MY STILLBIRTH STORY | Finding out our son had passed

If you would like to see more of Jameson and our journey through infant loss you can find me on Instagram @RachelDarlin

[@1northernchoice]

My stillborn twin girls would be 35 years old this year 😢. Sending hugs and compassion. You are not alone.

[@laurenbuford8052]

Dee Engler I lost one twin. I was pregnant with two girl. They were identical. I’m sure losing both is harder than I could imagine but losing one is the weird mix of emotions. I was so so depressed because I lost my little Everly she was gone and I had no future or ever get to see her move and grow but then came Alaya. She was healthy and crying and moving and we have our whole life together to celebrate but she wouldn’t have her first best friend her identical sister.

[@amythomas1124]

Dee, and Lauren, I remember my Mom talking about my Sister being extremely active like the woman in this video stated. About two weeks before Mom’s due date, my Sister was very still and silent for a long time. Mom was assured that this happens all the time. The baby goes dormant right before birth. My Sister was stillborn 7/9/1956.

[@1northernchoice]

Amy Thomas my oldest sister who was full term was still born. My mom thought it was unusual for baby to have no movement and she went to the doctor. He told her that it was normal and she was just an anxious first mom. She waited 2 weeks before going into labor and the baby had cord around her neck. This was in the 40’s and just accepted it as an act of God. I have always known that I have another sister, the oldest child of my parents . I am the 6th and the baby. My parents have both passed and its a comfort to think they are with my sister.

[@amythomas1124]

Dee Engler My Mom had 6 children too, my Sister that was stillborn, was the oldest. I am the fourth in line. I have two older brothers and two younger brothers. My Mom passed away December 2018. My Dad turns 85 this Saturday.

[@edgarallanpoestheblackcat6613]

Dee Engler how did you lose both?

[@307ranchwife]

I’m an ultrasound tech and I specialize in OB specifically. I’m absolutely heartbroken that nobody took the time to listen to you. We can’t change the outcome but videos like this make me listen extra hard to my patients. Your boy is still changing lives. Congratulations on Daisy. She’s beautiful.

[@307ranchwife]

NY Nurse at my clinic the tech can change the exam ordered based on the scenario at hand. If the doc orders a growth and there’s IUGR, I can do a BPP and cord dopplers even though they weren’t ordered. I didn’t blame anyone. I just said I listen to my patients.

[@amylaub0707]

See, I also thought it was weird that the tech said she couldn't do anything more than what the doctor ordered. That really bothers me. I work in a vascular surgeons office and we have full-time u/s techs in our office; if a patient presents for, say, an arterial duplex but tells the tech that they have a history of an abdominal aortic aneurysm and they have concerns about possibly showing symptoms of endo leak, the tech will simply move that magic wand up to the abdomen and take a gander. Takes no time at all and if worst came to worst, they could simply not bill for it. It's about making sure the patient is safe first and foremost. In this poor woman's case, even if they thought they could get into trouble for scanning a section that wasn't ordered, they could just run out and get permission from the doctor. Pretty simple if you ask me. That woman was being lazy, pure and simple.

[@307ranchwife]

Amy Laub, right? At the end of the day it’s about the patients and doing what’s right. My docs will sign any order after the fact because that’s why we walk in those doors every single day: to protect our babies and mamas. I love your AAA analogy. That’s what probably makes us better at our jobs, because sometimes we can see outside the box and take off our blinders.

[@amylaub0707]

@@307ranchwife I couldn't agree more! It's absolutely imperative that every healthcare provider do everything in their power to do what's best for the patients. I try to imagine everyone who needs our help as a family member of mine, which can actually help me to put things into perspective. While helping a patient, I guess I sort of subconsciously (and wordlessly) think about the situation and it comes down to the verbal approximation of "How would I feel if this was my own father laying down on this table in front of another healthcare worker? How would I want someone to treat him in this scenario? What would I want someone to do for me if I myself were in such a situation?" Maybe you do this too. I think the people who lose sight of this are the same one's who do things (or more to the point, who DON'T do things) like the u/s tech in this woman's story. In my experience from the point of view of the patient, the attitude of a single nurse, be it good or bad, can either make or break the whole experience at a hospital. I had one really uncaring nnurse when I gave birth to my son and it made me want to change to an entirely new hospital next time around. The bedside manners of hospital (and even office staff like myself) are so important and these people have more power than they think. We really need more people like you in the field, that's for sure!

[@franciscaogoy5603]

Omg im from philippines it could have been happen to me if the doctors here did not listen to my concern... When i told them that my baby didnt moving for a couple of hours they hurriedly ordered me to have an ultrasound and they learned that i should have CS delivery because im already in labor but no pain and they said my amniotic fluid was already broken which i didnt noticed because it was my first baby... All have known was i had to feel pain when labor is coming... But i noticed that my baby hadnot moving so i went to hospital

[@krembry08kentucky]

I learned my sweet baby Henry’s heart stopped beating at 37 weeks 6 days. I had him two days later on July 20th 2018. He was so perfect and I had zero problems in my entire pregnancy. I’m so lost and I feel so empty. Listening to your story is helping me not feel so alone. I just wanted to tell you that

[@TannerandRachel]

Krembry I’m so so so sorry. Do you have Instagram? You’re so not alone and there are sadly so many supportive woman who are going through the same thing right now. It’s so unfair and this should never happen to anyone. You can add me and we can talk there... my instagram is racheldarlin

[@ladyvgelin3870]

Firstly I'm soo soo sorry for your lost. I recently lost my baby girl at 28 week on Thursday august 30 went to a regular doctors visit everything was going fine until they listened for a heart beat I almost fell to my knees I was rush to the hospital and had to deliver that day😣 I can't sleep I can't eat I feel so lost and empty

[@TannerandRachel]

So awful... I’m so so sorry. I can’t believe how often this happens. It shouldn’t happen.

[@catherinerothe7629]

Krembry my son birthday is July 22. You can msg me anytime sweetheart my Facebook is love khan. Love from Australia.

[@krembry08kentucky]

Valin Gelin I'm so sorry! My Instagram is krembry if you want to talk. About anything. 💜 I would love to talk with you

[@Quinnsmithhh]

My twin brother was stillborn and his name is Jamison. Finding this video and hearing your story brought tears to my eyes. It is a sign from him that I found you. We both lost our Jami(e)sons. You are so brave for sharing your story. God Bless you.

