My Story of Religious Trauma | A Christian Intervention

[@jezebelvibes]

A BIG thank you to everyone who has donated to recoveringfromreligion.org from this video!!! We have raised over $400 in just 3 hours!!! That's amazing! Your support and willingness to help make a difference warms my heart. And it makes me so happy i shared this difficult story with you. It makes it all worth it! THANK YOU!!! ❤❤❤❤

[@hip2Bfit2011]

Hey there! I have been watching you for a long time! I am so proud of you for standing up and putting your story out there! Do you have an email address that you can be contacted at? I would love to share what I’ve gone through (currently being shunned) with you and try to start getting my story out there to help people as well.

[@hip2Bfit2011]

In addition - thank you so much for posting that link! I am heading to that website right now!

[@lalo2641]

Jesus is Lord

[@lalo2641]

If you ask anyone if I'm lying, they will say I'm not lying. Jesus is lord

[@kirkkohnen5050]

@@lalo2641 Quite the mean-spirited thing to say in this context!

[@mikekelly702]

A friend of mine who is gay, was kicked out of his home when he was 15 by his Christian parents. I was 18 at the time and had my own place to live, and I basically told him he could stay with me. Me, not being christian, went to their house and gave them what I consider to be a "piece of my mind", and told them that given the fact that their OWN son was under age, they were lucky that I didn't call law enforcement on them, and that their son was staying with me and would continue to do so, and if they came near him, I would have them arrested for assaulting a minor. My friend later told me that he had been sexually abused by another person in the family and that his parents did nothing but pray over him...ANYWAY, I have NO (ZERO) compassion for my friends parents. And this is against my own nature as a caring person, but I think I did the right thing.

[@frankgarcia4886]

Thank you for caring enough to help that 15yr old. You most likely saved his life from the streets. There are some families that should be investigated and charged for abuses of various kinds, sexual, physical, and mental. And the churches should be forced to pay taxes. Jesus told peter to pay taxes, so why dont they? They claim to follow, but in fact are 100 % hypocrites.

[@anjafrohlich1170]

Being a caring person also materalizes in giving a piece of your mind to careless people.

[@Bloxxertildeath]

To be caring for the innocent, you must be strong against the abusers. Thank you for taking care of someone in an actual christly way... if only his fan club actually could be anything like him.

[@felixchaplin]

It's ironic that you followed Jesus' teachings than your friend's Christian parents (particularly the parables of The Good Samaritan and The Sheep and the Goats)

[@mikekelly702]

@@felixchaplin 💪❤️

[@Wiggimus]

In my experience, if you hear "but" during an apology, then you're not hearing an apology.

[@ronaldolson6553]

Unless they explained what was going through their head at the time, while acknowledging "but that's no excuse."

[@gerritvalkering1068]

As someone put it to me a while ago, 'what comes before the but is sh*t'

[@InformationIsTheEdge]

That is exactly right. Take off every word before the "but" and you will have their real, intended message.

[@stephenhowe4107]

Then "nevertheless" is fine?

[@gerritvalkering1068]

@@stephenhowe4107 I am reminded of yet another saying, this time something I read. "No matter what you call a donkey, it still remains an ass". Since we're talking about but here, I felt this the right way to phrase it. There are many words you can use. However, the meaning and intention behind it doesn't change. But is just easier for one liners.

[@booksquid856]

"Often the church hurt comes AFTER you start questioning your faith"

[@tracyavent-costanza346]

especially if you do it in any way NOT "private". they are notorious for "outing" publicly, which is meant to also humiliate anyone who considers doing likewise.

[@marycollis6900]

Yes, because while you are in it you justify all pain as “testing- to make you more like Christ” - you justify all forms of emotional and psychological abuse from authorities as they are speaking fir God to transform you. The more you grovel and apologise for being yourself, the more power they have and the happier they are.

[@casper-z9rkls6gl]

@@tracyavent-costanza346 Absolutely. Wokes and PCers get _highly_ offended and will cancel you for that --- or worse.

[@lauraxo1117]

Yes! That’s when the claws come out

[@melanie.notmel]

Mine came before, and I'm still keeping it quiet. I just stopped going to church.

[@josephtaylor4405]

I love my Mother so much On Memorial Day as we were visiting graves she turned to me and said "Are you still an atheist?" I tensed and said "Yes" She said "I love you" and it ended with that Dammit I'm crying. Real men aren't afraid to cry. Bite me.

[@jezebelvibes]

I love your mom too 😭❤️ you're lucky to have her.

[@Jcs57]

If you don’t cry I would suspect something wasn’t right with you. The fact she loved you even though you were honest with her made me feel good because my mother never adjusted to that reality.

[@DomingoAviles-j1v]

*bites*

[@bobgreenfield9158]

Are you a big 6' 4" 280 pound strongman? If so, maybe that was weak.

[@Jcs57]

@@bobgreenfield9158 What are you babbling on about?

[@graveyardghost2603]

I understand where youre coming from. When i was 12, my mom turned to me in the car after church and yelled that i was "too old to not be saved". I knew if i didnt "walk down the aisle and accept Jesus" that she would make my life a living hell. So i did, and got baptized even though i didnt mean it. I was in essence forced to "believe". Thank you Kristi for sharing your story, i know a lot of us can relate. ❤

[@jezebelvibes]

I'm so sorry that was forced on you. There is so much lasting damage from things like that. Wishing you all the peace and healing on your journey

[@graveyardghost2603]

@@jezebelvibes thank you so much! ❤

[@areuaware6842]

Baptism is nothing.

[@graveyardghost2603]

@@areuaware6842 I know! Bc as soon as the baptism was over, I asked myself "do I feel like my "sins" are washed away? Has anything changed?" I answered myself with a resounding "No!"

[@areuaware6842]

@@graveyardghost2603 , The whole baptism thing is a false narrative. The Israelites were required to ritually wash all the time by their religion back then, they even had to pay the Temple to wash before entering the temple. It was big business. So Jesus came along and said you can wash the Temple and the god of Abraham (religion) off of you. Of course it was symbolic but the idea that you could wash off the god of Abraham was a big problem back then. But over time the church twisted baptism to mean the opposite of washing off of a religion and false god and turned it into the religion covering you, a contract with religion. The rest is history as they say.

[@someonerandom256]

The church didn't traumatize me nearly so much as my mother did. There wasn't one big event, it was just an entire childhood full of disturbing moments. She had like a kink for the Abraham Isaac sacrifice story, so I got a lot of "I would kill you if God told me to." That kind of thing repeatedly through your formative years will F you up pretty good. You never feel safe.

[@tracyavent-costanza346]

your mother was a child abuser.

[@jezebelvibes]

Nobody deserves that kind of treatment from their mother. I hope you're finding so much peace and healing

[@penttimuhli9442]

That is really twisted, sick

[@jeffhough7460]

Same from my parents though it was that story and them relating god made us and has the rights over our lives and by extension they had rights over mine since they created me... I feel for yah hope everything is better for you now

[@davabeardsley972]

Dayum!

[@LiamODonovan-l6e]

Religious trauma is a big big reason why we need less religious influence in the world. Love your videos, kristi. Wishing you the best

[@jezebelvibes]

Agreed. Thanks so much! wishing the best back to you, too

[@nonyadamnbusiness9887]

Actually, we need more religious influence, just not these fear based religions. Less fear based manipulation generally, no, a complete rejection of fear based manipulation regardless of source.

[@LiamODonovan-l6e]

@@nonyadamnbusiness9887 we don't religion inflicting more trauma religion is based on fear

[@theseustoo]

@@nonyadamnbusiness9887 Don't you recognise your own hypocrisy? Religion is all about fear... and fear-based manipulation. What part of that 'heaven and hell'/'carrot and stick' manipulation didn't you get? Or are you still under the spell of that manipulation? 🤔

[@ShadowedSojourner]

​@@jezebelvibesIsaiah 41:10: “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

[@lokilawson]

Did anyone else see how her eyes lit up when she talked about her husband? Kristi please tell him thanks from all of us, for being there for you, so that you can share your courage and story with all of us!

[@jezebelvibes]

I shared this with him ❤️❤️❤️

[@lokilawson]

@@jezebelvibes Thank you! In my own journey, I have found there to be guideposts along the way... people or events, or sometimes a KZbinr who I didn't know I needed until I found her story; interactions that I've gathered meaning from, and which clarified my choices for the next steps along that journey. It sounds like your husband is one of those for you. May you continue to be that for each other!

[@LeonRedmond-u3r]

@lokilawson At least she loves her husband. For that, I commend her.

[@healthyplanet-b5z]

Brings tears to my eyes

[@tracyavent-costanza346]

@@LeonRedmond-u3r WRT "... At least she loves her husband..." AT LEAST? Compared to WHAT?

[@soyevquirsefron990]

You’re the most unique voice on the skeptical KZbin scene. It helps other people if you say what you can as long as you can, but don’t traumatize yourself doing it. You’re important to this community but you’re more important to yourself and your family

[@jezebelvibes]

Thank you so much for the support and encouragement. It means a lot!

[@tracyavent-costanza346]

jezebel is opening doors for others to speak their piece. really sort of a post-christianity "me-too" event. I hope it provides a chance for wounded people to start some healing.

[@xmillion1704]

@TheSongOfNoOne You do you, I guess? But it may not serve you to believe that you can ascribe such things to others.

[@mannyguyson]

@TheSongOfNoOne Even now, they're eating the pets of the people that live there.

[@SeekingTheLoveThatGodMeans7648]

I'm skeptical but in a different way. I met the spirit of God when young but nobody wanted to believe any meritorious spirit was like that, leastwise my own mom, even though she liked certain religious rituals. I'm skeptical of the common modern church. It seems to me to chance into the love of God then chance right back out of it, not knowing even what happened and delivering a maddeningly (to me) inconsistent message. Jesus gave a personal message to his religious community (Jews) about being a good neighbor in which a person of a completely different religion (Samaritan) was the hero, and persons of their own religion were the goats. He knew, better than anyone else on earth (because he remembered the view from heaven) that the appeal of God's spirit didn't need a bunch of religious cruft joined to it in order to get appreciation and following.

[@avanm420]

Just wow! So many of your boundaries violated. Abuse in the name of 'concern'. The computer surveillance is over the top. 😮🧡 Glad you escaped that situation.

[@peacehopelovecharity]

Okay, this is petty and meant as a joke....I hope whoever bought the stolen laptop had some interesting internet habits that a good baptist family would break their strands of pearls. I love the end where she said, be proud and have compassion for yourself for breaking the cycle.

[@davabeardsley972]

Yesss the amount of Christians who violate all kinds of boundaries in the name of concern or saving your soul is incredible! And they feel justified.. like ?????

