How a Narcissist Expects You To Behave After Destroying You

🎉 Black Friday Offer: Empowerment Course Bundle 🎉
www.emotionala... Break the Trauma Bond in 5 Steps:
www.emotionala...
chapters
01:10 What is chaos to a Narcissist ?
02:04 The main question !
03:38 Chaos is entirely about you not them !
06:16 insight on my Covertly Narcissistic mother
07:51 This kind of experience changes your perspective !
08:41 The crazy thing about chaos
10:32 Why do you never find a Solution ?

[@narcabusecoach]

Break the Trauma Bond in 5 Steps: www.emotionalabuserecovery.com/breaking-the-trauma-bond

[@geraldinebyrnes3298]

In my experience they throw the grenade into your life to cause chaos and when they are done and satisfied they smirk and smile watching you in their mess

[@MSSHARIII]

This description is spot on!

[@lemaxx2638]

During discard

[@lauraantic1384]

And blame you for all this so they wash their hands couse it is what you deserve in their sick mind

[@christopherleubner6633]

Yup the smirk when the judge took away my kid..

[@hiaslayer]

Interesting comparison. I was thinking about something similar but I developed that further: they throw a grenade into a room (your life) and create chaos. Then they pretend that they don’t see the chaos, when you call them out for it showing it to them, they accuse you to cry over spilled milk and that you cannot forget. Then they ask you to clean up with them and when you refuse (because of the boundaries you set) they tell you that you are the problem not wanting to work together with them. To outsiders they just drive the narrative that you don’t want to work on fixing the chaos. The fact that they caused it in the first place they conveniently leave out in their narrative

[@thewinehussy_5609]

And they cant be in quiet, peaceful environments. When the energy is relaxed and still, they will talk loudly, bang dishes, slam doors, play their music and TV SUPER loud, etc.

[@JustMe-uu3bh]

well, actually, they also "mimic".........the narc *fe-male* that I have been interacting with, actually does everything I do, down to buying things "she-it" does not want nor how to use but she-it will buy it to have "what I have" and mimics what I say and will act like it's "her" thoughts, her ideas. so I am SUPER quiet, I mute the tv and read. BEFORE the narc would leave it's door open and LOUDLY play it's tv and talk and fart, LOUD. I even had to start wearing headphones to try to block out "it's" noise and racket. no problem. then I casually mentioned how I NEVER have noise, I always mute, and NOW she-it is "totally quiet", creepily so. I do believe she-it is always listening to what I do, to be able to hear what I am doing. "It" is empty, and entertains demons. period. it's all about THEM. the ONLY reason "she-it" is trying to be "quiet" now is to be able to listen to what I do. I am not kidding. otherwise, I could hear her farting from her room with the door open and loudly talking, blah blah blah and her tv from 30 feet away...........never ever considerate ever. if I want "it" to do something, I merely start doing it or say that "I hate something" or leave a random note around *like in the trash, for "it" to read and secretly feel, "AH HA, I KNOW!" but it's a ruse on my part. they are SICK. to describe this kind of behavior is like leaving an unflushed toilet that is "full"......and leaving it for you to flush and clean up after, she does this..........like she is "superior" and "above" cleaning after it-self - the ONLY way she does different is if I DO IT and it shows her up in some way. I do this all the time, I act innocent like I don't know what she is about but I do. working on myself to leave asap. right now "it" is "love-bombing" a woman who is from another country, I am sure she is nice and unaware and believes "it's" lies - is busy buying things for this new target, I am happy because the onus is off me. ugh, *shudders inwardly........ we just have to work on ourselves to erase this from our lives forever. so they "can" be quiet but it is always with an intention behind it, in my case, it is because she-it wants to "know" what I am doing and after I said, "I'm always quiet" she-it now tries to figure out what I am doing so is "quiet" too. sick, narcs are sick and ugly twisted.

[@cletiawilliams1436]

My narc brother would sit and wait....when it got quiet he looks around and started yelling nobody ever loved me...starting cutting everybody down then leaves and slams the door. None of that took place in his life.

[@Lily152-b2x]

Definitely. When everything was quiet and peaceful I knew my ex narc would cause a problem!

[@violetstorm8451]

Look around and choose who will be their target 🫣

[@brokenbuthealed5652]

This is so true. My ex would do all and the above. If I was in bed,he would turn on the lights to disturb me, or attempt to start fussing or wake me up with a conversation about mess,or pretend to trip and fall out of the shower. Anything to try and get a reaction.

[@Vstar87]

They expect you to forget the abuse they have done and forgive over and over again !

[@jennelleschulzeck9426]

I totally agree with you.

[@effiemaccheyne9101]

They won't even admit what they did but tell you you don't want to forgive "it," so therefor you're the problem.

