My Parents DUMPED MY BABY BROTHER Into My Room For MONTHS r/Relationships

Relationship Reddit Stories, OP finds themselves trapped with their baby brother of 2 months in their room every single night for far longer than was agreed upon. This has a horrendous effect on their quality of sleep and mental health in general and causes them to lash out by moving the baby bed back into their parent's bedroom.
#redditupdate #redditrelationships #relationshipadvice

[@MyUniqueBeauty]

I am SOOOOO tired of hearing stories about these negligent ass parents forcing their children to take up a role as a pseudo parent.

[@sharonconnolly3820]

If dad is frustrating maybe he should finish the new room. Better situation for everyone.

[@katrinascarlet5637]

A friend I use to have had 4 siblings. She was the eldest so it was her fault that kid 4 made a mess, her fault that the kids didn't have dinner before her mom got home, her fault that kid 3 was having a screaming match with kid 2. We were in junior high mind you. My mom was very strict about respecting elders but even she didn't get reprimand me when I told that mom "Who did [kid 5's name] come out of? Why is she changing YOUR baby's diaper?" You know it's bad when the strict Latin mom doesn't correct her kid for mouthing off at an adult.

[@CatherineMcClain]

Parentification is a huge problem.

[@cassieloser2907]

Yep!! Parentification is a genuine form of abuse.... unless you (insert generic excuse) because then comfort trumps a child's emotional wellbeing

[@claudiaarjangi4914]

In the "old days" before universal schooling etc, this was how humans raised families.. How they had to, cos it takes a village to raise a child well.. As it was about everyone surviving not comfort.. Nowadays I think a lot of parents are still stuck with old ideas, not having learnt any different , or worse ( for parents & children ), being in situations where financial/ health survival relies on that help.. The problem with extremely capitalist countries/ countries with very wide gaps in incomes etc, that don't enforce human welfare first, like the US etc doesn't.. 🤔☮️🌏

[@tegantalks9612]

The roach story made me so mad. My sister’s apartment got infested with roaches (her and her roommate are super clean but the building she lived in got roaches) and when she moved into my old place she accidentally brought some with her, despite precautions taken to eliminate them. While we were moving into our new place and still staying at the old place, one some roaches that we thought had been killed managed to crawl out from their stuff and one crawled across my son’s face and traumatized him. Me and my husband were so upset by this we immediately went and got traps and did everything we could to make sure those suckers were gone we moved into our new place and had a few incidents here and there with the roaches but we keep traps out. I would never punish my child for bringing the roaches to my attention. Those parents suck and don’t deserve kids.

[@bcase5328]

I don't know another way OP could prove to her parents that it wasn't just one roach.

[@BCFBreakfastClubFan]

Roach traps really work the best (Combat is the best brand). I had them bad in my first apartment (gross neighbors), and the exterminators made them worse. We refused to let them come and used the traps and they were completely gone in just a couple of months, whereas the exterminator had been trying for much longer. Also, the OP was smashing the roaches, which is BAD. Never smash a roach, because when you do, they release all the eggs in their body, which then hatch. You have to pick them up with a paper towel or tissue, and the best way to dispose of them is to flush them down the toilet, tissue and all. You'll be surprised how quick they will be gone using just those two methods.

[@wannabeartist2023]

@@BCFBreakfastClubFan ah thanks for the tips i usly stump on spiders and Co when i panic so this will be helpful when i move out or when we have such problem

[@BCFBreakfastClubFan]

@@wannabeartist2023 YEs, we really learned our lesson. We fought the roaches for over a year, tried everything and they just got worse. We actually were going to move after a roach dropped off of a lamp and DOWN MY SHIRT while we were watching TV. Well, we came across someone who was an exterminator (in a social setting), and learned that some of them do stuff to make them worse and tell their customers that it takes a few rounds of extermination to get rid of them, and it gets worse before it gets better. That's bs. Just use the combat traps and make sure you never smash them, and you'll be ok. It took us one round of the combat traps-that's it! (Although we did have to get about three packages, though. WHatever, it was cheaper than one extermination appointment.)

[@janet6421]

OP did not use the nuclear option. Nuclear would be to call CPS. MOAB would be to put live roaches in parents' bed. This was cluster bomb at best.

[@coffeecat086]

Sorry, I don’t really think the kid in the first story is the asshole. He has school there is a huge difference between them, and whether or not they had him young, they’ve had 16 years to become better parents. If they knew they were going to have a kid they should’ve had things prepared ahead of time. The older brother is going to school, probably hast to study at night, or work since he is 16 and needs to be able to get rest. The parents chose to have a child, not the 16-year-old. They need to book up and be responsible. There’s a reason that babies crying every night like that. Somethings obviously not right. Most kids even at that age do not cry all night.

[@madarawijerathne276]

Even if he's not a kid nta.

[@LifeIsAHighwayIAmACarCrash]

I'm guessing their parents raised him for the first few years and they don't want the sleep deprivation part of having a baby. They thought "well, our parents didn't mind doing it for us. Maybe our teenager won't....". Selfish morons. Shouldn't be having kids....

[@yamairad1]

A baby that small should be in the parents room no matter what. So many things can happen that a parent needs to be close by. Add to the fact that a 2 month old eats every 2 hours the closer the parents are the quicker feeding is over. Poor baby is starving because mom is far away from baby. It's insane.

[@franhunne8929]

@@yamairad1 Well, they will not have a mansion, I doubt it takes the mom more than a couple of minutes to throw over some decent clothing. But they let the teenager down - the teenager is in a developmental stage where the brain gets "rewired". Takes a lot of energy and hence the teenager needs a lot of sleep. To put the baby in with the teenager is letting the older child down - and they also do act responsible for their own actions ..