[@JimiBurleigh]

My wife and I really enjoy your videos. We both relate to this story very much. My wife was raised southern Baptist, I was raised in the Salbation Army. When I told my parents that I no longer belived - the death of our youngest child was the last straw for us - they tried the whole "intervention" thing with me, but I wasn't receptive to their overtures. My parents essentially disowned me at that point and never spoke to either of us or their grandchildren again. My parents are long dead now, but I cannot forgive them for ignoring their grandchildren for years. "I don't have faith in faith I don't believe in belief You can call me faithless But I still cling to hope And I believe in love And that's faith enough for me" (From the song "Faithless" by Rush) Lyric by Neil Peart (1952-2020)

[@jezebelvibes]

I can't imagine the pain of losing a child. And then dealing with religious interventions alongside that. I hope you have found so much peace and love and healing. My heart is with you

[@grayaj23]

Gotta love Neil. Long shall he be missed. The words are strictly on-point.

[@PhyreReighn]

While I've lost many friends and family I cant imagine loosing a child and am sorry for your loss. After listening to Anita Moorjani's NDE my journey of critical thinking began, because I also lived that beautiful beginning christians call death. I was pronounced dead in a 12 car pile up but here I am. Whatever level of consciousness I reached- it was beautiful/pure love & I didnt leave my loved ones. I believe you will feel, hear or see evidences of your sons energy & love. Small miracles and synchroneities are often overlooked. Christians will discount it but his love is with you. "Believe in Love"

[@PhyreReighn]

Allison DuBois wrote a book "We are their Heaven" The memories keep that energy alive, happy and with us. Your parents (as mine did) surrendered that with you & your kids. That would be a hell in itself. My parents are also gone & such strict mormons that they didnt allow my kids in their hearts. I've taught my kids love and creating memories- Not for facebook! smh- But rather to create their heaven here on earth~ Namaste

[@paulgemme6056]

@@PhyreReighn God/Jesus Christ never said believe in religion and you will have eternal life. Read the bible: John 11:25 Jesus said unto her, I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live: Faith in God/Christ Jesus not religion saves souls. The giver and sustainer of life is God/Jesus Christ not religion. Faith in the blood that Christ shed for the forgiveness of sin and the finished work that Christ completed on the cross. We must be born again, born of the Spirit (Holy Spirit), born from above. Read the gospel of John chapter three. Peace be with you!

[@arenee118]

My aunt found out I was an atheist. It shouldn't have been a surprise. I spent most of my time in Vacation Bible School sitting on the floor in the hallway because I asked too many questions. Since she and my grandparents taught VBS, they would see me there and later would find out what I did wrong. Anyway, when I confirmed that, yes, I was an atheist, she said, "I'll miss you. You will be in hell and I'll be in heaven." I just smiled and told her I didn't believe in hell. She was a Methodist.

[@mikearchibald744]

I just cant wrap my brain around believing in a 'heaven' with a being who is all powerful, who never actually shows his face or any viable reason for believing in 'him' and yet will condemn all the people who I think are just displaying 'common sense'. That would literally make 'him' the most awful deity you could even come up with.

[@Jarb2104]

If god is actually perfect justice, that will probably send you to hell, while I go to heaven. If god is actually perfect love, we both are going to heaven. If god is actually a perfect monster, I'll be contempt in hell waiting for you to commit the slightest mistake to be sent there too. If god is neutral in all of this, who knows what will happen. And no matter if god is real or not, I'll try to be as happy and loving as I can in this life.

[@tracyavent-costanza346]

maybe your aunt eventually realized that you would not miss her as much as she claimed she would miss you. Memories of being rejected and hours alone sitting on the floor in the hallway, just makes you strong enough to reject the rest of the malarkey they throw at you later on.

[@tracyavent-costanza346]

@@mikearchibald744 nor for that matter an omnipotent god who somehow requires humans to constantly adore him. and punishes them if they don't.

[@electronixTech]

@@tracyavent-costanza346 Good word for it, malarkey. 😊

[@JamesRichardWiley]

I was raised Catholic by a devout woman who believed the Jesus story with every fiber of her being. It wasn't until I left home that I was allowed to examine my questions and doubts which gradually led to the awakening of my critical thinking. At 76 I am still taking out the religious garbage.

[@billyhw99]

Wow, ungrateful much?

[@thancrow]

@@billyhw99 WTF!

[@prof_xhew2929]

Examine the (kjv, rv, or esv) bible; this is the source - pure no garbage; n allow deep examination- hope u find what that devout lady had

[@chrissonofpear1384]

@@prof_xhew2929 Yes, including why Satan was trusted with more knowledge, than Eve. Despite his copious design flaws...

[@prof_xhew2929]

@@chrissonofpear1384 Yes but we all including eve have / had enough knowledge to defeat / overcome him; But can we overcome our desire n psychology to do so; Or if we know we have it to do so n are careful with it (example host n her friends are careless w bible n knowlege)

[@archapmangcmg]

Stealing all your belongings is just.. that's beyond messed up. Ambushing you later manages to be even worse.

[@jezebelvibes]

People do really irrational things when they are acting from a place of fear

[@archapmangcmg]

@@jezebelvibes I couldn't agree more. It's amazing both how easy it is to get people on board and how terrible people can treat others when you control the levers of their fears. And what may be worst of all is the people who deliberately create those fears in us that they also exploit later.

[@archapmangcmg]

@@jezebelvibes Just got up to where you described meeting your now husband. First of all, congratulations! I'm so glad you found someone who is good for you after all that crap happening to you. Second, 15 years? I really thought you were in your 20s. Third, and most important, I hope you can heal more over time after these betrayals by those you should have been able to trust.

[@jezebelvibes]

Thank you! I have done a lot of healing in the past 15 years. I'm definitely in a much better place than I was. Best wishes to you

[@archapmangcmg]

@@jezebelvibes And you!

[@ubaldoa.rosario1832]

When I was 16, I was assigned a school project to elaborate a story and make a presentation with reenactments of the story but I made it like a short film. I played a warlock that used a spell book to curse his bullies. I had a blast doing the project with my teammates, it was a success, my class mates loved it, and my teacher was really proud. I showed it to my family pretty proud of the result but I was taken to the pastor. The following Sunday. I was lectured on how that corrupted my soul, I was shamed for it, how I wasn’t giving a good example and how I was tainting my testimony because I was part of the worship dance group. I left church feeling awful with myself and thinking I deserved punishment. I’m glad I left that place because they made me feel like my creativity was an abomination, I felt humiliated, and that I was condemning myself. In my church, many parents used to do similar internet activities printed out to show others what a teenage member was doing, wearing or saying to do such interventions. I had many similar incidents, and many of my friends back then probably went through worse cases than myself. We were a pretty tight group of friends but these interventions ended separating us. I do still have nightmares that I am arguing intensely with family members over my existence.

[@amygrowls]

That is terrible! I’m so sorry that happened to you 😢

[@delftblue8801]

Did you believe that a warlock was able to curse other people with spells from a book? Or was it just a play, a take off of an TV series or did you actually believe it?

[@ubaldoa.rosario1832]

@@delftblue8801 it was a character from a story. I didn’t cursed anyone. It was pretend. Acting.

[@bellacupcakes4765]

Ew. Some people are just so frustratingly delusional and disgustingly holier than thou. I hope you're doing way, way better now though. You deserve peace of mind. 🫶

[@tracyavent-costanza346]

now you know what keeps people from expressing minority views about anything. Instead they are staying within some subcultural bubble that they know they do not really belong to.

[@MadHarpy]

My mother was 40, dying of cancer, allowed by the doctor to come home for her last days. At my grandmother's home. My grandfather's family (but not him) were this type of 'christian'. They barged in, demanding that my mother be 'saved', singing hymns, reading from the Bible...stopping my grandmother from administering pain meds (so she'd know it would be worse in hell), stopped us kids and her friends from seeing her. She'd have been better in the hospital. I'm almost twice her age now and I will still never forgive them for what they did to her.

[@raybankin8342]

That is sad to hear. Not even Paul the apostle would have done that. I hope you have taken steps towards forgiving them so your mentality is healthy again.

[@crystalmanuel4863]

I’m only 27 minutes in and I need to pause. This breaks my heart.

[@jezebelvibes]

Thanks for being here

[@crystalmanuel4863]

@@jezebelvibes 🫶🏼

[@X.Draxius]

Yeah this is truly an insane experience to go through. I would have exploded and probably not talked to my family for years. I'm glad you're overcoming all of this, may peace be with you, Kristi

[@greyson1781]

It took me a long time to get through this one for the same reasons. I'm glad I watched all of it, but it took me a while.

[@amyway1049]

Thank you so much for sharing. I was beat as a child, along with my sisters. Dad made a 'swat chart' that roughly mirrored the ten commandments. Ten rules, if we broke one we'd get an equivalent number of 'swats' on our bare bottoms with dad's belt. I don't remember them all, but I think rule 6 was do not swear, number 7 was do not lie, number 8 or 9 was honor your mother and father (which is vague enough to cover any disrespectful looks), and number 10 was saying god's name in vain. We were literally beaten into submission. And they did it out of love, thinking they were saving our souls. It was incredibly traumatizing. It took me years to lose my faith. I'm 37 now and that's far in the past, but it still impacts me, you know? I deconstructed long ago. But trauma stays with us, always.

[@AnitaLife27]

Evilgelicals often resort to physical beatings. It’s disgusting! I’m so sorry you endured this. I escaped threats from my cult in 1977. I was very lucky to have been able to avoid their “spanking” for punishment for not being Jesusy enough. Sick people! I’m so glad I’m free of religion!!!!

[@juliebarks3195]

If you ever have to choose an old folks home for them just remember those traumatic cruel acts. It always amazes me how you can't hurt another adult but you can beat and harm the bodies of children.

[@matthewtucker2103]

Fellow survivor, we won't turn our backs on you! We will stand with you as a community!

[@paulgemme6056]

Just sharing the good news. There is no greater love than the love of God/Jesus Christ. Romans 5:8 But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

[@Ck87JF]

A short version of my trauma. I was a member of a pentacostal church for around 5 years starting in college (a couple Baptist-like churches going back to middle school before that). I felt really good there, and it seemed like people saw me as family. A few years into my time there, my partner had broken up with me, which completely devastated my world. She was supposed to be the one, God-ordained, etc. I went from being at the church any time the doors were open to disappearing for a few weeks. I sat in my house hating life and feeling so cut off from everything. During that time, NO ONE, including the pastor or his wife, both of which gave me hugs every Sunday reached out. Complete radio silence. I eventually went back, and later asked the pastor about it. He said he figured I didn't want to be bothered. It's crazy - I didn't want to be there anymore, but I felt trapped, obligated to keep going like a good little christian. It's part of why I moved out of state. A side note, which adds to this: during a time when I thought I was a "normal" cisgender heterosexual person, I would often hear queerphobic messages from this same pastor at the pulpit that made me feel uncomfortable. It was dressed up in religiosity, but sounded like hate. Later, I figured out that he was (unknowingly for both of us) talking about me.

