my sexual assault story...

[@amandavillarini]

Hey ya'll !! it's been a bit since I uploaded this video. I just wanted to say, thank you.. to all the kind souls that reached out to me and to those who trusted me enough to share their own experiences. The support I have received has been so overwhelming. so, again, thank YOU 💖 My 2021 was all about healing, forgiving and evolving. I started weekly counseling, with the help of my therapist I was able to work through a lot of my trauma. Before starting therapy, I honestly thought I was 'handling' things a lot better than I really was. Jokes on me lol. Therapy brought back so much trauma and finally made me realize I hadn't forgiven and forgotten, or moved on from it at all. ANYWAYS, let's move on to the main reason why I am even posting this comment in the first place lol If you watched the video above, you know that the SVU detective assigned to my case was not the best, to say the least.. When I went in to give a statement he made it seem as if everything was my fault, and by that I mean he asked me "why would you let yourself get that intoxicated" "people at the party saw you and Jair (the main attacker out of the 3 men) kiss" or my personal favorite "what were you wearing that day." As soon as he asked those type of questions I knew there would be no hope for my case. I tried to contact them several times throughout 2014 to see if there was any update on my case and nothing. I would leave multiple voicemails and not a single call back from the detective. Til this day, I don't even know if they tested my rape kit. After a while, I just left it alone. I felt defeated. It's now January 27th, 2022. It has been 8 years. It's time to finish what I started... Now, that I'm not scared shitless-- I will contact the San Antonio Special Victims Unit and finally get some answers. Updates coming soon.

[@abfab9184]

Thank you so much for sharing. I got drunk and raped and I didn’t press charges because I felt it was my fault for getting drunk. Thank you for making me realize it wasn’t my fault.

[@rochelle_johnston2703]

@@abfab9184 Hi, I want to comment and I will but my dog needs to go outside so brb.

[@rochelle_johnston2703]

Hi, I want to comment but dog needs to go outside, brb.

[@DaRyteJuan]

Unfortunately, the police are rarely, rarely anyone’s friend. They are almost more evil than the perpetrators because they give the perpetrators free license to do whatever they want. The victim gets victimized twice. My personal opinion is to never talk to the police unless you have an attorney even when or _especially_ when you’re the victim. There’s something screwed up in the brains of police. They don’t see citizens as human beings. They only recognize cops or others in a position of authority. Don’t give up on your healing, Amanda. It will take time. Over time though, you will grow stronger and stronger. Always pulling for you over here.

[@firstpablo]

Amanda, just remember you’re a beautiful, intelligent, young lady. You have a great future. I love you just for you being you and not letting this unfortunate incident define your life. Take care.

[@oldboyJay]

I came across your post just by random scrolling and you drew me in with your story. I just want to say I am sorry that this happened to you. It wasn't your fault and it's a shame that justice hasn't been done. Stay strong.

[@paulgrant2314]

Painful to hear you were taken advantage of in such a manor. You are strong I did gain something from your story confident to get a story of myself out. Stay strong and keep your head up

[@rogerb4436]

This pisses me off, as a man and a father. Some guy thinking only about his selfish needs and 1 night of fun for him but a life time of damage for a victim. As a guy I'm ashamed, angry & embarrassed. These ppl are human beings and one day it could be a mother or sister of there's being violated. What can you say to this poor women....nothing.....she just has to be strong and live with it..so sad.

[@stregalilith]

Roger thank you for your outrage. As a man there is something you can do. Tell all the men you know how you feel about this issue! And when you see a brother step out of line SAY SOMETHING! "Hey that's not cool dude." or "Show a little respect" or whatever you would say if that girl or woman was your daughter or sister or mother. Get with other men and stop these constant assaults on women and girls. You can do it. Women and girls have tried for years but these guys don't listen to women--BUT they listen to men. Stand up by yourself and with other men in defence of women from what looks like to you the slightest bit of harassment to actual sexual attack. Women and girls are terrified of men--even the good ones--because nobody is keeping the jerks in line. That's not a world either of us want to live in.

[@Theresonlyonetruth1]

@@stregalilith keep that same energy for women rapist as well

[@RedPillCosby-012]

Often in these stories the woman is rapist. Many time often benefit of dought when their memory gaps we lean on cultural narrative IV learn be more scheptical hense my profile photo and username.