[@Adriann1973]

Firstly I’m so very sorry for your loss. Secondly I’m APPALLED at the hospital treatment you received!

[@anonnymouz6826]

Its a hospital!

[@erinwilson9282]

i am currently a nurse in training (completed through my high school) and i just want to say to you that after listening to your story and seeing your heartache, i can make a promise that i will always listen to my patients and try my best for each and every one of them. i am appalled and heartbroken that nobody listened to you and then at the the chain of events that followed. i promise to always try my best. thankyou for inspiring me to be better. thankyou for sharing your story. you are so strong💛

[@jazzy679]

Yes please. Nurses are the ones that us(patients) see the most and remember the ones who've either treated us like crap or were complete Angels. Please be the complete Angel always. And always remember we know our bodies for the most part so trust our worry😔

[@emilysadventurousedits8872]

She just said she would. And thank you, Erin, for being such a wonderful nurse...we need more nurses like you! I feel encouraged knowing there are good people like you out there. I would be so angry if what happened to Rachel happened to me.It's so heartbreaking :(

[@victoriarandle5190]

Nursing student and mom here too. This is why I’m terrified of mother-baby/OBGYN 😢😞😔

[@1master6]

I started typing this and just kept deleting it. Because I know that there is no words that will make you feel better and I’m sure your tired of hearing sorry for your loss. Your so strong for making this video. 😘

[@myahbeautiful8461]

The second you said “it’s ok” , I KNEW EXACTLY what you meant and I just started crying and wish I could comfort you.

[@Coconutvr-r1z]

For some reason, your “last moments” video showed up in my recommendations. I’m a sucker for heartache and beautiful, sorrowful moments so I watched, crying the whole time. It reminded me of when my two kids were born, and I just wanted to go kiss them while they were sleeping because I couldn’t imagine having to tell them goodbye. Listening to this, I think you are a wonderful storyteller. I would’ve honestly been crying the entire time, but you are so strong. I got so angry for you having to experience this ineptness and coldness of some of this medical staff during an already traumatic birth. When you talked about your water being broken and that being his home, I cried. You sound like a very caring and thoughtful mom and like you just want the best for your baby, and as a fellow mom, I just can’t imagine the guilt I would feel and how much I would beat myself up over every little thing. I can’t imagine the postpartum recovery without a baby. I just ache for you, but I am in awe of your strength. I just wanted to leave a comment and let you know how much your perfect, beautiful little boy impacted me. I hope I haven’t offended you in any way. ❤️

[@selena4577]

I’m so sorry momma, I know your pain. I just lost my son on July 5 2018 at 32 weeks😔. It’s a pain that no one else can understand unless they have gone through it. Unfortunately they grew their wings too soon, We now have angels watching over us💙. May God always bless you and your family❤️.

[@TannerandRachel]

Luna I’m so so so sorry 😔💕

[@HelinArslanx]

I also lost my son at 32 weeks in March😪😪

[@Talaylove]

So sorry for your lost

[@selena4577]

Hel In I’m so sorry for your loss😔. It’s so hard trying to move forward with life. I feel like I’m still stuck in the same place

[@HelinArslanx]

Luna It really is! Breaks my heart into pieces to see many people who goes through this. But never give up, try to always have your chin up and look forward. Im currently 11 weeks pregnant to our rainbow. Our angels will never be forgotten, will always be in our heart. They are watching us and im sure they will do anything for their parents to be happy. Take care of yourself xxx

[@virgleo]

He will be back in your arms, the perfect baby boy he is and you will have eternity to hold him, God bless.

[@ShawnPicquelle]

I don’t know why this video was recommended to me. It’s the longest video I have ever watched on KZbin.i just couldn’t stop it in the middle. I am sooo sorry for your loss. It’s so heart breaking what you went through.Really feel your pain. Nobody should ever go through this. Your son was an angel. He wasn’t meant for this world. Just remember he is always around you. Watching over you. Stay strong sister!!!

[@Onemillionbucks]

This story really touched me. Bad story teller? You carefully choose your words and made me feel like I was there, that day, with you guys. Youre a wonderful mother. Our babies change us in so many ways.

[@allisong6971]

The amount of suffering you had to endure :( :( Losing a child there are no words. I can't imagine being an ultrasound tech and denying you information about YOUR body and YOUR baby. May God protect you and comfort you and give you peace and blessings unimaginable

[@PatriciaSmyle]

As a med student and hopefully a future doctor, I’m blown away by the lack of professionalism and humanity of some of those doctors... I am so sorry that they treated you that way Your videos has helped so many people in so many different ways ! It made me realize that it is so important not to forget that patients are extremely vulnerable and they need to be properly taken care of !

[@jazzy679]

You have no idea how much compassion some Drs lack. On my first loss, I was in the ER at 20 weeks pregnant bleeding and cramping for hourse before I was seen by an on call OB. Only for her to arrive and tell me I was now 4cm dilated and in labor. I found out after I lost my daughter by an Angel of a nurse who told me to look into cerclage for my next pregnancy. Well I ended up looking into it and I couldve had a emergency cerclage which could have saved my daughter and my pregnancy. Well for my 2nd pregnancy I saw a specialist who told me I didnt need a cerclage because my cervix looked great at 13 weeks pregnant. Well following the "specialists" orders I didnt get the cerclage and ended up having my water break at 16 weeks pregnant, seeing my OB to see what the next steps would be and she said with no emotion on her face "okay so youre going to have to go to Labor and Delivery and deliver your baby" and of course my baby wouldnt survive at 16 weeks. Not until I switched Drs to the most caring and compassionate specialist I now have, I didnt trust Drs and still dont. I always ask for second opinion or have them recheck anything I feel weird about.