[@kimberlyjohnson-clark2886]

How awful. I love my faith. I'm am not gay but the dean of my church is. The episcopal church is a very loving and open faith.

[@darkhill556]

I can’t imagine how difficult it must have been for you to make this video. Thank you for bearing witness to the kind of experiences that many of us have shared. We who have deconverted and regrounded ourselves need to do more to help those who are still trapped, closeted, or just afraid to leave their faith. Thank you for another outstanding video!

[@jezebelvibes]

Thanks so much for your kindness 😊

[@gregoryminton]

I felt palpable anger after watching this. I’m so sorry you went through this. I empathize with the hurt caused by this sick cult. Wishing you peace, love, and healing.

[@whiskeredtuna]

@gregoryminton, peace, love, and healing is in heaven with Jesus.

[@gregoryminton]

@@whiskeredtuna Matthew 15:24

[@chrissonofpear1384]

@@whiskeredtuna Sin, strife and war began in heaven...

[@irinaatanasova2335]

​@whiskeredtuna in words only in actions it's shame abuse and fear

[@RTTruth]

@@whiskeredtuna Amen Praise God

[@krishnajojo]

Absolutely 100% correct. I am also a former Southern Baptist Christian who went through some very hellish experiences when my parents found out I was gay. Would love to share my story with you sometime. Keep doing what you are doing. People need to understand the consequences when these insidious ideas and ideologies become embedded in well-meaning people. ❤❤ much love to you. Thank you for what you do .

[@Margo714P]

My son too is gay and he struggled so much with his experience in the Baptist church we went to. Everyone loved him there. As long as he kept quiet about being gay. Everyone knew it. Well, except my husband apparently (another story!). Now, my son is agnostic at the very least. He does not attend any church and that is the church's loss, let me tell you that. He was always there, always volunteering and always had a smile for everyone!

[@krishnajojo]

@@Margo714P so sorry to hear that. I went through a period of agnosticism and atheism also. I am still a person of faith, just an entirely different system : Hellenic polytheism in the Julian tradition that emphasizes the philosophy of Plato, Socrates, Iamblichus, etc. I have many wonderful atheist friends and agnostic as well as other faith adherents. The bottom line for me is that everyone deserves to be able to question what they believe, and that whether a person believes in something or not is irrelevant. It is how we treat one another, and how we apply our beliefs, if any, in our day to day lives. We also must question everything that is told to us as a matter of fact. Atheists in general are some of the most wonderfully moral people I have ever had the chance to get to know, and channels like this are desperately needed to educate and reduce the damage caused by harmful ideologies.

[@krishnajojo]

@@Margo714Pkeep being there for your son, and never think for a moment that just because he is agnostic he is somehow at a disadvantage. Sounds like you did a wonderful job raising him, and the amazing person he is will always shine through because no matter where he is spiritually or otherwise, the basic principles you instilled in him will continue throughout his life. Love truly does win. Never forget that ❤❤

[@prodigal_southerner]

I'm also a gay former Southern Baptist who had his fair share of hellish experiences. I'm glad you made it out and hope you were able to heal.

[@deegee9560]

Hugs! I'm feeling your trama! Wowowow! I knew deep down there must have been a story behind this gals change of heart! I'm trying to get over your story...I'm even shaking!!!! I've seen this intervention gone wrong many times!!! In the 70's/80's/90's they had camps that parents would have trap there kids and "reform" them! Police, church, courts said they were out of control! You were a sweet gal out of what your parents only thought was "belief" control and you certainly didn't deserve to be treated like that! But please forgive me in saying that God was watching out for your well being by having your future "husband" bump into you! That was amazing!!! Give your "Hero" husband a big hug! One of my friends who was a good kid and never caused problems had a "rude" experience...His parents said they would go to his high school graduation and be a little late! So he went with friends! After he graduated, couldn't find his parents, so he got a ride with some friends! So when he got home he couldn't open the door to the house! The locks were changed! A neighbor came around and told him that his parents had sold the house and moved out! This trauma caused him to become atheist! There are a lot of stories like this! I hope you can get counseling from time to time to get over all of this! Please forgive them and don't hold a grudge! This will only make you sick, and we need you!

[@AidanKelly-m7g]

Trauma isn't a competition. I was extremely unkind to people in the past because I didn't deem their trauma "a big deal." I'm sorry for that, and I am glad you got out

[@jezebelvibes]

We're all learning and growing ❤️

[@SharlaO]

I’m so sorry that happened to you 😢. Our stories are so similar except I was Pentecostal and saw hundreds of exorcisms by my teen years. I’ve been on both sides of those “interventions”. It is absolutely fear based! Fearing god was my fuel for every decision! My mom will die afraid because I am not convinced her god is real. It’s so sad. 😢. I have real peace for the first time in my life, because I’m an atheist. My kids will not experience what we did!! I saved their critical thinking skills! YOU HAVE HELPED ME WITH THAT!! Thank you 🙏🏻. So many anxiety disorders come from this type of religious abuse.

[@jezebelvibes]

Your kids are very lucky you got out and broke that cycle for them

[@SharlaO]

@@jezebelvibes Thank you love ❤️. I’d love to share my story with you on your channel. Maybe the only place I feel safe to do so. Your name is common one referenced in my deconstruction journey. 🥰🥰🥰

[@paulgemme6056]

@@SharlaO God/Jesus Christ never said believe in religion and you will have eternal life. Read the bible: John 11:25 Jesus said unto her, I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live: Faith in God/Christ Jesus not religion saves souls. The giver and sustainer of life is God/Jesus Christ not religion. Faith in the blood that Christ shed for the forgiveness of sin and the finished work that Christ completed on the cross. We must be born again, born of the Spirit (Holy Spirit), born from above. Read the gospel of John chapter three. Peace be with you!

[@DRfeelgoodMD]

Kristi, This was one of the most raw videos I have ever seen. PTSD may be lifelong, but your ability to tell this part of your life shows your tremendous strength. I'm glad you were able to find your husband and find support when everything was pulled away from you. I wish you all the best. ❤

[@BluStarGalaxy]

I never consider an apology with a “but” a real apology. I have been on the receiving end of an apology from a Christian where the main line of the apology was, “I am sorry you feel that way.” Pushes the blame back on the other person. It’s worse than saying nothing at all.

[@grayaj23]

We teach kids that they have to apologize when they've done something wrong, without giving a lot of consideration to whether or not they genuinely feel sorry. This leads to your issue -- people think that throwing around the "I'm sorry" is what an apology is. Apology should be an act of contrition -- an unqualified "I accept that what I did was wrong and that it caused you harm". It leads to another problem -- adults who think that once they say "I'm sorry", it erases any negativity. You can't bring it up again. "I SAID I WAS SORRY!" as if that wipes away the hurt and resentment.

[@Queenread82]

As a society we need to learn how to genuinely apologize.

[@casper-z9rkls6gl]

@@Queenread82 Apologize by Apostatizing, and then going on the offensive.

[@Queenread82]

@@casper-z9rkls6gl 👿

[@BluStarGalaxy]

@@Queenread82I agree.

[@variousblack7922]

There was a disabled person I worked with who had an extremely religious family. This person couldn't move without assistance but they could communicate their needs. They started to question their faith and the family wanted them to pray away the question of why would God make them the way he did. No counseling was offered months went by and I wasn't allowed to connect the person with a none religious group to help with some of their questions. They became depressed and decided they wanted to leave this world. The family basically asked " well since the can't move the only way out is if someone helped them." I was kicked off the case because I let the family know the person was considering death..... I got an update about them and the family did the same in this video a religious intervention and the person started actively trying to harm themselves in what little ways they had access to including refusing to eat..... To my knowledge they are still trapped in that situation with no one who will pay attention to their needs and everyone around them telling them to pray with no additional services being offered. You're story breaks my heart all over again for that person

[@seanhayes1996]

7:25 And here we get to the real crux of what this was about: control. Kids are more often than not (especially to religious parents) a status symbol and a legacy project to shape/mold into the "perfect representative of the family" rather than being seen as a living being with totally separate desires, needs and wants of their own.

[@Forrest1989]

​@@rivertonhigh-v4tfunny, because there is a verse in the Bible that states that children will NOT be punished for the sins of their parents.. I wouldn't expect for you to know that though. You people tend to cherry pick which verses you want to follow or not 🙄

[@derVilli]

​@@rivertonhigh-v4tand it is good, that parents have no control over their Kids. They are individuals who need to live their own lives.

[@sonohito5]

I realized that was my mother's attitude toward me not long into puberty. That wasn't even my first existential crisis in childhood. I don't even know if I would go to my family's funerals. I sure as hell don't want any of them coming to mine.

[@llynxfyre]

​@@rivertonhigh-v4tdo you think the abusive parents who use that book as a shield for theor behaviour care?

[@Letmebe_2363]

That's what so scary about religious people.. They'll go through horrific extremes and think nothing of it because "it's in the name of the lord" or whatever.. I'm so sorry you had to go through this... At the hands of your own parents no less.

[@Jon45678]

So true….

[@sallyjohnstone8535]

amen to that sorry couldnt resist the irony, in serious I agree 100% blind faith scares me, we need to think for ourselves n do the right thing not hurt anyone is the only rule we need (pretty much)

[@paulgemme6056]

@@Jon45678 God/Jesus Christ never said believe in religion and you will have eternal life. Read the bible: John 11:25 Jesus said unto her, I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live: Faith in God/Christ Jesus not religion saves souls. The giver and sustainer of life is God/Jesus Christ not religion. Faith in the blood that Christ shed for the forgiveness of sin and the finished work that Christ completed on the cross. We must be born again, born of the Spirit (Holy Spirit), born from above. Read the gospel of John chapter three. Peace be with you!

[@Jon45678]

@@paulgemme6056 The book of James mentions “true religion.” So you are incorrect to say Christianity is not religion. Christians do a lot of rituals then say it’s just a relationship.

[@paulgemme6056]

@@Jon45678 Taking care, helping those who can't care for themselves, that's true religion. True religion doesn't save souls, only faith (trusting) in the blood of Jesus Christ that he shed for the forgiveness of sins and the finished work that Christ complete on the cross. By grace through faith, we are saved it is not of our selves lest any man should boast. It's a free gift, the gift of God - internal life - to know him. Be Blessed! Peace be with you!

[@MicaLeal-yl8rq]

I admire you so much. You’ve helped me deconstruct this past year and accept life for what it is.