[@craigsellier5973]

It pisses me off as well. It wouldn't pay for me to walk in on something going on like this because I'm sure it wouldn't turn out good. I wouldn't even have to be friends or even have to know a woman to protect her from something like this. Automatically I know that it's not right and I'm the type of man that would be looking out for any young ladies. It's different if a woman is sober and makes bad decisions but for a woman to get wasted on the kind of the friend, he must've already had plans not only for himself but to set his homeboys up. That's not a man, none of the 3 were men, that's trash. Any good human being is going to protect another human being even if it means for them to lay down their life. That's the way I am, I'll lay down my life to protect another if that's what it takes, so be it. I'm ole school, these youngsters raised today most of them without a father figure in their home so they have no training, no guidance from a father figure. This is the kind that does this type of thing. Just know Amanda, you are okay and your body hasn't changed any because of what happened, it's all in your head darling and I can completely understand. You have the right to feel like you do, but don't feel dirty, used are damaged because you are still a beautiful soul. You are not scarred physically but I realize mentally it's really eating at you. Just know hun God is your strength. Stay close to God and I promise he will pull you through. God bless 🙌 🙏 you special lady and just know that I am praying 🙏 for you. Stay strong 💪. You are loved ❤.

[@Powerstroke98]

I'm with you, as having daughters myself, such things brings anger up that shouldn't have to be there. Your post is completely correct, and thanks for sharing it.

[@michellerukny]

Stay strong love. It happened to me to almost 20 years ago and nothing happened, but with lots of therapy and God helped me through it all!

[@colinanderson5986]

What as god got to do with it she can only help her self with friends and family not god 😂

[@bufferingsadhu]

Hi Amanda, I watched your story and broke into tears many times. I had to pause, recompose myself, and then continue a few times. But at the end of it all, I had a smile on my face, a lingering hope, a hope that you gave me. It was good to see you start a new endeavor. I can't thank you enough and appreciate you enough for sharing this story. I m a man from India, and the situation is worse here when it comes to victim shaming. I've personally known two girls who never reported the assaults that happened to them coz they were certain that society would shame them and certain that their families would punish them too. I have grown up with two sisters and I've seen how hard it is for women. I really applaud your courage. Hope you inspire a lot of women and men and children. Fly my friend, for sky is your limit

[@amandavillarini]

Hello Vinay! I’m sorry that my story made you sad, but I’m glad you were able to smile at the end. Your kind words have made my day brighter! Thank you for your support 💜

[@briannagravely9349]

Thank you for this video. What happened to you was absolutely 100% not your fault. You had every right to react the way you did. You did what you thought was best that night and morning with the information you had at the time. You were in survival mode the morning after. Its okay to mourn. Your sense of safety and autonomy were taken away. You are a beautiful person who deserves love and respect. Its perfectly natural to struggle with trust and intimacy after. It does not mean you are broken. 💜

[@amandavillarini]

hi Brianna 💜 thank you so so much for your support and your kind words.

[@howardmencini3040]

5 minutes later: Twerking to cardi b songs in front of children, fucking degenerates at gay parades & killing babies. Gtfo, you sluts love rapists. Probably watching 50 shades darker as we speak.

[@justmeashley7923]

It doesn’t matter if you drank until your liver fell out. That does not give anyone the right to do that to you. You’re very brave for speaking out. I want to share my story here with you, since im not yet brave enough to make a video. I was 22 and the DD to a party with some friends. At the time I was a very heavy drinker who partied a lot (I mean, I WAS 22) so I could definitely hold my liquor if I needed to. Well that night I had three beers over the course of six hours, so I most definitely would not have even been a tad tipsy let alone drunk. Well during the party I got vet very VERY tired. I decided I would just nap on the couch in the middle of the party. Safe enough right? Surrounded by people. Told my friends to wake me when they were ready to go. I could not keep my eyes open. Well fast forward X amount of time, I have no idea how long, and I wake up in a dark room, in a bed, with a man inside me. I was in so much shock that for a minute I didn’t say anything. I finally “came to” and told him he had 10 secs to gtfo me before I scream. He got off me and acted so shocked as to why I was in a panic. I couldn’t sit up for a solid 10-15 minutes cause my arms and legs were paralyzed. I don’t know what I was given or by whom but I know I was given something. When I got feeling back into my extremities I got up, put my clothes on and ran out of the room searching for my friends. When I found them I asked wtf happened. They said “I looked cold so they put me in a room with a blanket”. Wtf!? I never reported it. I’ve seen him a few times. He’s married with children. I don’t know him. Didn’t know him. But my friend did. Lessons learned. Careful who you trust. Don’t drink something you didn’t open and hold the whole time. Report your assault if you feel safe enough to do so. To try and prevent them from doing it again. So many props to you for being so brave. Big hugs. We’re not alone.

