My Partner's Friend Thinks I'm Weird For Not Wanting Him In The Same Bed As Her r/Relationships

[@Number-vt1fl]

The fact that she's giving so much push back about sleeping in the same bed as the husband shows that she clearly has ulterior motives.

[@dre1978]

Yeah my best friend of many years is a dude and if he told me his partner is uncomfortable with us sharing a bed I'd just say "ah ok, understandable. Wanna flip a coin for the bed?" This chick either wants to try and paint OP as a jealous and possessive partner so she can have the boyfriend to herself again or she has secret feelings towards the boyfriend.

[@elizabethcox5911]

Or she's just jealous that all her guy friends are finding someone to love and she's still alone. She thinks that she'll end up being the only single one soon.

[@paulagoeringer9466]

​@@elizabethcox5911 and with as much as all the other gfs hate her, she's pushed boundaries before trying to snag whichever bf she could from one of the others instead of finding one herself. She's a pick me and a toxic snake in the grass. She'll have to find another friend group to poach from soon.

[@judelbugsrutter6727]

💯

[@eldeano9964]

Her: I'm not interested in your bf. Op: i know, you're not a threat. Her: taking that personally and passive aggressiveness intensifies*.

[@justine8387]

OP should have said "thanks for volunteering to sleep on the ground next time. I am sure he would be happy to take turns on sleeping in the bed."

[@magicalmomo9987]

@@justine8387 This is my exact thought when she was complaining about his supposed back problems. "Well then why did you let him sleep on the floor if you care so much?? Why didn't YOU sleep on the floor and let him have the cot???"

[@betheguy_posts]

Story 1 is a refreshing change of pace. An emotionally mature OP with a partner who respects and enforces boundaries. What a healthy couple 👍

[@jojo72395]

If he has a bad back and needs to sleep on a bed she should have slept on the floor, not him.

[@An_Autist]

Smells like bs

[@johnbradbury8610]

OP is extremely gullible.

[@a.b.2850]

But she’s a princess!

[@ZooTycoon2witchdoc1]

this shes a pervert lmao

[@PlasticBluVentRabbit]

“You’re being mad possessive and toxic rn” -Jealous Friend being mad possessive and toxic

[@league-of-shadows]

Like honey you texted me 😂😂

[@AgentDonegal]

1st Story: The friend is protesting too much. If she didn't want her friend sleeping on the ground...let him have the couch, and YOU sleep on the ground. So annoying.

[@llamabrat07]

But she’s a woman so of course she shouldn’t have to sleep on the floor cuz the man always takes the floor if necessary. Even if it hurts the man’s back. r/sarcasm

[@jadadallas5891]

​@@llamabrat07 his floor setup with couch cushions sounds more comfy than most pull-out beds I have slept on. But what a great friend that she didn't offer to sleep on the floor since she was so "worried" about his back. 🤔

[@coreymartin6486]

"Seeing him sleep on the floor makes me sad for him" I'm sure your heart bleeds(sarcasm)....when you refused to sleep on the floor due to his back problems.

[@justine8387]

S2 as a woman in her 40s I want to comment this woman makes me so angry. Using a position of power to get a younger man to sleep with you is disgusting. We rightfully condemn men who use their positions to harrass women.

[@ohboy-zi1yf]

what planet do you live on bc men get away with using their power to sleep with women all the time? literally every major male celebrity has some controversy for doing that where he came out completely unscathed

[@AIBot929]

Yeah, that was a completely inappropriate and unprofessional request. Like she couldn't find a random, had to go to a subordinate... Her issues with her husband are her issues and she needs to just divorce that man, why bring the OP into it

[@jake8748]

​@AIBot929 I can understand her, she wasn't really into it in the first place. A safe friend is easier than the risk of someone else. Still inappropriate but not really nefarious or manipulative in the end. Just sounds like her husband really has worn her fully down and she really needs to leave him.

[@ndawn90]

​@@jake8748 No, it's still nefarious and manipulative. She's using her position of power and access to OP to try and fix her relationship which should be nowhere near the workplace. You shouldn't be friends with your subordinates in the first place. If she wanted to approach a "safe friend", she should have actually approached a friend, not a man a decade younger than her and whose career is in her hands!!