[@leonarddungey2483]

Really am so sorry for your loss, you never forget but each day it does get a little easier, we lost twins 51 years ago, one was a stillbirth and its twin was born the next day but only lived for 12 hours, I carried them both in a white coffin and they were buried in a local cemetery which I still visit today and put flowers on there stone, some might say why after all this time, well they are my children and you do all you can for them and you love them whether they are with you or not. We had a son after and was born healthy and strong, our twins weren't meant to stay on earth but came to us for a specific reason that God knows. Being a spiritualist I know they have a higher purpose in the next life and I know this so well. Even today I get emotional when I hear of peoples loss, you never forget, you have your lives here to live out so please love all those in your life, God Bless

[@bethanylotts861]

Leonard Dungey qm

[@berenicesanchez5189]

Momma you will see them the day that the Lord called us to His presence! Your beautiful twins souls are in heaven waiting for you!!!

[@berenicesanchez5189]

I’m sorry papa!

[@brielizabeth3986]

Leonard Dungey I wish I can love this post

[@lmead0305]

Hello, i wanted to say thank you! Two weeks ago i lost my baby girl Sofia at just 20 weeks. You have given me comfort and peace. I still go over what happen to me and my boyfriend has been nothing but a tragic story. I do regret that I didn't do the skin to skin contact but, she was also fragile state. I was able to have both of our parents there and we blessed her. To me that was extremely important. (I know all babies go to heaven) but, its just bfor piece of mind. I am so sorry for your loss. As I truly understand.. Thank you for sharing-Lira

[@leejury7183]

My baby died 2 weeks before her due date she would b "9" this year 😓😢

[@kittykay088]

Lee Jury mine too(2019)Feb 14, 2010 💔 it still hurts so much. Her name was Juliette Evangeline.

[@frankiecady3895]

@@kittykay088 That is a beautiful name ma'am. And I lost my husband about 5 years ago and I think about it every day. It is hard to lose someone that you love.

[@kittykay088]

Frankie Cady so sorry for your loss 💔 We lost my sister in law two days after child birth to her still born baby. I cannot fathom your pain, but yes, it’s so hard to lose a loved one. I am sorry for your loss, I don’t know what I would do if I lost my husband 😭😭😭

[@frankiecady3895]

@@kittykay088 Thank you ma'am. I am sorry for your loss. Any loss is hard. I am a gay man and I had a crush on this guy in high school. Legal marriage wasn't legal and I was hated and sent death threats for being gay. My family disowned me and kicked me from there life. I moved away and married the love of my life, Cody James. He died because he tried to help this young woman that was going to commit suicide. She was hanging from the side of a bridge and he rushed to help her and he fell. He saved her but he fell and was hit by a car going 60mph. He broke every bone in his body and died 9 hours later. Thank you for your kindness. I love you Karla Monreal. We need more amazing women like you and thank you for taking the time to read this ❤

[@mary-xs7fu]

Frankie Cady I am so sorry he died! He was a kind person trying to save and young lady from committing suicide! Hope he went to heaven. Amen And the cars should notice he is there!

[@aliciahumphrey8687]

That hospital sounds terrible.

[@laurenbuford8052]

Alicia Humphrey I read this comment when I was in the began of the video and I thought to myself most hospitals suck I’m sure this one was just a little below average. I’m an obgyn so I know how bad a lot are but this one was so so terrible. I hope someone reports them

[@ashlieleavelle]

So sorry for your loss. The treatment you received is terrible. My employer is an OBGYN.....if her staff treated a patient poorly in such a loss they would be fired. Please go talk to Hospital administration. They will make things right. If you don't speak to them this can go on and other patients will be mistreated. There needs to be accountability.

[@DestinyDW]

Agreed, when you want something checked, jest check it.

[@Kelly-xp3wm]

I agree, but, they definitely can’t make things right. Her baby is dead because of them.

[@ladyp5828]

Sadly there is no accountability. Do you know how many pregnant mothers go in with concerns? So many. Luckily in most cases everything is fine. As Rachel experienced herself a few times before her son sadly passed. There is no way they can tell which babies will make it or not. They reacted so quickly when she went in. Which is what you would hope for and expect. There was no way they could have known. They don’t routinely check for the cord around the neck. As most babies that have that are born ok. It’s not usually a cause for intervention. They probably wouldn’t have been able to see the knot in the cord without checking the whole thing which would be hard. And as Jameson was growing fine and not showing any signs of distress they wouldn’t have seen it as needed. I have heard horror stories about other women being treated very badly by doctors and nurses in this type of situation. I don’t believe this is the case in this situation in the video. The staff sounded very supportive and did everything they could. We don’t know why some babies die in the womb. Sometimes there is a cause. Others we just never know. It’s an awful situation to be in. And often parents want someone to blame. Some mothers sadly blame themselves. Others may blame their partner. And more still will blame the hospital and staff. Yes in some cases staff negligence has caused death during birth. But in this case Jameson was sadly already gone. Let’s try not to lay blame when there is none.

[@louisacapell]

​@ladyp5828 no!!!! They should have done more investigation with her pain! She shoukd have been getting stress tests! Thry shoukd have monitored her for hellp or choleostasis. They ignored her concerns.

[@emovitaminwater]

I don't know why I clicked on this but I believe everything happens for a reason. I'm literally typing this with tears in my eyes. But when you said "I'd do this all again" has given me strength. thank you. you're a true mother and hero.

[@ninafox5041]

It took me 50 years to know that my intuition is never wrong. I am so sorry for your loss and the pain you suffered. I think you are an amazing woman. Many blessings to you & yours

[@ktykat79]

I’m only 10 minutes in & I just wanted to pause to tell you how strong you are for telling your story. It’s not easy to talk about losing a child. I also want to say I understand what you mean about the coldness of the ER u/s tech. It didn’t come across as rude at all. I am a nurse & I’ve seen doctors, techs, & other nurses that can be very curt or to the point. It’s actually sad honestly. It would have just taken her an extra second to look & either put your mind at ease or contact your OB with a concern. Compassion is never a burden & taking an extra second to put a patients mind at ease is such a small thing to do. Hugs to you & you’re in my thoughts! 💖

[@TannerandRachel]

Christina Thurston thank you so much for saying that... I definitely agree

[@txrnursebsn8974]

Agreed, Madison. I’m so very sorry Rachel & Tanner. Holding you all in my thoughts & prayers❤️🌎🙏🏼

[@mvp_1206]

I didn't feel my daughter move for almost 24 hours and I thought I was losing fluids so I went in to the hospital 3.5 weeks before her due date, they measured my fluid and almost decided not to induce me, I had a gut feeling we really should induce so they did after I expressed my thoughts. I feel so sad that you went to the hospital so much and didn't get the attention you really needed, I believe your intutition knew what was going on. My heart is with you and I'm so happy to see you are pregnant with your rainbow baby.