[@amandavillarini]

I’m so sorry that this happened :( thank you for sharing your story and for also being so strong to be able to keep moving forward!! We are not alone 🖤

[@ConcernedCiti-Zen]

Sounds like what Riley and Robicheaux did to those poor women in Newport Beach.

[@χρηστοςΔημητριου-χ4ξ]

Τι άνθρωποι υπάρχουν,ΦΡΙΚΤΟΊ...Λυπάμαι πολύ. Εύχομαι να είσαι καλά τώρα.

[@Cazador60140]

Is jair a Middle Eastern individual who thinks women are just c u m holes

[@josephriccardi9735]

I was raped by a police officer when I was intoxicated. I can relate so much to your story. I was in and out of conciousness. I took a rape kit also by a male doctor. It was so hard to get through. The detectives who investigated my case didn't believe me. They rather believe a cop instead of me. I did sue him and got money but I still rather have f him lose his job as a police officer. I still blame myself from r getting to drunk but doesn't a police officer try to help you instead of taking advantage of you. I was vomiting that night and still the sick bastard raped me. I admire your strength and talking about your story. Thank you for your strength and courage.

[@amandavillarini]

I’m so sorry to hear about what happened, but also thank you for sharing.. it’s so freaking sad to think these police officers that are supposed to keep the peace are the ones taking advantage of others... there’s not one single thing you did wrong that night. I hope you find peace💜

[@bluwater1422]

Im sorry that happened

[@FinnA07]

I respect you so much for this. This had to be so hard for you to record. Much love and strength

[@patrickgagnon9662]

I had that chance to take advantage many times , never did , stopped my friends a few times .....two kinds of people in this world .

[@UdayPratapSingh999]

It's unfortunate that such terrible incidents are happening and close one are behind it. World should be grateful to you that unlike most of the victims, you have shared your story, hence a large population might learn from your experience, be careful of such misuse of alcohol and drugs. Thanks for sharing your story.

[@amandavillarini]

Thank you for watching 💛

[@juliangilbert5465]

I'm sorry this happened to you. I'm father of 2, 58 years old. I just want you to know most men are not like this. Most of us would want to protect young women, not harm them. Best wishes. You're very brave. ❤

[@paulgrant2314]

I am a survivor of historical abuse while in care as a child it taken me 16 years to tell someone I told the police and in July 2005 my perpetrator was sentenced to 8 years in prison and he collapsed in the dock and I felt everything being returned ie my dignity and my pride my self respect and my innocence my heart goes out to all who do not get justice stay strong

[@amandavillarini]

I’m so sorry you had to go through that. Thank you for sharing your story, it gives me hope that some day I will also get justice.

[@AhmedHussein.81]

They sentenced him to 8 years with no evidence??

[@emiliomoran6160]

Thank you very much for being so clear and precise with your experience. I'm a father with two girls of 16 and 17 .They want more freedom to have a normal life any girl their age have. I'll show them your experience to let them know that any kind of precaution is needed always. I'm sure your intention of helping other girls, wil be satisfied

[@beastm0de585]

So sorry this happened to you. You seem like an amazing person. I always wish there was something I could do to help and make you feel better.

[@amandavillarini]

Your kind words are enough. Thank you 🙏🏼

[@Saullavado44]

Thank you for this. Seeing your pain touched me. I am really sorry this happened to you! I think you have a very feisty, bubbly, effervescent personality and a good brain. I am glad that you are finding help through counseling. I think you are a force to be reckoned with and will be even moreso as you get a good handle on this. I had things happen to me in childhood - broken trust big time. So say a little prayer for me if you will. Thank you and best wishes.

[@dougdunville686]

First of all, no one can take anything from you without you being involved. But I can so relate to feeling that something was taken from you, because that's exactly how I felt. You my lady are an example of courage and Braun × 10. Thank you. Sincerely Douglas Dunville Ontario, Canada.

[@themadbassist795]

Amanda this video just popped up for me. I watched it and it literally brought tears to my eyes. I am so sorry to hear of what happened to you! I can’t imagine the pain this caused you. You seem like a really cool person and deserve way better than what happened to you. I hope and pray for better days for you my friend! Bless your heart

[@daisyc1522]

stay strong bby❤️

[@amandavillarini]

daisy c thank you love 💘

[@amandavillarini]

Some comments come and go so idk if I’m replying to the right one but my insta is @amandaidalmis 💖

[@hannahroedder936]

I'm so sorry, thanks for sharing. May your story help arm someone with the knowledge of how to avoid such a situation, and what to do if it happens. I think the worst thing in my case is feeling that I should have done something. Even after almost 40 years I fight the urge to blame myself.