[@jake8748]

@@ndawn90 i thought that at first, too. But after the update, I don't think so badly. She didn't want to actually do it, really. Had she pushed it or actually really tried something, I'd be more upset, but that was more just a simple proposition. She seems to be clearly thinking it only out of spite towards her husband. Also her having a new partner or not doesn't and won't fix the marriage, there was no using the OP to fix her marriage. That was just her testing if she could find another partner so tested with someone she was close with. No matter who she asked it would be a problem to someone. All her actual friends, if any are male could be already in relationships or married too. OP may have been the only single male she knew. She's nearly 50 so probably only has a handful of friends. Also asking an actual friend could ruin said friendship as it completely changes the dynamics regardless of the answer. Yes bad that OP happened to be her subordinate which does change the pressure of the question but as I said she didn't seem to push or badger him about it or harass him etc. Also, you can very easily be friends with subordinates. It just requires knowing how to separate business and personal. I've plenty of times ended up supervisor or similar to friends, not always by choice either and in many completely different roles too. I've never had anyone accuse me of inappropriateness or treating subordinates better or worse based on my relationship to them, though. Unless you were only meaning romantic friendships in which I do agree that will always cause issues in the same line of command structure.

[@thePhoenixQueen]

"He's cheated on me four times, but he's the best husband..." Seriously, how low is the bar for some people?

[@pippo17173]

Today's world basically is asking to be doormats if you want the life you want apparently.

[@ZooTycoon2witchdoc1]

very. also feels like everyone eventually betrays you so you choose the best of the worst.

[@coreymartin6486]

I've never understood the demand for a forced apology from somebody. So.....the other person gives an insincere lip-service apology and then people just pretend the problem is resolved?

[@vanzy01]

💯👍🏿

[@a.b.2850]

Yup Like nothing ever happened

[@j.j.juggernaut9709]

Exactly. Why would you even want an apology from that type of person? It's not like they're gonna change (at least not if the apology needs to be demanded from them)

[@AMae016]

Ikr. That's only for 'teachable moments' with toddlers. Situation : Sis sleeps with SO. Response : Oh no! Did she apologize? Outcome : Coaxed apology offered for egregious act...all. is. well. That's one of the many, many Reddit 'standards' that I hate hearing. It's right up there with -- 'You don't have a (sibling/friend/parent) problem, you have a (SO) problem.' 'Do you even like your (SO/parent/kid)?' Sorry, I digress...🤷🏾‍♀️

[@HodajuciParadoks]

I use to think that it was ok that my ex slept with the bed with his his female friends....years after we break up, I found out he had sex with all of his female friends, minus one friend because he slept with her sister and she did not want to sleep with someone who slept with her sister....After this I have a rule, no sleeping in the same bed with others. Take taxi, call me to get you, or sleep alone on the sofa. That boundary is a must. I was made a fool..those his female friends become my friends, until I found out the truth.

[@johnbradbury8610]

Thank you, The fact that he constantly goes out with other women is enough of a red flag.

[@Floratic]

Wow! That is wild. 👀

[@kristinicole2055]

It’s insane that they always try to be your friend knowing full well they’re fucking with your man. 🙄 what are they gaining? An ego boost? I’m not embarrassed he’s a cheater, but you should be embarrassed you’re so fake, easy to have, and two faced. I don’t have that on my conscience. 😂

[@HodajuciParadoks]

@@kristinicole2055 I hurt me more to know they the women betrayed me, I thought I had relationships and finally women as friends, spend all time together....I remember when there was time when the song Scotty does not know was popular, they use to sing it, all the time....I had no idea...I was Scotty, I cried like a little baby how I as that blind and stupid. My mom told me, we all look from our view, what would we would do..or from experience. This is why boundaries are the must. I just wished I told my mom sooner about my life problems, the only one who will want you to be happy is a parent. I do believe there are good people, I refuse to be bitter or depressed, but I have boundaries and I am careful now. I would never understand that type of people, I just avoid them now.

[@j.j.juggernaut9709]

I believe that even if you did have that boundary with your ex, he still would have slept with them (or someone else). People don't just randomly become cheaters just because they can be in close proximity with another person

[@GLoLChibs]

S1- guilty dogs bark the loudest and whatnot. A respectful friend wouldn't reach out to OP to give pushback.