[@yamairad1]

@@franhunne8929 I agree with everything about the teenager. It's not about them having a mansion. It's hard to explain unless you live it. Small babies eat a lot and they cannot skip meals. My baby NEVER cries. But he would cry bloody murder ar 2 am because he was starving. They can't hold their hunger. They have never felt hunger before. So trust me that baby is suffering unnecessarily because mom is willing to make them wait longer to feed them. Plus, the baby could die over anything. Hence, why they should be with mom and dad. What if the kid passes away in the teens bedroom and he doesn't notice cause he's asleep? They will resent the teen for them irresponsible. So, although I agree with the teen not deserving this, I'm more concerned with how they abandoned their baby. Either way we reach the same conclusion. The baby should be with the parents.

[@KE-hr4sb]

S1: "We're a family that handles stuff together." Then why is YOUR baby in your son's room? How is that handling stuff "together"? (Spoiler alert: It's not, it's shoving your responsibilities off on your son.) Not to mention, OP, didn't get a say in whether they decided to have another baby or not. Her reasoning is full of holes.

[@stuie6269]

Yeah, the parents suck! This story has me so flipping mad.

[@crafteuphoria3608]

For the OP in the wheel chair; my grandfather was in a wheel chair from the age 18 until he died in his 60s. He had a healthy social life. He helped out at home where he was able, even picked a huge harvest in green beans when grandma was very sick so they would not go to waste, dragging himself down the rows on mechanic’s creeper. He traveled/camped, hunted, went boating, fished and helped raise his two children and played with his multitude of niblings and grands, all from his chair. You can still have a very fulfilling life. NEVER let anyone tell you that you can’t.

[@emilybarclay8831]

Story one: if you can’t handle being sleep deprived, don’t have a baby. Dad had to wake up because he chose to create a baby that needs care at all hours of the night. That’s the contract you signed when you put a baby in your wife. Same for the mother. They had 16 years to learn how to be parents and yet they chose not to

[@franhunne8929]

Not only do they want to shed their own responsibility for their baby, they also harm their teenager. The teenager is at an age where the brain gets newly wired (figuratively speaking) - and that happens in sleep and takes up a lot of energy. It also changes their sleeping pattern. You do not harm your older child just because you are fed up with taking care of your younger. They fail both children here.

[@stuie6269]

@@franhunne8929 1000% agree!

[@wandahaines7143]

It's not the 16 year old baby. He is the brother not the parent. The parents need to parent.

[@emilybarclay8831]

@@wandahaines7143 that’s exactly what I’m saying

[@minagica]

IKR!!!!

[@SK98765]

I still don't understand how a 50th birthday somehow beats a wedding. I get that she still should've returned the dress (not a wedding dress and it being the same as her fancy one would be a bit much unless you're all pretty casual and laid back). The way the family reacted is INSANE.

[@ectonyx]

i don't think their reaction was purely because of the wedding vs. birthday thing, i think it was more about how OP dismissed the mother's trauma and stated that she didn't care if people saw her MIL as pathetic, despite that being a major trigger for her PTSD and OP reportedly knowing this, while OP's husband didn't step in. i don't think it had anything to do with the dress really at all, and when framed like that their reaction is a little more understandable.

[@badateverything5392]

@@ectonyx I don't want to seem unsympathetic here. Still, it is the job of the person with the mental illness to regulate their own emotions or to evaluate why something is triggering so they can move past it (I have OCD and when someone does something that triggers me, it is my responsibility to regulate my anxiety/the behaviours that are caused by my mental illness). She had warning, she had time, and she had the ability to work out who is in the right. I think OP didn't think MIL would look pathetic (why would anyone think MIL is pathetic for wearing a coloured formal dress to her birthday?) and she was unaware of all of MIL's trauma. MIL has the problem, therefore MIL should fix the problem (or make accommodations for herself). MIL could have either bought another dress or had the first one modified (there is a lot you can do to make it look different) and instead, she put that energy into turning the family against her son. If the DIL has enough money to pay for a new dress, she should do so for the sake of peace, as she was the second person to get the dress. MIL and DIL are both pretty unreasonable here.

[@heartears]

​@@badateverything5392I don't think it's about her regulating at all. It's the rest of the family that is furious. Yes, people should self regulate. But once you've realised that you triggered someone's trauma, especially with someone you love, isn't the normal reaction is to say sorry and that you didn't mean it? Find a compromise. Their reaction instead was to tell her she's crazy, we don't care, and she's over reacting. If anyone did that to my mom, I'd be furious too.

[@ivyproductions7097]

@@heartearsAll she said was “That’s not my problem” I don’t think that’s calling someone crazy. It seemed from the story they blocked them both before they even responded. They went nuclear for what is a mildly rude thing to say.

[@sammieg8641]

@@heartearsmom is an adult and can’t fight her own battles… this could have been handled differently… I don’t think OP thought about the trauma or ptsd… she just saw it as a dress issue and nothing else… the mother should have reacted in a different way and sat down and explained but at the end of the day she had no right and nor does the family have a right to tell someone what they can and can’t wear on any day… this is again the Mils problem and everyone else should have stayed out of it and let the 2 women have a talk… either way… the dress is a different color and NO ONE would have noticed or give 2 sh!ts except the Mil…

[@heartbreakerninja]

The mom that lost her husband and had the baby didnt abandon her baby. She made sure he was safe and still visited. She obviously had post part-em depression. A lot of ladys with post type of depression have a hard time being around their babies. The sister is way out of line.

[@partysuvius]

Postpartum is the word you were looking for

[@heartbreakerninja]

@@partysuvius yes lol tried to get it to spell right and gave up lol

[@MsMookalate]

Exactly. Unlike her, I had to “suck it up.” I lost babies and had terrible baby blues to the point I literally cried for 24 hours straight. I couldn’t control my cries. The hurt and pain my kids father put me through I guess overtook me. Mental health is taboo especially in the blk community hence why a lot of crim35 and generational issues get untreated.

[@Jerseybytes2]

story 1: if OP's parents don't want to deal with a crying infant maybe they shouldn't have had the baby. and, I'm willing to bet that if op had a kid and tried to put the crib in his parents room that his parents would remind him it was his baby

[@strawberry5404]

nobody asked

[@iris5678]

Please note on the "handsome" story: Just because you're a dude and don't like the term handsome may not mean you're trans. You could be non-conforming or nonbinary or just don't like the term handsome.

