MY MENTAL HEALTH JOURNEY 🧠 BPD, Depression & Anxiety

TW: This video contains sensitive topics like self-harm and suicidal thoughts.
28 years of life. 28 years of consciousness. 28 years of mental health struggles. Today I wanted to share my mental health journey, in the hopes that it may help others out there who are struggling.
I talk about my childhood, my chaotic relationships, my struggles with suicidal ideation, self-harm, depression, anxiety, feelings of emptiness and of course, my Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) diagnosis.
I also talk about the steps I took to finally address my diagnosis, including seeing numerous psychologists, taking anti-depressants, undergoing Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) and Dialectical Behaviour Therapy.
It's hard to sum up 28 years of my mental health story in a succinct way, and as I was editing this video I realised that there's still so many things I want to say, and so many key moments I haven't explained. But I'm sure this will be an ongoing conversation that I have with people throughout life.
I'm always open to answering any questions you might have regarding mental health, so if there's anything you want my thoughts on, please leave them in the comments below!
And please feel free to share your story too.
We're all in this crazy journey together
💜
Oh also, this song always helps me feel better:
BTS - Magic Shop: • Video
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🧏🏻‍♀️ HI, I'M LEONIE
Just a girl from Sydney, Australia that likes to document life's little mysteries. I make videos about languages, lifestyle, mental health and wellbeing, productivity and BTS (방탄소년단). Essentially, just trying to live my best life and sharing my learnings with the universe.

[@monologodejess8296]

I don't think finding something that makes you feel happy is a bad thing. You worked so hard with yourself, you always knew something was wrong and needed to be treated, you always, deep down, had hope in yourself. That's what matters. You are such a wonderful person, you are a strong woman. And I wish you nothing but hapiness. Ever since I discovered *you* I felt really connected to your personality and now that I've heard your story it makes me realize I was happy to feel you happy because we enjoy doing similar things. It was like watching a friend do something with me. Thank you for trusting us and giving us some insight in what is life for someone with struggles in mental health. Thank you for bringing joy Leonie. But more than anything, thank you for being here💖

[@LeonieSii]

Thanks for coming along on the journey 💜

[@monologodejess8296]

@@LeonieSii thank you for having us💖

[@StephenSE9]

Wow, Leonie. That was brilliant. I hope you found it cathartic afterwards. I've been following your journey since 2017, at first from a technical point of view and then into other areas of your life. I'm an old man in his 50s and turned to KZbin for solace after my father passed away, and I was very close to him. Watching KZbinrs carried me through a new and unwanted chapter of my life and I'm happy you and I are still here, carrying on.

[@wowwee0]

Omg I relate to almost every single point. I'm trying to get an assessment. Thank you for sharing your story.

[@joannaw9793]

Hello from a fellow ARMY! ❤️ Thank you for sharing your story, looking forward to hearing your future chapters. 😊

[@21princemichael]

I went from suicidal and homeless & reckless to an MD degree and new life. Yes it was hard, defeating BPD was NOT easy and took time and learning BUT CAN BE DEFEATED. U can do it

[@xoxobutterfly]

How did you do it?

[@mochagirl6309]

Are you still homeless?

[@danieljoesphlivelife6884]

Help Me I'm struggling

[@McG_NJ]

Just a random message from stranger of hope, and encouragement.

[@LeonieSii]

Thanks 💜

[@maxitaxiish]

Wow so courageous! You are helping a lot of people! Well done 😊

[@rissa_j]

Thank you Leonie for sharing your story. I work with teens struggling with a variety of mental health issues and some days I just want to ask deeper questions similar to what you shared to better understand how to help them, but since I'm not in a counselor role I'm not sure the questions would be helpful or appropriate. I too became an ARMY last year and they possess healing power for most people. Outside of their obvious talent, I think it's just their personalities and openness, even with their own emotional struggles, that help to push through the difficult days. I'm sure they would be touched to learn how they've helped you. 💜💜💜

[@eugyh4686]

Hi Leonie, words can't express how happy I am to listen to this video. (I don't mean it as in I feel happiness from hearing about the dark side of this mental health journey). I found it very cathartic, in a way, maybe because I find myself relating to parts of your story, maybe because I remember watching you for years and anxiously wondering what was happening when you stopped posting on KZbin for a while. I don't know if you remember, but I sent you a Snapchat message in 2016 -- back when I was going through something myself. And hearing this, and hearing about your journey, fills me with a lot of happy emotions. Thank you for sharing! Sending you my love and support.

[@whatevergeridoes]

This is such an unbelievable thing to reveal about yourself and someone will watch this and be completely changed and hopeful. I’m already hopeful. Mikrokosmos is my go-to song. Thank you 아미 💜😇.