[@vanessapodkomorski942]

I just delivered my sleeping baby two weeks ago at 24 weeks. It was the hardest thing for me to go through in my life. On the day we went in for the ultrasound and found out he died, I had a pain right above my stomach and thought he was up high. Thank you for sharing, it helps other mothers going through the same thing.

[@creatingitonedayatatime]

You story is so touching. Your loss is unbelievable. You are an angel to share your experience with the world.

[@pantoponrosegoatoe4129]

I’ve been a L&D nurse for 20 years. I’ve assisted in many tragic deliveries like this. I am mortified of your experience you had with the hospital staff! I am so sorry about that. I’m sending you guys lots of love 🌹

[@djbrec]

It is so angering to hear you specifically asked and were denied to check the cord.... My heart is with you and praying for you wherever you are in your grief please know you are being thought of from people all over the globe! My love to you and your entire family, Jameson as well ❤️

[@GuadalupeGuacamole]

Sono tech and RN here, we can ONLY do the exam ordered. It’s on the doctor not the tech. There is NO ONE to blame here.

[@frankiecady3895]

Why was she denied?

[@GuadalupeGuacamole]

Caramel Cupcake not a bitch, just doing her job ethically and legally. You have no clue what you’re talking about.

[@GuadalupeGuacamole]

Frankie Cady an anatomical exam was not ordered for that sonogram...it was only to check fluid levels.

[@GuadalupeGuacamole]

Caramel Cupcake do you think cashiers can just give stuff away at the store to the homeless people sitting outside the window? Yeah no. Professionals in medicine like me have licensure and ethnics that guide our decisions and actions, NOT emotions, that’s why we do what we do and you don’t.

[@mollynicolehome]

My heart broke watching this, I'm sending you so much love 💕😔

[@teerrppss]

i had 2 knots in my chord when i was born and it was around my neck my mom told me. she also had a bad epidural and was paralyzed from the neck down for a few weeks after having me and i thought that was traumatizing but listening to this made me cry and i just want to say i'm so sorry for your loss. he's always with you. many blessings to you, you are such a beautiful soul with a strong intuition.

[@lisadement2363]

Ohh. My. Hugs. I lost my son at brith. Still Bron. 3 /17 2000. I'm sorry. I know the pain. And I understand ohh. I'm crying with you. I live it each day. .. never had. Another. One. I never forget the first time and last time I held. Him.

[@Alyssaajaadee]

I found your channel last night. I’m Watching these videos now and I’m just heartbroken... heartbroken by the way they shrugged you off before there was something wrong. And heartbroken over the way some of the doctors treated you during the process... ugh I’m so sorry 😪😢 I hugged my babies extra tight ... I know how lucky I am..

[@aisha3484]

This is the saddest video I've ever seen and I was crying with you. I've had a miscarriage two weeks ago, I was pregnant with my first baby, after a year of trying. It broke my heart. I don't know how to deal with it. I feel for every single mother who has to go through that pain. It's almost unbearable. I wish I could hug you all.

[@virgocunt]

I’m pregnant I’ll be 28 weeks this Monday, if I feel like something is wrong and I’m not being listened to. SOMEONE WILL GET PUNCHED. You’re so strong mama. ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️

[@pinkkvintagexxx]

This happened to me as well... 5 years ago on Mother’s Day at 22 weeks with my son, Maverik. I totally understand why you made this video. Every day for the longest time after it happened to me I would replay everything over and over in my head because I was so afraid I would forget the details.... thank you for making this video. Losing a baby truly makes you feel alone, isolated, and alienated. Thank you for sharing your story and keeping your babies memory alive. 💜

[@laurensmith0710]

You are SO, SO STRONG mama. Your story touched my soul. I cannot imagine what you guys went through. I just cannot imagine. Hearing you tell your story, felt so real. You’re emotions, your pain, your knowledge, you’re detail. Your son will forever be your beautiful angel. I see that you welcomed a beautiful little girl into this world earlier this month. I know that must have been such a blessing and a huge relief. Just know, Jameson will always be the greatest big brother and protector to your sweet little Daisy Mae. I’m proud of you for sharing your heartbreaking story. I hope this helps you always preserve all your memories of sweet Jameson. He’s with you every single day. You know that. You feel that. He’s proud of you and Tanner, and he’s certainly proud to be a big brother now. Bless you and your beautiful family. 💕

[@lauraferrera1012]

I’m so very sorry you lost your sweet baby boy. My heart literally breaks for you. As I listened to your story it paralleled mine in so many ways. 😔 I lost my firstborn son in January of this year at 40 weeks 4 days. He had a nuchal cord 2x. Sending my thoughts and prayers from one broken momma to another...I’m so sorry! 😢

[@TannerandRachel]

Laura Ferrera I am so so so incredibly sorry that you can relate to me. 😔 it is something no one should ever feel. My heart is with you and your sweet boy.

[@caitlinslavich2800]

So sorry for your loss Laura we lost our little girl at 40 weeks 4 days also due to Nuchal cord 2x in May last year 😔 Condolences to you and your family

[@giorgiaperotti9517]

Maybe that ultrasound tech couldn’t tell you whether the cord was wrapped or not but she could have at least said, let me find out if we can check for that or at least been more kind and sympathetic. I am so sorry for your loss and the treatment you received. My heart is with you.

[@m__a_]

Exactly, or at least check, she didn't need to give the answer. But if it was, at least she could have gone out of the room to talk to a supervisor or something and then come back. Some people don't like to work beyond what their supposed to, and that's sad.

[@noraraeafm]

It wouldn't have made a difference, unfortunately. Nuchal cords aren't an issue.

[@DulceMaria-tt4ru]

Giorgia Perotti or his heartbeat

[@krystin_stand4truth]

They can check the cord around the neck. They place it over the babys neck area and push that little button that checks the blood flow from the cord to the placenta. That US tech giving her that excuse is BS. She totally could have checked with no issues. And even if she thought she would get in trouble, she still could have checked and showed the Dr, if the Dr to tell the patient the outcome.