[@CatherineMcClain]

"Handsome" can also be a high compliment for women.

[@Bala_Niranna]

@@CatherineMcClain most women would be pretty insulted by it though

[@GreebleClown]

@@CatherineMcClainNot unless we’re both in regency period clothing lol

[@livewellwitheds6885]

also feminine men do exist! being AMAB and femme doesn't automatically equate to being trans.

[@issecret1]

Oh, I'd love to be told I'm handsome, as a woman. I associate it with being beautiful in a statuesque way

[@wolfgirl6347]

Why did none of the Reddit comments point out that OP who had her appendix burst said that SADLY she survived??? How much has her mother beaten her down emotionally for her to wish she had DIED rather than continue living with them???

[@cheerio3847]

What kind of idiot puts a compost pile UP AGAINST A WALL OF THE HOUSE! They are supposed to be out in the open part, no buildings around for airflow.

[@cloiebuggeater]

If you have a baby, you are signing up to be sleep deprived 🤷‍♀️. My husband and I took shifts when our youngest was that little he went to bed super early, like 7 pm and I took the first shift til around 1 am and then he took over until he went to work at about 6:30 am. We were both sleep deprived,, but we at least both got a block of sleep. And she was in our room so she wouldn't disturb her older sibling. It's the parent's job and responsibility to care for their baby.

[@Krisna_K]

Seems like my parents had a bassinet in their room for my younger sisters until they were old enough to sleep through the night! But there was always a crib in my room and we all (eventually 4) shared a room with 2 of my sisters having bunk beds! We had the master bedroom! Then my mom moved into another room that wasn’t actually a bedroom but I got her room!

[@cloiebuggeater]

@@Krisna_K when my youngest out grew the bassinet, we switched her to her room. She slept better there than in our room, which was nice for everyone getting sleep, lol.

[@rollothecat2010]

Story 1: OP NTA. His parents are supposed to handle Leo. Not OP.

[@curtisfranzen986]

Disabled "babysitter" story. GOD, ARE YOU KIDDING ME????!!!! My BIL was disabled, (RIP Eric) for the exact same reason, car accident. He was a wonderful uncle to all nieces and nephews. The idea that disabled people are not functioning people is rediculous. I don't know how many times Eric found new ways of accomplishing tasks. Don't discount the disabled, and don't assume they are helpless, that's insulting.

[@lifewithlee6298]

First story it sounds like the parents are immature and wanted to get back at OP for waking them up when he was a baby so they’re punishing him by having the new baby in his room. Twisted

[@m0nkEz]

Sounds more like a midlife crisis provoked a spur of the moment decision to have a kid, to me.

[@pansprayers]

Sounds like you've either been writing shitty fan fic for too long, or you're projecting your own thoughts and behaviour. Pathetic.

[@beanieboogie9526]

The roach story is sad for the op. My past apartment got roaches from, well, I guess a 'neckbeard' is the best way to describe the guy. He got kicked out from the building and they had to basically gut his apartment from the damages and found he had infected the whole building. They hired an exterminator and the first guy that put out traps and sprayed along the base boards was nice but the second guy that came later for the *big* gas cleaning was picky as hell about what apartments he would *actually* work on. Not even half the apartments got worked on for something as small as a bowl forgotten in a drawer (everyone was given notice to empty everything for him) to the older and family residents not having everything ready yet and needing to just move a few small things; knives, medications, cleaning supplies, etc. Basically dangerous things you don't want a kids to bump into or find. If he saw something not 100% ready in his less then 5 minutes of looking around he would write off the whole apartment as 'next time' but there was no next time. The roaches came back and where in the walls of everyone again. Who could have *possibly* seen that happening with a half-assed job? (I assure you the sarcasm is there.)

[@pansprayers]

Guess what? The 'mean guy' was doing his job properly. None of your whinging is going to change the fact that you were told to do what you were told to go a reason, and he wasn't risking his livelihood, licence or freedom because you failed to follow prep instructions for a caustic gas to be administered to the letter. 'Get everything out' means exactly that, to avoid getting internal chemical burns later on because you ate out of that bowl, used that knife, touched those cleaning supplies after treatment. The 'big meanies' know that, if you can't follow basic instructions a two year old is capable of comprehending, then you're certainly not with it enough to understand that you screwed your own self over

[@GreebleClown]

@@pansprayersAgreed, he likely saved a few lives there

[@Shenn3165]

Babies know who love them, my nieces are 2 now, and the moment they see me they get this big smile that melts my heart!

[@marymasavage8986]

I had to grow up living with roaches and filth. Also, I was allergic to roaches and had asthma. Still am and do in fact. Those parents and my mother were giant Aholes.

[@partysuvius]

I did too, but the house I lived in was pretty big and spacious (parents bought it for almost 300k in a new neighborhood with a decent, child-friendly and pet-friendly HOA) and it was such a pain in the ass getting rid of them. They and bedbugs infested the house because of temporary residents that stayed with us while we lived there, at separate times. One person being my grandmother, and another being my “adopted” uncle (dad’s best friend from his work at the time, they both got laid off by the same company that laid off thousands of others bc of the economy). My grandma couldn’t stay where she was and had to move in with us for a while before finding a job and moving out, and my uncle needed to stay with us before he could find a new place bc my parents still had their house. This was in the 2000s, my grandma stayed with us after my uncle (who stayed for less than a year) and moved with us to the second house. And the roaches? Practically immune to any poison we put out. We had german roaches. They’re extremely difficult to kill, and the last thing that was working was DE, diatomaceous earth powder. It’s like bone or shell powder from ancient critters called diatoms. The powder is extremely absorbant and abrasive and effectively kills roaches. Most effective on babies, so it can easily quell a roach population. I was born with asthma and had really bad breathing growing up and I tried not to be home to avoid the affects.