[@GaskyChan]

Im still mad at the boss. You have their livelihood in their hands and power over them. She is just forgiven because her husband is a wanker? He had been cheating 4 times.

[@drezhb]

I am too but it's his decision not ours. and also it seems like they were fairly close friends before this

[@ndawn90]

​@@drezhbWhich they shouldn't be. It's wildly inappropriate to have a close relationship with your boss on multiple levels, and that isn't even taking the age, gender, and marriage situation into account. There's a reason why most companies won't let you be managed by a relative or partner. The power differential is ripe for creating toxic, inappropriate situations. Even if things aren't actually happening, the optics alone are enough to make things bad. Imagine if you knew your boss and coworker were weirdly close, then you hear a rumor that they are having sex, then you see that your coworker got a promotion or raise or even fired or disciplined. What if this boss needs to do layoffs, and OP's job is saved but other people's positions are made redundant? And on and on and on. It's not acceptable to have that type of relationship with your boss, and any boss should know better. It's a similar concept to teachers being friends with their students. It's just too easy to start crossing major boundaries, and this story is proof of that. Would OP's boss had approached him for sex (which is literally textbook sexual harassment) if she thought that he would report her to HR? Of course not!! She approached him because their relationship was already inappropriately close, and now they've thrown some psychological enmeshment on this dumpster fire!

[@252stardust]

S2: I may have been listening to too many of these reddit stories but i'm doubting the boss's story. Yes it's a very plausible explanation and could very well be true, but she could also be lying so he doesn't report her to HR and is changing tactics to get him in bed. I think op is best finding a new job because i feel this is not the end.

[@medusawitchful]

Girl, I have many male friends. We never sleep in same bed even both of us single. It just…weird that she insisted.

[@medusawitchful]

Don’t they have sofa or something or whole house or whole room have only one bed?

[@kristinicole2055]

Same 🥴

[@jake8748]

I mean we did when I was a teenager and it was like 8 people in the room or other crazy stuff after a party. Very much doubt it was ever with someone in a relationship or anything though. I'm a male btw. Definitely was a few times I shared a bed with female friends, including atleast once with the woman who is now my wife and another of her friends. But yeah, different story at 17/18 year old and all single. These days I have a bad back and I wouldn't sleep next to another woman unless in very specific circumstances or very few actual people such as family or people essentially who are family. 100% wouldn't just be 2 of us alone in the room. Only way would be if it was a fairly packed room lol.

[@willow8186]

I don’t get why people are being so forgiving towards the boss who asked for a sexual relationship with OP. As much as I’m sympathetic to her marital issues what she did is still *completely* unacceptable, massively so. OP not only rely on her for his paychecks but he also feels deeply indebted to her for all the opportunities she’s given him throughout the years. Boss shouldn’t be a boss if issues in her personal life can convince her that workplace sexual harassment is a way to deal with that. Hopefully she never does anything like this again though. A man would NOT have been so easily forgiven on Reddit.

[@nelly2958]

S2: this story is so frustrating. The audacity of this doing this probably knowing she’d get away in scathed. Op not realizing he’s a victim. Even admitting on on tape that he WOULD sleep with his boss, just not a married one. It’s so messy

[@xelectrix]

If she was so worried about his back, she could have given him and pullout bed and she could have taken the floor.

[@Bala_Niranna]

Idk the last story left a bad taste in my mouth. It's like... Cool motive, still sexual harassment. Maybe they're just close enough that this can fly, but it just feels so insanely inappropriate and still like an abuse of power. Like, I can only read her calling him loyal as in not reporting her to hr. It just feels so gross

[@Mama_Bear_of_3]

Story 1. She isn't much of a friend because if she knows he has back problems, why didn't she offer him the bed and take the floor herself. She is just trying to start a power struggle with OP. Good on OP to shut that right down.

[@Marstic666]

When the update said “none of the other gfs like you” I was like “ah, so she’s a pick-me girl”

[@paulagoeringer9466]

Yup. There's the red flag. 😂 That's the first thing I thought too. She'll have to find a new group to poach from soon as she's pissed off everyone in that one.

[@autumnjey4683]

imagine if in the second story, a man pressured a much younger subordinate to sleep with him. and then he cried and said his wife kept cheating on him and he was sorry. would we all be saying there was a happy ending or would we say he was a creep?