[@chiaralombardo8380]

My mother went through something similar. More than 20 years later she still gets tears in her eyes when she speaks about it (rarely), me and my brother are grateful for how strong of a woman she is. There are no words for this, I wish you all the best from the bottom of my heart ♥️

[@karenwingler1647]

God bless you both. I’m not sure how this story came to me. I lost a baby at almost 20 weeks. Maybe God just wanted to connect us. Your strength is amazing. 💜

[@Kingalbertmax]

May your son soul rest in heaven with Jesus Christ 💓 amen

[@ruthwerner9424]

l agree

[@Kingalbertmax]

@@ruthwerner9424 yes

[@noelariel7233]

I agree

[@shazandrews2038]

Rachel, there are just no words! I’ve just come across your story and I’m in total awe of your strength!. I’ve been sat here watching the pain in your beautiful face whilst trying to comprehend every expectant mummy-to-be’s worst nightmare. All I wish I could do is come through one of those doors behind you and give you the biggest most tightest squeezed hug you’ve ever had!. YOU ARE AMAZING...AND WHAT YOU DID FOR YOUR BABY BOY MAKES YOU AN EVEN MORE AMAZING MUMMY xxx

[@TannerandRachel]

Shaz Andrews thank you so much for taking the time to listen to Jameson’s story and for the kind words

[@shazandrews2038]

Tanner and Rachel NO! THANK YOU for sharing your heartbreaking story so honestly and eloquently! I’ve not been able to get you or baby Jameson out of my head since watching your vlog last night. It’s shocked me how much of an impression you’ve made and how much I feel for 3 people I’ve never ever met and who live thousands of miles away (I live in England). By sharing your story you’re not only helping others feel like they’re not alone, your imprinting your beautiful baby boys memory into everyone’s heart and he’ll never be forgotten xx

[@TannerandRachel]

Shaz Andrews that means the world to me 💕

[@shazandrews2038]

Rachel I have no right to suggest this because I have never had to experience your pain and suffering that you and “Milo’s mum” have. She’s only 20 Rachel, but was 19 and a single mummy to be when she shared her heartbreaking experience on here as you have. She’s from Wales in Britain. I just thought that maybe you could support each other. If you want to know more about her she can be found on you tube as “Milo’s mum” and she tells her story in 3 parts xx

[@asiannamonet1380]

omg 🤭😭 this is HEARTBREAKING, still praying one year later 💛💛

[@cheronsingleton5789]

Its so cruel that exactly what you were worried about, happened. Im so sorry for your loss, so close to him being there.

[@taranovinsky3814]

Rachel, you are such a strong woman. I stumbled across your story last night and cried the entire time. I cannot imagine what you're going through. Your video of tanner playing his guitar to Jameson was heart wrenching. I am so sorry for your loss. Keep posting and talking about Jameson and carry your memories of him close to your heart forever...

[@lr-xm4xn]

Watching this two years later, but I needed to comment. I just lost my daughter this past December at 41 weeks. The amount of similarities I noticed in our stories was unreal. I was also terrified of stillbirth. I watched and read so many stories. I had such an intense fear my entire pregnancy that she was going to get tangled up in her cord because she was SO active. Even at 35 weeks she would still change positions from breech to transverse to head down. At 38 weeks I remember telling my husband that I was scared she had tangled herself because she wasn't changing positions anymore. I know some would say that could've been because she just ran out of room, but part of me just knew. I can't explain it. The moments you described when they confirmed your sweet boy was gone was just like mine. I also went into shock. I couldn't cry for hours. I remember telling my husband something must be wrong with me. It wasn't until I heard the nursery song start playing in the hospital and another baby crying that I finally lost it. I could go on and on, but I was just shocked at how much I could relate. We lost our daughter to a very tight nuchal cord wrapped four times 💔 I'm so sorry you have experienced this pain and I hope you are doing well these days. Thank you for sharing Jameson's story with us and reminding me I am not alone on a day when I really needed it. Sending you all the love in the world ♡

[@LADYVIKING05]

Omgeeee!!!! Hugs & kisses to you, mama!!!! How sad! I’m going through the same thing right now. I’m 29w4d & I didn’t feel my baby moving & grew concerned. I tried my fetal doppler for a heart rate & was unsuccessful. I’VE ALWAYS FOUND HIS HEART BEAT W/ MY DOPPLER. I rushed to the hospital & they couldn’t find a heart beat on the monitor so they called ultrasound STAT. They came to do the ultrasound. The tech said the doctor would speak to me, but I knew my baby was gone. Doctors came & told me that my baby was deceased. I’m here in labor & delivery being given meds to start dilation. This sucks so much. I’m so devastated 💔💔💔

[@lr-xm4xn]

@@LADYVIKING05 I'm so sorry mama 😢 no one should ever have to feel such pain. Praying for strength as you go through the process of delivering your perfect little angel. My only advice is to take pictures because you will cherish them always. Sending you so much love ❤️

[@LADYVIKING05]

@@lr-xm4xn tysm. Yes, we’ll def take lots of pics ❤️

[@mrsnewbhero3026]

You are so strong, sending you love. I am bawling my eyes out for you and your family.

