My story - My mom's suicide

[@clairemerino8598]

I'm depressed for quite sometime now. I started to loose some sleep. I guess I overworked. I developed apnea. I'm worried about my kids. I'm thankful they've finished school. Undergoing the pain. Please pray for me

[@michaelshannon9169]

Hey, saw your message, hope your well. Some of us are doing life on hard mode.

[@1979stephen]

Mate, I think talking about your mum and creating art could ease the pain and hurt. Much love and positive thoughts to you and your brother.

[@chanelgrace1873]

I don't really know what to say. But thank you for this video. Makes me feel a little less alone. My Mum is deeply suicidal and most days I fear I will get a call or find her dead. I have experienced deep depression and tried to take my own life in the past but thankfully have been able to heal and turn my mental health around and do not struggle with it anymore. I try to share what helped me with my Mother but she just won't listen. She refuses to even try and just replies "this is just the way I am. Nothing works". Its heart breaking for my inner child because like you, I've had to be the parent and look after myself and pick myself up over and over again my whole life. My Dad has never been present in my life. Im also a single Mum to 2 very young children and I really struggle as it is to juggle everything on my own. I'm honestly scared of finding my Mother like you did as I feel it will really rip apart all the work I've done on myself and I won't be able to be strong enough to hold myself together and be a good mother to my kids.

[@petermichaelwakeling]

Wow Chanel, very tough :( I find all of that very relatable. All you do is trying. I definitely heard the "this is the way I am" line a lot and it's very heartbreaking. Hang in there, sounds like you're a wonderful daughter

[@HeavyStorm74]

Praying for you brother. Stay strong.

[@joetrump6769]

My mom tried to kill her self twice , we were at home and took her to hospital, when first time she came out from hospital and she made promise she won’t do it again , but day before yesterday she did it again , and again we rushed to hospital and saved her again , now I’m too depressed and scared to leave her alone , and at same time I feel sad that we are just controlling her life , tomorrow morning we are going to take her psychiatrist hospital, for counseling, I’m I am still scared what if the treatment won’t work! I love my mom so much and don’t want to lose her , 😞

[@valeta84]

Thank you for sharing. I am a mother of 5 who has severe mental illness and i get up and try my best everyday. Your story helps keeps moms like me alive.

[@winterwildflowers8439]

This is why I’m here.

[@joeowens6180]

Thanks so much for your compassionate sharing, Peter. Your kindness and goodness shows through all of your films. A happy life, and God's best blessings be yours!

[@roraaa11]

My mom took her life in April and I don't really know how to process it. I'm glad you feel you are okay and I hope that one day I can feel that way too. Thanks for sharing your story.

[@itielelpida]

Oh..I am so sorry!! God protect and bless you my dear!! Jesus Christ to heal you!! I am proud of you!! Take care of yourself please!

[@roraaa11]

@@itielelpida thank you 💛

[@sachiokoyin]

I dont want to compare stories at all, I am so sorry this happened to you. I dont know if its helpful, my mother died of natural causes last October, but throughout my childhood she made multiple Suicide attempts and involved me in them- I find now as an adult that hearing your story is helpful, even though my mother passed way without suicide, somehow I find this year latter, the way for me begin to mourn is AS IF it were from suicide, if this makes any sense. Your story helps me begin to connect with the way to make sense of this. Thank you.

[@petermichaelwakeling]

I'm very late, but thank you for sharing your story with me! Sorry your your loss

[@sachiokoyin]

@@petermichaelwakeling thank you!! You as well!! and thank you again for sharing your story !

[@itielelpida]

What a beautiful young man!! God protect and bless you! I am so so proud of you!!

[@valeriemartinez3505]

Hi Peter I'm 35 and I lost my 15 year old son this June 2021 I pray to my dear God you are doing good I'm so sorry for your loss I pray to God that he will give you so many blessings for all the pain you have been thru my son has a twin so I feel so bad for him I pray he will grieve and heal from this and I pray the same for you I think you are very brave and well spoken thanks for sharing your story you are an amazing human and I think your mom is very proud and thankful for all you did for her

[@normancross1515]

It's good that you could talk with us about this. And hopefully, you know that at those times when it is the hardest to discuss this, that is the time that you really MUST discuss this. Talk to your brother, talk to your partner, talk to your therapist, talk to a friend . . . but talk to someone. They don't need to solve anything for you, you need to think it through and that is more easily done when you say it aloud. When you speak things, your brain moves at a slower pace and it gives you time to follow the threads of your thoughts, to think logically. Stay strong, and realize that this was her decision. She didn't ask for your input. But you are left to pick up the pieces and try to make sense of it. Above all else, never forget that you are loved by many. If you need help, all you need do is ask.

[@YoungRamtin]

I'm going through same situation. It's so bad.. as you said no one should ever be in such a situation. But I believe in good future whereby things will get better

[@petermichaelwakeling]

No one should have to go through this :( hugs. Sorry for the mega late reply.