[@micmac_billyjack]

It took alot of courage to share your story and i could definitely feel your pain. You didn't deserve this bad experience but you sharing it will definitely help others to get through their own similar experience and even help others to avoid such unsuspecting situations. The svu should have had a female detective who specialized in sex assault to investigate your case. I hope someday the healing you need will arrive. You deserve that.

[@RedPillCosby-012]

Often in these cases the woman is if he rapist.

[@supreemcourt9181]

Detectives are blunt and nonchalant because they kno how these cases go. If it went to court, he’s basically pointing out all the loop holes that the guy’s lawyer would use against u. But to have your body evaluated after this happens makes the situation more traumatizing

[@chrisbrown-jw1fz]

I am so sorry this happened to you lady. God bless you.

[@toniacosta9388]

My heart hurts so bad after watching this. I am so sorry you had to go through this. I wish I could have been there to protect you. Life has always had a way to keep us apart. But soon I WILL be my “sisters keeper” I love you! And if ANYONE.... and i truly mean ANYONE ever makes you feel as if this in any way was your fault or tries to justify this behavior, I promise they are ohhh soo wrong. I love you Amanda!

[@alinaserrano3243]

This video helped me keep my sobriety today. I love you and you are such a beautiful inspiration. Keep thriving. ❤️

[@amandavillarini]

thanks love 💜 keep being strong!!

[@vanessaroyer5030]

I been sober year to i still struggle till this day

[@alinaserrano3243]

@@vanessaroyer5030 one day at a time. I struggle too but there’s nothing a drink. Or drug. Won’t make worse.

[@vanessaroyer5030]

@@alinaserrano3243 u right I'm 35 years old came along ways got 5 kids I live for them now

[@PeaceboneGotFound]

Thank you for sharing your story. You are so strong and please get the help you need for any PTSD symptoms and any ongoing impacts.

[@amandavillarini]

Thank you for your support 💜💜 I started seeking help a few weeks back :) I speak to someone regularly

[@bellatheartist01]

I'm so sorry this happened to you. Hope you are finding peace and healing. Stay strong. 💜💙

[@NilupulieSumanasiri]

I just looked through all the comments. And it was truely disturbing to see what everyone has gone through. I hope you all have moved on with your lives ❤️ You all deserve every happiness in the whole world.!

[@bluebbgbluelove5900]

Please can we help her get justice for this it’s not fair nothing happened, this is not okay and the detective should be fired that’s not okay! I am so sorry this happened to you

[@genevieve91]

If you guys are in the same country, please do something. Help her. Today it's she tomorrow who knows

[@AgathaVitoriaTavares]

I'm so sorry this happened to you... Thank you for sharing your story 🌻

[@amandavillarini]

Thank you for watching and above all, thanks for your support 💜✨

[@troyecara7017]

Found this video on its one year anniversary. I’m so sorry. I hope you are doing well and healing ❤️

[@amandavillarini]

Thank you for being so kind!!!! I’m actually seeing a therapist, face to face today :D no more zoom meetings hahaha, time for some much needed healing ! 💜

[@troyecara7017]

@@amandavillarini Yay that's great! I missed face to face interaction :)

[@williamledbetter2223]

I'm so sorry this happened to you...and to all the other women who have to navigate a society that is patriarchal and that puts all the onus on the woman to 'protect herself'. Since the time of your assault I'm hopeful that the 'me too' movement has started a lasting dialogue on the responsibility that men and society have to make the world a safe(r) place for women. The issue of affirmative consent is a good start, and some police are now receiving training on avoiding survivor shaming. But there is still so much more to go. We have a responsibility to teach our boys and men about the difference between masculinity and toxic masculinity. I send you my best wishes for your healing journey.

[@celeste7183]

Thank you for sharing your story. You are so strong and what happened to you was absolutely not your fault. Unfortunately, I can relate to your story. I was SA while drunk as well and the emotions and turmoil that carried after the incident I wouldn’t wish upon my worst enemy. I blamed myself for months and I still do sometimes even though I have evidence (txts) of the guy saying he’s sorry and got caught up in the heat of the moment but didn’t mean any harm. This led me to further convince myself that it must’ve been an understanding. Now it’s almost a year later and I have learned and grown but some of the same emotions you are talking about in this video are things I struggle with as well. I’m here for you if you ever want to talk or someone to listen ❤️

[@amandavillarini]

You are so kind!!! 💖 I appreciate you sharing your story with me.

[@elin3284]

I recently got sexually abused and I don’t know if I’ll ever fully recover it,mostly because I don’t remember most of it and I can’t process it. I just feel used and a part of me has gone missing, it’s hard to not feel like I owed it to him.