[@angelamartin1717]

Some people are BLESSED with healthy babies that don’t deserve them...while loving couples like this suffers unimaginable devastation like this...I’ve always believed that God doesn’t give you more than you can handle...you will be blessed 👼🏻

[@lovelana3595]

I'm so sorry. Thank you for sharing your experience & heart on KZbin. It was not "too long", you did not "ramble", you did a great job from beginning to end. I cried throughout you telling your story. I saw the last moments with your son video first. It was heartbreaking & beautiful. Thank you again for sharing so much. 💙

[@frankilovemusic]

You are the bravest woman. You have so much courage. I cried many times while I watched your beautiful heart share your heartbreaking story. While watching your video, I looked up your instagram and was so happy to see you had Daisy Mae. Sending you so much love and healing vibes. You are an incredible Mom!!! Your video will help many women, many couples & many families.. Xo

[@tima2553]

I’m so so sorry!😭 I lost two and now I’m 25wks pregnant with a baby girl. I’m in so much fear. I was holding my belly and jiggling it to feeler more the whole video. It’s 10:30pm here in Germany and I felt her move when I had my lunch late, I think she slept. I felt a bit but not much, so while I’m watching I’m holding my belly and taking a deep breath. I’m probably fine and she is probably fine too, I’m also very worried so it may be it. Some days she’s very active and some not but I still feel her movements. I was just telling my husband before I had my dinner that when she doesn’t move as much I get worried. He is a very calm person to the point sometimes I feel like he doesn’t take my concerns seriously. But I’m like you I know my body, I suffered with genetic blood disease since birth 25years and it caused me so much problems like chronic pneumonia and pain. Hip fractures and hepatitis C due to blood transfusion when I was 17. I was also in a coma in 2013 and I’m a high risk not only my pregnancy but my disease as well. I keep my fears into myself because that’s how I’m used to as I didn’t have anyone around growing up. It’s hard for me to speak and when I speak to my husband who never has issues and never been to a hospital in more then a decade, he doesn’t take things seriously as he is extremely bias on how things work and that puts a strain on me too. He’s not the emotional type like your boyfriend, doesn’t understand or gets it but claim he does. He always looks at me with a cold face when I speak about such. It’s frustrating! Anyways, sorry for my long comment, I felt like i needed to vent. I subscribed! 💕 xxx Rest In Peace little angel! He will look down on you from heaven and will bless you and be your guardian your whole life.

[@relatablewhitegirl5700]

This is the second stillborn video ive seen and it brings me back to 5 years ago when I had a miscarriage. All the emotions still raw. Thank you for your story and just know Jameson will never be forgotten.

[@iraniaramos113]

You’re such a badass. To even sit down & share your story is such a bold move! Also you’re helping many many people and making them feel better. I hope god is blessing you & your beautiful family!

[@LaurenRemillard]

Listening to your story helped me so much. I lost my son 4 months ago when I was almost 7 months pregnant. It’s a pain you can’t explain to anyone unless they’ve been though it. I’m so sorry you’ve gone through it too. You’re so strong 💙

[@Longtallsal17]

I think you told your story beautifully with true, raw emotion and have absolutely given yourself ( and us) an accurate account and timeline of your previous beautiful baby boy’s entrance into this world and your lives.... to meet the baby you have grown all those months in your womb is the most precious gift and to welcome him with joy,deep love and kisses as you did is the part of him being born sleeping that nobody can take away....💕

[@nirvanaalgeria5252]

babe so sorry for your loss but do never forget that he is in HEAVEN a place where he will be so much better. he is not die just living in a place million times better than ours please please try to move on god will give u another baby be sure sorry if my English is bad peace from Algeria ⚘⚘⚘

[@aztecamaya4467]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I've had 3 losses and 2 succesful pregnancies in between. My first baby was a missed miscarriage at 12 weeks in 2009, my second baby and hardest loss was at 23 weeks losing my baby boy to malpractice in South America in 2010 and my most recent one here in California at 12 weeks again had a missed miscarriage. I can tell you that the pain will numb with time but you will always have your beautiful angel in your heart. I miss my baby boy everyday even now that I have a 6 year old girl and a 7 year old boy. I remember going home and feeling like everything was surreal. The first night going to bed without feeling my baby kick was the worst nightmare and with time learned to deal with my pain. Fast forward to 2018 I like you felt with no emotion with my third loss recently in January. The doctor tried to hear my baby's HB at 13 weeks with the doppler and couldn't find anything. Right then I knew something went wrong. I went to get an ultrasound ASAP and when they told me there was no HB I just started into blank space and told them "Yes I know." They thought I was crazy because they were giving me this looks. I felt so angry and I couldn't believe it was happening again. We have mixed emotions and that is NORMAL. I'm here if you need to talk and I'm sending you a big HUG!

[@joey3868]

I lost 3 babies. 1 miscarriage at 8 weeks and 2 stillbirths. The stillbirths were both cord accidents at 16 weeks and 20 weeks, 1 boy, 1 girl. The cords were real tight around his neck 3 times and 5 times wrapped around her neck.

[@megsgonnamake]

You did an amazing job speaking, sweet girl. I just want to reach in and squeeze you. My heart aches for you. You are the strongest woman...I am so so sorry for you and your husband's loss and the unimaginable pain that you have to endure. I will be thinking of you and keeping you in my prayers.

[@ashleymarie6585]

Feeling my baby boy kick while I watch this and holding him so tight. I can’t imagine your pain and grief. I am so terribly sorry for your loss.

[@jayceer6886]

You, are seriously... the most bad-ass WARRIOR I’ve ever known. ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ Your son loves you and is with you every day, mama.

[@marciawright2600]

I am not sure why I was drawn to your post, but I consider it an honor to have been a witness to such a beautiful and heartbreaking journey for you and Tanner and Jameson. Your beloved son Jameson. You did a remarkable job outlining the details and I my heart is breaking open for all of you. Thank you for sharing and may the lovely and sweet memories of sharing those special hours with your son sustain you through this most difficult road of grief. You are his mother and he is your son, and nothing can ever change that. Peace, Peace, Peace.

[@shannw0129]

Wow you have an amazing way with words. I loved how u phrased all that

[@rebeccavasquez7664]

I stumbled across your video - I didn't mean to find it, it just happened to appear out of nowhere - and I just can't help but be so touched and so proud of you for sharing. I feel so blessed that you shared your story with me! Weird as it may sound, for a little while I felt like I was a part of your family - my heart burst with love and broke for you all at the same time. I know your story will stick with me for a lifetime. I'm certain Jameson is proud to have you as his mother, and Daisy will be, too.

[@TheLuckyOnes]

I’m pregnant and wasn’t sure I could watch this, but I watched every single second. I want you to know that I see you and I see your son Jameson. I’m so sorry you had to go through this, but I’m so happy that Daisy is here. Thank you for sharing them with us 💜

[@carlalb6182]

Oh my heart breaks for you! 😔 No words can ever replace your shattered soul and heart My deepest condolences for your precious loss

[@mrsprincenelson5756]

Dear Rachel and tanner I know there are no words anyone could say, sorry does not cut it! God bless you both! RIP angel Jameson xxx

[@aalvarez4068]

Thank you for sharing. I commend you for having the strength to share your story. We also recently loss our son, Mason, at 36 weeks last May due to nuchal cord accident. The reactions you describe is so similar to what I had. It felt like a dream and I kept pinching myself hoping I would wake up but now, we have to face this new reality.

