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Like any kid in junior high, I found myself fumbling on a dating app called.. let’s say Bik. With it, one of the most beautiful girls I had ever seen in my life hit me up. She had these gorgeous plump lips and such seductive, charming eyes. You could say there was an instant attraction. I was black you see, so for me, being in a biracial couple really excited me.
Our online chats eventually became a daily routine and soon enough we had exchanged all our personal, dirty details. And, it really didn’t bother me that she was 3 years older than me, cause I was nearly 20. She always had a way of sussing out how I felt, making sure if I was upset with something that she was always there for me. She made jokes out of everything and could always put a smile on my face.
We talked on Bik through the end of my junior year and into summer. We had created such a strong bond and grown so close together that we felt comfortable enough to send pictures. Well, she did. She sent me photos of herself in a bra and panties - she didn’t have the perfect body but wow was her confidence attractive. She sent me pictures without any clothes on and very explicit videos. I would always ask myself why she was so comfortable with me, especially since her face was in quite a lot of the videos.
Bik automatically deletes conversations after 24 hours, but we still had the option to save photos and videos. Of course, I never did. I only ever saved screenshots of some of the sweet things she would say to me. But she was never satisfied with me just responding to her images, she wanted me to send photos too... even though I was extremely uncomfortable doing it. She pressured me a lot by saying “you’re beautiful; your body must be too” and I eventually fell for her praises, and decided to send her a photograph.
I put on a blue lace thong and bra, turned the camera to every angle to make sure I didn’t add any extra weight or blubber, and posed away. Once I was satisfied with the photos I clicked send and thought to myself "This isn't a big deal, is it? I mean it's just a bra and underwear pic"
but days went on and she began asking for more.. guilting me into sending her stuff. And if I didn't send it.. it meant I didn't care about her at all. Eventually, this behavior from her made me grow distant.. it made me feel uncomfortable.
One fateful day I didn't respond sooner to her because I was in class. It had only been 12 hours and I had received almost 50 texts from her with the final ones saying "oh you want to ignore me? well, I've exposed you now".
I was MORTIFIED. I couldn't stop panicking at the idea of strangers seeing my private pictures. Suddenly, I got a Facebook notification on my phone from a girl called 'Natalya'.. and she had all these private pictures of me.
Another classmate of mine also messaged me "I found you on a dirty site", I asked him "What's the website called?" "I'm not telling you, why would I ruin it for myself?" he said so smugly.
I couldn’t even respond, I felt so blindsided. My close friends reported the videos and the pictures to Facebook, and many of them inboxed “Natalya” how cruel it was to post my pictures and asked why would she do something like that.
I tried EVERYTHING to clean up the mess. I reported the pics and videos to Facebook, and they did take them down. But then, 30 minutes later, they’d be back up.
I even called the police and told them everything. They said to go to the precinct to file a report. It was so embarrassing to explain and show the pictures and videos -and one of the policemen that came to my house made it even worse.
“I thought there was a crisis,” he said. “There are people out there actually hurt.”
This nightmare is still going on a year later. It’s affected me in different ways - I’ve become more negative about my body and even my facial features. I dislike my skin tone because when I obsess about how this happened I ask myself, Did this person pick on me because I’m black? Or was I just too stupid to notice that she was playing me like a grand piano? She built up my ego, then messed it up.
It’s so frustrating not to know anything. I ask myself about everything - was this her plan before she hit me up on Bik? Who is she and what Natalya's goal? Why is this happening to me? I truly hope one day, that I'll find the solution to this and find my happiness again.
We chose this story because we want to encourage people to speak up if something similar has happened to them and to seek help if they're still in such a situation. We hope that it will encourage us all to do what we can to prevent these things from happening. Even if it does happen we want to encourage people to speak up for their own safety
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