My *Very Good* Famous Tumblr Posts Tier List

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Outro Song: "Driving in The Rain" by Timecrawler 82
timecrawler82....
/ @timecrawler82

[@mayamaliceart]

My favorite iconic Tumblr post is the "She was poetry, but he couldn't read" post

[@ilexdiapason]

his name was jared hes nineteen when his parents built a very strange machine

[@paytonbeale4283]

Heyyyy, Macarena!

[@beaudonders1546]

Horrable job everyone

[@scoutl4t875]

So he's dialectic

[@McFuffy]

Just say men are illiterate lol

[@elliewellie_YouTube]

It was in this year that I realized Jory is a man with three girlfriends and not a lesbian in a poly relationship

[@sparrowwestlake7267]

i want to live in your universe

[@camiblack1]

A man with three weed smoking girlfriends who smork weed bunts.

[@jellycoolreader9796]

oh

[@literallyjanelane]

only a man would talk abt them like trophies

[@camiblack1]

@@literallyjanelane or, given it's nature, somebody doing an obvious joke.

[@aidanboyle7374]

"Please, I'll do anything" "Anything?" "Yes, anything" "then perish" Goes so fucking hard and I can't believe it originated from an UwU roleplay shitpost

[@shytendeakatamanoir9740]

You have a point. It should be "then pewish"

[@thewingedporpoise]

@@shytendeakatamanoir9740 no, because Obama doesn't uwu speak in it

[@Bee..]

@@australiathecountrycontine2377 You’re thinking of Polygon’s series “Overboard.” Brennan definitely did reference it, but it originated here in tumblr hell! Or at least was popularized by the post haha

[@thewingedporpoise]

@@australiathecountrycontine2377 they were referencing this text post

[@australiathecountrycontine2377]

@@Bee.. I know the series. Oh

[@mads.arnautov]

markiplier finally heard about the LA gangs, apparently he made a Twitter poll when he was in the hospital asking people to guess why and one of the options was 'LA gangs finally got me' lol

[@genericname2747]

RIP Markiplier. He died by LA gang

[@Nono-Bunny]

Thank you for informing me of this, I checked it out and proceeded to laugh for like two minutes straight until my cat knocked something over and scared me enough to make me stop laughing

[@catgirlQueer]

notably the other three options were - boob reduction surgery - boob unreduction surgery - intestines went kaboom

[@GOTHPUNKLESBIAN]

i guarantee he's known about the LA gangs for a while bc he has a tumblr account and has (semi) actively used it for years

[@user-burner]

​@@genericname2747this implies markiplier onlyfans is necrophilia content

[@moonbearx]

The performance of three weed smoking girlfriends is better than any film ever made

[@CharleyMarlowe]

Thank you so much!

[@PYC334]

@@CharleyMarlowe i love you kept losing your shit performing those posts. just the cherry on top

[@ratstanduser]

I know right! truly an Oscar worthy performance.

[@Shadowlegendlover]

@@CharleyMarlowe playing!? pLAAAAYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENG!!!!?

[@rossdafodil7931]

so true!

[@Nicole-bx3ov]

"old tumblr gets a bad rap but it was really very wholesome" "next up is the severed toe post"

[@maxs-lz4pn]

I hate that one. It's possibly the absolute worst one from that era

[@ride_ai1615]

I may be wrong but I’m pretty sure the severed toe post was from the Middle Tumblr era? Not quite old enough to be Old Tumblr

[@gentlesandladymen]

Tbh, it’s actually kinda wholesome

[@argenteus8314]

I mean, it was all consensual, so nothing really non-wholesome about it.

[@CommanderWiggins]

I mean there's nothing really terrible about that one. It sounds really fucking wild without context, but when you learn the backstory it isn't all that crazy. Someone had to have her toe amputated due to a medical problem and she kept it because she wants to be buried with it when she dies. A while later the preservative has expired so she found someone who had the skills to put the toe into a different vessel with fresh preservative solution. Far more wholesome than the graverobbing Tumblr drama.

[@ifrichardnixonwasgoodatfoo1470]

Finally hearing the “weed smoking girlfriends” post being read out loud makes me feel like I’m hearing an audible of an Onision book

[@gentlesandladymen]

Why is this the perfect description-

[@srorrim]

i know im screaaming

[@ashleyanne929]

That's LITERALLY what I was thinking

[@magdalena_dewinter]

it’s confirmation i didn’t conjure it up in my head during my 17 year old drinking at breakfast because the family went on vacation without me phase and it’s the confirmation i need

[@haven6779]

smorking *

[@oopsallbugs]

"buy my silence, permanently. for $8,000 a month, I will stop" is one of my top favorite posts of all time

[@purplestarfish90]

The best thing is communismkills still maintains a blog off-Tumblr and she apparently was at the January 6th insurrection

[@maddyocean5948]

@@purplestarfish90holy shit. not shocking but damn

[@maddyocean5948]

@@purplestarfish90communism kills apparently but insurrections don’t?? wild

[@SpecialInterestShow]

Oh yes I quite that to this day

[@UnorthodoxSoundwave.]

The way the Weed Smoking Girlfriends post is LITERALLY a whole SEVENTH of the video is really frightning

[@irradiated_woman8016]

Jordie might come for us if we dont give it the respect it is due.

[@professionalcatgirl8592]

as it should be

[@shigekax]

I don't like that post Too cursed for me

[@RTdances]

okay but also wasn't there a whole update where he was living in a storage unit and reconnected with them and had a CHILD?? imagine how much longer it could have been

[@sqwibler1092]

@@RTdances WHERE IS THIS UPDATE

[@kaylinpaiges]

"mr sandman, man me a sand! make him the cutest man car door hook hand" lives in my brain rent free

[@lavender8703]

petition for a part two where that shows up

[@justlola417]

Right?? The phrase "man car door hook hand" sometimes just shows up in my head like a jingle from a commercial

[@colewykes4542]

The video of someone singing is on my daily playlist it's perfect

[@ametsuyo5114]

annnnd now thats stuck in my head, i JUST forgot it

[@thatoneguy9582]

it’s a classic man door hand hook car door story

[@tangledheadphonecord4285]

if i ever join a dnd campaign and the dm doesn't tell stories like Jory and his three weed smoking girlfriends (who kiss him and hold his hands) ill never go back

[@theworstpear6080]

this is exactly what i thought of lol

[@ryeallison7544]

My DM actually does this. I'm not convinced he isn't Jory.