[@LeonieSii]

yay! shine, dream smile 💜

[@whatevergeridoes]

@@LeonieSii 😇

[@anonima7748]

Well, I have to say that abuse from bpds indeed does exist. As a person suffering from depression and ocd, having horrific thoughts every single day that leave me feeling like I'm a monster, that stole from me many opportuinities in life because I'm not able to integrate myself in society because I'm scared of my mind, still I've been abused by a borderline, and that obviously worsened my mental (and physical) state. Though I believe that you might not be an abuser and certainly I believe that you suffer because of your condition, I also know that the entity of the disorder varies a lot between people that are affected, so that some people (actually a lot of real bpds) might have abusive tendencies, but they don't show them in relationships or they are able to cope with those intense feelings, I think that it's important for your community to know that there's still a possibility for people with this disorder (and I think that from my vast experience is the majority of cases of bpd cases) to shift between the abused and become the abuser (even if they haven't been abused in their childhood or teenage years, because that's often mainly an organic condition, and that has been the case with the person who abused me). That's important to make non-bpds know how you function because that allows non-bpd people to relate with them in an healthy way, how to help them, how to not justify them, or how to defend themselves if they're victim of abuse from them, not to engage in toxic reactions, but to prevent non-bpd people from developing traumas. That's because it's also in your (you as a collectivity, bpds) interest to learn how to manage your disorder, because being justified for your actions won't certainly help you getting better.

[@TheGatewayProductions]

Awesome video! They should teach the importance of mental health in schools. Nice work!

[@heart2heart-nhataihy117]

Thank you Leonie, thank you for sharing your journey.omg, I feel less isolated knowing that I'm not crazy and all alone.

[@LeonieSii]

You are so welcome. Sending my love to you! x

[@JayA-rx3hi]

Thank you for sharing your story

[@sunset33533]

The book "30 Days to Reduce Depression" by Harper Daniels is recommended. Gives good daily mindfulness exercises. Worth a try.

[@Thatbakingblondie]

Thank you for sharing, Ièm happy your doing better and I think its very brave of you to open up on KZbin. ❤

[@LeonieSii]

Thank you!

[@hammadkhanniazi7724]

موسم کو بھی میری خبر ہو شاید میری طرح وہ بھی آج ٹوٹ کے برسا

[@FrancisDamaris]

You are amazing and your story will impact people and help them. I love you, hugs from Perú ❤️

[@kasiapawowska9508]

Thank you for sharing your story I know it must have been hard but it helped me understand better some things and it sure will help others 💓 Hope you are getting better and better ❤️

[@bixby451]

I can relate so much... Thank you for sharing, Leonie. You're an amazing and strong person.

[@suatlianma4848]

Tq Leonie.u r such a beautiful n courageous lady!Great job from a good heart..bless u

[@tammygouge9725]

Thank you for sharing your story. I recently realized I also have BPD . I had the exact same thing when I read about BPD - realizing I had this. Did you get involved in any support groups ?

[@TherapyToThePoint]

It is admirable to share one's story and raise mental health awareness! 😊

[@thanandlovu5107]

I'm those friends are quotation marks now.. sending love ❤️

[@Bibleinformationandhelp]

Since you have borderline personality disorder, what can a person do to make peace with you? Like how can a person stay in a relationship with you? Do you understand what I mean? Can an individual be peaceful with someone with borderline personality disorder? Do you have any tips?

[@annikaminina7670]

Thanks for sharing your testimony 💖

[@zoevideoscrapbook]

♥️♥️♥️ Mixed race Asian with BPD I can relate 🖐️ sending you love

[@daniellemcclinton2995]

Thank you for this. ❤️

[@nicollesandiford5328]

Fellow BPD sufferer and BTS Stan ❤❤❤ sending you all the love x

[@tash2166]

Thank you for sharing

[@xoxobutterfly]

I'm so scared to get help 😫 I need help asap. I'm jobless I can't find a job 😔 I'm losing myself. I don't even know who I am anymore. I can't express myself to people so I turn all my frustration onto myself. I'm scared im going to lose this battle

[@brianmarshall3931]

I am sharing this with someone I still care about. Can only hope it helps her... She happens to be "Asian" - I am not. "Race" means absolutely nothing to me... She must deal with BPD - I must deal with several cluster "C" disorders... None of it is easy, but living in hell is worse...

[@CamelliaAngelicaDonald]

Thanks for sharing

[@Peace_2024.]

I read ' The book of Joy ' By Dalai Lama archbishop Desmond Tutu with Douglas Abrams. It made me happy and changed my perspective. love you.

[@LeonieSii]

I've been reading that one too!

[@estefaniatellez4067]

Wow thank you I feel like I’m not alone anymore and this is my second time going through depression and I feel like I have more opportunities to be and get well

[@kenzieweddall6731]

love it!

[@jimmey123XD]

BTS for you is like Eurovision for me 😅

[@LeonieSii]

Ahaha, Eurovision definitely brightens up my life as well 😬

[@Alzarmah]

at least you have friends,i dont have any friends to support me in the same country..

[@cloudcirrus]

❤️

[@yeshappynomad7510]

I'm adopted and I have a theory adoption and BPD have a correlation.

[@tonymills1003]

❤️👏🏻👏🏻

[@zikii9709]

Missed u leonie

[@LeonieSii]

💜

[@CamelliaAngelicaDonald]

Thanks 1st

[@CamelliaAngelicaDonald]

I am new here

[@Liparisloeselli]

BTS army💜

[@JayA-rx3hi]

Its like i see a female version of myself...

[@janechok7290]

♥️