[@AdaKizi248]

@@effiemaccheyne9101 True. If you "forgive" them it means they've done something that needs forgiving, and we can't have that. My mother's reaction was always "That never happened, you must have dreamed it."

[@sillysop]

“Isn’t it love to look over these things” and “you’re so judgemental” calling on my Christian faith to enable the emotional, physical and sexual abuse. Errr no mate, now go and explain yourself to Jesus. 🙄

[@TashaHuntley]

Exactly.

[@JoCed-jc5id]

This brought back terrible childhood memories from both of my parents. They physically and emotionally abused me most of my life. I’m the oldest of 3. At 55 years of age, I’m learning that there’s a name to all that abuse.

[@yuu_miran]

Just learned about narcissism 1,5 yrs ago at my 36. Broken sick poor and incompetent. However I have accepted it with God’s mercy.

[@joseenoel8093]

Hi hon, keep watching and learning, us too 3 kids, I'm the youngest I'm golden child gone copper, knowing's half the healing, that your parents were immature's an understatement, they tried taking your strenght and beauty because you've so much and they've none!

[@justmyopinion2205]

The only thing wrong with me my whole life - WAS THEM.

[@valdastinson8455]

Sweetheart I too found out the truth about my parents nothing I do was enough, sister & brother as well. So with that said at age 60. I woke up no more I can’t take it made me sick all the time was not happy because it all was me & my fault. Not no more now the chains are off I’m so much better and happy god is good he saw how they threaten me. BUT GOD save me from all that they put me down not being enough person. I know I was the CHOSEN ONE ! ✅ ok because all I’ve been through in my life has Made me the woman I’m today they could not come out on the other side and being put whole. I give god all praise & Glory. I’m FREE love you young lady because what touch one heart ❤️ touches another heart ♥️ & U touch mine. Thank U for telling that because I thought it was all me. God Saul it all. I love them I do but I’m to old to be going back & froth with there shenanigans I’m resting in peace alive and bless . GOD bless all of U that’s been through abuse. 🫶🏽♥️✝️👑

[@bewarefalsenonprofits]

I am just discovering the scientific research on narcissistic parents at @ age 56. When I wonder what took me so long, I was just so busy working and striving for perfection. It wasn't until I slowed down work and started sleeping too much, that I started doing the work. KZbin and the Internet professionals and pros are doing a wonderful job of offering free materials to get started and sharing of their expansive knowledge.

[@franken-pattern]

They're wicked individuals who desire nothing but inflicting pain and cannot stand to see anyone happy or at peace. That, my loved ones, is demonic.

[@anacardinale5769]

I still believe, since they all follow the same pattern, that once we identify their behavior, we should not only seek therapy to help us see the truth but we need exorcists to remove the demonic infiltration. Truly evil resides behind all their lies and manipulations!

[@KatI422-r3m]

Yup. God called it first “the wicked”. We call them the Narcissist.

[@geraldinebyrnes3298]

Life and it's ups and downs is hard enough Why these individuals ( I won't call them human) want to inflict hurt and pain on people they are supposed to love is beyond me I just hope KARMA will provide justice and I'm around to see it

[@titaniumcranium3755]

​@@geraldinebyrnes3298 this Is exactly why i will always like Ty Lee over Zuko.

[@G.G.8GG]

They grind you to a pulp, then sneer at you because you're pulp.

[@Artretha]

My narc ex did that to me. He said I had become an "empty shell," and kept using that as an excuse to tell me that I wasn't good enough for him.

[@tarasilver8591]

this is the best comment i ever read.. yep my mother looks at me with disgust

[@tarasilver8591]

my poor grandmother died not knowing why she was like this n walked on eggshells especially when my mother would catch her doing something nice for me n the very day she died she wrote her very last check to my mother for 842.00 thats all she had left because my mother never took care of herself we couldnt sit shiva in peace because it was all about her feelings that needed the validation my grandmother was so worried she couldn't die in peace i remember her begging my mother to plz just try n get along n stop fighting WTF wow i cant believe i just said that but the truth needs no explanation 😢❤ n no matter how much i have read listened learned identified laughed cried screamed n yell to god almighty himself n know in my whole entire being that my mother is a complete no question about it a true narcissist with the evil that u can feel if she stands to close n she does because boundaries mean nothing but even with all that n the destruction n permanent consequences theres that tiny quiet but yet oh so loud voice that is with me all the time telling me no tara shes not that person how could she be how could she on purpose do all she can to destroy me n then tell anyone who would listen that everything is my fault n all she did was try to love me.. this mindfuck of a life has to be practice for something greater what mother feels n does this knowing the end ..