[@StevieWrites]

Thank you Rachel for sharing your heartbreaking story... I am eight weeks pregnant and learning so much. Mothers Tuition is such a crazy wonderful thing and should not be taken for granted. There is NO reason why that tech could not have checked to see the first time you asked, they look at these all day long and I find it very hard to believe that they could not see that. Because I heard your story, if I have those feeling I WILL NOT leave until they do and check what I feel like they need to check. Doctors and hospitals often get too caught up in getting people in and out that they do not bother checking everything that needs to be checked. I pray for nothing but happiness for you and Tanner, you guys deserve it!

[@DD-on8zn]

I cant wrap my head around what you must go through. My heart breaks for you guys, may God bless you and your little angel. You are such a strong woman, I respect and look up to you!

[@mimijg92]

I’m so sorry you had to go through all of that..it’s truly insane how you’re in a dream like state when something like this happens. I lost my son on January 4th this year. He was born premature at exactly 24 weeks and lived for a week before he started to have severe brain bleeding. It’s so tough to go through something like this. I hope you both find comfort in knowing your son is watching over you both and his future siblings. xoxo

[@CarlJohnson-hc2vo]

The souls of children are pure as crystal, he’s most definetly in heaven. I hope you find your peace with this, god bless❤️

[@careaboutnature]

My heart ached for you as I watched your video. Losing a child is the most difficult thing a parent can experience. Then to have to experience the birth without pain medication was incredible. We had a loss like this in our family. I am 66 and I still feel the loss of it. I would have had an older sister; my mother lost a full term baby as you did. Back in those days women did not get epidurals and she said exactly what you said about going through the pain of delivery making it worse. My heart goes out to you in special way; to see the pain in your eyes made me cry with you and for you. You and your husband are in my prayers as you grieve for your precious son.

[@savannah7074]

What an absolute amazing person you are. I am in absolute awe of what you did for your son. Thank you for sharing such a vulnerable story. I’m so sorry for the loss of this sweet boy. I cannot begin to understand the hurt you and your family went through. I wish you peace and happiness.

[@lauraf4176]

My heart hurts so much for you. I’m so in awe of your strength. Thank you for sharing your story.

[@lotos2980]

Dear Rachel and Tanner. Lots of love and prayers from me a total stranger from Denmark. I took the time to listen the whole birth story. I literally cried and smiled at the same time. Your story touched my heart. Wanted to write lots of things but now I can't find the words.

[@Kmbrgss]

I have 2 angel babies. There are absolutely no words to describe the loss of a child, no right words to comfort or sympathize. I'm praying for you and Tanner; for peace, comfort, and some semblance of understanding. It never ever goes away, it never really gets easier, there will always be an emptiness. My hope and prayer for you guys is that you can fill that emptiness with love. Love for each other, love for your friends and family, love for your beautiful baby girl and future babies to come. Love for yourself, recognizing how strong you are and drawing from that during times when you feel the weakest. Much love to you 💞

[@MegmoeE]

I’m so sorry for your loss. The precious little moments you describe with him are just heartbreaking. There could never be enough time with your baby regardless I could not imagine only having a few small moments to hold on to for a lifetime. Thank you for being so brave as to share your story.

[@kyleee8]

My heart broke the entire time watching this. 💔

[@audramuth4147]

I’m so sorry for your loss . I lost my baby at 18 weeks. It’s a very traumatic experience . I also delivered him vaginally. I wasn’t given an epidural just a constant flow of some pain med in my arm . There is no excuse for their treatment you received while going through this ordeal. I would write to the head of the hospital and or look into filing a lawsuit . He could have damaged you for real .

[@melissaprentice1780]

My sweet woman.....I'm moved beyond words. At 45min when u said to Carol, "its ok", I knew exactly what u meant. I said "if I leave this earth" out loud even though I'm by myself. I knew that in those words, u meant it just didn't matter at all. U seemingly lost everything precious, and it was ok to go. I had made the same statement to my dearest friend just before I had my 6th and 7th spinal surgery this winter. I'm also unable to have children of my own anymore. I think u did a beautiful job telling ur story and I listened to every. Single. Moment. I think one of the biggest gifts in life are memories. No one can take them from u. They are imprinted into ur soul. The amount of love that was surrounding ur son, and u, and Tanner, was so genuine, and I hope that gives u even just a little bit of peace. To my "spinal surgery sister", congratulations on ur recent birth, and if u ever want to talk, I'm here, in Austin, Texas, ready to listen. Xoxo

[@erikar.7076]

I'm so sorry for your loss. Watching you tell your story broke my heart. I had a stillborn at 27 weeks. I too had Scoliosis but had surgery when I was 13 and I was also told throughout my pregnancy that getting an epidural was not going to be an issue up until the day I found out my baby did not have a heart beat. The anesthesiologist said he could do it but did not feel comfortable so I told him to forget it. I know exactly how you felt. Going through my 1st labor experience and feeling all of the pain and in the end not being able to bring my baby home was gut wrenching. But that was 15 years ago and I now have two healthy sons, 13 and 11. I can't wait to see your video of you bringing Daisy home. Jameson will be her little guardian angel! ❤❤❤

[@brittanynicole2343]

I just finished your video and our stories are almost identical. Down to the treatment from the hospital to having doubts with an epidural because of scoliosis surgeries. Like I said I am so sorry for the loss of your baby boy 💔💔 we have beautiful angels looking down on us

[@StillWatersRunDeep101]

My fullest sympathies towards your whole experience. I had heard another woman's story who wanted a Cesarean section the whole time also. But her friend said "you don't want that scar." Which would always remind her of her loss. And the mom was glad she didn't have one either. God Bless both you and your husband.