[@jezebelvibes]

Wishing you so much peace and healing on your journey

[@AlanObrien-if4ie]

Keep up the good work ,it can be very difficult leaving a religion but love will make you see real truth ,don't be afraid peace and joy will always guide you away from the prison of religious delusion,

[@lawlessappleking2101]

This is not about me, but your story is very similar to how my family found out I was gay. My father snoop around in my laptop and sat me in front of my family and outed me just like that. It ended with me crying in front of everyone and apologizing like I did something wrong. I’m in my thirties now and I don’t even have the confidence to date or even see other people like me because I was brainwashed into thinking I was wrong. I’m really glad you told your story and I wish I had half the courage you have.

[@andrewc6837]

You're not wrong and are perfect the way you are!

[@healthyplanet-b5z]

Please friend don't think of yourself as gay.

[@lawlessappleking2101]

@@healthyplanet-b5z and don’t think of yourself as my friend

[@paulgemme6056]

God/Jesus Christ never said believe in religion and you will have eternal life. Read the bible: John 11:25 Jesus said unto her, I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live: Faith in God/Christ Jesus not religion saves souls. The giver and sustainer of life is God/Jesus Christ not religion. Faith in the blood that Christ shed for the forgiveness of sin and the finished work that Christ completed on the cross. We must be born again, born of the Spirit (Holy Spirit), born from above. Read the gospel of John chapter three. Peace be with you!

[@prodigal_southerner]

The audacity of telling you that you were making bad choices after they put spyware on your computer.

[@StevenMyers-wx6du]

“Thank God” the ambush intervention wasn’t a “loving tactic” in the 80’s, when I went through the same life crises. I was purposely set up with different individuals during that time, but at least it was a one on one or two on one at a time. Thank you for sharing, and stressing the dangers when anyone puts God above family. You’re such a kind empathetic voice in our community, as I try to be. “For they know we are not Christians by our love”.

[@jezebelvibes]

Love that last line

[@RolfStones]

As a Dutch 4th generation atheist from my father's side, I have no experience with this kind of religious abuse. We do have a family story how my greatgrandfather threw their former pastor out of the house straight into a ditch, because he came to demand they came back to the church if my grandfather wanted to go to the (then) religious regional university. He was forced to go to trade school, they didn't have the money to send my grandfather halfway across the country. I appreciate how you talk about this. Thanks.

[@tracyavent-costanza346]

at least the USA of current day, does not seem to allow "church" officials to blithely assume political positions. But if we are collectively unwise enough to put donald trump back in the white house (instead of prison) who knows what comes next in the way of regressive developments. The religious right in my country would likely be quite emboldened in the above case, which is all the more reason to strongly oppose him and his minions assuming legal powers.

[@cherryjuice9946]

Your greatgrandfather was a fantastic man. I wish my family had someone like him. Even I haven't yet thrown a pastor into the ditch. Sadly, none visit my house, and I don't have a nearby ditch. I do frighten with Jehovah Witnesses though, but that's the best I can do.

[@casper-z9rkls6gl]

I've met numerous Dutch people. They say their country is largely post-Christian and irreligious. Indeed those who come knocking on their front doors are all Korean or Korean-American.

[@RolfStones]

@@cherryjuice9946 to be fair. It wasn't his plan to throw him into the ditch, just out of the door.

[@RolfStones]

@@casper-z9rkls6gl I haven't heard of the Koreans in the Netherlands. We do have a bible belt. But overall people are irreligious.

[@rbeard325]

This is so refreshing to hear. I was raised in a very similar environment. Religion was forced on me my entire life. I remember my parents let me use the car and I left a Michael Jackson cd in it by accident. Needles to say they found it and had an intervention with me as if they found drugs. As an adult my father called me but I didn't answer because I was at work. He left a voice mail on my phone telling me I needed to honor him or my days on Earth would be cut short. He also said that my actions were demonic. After many years of this type of behavior, it made me question why a so called Christian would treat their child this way. This is one of the things among many others that started to unravel my faith. To make a long story short, I lost my faith and found myself. I don't have a relationship with my parents, but I feel better mentally than I ever have in my life. Keep producing these videos because you are helping more people than you know.

[@TheCdr19]

My religious trauma was not as bad as yours. But as a Latino raised in an evangelical home, I was often told my depression and anxiety were consequences of sin in my life, even though I followed every commandment and was baptized at 14. I had grown adults tell me to stop being so quiet, it makes you look gay and no girl wants to be with that. I saw inappropriate and suggestive conversations between youth group leaders and minors, and then was met with hostility when I tried to call them out. A friend of mine who grew up in the same church came out as gay and was kicked out of the house by his parents. I watched in helpless disgust as the pastor justified this decision by citing Satan’s influence on my friend. The result was years of untreated generalized anxiety disorder and helplessness that I only recently, at age 30, have started to seek help for. I am still dealing with deep seated hatred for religion in general because of my experiences. Anyways thank you for sharing your story with us. You’re awesome for providing us with a soothing safe space for those of us with religious trauma.

[@spider-woman9482]

@11olneyr I'm sure you mean well, but please don't tell a person suffering from religious trauma that God is real etc. It comes across as invalidating and as if you really are not listening. Their choice to believe in a god or not is theirs, and they will find their final answer at their own time, naturally, not by a religious person's mouth. It's borderline manipulation because that person is still very much hurting and confused.

[@TheCdr19]

⁠​⁠@11olneyr I genuinely appreciate your comment and thank you for your kindness. I’ll have to disagree on the matter of a god existing but I believe that we find humanity and empathy in all circles, including Christian ones. I’m focused now on accepting myself, accepting people for who they are, and not letting any dogma or irrational fear cloud my perception of humanity. Best to you and yours as well

[@paulgemme6056]

@@spider-woman9482 It's God's Word (the living Word - Jesus Christ) that cause one to have faith. Read the word (bible) with the right motive (to know the truth - Jesus Christ) and your soul will be saved. Read Romans chapter three. The only reason I share the good news (gospel) is because I read the Word (bible) and learn that all have sinned and need God's/Jesus Christ's Grace and Mercy. We are not sinners because we sin, we sin because we are sinners. If a man says he has never sinned he is a liar, and the truth (Jesus Christ - Holy Spirit) is not in him. Look around - evil/sin runs rampant. We are in the last days. Pray and ask God/Jesus Christ/Holy Spirit) to reveal truth (himself) to you. No religion needed. Just faith, faith plus nothing. It is written.

[@lunatrick7098]

I was raised as an evangelical holiness church pastor's kid.... and what you experienced was a form of abuse that so many of us went through. It is absolutely borne of fear... they simply cannot face any sort of world where their faith doesn't rule everything. I remember such 'freak out' moments... one when I tried to share my own biblical research with family members and they just lost it and screamed that I was full of the devil. I scared them because I hinted at this whole other world where everything they believed and spent their lives following was a lie or an absurdity. What stunned me was the pure irrational nature and almost childlike quality of their fear... and how absolutely horrified they were at any sort of religious study outside of their controlled environment. I'm sure you had to sit through 'A Thief in the Night' or other such films where they mentally abused children with horror stories about what happens to those who 'backslide' or leave the fold. That constant cycle of fear, loathing, unworthiness, guilt, and repression of all natural urges was very unhealthy to all those subjected to it, many of which never escape. I realised later that in seeking knowledge I was reenacting the original sin... and that is something they just can't handle on any level. The despicable bullying tactics of pastors, youth group leaders, elders.... ganging up on people for daring to form any sort of critical thought or independent searching is something I couldn't countenance for long. Everything, and I mean everything, is about coercion and force... even the timing of the church organ music at the alter call... it's nauseating. Despite the pain and the PTSD you face... the best thing is to forever walk away, It is a negative and dark death cult that tries to teach you that everything natural in you is evil... and that this life is to be surrendered to a despotic god bent on eternal adoration. The whole blood sacrifice motif is an ancient and ugly bronze age notion that the human race should have outgrown by now... what a horrible way to live life... such mental slavery....and there is absolutely no genuine love in any of it. As with you, the best thing I did was to leave it all behind and become free of such a dark neurosis. I'm glad to see so many on the chat threads finding liberation from the religion they were shackled with at birth. Keep speaking your truth... there is so much more light in the gnosis of self-learning and exploration.

[@melindaturner2527]

What a wonderful, truth-filled comment. My dad was a Church of Christ preacher and looking back I now realize everything was about control, my dad even tried to control me when I was in my 30s, married on my own. Yes, they think they are right even when you prove them wrong. I enjoy seeing so many share their stories,there are so many of us. I have only been deconstructing for 2 1/2 years,it took me so long to get out of that environment, it's so harmful.

[@sallyjohnstone8535]

glad u got out mate, they're all nutters

[@paulgemme6056]

@@melindaturner2527 God/Jesus Christ never said believe in religion and you will have eternal life. Read the bible: John 11:25 Jesus said unto her, I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live: Faith in God/Christ Jesus not religion saves souls. The giver and sustainer of life is God/Jesus Christ not religion. Faith in the blood that Christ shed for the forgiveness of sin and the finished work that Christ completed on the cross. We must be born again, born of the Spirit (Holy Spirit), born from above. Read the gospel of John chapter three. Peace be with you!

[@Rickytbird]

I grew up an atheist. I lost count the number of time so-called "good, caring Christians" told me that me and my family would be punished for eternity because we didn't believe in their imaginary friend. I'm not even religious and I have religious trauma.

[@0NeverEver]

I am one of the Christians that do not take the bible as unaltered word of God. As such I have to say that the highest command of Jesus is evidence against hell. Jesus in this command actually says that it's two commands but that they are on the same level (in legal terms that means a conflict between both rules must be logically impossible). The first is loving your God and the second is loving yourself and your next. But if hell would be true than you would have to deny love to yourself and your next. Indeed you must hate yourself and your next to still love God under such conditions - so hell is logical impossible. I think this was one of the tricks with which Jesus protected his core message from political tampering and forgery. Because you can see from other passages that he is really really smart. After explainig that I will leave you in peace again. I accept that many atheist have good reasons to be atheist.

[@Rickytbird]

@@0NeverEver please don’t preach at atheists. We don’t care.

[@RoseGoddess11]

Oh my gosh, I feel so sorry for you. I understand were you're coming from. This family stuff sounds so familiar to me it was almost triggering. Waking up screaming is such a thing for me, too. I'm glad you're healing and moving on, thank you for sharing this so others don't feel so alone in this kind of thing. 😔

[@sun1one1]

This is the kind of anti-religion content that we need. Not people endlessly arguing over whether God exists. Thank you for sharing.

[@TheAlchaemist]

I'd say both contents are needed because both sides of the coin are real. For those who have a more logical inclination, from all religious backgrounds (not just the craziest end) the logical inconsistencies which are blatant in all religions, feed the cognitive dissonance that normally already exists. So they are needed. But of course this will not wake up everyone. Especially in the USA religious landscape. These stories show them that they are not alone and that we atheists are just normal people, who often had roughy journeys.