[@clintonnagy1662]

They chip away at your life slowly. They make us wonder why we get uncomfortable with it. Meanwhile, they keep pushing the pace trying to get what they want, and it's never enough. They rush you, they make all the decisions, they push aside your emotions, they gossip, they tell you where to work, what to eat, belittle your hobbies, accuse you of cheating ( when it's them ), make plans then change them or cancel, blame you for their problems, talk about their new supply then say they are " just friends" then F**k them behind your back, they lie through omission, refuse to wait in line for anything, they constantly call and hold you hostage on the phone, they gas light you when you tell them the truth and accuse you of lying, the spend money without remorse, their opinions are the only ones that matter, they bash anything that matters to you like sleep, hobbies, work, friends and family, they make rude comments then deflect by saying they are telling the truth and we can't handle it, they waste your time, and don't respect boundaries, they contradict most of what they say, they are hypocritical, they refuse to kiss you, they hate feeling vunerable, they play mind games and demand you follow their lead when they make mistakes and you have to fix their problems. It's a nightmare to be with these people. It only gets worse the longer you stay, and the healing process takes longer to decompress from the toxicity they project onto you. Once bitten by the vampire, you become one while the infection slowly poisons your inner soul.

[@claireadams6214]

But never show them. I've only just been able to cry. Ps, I'm 54. So yes, don't give them the satisfaction

[@sadiamufti8890]

They most certainly hate blissful silence, tranquillity and peace!!!

[@lauraantic1384]

They create all this evil that nobody deserve and i will never forget all this and will never trust again we all lost our time ,health and all for nobody

[@cindys.9688]

Yes, trust issues are huge. I've had to navigate narcissistic abuse for so long, and have had trust issues for so long, that at 62 I don't know if I'll ever be 100% okay. We can only do our best. Take care of yourself!

[@sharonlain5830]

Best thing I ever did was go no contact 🙌

[@RobNiser]

it shows that you know about their sick behaviour and can deal with it and you do not need them to live your own life.

[@hettykoster9447]

I always thought I had the ability to bring order into the chaos …. It never worked…

[@clintonnagy1662]

Me too. I thought I could save her, but she never changed a damn thing. She thinks drama and chaos is normal. It messed up my peaceful aura.

[@cc1k435]

We are exactly the thing they want, then. They want to give people hope so they can take it away, over and over again. I can bring order to chaos, too, for those who are willing to be at peace. But narcissists are not of that mindset, and they are absolutely addicted to bringing in chaos. They never feel settled, and they deal with it by creating problems where there don't need to be any. I'm glad I finally figured it out, better late than never. 😢

[@joeprimal2044]

Me too.

[@Gina71954]

Never shall it work. with a narc you will forever be the loser untill you free yourself from it's claws

[@hettykoster9447]

@@Gina71954 Well said !!

[@armoncakes7318]

This is true yet so painful, "You have to suffer with their fake suffering." It is sickening to imagine that they are celebrating as you "suffer 'for' them."

[@77sunflowers]

So true!!! They want you to suffer for them ...

[@db44491]

Danish, so so sorry you had to suffer this as a child, i have had terrible experiences with family members who are and were narcissists, these people have extreme selfishness at their core, which is abnormal...

[@prophet1782]

Narc family members gang up. support each other. It's a family cult. { Tell me about it. 5 narc bro. 1 snake sis, mom, P Gr mom} Only 1 sis on my side. dad was always out.

[@calight1111]

I’m adding a big FAT DITTO to these comments.

[@GreekGypsy]

I've been out of it for seven years now. 🙏

[@ValerieRoberts-uv7kf]

Congratulations on your wise decision 🎉🎉

[@ariesnarona]

I cut him off on everything in the beginning of his gradual discard process for me. Now he can't ghost me. That is power. I win.

[@kimmie6138]

I was expected to be properly chastized and apologetic. Being a narcissist must be exausting.

[@dianeashley687]

That's probably why they always sleep better than we do. While we're up all night worried, too stressed and mentally broke down to sleep.

[@cc1k435]

I supposed that stress is always removed temporarily for them by handing it off to a target. Then they start over again. 😮

[@LauraSmith777]

The greatest thing about this channel is you get validated.

[@Michellepunkrock]

This rings so true. My mother always had to make everything about her. When I was getting married, she made sure to try to have her own big events going on . She had to have the spotlight. She had a big medical issue, as was extremely common for her anytime anything happened for someone else that took attention away from her. She couldn’t even let me have one day. I should’ve expected that. Whenever she recollects my wedding day , it’s about how difficult it was for her bc of her health challenges not about what a nice day or how lovely the flowers were. She can never say even one nice damn thing. She was barely even there for me in any way to help plan it. I was very much left to my own devices.