[@syedauzmaaiftekhar594]

Rachel I sat down and watched your entire video and It felt like a member of my family lost a child. You are so so strong and god only put his favorite people in hardships ( as per my belief) You stood strong and oh my god ur husband is an amazing support Il subscribe to your channel and keep watching all the positive stories u share now. U are a hero mamma❤❤

[@syedauzmaaiftekhar594]

Can u post ur instgram link please

[@jenniferyoder4669]

My heart just broke so many times listening to your story. But you know what? It is so beautiful. What an amazing woman and mother you truly are. I hope your soul finds peace very soon.

[@yazziiquazzii]

My heart goes out to you and Tanner. You have my deepest condolences. ❤

[@SondaLovesElly26]

Love you guys so much! ❤️ Matthew 11:28 Then Jesus said, come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.

[@marycutts9612]

This was beautiful. So natural. He deserved every minute. Thank you.

[@jennajune2101]

You told this story perfectly. The fact that you shared this is so powerful. I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. I lost 2 babies back to back, between my first & second live births. It destroyed me completely for years. I had spinal fusion surgery in 1998, when I was 14, due to severe scoliosis. 87% of my spine is fused & it’s fused very far down. When I was pregnant with my first in 2004, I had to meet with the head of anesthesia & he confirmed I was unable to have an epidural. So I had my first without one. My second, same hospital, but in 2013, my nurse insisted I was WRONG & things CHANGED, so an anesthesiologist came in, checked my spine & said I was 100% UNABLE to have an epidural. So, when it came to my third in 2015, same hospital, my chart came with a front page that stated I was unable to have n epidural and/or spinal & NO ONE was to ask or mention of one. The spinal pain that you described is exactly what I experienced with all of my births, but especially my second. I also hemorrhaged extremely bad with my first, to the point where I almost died. So much of your story was relatable for me. Again, I am incredibly sorry for your loss. Many many positive thoughts & prayers to you & your upcoming birth of your daughter.

[@carolroe9586]

My heart breaks for you. God bless you and your family, I am so so sorry for your loss. I delivered a stillborn baby boy, Tommy, in 1998. ☹️😭☹️Your son will always live in that special place in your heart ❤️.

[@fembot521]

This story breaks my heart. You are amazingly strong ❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@kittykay088]

Omg 😭😭😭 I just finished watching this and I am in tears!! When you said it was ok, I immediately understood what you meant. When my sister in law lost her baby she got very ill and you could see in her face how broken hearted she was. She had lost another baby two years prior. Both occasions her doctors dropped the ball. In my heart I still feel she didn’t wanna fight anymore. She was so broken hearted and I believe that her broken heart was what made her succumb and not fight. She passed two days after her baby.

[@sarahtallbull3596]

I’m so sorry for your loss. As a sonographer, I want to apologize for the ER techs who appear to be somewhat cold.. we don’t mean to be, trust me, we are just limited by the nature of the situation. I’m so so sorry about your son ❤️

[@dianebays5484]

I'm so sorry that you have gone through this. I've been in tears watching your video. I can't even begin to feel how this was. All my love and hugs to you and your husband.

[@kathydebby606]

Brave, beautiful girl. Thank you for sharing your story. So , so brave.

[@Selbeauty04]

I just came upon this video and it made me cry. I'm currently pregnant and I think every women's fear is loosing their child. It runs through my head time to time, because we don't see what's going on in there. I'm so sorry for your lost & Ik he's looking after you guys ❤️ I could only imagine. I'm hoping you guys are strong and you guys are so so genuine. Doctors need to listen more, we all as women know our bodies best. God bless ❤️

[@skosha83]

You are amazingly strong for sharing your story, bless you and your family. Xo

[@kimmyymmik]

I watched the entire thing and cried a couple of times. You’re so strong and you have an amazing boyfriend and great friends that love you so much. I wish you the best. ❤️

[@TannerandRachel]

Kimberly Enriquez thank you so much for taking the time to hear my story 💕

[@ameliabreach7254]

I had an ultrasound on the Thursday morning and was told everything was fine - woke up the Friday morning to spotting. That feeling of stillness is terrifying. I thought I was the only one too scared to hold and bath my little one. Liam was born at around 6pm and I didn’t hold him until after 10pm. There really is no way to explain the emotions a family goes through when delivering a stillborn. My biggest regret is not holding him more than what I had. Stay strong ❤️

[@TannerandRachel]

Amelia Breach I’m so so sorry.... what I have learned is that... you just have to accept how you had to handle such a horrific and shocking experience. There is NO preparing for that... even if there was... when you’re actually in it, it’s too much to take in. You do what you have to to survive the moment.

[@Chelsealulu1]

Hi Amelia. My heart hurts for every mother who has had to endure the loss of a child. I am a NICU RN for 9 years and have cared for many babies who unfortunately passed away. We always do our best to encourage mothers to hold their babies if possible in their last moments and for as long as they feel they need to after the death. I have had some mothers keep their baby with them in their room for 2 full days before finally saying their last goodbye. Other mothers refuse to hold or only hold very briefly. I always worry about those moms more because they never get the chance after that. Looking back on your experience is there anything that you think could be said or done that would have eased your fears and made you feel better about taking more time to hold your baby? Studies show mothers cope better if they hold their babies but some just don’t want to. The few times I had a baby dying whose mothers absolutely refused to hold I have always sat and held them myself until their heart stopped. I don’t blame them but I just worry for the mothers so much in those situations.

[@ameliabreach7254]

Chelsealulu1 I didn’t know what to expect. I think if it was explained that he would look like a baby, but veiny, red and blue, limp and cold I would have been more at ease. I think my experience was sugar coated a little. I would have preferred to have been gently informed of exactly what to expect. I was simply told he would look normal - but that is far from true. I don’t feel normal is the right word to use in these situations.

[@shaylaramirez4830]

I’m sobbing “As soon as I woke up I could feel him moving” omg I’m so so sorry, May ur baby r.i.p 🙏🏼😭

[@kaylawhiteside9492]

I’ve never watched a video all the way through till I saw this. You are one strong woman and I truly strive to be half the woman you are. I’m and so truly sorry for what you experienced and I know Jameson is up there watching you and is anticipating his baby sister to come. He will be the best big brother ever. I hope you and you’re little family the best and you’ll be on my mind💕