[@cheesebatto]

don't forget, they also smoke weed.

[@inseparalien]

I was thinking his post reminded me of the way that griffin McElroy does his monologues

[@emmarussell266]

Hey uhhhh- Virgil????

[@purplestarfish90]

The Jefferson miku binder is my favorite for a lot of reasons but I love how obvious it is that it was written by a very sheltered suburban teenager, from the combination of "traumatic drug-addicted past" and "the hippest hangouts are Barnes and Noble and Starbucks"

[@PrincessYaura]

That’s 95% of all Hamilton fans

[@maddieb.4282]

This particular take really made me cackle

[@kamsudon3386]

my sister and her friend had it as a matching background because it was their favorite meme of all time

[@leonineKelter]

As someone who was a Hamilton fan at like 12 years old, this is very true. I was o wattpad and honestly when those images came out i was so used to Hamilton stuff I didn't blink they looked like a normal modern au. Looking back it's batshit and if Hamilton hadn't sparked my love for musicals and history i would probably hate it viscerally these days, even though it's actually a really good piece of musical theatre.

[@catboymiles7224]

i am sad to report that the person who drew it is in fact still a very sheltered suburban adult simply because apparently when ol’ ding dong the witch is dead lizzy died they made a post about how she would reincarnate as a horse that was 100% serious

[@altairdelirio]

Honorable mention to the “my gfs husband is in the army”

[@MsBossLadyLola]

Bro that is one of my favorite posts ever

[@Lucifersfursona]

We love a complex triad

[@LeebMilder]

"Harold they're lesbians" also deserves an honorable mention for sure

[@elephantshell3617]

There needs to be a pride edition of top tier tumblr posts cuz there were some gems.

[@Matthy63]

I still will IRL say "people are gay, steven" on the regular

[@h.g.warrender5529]

Where is the "You cannot kill me in a way that matters" mushroom post

[@tiredorchid5629]

Decay exists as an extant form of life

[@k80_]

That’s like actually my favorite

[@charlottetigchelaar8993]

i love that post, strange needs to make a video about the best tumblr quotes

[@The_Great_Penguini]

Omg or the obscur Obama quote posts like not actual quotes but ones from people’s dreams or weird fanfiction but they are like such powerful quotes and it’s so weird

[@skelie9214]

totally my fav, it's my bio in a ton of places

[@Saltier]

"Bitch that's the tubby custard machine." Will, to me, remain one of the greatest quotes to come from not just the hellsite of Tumblr but the internet as a whole.

[@haleycopans296]

Little has made me cackle more then bitch that’s the tubby custard machine

[@haleycopans296]

Little has made me cackle more then bitch that’s the tubby custard machine

[@haleycopans296]

Little has made me cackle more then bitch that’s the tubby custard machine

[@ciitadel2518]

honorable mentions - moreos - randy your sticks - the bone stealing witch - none pizza left beef - my cousin throckmorton - any variation of the "shoving breadsticks into my purse" meme

[@halleys.comett]

omg none pizza left beef reminded me of callmecarson 😢

[@arcadianico]

what about cousin oskar from iceland?

[@ellapowell3437]

I think about randy your sticks approximately ten times a day

[@HungerGamesFan00]

none pizza left beef is just general internet culture by now

[@k80_]

They’re lesbians Carl

[@haveagoodmourning]

Weed Smoking Girlfriends guy isn't even playing by the rules of roleplaying, you're not supposed to dictate what someone else's character does smh /hj

[@kae41]

kujhygtrfed

[@nicovamp]

He’s not like other role players

[@maggotsaysbork3846]

Exactly

[@GalvanizedArt]

That's because he's not role-playing that stuff really happened

[@evie5375]

what does hj mean

[@holicandy01]

When people do the "do you love the color of the sky?" and you swipe hard to get as fast as possible, but it was a prank and was cut way shorter and you have to scroll back up

[@erikw.s.5209]

or when it goes to black they do the "Hey you. You're finally awake."

[@thetastiestjam]

I know it's not technically a heritage post yet but the color theory children's hospital post has a special place in my heart

[@spidersstan]

Every time it comes up, I am once again amused and appalled in equal parts

[@birdbrainiac]

how could that not be mentioned ?!

[@rebeccanater]

The barbie ruggable gave me flashbacks

[@CrabbChips]

that and the gendered colours homestuck post

[@aidenssadagain]

its never not good

[@babblgamgummi6029]

I fucking love miku binder Jefferson. The thought that if actual, historical Thomas Jefferson could see it he would find it totally incomprehensible but still be incredibly offended fills me with joy.

[@Speederzzz]

Your ancestors would find you incomprehensible And you're descendants will despise your grave

[@gingersnap189]

@@Speederzzz jokes on you, dicktits! I’m not gonna have descendants!

[@Nakia11798]

@@gingersnap189 pretty sure that's a quote

[@polynuclear2970]

@@Speederzzz yo'rue*

[@nadia9526]

@@polynuclear2970 and your descendants will dispose you are grave?

[@dmoney8017]

One of my favorite posts is the "I have died every day waiting for you" with the stupid duck drawing

[@nataliebondurant6217]

Bahahahah I forgot about that one! And the Halsey Colours bridge with SpongeBob screencaps?

[@Very-Uncorrect]

I love that one lol

[@akihayakawaliker]

MY FAVORITE

[@MewLime]

Thank you for reminding me of that classic.

[@happyfrigginrainbowcookies]

I laugh my ass off every time I see that one. The drawing just fits, it just looks right. I can no longer see a girl.

[@coffin_qt]

Oppa Homeless Style has such an interesting backstory being a fake story within a fake story. The OG post never existed. It was a fake screenshot to make SJWs look ridiculous and bad. Sarah Z has a whole video dissection on it.