[@valdastinson8455]

I know U feel bad. But if it would help. I have the same monster 👿 it’s all about her, when it comes to me. Take care 🌹

[@carparthero]

as far as empathy from the narcissist for you, don't expect the depth of an ocean from a puddle. essentially you can't expect a false mask to express true emotions. It's like asking a hologram to give you emotional support. cheers from southern ontario, canada 🍁

[@juliecarrick8693]

Good description “ don’t expect the depth of an ocean from a puddle” I like that one 😊 👍

[@carparthero]

@@juliecarrick8693 enjoy and feel free to use it. enjoy your narc free weekend. -cheers, steven

[@elizabethbowie9753]

Like asking a hologram for emotional support!!! 👍😄😄😄 !!! You got That Right!!!!

[@juliecarrick8693]

@@carparthero thanks have a great weekend yourself also. 🌟 love and peace 🌟 from Lake District UK

[@serenaluce]

100% true! They are especially good at destroying YOUR special days like birthdays and making it all only about THEM! You are always wrong no matter what you do and how well you try to walk on eggshells!..

[@LW-mq1zl]

Yes, my mother ruined my 25th birthday. I’d made the mistake of renting a condo from them 🤦🏼‍♀️ and my bf and I had gone out the night before celebrating. My mom shows up at the rental at 8 am the morning of my bday (Saturday) saying she’d made an appt to get the chimney cleaned. She saw my bf’s car in the driveway and all hell broke loose as she said “I shouldn’t have to drag you out of the sack” and “you learned your stray cat ways in the back of a pickup truck” whatever that meant lol. I’d been w my bf for years at that point and I was an adult! She then lassoed the rest of my family in and everyone blamed me for not wanting to go to my parents house to “celebrate”. She’s almost 80 years old now and she’s still a witch.

[@helpinyerdasellavon]

Exactly. Removing one self from the equation is the best thing to do. Thank you for sharing your own experience with us, Danish.

[@terriarnold4364]

I am so "grateful and thankful God,intervened to get out almost 5 months ago.🙏💜🙏❤️

[@hettykoster9447]

🙏🏻❤️

[@yuu_miran]

So happy for you🙏🏻🤗

[@ValerieRoberts-uv7kf]

Congratulations on your victory 🎉🎉

[@JovitaGomez-mt9vl]

I literally stopped moving in 2019. I believe your videos has caused me to become alive. I admire how you continue to make these life saving videos. Thanks much, Jovita

[@theyellowshoe]

I just watching this video & remembered something, this was before I started researching narcissism. I had started crocheting & was trying to learn the granny square, my narcissist had/has a bad habit of constant interruption. After I found a good video of learning granny square I told him to leave me be, I'm really focusing on this. After the third time of him putting his phone right in my face (to watch a stupid video) I stood up so quick the chair fell & as I'm throwing balls of yarn at him I'm screaming to LEAVE NE ALONE! Yes visualize throwing balls of yarn 🤣 And yes he left me alone after that.

[@raindrop1215]

I'm glad it worked! My creep of a dad wouldn't have left me alone. He would have just used it as "evidence" that I'm the crazy and abusive one.

[@rogerwhoareyou]

​@@raindrop1215 So would my wife. She would cause the chaos and then use DARVO to twist and justify her victim mentality. Meanwhile, I am drained and exhausted. An empty shell of my former self.

[@i.l.9546]

We can walk on becoming the galvanized version of ourselves. I did. My narcissistic parents and sister didn't break me. My ex husband didn't break me. And the last narcissist which I left 9 months ago was the final piece of education I needed. It was actually a test for me how to deal with someone I expected to turn out a narcissist. If I am strong enough to not bond but studying their patterns and mine too to understand better what are my issues I have to work on. They all were wrong about me being the eternal scapegoat. I am thrieving everytime a little more after I managed to leave them behind. I am not blaming myself for falling into their traps. I am not blaming myself to believe in the good. Yes I was naive, but I love the good heart of mine. Standing here, having raised my children alone, having a career by my one, owning a house, having a stable circle of kind friends ... I am independent of the validation from any narcissist. Couldnt be more proud of myself. Finally I can say I love me❤

[@freethinker5930]

I wish this therapist was in my area and taking new patients. He is so spot on, on so much!

[@elizabethbowie9753]

Free Thinker, think about This! Why do WE need a therapist??? Why do WE need to leave?? They need a therapist, & They need to Leave. 💗🕊️💗

[@sailorPinata]

The crazy thing with their habit of destroying celebrations like christmas etc is that even when they brag about hating those special days, when you had enough and decide to celebrate it without them and even if it means being alone, they will still try to victimize themselves by complaining that their child / partner / etc left them alone and ruin it for them and tell everyone how an ungrateful bad children you are blah blah blah. Something to remember about narcissistic people is that you can never win with them and you have to be okay with being painted as the villain.

[@IsabellaPiesch]

The narcissist doesn´t know you. Because they are not interested in you as a person. So they don´t know what you are capable of. It is not smart to underestimate people. Yeah okay I admit I was destroyed - yes but I am not a person who gives up on life (I never was because otherwise I wouldn´t even survive my childhood - that is another story...). So I can only write: Never underestimate people. (I would never do that). If I am on the floor I always get up stronger. A taurus zodiac sign is a fighter ... I learned during my life: Once it is raining and another day there is sun. That´s life!

