty scary. I hope he is ok

[@jessicawolfe5861]

The thing about Jean, you really don't know who she is. You don't know about her previous relationship. You have already seen how manipulative she is with you. Her story about your rejection was so far off from reality. Saying you are her soul mate is really out there.

[@Ospyro3em]

Yikes, Jean needs serious help- her behaviour is unhinged

[@bridgetdebourgh5698]

Hey Markee enjoy your day/night 🤗 Have a great day/night everyone 👋🤗

[@drewthistlethwaite8909]

Story 2: yeah my brain starts deleting any feelings if it’s not reciprocated and made clear. My brain can’t like people who don’t like me baxk the same way romantically.

[@dmb25108]

Story 2: op was Jean’s backup plan the whole time, no matter what Jean says.

[@FreijaVanir]

Story 2, how naive can OP even be? The other boyfriend was likely not abusive at all, and she made it up. Just like she made it up about him. She is more likely to have been the abuser in that relationship.

[@Joirish-rm7jk]

I sincerely hope story 1 OP seeks mental help soon because this can and has often caused many different kinds of psychological problems (i.e self esteem, social anxiety, and depression)

[@elizabethdrew2421]

If you marry someone after only 2 years, then you are looking for trouble. It's not something you rush, or you will face fallout when you realize you never really knew them.

[@springs9922]

second story should be on r/nicegirls

[@hdeodh]

S1: OP ignored the red flags so this is the result.

[@MyUniqueBeauty]

Story 1: Op's husband is so pathetic and his friend and all the other women he DM'd knows it.

[@DeeL-u1c]

Story 2: Did he even have anything more than infatuation if her denial turned his "love" of like a faucet? Yeah, therapy dude. Something isn't right there emotionally for you. Good luck.

[@jameswatson9338]

Story 2: Nah, there's nothing from the first part of the story that made the second part inevitable. There's no universal rule to be derived from this. It's completely possible to not want to be in a relationship at one point in your life and to change your mind two months later. And, after several years of getting to know someone better, it's also possible for your feelings toward that person to change. I think Jean was fine until she failed to accept OP's rejection and continue as friends. Yes, she turned out to suck, but rejecting him, dating someone else, and then wanting him YEARS later is actually not, by itself, a mark of evil. Feelings can and do change over time.

[@cornbread12987]

Story 2 dude f-ed up hard

[@LittleImpaler]

What is with Reddit telling you to invade someone else's property? This guy seems to have low self esteem. Mad that Misha found a guy that's is quality. That he has a beautiful woman.

[@drkatbun8566]

Kinda sad that in the last one Jean was manipulated and abused into a relationship and now she’s trying to do the same to op, like damn that’s a cycle of it. And yeah if little sis is not the one sending info to Jane how the hell did she find out. Op needs to check for cameras or spyware. Also maybe I’m ready too much into it, but didn’t ops new lady crush rejected him the same way Jane did, like maybe op finally grew up but like bro that was the same rejection Jane did, and yet he tried it again months later (like Jane did). Feelings are weird and it’s rare for people to have the same level of feelings for each other in a new relationship, like one may had them for longer or more intensely, doesn’t mean one is more important than the other, so while you might be Gaga over someone, that doesn’t mean they will have that same level of energy towards you.

[@srsh12345]

Story 1: After learning he messed with Misha for YEARS then she decided it's no biggie and married him anyway. Now she is surprised that he's also an AH to her.

[@md79melissa]

story 2 it kinda felt like blackmail that if they can't date then they can't ever see each other again

[@muhname6052]

Story2, it's hard to feel bad for OP people told him to stay away from her but did he listen? No.

[@shells500tutubo]

Last story- Op is not very bright and doesn't seem to learn from experience. It is clear he has a problem with alcohol, since he cannot seem to control himself even a little bit when he drinks. This woman he claims to have no feelings for can get him into bed to have sex twice? He is lying to himself and he needs to stop drinking alcohol unless there is someone reliable who can look out for him. But the other issue that I haven't seen in the comments is that Jean claims that LD was abusive. No, LD realized how crazy Jean was and dumped her. Too bad Op never asked LD about his time with Jean.