[@amandavillarini]

hi, I’m really sorry to hear you had to go through something like this :-( it will take time but I promise it gets easier. The most important thing to remember is that no matter what the circumstances were- you don’t owe anyone, anything EVER!!!! I don’t give a damn if you were drunk or led them on, etc. You are the sole decider of what happens to you and your body. I need you to know that you are loved and things will get better ❤️‍🩹 It is okay and normal to feel the way you feel. 100% valid to be angry and upset. Try not to hide those feelings/emotions. But please seek help, whether it’s from friends, family, counseling etc. don’t be afraid to reach out.

[@Mallikanair0407]

Your just so confident.....hats off to you for sharing this story....god bless you

[@amandavillarini]

Thank you🥺💖

[@freesoul2005]

As a father to two girls, I am shocked at selfish men

[@amandavillarini]

@@freesoul2005 this is why it’s so important to be present and teach your girls to stay far away from losers like this. Love and cherish your girls ❤️

[@genesishernandez1106]

you are so strong sharing your story lots of love xoxo you are not alone , it happend to me when i was 23 and my story its on my channel also trigger warning. we all want to share SA needs to stop at all ages male or female , and the after effect the aftermath of SA is life changeing but i want to say not alone if do feel you are alone . its never your fault

[@Liyalibrary]

[@amandavillarini]

Thank you beautiful 💜

[@karolarroyo5648]

You are so strong keep on going and thank you for you advice ❤ God bless you 🙏.

[@kevinwatkins1365]

Thank you for sharing your story with the world. From one survivor to another I know how difficult it is to have to tell your story. Thank you and God bless

[@pueblodonna4775]

Betrayed is the feeling

[@Lin-m2h]

This happened 35 odd years ago my drinks or drink were spiked i fell pregnant my son is now 36 my mother told me not to go to the police .this tramatised me throughout my life and my son has never known his father

[@isafcnobrega]

I'm so sorry, so deeply sorry about this!! You're so strong to come up here and tell your story, so brave, thank you for sharing!! Is there any other place I could share my story with you that's not out here?

[@amandavillarini]

Thank you 💖 you can always dm me on insta @amandaidalmis or email me at [e-mail] !!!

[@Powerstroke98]

I got to 'Ya know when you black out'...and I thought, no...I've been drunk a few times, but never blacked out! NEVER drink from someone's cup, and always keep a vigilant eye on your own cup, so this shit can't happen. Kids & adults, are dying every day, from Fentynal being added or simply 'taken', so why live a life with such risk...don't take ANYTHING at a party, that you haven't poured yourself . Thank you, for telling your story, as I bet it will help someone! You where brave to tell it, and I hope you've got past it as best you can, and that these guys you mentioned that this will be on their conscious, making it difficult for them one day as well.

[@ICE69ROG]

Sorry about what you went through. I don't think it would help to confront them about what happened, it would probably make it worse for you. In my opinion you would be better served to continue being strong and move on putting the whole thing behind you. Being served the way you were by the system that was supposed to help you is bad enough, but to continue rehashing it in your mind just makes it harder for you to move on. I wish you good luck in finding the happiness you deserve.

[@sc8452]

Wow, Im so sorry you had to go through that. I hope that you were able to get counseling or help. I know its a tough thing to experience you are so strong for telling your story its not easy ❤️

[@amandavillarini]

You're so kind! Thank you.

[@alanhenes1504]

God Bless! Thoughts and Prayers to heal

[@martinda7446]

You are amazing, I'm so impressed how together and brave you are. This isn't a case with any grey areas at all, blatant. I think they spiked your drinks too. I think you would be wonderful to have as a friend. Shame these guys couldn't see your qualities and just saw you as a sexual object. I'm late as usual, subscribed.

[@amandavillarini]

Thank you so much for the kind words, I appreciate it. And also thanks for subscribing :-)

[@firstpablo]

Amanda, I’m sorry you had to go through that. You certainly didn’t deserve this.

[@ArGenTina_562]

It's okay mami. You don't have to explain why you needed to vent through your channel. It's okay to vent my love. I'm listening. We all are here for you. I'm very sorry that this has happened to you. I understand how you feel. I've been there more than once so I get it. I'm here for you if no one else is. ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@amandavillarini]

thank u❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@ArGenTina_562]

@@amandavillarini you're welcome 🤗

[@nr6749]

Its not your fault that you didn't go straight to the hospital or did things like take a shower. I thinks its about 70% of victims don't even try to report. I was raped as a teenager and I didn't report, so many survivors don't for many reasons. Its crazy hard to think clearly when you just went through trauma. Every time survivors speak out it counts. It makes a HUGE difference for other people going through it.