[@sadiamufti8890]

❤

[@juice_wink]

I'm a Taurus too! Hello to you, my resilient survivor! A narc can never destroy or move a bull that's firm in their stance, at least that's what I used to tell myself when going head to head with my narc family. I am strong and stubborn in the best way possible and I won't let them break me. 💗

[@a0a0--0ao0]

I resonate to your comment a lot! I never understood why my narc ex was totally underestimating me but I know now... he studied me to prey on me without any sincere interest to know who I was

[@tanushrees3863]

these are the most perfect types of videos for my knowledge about narcisstic abuse ..and my father is literally abusing me for no reason,and he always feels angry when i get accomplishments or something good

[@yuu_miran]

Seek help from God. Ask in prayer everyday, patiently and consistently. And you will see an exit one day.

[@JustMe-uu3bh]

my mother was the same, fortunately she is dead, *sorry for her but........glad she is not causing me grief any more yet I have always had to work on myself because I always attracted narcs......I believe it is because I didn't feel good about who I was and I was and am GOOD but I was told I "was the bad one" and that "everything was my fault" - brainwashing since babyhood. narc mother.

[@cc1k435]

My mother was like that, too. It's best to not involve them in whatever you are working on whenever you can manage it. Everything is about them, anyway. There will come a time when that's possible and you'll be on your own to do so. It sucks, but you can't change a narcissist. 😢

[@JustMe-uu3bh]

@@yuu_miran I found (and I totally believe in God and try to live my life that way) that God wanted me to learn about how powerful I was and am. this involved seeing where I am complicit and responsible for where I find myself in life. we are "co-creators" you know. and what "we sow, we reap"......our thoughts, words, actions and feelings generate vibrations drawing to us what we want and don't want, sometimes consciously but a lot of it is unconscious. this is why "waking up" spiritually is important, God wants us to become like Jesus who tried to show us the Way to Become. God bless.

[@JustMe-uu3bh]

@@cc1k435 we are not here to change others so the blame game won't work. all we can do is change ourselves and then our circumstances change, the secret of Life is that we are here to wake up, we are "co-creators" as God is in us as our Soul, He breathed a spark of Himself into us when He made us in His image, we are His own. God bless.

[@cathy1430]

50 yrs ago on my wedding day, my father told me he wasn't going to give me away. Then he told me I could walk to the church as it was in the same street. He was in a state, so I didn't play into it. Told him ‘good’ my brother-in-law could, and I would get him to drive me. He sulked but did it anyway. He was like a resentful child.

[@CynthiaSteele-o2g]

Same thing happened to me when I was 19…. I’m 67 now and NOTHING has changed!!!😢

[@cathy1430]

@@CynthiaSteele-o2g Same age as me.

[@dianeashley687]

I'm so glad I recently, randomly came across your channel. You precisely articulate the emotional and physical abuse I went thru with my now ex, things I just couldn't explain or talk about to anyone because it just sounded so ridiculous. I was essentially living with a grown ass toddler. And it has taken me years to finally completely go no contact with him. Yet, I still have emotional trauma and I guess PTSD from that relationship. Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom with us. You've definitely been a great help for me, much better than the one on one therapist I had for 2 years. Bless you

[@annette-fl2uy]

Even if they don't go, they send their chaos. The lies they tell are astounding.

[@autumnsmith3585]

At our house the majority of the drama was holidays and at dinner time.

[@turn2god105]

I really appreciate the way you unpack your experiences with narcissistic behavior. I had the same type of upbringing and I am now watching my nephew become the chaos creator. I try to walk on eggshells around an 11 yr. old boy but it's just not possible to avoid the rage filled temper tantrums! No matter what anyone says or does he always finds a way to take offense and use it as an excuse to tear into the peaceful day. My sister, his mom, goes to therapy but I think he needs it too or she will end up with an adult toddler snowflake who can't handle life.

[@eva4adam451]

True. Be carefully. Mostly puberty .they need correction. A a music teacher I had big groups between 8-17 year. Drill extra and not kick them out works better then ignoring. They need correction.

[@JustMe-uu3bh]

@@eva4adam451 good luck...........younger the better, ages 1-7 most impact. stay safe......

[@eva4adam451]

@@JustMe-uu3bh no no. 1-7 is not possible in a group. I am not baby sitter.

[@JustMe-uu3bh]

@@eva4adam451 I totally understand that but what I meant is it is well known that by the age of 7, the child's character is mostly formed. you, hopefully will have an impact, people don't forget love.....I still remember a teacher who was kind to me when I was 8, never ever forgot her :) good luck, your job is challenging. God bless you..