[@gailwarnock2764]

Makes you wonder weather her ex was the abuser ? Just remember what Amber Heard did to JD she inflicted bruises on herself and got bruised when she attacked him . I thought when that girl not long after she split with her ex told OB that she loved him my alarm bells went off she has the potential to become a stalker he needs to consult a lawyer asap .

[@mweathers79]

S2: I think this is the result of a woman wanting to BE married more than wanting to marry the RIGHT guy. I just don’t see how all these red flags were missed over the last 2.5 years.

[@kimberlycarrigan8824]

It's not a woman's job to show a man where he's wrong.

[@riverjbleu]

Okay.. story 2, I agree with OP and he isn’t in the wrong but he should never have slept with Jean

[@97scarletwitch]

Ugh, WTF? This guy doesn't have feelings for her, knows she loves him, and he feels nothing for her, yet went ahead and slept with her. He's the A-hole.

[@imgohansdad4956]

He was drunk. Like unable to consent

[@pippo17173]

Is anyone really surprised that he was cheating threw out their relationship?

[@kanelovec4315]

S1. Why invite someone who everyone knew had a crush on the groom. Plus why did everyone let this man string someone along so long. This is a red flag of him cheating or narcissist using someone. Maybe she wasn't the pick me girl but it was him. He wanted to make her break down or chase him until he throw her a bone

[@anneduggan1014]

Just keep in mind, if you, yet again have a change of heart…..you may have lost your chance!!!!!

[@SCUBASUEReynard]

Dude leave the abused woman alone. Jean needs to decompress from her relationship. She needs to find herself. All the while she was being hurt she thought you be fall back guy. But she dose not want to wait and settle her feelings. You can not save her from her pain. Or from how she lived her bad relationship with out telling anyone. But you know secretly she knew in her heart good old boy would save her. If you did start dating it would be short lived until she found someone better. Just like the last time. You would alway be the crutch.

[@immortalsofar5314]

Last story: As a Brit who lived for 25 years on the West Coast (completely different culture to the East), all I can say is what I said to GF's BFF's conservative father when her right-wing partner turned out to be abusive - there are worse things than being a dirty hippy!

[@BW022]

Story 1: Why did you marry a guy with known mental health issues after only a few years? Why did you not have an open phone policy long before you married?

[@harleykelevra515]

Sorry 2 sooo he knew he wasn’t into her but he still slept with her…

[@embluvya]

Story 2: you lost the high ground of 'not having feelings' for her and only seeing her as a friend when you slept with her. You know you have no intentions of dating her. You're playing with her emotions and that's not what friends do. Make some distance and stick to it.

[@SonicMaster211]

He was drunk. Usually drunk people like to bang and it takes a lot of will to resist. Let's refocus on the fact she KNEW OP was drunk, KNEW he came back home, and KNEW OP didn't want this. She low-key raped him. Stop coming up with "haha!!! Caught you!" Shit , when it isn't there.

[@kiraalexandraruizburgos1236]

🦐

[@fireballrosenquist207]

Meow

[@alexius23]

🦘🦘🦘🧙🏻‍♂

[@Frazzled_Chameleon]

It never fails to amaze me how STUPID men can be. "Sorry, Jean. I don't have feelings for you. Let's be friends." Then in the same breath say "Yeah, she came over last night and we spent the night together, but then I told her we're just friends and said we're going no contact from now on" What the hell is Jean supposed to think? In her mind, when you slept together, it meant that you DID have feelings for her. She felt used by you. She was pouring her heart out and then you used her and dumped her like hot garbage. Unbelievable. He WASN'T the AH until he did that. Then he fully became the AH. What Jean is doing is not right, but she is rightfully pissed off and wants to hurt him as much as he has hurt her.

[@TiBunCosplay]

He was under the influence of alcohol. She took advantage of that and expected it to change how he feels when sober. No surprise, he woke up thinking he'd made a drunken mistake. He told her as much and asked for space. It was dubious consent at best. He's a victim here, not the AH.

[@breakback9]

Yes OP is STUPID for still sleeping with her when he already told her he didn’t want her but Jean is still the number one idiot for throwing herself naked at someone that already said he didn’t want her. If someone isn’t interested in me I’d definitely not have sex with them to ‘make’ them change their mind because sex doesn’t change how a person feels about you. Jean put herself in a spot be used and yes OP is stupid for thinking with his stick but they never learn until a JEAN teaches them and Jeans just never learn.