[@RainWelsh]

Is that the video where it turns out it’s Toby all the way down?

[@ShrubLawn]

@@rowanmas7384 wait but what if it was toby... what if we're all toby?

[@Thegrandpineapple]

I was looking for the comment about this

[@stormevans9927]

what is the video called i can’t find it

[@stormevans9927]

nvm found it

[@eightmillionmaddies]

My favorite part of Charley’s performance of the weed smoking girlfriends is their complete voice change when they interject (tattoo), gets me every time

[@CharleyMarlowe]

Haha thanks!

[@syd6964]

i cant get over how the weed smoking girlfriend's post is written like a bad creepypasta

[@sarahgooey]

and yes.....they smoke weed

[@syd6964]

@@sarahgooey do they smoke weed?

[@ampersandcastle1091]

None pizza left beef, Randy your sticks and man door hand hook car door are tragically absent

[@ToxxicAsphyxiation]

then who phone, and the moreos kid ... but i hold a special place in my heart for "RANDY YOUR STICKS!!!!!"

[@melsenwesky9315]

man car door hook hand my beloved

[@maddalena8448]

RANDY YOUR STICKS

[@egg9206]

nah, man door hand hook car door was a 4chan post initially, and so was who was phone. but fuck it’s a crime that moreos wasn’t on here

[@crowsoto9612]

none pizza with left beef oh my god,, a few months ago I saw someone order that as a homage and it's a tragedy I've never been able to order one myself

[@juleslee1436]

Not quite as iconic as these posts but I think RANDY YOUR STICKS deserves an honorable mention

[@itsstrange1213]

I wonder if Randy ever flipped his sticks

[@juleslee1436]

@@itsstrange1213 the world will never know 😔

[@angelharding2423]

did you know that randy (slimetony) is the dude who made that song Resonance? The really vaporwave song

[@catattack7639]

@@angelharding2423 never heard of it lmao

[@kamilee4123]

One of my faves ever ngl

[@magnafoxodyssey2127]

I can't believe "You cannot kill me in a way that matters [Decay is an extant form of life!]" and "Potterheads, grab your wands" missed the list

[@apertureatomics]

the CHOKEHOLD "you cannot kill me in a way that matters" has on me to this day man...

[@rebeccanater]

There are like 6 quotes abt mushrooms and the goats that are carved into my eyelids

[@gabrielleporter553]

The “ then perish “ mr obama post never fails to fucking destroy me. i literally quoted it so much in middle school and i still call my friends mr obama in an anime girl voice to annoy my friends. bless whoever made that post for ruining my life

[@Speederzzz]

Same vibe as "then beg"

[@justastraylesbian5817]

oh my god. "Hewwo Mr Obama" is literally the only way me and my friend greet each other when getting into VC. You're not alone.

[@dinanikolaidis2256]

"bless this post for ruining my life" yeah, that sounds right

[@MargaritaApologist]

Same here.

[@mikaell.3627]

Uh do I know you

[@CharleyMarlowe]

I brought myself to tears reading freaking Weed Smoking Girlfriends for this video

[@itsSimonBeck]

(tattoo)

[@AlexR05e]

I can hear them

[@plainbagel4411]

Did you get and then lose three week-smoking girlfriends before the voice over? Those tears sounded so real I refuse to believe it wasn’t method acting

[@InkSans_FandomSoda]

You poor poor entity.

[@daniellel230]

But you did so great though, it was quality content

[@daniellecalderwood4626]

Low key kinda sad that the communismkills “buy my silence, for $8000 a month I will stop” meme didn’t make it. I think about that one at least once a week.

[@genneth4986]

Aw, :( I wish "Human Pet Guy" Cybersmith made it too

[@Kiss_My_Aspergers]

Nobody ever did take her up on that offer. She's still around places other than just Tumblr. But I almost never see her so nowadays her randomly popping up in one of my feeds is like "oh, hey! THAT weirdo! I forgot about her."

[@postpuppy]

The Tumblr staff post where they announced that they would no longer allow for editing prior posts in a thread that got hit with "booty butt cheeks" before they actually implemented the change was honestly one of my all time favorites. so good.

[@tortis6342]

that's so stupid and perfect.

[@KittyCat-wf6yg]

Boss makes a dollar I make a dime, that's why I watch Strange Æons during office time

[@ItsAllNunya]

Praxis

[@cursedteacup1431]

based

[@romancarlise4738]

workers of the world unite, we rally around strange aeons

[@mia-lc2om]

boss, more like boss baby 😎😎🤚

[@Creature7777]

Apollo personified

[@hhometownnn]

this is “dragonkin eating their mom’s engagement ring” erasure

[@ndek1669]

Omg that was so iconic

[@galeg4021]

I REMEMBER THIS ONE

[@zoeascheri7294]

I was thinking about that one! The one about the person who was attracted to mosquito bites should be here too

[@eddieravenwood]

Going through these comments is like going through a haunted house, but instead of actors in spooky masks, you're just getting repeatedly punched from all directions

[@sydperkins4083]

A classic

[@dmitryboardman9762]

Didn't Sarah Z uncover that Oppa Homeless Style was a doctored post that never existed on Tumblr done by an anti-SJW as a false flag?

[@ghalfsharp0]

I think it was Heritage Posts that uncovered that, I could be wrong though...

[@starcrysis23]

@@ghalfsharp0 nah it was Sarah z it was a super long video

[@k80_]

Heritage posts did most of the research on that post in particular, sarah z did a deep dive into fake story culture and the user that made most of the fake stories for reddit including oppa homeless style

[@natstewgirl]

@@ghalfsharp0 you're right, she put their conclusions and the conclusions of a few other investigators into a singular video essay

[@hugofontes5708]

so it never existed but people talked about it via fake screenshots or something? anyway, gonna check sarah Z, thx

[@tFRAGCAT]

"It's called a bunt" is the most beautiful sentence I have heard in the English language. It gets me every time I revisit Jori's three weed smoking girlfriends

[@Akusteisha]

Imagine a reality, where no one asked "are they smocking weed?"