[@amandavillarini]

thank you 💜

[@Jess-wk5jo]

@@amandavillarini how long in prison boy who 21 years old who rape or sexual assault girl who 21 years old in the uk

[@amandavillarini]

@@Jess-wk5jo not sure, it really depends on so many factors. Like if the assailant can even be persecuted? Is there evidence? What are your local laws on sexual assault? Too many factors involved.

[@dannyguillory8941]

The objectification of women, these perpetrators don't see a person as a person but as an object. The mindset of a rapist, serial killer, etc. all comes from the same place and sadly enough, it stems from low self-esteem, powerlessness and so they engage in this behavior. Anyone who deals with these types of crimes will say: rape is not about sex but power and control. Thank you for sharing your story. You're a good person and no one should ever have to go through what you went through.

[@caroleejohnson1553]

He will never say sorry.Don't hold your breath.

[@vanessa9198]

there was no signs and it’s not ur fault dawg ur really beautiful & ur not alone. 💜

[@vanessa9198]

I hope you get closure on that part of your life.

[@amandavillarini]

thanks my love! i'm so grateful to have sweet, beautiful people like you around :,-)

[@WayneLee-j4c]

YOU GOT THAT FREE SPIRIT THING DOWN GOOD.

[@raynewton7452]

I’m so sorry to hear this. Thanks for sharing. Good lesson for men and women.

[@bundy3331]

I'm so very sorry to hear what was done to you,, it was totally wrong/,, no excuses at all.. I would've hoped for those guys to be held accountable... I will be hoping an praying for your recovery an healing, That your not at fault at all. I'm just so sorry it happened to you, I hope the best for you in life. God Bless

[@stevendaniels5501]

First of all young lady that was very courageous of you I'm highly impressed right you sharing your story the way you did total honesty let me say first of all that you really have to be careful with the friends that you choose and how much you trust them anybody that does something like what they did to you will definitely be dealt with by the father that is what you call Karma and definitely know that they will suffer behind just know that you you have no control over that situation so let it go and let God because he definitely will I love your share definitely know you are a beautiful young lady always always keep your head up going about your life with a smile on your face all the negativity you have around you will block your blessings from coming down .

[@stevendaniels5501]

💖😜

[@kyimblack5215]

None of my stuff has ever been reported because i know this is exactly what will happen. Nothing. Literally nothing. Unfortunately, my daughter went through similar a couple of years ago when she was 6, and i did report those things. Neither person who did these things were ever properly punished. She is STILL on a waiting list for counselling and they REFUSE to give me any kind of counselling. Its gotten to the point the services do not like me because i call too much. The victims always seem to be at fault regardless of age and its disgusting. Ive given up trying at this point. The best ive been able to do is try and write about everything thats happened. Its not a physical book, but ive been posting online. I hope youre doing better 🥰

[@f.maria7835]

People like that guy should be put to jail

[@angelslacks9441]

I'm sorry this happened Amanda. Keeping you in my prayers. Take care ❤

[@amandavillarini]

thank you ❤️

[@atdyn6427]

That's horrible. I'm so sorry you went through that.

[@bryanrucker8256]

Stay strong I know you can get Through this. Keep telling your story

[@AlanMordue-hx5wv]

I feel for you Amanda, how horrible. I am an Englishman and coincidentally I was in San Antonio recently. men need to stop treating women like objects, these guys disgust me!!!

[@MikkalSuleman]

thank you, you make me feel brave enough to face it

[@monyjohnson6032]

Moral to this story…guys aren’t allowed to not be responsible for their actions when they’re drunk and girls should never drink anything that they didn’t make or watch be made. Sucks that your friend was involved tho

[@RedPillCosby-012]

Often women are the drunk rapist. And don't remember but assume the guy raped them. If women always blamed themselves and never took responsibility wouldn't the narrative be female perpetrators and male victims yet it's the opposite. Often drunk women's own behavior is hyper sexual while alcohol actually lowers male a drive . From waste down. And more often pass out.

[@rachelrepp9333]

i just wanted to say how important this video was for me, i was s3xually a66lted for almost a year straight by my moms ex, ad r'ed by my ex annd this video mad me feel so much stronger than ive ever been and its been over 2 years since both, watching u explain ylour story makes me feel so much more power over my emotions and feel so nice to tell my story to my counclor

[@stephendenehey2809]

It could happen to anyone at a party. Dreadful that no one was watching out for you this time. Closure means at some point you need to confront him and discuss what happened. He owes you big time for the pain he has put you through. You did not deserve it. No one does.