[@liseduedue2715]

Extremely strange that they don’t want to make a solution?!! What the f is wrong with them

[@incognito595]

They have a Serious Personality Disorder, which is a serious mental illness.

[@KatI422-r3m]

Keep educating yourself on the topic. You’ll find out.

[@titaniumcranium3755]

​@@KatI422-r3mI've been studying these freaks for as long as I lived (18 year) and I still don't understand them

[@ValerieRoberts-uv7kf]

Freaks indeed!❤

[@vivsworldtrip]

Thank you for sharing your childhood so that we can learn from it. You poor thing. So sorry to hear about your NARC parents. Thank goodness you no longer have them in your life! And now because of your experience, you became a psychologist (me too - so I could understand my childhood) and are able to help so many thru KZbin! 😊

[@jhmumma]

This video was hard to watch, but extremely helpful as I move through recovering from a narcissistic partner

[@Sunshine-hb2tx]

You are explaining my husband. Our holidays were chaotic. We had to leave our camping holiday because I spend too much time talking to someone even though we both agreed we would have drinks with the rest of the group. We had to pack up and leave the morning our friends arrived to join us. The kids were distraught having to say goodbye to their friends after all their excitement.

[@cindys.9688]

Thank you for these particular insights. I'd never heard it broken down like this, and it's powerful. It never ceases to amaze me how similar narcissists are to each other regardless of gender, relationship, age, nationality, religion, country, job, or era which when they lived. I truly believe as well that they are demonic. To live with it is hard, but to learn from it is priceless.

[@KatI422-r3m]

They’re demonized. The kingdom of darkness though evil is organized. They have one objective. And it is to steal, kill and destroy.

[@frederickcraft1772]

And when you say I'm sorry,they say I'm not looking for sorry.you can't win.

[@sophieryan8010]

It never leaves you. Not a day goes by when my ex doesn’t pop in to my head in some nasty scenario. I left him over twenty years ago..

[@KishorSharmaExploringLife]

Very true video about Narcissists ❤😊

[@ysh_2024]

Every. Single. Time! This is so accurate. It's as if you were there in my home taking notes. I can't believe so many of us has experienced this same horrid phenomenon.

[@jeanneroewert8048]

This nails it💥… I call it Captain Chaos ⚡️… thank You for putting this in words that explain it so crystal clear✨

[@Spunky072]

I’m so sorry for what you went through, Danish. You 100% described both my father and mother, each of them matched exactly what you said. I have lived 2200 miles away for 23 years. They still behave the same. I am sending prayers for confidence and strength to everyone who has visited your posting today. Thank you for all of your support and information to us people who have suffered immensely in our lives.

[@briancorrer7775]

My ex wife would turn the lights on after I worked all day and she played video games, because I was trying to sleep. I would ask why and she would say because she wants to read but she would sit there without a book just smirking at me. Once I would get out of bed and leave the bedroom upset she would fall right asleep. She was abusive, a cheater, and abandoned her children on top of it all. It seems all these creatures are similar.

[@ValerieRoberts-uv7kf]

My son went through similar circumstances as you. Thank God he finally divorced her and in doing so, remarried to a wonderful woman. ❤

[@deborahrobinson6553]

Once they've upset you, they are happy and drift right off. They live on other's pain. I wouldn't trade being a empath for anything in the world, and to be a shell who wants nothing but to hurt people is something I cannot fathom, and I hope I never can.

[@valenciamergulhao5734]

Danish have been following u since a while now.... u have literally been a saviour and the one person whom I could refer to when i actually need to explain to my family and well wishers what is an actual meaning of narcissist... thank-you....🙏so relatable

[@gouthamisirigiri3293]

All my years through out the life journey are infront of me while listening to this episode. Tears in my eyes, pain in my throat. Exactly it happens this way only.

[@PatGusoff]

My mother's favorite activity. She loved verbal fights and problems. Enjoyed telling me about arguments in the family. Christmas to her was give me a nice gift and I will never use it. Example bought her a coffee maker. Asked her to use it Reluctantly did one time. Then cleaned it and repacked it as if she would never use it again. Said "Are you happy now?". Same thing with new kitchen clock. Old one had broken cover and was taped up. New one was never used. Had my brother paint over tape and praised him for such fine work. Could never please her!

[@GuardianAngel143]

This is what im dealing now. He said all he wants is for me to say SORRY of something i did not do. Accusing me of cheating and all. He keeps accusing me of destroying and desrespecting him even I'm silent and isolating myself from everyone including my family. Yes LAYERS of chaos never ending. I broke up with him but keeps pestering me. I keep blocking him and he keep buying new number to humiliate,insult and accuse me of things I don't even have an idea... Draining😓

[@ranazeeshan5147]

Man literally that's my family story my father is the narcissist he do same thing I think all narcissists do the same things

[@cassien7585]

This why my inlaws can't come on Christmas. I can already hear the complaining about parties and pretty much everything. No thank you

[@PNWWildernessJourneys]

Appreciate you sharing your personal experiences, I can relate! It seems as though your most recent videos are going to a much deeper (heartfelt) level. Totally appreciate that as well! Thank you!