[@jjmabc273]

Now why would I want to do that 🦦

[@naluzoniro]

*Marvel's What If intro starts playing*

[@thequeenofcringe1585]

Tragic

[@frauleinzuckerguss1906]

We would've World peace because then no one would've angered Jory enough to cause every bad thing ever

[@caitiemoriarty]

At the beginning of the vid I was like “how essential really is a voice actor?” but now I’m deep into the weed smorking girlfriends epic and I Understand Now

[@placeholder_username9528]

Absolutely.

[@nocturnalnewsie]

Seeing the color of the sky without Misha or spike traps is an interesting experience

[@my_granny]

I was braced for "Hey, you! You're finally awake. Walked right into that imperial ambush..."

[@pjarnold5086]

i was so ready for a weezer album to pop up i was preparing so hard

[@bobbieproductions4491]

TRUE, I DON'T THINK I'VE EVER SEEN THE ORIGINAL

[@olivia6252]

I got hit with the Percy Jackson version

[@yellobb3848]

First time I saw it it had “no one expects the Spanish Inquisition” at the end lol

[@EggBabyOfficial]

I'm surprised I haven't seen anyone mention: The "when your parents think you're reading when you're really on your phone" post And the anime glasses post Also watching this is like watching my life flash before my eyes

[@EggBabyOfficial]

ALSO THE ANNOYINGLY LONG PHOENIX WRIGHT LIBRARY BOOK POST

[@Selinaru]

@@EggBabyOfficial tHE WHAT

[@EggBabyOfficial]

@@Selinaru Man people don't remember these?? Back when I first joined they were inescapable. People liked putting annoyingly long posts on everyone's dash, so they'd get reblogged ALL the time just like the color of the sky post

[@LateNightTableCo]

I forgot about the anime glasses post!

[@heneedsloveoooh]

"gay af to have glasses. what are you looking at? other men?" is one of my favorite posts and of course none pizza with left beef. and all of mutantapologist's Hannibal content though only none pizza is iconic

[@k80_]

“kinda gay to get in a gunfight tbh. what are you doing blasting hot loads into other men” is another favorite of mine although it is considerably grosser

[@katrina9877]

Omg you have reminded me of the post "i thought gay people would call each other hotcock"

[@gentlesandladymen]

@@katrina9877 that one is so iconic

[@strawbebbiejam]

i remember seeing none pizza left beef for the first time every and laughing about it for like a week straight

[@theonionqueen3519]

None pizza with left beef makes me irrationally angry.

[@PumpkinHausProd]

Every time I hear her say "Oppa homeless style" I think she's saying "Oklahoma style" and I tense up in confusion

[@jackson5802]

I was in grade school when the song was popular and hearing the tune again basically threw me into a different dimension

[@claireoconnor307]

Slightly upset that none pizza left beef and “no but seriously, imagine it, you’re at a fall out boy concert etc.” we’re not included

[@hj6507]

None pizza left beef ❤

[@grassbreads]

None pizza with left beef my beloved

[@claireoconnor307]

@@BastardSugah oh my godddd I forgot about that one-

[@peace_n_love]

No but seriously imagine it: You’re seeing fall out boy on a concert. Everyone is having a great time. Fall out boy seem a little excited. “We have a surprise for you guys.” Partick says. All of a sudden P!ATD come out and start singing “this is gospel.” When Brendon gets to the chorus, someone else starts singing… “When I was a young boy my father took me into the city to see a marching band.” Lights flash everywhere, and you see FOB singing “this is gospel” along with P!ATD, while MCR is singing “Black parade”. Everyone in the crowd is going wild and crying. Then if things couldn’t get any better, Dan and Phil walk onto stage and kiss, holding the gay flag.

[@gender_nihilism]

none pizza with left beef isn't originally a tumblr post, it's just that it circulated throughout tumblr early on. it's from someone's personal blog (as in, their own website) in 2007. look it up, it comes from the twisted gen x mind of a big bang theory writer/producer named Steven Molaro

[@PaleNoFace]

Okay but Gaud's "clown husbandry" saga was terrifying and hilarious. I dunno if it's considered classic tumblr yet but hey. Good times. Also the mushroom death post.

[@RobinHouseChannel]

Just hearing the phrase "Markiplier and the LA gangs" anymore makes me laugh so hard

[@rinisafool]

sounds like an alternate universe boy band

[@sleightsofheart.]

MARKYMOO

[@grakkoi6885]

SKSHENWIS I FKICING KNOW i’ve been cry-laughing from that stupid fucking post like 10 minutes

[@jm4954]

“Markimoo” SENDS ME

[@awildbagel6723]

This is missing: RANDY YOUR STICKS, none pizza left beef, man door hand hook car door, it fuckin wimdy, and of course "the gif isn't loading but it's supernatural isn't it"

[@chrissamblanet9696]

THESE!!!

[@cosmic7336]

IT FUCKEN WIMDY IS A CLASSIC

[@ceramic.ants.]

Mr sandman, man me a sand.

[@mybrainbroke5279]

i referenced man door hand hook car door and no one knew what i was talking about and it made me so sad

[@abbywolffe4114]

I AM EIGHTEEN YEARS OLD I HAVE NOT BEEN ON TUMBLR FOR LIKE FIVE YEARS AND I STILL SAY IT FUCKIN WIMDY

[@elliapenguin]

You getting a hairless cat is possibly the most on brand thing I have ever witnessed

[@malpracticc]

before i was on tumblr, on my first day of high school i complimented someone's cool rainbow shoelaces & they responded w/ the tumblr code & i FROZE like a deer in headlights for 10 seconds bc i was so fucking BAFFLED

[@apertureatomics]

i think i would instantly die on the spot if someone said the tumblr code out loud to me

[@vicacd]

The most quintessential, iconic Classic Tumblr Post in my mind is the one where someone posted screenshots of a Facebook post of some girls being like 'I tried Tumblr and deleted it after 5 minutes because it's dumb lololol' and everyone decided that we were gonna Get Their Ass and there were like 50 additions akin to 'potterheads grab your wands, whovians hop into your TARDISes, Sherlockians hire your consulting criminals' and so forth for literally any fandom you could think of.