[@jellams1317]

This video is quite old when I watched. But as a Social Worker and worked as a victim advocate in michigan. I have heard a few stories like this. I am so sorry the system is or was so f up. You sound like you have certainly had normal reactions to a abnormal event. I feel every thing you said is a normal feeling and you did nothing wrong. I hope you are living a wonderful life that you would want

[@amandavillarini]

thank you.

[@callmejohnnylovecreator6042]

Put his full name and include his picture in the extended description or as a comment or anywhere he can be thoroughly look at, pls

[@johngeraldcalhoun1944]

your beautiful inside and outside. not your fault stay strong hun

[@jerseygirlforever8722]

Amanda thank you so much for sharing your story, you are not alone. Your so-called friend is a real scumbag and should have had your back! Just keep it moving forward and just take the lessons learned and get whatever helps heal you. I think you are cute as a button! So I have subscribed to your channel! God bless you, sweet girl. Lean on God and he will help heal your heart.

[@troy528986562]

Trust becomes more difficult after those things happen

[@playinem121]

I am a retired attorney who did some criminal defense work including a stint as a Public Defender. First I would like to salute you for having the bravery to tell your story. The truth is however that this is a cautionary tale for all young females who put themselves in. That kind of situation. It may not be fair but Justice is and if someone like you was on the flip side of this you would probably be complaining vociferously about the injustice of being prosecuted/persecuted criminally for a situation like this. It is virtually impossible for the state to prosecute a crime like this. The people you feel victimized you most likely did not reach out to you after the fact because the authorities advised them to have no contact with you. Again IAm sorry this happened to you but, I will use it as a teaching moment for my granddaughters…if you don’t want to find yourself in a bad situation, don’t put yourself in what is potentially a very bad situation. I hope you are able to move forward and live the rest of your life.

[@samanthaw5148]

It wasn’t your fault and I hope one day you get some kind of closure or feeling of peace. What happened to you will never be okay but you are resilient. Thank you for sharing with us. 💙

[@amandavillarini]

Thanks for the support 💜

[@genevieve91]

Hurting to watch this video 😢 I was kind of hoping for justice n punishment for the culprit but it didn't end that way, ... Karma will find them. What a brave girl you are. You must be saving a lot of girls thru this video👍. I felt your pain esp about the medical n legal procedure thereafter. Stay strong girl Love you lots

[@EKMODELS-du6xs]

One of my best friends ( who is a girl - I’m a boy ) had this at 5 years old when her brother claimed she had rashes, then forced her to undress etc to proove that *she didn’t have rashes.* he also took photos of her in this state… then he did truly inappropriate things… he pulled down his pants, and physically pushed her head and opened her mouth snd forced her to suck on his thing… He said it would solve the rashes… he then did innapropriste things again, took more photos, played with her more etc… It’s crazy how she casually mentioned this to me when we were 12… I had fo explain ti her that this wasn’t normal and that her brother should DEFINITELY not be taking photos of her when she’s not wearing clothes, or anything else she had done to her. Finally she reported him and he was sent to Juvi… In court he claimed that this was his only chance to see a girl naked before puberty… he had a mental disorder that made him continue what he was doing, and didn’t ring any bells to tell him to stop, so his sentence was cut short… the fact that as part of the whole ordeal, we were forced to see these pictures is discusting… He’s finished his sentence now and is pleading for her forgiveness, saying he was just curious as to what it looked like, she also found her bra and underwear that she had worn in his room, where she had definitely not left them… regardless of disorder or not, it’s never ok to lie to someone, and then try to look at their private regions… another time in school, he sat next to his sister, and put his hand up her skirt, pulled down her underwear and put his finger up her bu$ for the whole lesson… since she only revealed THSI lately, as well as many other things he did, which since I doubt anyone reads this comment I won’t list unless someone asks, it’s just discusting of him…

[@heavenhoops5032]

Your ridiculously strong sister I love you and God loves grow and build a relationship with Him and He will heal your soul and spirit 🙏

[@harshakamat6883]

You are so strong Amanda. Stay strong.😊☺️

[@willworkfordoge]

wonder if you could sue them in civil court.

[@darrahnichole]

Thank you💕

[@shashalarose4053]

First Time Here!, U I’ve A NewSubie🤍 I Understand U Going Through Also😭💔🙏🏽👌🏾💯

[@edithalexandra_31]

So sorry they haven’t done anything you should get justice yourself girl

[@DJcyberslash]

Woah they make you do all that for the kit? That is crazy. So sorry to hear that.