[@Emceemami]

I agree. This is the relatable stuff which needs to be shared with other Christians because they either have no idea it’s happening, or they don’t realize how wrong it is.

[@peterblock6964]

Whether YHWH exists, @@rivertonhigh-v4t, is an open question. If it does, it most certainly is no more God than Zeus is.

[@daa5249]

@@Emceemami Yeah, we don't victims, poor us!

[@davidwoolbright3675]

No. God does not exist.

[@Casperrenee228]

My heart goes out to you. You may not realize just how many children you just saved today & tomorrow from trauma with many young parents who listened to your story. My heart breaks for children also. Thank you Kristi for sharing your story ❤

[@katwitanruna]

Break the silence. Break the cycle.

[@Hajkaknsn]

Thank you for sharing. I’m 14, and I am currently living in a Christian household. My entire extended family is Christian as well, and I feel kind of crazy in a way for questioning this religion. It seems like everyone has just accepted these beliefs, it just feels too “perfect” if you get what I’m saying. They’ll say “Jesus has given us a free gift of salvation”, but to me, dedicating your whole ideology and way of thinking isn’t “free”. It just hurts because my whole family expects me to fall in line with them, but I don’t know if I ever will. I don’t want the answer first and the evidence last, I want the truth, whatever it may be. My dad has specifically told me, “In the end, I don’t care what path you take as long as you love Jesus and always keep your eyes on him.”, and whenever I ask questions about the Bible (which I rarely do anymore), he gets all defensive. Honestly, I don’t deny the existence of a God, I actually believe there is something out there, but I can’t wrap my head around Christianity. I’m just scared about what my family will think of me if I leave Christianity. Sorry to vent lol, I just wanted to thank you for sharing your experiences and promoting critical thinking because I think questioning things is important. Have a good day :)

[@rebeccacarlson9166]

You definitely were traumatized. I'm sorry you went through that. You've been able to use it to your advantage, although the scars won't ever go away. Thanks for your help in my deconstruction.

[@_S0me__0ne]

I recently had an aha m moment realizing and remembering another event that spurred my deconversion. My firstborn getting saved and baptized triggered me. I hadn't realized how traumatic my religious upbringing had been until I deconverted.

[@jezebelvibes]

I'm sorry you're dealing with religious trauma. Please check out recoveringfromreligion.org for resources! they can help

[@chemtrooper1]

Your story is another example that Jesus and Christianity doesn’t actually change anyone, it’s just a mental construct people use to justify their own beliefs and actions. Thank you for sharing! I admire your bravery 🥲

[@JoanneArc-or9sr]

Speak for yourself. So many peoples lives and selves have been transformed for the better including myself and i was not raised religious what so ever. I chose Jesus out of my own accord, no one forced me too or cornered me with bibles. I was a tarot card, new ager who always took an interest in witchcraft and the spiritual side of things. I denounced all that before i turned 17 and got baptised. I am 39 and my faith in Jesus never wavered and it never will

[@dirkdisselpuff7938]

​@@JoanneArc-or9srin your comments you state that we have to obey God, why on Earth is that not abuse and why would i believe you that you choose to believe that is a good thing to believe. I Do not buy your Routine. Be healthy.

[@Stinkabutt42069]

@@JoanneArc-or9srgreat man… as an ex christian myself, it’s really sad to see this honestly. Especially knowing how different my life could have been, how much more joy i could’ve had , my most formative years of my life ripped away from me. (I was indoctrinated from birth, so basically the opposite of your situation, however I have to wonder how you fell for it after your critical thinking skills developed…) I just hope your happy, and never know the pain of realizing it’s all for nothing and you’ve wasted your life living in a way you never would have otherwise, as myself and many a modern atheist has. (Most atheists in America at least used to be religious)

[@AliciaLovesYAHUSHA]

​@@dirkdisselpuff7938 Is it abuse to expect children to obey their parents? Parents give their children rules for their own good. Likewise, our Creator gave us Instructions to live by for the benefit of ourselves and others. Such as respect your parents, don't murder, don't worship idols, don't steal or commit adultery, don't covet what belongs to your neighbor or bear false witness against your neighbor. All of the Commandments hang upon the two greatest Commands and those are to love our Maker and our neighbor as ourself. We were given free will by our Creator. We were given the choice to either obey His righteous Instructions for life and be blessed or to disobey and suffer the consequences for our own actions. Do parents not have the right to tell their grown up children to move out if they refuse to abide by the house rules? This earth belongs to our Creator and He has entrusted us with it until His return. His Kingdom is coming and He is going to rule and reign in perfect righteousness. He invites us to live eternally in His Kingdom but just like any king, our King has decrees / Laws! What do you suppose happens to those who defy the King? They are put to death. Our God is a consuming fire. He is not corrupt, He will judge and punish wickedness. He is Holy and He expects us to obey His Household rules. The Word says His Commandments are not burdensome and they aren't. They are a delight! ❤️ If you don't want to obey Him, you do not have to but you most certainly will not be granted access to His glorious Kingdom. That simple. The wicked will perish (meaning they will experience the second death and be extinguished) but the righteous will receive eternal life and be permitted to live in the beautiful new earth He is going to create. ❤️ "No eye has seen, no ear has heard and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love Him." (1 Corinthians 2:9) "Blessed are those that keep His Commandments that they may have right to the Tree 🌳 of Life and enter through the gates into the City." (Revelation 22:14)

[@AliciaLovesYAHUSHA]

​​@@dirkdisselpuff7938 Is it abuse to expect children to obey their parents? Parents give their children rules for their own good. Likewise, our Creator gave us Instructions to live by for the benefit of ourselves and others. Such as respect your parents, don't murder, don't worship idols, don't steal or commit adultery, don't covet what belongs to your neighbor or bear false witness against your neighbor. All of the Commandments hang upon the two greatest Commands and those are to love our Maker and our neighbor as ourself. We were given free will by our Creator. We were given the choice to either obey His righteous Instructions for life and be blessed or to disobey and suffer the consequences for our own actions. Do parents not have the right to tell their grown up children to move out if they refuse to abide by the house rules? This earth belongs to our Creator and He has entrusted us with it until His return. His Kingdom is coming and He is going to rule and reign in perfect righteousness. He invites us to live eternally in His Kingdom but just like any king, our King has decrees / Laws! What do you suppose happens to those who defy the King? They are put to death. Our God is a consuming fire. He is not corrupt, He will judge and punish wickedness. He is Holy and He expects us to obey His Household rules. The Word says His Commandments are not burdensome and they aren't. They are a delight! ❤️ If you don't want to obey Him, you do not have to but you most certainly will not be granted access to His glorious Kingdom. That simple. The wicked will perish (meaning they will experience the second death and be extinguished) but the righteous will receive eternal life and be permitted to live in the beautiful new earth He is going to create. ❤️ "No eye has seen, no ear has heard and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love Him." (1 Corinthians 2:9) "Blessed are those that keep His Commandments that they may have right to the Tree 🌳 of Life and enter through the gates into the City." (Revelation 22:14)

[@CtDDtC1919]

Kristi, being of Assiniboine, and Ojibwe descent, I was raised Catholic on a rez just below the Canada/US border. I was an alter-boy and gave my all to the faith, but as I grew and learned the history of how the early Missionaries forced their religion on my people, and the atrocities that were involved, I got to a point where I started to deconstruct. The threat of Hell was a powerful weapon against freedom of thought and I really struggled with it. Your videos have really validated my personal experience. I want to thank you for that. Years later, I moved South and ended up in Denver for a while. I had my first exposure to Evangelical Christians. Ho..Lee..Crap! And I thought the Catholics were bad! One of the things about them that really rubbed me the wrong way was their tendency to flaunt their religion in public, especially prayer-wise. I was with a few of my native friends at a Village Inn restaurant one Sunday. We were quietly enjoying ourselves and were speaking with the waitress. We had been in there many times and she had come to know us well. She would often come up and give us hugs when we arrived. SO anyway, were were eating and talking with Suzanne (the waitress), when a group of about 15 people walked in. Suzanne said quietly. "Oh great. Here comes my weekly nightmare" My buddy T asked her about this. She told us that Church Groups are the absolute worst. They are demanding, and despite the fact that you run your rear off for them, they rarely tip, and if they do, it is very little. She said "Because of the tax I'm expected to pick up on the bill, I actually lose money with Church Groups... and they are a pain in the butt". Well, a few moments later they were placed at 2 tables pushed end to end along side out booth. It became obvious that they had never heard of "Inside Voices", but hey... we are Live and let Live kinds of guys. We didn't talk with Suzie too much after that as they kept her running back and forth, but after she brought out all their food, one of the group stood up and spoke even more loudly to address the group and lead them in a prayer. Not a big deal as far as I am concerned, but it was the way he was looking at all the other people in the restaurant, as if he was trying to show what good Christians they were... like it was all for our benefit. It was a facepalm/cringe moment. So after they all (loudly) said "Amen" , I looked at my boys and said "Alright... Jingle Pow Wow", then I stood up at the end of our booth and said loudly to include them as they did us... "LET US PRAY IN THE TRADITION OF OUR ANCESTORS!!" The boys started bomping their fists on the table to simulate drumming and I started in with the chanting and whooping. We did this for a minute or two, then I said a few random words in the Algonquian language for effect. I think I said "Mother" and "Coyote" but what the heck, they wouldn't know it. Then I sat down. I looked up and a bunch of them were giving us the stink eye. I looked back toward the kitchen and Suzie was laughing with a towel wadded up to her mouth. We made eye contact, and she gave me a thumbs-up! The group ended up leaving before we did. Suzie said that they usually stick around for a long time, but they didn't this time. I think we made them uncomfortable. I apologized to her for causing e a bad scene She said "What YOU did was no less obnoxious that what THEY did. Why is it OK for them to flaunt their religion but if you do the same with your faith, it is totally out of line?". I nodded and ate my pancakes.

[@767driver4]

THANK YOU for sharing Kristi! My deconstruction was much easier, and I have NO DOUBTS testimonies such as yours will benefit others immensely who are struggling with it. And remember…. “Religion poisons everything” - Christopher Hitchens

[@tracyavent-costanza346]

i do tend to agree with hitch's views on a lot of things. Generally it would appear that humans have a huge capacity to develop elaborate mythologies to justify their antisocial behaviors. Hence when you are a violent person, you can come up with all kinds of excuses that make it okay in your own brain apparently.

[@batking911]

Christians don’t pray, they prey. So sorry this happened to you and glad you had support from your now husband and are on the road to recovery. Fellow religious trauma sufferer who has spent thousands on therapy in recent years.