[@Pastelsnek]

I remember that happening, and some guy responding with football gifs, and it just keeps getting worse

[@crookedzombie93]

homestuckies, grab ur problematic fave.

[@cactipoke]

i can't believe that didn't make it into this video

[@caithemburrow5569]

Justin Bieter vs tumblr

[@projectvalkyrie4536]

​@@Pastelsnek oh gods I remember that.

[@uhsoraya7238]

honorary mentions from a veteran: * spiders georg * crave that mineral * supernatural gif for everything * changing fudgers to meaners milk post * ....slime man

[@burnpygmalion39]

SPIDERS GEORG

[@reece3059]

dragonkin

[@no-man_baugh]

s...slime man?

[@mmmyeahnosorry]

SPN GIF FOR EVERYTHING THOO

[@annalol6128]

omg spiders georg…. quote that all the time

[@birdemics]

cole sprouse tumblr was his method acting practice for jughead in riverdale

[@Lauren-qc7ju]

Oh God, you're right

[@mcpugh]

when i first heard of that experiment, all that came to mind was his weirdo monologue and i thought only one thing, “so thats why he had that line”

[@cadenceolivia6304]

I just exhaled forcefully

[@lilyawoodburn]

The funny thing about Alexandria's Genesis is it was made up for a fanfic series back in the late 90s/early 00s as a condition for the author's self-insert Mary Sue OC, and someone completely random who'd read the stories peddled that as fact later. The author even found out about it and had to be like "no y'all I literally made it up" to the few ppl who refused to believe it was fake

[@pinkiepielunagirls4541]

wasn't it literally daria fanfic too? that makes the entire thing even wilder

[@raniwrites]

other favourites include: the house arrest ankle bracelet and none pizza with left beef 😭

[@doctortalisman9861]

THE HOUSE ARREST ANKLE BRACELET IS SO GOOD IT'S TIMELESS. also i'm pretty sure the op is still on tumblr and they posted a follow-up pic without the bracelet fhfghjfg

[@hel117]

Every time my family orders pizza I think of the none pizza with left beef

[@raniwrites]

@@doctortalisman9861 YEAH I SAW THAT TOO god tumblr truly is A Website

[@doctortalisman9861]

@@raniwrites definitely one of the websites of all time

[@rachael5300]

Those were really cute boots to be fair. Especially for their time.

[@panqueque445]

I feel like the fact that the person doing the toe necklace thing's username was CUMMY EYELIDS made the whole thing way more interesting.

[@pagansbasin6657]

Strange aeons is my only reminder that tumblr was a real place

[@noomre9105]

was

[@anarchistcatowner]

and sarah z

[@callumg3330]

Tbh I’ve had multiple tumblr history videos on my feed in the last couple hours, pretty high density actually

[@EyeofZai]

me, who’s active on tumblr: 👁👄👁

[@hannahfanning9585]

It's still here and still just as chaotic

[@lucamp1]

this isn't really well known, but I'll never shut up about it because everyone needs to hear it. The most iconic tumblr moments I witnessed was when TJ Lane (a school shooter) escaped prison and send a voice message to a tumblr account telling them to stop calling him a TWINK 😭😭

[@lilaniloxi]

Link it or it didn't happen I *need* to know if this Is real or an elaborate fake tumblr story in form of a KZbin comment

[@becauseimafan]

I also must know if this is real, holy shit

[@cybercrimelord]

NO IT'S REAL I REMEMBER IT

[@cybercrimelord]

HERE IT IS

[@fwrfrrffrrfgdrregr5647]

@@cybercrimelord WHERE

[@pikachuneoncat6480]

Love how the voice actor is in character and yet also sounds an inch away from laughing their ass off.

[@Kiss_My_Aspergers]

(*their)

[@pinacolada5911]

When people talk about tumblr posts they never mention RANDY YOUR STICKS and it breaks my heart, that was my favorite

[@Emma-tf9jg]

YES i think about randy and his sticks constantly

[@chrissamblanet9696]

randy and his sticks deserve better

[@MrFalcon343]

Tumblr's world heritage posts are definitely something to behold when they make their rounds on the dash

[@TheAllAroundMan]

toucan

[@Bakechochin]

my favourite of the tumblr edited posts was the one where someone changed 'vampires' to 'Danny Devito' and it still made sense

[@TheJschulter]

I am slightly disappointed by the lack of "none pizza left beef" Also, the ability to edit quoted posts works just fine on forums, the difference is *tumblr doesn't have moderators*

[@prncrx]

Forums also work since the quoted post is usually right there to check lol, on tumblr you'd need to bother clicking over to the original post which pretty much nobody had a reason to do if they weren't already suspicious.

[@krell.1415]

But Tumblr post edits got us "meaners" and "danny devito"

[@L3mXn]

ONLY HALFWAY THROUGH. NONE PIZZA LEFT BEEF IS MY FAVORITE:(

[@raniwrites]

yeah!! and the house arrest ankle bracelet as well AHAHA

[@mattyangelz]

the creator of young sheldon apparently made it

[@sarahc.8830]

how could you forget the " [insert fandom] grab your [object]" thats a mile long

[@Void_Daddy]

Oh god I remember contributing to that mile hike of a post in my glory days.

[@yourbootyholeisyourbeautyhole]

i try to forget it on purpose

[@Nunu1293]

I’m mad that you reminded me of this cursed memory

[@Nakia11798]

I fucking HATED that. Tumblr fandom culture was always super cringeworthy to me, even when I was into fandom stuff myself.

[@zenithharper9427]

ah yes, the supernatural fandom vs justin beiber fan war where we all decided that an attack on the supernatural fandom was an attack on us all and we were going to defend them against the wicked, wicked beleibers

[@salemsdead7029]

my friends and i, to this day, still say "hewwo?" when we walk into the room & someone else answers, "mistew obama?" & sometimes we get a little out of control & just start reciting the whole thing. we're in our 20s. it's been so many years.