[@nelly2958]

They’re both terrible, is this situation the boss probably knew they would get away from it unscathed wether or not her story was true. It sucks no one is talking about this

[@ndawn90]

THANK YOU!!! It's gross, not a happy ending at all!!

[@suitov]

Cheaters want the guilt to go away. That's why they try to drag you down to their level by saying "you can cheat too!" They don't want to be the bad person and don't want you to have that over them, so their numbskulled solution is to drag you into the mud with them.

[@paulagoeringer9466]

And it's so they can hold that over your head forever. They may have cheated a million times, but look, you did it too so you're just as bad. Narcissists pull this nonsense all the time. They do an unreal amount of harm to you, lie, cheat, steal, etc. but you do the tiniest, most microscopically insignificant thing wrong and they'll shout from the rooftops what garbage you are.

[@bowtiefox]

Lets not go around pretending that her soliciting him even if she diddn't mean it was anything less than it was no matter the reason it was a blatantly disrespectful thing to do. If their genders where OP being fem and the boss being male people would *RIGHTFULLY* be pulling out pitchforks and calling for them to contact HR immortally, its only the fact that it was this way around that allows her so much forgives. I don't care that her husband cheating was her explanation, don't burn houses where you expect to find shelter; This is a problem for a therapist not a colleague that views *YOU* as a mentor

[@brookeneeley396]

The fact that this girl seems to be the only single friend in the group and the other girls don't like her makes me think she's been trying to sabotage their relationships too. Because as they say misery loves company

[@paulagoeringer9466]

She's one of those pick me poachers who love to steal other girls bfs because it's a way to make herself feel superior. She needs therapy to deal with her issues so she can get and maintain healthy relationships. Otherwise, no one's going to want her around.

[@lydianelson7737]

“I really like you and the two of you together” Sure, Jan

[@johnbradbury8610]

Story 2, If she is telling the truth, the best thing OP could do is be a good friend while she divorces him

[@TheSwindlingSwindler]

Ahh, love when teenagers pretend like they're adults in these stories

[@grangerweasley]

My favorite saying is “don’t get your honey where you make your money” 😂

[@coreymartin6486]

As a guy who had a female best friend.....I think many people are ignorant why it can be detrimental when that person is in a relationship. I learned from pratical experience in my naive years. There's 2 reasons. 1. "I don't have feelings for bestfriend and they don't for me".....cool, but the problem is not always romantical. It's jealousy of priority and possessiveness. I had a female best friend scream at my fiancee that she(fiancee) stole her bestfriend(me). Before this happened she definitely didn't raise any red flags, none. 2. A best friend is somebody you will share certain feelings with. If you both are straight....it can cause emotional bonding that is disrespectful to your partner.

[@shadowkissed2370]

When I left my extremely abusive ex, I stayed with my best friend and her husband, who were like family to me. Their only available sleeping space was the bed we all shared. Her father-in-law, who struggled with mental health issues, made the living room an unsafe option. My best friend was fine with me still being in the bed after she went to work, but I made sure to keep my distance from her husband, staying on one side of the bed. Sometimes you have to make the best of a tough situation. Despite the arrangement being totally innocent, my ex spread rumors that I was involved with her husband, and we got judged for it. It’s sad how people assume the worst without knowing the whole story.

[@timtompkins8774]

Other woman-he had to sleep on the ground that doesn't seem fair. Why didn't she take the ground if she is this worried about his back problems?

[@heatheraucoin5832]

S1- If OPs bf said that the rest of the groups gfs were having issue with her, why did he brush Op when she brought this concern more than once? I get maybe two times but…. At least he fixed it now

[@ZooTycoon2witchdoc1]

Some people are open. MOST PEOPLE THINK ITS COMPLETELY INAPPROPRIATE LMAO And their partner should have said HE doesnt want to do it to be respectful to his relationship, not that op was uncomfortable ffs if you dont WANT commitment dont commit, dont push it on ur partner either you shouldnt even be remotely interested in sleeping in the same damn bed as your friend yourself smh

[@lunabelle01]

Lmao the hats and backgrounds are a treasure.