[@timmorey9844]

Hello Amanda, I watched your video and listened very intently. Very sorry for you, only you know how you feel inside and only you can Heal yourself. Thru no fault of you own and to be honest due to the fact that the Local P.D.are over whelmed and inadequate to say the least you were not connected to the right people who could have and would have found the truth and acted on it, I can say this with certainty. The Texas Rangers are the absolute best regarding matters such as this but you could not have known at the time. If you still have the desire to gain some closure I would suggest making contact with them. They will put you in contact with the Rangers who handle these matters. Again I hope you can have some inner peace and God Bless. I live a hundred miles south of you in Skidmore.

[@amandavillarini]

hi Tim :) I appreciate the kind words, thank you!!

[@deborahbaker4770]

You are very brave and I don’t feel that men should be in a special victim’s unit because most men are not that empathetic in that situation I’m sorry that it happened to you but your video may help someone else in your same situation !! Today is February 1 2021 and I just subscribed to your channel. 👍🏻 🙏🏻🙏🏻

[@joejackson73]

I'm very sorry that you had to endure this!!!!

[@amandavillarini]

thanks for your support 💜

[@rosendoperez6677]

Dam I give her props for staying a virgin till after high school but imagine the man that has to marry her after she been ran through.

[@whiskeybuilder6335]

So sorry you had to endure this. Chin up kiddo! Life is what you make it. Don't allow these losers to take one more minute of happiness from you.

[@amandavillarini]

Exactly what I intend to do 💜

[@euskedyzestoa2008]

Que mujer tan fuerte y entera! A tu edad pasar todo eso es realmente traumático y pesado MUY pesado, ojalá como dices les sirva a muchas jóvenes y se salven, ese tipo de situaciones en fiestas modernas no sabe uno en que terminarán, cuídate mucho chica hermosa ojalá puedas re-hacer tu vida tienes muchos años por delante, saludos desde Mexico, en donde este tipo de casos se da por todos lados y es imparable y total impunidad, God bless...

[@amandavillarini]

Muchísimas gracias por el apoyo, ojalá todo te vaya bien 💖

[@GianiPerr-gj5nd]

I'm very sorry for you. My daughter was physically and sexually abused by her ex-boyfriend for years before she told us. When she finally got him arrested for beating her, he got out of jail 3 days later, dumped the oil in my car and destroyed the engine. He also removed the lug in our brake caliper a year prior which almost killed my entire family. Long story short, my daughter has a restraining order against him that she has to renew every year and he had to take sensitivity training. The cops did NOT press rape charges due to lack of evidence, despite there was bruising on her body when he got arrested. The cops would NOT question him about sabotaging our cars since we didn't have clear video evidence of his face. My daughter has never been the same since. There isn't a day that goes by that I feel eaten up inside for her and also contempt for the justice system failures. I pray for karma against this scumbag but most importantly, I pray he doesn't continue doing this to other women. You are incredibly brave for making this video and I thank you for sharing.

[@amandavillarini]

@@GianiPerr-gj5nd hi there. I appreciate you watching my video and sharing your experience. Wishing nothing but love and light for your family ❤️ love prevails and I hope she is able to find it.

[@jessealtamirano3931]

Felicia is just as guilty she let it happen what a friend

[@amandavillarini]

@@jessealtamirano3931 lmao blame everyone except the person who actually did it 👍🏻

[@bigbro8817]

You did it. Take accountability and make better decisions ​@@amandavillarini

[@jwillzcommonsence8870]

I guess the signs would be wanting to get waisted at a party around a bunch of teen guys!! Doesn’t give them rights to your body, bt it opens the door for those kind of ppl to have the opportunity

[@brittanybittner3881]

I watched your video im soo sorry I went through a sexual assault too I was drugged with the date rape drug and I didn't remember a lot that happened I found out for sure when I got the rape kit and it was positive I also had bruises and stuff on me it really sucks but the guy was arrested and convicted he's in jail still im glad you had the courage to tell your story 💟

[@amandavillarini]

Thank you for your support and thanks for sharing 💜

[@lukehorning3404]

Well done and I’m very sorry

[@carlosmark9840]

I’ve heard this exact story before somebody is lying

[@3AholesMedia]

Any time a young guy invites a girl to a party, whether it was him or not, SOMEBODY at the party will try to do something dumb as fuck. Been this way since electricity was invented. Always use a drink that has a lid, and do not let it out of your sight. Peopularity and socialization is the harbinger of sinister plots.

[@louismcdermott5350]

Karma's a bitch he'll get what he deserves sooner or later. 💯

[@MsLBsugar]

You are not alone.