[@mariajw4803]

Story 1. Op was already helping his parents a lot but they thought he was TAH. I don't get why some parents get kids if they're not going to appreciate or are willing to take responsability over them.

[@pansprayers]

First of all, people don't 'gEt KiDs' (WTF?) they usually HAVE, or ADOPT them. I don't understand why the public education system refuses to hammer this home properly, and also explain that the idea of a baby is much more romantic than the reality - the difference is, unlike whatever fickle BS caught your eye this week, kids are a twenty year, sleep deprived commitment. Second, yes they did screw up, but it looks like they're trying to figure it out. Again, go back to sleep deprivation, and look at what it's been scientifically proven to do with your cognitive thinking skills, and it looks just like this sometimes - try looking it up.

[@mustwereallydothis]

I have a brother named Sean, pronounced Shawn. It was actually a very common spelling of the name back in the late 50s when he was born. I have never heard of anyone spelling it "Seen" before though. I wonder if they were going for Sean but the correct spelling somehow got lost in translation. At any rate though, giving identical twins, identical, aside from spelling, names is borderline on child abuse.

[@MsMookalate]

I know Shawn, Sean, Shaun, and even Shain (once). Never seen Sean spelled as Seen.

[@donnapemberton952]

@@MsMookalate my brother, uncle and a school friend are called Shawn all 3 spelt SEAN

[@Ghostcyborg71]

Sean, usually spelt with a little thing above the E like this Séan or Seán (both seem to be acceptable but I've only ever seen é in it.) Is actually the Irish spelling of the name.

[@mustwereallydothis]

@@Ghostcyborg71 that's very interesting. I've never seen it spelled with an acce ted letter befor. I'm in North America though. We don't use them much at all, except perhaps, in French speaking regions.

[@mustwereallydothis]

@Druid of Scosglen please tell me that Anfernee was not meant to be pronounced Anthony.

[@WildKat25]

The Wedding Dess situation is super weird to the point where I would nope out of the relationship. The fact that the future MIL overreacted over a dress for a birthday vs a wedding is ridiculous and the fact the the rest of the family went no to low contact is insane. Especially as OP gave up their dress to make the MIL happy. If a dress could polarize a whole family into hating you then something more important will get even worse. Even if the future MIL has suffered from PTSD is doesn't excuse the fact that it is an overreaction and the MIL never communicated how important that dress meant to her to try and fix the issue or get OP to understand how hurt they were.

[@Gregarious3]

Yea, would have gone to her and tossed the dress at her and said nope we are not family.

[@ectonyx]

i don't think it was *about* the dress tho. i think what triggered the MILs PTSD was the "it's not really my problem" line. i don't have PTSD myself, but many very important people in my life do and i've got an anxiety disorder myself-- something like that is very easily interpreted as "i don't care about your trauma." i don't think MIL actually cared about her dress, she cared about her son and daughter-in-law's seeming lack of empathy towards her past emotional abuse. regardless, the family as a whole are terrible at communicating their problems with each other.

[@BurningheartofSILVER]

Step 1: I love how much op loves his baby brother! It’s so wholesome 🥰

[@susanlosey9511]

Good for Annie in getting help with her depression. Also good for you in sticking up for Annie. Your sister is in the wrong.

[@drea4195]

Cockroach story: it doesn't sound to me like the parents really got it. There was a vague promise to put some traps in OP's room, but beyond that, what action have they actually taken? Then OP was "semi-grounded" for how he "escalates situations". Which his parents eventually lifted after they had a talk. So it still sounds like his parents are waffling on even admitting that it's a real problem, much less taking solid action to get rid of the dang roaches. In the parents' minds, OP is still the problem, not "a few" cockroaches. OP, I am sorry to say that you probably should call CPS and send them the picture you took of the bags of cockroaches in your bed. Your parents are gaslighting you and not actually doing anything to help you. Getting an authority involved may be the only way they won't be able to continue ignoring this appalling situation. Good luck.

[@Wolvesbane39]

I really feel like the parents gaslit OP about the situation. Because taking pictures with a phone time stamps them. They were flat out ignoring the situation. There's a saying about cockroaches "If you see one, there are many more". The apartment my family used to live in had roaches because our downstairs neighbor was hoarding trash. It was disgusting. We escalated it until finally the owner of the building sent us all to a hotel nearby and got the place fumigated.

[@MyUniqueBeauty]

I got that too. Traps doesn't resolve anything and I find it beyond weird that they aren't jumping up to get rid of them. My mom is deathly afraid of roaches, she'd burn the house to the ground if you let her to get rid of them.

[@GrowingWithFig]

The worst part of it is, they're fine with the LIVE cockroaches being in their childs bed, gaslight the child that it's just one cockroach, but go absolutely nuts when the cockroaches are DEAD AND IN BAGS in their bed?? CPS should absolutely be called jfc 🤯

[@aprilwycherley]

With the twins, I was a Girl Scout leader years ago and had a set of identical twins with rhyming names. After I met them the first time and they left, I was thinking “that’s not even cute.”

[@GlucoseGuy]

The story that got me the most in the 4 hour videothon was the favouratism one (1:48:41) where the dad outright said that they needed the rent money for brother's college... not for the mortgage, not for the bills... but for the golden child. I honestly hope that the brother also wakes up to what AHs the parents are for treating his sibling so unfairly rejects what the parents try to offer without also offering to the brother and tries to do things on his own. But I know it's hard to want to fight when you're the one being favoured.

[@anitakyota9922]

I have been married for 37 years to my soul mate. When we were dating many people tried to say our relationship was weird because we would watch beauty pageants together and vote on the winners. We went clubbing many weekends and I lived to dance so if he got tired I would dance with other people and he was never jealous or stupid like other guys. We got married 13 months after our 1st date and are still very happily married with 6 children and 9 grandchildren! Don’t let anyone else determine what your relationship should be!

[@msarilyn7677]

Oh, wow how can a person try to turn their underage child into a parent ? Parentification is wrong!