[@lemsip207]

Yes, especially when it's friendship evangelism. It is not real friendship, but the target thinks it is until it's too late.

[@tracyavent-costanza346]

even from a theological standpoint, why would an allegedly omnipotent/omniscient god, need to be told by mortal humans WHAT TO DO.

[@thing1thing2themediamaniac43]

​@lemsip207 As an Ex Evangelical myself who left The Christian Faith during Covid. Because The Covid Mandates and The Churches total embrace of The Mandates completely opened my eyes to the fact that The Christian Faith is a Slave Doctrine. I can say as someone who has been on both sides of Evangelical Friendship The person doing The Evangelizing often thinks that that they are being a friend. Of course there are Christians who just see Evangelism sa Sales for their Congregation. I never liked Street Evangelism Friendship Evangelism is more palatable. I see it all as a FARCE now.

[@lemsip207]

Captain Cassidy wrote about her experiences of that in school. She was a military kid, so she moved around a lot with her family and was often the new girl in school. That made her a vulnerable target to pushy evangelical Christians who invited her to a pizza blast. She went as she wasn't desperate for pizza but for a social life and friends. Then, after conversion, she was dropped like a hot brick by the popular girl who invited her. These popular kids don't invite their actual friends outside the church as they risk losing them, but only ones they don't know very well or even like as people because they don't care about risking losing them as potential friends.

[@casper-z9rkls6gl]

@@lemsip207 These proselytizers operate in counter-intuitive ways. Among any given crowd at train stations, parks or downtowns, they NEVER, ever approach _cool_ people with their friends, or couples. Instead, they ALWAYS single out and pounce on lonely, single, wimpy, nerdy, naïve-looking individuals . . . Come to think of it, that's exactly how wolf packs operate as documented on Animal Planet.

[@Westdash6785]

Kristi, you really are a great communicator! Whenever I start listening to you I can’t stop-thanks for being here.

[@Mehki227]

My stepson confessed to me that he was not religious not a believer but he had married his high school sweetheart who came from this strict Christian family she was whole school the whole nine yards. They attended church regularly whatever and finally after years of misery and not being able to have fun or as he told me a beer after work with friends he wanted a divorce and he said the final straw was her having the church elders come over to his house and basically try to perform an intervention and tell him the reason why the church wasn't thriving was all his fault and he was a sinner. He told me he was just tired of hearing how awful and terrible and sinful he was when all he wanted to do was live and enjoy life. The wife didn't want to work or she worked in the church for very low pay and he was struggling to raise their three children. The kids were behind because she was supposed to be homeschooling them and he put them in public school. Anyway the kids turned out in my opinion to be very lovely respectful human beings.

[@Iwouldn_tdothatifiwereyoU]

i couldn't bring myself to watch this video in its entirety, but it's sadly comforting to know that i'm not the only one with trauma like this. thank you so much for making this video, i know that you know how much this means to your viewers. you're so strong, and you make it just a little bit easier for us to be strong too.

[@tracyavent-costanza346]

know that your pain matters.

[@briannamorrison380]

What's crazy is that they thought you were doing something wrong, but they lied to people to get them into the house to have an intervention for you. Your grandmother, who was praying so hard for you, sinned when she threw herself on the floor and had you falsely accused of pushing her. Why do these so-called Christians not notice their own sin?

[@MarceldeJong]

They much rather look at the splinters in someone else's eye than notice the plank in front of their own face.

[@yzettasmith4194]

I thought about that stuff, too. What a bunch of liars!

[@AlastorTheNPDemon]

The ends justify the means. As long as they accept the cold-blooded murder of Jesus as proof they are saved, wear an execution device around their necks, and seek to dominate the world as proof of the framework's truth, anything goes. It is an unapologetically unprincipled system, but take notice that Christians outside of the Western sphere of influence don't act this way - they maintain the humanity of their land, something Commonwealth nations lack.

[@BluStarGalaxy]

Thanks for sharing your story Kristi. Takes a lot of courage. I’m so sorry that you had to go through that.

[@jezebelvibes]

Thank you

[@BluStarGalaxy]

@@jezebelvibes Definitely. I hope you continue to heal. You got this. 👍❤️

[@gildacollazo5807]

Wow. That was an emotionally wrenching video for me to get through. I can't imagine how much it took out of you to film it. You are one of the wisest, kindest, and most beautiful people I have 'met' on KZbin. I hope more and more people discover you, so they don't feel alone trying to figure all this out. I am forever grateful for all I have learned watching your videos. Wish I could bottle up a hug and send it to you. You deserve a thousand.

[@BobMillspaughMusic]

That was beyond moving... And oh, so relatable. When I was 7 years old, I accidentally watched an old black & white movie called "Dante's Inferno". I was so traumatized because it showed masses of people in agony, in Hell. Combined with my Baptist upbringing and an ultra-judgmental home life, I was having a mental breakdown with no one to help me for years to come... My road to recovery (not yet 100%) could fill a book or two it seems, but for now I will just simply say - Thank you for sharing this, dear Kristi.

[@Raz.C]

Wow... It's funny what causes trauma, isn't it? When I was 8 or 9, it was still the dark days of the cold war. A documentary came on TV, going into detail about what would happen if the Soviets and yanks ever got into it and exchanged nukes. The vivid, detailed explanations of what a post-nuclear holocaust world would be like... It broke me.

[@jezebelvibes]

so sorry to hear you went through that, but so happy you're recovering

[@Alpha0371]

Violating a person's privacy like that is uncalled for. So much for Christian parents and grandparents.

[@Dustandfuzz]

Yes, not typical of Christians. The ones I know are decent people. This was just terrible parenting.

[@paulgemme6056]

@@Dustandfuzz God/Jesus Christ never said believe in religion and you will have eternal life. Read the bible: John 11:25 Jesus said unto her, I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live: Faith in God/Christ Jesus not religion saves souls. The giver and sustainer of life is God/Jesus Christ not religion. Faith in the blood that Christ shed for the forgiveness of sin and the finished work that Christ completed on the cross. We must be born again, born of the Spirit (Holy Spirit), born from above. Read the gospel of John chapter three. Peace be with you!

[@TheAtheistMexican78]

I am glad you mentioned how you don't get to choose what traumatizes you. My own guilt and contempt at myself for feeling trauma when other people have it worse has made my depression far worse.

[@jezebelvibes]

I've been through this cycle so much. We're often told to suck it up and move on. Not just in religious circles, but in our societies as well. I'm not sure if you live in the US, but we have a very "fix it and get over it" mentality in the states. One really important lesson I've learned is that by acknowledging my pain and giving myself compassion through the healing process, it opens my heart to understand and empathize with the pain of others. We are often taught in churches that if we look at ourselves we are selfish and sinful. But when we examine ourselves and practice self love and compassion, we become more compassionate toward others ❤️ don't diminish your own pain. Your feelings are valid, and you deserve love and healing.

[@katherineg9396]

Miguel, I wish you healing and peace.

[@yzettasmith4194]

I can really relate to this.

[@sundayoliver3147]

One of the things Gabor Mate says about trauma is that the trauma isn't the event that happens outside you; it's the event that happens *inside* you. For instance as a child my sister was traumatized by having a black widow pointed out to her, while I was just impressed. On the other hand, I was sensitive to things she was not. I think it really helps to get out of the hierarchy game, where everything has to have some kind of a rating, including trauma.

[@TheAtheistMexican78]

@@jezebelvibes I am grateful for the people in my life who have helped me to get over the last few years. The tendency to invalidate the pain of others is secular, as well as religious. However, it's the religious who claim to be the compassionate elite, which hurts. I'm still trying to intentionally build compassion for my own feelings. My therapist works on this with me weekly.

[@stoptrolling11]

For anyone here who has broken away from religion, I'm proud of you. We're going to a time were starting to call religion what it actually is - its the embodyment of Ego. A need to contoll another through feelings, imgination and fear. Fear being the detrament if it. When someone says "my god." think of them saying "my ego" instead and it makes so much more since. "My ego doesnt want you to do this. My ego loves you, but only if you fear it. My ego is going to make everything better, but only if you believe." For everyone who has let go of their Ego~ I adore you for being kind. We only have eatchother after all.

[@jeremiahkisimba5938]

I'm glad you got out that toxic cult ❤️❤️

[@jezebelvibes]

Thank you so much!

[@CaliforniaSurfer-gc2xv]

EVIL CULT DON'T CARE WHAT IT IS THAT MADE THSI WORLD, IT IS AN EVIL PSYCHO

[@CaliforniaSurfer-gc2xv]

So GALD I am a LONER, and have no friends at all, and no family that is part of THIS EVIL PEDO RAPE GENOCIDE SLAVERY CULT took me 1/2 hours christendumb2 video to show me EVIL BOOK has Contradictions, Plagiarism, LIES and CAN'T HAVE ONE OF THEM, AS EVIL YWH WRITE IN HIS BOOK THAT' S IT. I BAILED AND SO LOVE PEOPLE TO EXPOSE THSI EVIL CULT

[@nate666]

I live in Stockton, central California. They say North ☝️ is up and south is down 👇. Heaven is above and hell is below. North of my city is the Trinity National Forest (Father Son Holy Spirit) above the city of Paradise. South of my city is a small city of Firebaugh 🔥🔥 Los Angeles Lakers, Death Valley, things written down there that reminded me of hell: Fire, fallen angels thrown in a lake of fire, death. That freaked me out and since then I've been doing my best to head up north to the Trinity National Forest and the city of Paradise if you see what I'm saying. 😬🤯 There is a mountain called Diablo (devil) west of my city and a small city called Angels Camp to the east. I was just like you until I started noticing the subliminal message around my city. Hope that helps you out. ✌️

[@OrichalcumHammer]

@@nate666 so entire city made into a subliminal message to push chrstanity

[@OldDeuteronomy555]

Thank you so much for sharing this. As someone who grew up in an African evangelical family this experience has been my entire life. None of my friends have been through what I've been through so often I can feel like no one understands. This video has helped me feel much less alone. ❤❤

[@jezebelvibes]

you're definitely not alone

[@patriciakumar115]

Kristi, I'm so grateful to you for sharing your trauma-filled personal story here on your channel. Undoubtedly, you're helping to ease the trauma of others by making it very clear that they are not alone and that there is help out there. Thank you, Kristi, for your incredibly valuable insights.

[@ameliadesertsong]

Religion cost me all of my friends and all of my family. This is why I am now an atheist. Watching your content has helped me so much in resolving a lot of my anger and hatred towards people of my past. I am also an ex Baptist. Had I not met my now wife online, I likely wouldn’t be here today. I’m so glad you found your husband :) so many people like us had their lives so terribly destroyed they never recover. This video I’m sure is going to help so many people!