[@Tkm-bi8gk]

Someone needs to study this

[@onettaviator5396]

Kids in my high school did this I think the entire 4 years. We graduated this year.

[@FSEThompson]

honestly after actual instances of grave robbing on tumblr im just glad the severed toe was willingly donated for art

[@shnoozezzz9752]

i havent seen the whole weed smoking girlfriends post and im fucking crying at the voice over omg

[@mentallyunstable1926]

i honestly wish i hadn’t heard the whole thing so that i could experience it like that for the first time. the quality of that v/o has no words strong enough to describe it

[@missserenity1090]

I only saw up until him threatening the other users. I missed that whole last part.

[@vermilionbug]

Yeah, Charley Marlowe is a great voice actor.

[@JaamKidd69]

Ok so, conspiracy time: the poster of the weed-smoking-girlfriends post is *actually* the author of my immortal, and came out of retirement for one last shitpost

[@venom_colada1512]

BANISHED TO THE SHADOW REALM

[@johnr797]

Not goffik enough

[@robinmitchells]

@@johnr797 maybe they traded their goff phase for a weed phase?

[@matthias5435]

I`m not sure about that

[@johnr797]

@@robinmitchells that's certainly possible, dude weed is quite a common phase

[@dakotaalexander9811]

Dude the weed smorking girlfriends monologue mid way thru just devolves into an American Psycho narration I’m losing it djgsjfzhdgd

[@daisyelizabeth5462]

i want a shirt that says “frequent down with cis bus passenger” because im absolutely in love with that story. it’s the funniest shit i’ve ever read and im completely obsessed, every time someone brings it up i start screaming in joy. it just brings me so much unbridled joy, it’s so stupid i love every second of it

[@mollywalker5790]

We need a part 2 that includes: - man car door hook hand - crave that mineral - none pizza with left beef - the skeleton war - cousin throckmorton

[@mickytherat8020]

Randy your sticks!

[@CassandraAlicante]

- you can not kill me in a way that matters - you kneel before my throne unaware that it was born of lies

[@aw7145]

I thought man car door hook hand was 4chan?

[@CassandraAlicante]

It probably is, but I think this person meant that one Tumblr post of "how many memes can we put into one meme" and iirc the man car door hook hand one was in there :)

[@thequeenofcringe1585]

It’s fucking wimdy

[@chickadee1232]

Honourable mentions for “Harold they’re Lesbians” which I think of everyday

[@sapphosscullerymaid4856]

carol is one of my fave movies so it lives in my head rent free

[@LeeSwab]

I bring this up every time but nothing will ever hit me quite like "why would you ask us, a narnia blog, this"

[@hockeygrrlmuse]

I also really like the companion piece where someone asked a jake gyllenhal blog if narnia is gay

[@GiantButterKnife]

I kind of appreciate how much Jory commits to the bit.

[@RileyLastname]

how dare you make a tier called effervescent without adding the effervescent post itself

[@attker89]

This is Moon Moon erasure and I will not stand for it. Also for consideration: "Potterheads, Grab your wands," the Skeleton War, and DashCon.

[@jazzpluss]

my brain just lit up in so many places with that one oh my god moon moon lol also love the skeleton war which also reminds me of "you CANNOT fuck a SKELETON"

[@welpppppppppppppp]

i forget constantly that not everyone knows about moon moon

[@ThousandsOfAnts]

Gods I forgot about moon moon- the memories of looking at tumblr on my greyscale-screened kindle.

[@dahliam77]

@@welpppppppppppppp i referenced moon moon to my mom a few days ago. All my Tumblr knowledge is second hand from pinterest but it is still a special post.

[@doubtful_seer]

This made me so nostalgic. I will love Moon Moon forever. Goddamnit, Moon Moon.

[@kingmespeaks6839]

Æon: "they looked at this post and went-" Ad: "I've made a lot of questionable choices."

[@connorfarnsworth3712]

OH MY GOD IT HAPPENED TO ME TOO

[@m0sspunk]

SAME

[@Creature7777]

SAME

[@Finnoli420]

I got the same ad omg

[@nightlight0x07cc]

My add said, "Do you need friends?" XD

[@AdamOfIngolstadt]

I'm sorry, but the miku binder Thomas Jefferson is legitimately hilarious because it inspired people who draw "cringe-miku-binder-sonas" for random politicians

[@lilaboxx]

Omg I didn't know that 😭 Also I think it's hilarious because the real Thomas Jefferson would have hated it

[@x_oda]

…guys do I draw Matt Walsh miku binder-

[@MelodyLumina]

@@x_odaDO IT

[@x_oda]

@@MelodyLumina UH OH, IT MIGHT HAPPEN.

[@saintnicotine5585]

My favorite was Miku binder Julius Caesar

[@nurdle8673]

Okay, but TheJorie actually did really well at creating the setting and scene of him drunkenly assaulting you because of his three weed smoking girlfriends (that he kisses) at a bar

[@proffesionalweredog7426]

what the FUCK was up with that dude??

[@Just_Julia_]

Don't forget that they also hold hands

[@sanityisrelative]

@@Just_Julia_ not anymore, they left him

[@mica8701]

@@proffesionalweredog7426 i think thejorie was definitely taking the piss. reminds me of twistedhellknight

[@sorinamarie1681]

thejory is still one of the funniest dudes on tumblr. he recently recut the unfriended movie to include him in it

[@reesf743]

The "Met God, she's black" shirt is something I'd wear, even as my entire state gathered and stoned me to death

[@Partemis]

Read that as "meth god, she's black"

[@Sophiaivanovs]

Of course it's the states

[@contraband_queen68]

I'd wear that shirt with you comrade✊🏾

[@ismellupdog]

@@Partemiswouldn't put it past old-school tumblr to invent meth god tbh

[@LunarRaevyn]