[@Sandstimes]

I have emetophobia and immediately recognized that the mother near the end also had a phobia, it's concerning the lack of empathy so many of those comments show. They don't seem to understand that it is Not a voluntary reaction, the fact that she's even able to bear through it and get it done when her husband's not there is very strong of her. Asking for the husband to deal with this 1 task when he's there and nothing else so the wife can avoid the horrible psychological and physical reactions that she has no control over sounds completely reasonable. Especially since he Insisted on having the child. Phobias of this nature are incredibly hard to treat, it can take years with a therapist that specializes in your specific phobia, it isn't as easy as just "stop being mentally ill lol".

[@youarehere594]

Regarding roaches, I'm from nothern Utah originally and never saw a roach in my life. This changed when the hubby was stationed in Mississippi and I met palmetto bugs. At one point after a few weeks of living there I had a meltdown of sorts and the hubby caught me in the kitchen...I turned off the lights, waited for them to come out of hiding, then turned on the lights and smushed them with his combat boot (I thought it was appropriate since I was in combat of sorts). He came downstairs to see what the lights going on and off and the pounding were and I remember flipping on the lights, seeing him standing there looking at me, his boot and dead bugs. I looked at him and the only thing I could think of was, gotta get them when they're young and turned off the light. He went back upstairs, I came up a few minutes later and we invested in roach traps and tupperware. Flying cockroaches still haunt my nightmares at times.

[@partysuvius]

I can’t help but laugh at imagining the scene he walked into. I’m surprised he didn’t burst out laughing after your comment and the action of turning the lights back off. I hate roaches

[@carterpitbull7366]

“Gotta get them while they’re young” is the funniest thing I’ve ever seen regarding roaches 😭

[@TheVeggiekat]

Story 1, the parents planned on having the newborn’s room on a separate floor of the house?!?!? WTH? That’s insane

[@MissSimone02]

I feel the first story so hard lol I'm the oldest and 11yrs older than my youngest sister. I took her all the time because my mom was a single mom in college. But I NEVER had to do night duty. Ever. Babysit while mom is doing homework overnight in the school library? Sure, but my sis was like 4 by then and slept through the night. Op definitely isn't TA and his parents need to figure it out.

[@madarawijerathne276]

First story I totally get why op likes make mom jealous. My youngest sister is 13 years my junior and her first word is older sister in my language it made me so ecstatic. And when she's in first grade she cried because she missed me not parents lol. I was sooo proud

[@295Phoenix]

Story 1: Fuck Family, your crying machine ain't anybody else's problem.

[@catherinethorstenberg8957]

They had 9 months to finish the renovations in just ONE room.

[@mustwereallydothis]

My daughter's have two "home schooled" friends who are sisters. Their parents had a business that kept them away from home 10 to 12 hours a day. I used to have the girls over any time we could. They always insisted they absolutely had to go home early in the afternoon to, "Take care of their dogs." At the time I thought it odd but let it go. Years later, after they had become adults, I learned they actually had to go home every afternoon in order to do ALL the housework and make dinner virtually every night. This all began when they were 6 and 8 years old! To be clear, those poor girls were forced to take over the roles of housewife from the ages of 6 and 8. I often wish I could go back in time and slap my younger self for not realizing what was happening. In my defense though, they were very well trained to not share information about what went on in their home. Both girls are currently suffering with serious psychological problems. We almost lost one of them several times recently. Her most recent hospitalization lasted over two months. Sadly, I made the mistake of voicing my opinion of what their mother put them through (there was a whole lot more to the story, but that isn't relivent to the subject of this video) and neither of them have spoken to me in months.

[@lia-chan8581]

For story one, I was in a similar situation (also same ages), but my parents went about it better. Sometimes, my mom just couldn’t calm my brother. He would become hysterical and I was the only one able to calm him. I would sing him to sleep in under 5 minutes. He would wake me up as well when he was crying so I was already woken anyway. My parents were extremely apologetic when they asked me for help, but I was ok with it. Maybe my motherly instincts started to develop as I was spending a lot of time with him. I just couldn’t hear him cry. It also only took me 5 minutes max what would take my parents a whole hour of him keeping everyone in the house awake. He would shush my mom when she tried to sing to him to sleep, requesting me 😂

[@muhname6052]

Roaches: could we address how they kept compost next to their wall?

[@meadowsong8560]

Right??

[@KS-uv3rh]

Story one: a sibling "helping out a little" with an infant is like, baby sitting for 2-3 hours sometimes when parents run to the store or having a little rest, not having inevitable baby night shift everday. Dude has school and life too wtf.

[@jessicamarsh9779]

43:08 LMFAO “Has a problem with strangers coming into his house” but he’s okay with bugs? Wtf? 😂

[@bernadettehawes]

Reason baby is quieter with you than with mum could also be because he cannot smell milk on you. This is another reason they can be more fussy with a breastfeeding mum. This ended so positively. You’re a wonderful sibling and family

[@emceeourtney241]

I used to absolutely hate being called cute, but it was a result of my older sister being percieved as attractive and "hot". Wasnt gender related and I'm glad they were able to work it out and thier family was so receptive. But yeah it was a good day when my mom finally figured it out, because very similarly it made my skin crawl

[@HonorWillow]

Cockroach story: People especially parents who say "you should have just [done the thing they already did but was ignored when they did it]" have a special place in hell. It's not quite gaslighting because they weren't calling OP crazy but it's definitely gaslighting adjacent

[@TheNormExperience]

“She said I was being an ahole for not taking her seriously and re-evaluating my relationship.” Hold on. Yep, I just re-evaluated *MY* relationship, and found it to be even stronger than I thought. So whose relationship are you really worried about here cuz it sure isn’t mine?

[@kbf9644]

You don’t teach people to respect you. You earn respect through actions and deeds.