[@jhalak831]

Those who faced the abused will remain alone for the entire life,will not trust anybody.

[@SheilaPeer90210]

Agreed. I've completely lost trust in EVERYONE. And plan on living the single life after my narcissistic ex discarded me.

[@VaswatiDeb]

My narc ex used to tell that if there is no chaos then life becomes boring. So there should be some kind of push-pull dianamics in a relationship, else the whole thing become too "boring". And my god he can create chaos over every small issues, any kind of disagreements and I was doomed. He made me feel terrible and cry. And that somehow made him feel powerful because then he used to "console" me by saying he "has to" abuse if I dont "obey" him.

[@Salty_Dog438]

The anxiety was off the charts. Walking on eggshells but she'd create chaos over anything and everything. My dad was the same way. You just never knew when they'd go off or over what and it could have been over the smallest things, too.

[@NithyaNithyananthi-y2k]

Excellent sir, u r just like God for me who have clarified many of my doubt which I had for long time, many things which we can not tell clearly because we don't even understand how to express, you have said them clearly, may God bless u with all happiness for such a beautiful service by saving many unknown people suffering for others mistake.

[@cautiouslyoptimistic1962]

My life story in a nutshell. All facts and this helped me so much. Thank you!

[@Ayaime7]

Thank you for the clarity. There is no easy way to navigate the relarionship with the ex. and thank you for sharing as well and Sorry that was your life growing up. I get stuck wondering if both are or arent. Or one is more bpd as setting boundaries and seeing if the relationship can be respected has shown alot of progress. But also i feel the paradigm of being a role pre set without my knowledge. Never truly had a parent was more often the parent. My boundaries with the ex are to be prepared at any given moment to cause chaos to. Whether its schedules boundary violations. When a schedule is set he at this point wont agree and will toy it later regardless of asking if the schedule works for summer etc. So often i have to rearrange summer even vacations. He doesnt know how to schedule. I actually have it as a strength along side flexible routine and healthy routine. Its also an Achilles because if its upset way too much it can effect me. And when its intentional can set me into a ruminating spiral. Thank you for being vulnerable it helps feel safe with my truth as well. And know i am not in it alone. From my upbringing i actually had a strong sense of right wrong and not tos and dos. And a clear head on what is normal and wont tolerate. Sadly; funnily i ended up in a relationship with a man who made sure to re invent and prod on older healings. Healing is rough. Thanks and sorry so long a speil.

[@mediafinancing3789]

Love you!

[@Melva-Tjong]

So true, thanks for sharing Denis. I am glad that you understand the narcissism better than anyone else so that you can help the world to deal with it effectively.

[@prophet1782]

Thank you Danish. You have Evolved and now you leading the World. Congrats. Be Proud of Yourself. ! Bravo. !

[@anAngelisHard2find]

Danish, could you do a presentation on how you NOW live with your personal family dynamic ? I am so interested to learn how you managed it to have a normal life.

[@endorphinrider62]

"Merchants of chaos"...Very well said.

[@Himandmeable]

Their is hope through Jesus . Praying & sometimes fasting 4 them , & may God bless us all , Amen ! ! !

[@amberpatton7923]

My ex would legit beat me down for hours at a time. And then would tell me he loved me. Then he would get mad all over again when I wouldn't say it back to him.

[@seameology]

🎯. This is why I walked out and went no contact. Never told him I was leaving. Because, he never let me get one word in edgewise. Why would he listen to me if I said I was leaving?

[@karenlynch8348]

Mine causes chaos by moodiness- gossips behind my back to my family, to his family to his work

[@rellicoverdale]

Danish, I have to thankyou for these videos, I've been out of a toxic relationship with a narcissist for since January and I'm now in therapy because of him. I can only now go out in public by myself without freaking out

[@aparna1170]

yes chaos is them. walking talking behaving chaos. Creating restlessness and confusion in others. That is their entire personality. Beauty is they made us see them as desirable

[@JohnSmith-cf4gn]

I'm old now but I had perfect parents. Not kidding, honest born again Christians who treated us good. My sister has been evil since childhood, which is rare. She is a narcissist 100%. She forgives nobody for anything though she says that we must forgive our enemies. She pretends to be a Christian, which she never was. She has stole from us many times. I have never understood how she got so evil.

[@seameology]

Everyone has freedom of choice.

[@anAngelisHard2find]

I know the exhaustion that you describe. and the endless hours, days, weeks that you are trying to figure it out....thinking it's normality you are dealing with until one day you understand you are dealing with pathological psychopathy, un medicated, un diagnosed........ interpersonal living hell for those of us who are regular humans......I am very sorry that you endured this in your family too. It provided the stimulus for this grand career that you now have.