My worst moment is like-theres a glasses version of the hat post, where its endless people adding pictures of them with glasses, and the premise is that you have a pic where you go "whaaaat, noo, if i push my glasses up like an anime character it won't do the glowy thing" but in the 2nd pic you edit your glasses to make them glow when u push them up, and a 3rd where you move in the picture and make it blurry and look all shocked that it "worked" When i was like 15 i added selfies of me doing that to the post and even after ive deleted it i had like 1k followers at the time, SOMEWHERE a surviving reblog exists and I'm in such agony over it. I looked like a total fetus

[@jjjm7322]

oh man I might know your face-

[@alexdoorn234]

There's also the how do you take of a shirt post which was iconic. Which was just a post of people showing how they take of their shirt. I'm pretty sure my brother participated in that post. And I remember the anime glasses post I think my brother wanted to add to it when he got his glasses

[@LunarRaevyn]

@@jjjm7322 if you ever saw a bleach blonde dude with headphones that was me and im so sorry

[@LunarRaevyn]

@@alexdoorn234 STOPPPPP I REMEMBER THE SHIRT POST I tried it out myself when i was like 14 when i first saw it but i never added pictures, at least your brother mightve been spared the infamy of being in the glasses post

[@LunarRaevyn]

Please god this keeps getting likes i don't want anime glasses to be my legacy

[@thesadisticskitty]

Timestamps for your viewing pleasure 0:00 Intro 1:05 bingus 1:09 SkillShare 2:10 Voice Acting 2:43 Colour of the Sky 3:44 Tumblr University 5:10 RabidLoving 6:59 Tumblr Code 7:46 Oppa Homeless Style 11:02 Markiplier and the LA Gangs 11:50 Miku Binder Thomas Jefferson 13:33 Down With Cis Bus 14:14 The Weed Smoking Girlfriends 22:23 Alexandria's Genesis 23:40 Sixpenceee Heals 25:45 Infinite Chocolate 26:13 Cole Sprouce Social Experiment 28:35 Then Perish 29:35 The Hat Post 32:48 The Toe Necklace 34:00 Tumblr User Pizza 35:02 John Green Cock Monologue 36:17 Outro

[@bEccleston]

oh my god the weed smoking girlfriends is EIGHT MINUTES???

[@asrieldreemurr1988]

Thank you

[@balesplace]

I love how a good 6-7 minutes are dedicated to the weed-smoking girlfriends chain lmao

[@balesplace]

@Ruben Geyer yes, smorking a weed bunt. (They are my girlfriends)

[@WriterGirl719]

"Old tumblr had some really good, wholesome stuff." "Next is the severed toe post." The idea that tumblr let us edit other people's posts is INSANE. WHY?! Who thought that was a good idea? How was that not going to end in disaster?

[@gabriellebueche3643]

Oh Jesus God I remember this

[@Kiss_My_Aspergers]

I think it was a thing that they just didn't consider the repercussions of at the time. They probably didn't even notice it wasn't a thing in the site's code.

[@electrocast]

i dunno it was useful for rp blogs because you could get rid of 15+ reblog chains

[@starflurries]

bc tumblr didn’t expect a celebrity like john green to join and get his panties in a twist about his post being edited like that

[@DapperDemonicGent]

I still remember when they removed that feature and people got pissed because it made it harder to remove annoying comments and long-ass reblog chains without going back and reblogging directly from op. Which seems pretty trivial in comparison to the absolute chaos that was bein allowed to edit other people's posts however you want

[@Fanimati0n]

Heritage posts couldn't find the original post for Oppa Homeless Style because it doesn't exist. It was a redditor with a beef with Tumblr that made up the story

[@orbcat1790]

For which one?

[@Fanimati0n]

@@orbcat1790 oppa homeless style

[@aim-to-misbehave5674]

Sarah Z did a good summary/deep dive into OHS and all the similar stories like the down with cis bus, if anyone's interested!

[@professionalcatgirl8592]

that’s a plot twist

[@samshaffer2250]

Fun fact the same guy did most the fake stories from that time

[@keeshansbandana1905]

Charlie is WERKIN for that paycheck. The passion put behind these unhinged monologues is commendable

[@CharleyMarlowe]

Awww thank you so much!

[@Sitcomabed]

TUMBLE LITERALLY NEEDS TO SPONSOR YOU AT THIS POINT

[@fullmetaltheorist]

it would but tumbler is basically broke at this point

[@nocturnalnewsie]

Imagine being sponsored by tumblr

[@foreverbored2009]

@@nocturnalnewsie LMFAOO

[@femthingevelyn]

you think Tumblr has the money to sponsor people??? Tumblr doesn't even have the money to properly implement updates

[@mellifluou]

tumblr literally gets all of its money from strange ads with even stranger images I think if they even gave teya a dollar it would bankrupt itself

[@cjm8862]

Nobody ever talks about “god damn it moon moon” when they talk about old tumblr memes. That used to crack my shit up

[@nintendonut100]

Those posts were gold

[@elliewellie_YouTube]

It's still funny

[@kebrinab13]

Istill blame moon moon for stuff 😂

[@towelgirl21]

I love Moon Moon. And when they made Doge Doge his friend.

[@elainaswanson4364]

i use moon moon as a naming convention to this day

[@ultimaidyt]

the fact that oppa homeless style isnt even a real tumblr post just kills me

[@carolesmith7370]

WAIT WHAT

[@ivy-re6qo]

it's a FAKE fake tumblr post lmao

[@iwakeupandboomimarat]

@@carolesmith7370 it was made by a reddit user, heritageposts did a full deep dive into it and eventually found the creator of it, who basically just said they used it to make tumblr look embarrasing

[@dx.feelgood5825]

your pfp,,, my god I've encountered probably THREE people that know that movie exists- I want to hug Mike,he deserved better :(

[@AnonymousButNott]

@@iwakeupandboomimarat As a redditor, I apologize on behalf of Reddit

[@regularjoe5517]

John green always, always brings back such painful memories because of the horrifying, mortifying, gut-wrenchingly embarrassing memory of when I was in middle school and showed this girl that was two years older than me the post because I thought that it truly encapsulated what tumblr was like. I have very few regrets and am generally easy going, but Jesus Christ what I would give to wipe that memory completely from both of our minds.