[@emo7636]

My partner is an airline pilot, he gets up at all hours of the night and has to drive 3.5 hours just to get to his base airport to start his duty day. If our baby can be in our room from birth until now, anyone can do it. The nights before he'd have to work, I'd be the sole one who got up every 1-2 hours with him and I'd feed him in a different room so we didn't disturb his dad. On his off-nights he'd do half the baby-duty. We also had an 8 year old as well so we had an inkling of what might work for us. I could not fathom putting the infant in his older brother's room at night. Poor kid.

[@retaburwell2200]

op’s parents are the ones who decided to have this new baby and they are the parents so it is their job to raise the baby!

[@ironwolf56]

The story about an hour and a half in. What a roller coaster of opinions. I went from "mom sounds racist" to "okay maybe not racist just doesn't trust boys in general to an extreme fashion" to "yeah some of the stuff the girl and her friend get up to sound a bit... weird... maybe mom isn't completely crazy."

[@xellosmakuzo2586]

There’s an update and it’s a doozy :0

[@ironwolf56]

@@xellosmakuzo2586 Oh where at?

[@royvincent9250]

wedding dress story it could be something as simple as the fact that op did not invite her wedding dress shopping then ended up with a dress just like hers that broke her heart. and as op said she is not a very emotional person. people that hold in their emotions break hard when it gets to much . that said still not op's fault. but there is something not being brought to this post.

[@Krisna_K]

Story 1: NTA! I grew up with three younger siblings and had no choice but to share a room with all of them! I hated it! I was also the one who had to get up and change diapers and often make bottles (on the stovetop because no microwaves at the time) because my mom was a heavy sleeper and dad worked nights!

[@league-of-shadows]

It’s wild to me that they want to put a baby that young downstairs. Something tells me once that room is done the mom won’t hear the baby cry all night.

[@lorifiedler13]

#1 Since dad gets up early, why cant he sleep on the couch? Maybe that would give incentive to finish Leo's room. But putting Leo in the basement seems weird.

[@BCFBreakfastClubFan]

I can't get over the fact that everytime Markee says "Our next post...." it sounds to my American ears like "unexposed". I actually thought that was what he was saying for a long time, and I was trying SO HARD to make sense of it! 🤣 I should also add that I am slightly hard-of-hearing and I often hear something other than what the person is saying. However, once I know, I usually think it's nuts that I heard something else. With this, I hear "unexposed"... every. single. time. I still love you, Markee.

[@alexbodi5526]

To be fair I can understand that. It’s probably because of his accent.

[@BCFBreakfastClubFan]

@@alexbodi5526 LOL, yes, partly...but also the fact that I have auditory processing issues. I had a friend that used to sit next to me at work and she kept a notebook of all the crazy things I heard INSTEAD of what people actually said. (It got to the point where she could tell by the look on my face. She'd look at me and say "What did you hear?" lmao.)

[@alexbodi5526]

@@BCFBreakfastClubFan Lmao, that happens to me on occasion as well. Whatever the person actually said will sometimes be nothing close to what I thought they said.

[@BCFBreakfastClubFan]

@@alexbodi5526 LOL, my grandfather had the same issue, and my dad did, as well, started in mid-20s with both. Mine started when I was about 23. I used to joke that I could ask my dad about the weather, and he'd say "thanks, but I'm not wearing a sweater".

[@jeanthree]

1st story they didn't think it threw having Leo. Also parentification is a form of child ABUSE

[@HodajuciParadoks]

Parents are responsible for their children, parents parent, not their children. NTA. Do not make children if you do not plan to be a parent.

[@JDKT002]

OP: I hate being called handsome. Me: They're trans. *finishes listening to the story* DING DING DING DING!

[@cheerio3847]

?2nd story? - Annie and OP caring for the son while she was in mental hospital getting help. I think the sister is jealous and threatened of Annie coming back into the son's life and replacing her as the most important / loved female for Zack. She is just pissing on her territory, over and over, and that's why she can't stop herself. She feels the need to remind Annie that she is important and that the kid loves her, she wants to push Annie away so she will maintain her spot and not fall down a slot in the pecking order. She has likely gotten used to not being just the Aunt, and that is a dangerous emotional spot to be for the sister. She is just an Aunt, not the mom, not the most important for the kid and she needs to be able to step back and have a more appropriate relationship with Zack.

[@ladyv5655]

I'm glad the OP finally put the sister in her place. It pisses me off how mean she was to Annie. You know that the longer she was able to be around Zack, the more she would poison him against his mother.

[@samurailevi49]

Story 1 is so NTA. It’s the parents baby! They made the conscious decision to have another child and babies require constant care. If they can’t handle sleep deprivation, then don’t have another kid.

[@oldwoman5942]

I knew a woman who’s voice was so low that everyone thought she was a man if they only heard her.

[@ewandavidson7001]

They had 9 months to sort out the baby room

[@aliceconnolly3837]

New record where did the intro go I miss it

[@Allantitan]

Oh god the questions from 3-4 year olds “why why why why why” (I still love my younger brother and nephew though 😂

[@honeypot8524]

Story 1: NTA, what did they do when you were a baby? If they managed then they can manage now

[@judymetzger3253]

Tell your parents you chose to have this child. You are the parents I'm not. You get up with your baby during the night. I need to sleep. You are the adult I'm the child.

[@AngryReptileKeeper]

S1: NTA. Not your baby, not your problem. They chose to have another one. They don't get to pawn it off on you because they don't want to be woken throughout the night by the consequences of their choices as if their sleep is more important than yours.

[@lexiburrows8127]

At 2 months old, that baby should still be in his carry-cot in the room WITH HIS PARENTS. Is OP supposed to breast-feed him too?!!

[@Shangori]

That story about the 14 year old girl and indian boy and the helicopter mom made me both smile and be annoyed. Here is a guy that doesn't know how to parent, wants to try his best, gets bombarded with new things, tries to accept it and then gets even more new things on his plate. Wonder how that one ended. Personally I can only see a bad ending. The parents are too set in their ways and treat their daughter as a child. I'm also scared that race is an issue for mom as well. Let alone the possibility of their daughter actually being a son down the line.