[@landscapeleon9857]

Today is my moms birthday... and it has been 2 weeks now since i need to live my live without her... it is weird and sometimes very painfull, but such things sometimes just happen.

[@petermichaelwakeling]

[@bradleyhaines4108]

My mom just passed away yesterday from cancer I think it's hard fo loose a parent but sorry for your lost and I wish you both the best

[@petermichaelwakeling]

I'm so sorry to hear, Bradley! It's awful, but I hope you can get through it and eventually think back on happy memories of your mom without it feeling so painful

[@bradleyhaines4108]

@@petermichaelwakeling I do to she begged me to forgive her for everything that happened to me has a child and I did but I feel empty

[@bradleyhaines4108]

I wish you the best I am with you heart and soul be strong lots of love

[@belizeguy]

My heart goes out to you. It should comfort you having done all the things and taken the steps you did before. Sometimes, even in the best situations, things like this happen, and again, I am very sorry it happened to your family. Follow this path and I would imagine this will be a very interesting film project. Keep at it each day. Show up, even when you don't want to and keep living your life. I lost my last parent this July and I try not to let it affect my life, but it does in subtle ways. Best to you and yours. Chin up, and solider on going forward.

[@Nabernax]

Going through similar, from childhood to now. Brother two yrs younger, our mom took her life last April.. Im still in some sort of shock. No answers.

[@landscapeleon9857]

For me to, it has been two weeks, i just do t know how to live my life anymore

[@Nabernax]

@@landscapeleon9857 its been sometime for me now but feel im in a vacuum ever since. Nothing will ever be the same. Something untalked about out there.. loosing your own mother to suicide is not like others would realize that never went through it. Its much worse or different then losing her to old age or something bot in her control. But to think my own mother took her life.. I have no answers.. its rough every day for me but I go on cause this is an adventure. It will not be all happy and normal. It will be my adventure and I refuse to give in to whatever my mother gave in to. I see it as tougher to do what she did then to not do it but also think it was her path to take and mine is to live with it. Let the days go by and enjoy the little things.. its all thats left possibly

[@petermichaelwakeling]

Sorry to hear of your losses! It's so, so unbelievably tough and I truly wish people didn't have to go through the pain. All I can say is that it does get better over time, truly!

[@ralphlyda4545]

I watched the whole film. I have hideous depreßion; my heart breaks for you! I've been suicidal quite recently; I'm some better, but it's still fairly awful. Your film "Bro" has been an incredible bleßing for me; I've watched it so many times!

[@petermichaelwakeling]

Hey Ralph, sorry your the late response. Glad you enjoyed my short film. I'm sorry to hear that mental illness was/is getting the better of you. Stay strong!

[@michaelshannon9169]

Sorry for your loss.

[@petermichaelwakeling]

Thanks Michael!

[@alessiocece2098]

Im so sorry!! :``( that must be the most terrible feeling in the world!! One day you will see each other again!!

[@petermichaelwakeling]

I sure hope so!

[@jemimapd534]

So sorry for your loss 💔

[@Arman-ch5vi]

you was a good son you did so much to help your mother

[@petermichaelwakeling]

Thank you so much

[@Arman-ch5vi]

@@petermichaelwakeling if your mother can think as her real self without the mental stuff she had to deal with, she would be very proud to have such a good son and wants you to keep being strong like you already have, she wants you to make the most of the stuff u had to deal with and to have a good life

[@ramachandransankaranarayan5069]

Hope you are doing better now at least a bit...It's really tragic ..Just wanted to know you are doing OK now

[@petermichaelwakeling]

Hey! Thanks for the comment! I'm doing a lot better these days, truly :) lots of growth and recovery.

[@jakejones5915]

My mom committed suicide 1 month ago today and I found her with my sister.. I came here looking for some type of understanding and I’m still so hurt and sad I don’t know what to do.. my kids won’t know their grandma and I’ll never get to hug my mom again.. idk what to do and for some reason came to KZbin to see if anyone would understand my pain..

[@petermichaelwakeling]

Hi Jake. I'm so sorry for your loss. It's awful but time does heal. It will always hurt but you learn to live the new normal. Thinking of you though

[@nevillelongbottom106]

*hugs*

[@lonia.5283]

Matthew 11:28-29 "28 Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls." Jesus Christ from Nazareth ❤

[@user-ex6ln3ut2q]

Sending prayers! ❤️ How are you after 3 years?

[@petermichaelwakeling]

Hey Melda! Thanks for checking in. I'm actually doing a lot better these days. I've grown a lot over the past few years, especially with adjusting to post-pandemic life. I think my mother would be very proud of me three years on!

[@mmontiel8335]

I just know in the end no one really cares- that’s the world and that’s how it works

[@MarieHarvey-q8s]

❤

[@MarieHarvey-q8s]

You poor lad 🌻

[@edammyst8261]

PeterM9chaelIwisthere wasmoreof. aSolutionforthis,too