[@theKobaltPossum]

My favorite will always be “It Fucken Wimdy”

[@justtired7598]

THAT POST IS AN ETERNAL PART OF MY VOCABULARY

[@martinamakek9608]

I always say that when is windy

[@martinamakek9608]

I mean wimdy of course, excuseme

[@Mehhhhhhhh]

WIMDY

[@z0mb3rt]

I literally say "it fucken wimdy" every fucking day

[@Ghouliano]

The post about “Alexandria’s Genesis” had me by the throat for YEARS fr believed that shit for years as a teenager LMAO

[@kill4karma]

Me too, when I first saw it back in middle school I was 100% fooled

[@carolesmith7370]

same 😭 i remember telling my mom about it and her being like “wtf”

[@ZidaneKayos]

I believed it at first, when it was talking about the purple eyes, I was thinking it was cool that some people have this rare mutation that give them purple eyes, and then it just kept going and getting more unbelievable and it lost me.

[@emma-di5ly]

Same. I 100% believed it.

[@errortryagainlater4240]

I believed it when it was JUST about the purple eyes, then I heard "they also don't have any body hair or blemishes and never get sick" and I realised they were basically LARPing as bad Mary Sue OC's 😂

[@ladybirdg5658]

We're sleeping on Alexandria's Genesis because enough of us are embarrassed for believing it for even a moment

[@qualek7862]

Alexandria’s genesis was so prevalent that I, as a 12 years old who had never heard of Tumblr, was certain purple eyes was possible but rare

[@Yessica13]

That depends. Do you believe Elizabeth Taylor had violet eyes?

[@ConvincingPeople]

Violet eyes can technically exist in certain forms of albinism due to a lack of pigment in the eye and the blood vessels of cornea showing through the iris, making what would normally be perceived as blue eyes appear as such. As noted above, the actress Elizabeth Taylor seems to have had something like that going on, having extremely pale skin and eyes which appeared either a very unusual shade of blue or violet depending on the lighting; there is also a fairly famous Japanese model whose name escapes me with very pronounced albinism whose eyes are violet due to this effect. That said, this is very rare and tends to result in visual impairment.

[@seelcudoom1]

i feel like the markipliar one doesent get enough focus on the fact they apparently think gang wars work like a competitive video game where if you get enough crime points the other side just says good game and hands it over?

[@a-rat-in-your-walls]

Tumblr was full of sheltered suburban kids, you think they have the slightest clue how gangs work?

[@sparklysapphic2556]

crime points hahahaha

[@angiereeson5078]

does anyone remember the skeleton war?? the "better than you in both genders" post? Im guilty of still using ~these~ for emphasis and wriTING LIKE THIS sometimes lmao

[@gabriellebueche3643]

YES OMFG

[@cranberrychili2260]

Omg the ~this~ is the the old ✨this✨

[@yourlocalpeach6060]

omg i LOVED the skeleton war, i completely forgot

[@parkergarlough9574]

@@cranberrychili2260 i do both in the same sentence lol

[@mybrainbroke5279]

wait do you mean that genderfluid person who presented masculine and feminine and everyone lost their gd minds over it???

[@Terrafying_]

OH MY GOD! I have some tea on the whole 'where everyone is as crazy as you are!' thing from tumblr university. So I made that, it's a redbubble design and I made it as a joke for my friends and put it up and then it just caught on and it was such a funny experience, every now and then I get a redbubble notification that someone has bought a sticker of it and I just hope whoever bought it whether its ironic or not is thriving, this is my legacy!

[@mophead_xu]

oh my god good for you!!! (genuine)

[@PaleNoFace]

How does it feel to be a legend ?

[@camhop]

My best friend and I became friends in 2012 because she was wearing a walking dead shirt and i said "I like your shoelaces" and then we proceeded to write a hetalia/homestuck fanfiction together. It's iconic seeing the tumblr code post again lol

[@overgrownkudzu]

honestly the craziest thing about this is that apparently the code worked

[@edraculation]

comments that kill you on the spot

[@ConvincingPeople]

The words "Hetalia/Homestuck fanfiction" are so specifically 2012 it hurts.

[@burntice9990]

when i was doing a powerpoint for a project worth 40% of my grade i included strange æons as a person who inspired me and my teacher asked me what content you made and i said “book reviews and lesbian history” and she was very impressed

[@reysolo6035]

Good for u! All my teachers are homophobic

[@johnr797]

@@reysolo6035 All of them? How do you know? Sounds like a tumblr fake story tbh

[@burntice9990]

@@johnr797 bro i will send you a picture of the powerpoint, what’s your insta?

[@johnr797]

@@burntice9990 you need to read more carefully, I was replying to the other person that commented on your post, not you. If given the opportunity, who *wouldn't* include Teya in a school project?

[@Branflakies]

The thing that sends me is that the Alexandria genesis condition was originally created by a daria fanfic writer lmao

[@aceofspades3667]

Daria as in the MTV sarcastic show with daria and Jane? I thought fans of the show were above fanfics I dunno why

[@bajabl]

@@aceofspades3667 if it exists, there's fanfic

[@enoumoh2039]

@@bajabl Anytime I watch a show and want to make fanfiction, I simply look for fanfiction specific to what I want to write and not write any at all.

[@lzmunch]

@@aceofspades3667 idk if youve ever been on the fan wiki, but they usually have an entire subsection dedicated to common fanfiction canon

[@ziggyhfx8202]

I recognize it's probably not a tumblr iconic post but one of my favourite tumblr posts is the "pukicho - furry artist vs doctor" thread.

[@fangsfrthmmrs]

that's one of my favorites too!truly a piece of tumblr heritage

[@k80_]

I’d say it’s an iconic post

[@arandomqueerfanpeep7655]

Oh I love that one

[@lalaliet]

Ikr it's so sad that heritageposts can't archive it, since it's from 2020

[@dpeterson5630]

the fact that it's from 2020 doesn't feel right, it *feels* like a 2015 post

[@standardhuman8675]

jory must have had the time of his life writing all that shit. i love it so much