[@katliente]

so ready to type *first* and have 50 comments appear after sending 😂

[@MelJW2]

Say it with me folks! "She's a pick me girlllll"

[@ajjean2720]

Second story-I want OP to feel some sorta anger towards her husband. I don’t know if that makes sense but bro FOUR TIMES?!?! I’m feeling bad but I’m also so angry

[@coreymartin6486]

If bf respected OP, he would have slept on the ground. I'm a 41m with frequent back problems, even now. I also used to have a female best friend. .....I would take the floor. Also, if the boyfriend and friend are so close and all....why couldn't she take the floor? Equality, much?

[@league-of-shadows]

She didn’t offer because she knew he didn’t really have a back problem and wanted to sleep next to him 😂. Personally I would have slept on the floor but I can see my amazing guy friends wanting to be chivalrous. I would thank them but still take the floor.

[@rachaelclark8465]

First story, I agree with op. Because, if the other woman feels like she needs to explain, more often than not, something is going on. Or, why would she explain?

[@lindsayjmolina]

Markees Pinterest backgrounds are hilarious to me for some reason 😂

[@wimsylogic65]

It's not a red flag to not have a woman around to vouch for a man's character. There are plenty of instances where you can't trust the women around a man to judge that man's character. That's fine for some people you know this is really a situational individual thing. My point in the matter is as just if a man doesn't have female friends that doesn't mean he's a red flag. Also why trust the word of other people get to know the person yourself and make your own judgments. There are vindictive Manipulative people, Some who are in the friend zone place who will lie to try to keep Their friend from being available to anybody else. This goes for man and women. I guess just Use your own eyes and ears and experiences to judge a person, You can take into account the words of others but that Not the only thing you should go by I'm making judgments on people. Take for example in the story I wouldn't trust that friend the way they were fighting with o p's boundaries. Why would you trust the word of someone who doesn't respect basic boundaries of someone else's relationship.

[@sharyebethancourt3660]

3:08 Good on OP! This girl needed to mind her damn business!

[@KE-hr4sb]

S1: "Cool, then you can sleep on the floor. Problem solved." Yes, she is overstepping. You were polite and stated your boundary, to which she kept doubling down, and even insulting your boundary. Makes me wonder if there are ulterior motives, whereas if she had just left it alone after the first sentence, things would have been fine. However, you have a (slight) bf problem too: he should not have told her you were uncomfortable with it; he should have said that HE was, now that he was in a relationship. He threw you under the bus. "Most of the friends gfs don't like her." Color me shocked!

[@RockCollector201]

I woke up at 3 and was sick, so now I get to play this and go back to bed for a few hours 🎉. Thank you, markee for the good sleep content!

[@kurotsuki7427]

The second story is creeping me out.

[@kateemma22]

Hey OP1's boyfriend's friend: have they picked you yet, girl?

[@themayhemofmadness7038]

Story1: Well look at OP and her BF flying all those beautiful green flags for each other!!! Communicating, respecting boundaries, trusting each other, and just being decent significant others in a healthy, grown up relationship. Good for them. ❤❤❤

[@rachaeldumas7432]

Do ya'll auto like the videos before you even hear all the stories? Just me? Lol.

[@kurotsuki7427]

It lets me know if I've already listened to a video.

[@maurer3d]

Story 1: NTA, it is completely inappropriate to share a bad with a friend of the opposite sex when drunk, when they are in a relationship..

[@bridgetdebourgh5698]

Hey Markee 👋 Have an amazing weekend 🤗

[@catsncrows]

She mentioned hippies. A lot of hippie mentality *can* be "If I feel like doing it, it's okay". I had them for parents and their social circle. It has to do with breaking social norms but it ends up being chaotic

[@D64nz]

First story - when I was young sometimes we had to improvise when there was a shortage of beds, so we would top and tail. That's two in the same bed but one person is switched around so head to feet, rather than head to head so to speak. Obviously everybody has to follow a basic standard of hygiene but that wasn't ever a problem in any of my friend groups. 😊

[@heatherannepowell4501]

Beautiful background and lovely narration.

[@Sclasspsycho]

[OP considers sleeping next to someone as intimate.] THAT'S why I was feeling like I felt something different and thought sleeping next to a friend (of any gender) was no big deal. I've spent a lot of my childhood sharing beds with family on trips. And I'm also ace. I didn't see people who aren't romantically involved sleeping next to each other as intimate.