[@xellosmakuzo2586]

The story was updated

[@andreabartels3176]

They had OP young. I would like to know who raised OP? His parents or some other family member?

[@emilybarclay8831]

Probably grandparents or a babysitter. OP’s parents don’t seem to actually want to be parents

[@Dohyden2]

"her ex gave her permission to talk about the relationship" It hurts my soul that someone feels so vulnerable and in fear for their own safety that they have to stay so deep in the closet. You should never make someone come out for your sake, but the fact they didn't want to move and start a new life also means her ex was forcing her to live in a bottle. It's such a sad loose-loose situation and it breaks my heart.

[@matthewenfinger766]

I don't comment on these types of videos very often and there were quite a few stories that I thought about commenting on. But it's the diaper story for me, where OP can't handle poop diapers. I'm actually not bashing the OP, I honestly have a weak stomach when it comes to that kind of stuff and honestly it's not always the sight of it, but it's the smell. Well, sometimes it's also how it looks. plus other people vomiting also makes me vomiting. Anyways, off track here. For the commenter who said NTA, sure they agreed that dad would take doody duty (sry, had to 😅). But what's the OP gonna do when he goes back to work, leave the kid in the dirty diaper all day until he's home? Plus saying she does all the work. where in the post did OP say he only handles the poop diapers? The OP said, even though they didn't change poop diapers, they did help change the ones with just pee, plus wash bedding and feeding and bathing and that kind of stuff and they used the word HELP. As in not 100% of everything else minus the poop diapers. So it sounds to me like that husband is helping with the other responsibilities too. Plus it didn't seem like the OP didn't want kids just because they didn't want kids, seemed like it's because they were worried about cleaning up poop. Sure, the husband agreed to handle it, but he can't be around 24/7. So in emergencies, put on clothes pin on your nose or something and clean it up. Listening to these stories has taught me that redditers wanna make the man/father/husband the AH no matter what. Even if it means commenters have to make assumptions to fit their narrative. Anyways, I said poop way too much in the post. I'm trying to cut back on how much I cuss, so I'm trying to use other words.

[@fcold9402]

1. NTA. It is both Mom and Dads job to wake up and care for their child, it is not another childs job.

[@treehouse2902]

1. They are trying to parentify OP. let him be the one to care for Leo at night. OP needs to sleep on the sofa downstairs or in the basement or attic or any place by using an inflatable bed. Then make sure the door is open for parents to hear the baby. He should take the renovated room downstairs and Let parents keep Leo upstairs.

[@anitacharron9153]

The gifted child GO MAKE YOURE BEST Life YOU DESERVE IT You are not leaving forever You worked for this appearance should be proud of you your family should be supporting you this is a once in a lifetime opportunity that nobody else can have this is crazy that they would not be 100% behind you coming and doing this cuz it's not like you're going to be gone forever. If you don't go you're going to regret it for the rest of your life and you are always going to wonder what if I had done that what if I would have gone you don't want any regrets in your life do it I have a feeling your parents are going to tell you to go for it they've always been in your corner and I don't think they're going to stop now

[@rhondasisco-cleveland2665]

Teens need more sleep than an adult. This was bs.

[@wannabeartist2023]

OMG i hate it that people dont get it that OLDER SIBLINGS DO NOT MEAN *PARENTS* and siblings don't have to have to do things together bc they are family NO we were just born in the same household 😤

[@Wolvesbane39]

There's an age gap between my siblings and me. I'm at least 10 years older to my next sibling. Parents really shouldn't rely on their older kids to act as stand in parents to the younger ones, IT MESSES THE OLDER ONES UP. Plus they should not be angry when a teen is cranky and upset because their sleep cycle is screwed up by their natural cycle going later (Proven fact teens need more sleep than adults and sleep later. Like natural rhythms are about 11pm-9am range). They're treating their teen like a live in nanny. This will bring resentment. Also this makes a young person grow up a lot faster than they naturally would. Like I said, it messes with older kids having to parent their younger siblings. WOW to the teens who are best friends, I think both of those kids might be LGBT and they're in the questioning stage and are in self discovery. The learning gymnastics thing is probably not as dirty as they think and how the daughter described it, that sounds strait up like body issues. I wore my friend's clothes to experiment, and I actually really liked it. It's actually pretty normal for teens who are in this stage and might be gender nonconforming.

[@Original_Tenshi_Chan]

Story 2: Flip the script OP. You tell her "I've repeated that you are a shitty manager. You're an asshole for not taking what I'm saying seriously, and reevaluating your job at this company. And since your morbid obesity and deep wrinkles are a known thing, I have every right to say something about them." Oh, you're right, karen, this is fun, mocking karens is always a favorite past time! If karen wants to harangue OP about their relationship, then OP gets to harangue her about her age, weight, lack of relationship, or whatever else would irritate karen the most.

[@kbf9644]

#1 - Same. Was 10 when my younger brother was born and every single night I had to wake to him screaming, walk across the house to my parents room, wake my mother, stumble back and have to wait for her to get back to sleep before I could sleep again. It only stopped when he started sleeping through the night.

[@brandonshelp4682]

On the wedding/birthday dress debacle: MIL is a child, the rest of the family enables MIL and abuses hubby.

[@reneenoriega4524]

about the story with the OP who's coparent had to go away because she was depressed: OP's sister piss me off too. Jack's mom didn't "abandon" him, she was getting help 🫠 the cancer analogy is spot on. a sick parent can't take care of their kid, and she spoke with OP so they could make an arrangement that worked for the three of them. That sister is way out of line

[@sbh2888]

The sister wasn’t being mean to Annie because of her brother, she did it for herself. She was jealous of the mom coming back into the picture since she was playing that part of main woman in Jack’s life. That’s how she sees herself, as most important woman in his life, which is why she didn’t think Annie would show the message and risk losing her-the aunt. She doesn’t WANT the mom back, it has nothing to do with brother-or Jack really.