[@JakeFreedatLast]

Thank you

[@matthieud5545]

Thank you so much for being that vulnerable with us. It gives me courage to keep going trough my deconversion which is a really hard process. I admire you courage!!

[@jezebelvibes]

Thanks so much - I appreciate you! Keep going, and give yourself plenty of room to heal. You've got this!

[@walrusnom]

Thank you for sharing this. I see a lot of parallels with people’s accounts of coming out of the closet as LGBTQ and the trauma they experience from their family/community. The horrendous treatment that you suffered at the hands of your family reminds me of the quote: “With or without religion, good people can behave well and bad people can do evil; but for good people to do evil - that takes religion.”

[@tracyavent-costanza346]

amen to that.

[@Jeff-dx3ql]

I'm always amazed at the terrible things people are willing to do in the name of their religion and/or god. This is helpful, for me, on so many levels and probably many others. I'm grateful you are here sharing your story Kristi. I thank you for that!

[@lindsaylindseyjr.9336]

Love love love you authenticity little sister! Big time! Thank you so much for sharing your story! I will share with you with others! Such bright shining Compassion💜🎈

[@krishnajojo]

Also, I came out when I was 19. I am 45 now and still continue to have nightmares of suffering in hell and with unnecessary guilt. I have been married to a wonderful man for 7 years now who has helped me in ways that the church or faith could NEVER do. I have been able to heal in many ways, but still struggle with things, especially from my position in life now. People must understand that the truth will indeed set you free, but not before shattering all of your preconceived notions and childhood indoctrinations. Only then can you rise from the ashes and ruins and press onward for real TRUTH, which is no respector of any religion, ideology, or false concept of life.

[@tracyavent-costanza346]

@rivkatraum and elsewhere it is a common statement from a GLBT person that they are still gay even if not in a relationship or basically choose to be celibate.

[@CplAnguadaEarth]

I love your phrasing.

[@paulgemme6056]

@@tracyavent-costanza346 God/Jesus Christ never said believe in religion and you will have eternal life. Read the bible: John 11:25 Jesus said unto her, I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live: Faith in God/Christ Jesus not religion saves souls. The giver and sustainer of life is God/Jesus Christ not religion. Faith in the blood that Christ shed for the forgiveness of sin and the finished work that Christ completed on the cross. We must be born again, born of the Spirit (Holy Spirit), born from above. Read the gospel of John chapter three. Peace be with you!

[@melissashiels7838]

Man, I thought my pastor and his wife were out of pocket for inviting me to lunch at their house after church, only to tell me off for missing too much church over the summer (I missed 2 or 3 Sundays because I got involved in a new hobby), but this is next level! I left that church soon after, am now an atheist (took 8 years of deconstructing), but am still doing my hobby!

[@lemsip207]

I found that if you skipped church once or twice, it would be difficult to return because you were told that you should be there every Sunday. I used to go to church even with a cold or headache. Had I had flu, though, I wouldn't have gone to church. I used to go through phases of only going to Sunday evening services, and I would be questioned about not being in the morning service. In some churches, the evening service is the main service, so they don't question people who weren't in the morning service. I found that you couldn't decide to go to church every other Sunday or once a month that you could with a lot of other things. It had to be all or nothing.

[@tracyavent-costanza346]

@@lemsip207 it's no wonder that the right wing religious community in the USA was engulfed with COVID-19 cases. they refused to do any of the anti-viral-spread advisories. I presume a lot of them are dead now and discovering that their eschatology wasn't right either.

[@PokemonRules333]

@@lemsip207 tbh though that's how brainwashing works if you are not there everyday you can think for yourself

[@PolymorphicPenguin]

Thank you for sharing this very personal story, Kristi. Christians like myself need to listen to you and to learn from your story and to do better. Your parents hurt you in an incredibly severe and long-lasting way. I hope any Christian who watches this video and had previously been planning a similar "intervention" now rejects that idea. If our approach to try to make people follow Jesus ends with those people getting PTSD, we clearly need to change what we are doing.

[@jezebelvibes]

Thank you for always having an open heart. Your comments are always welcome! And it shows we can disagree and still see each other as humans ❤️

[@PolymorphicPenguin]

@@jezebelvibes Thank you for your incredibly kind words, Kristi.

[@tracyavent-costanza346]

even from an arguably "christian" perspective, if you don't trust that god will ultimately re-attract, MAYBE THERE REALLY IS SOMETHING DEFECTIVE IN YOUR IDEOLOGY. So instead, profoundly manipulative tactics are the standard routine for an apparently apostate. WHERE IS THE TRUST THAT GOD IS DRIVING THE BUS THEN?

[@tracyavent-costanza346]

@@PolymorphicPenguin that would be CREDIBLY KIND (just to be technically accurate)

[@QuestionThingsUseLogic]

​​​@@PolymorphicPenguinwishing you all the best! From an ex-christian of 50 years, now a happy Atheist. 😊

[@geezz99]

Whoooaa .. gezz that gave me ptsd .. just hearing your story ..you are a truly amazing person , total respect Kristi !!

[@MGNC1989]

Hi Kristi! I’ve been watching your videos for a while now- I love your content and you’ve been instrumental in helping me go through my own deconstruction over the years. Thank you for sharing this experience with us. It’s so sad to hear someone as kind-hearted as you go through that. I grew up southern Baptist as well (and also Pentecostal holiness)- I’ll be we have a lot of very similar experiences. The train track analogy you brought up is LITERALLY what my southern Baptist pastor used to talk bring up as a justification for a lot of what he preached.

[@WolfoxBR]

Oh, Kristi, I'm so sorry that happened to you. One can hear the pain in your voice as you relive those moments. No one should have to go through that, but, despite the marks it's left, I'm glad you're in such a better place today, to the point you're helping people who went through the same things... I appreciate that so deeply. So thank you for this video and for everything you do here.

[@ronn0246]

I know how frustrating is when people use religion to justify their actions. I know how frustrating is to have people who think they understand you and know what s best for you yet all they do feels so wrong. I know the feeling of repulsion that grows inside you when they show you pity and act like there s someting fundamentally wrong with you while imagining they love you. It s gross! I m glad that I didn t have to go through what you went and I learned to be brave and defend myself, and show that I won t allow to be treated badly. You are a powerfull woman, Kristi! Thank you for sharing your story!

[@ChristopherAune]

Wow! Well spoken. Well presented! I hope a lot of people will share this, especially with Christian pastors.

[@albertoalves1063]

Thank you for sharing your experience, Kristi and I also would like to thank you for having this channel, because when I took the decision to leave Catholicism you was the first video that I saw and as someone that literally just leave his religion at first I watched you doubting myself if this was right, but after watching every video on your channel I changed a started to get better, it has been a little over a year since I stop believing in religion and you helped me a lot and still helps, because I just started to heal from a 28 years of Catholicism'm life, living in a country where the 64% of people are Catholic and over 30% are evangelical and I just started the healing process, but will need some time, but I'm already far better than I was a year ago, because now I'm starting to get the feeling of freedom.

[@tracyavent-costanza346]

give yourself time. the path is neither straight nor smooth. and doubting yourself is not WEAKNESS, it is internal honesty.

[@jezebelvibes]

I'm so happy you've found your way out. The journey is tough but worth it!

[@Zahi36501]

What I don't like are the people who try and force others to be in their religion 😭 Religion should be a personal choice and it's upto the individual if they accept or not Well done on raising awareness and for being strong and leaving, a lot of people stay because bought up in the religion and never question it 😔 Hope you stay safe and happy ❤

[@lemsip207]

I knew someone in the Jesus Army who was on two charity user panels, which he used as his mission fields. The problem was that nobody stood up to him. I made complaints about him to paid staff which were brushed off. He attended spiritual and alternative health workshops so he could object to them instead of avoiding them. The panel manager tried to tactfully reason with him. That didn't work. So one panel user eventually said "Shut up, you silly man."

[@Zahi36501]

@@lemsip207 That's a great example! Religion relies on ignorance and not asking questions just have faith The moment you start asking questions it falls apart, that's why they get all testy and mind when ask things or what to clarify things further as they know it will fall apart, so to keep their numbers going and keep people in religion they start telling you to not question or get aggressive and campaign against you like they do with poor Kristie here :(( Also I like your username as when I get poorly I have Lemsip 😬

[@PolymorphicPenguin]

I totally agree that religion should be a personal choice. In the Bible, Jesus never forced anyone to follow him. Instead Jesus spent more time talking about who shouldn't follow him: anyone who loves their relatives more than Jesus and anyone who wasn't willing to die for Jesus.

[@mavrosyvannah]

Religion should not be a choice. Marxism should not be a choice. Fake news should not be a choice. Gender confusion should not be a choice. Being a brain rapist should not be a choice. The wisdom in the few needs to be dominant force to protect the children.

[@mavrosyvannah]

​@@PolymorphicPenguinyou accept a sick philosophy based on a fictional character invented to enslave the minds of nations captured by Rome.

[@sava-smth]

Even just listening makes me cold sweat, can't imagine how it was to live through this 😖 good on you for leaving

[@janetfox-petersen2790]

Just discovered her today. Such an important message and story to tell. Thank you!

[@Cocreatewithus]

I have always liked how your videos have never been judgemental, but encouraging, supportive, understanding, etc.

[@CookieTimeOhhBusted]

Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for everything you do on this channel. I am going through some rough shit, and your videos help me alot. You are changing the world. People like you change the world. For the better.

[@FishyBubbles55]

Coming from a Christian family, my 7yr old is terrified of going to Hell. I told him God would never send him somewhere horrible like that. I struggle with how to discuss with my children because I haven't "come out" of the proverbial religious closet. Your stories and videos have really helped me have confidence in not LYING when my family asks me about what I believe to keep the peace.

[@lisaserenechaos6833]

You need to look out and protect your own peace, and your child's peace.

[@zacharytillman4055]

You are right…. This happens everyday. I used to Pastor a Church, and upon even just rumors of my doubts, the Leadership in my organization attempted to get my wife to leave me, and to an extent, they were successful for a while, until… I asked my wife (then separated) some questions, like, “do you love me for this Religion? Or.. do you Love me?…” Thankfully, we were able to work out our relationship etc… but it still doesn’t change the Lasting impact the So Called Church, caused to my family… So much better without the weights and Burdens of Religion. I’m happy to see you living out your Life in a way that is Truly helping so many, including myself. Thank you for you channel.

[@yourgodismean4526]

This is my first Kristi video. I discovered you on Mindshift’s podcast. What a story. I’m so sorry for what you’ve been through. I was raised in Transcendental Meditation from the time I was 10 and stayed in the movement/cult for a long time. I was paralyzed by a missed infection at one point. Hindus believe in karma. A lot of the ppl in the movement stopped talking to me after I was hurt bc they figured if something that terrible happened to me, I must have horrible karma(be a horrible person). Fundamentalism hurts in any religion

[@katherineg9396]

Your last line is so true!