[@jeaniebee3657]

i would have asked that chick"well, if it hurt you so much to see him to sleep on the floor with a bad back why didnt you take the floor and give him the bed"

[@Frazzled_Chameleon]

Remaining in a relationship in which your partner cheats on you repeatedly, is all levels of wrong. OP's boss doesn't have a relationship, she has a toxic dependency and a fear of being alone. She's willing to let herself feel like utter shit because she's too scared to not be with him. So sad.

[@lulutrinae5781]

Story 3: I feel so bad for this women she is quite literally being gaslighted so badly by her husband to the point of codependency. Whats really crazy and sad though is if her and op DID end up having an affair, like how many of these stories go from the other side where the cheater manages to convince the victim into an "open relationship/you get a free pass type situations"...chances are OP's boss would start to move on because she'd realize there IS better out there after taking the plunge into the waters. Not saying its a good solution. Do not shit where you eat, but like man poor OPs boss I feel for her.

[@blankrainbow9108]

Wow first also I love your channel, Markee!!!!!!!

[@deifieddata4462]

The friend only knows about this because bf started talking about his relationship to an opposite sex friend he's shared a bed with 💀

[@EluneAnzu]

Story 1: "Most of the friends' girlfriends don't like her" sounds like she's a pick me with the entire friend group then

[@league-of-shadows]

I’m really mad at OP 1 for not spilling the tea because the boyfriend dropped the 💣 that the other guy’s gf’s also have issues with female friend. Like e👏🏽l👏🏽a👏🏽b👏🏽o👏🏽r👏🏽a👏🏽t👏🏽e👏🏽.

[@ajzephyros7454]

I really don't know how I feel about story 2, just, sad I guess

[@vkp00]

Story 2 - happy it worked out for OP...but I shat where ate. lol At 17 I met my now husband at work. Happily married for 8 years!

[@jomc6734]

Story 2: OP's boss doesn't have a good marriage. Her husband is NOT the best husband. He is in no was even a remotely good one. That man is the lowest of the low. Come on, he wants to open their marriage after being a serial cheater for years. OP's boss needs to get some self-esteem and leave his a$$.

[@inkypunk]

Story 1: my favourite part was OP's partner dropping the bombshell of "you know none of the girlfriends like you". OOF. This group is seriously getting tired of her antics. Story 2: I think OP needs to run, I'm sorry his boss was having a hard time, in fact it sounds like she's in an emotionally abusive relationship with how her husband completely shatters her trust and then reels her back in, but that was incredibly inappropriate to approach OP. No one would be this chill if the genders were reversed, even if the boss apologised.

[@lillithherondale1972]

She could've slept on the floor if she was "so worried" about his back pain. I wouldn't sleep in the same bed with anyone other than my boyfriend or my best friend, who's a woman I've known for 20 years

[@deinellyoung7769]

Off topic, she said her boyfriend could fall asleep anywhere. Should he be evaluated for narcolepsy?

[@SCUBASUEReynard]

No woman being groomed by her boss. Ya it’s never it’s inappropriate but it never ends well. It only ends when it’s he decides it is a good for him. Never date your boss especially if they are married. When it goes wrong you’re out of love, you’re out of a job. And you’re out of your mind.

[@angeliqueSeidlitz2388]

Lol, my husband would yeet or shut down anything woman who would want to sleep in a bed with him unless it was me (his wife). He'd rather sleep on the floor or in his car. I wouldn't have to express anything to him. It's just how he is

[@sharyebethancourt3660]

The other women in story 1 overstepped big time! Girl, this is none of your business!

[@PrismCasillica]

S2. Just because her husband sucks doesn't give her the right to be a creep. Ew! Edit: I'm convinced her sob story is fake so she can keep emotional control over OP. Ew. Ew. Ew.

[@AIBot929]

S1: The idiom "doth protest to much" comes to mind... Has nothing happened because he's not checking for you... cuz inserting yourself in someone else's relationship that way is sus

[@SillyTeaSeal]

Hello markee

[@Markee]

hello sillyteaseal

[@recycledapathy7411]

Story 2: "He's the best husband ever except that every once in a while he tries to kill me, and also he gave me herpes."🤨

[@nondisclosure3920]

Why didn't boyfriend sleep in same bed as the guy friend?

[@tashacooper1753]

That’s not weird Iv been raised to never be alone with the opposite sex

[@Akemi.24-45]

こんばんは、マーキー ❢ ♥️🤗