[@ErinH8811]

Thank you for sharing your personal experiences. I'm sorry your parents weren't there for you. I believe that's the worst thing a person can go through. But at least we get to benefit from it because it made you strong & wise & thank you for helping others!

[@anAngelisHard2find]

BRILLIANT INFORMATION PRESENTED DANISH. SO SO ACCURATE. Your work is truly so truthful. Thank you for educating us on the elements of their psychopathy. I have three of them in my family. It's a living hell.

[@christopherleubner6633]

Narcicist discard plus abuse of the legal system can utterly destroy a life with no legal means of recourse and limited options for recovery 💀

[@flowergirl-yz3ki]

Thank you for sharing the example from your own life regarding your Mother & the silent treatment.

[@hestervanrooy]

Thank you Danish for SO many useful, informative and professional information!🌟

[@dorothywalker5411]

Danish you are a blessing to so many! Your a gift.

[@kimpage728]

I feel so sickened by witnessing my Narcissist aunt destroy her so called best friend that invested her love and trust in her. It's made me furious and sick.

[@firesidechat7191]

Children abused are dangerous as an adult

[@LW-mq1zl]

Disagree with your blanket statement. I grew up with two narc parents who perpetrated *every* type of abuse onto me. I am a kind, compassionate empath who cares deeply about the people around me and strangers as well. The biggest lesson I learned from my abusers is who not to be as a person. Your comment is an insult to all who were abused as children.

[@sirishasiri1828]

Thank you for giving us clarity sir many things have cleared for me sir you opened my eyes sir🙏🙏

[@melissageorge1199]

Narcissists basically want to be God to those around them

[@rinisusilowati848]

😭yes,exactly right.that is first the years experiance i was with him.

[@pamelamax9443]

Every holiday season is ruined. It starts around November 1st, weeks before Thanksgiving and Christmas are always tense. I lose the Christmas spirit by December 10th every year. Today I almost took all Christmas decorations down. He could care less. It would make him feel better about himself if I did.

[@tammyfitzgerald5336]

Run never see them again ❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@TheGreatPretender89]

My FIL makes everything about him. My MIL gives the silent treatment and pours when she is unhappy. Both turn everything into how they are the victim. It’s never someone else

[@Dr.ShaziaHanif]

Very informative respected speaker!

[@matthewwozniak9138]

I do my best to see heaven all around me. I have no time for someone elses hell. You can only lead a horse to water, you can not make the horse drink. Just do your best when dealing with the haters, they will intentionally try to set you off. Don't react, that's what they want, cut off their supply at the source. Gray rock if your unable to discard the narcissist. You can stay in a relationship, but you don't have to give in to the narcissist. Hopefully some day they'll figure it out before it's too late.

[@idagirl814]

I always imagine Pigpen walking around with a cloud of dust. That's the narcissist with their chaos swirling around them all the time.

[@vikkara2043]

He would get me angry and worked up and emotionally abuse me and turn around and laugh at me when I was going crazy! Then he would say look, look at you, your nuts! He was such a monster 😢

[@lee-annepoirier5843]

Thank you very much that was so informative

[@sixtysense]

Great video 💯💯💯 all exactly like that.

[@dr.spencerreid2991]

This is one of the most helpful video of your extremely helpful video!! I cannot thankyiu enough danish

[@sharnelgezwint3990]

They will also ignore you dismiss you when you want to communicate..they don't communicate, heavy silent treatment than they want sex...no other interactions only sex😮 that after saying I am not worthy of being protected infront of our children than threatening to divorce because he don't get sex...we communicate about nothing...we co-exist..the creating chaos and turning around and sleeping is the ultimate. When I am emotional and crying he wants to have sex😮 who does that? No closure, no solutions..They just drain you emotionally...the covert narcissist is the worst.

[@CesarNostradamus-wj9uq]

My mom is a covert narcissist and dad was also malignant narcissist like my uncle Peter and brother John. it’s been hell my entire life when I am just trying to be happy.

[@cathyjackson1150]

This is so true..thankyou

[@sangitadey8298]

My vampire mother is 2 in 1. She is both covert malignant narcissist and covert narcissist . She plays both the roles at different times.

[@cherylthompson2731]

Thank you for sharing.

[@tabithab33]

After a lifetime, they don’t even have to do anything… they just keep with their cycle while using your children instead so you feel helpless and “obey”😣 if you are aware now.

[@anAngelisHard2find]

malicious malignant, aggressive, arguments that don't end, the debts you can never pay...the perceptions of error....if you breathe in and you breathe out, you are still doing something that is insufficient to them

[@redefinedliving5974]

Thanks this is very enlightening!