[@jezebelvibes]

You're absolutely right - fundamentalism hurts no matter the religion. Hope you've found a beautiful, peaceful life apart from that!

[@yourgodismean4526]

@@jezebelvibes I’ve done the best I can I guess. Love your username!

[@Sean-oy8xm]

We love you Kristi. I am also working through the trauma of almost forty years as a Christian, most of which was in ministry. Thank you for your content, and for the grace you carry. It is obvious that you are authentic and full of compassion .

[@Motherplantmusic]

Thank you for using your unique voice, intellect and compassion to fight this good fight.

[@Sarah-1a2j3l]

Thank you so much for putting yourself out there. I’m 47. I got away in about 2018. I can finally love myself and love others unconditionally and it feels so good. You have put into words so many things I have felt for so long. I appreciate you.

[@TimMartin-yc9ck]

Thank you, Ms Burke, for sharing your story. You are a smart, strong and brave young woman, and an inspiration to many. (In those ways you remind me of my own daughter.) My own path out of Christian Fundamentalism started fifty years ago. It had less trauma, but maybe not less pain, probably as many lost friends, maybe as much family alienation. There's no easy path out of harmful religion. I wish you all the best, in your work and your life.

[@philyra2]

Your background sounds very much like mine. I was raised Southern Baptist. Church was literally the first place I went after coming home from the hospital as a newborn. My parents dedicated me to God as an infant. We were in church every time the doors were open. My dad was/is a Southern Baptist pastor, so things were not easier at home. My sister and I were barred from television, movies, music, etc. that was secular. We were expected to always dress modestly. We were not allowed to dance or do many of the things our peers were able to. Like you, I was "saved" at 5, though I "rededicated" my life to God numerous times. I planned on becoming a missionary. I was the good girl who won all the Bible drills, and knew all the scriptures, and sang all the songs. As an adult, I worked in church ministry. That world was my life. Until it wasn't. I can't even pinpoint when or how it happened, but somewhere along the way, it all started unraveling. I don't think I even initiated that, it just seemed to happen organically. For a couple of years I was a minister with serious doubts and questions. I ended up being devastated by a betrayal by the pastor of the church where I worked, but I still tried desperately to hold on to the beliefs I had known all my life. Still, over time, through a lot of research and soul-searching, those beliefs unraveled and fell away. It was a long process and I'm not nearly finished yet. I haven't been to church in years. My dad knows this and has expressed concern, but I have not fully "come out" to him yet. I have a feeling he will not take it well. All that to say this, thank you for sharing. Your videos have been so helpful to me on my own journey. I'm sorry you went through such a traumatic event, but I'm glad to see how you're using that event to help others. You are a light. Keep up the amazing work!

[@tracyavent-costanza346]

it is those now apostate who know the entire litany, which terrify those still "inside" the most. I gather some have tried to re-convert Kristi too. Not out of generosity but rather because they are petrified that anyone can be OUT "OUT" and living a vastly better life.

[@stevetaylor6208]

Thanks for your courage to share your story Kristi. You are such an articulate speaker. I'm a 53 year old man who is past the point of no return to religion but your story will always be in my memory to encourage me to persevere even through other challenges that will arise.

[@carolinecsz]

I had bumped into your channel because I am doing the research of religious trauma. I am also an ex-christian, it took me a lot of effort to get out of the stance of guilt and fear. What if when judgement day had come, I will be sent to some fire or hell? After 20 years I finally live my own life without any fear for being judged by God. I admire your courage to elaborate everything just to send out the message. Big hug and good job. Will keep following your update. We are here with you.

[@goblingunk_]

This hits hard Kristi. I think it may be one of your most impactful videos yet. I'm glad you talked about your trauma and journey. I'm sorry you went through what you have but you're a big inspiration to me because you are such a strong voice now. I also appreciate your reinforcement of empathy. I'm not at that place with my trauma, but I want to be there eventually and I need to hear that. Thank you for all you do.

[@DonnaHicks-x4k]

I was born and raised Catholic in South Philly in the 70s. In Catholic school kindergarten, we had a children's Bible we were free to view. Almost every day I looked through it and turned to the page where Abraham was holding the knife over Issac. My mother was a religious crazy and I lived in fear that God would ask her to do the same but in my case, would allow her to follow through. I asked too many questions but learned to shut up. At 18, I admitted I was an atheist. My mother said I was one with Satan and I was thrown out of the house. Thank you so much for your channel Kristi. I never really had to deconstruct but it's refreshing knowing there are other thinkers out there.

[@sundayoliver3147]

Growing up Protestant, I had a book of bible stories that also featured a picture of Abraham ready to kill his son. I remember asking my mother how that was a good thing-- I guess that was my first lesson in apologetics, it was supposed to be wonderful that god came and stopped the sacrifice. It wasn't until decades later that I realized how cruel a god had to be to create this scenario. And it wasn't until I started looking at deconversion sites that I realized how many people had been terrified by their parents' answer to the story of Abraham and his willingness to kill his son because god said to; that they'd be willing to do the same. I'm so sorry you had to go through what you did.

[@tracyavent-costanza346]

something resembling that, apparently happened between my mom and her mom. Maybe it is time I dragged that story out of her, since it is legitimate family history.

[@cherryjuice9946]

You were right to fear your mom would go Abraham on you. Several times a year, I read another story about a parent who killed their kid (almost always with the help of their cult) by doing some kid of exorcism on them. Most recently, some poor girl got smothered to death because they bound her up tight in some kind of blankets or sleeping bag and trapped her in with pressure. They were driving the demons out. Other times, I read about how a parent killed their kid simply by denying medical treatment and praying over them instead. You were right to keep an alert eye on her. Her actions when you turned 18 shows how deeply she's into her delusion.

[@DonnaHicks-x4k]

@cherryjuice9946 That's terrible 😕 I was fortunate that I had a good dad. But he allowed my mother to throw me out. He said it was best for all. Took years for me to get on my feet. But I did and I'm alive. I'm grateful to have found a community of people who feel as I do. I have Christian friends and have been fortunate that we agree to disagree. But there's so much religious harm out there.

[@joannecunliffe8067]

Oh dear - I'm so sorry, Donna, and hope you're OK now. I guess I should be grateful I grew up in the UK rather than US (although there are appalling things about UK life too). My family was not religious but they didn't help me at all as a child/teen. I'm gender dysphoric aka "transgender" and knew I "was a girl" as an infant - that was in the 70's! I had nobody to turn to. Goodness knows what US Baptist parents would have done with a transgender child (look up "Kai Shappley" for how it should be done) - it is very rare - about 1:2500. How LGBT+ people are treated by the Christian church is utterly appalling. Trying to raise money to help trans-kids since nobody helped me.

[@DarqueSyde66]

Thank you so much for sharing, Kristi. I hope that one day you will wake up from a restful night’s sleep and realize that it’s been years since the last time you were awakened by horrible dreams. You are amazing.

[@Queenread82]

Beautiful

[@jezebelvibes]

Thank you so much

[@jericosha2842]

As someone that recently deconverted(?), I am relieved I have someone I can relate to. I'm sorry you went through it, but you are clearly a beautiful person in spite of it. I still kinda believe in the Christian God, but only through the hopeful and philosophical sense and confidence in universalism. I felt like I was experiencing your every emotion in your story. I have moments in my life that match, but you had it all back to back. Thanks for sharing, it takes a lot of courage to do this.

[@valerielhw]

The famous _'Pascal's wager'_ falsely claims that believing in Christianity doesn’t cause harm. Your video is proof that those who falsely believe that they need to save others from eternal torment are capable of causing A LOT of harm!

[@tobias4411]

Yes, religion poisons everything. As Hitchens would say back in the days.

[@kassie-annonandia67]

Everybody has a different path speak for yourself

[@tobias4411]

​@@kassie-annonandia67 Please try to understand this. Throughout history, people have used Bible verses to justify gruesome actions against others. There was a horrific period spanning 300 years when women were burned alive, justified by the verse, "Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live" (Exodus 22:18). Similarly, slave owners and pro-slavery advocates justified the African slave trade with the Bible: "Slaves, obey your earthly masters with respect and fear, and with sincerity of heart, just as you would obey Christ" (Ephesians 6:5). The Rwandan genocide in 1994 and the murder of Native Americans were both justified by biblical texts, such as: "Attack the Amalekites and totally destroy all that belongs to them" (1 Samuel 15:2-3). Capital punishment, including the stoning of individuals, has been justified by verses like: "And he that blasphemeth the name of the LORD, he shall surely be put to death, and all the congregation shall certainly stone him" (Leviticus 24:16). Extreme violence against perceived enemies has been rationalized by: "Blessed shall he be who takes your little ones and dashes them against the rock" (Psalm 137:9). Today, hate and violence against LGBTQ+ individuals are often justified by: "If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them" (Leviticus 20:13). It's no wonder that many people at gay pride parades become upset and angry when street preachers infiltrate their space, spewing condemning words of punishment. Christopher Hitchens understood the impact of religious texts on people's minds when he stated, "Religion poisons everything." There are no excuses anymore. It's time for our species to progress.

[@Mary-cw4lf]

​@@kassie-annonandia67they did speak for themselves. Religious control is abuse. Source: my own childhood

[@paulgemme6056]

@@tobias4411 It's God's Word (the living Word - Jesus Christ) that cause one to have faith. Read the word (bible) with the right motive (to know the truth - Jesus Christ) and your soul will be saved. Read Romans chapter three. The only reason I share the good news (gospel) is because I read the Word (bible) and learn that all have sinned and need God's/Jesus Christ's Grace and Mercy. We are not sinners because we sin, we sin because we are sinners. If a man says he has never sinned he is a liar, and the truth (Jesus Christ - Holy Spirit) is not in him. Look around - evil/sin runs rampant. We are in the last days. Pray and ask God/Jesus Christ/Holy Spirit) to reveal truth (himself) to you. No religion needed. Just faith, faith plus nothing. It is written.

[@alibarron7558]

The narcissistic pogroms of many religious groups and families would be judged as ongoing criminal enterprises, if not under the umbrella of religion. With my radical believers in family, I gradually realized that their own fears and doubts about their vengeful God and what he would do to them, caused a lot of the terrors we children had to live through.

[@OrichalcumHammer]

why the capital G for their vengeful god? Are you still afraid?

[@GarrettRHall]

Kristi, after all this time following you, I’m glad you finally told us part of the root if not all of the root of your worst religious traumatic experience. I am right there with you, and I am producing a 10 video series on religious trauma where I will certainly link back to your channel and Brandon at MindShift and many others who are revealing their truth in this space. I’m so glad that you are telling the truth in this space. Keep it up.