[@Cashious]

50th birthday story is ridiculous. Why is a 50 yr old woman breaking down over a dress. Seek help lady. As well as the family. OP is gracious for returning the dress.

[@ladyv5655]

In a few years, after OP has moved out, I wonder how they will explain to Leo why his brother never comes to see them any more?

[@telinhajp]

4 hours?! Amazing! 😃❤️

[@aliceconnolly3837]

I know right

[@hekatsees9449]

Poopy Baby Story: Changing poopy baby diapers is OP’s hill to die on. Eventually this phase will pass for baby and OP’s husband needs to get over it and honor his agreement… There is nothing wrong with this agreement. It simply is… I assume the couple can hire help in the meantime… Sorry, but by the time the diagnosis is therapied out of OP, the baby will be a teenager…

[@ZombieSazza]

“You’re disabled so don’t have a life, you should be grateful” that mother was horrendous and I’m glad OP left safely. I’m a child abuser survivor, I became disabled as an adult because of the nerve damage caused by beatings (from my brother, who she encouraged) in my early 20’s. I didn’t even live with them and faced horrific ableism, they’d weaponise my disabilities as if I should be ashamed for being physically crippled, where I’m mostly bedridden and rely on a cane, and have PTSD. I escaped young with help from a charity, that didn’t stop the ableism or other abuse (so much, it would be a list/novel), but my snapping point was when my mother tried intentionally withholding my meds. My pain meds. When she knows I’m in horrible pain every waking moment. For me that was the last straw, I cut contact etc. She still refuses to accept I’m disabled, and refuses to accept she’s responsible for me not wanting anything to do with her, even years later she tried bullying my father to add me to a chat with her and my brother. I have a somewhat distant relationship with my father because of her mental manipulation growing up that took a long time to escape from, and in my 30’s I’m rebuilding that relationship. My father straight up told her “Sarah doesn’t want to talk to you or our son, I’m not pushing her to join this group where you’ll harass her, make ableist comments, or be homophobic, that’s not happening.” She went nuts at him and he showed me the messages because he couldn’t believe how unhinged she had actually become, and I’m just sitting there depressed like “yeah, that was my childhood”, and he was so angry. Parents like OPs and my mother can’t handle or accept having a disabled child, the very idea disgusts them, for them it gives them a “reason” to validate their abuse, like we somehow deserve all the hate in the world. Parents like that don’t deserve any love, respect or contact.

[@sharyebethancourt3660]

Imagine being surprised at not being trusted when being a home wrecker is quite literally your hobby.

[@lorifiedler13]

Annie is doing the best for her and her son. If her mental health isn't good, she won't be good for her son. Sister can pound sands.

[@es_three232]

All these stories about kids & their fucked up parents made me call my mom & tell her thank you for always being there for me lol

[@sadie2melw]

In story 1, did a commenter really call the baby "annoying" and say to let him sleep in the living room or hallway?? 🤦🏾‍♀️ He's a baby, not a burden.

[@lilbeegamer]

Hi, oldest sibling with three younger siblings, here! :) I'm not even two minutyes into this video and trying to control my rage. If any parents are reading this and you happen to have or are planning on having more than one child: IT IS NOT THE RESPONSIBILITY OF THE OLDEST FREAKING CHILD TO TAKE CARE OF THE YOUNGER CHILDREN. THEY DID NOT LAY DOWN AND HAVE THOSE CHILDREN. YOU DID. GET YOUR SELFISH SHIT TOGETHER AND TAKE CARE OF THE DAMN CHILDREN YOURSELF. YOU DECIDED TO HAVE MORE THAN ONE CHILD, BE THE FREAKING PARENT. Thank you.

[@cassieloser2907]

Story 1: Decide to become breeding chattel, deal with the consequences. Just cause they have the privilege of keeping multiple breeding trophies doesnt mean they get to force one of their trophies to take care of their regrets.

[@willj24]

Pretty sure the "with an A and with an E" means one of them is "Shawn" or "Shaun" and the other is "Sean", not that one is "Sean" and the other is "Seen".

[@willj24]

(I agree the comments are based on the OP suggesting that it was "Seen", but the way they presented it "one with an A and one with an E, so I guess 'Sean' and 'Seen')", I'm thinking the OP made the mistake, and everyone else just took their story as gospel, because that's how Reddit works, we respond to what the commenter says, not necessarily to reality, because we have no way of knowing.)

[@marymasavage8986]

About the mother in law and the jewelery set. The OP bottling things up all her life and not wanting to talk about it, seeing that warmth from MIL and just wanting to pour out to her but also afraid to without being emotional. I completely understand and I found out I was emotionally abused by my narcissistic mother. It was all about her and if I tried to open up, it turned bad really fast and all about her so I'd just shut up and suppress, lie about how I really feel until I blow up like a volcano. Even lied to psychiatrists when I was younger because she would know about it and it would be bad.

[@doctorspacy679]

1:35:53 I think that the O.P. committed suicide fairly soon after the posting of this story. Either that or had a mental breakdown and got committed and never returned. Really really sad and I wish her the very best if she's still out there. Her last post was very concerning. I'm gonna try to reach out to her because I feel like it but I'm dubious of the success as it appears to be an abandoned account. Really really sad.

[@Meeckle]

I don't understand the whole"spending too much time together is toxic" thing. I spend 24/7 with my gf, and we couldn't be happier.

[@lynsthoughts3576]

Story 1 NTA, you're 16 and have to attend school. How if you are tired and sleepy? That is THEIR BABY, 2 month old needs to he near mom, not a 16 yr old bot. Parents are BIG AH. They had 9 months to make the baby's room. Shame on them

[@lpm67]

Never squish the roaches in the house, use a paper towel to pick them up and squish them in that. When you squish them it squeezes out their microscopic eggs that will hatch at a kater date.

[@lisaedwards2542]

Parents kid not op they had no right dumping the baby on op. They are unfair it's not your kid next time contraception.