The Sinister Reason Why a Narcissist Gives You Gifts

[@EarthborneArt]

They give you gifts so that they can use them against you by saying, "look at everything I've done for you!"

[@AngelsWalk]

YES!!!!!

[@diamondonpurpose9145]

Exactly what was done to me

[@4freethinking]

They can assassinate your character, through smear campaigns, and arrange all kinds of abuses committed by bandwagon jumping puppets.

[@waarrhwj123]

It depends on a situation. I know someone love language is gift giving. Sometimes people say those words when they did everything they can to someone and that person still took them for granted.

[@rickwhite5206]

Your discussion may be more about the wealthy overt narc. My experience with a covert, stingy, miserly, narc. is more along the lines of no matter who they are gifting, they walk through their house to find something they no longer like nor desire, and then they wrap it big deal in gift paper, ribbons, and a gift bag, and make a big deal when they present it to you. I even had the idiot once print 3 black and white pictures on his home computer and printer, and hand them to me, ( cheap, cheap, cheap) not even willing to Goodwill frame them. LOL, went no contact on him, he stalked me for 5 years, before moving on to new supply. Pray for THAT person.

[@fingerscrossed2453]

Do not accept a single thing from them. They will give you wat you didn't ask for. The gift is an exchange for your soul. They think they own you. They think you owe them. Get away, before it's too late.

[@vacationeyes6430]

Any Narc who gives you gifts, wants something back from you inevitably.

[@shanellem6310]

Facts! 💯

[@dakoderii4221]

Just like people who make a deal with the mafia.

[@ladennayoung2939]

Yes.

[@smusicluv]

The things they do for "nothing in return " will become debts the minute you don't behave the way they want you to. And those debts are never paid.

[@janedoe5229]

My friend got a boyfriend who was rich and giving. He bought her a car, a motorcycle, and a boat (they lived in a marina). He said she could quit her job because he would take care of her forever, and it was "just like being married". But they were not married. When she was hooked, he started the narcissist abuse. She said he even picked a fight with her for which way she stirred her coffee, until she ran out of the house crying. She finally left him. He only let her take her clothes. The car, the motorcycle and the boat were all in his name. And of course, since they were not married, he didn't have to give her a dime, or support her, even though he made her quit her job and they were together for 13 years. She moved in with me. She had nothing. (I never could stand him).

[@funkycoldmedina1207]

Your the kind of friend people hope to have in life. Genuine friendship is another thing I believe is rare to find. I have two best friends one since 3 grade & the other since 15 yrs ago. I would do anything for them both the minute they needed me.

[@ShadowJerker-st3lj]

I literally just went through this. A 9 year relationship, I lost everything even my credit. When he kicked me out to a homeless shelter his mom came out and it got 10x worse. He told me all the bills I could pay. When his mom bought me “gifts” it was always for his house. I never got anything I asked for, like a 20$ vinyl. EVERYTHING was for his house. They’re evil people. If your friend is feeling like me I’m praying for her.

[@redefinedliving5974]

Shes lucky to have you. Hope you take care of her q

[@undercoverbird8592]

Wow. I was actually married for 18 years and still have now to divorce my husband. I did leave him 3 years ago and we share the kids. I have not asked him for ANY money nor child support and stayed poor just so he can’t say I’m trying to take his money. Nope. Even went on food stamps for a few months. I got a new car and I make the payments and he was pissed that I finally have a decent car to get our kids around. Ugh. He is finished because now our kids don’t even know any to see him.

[@sararichardson737]

I’m in the same shit yet without the friend.

[@annekimani8859]

The most scariest thing for me is that no one will ever believe you when you tell of their actions unless you've gone through it 😭 Whether family or friends nobody will ever believe your side of story 😭

[@smusicluv]

You are so correct. You will look like the villain

[@annekimani8859]

@@smusicluv sure.. they'll make sure you are the crazy one and evil one

[@realitylifesholevlogs7322]

Yes it's true I experience in narcissist ic boyfriend

[@KOdrani143]

Oh this is 1000% true. The scariest thing is that your own friends and family will start doubting you. They thought I was having a good time with my ex Narc husband but all of that was pretense and fake. When the devil cannot reach you, he sends a Narcissist.

[@elizabethgrayson721]

This is so very true,and hurts so much to have no one not family,not friends,no one believe u is a whole other level

[@Nothingbutlovehere369]

They only give to get, and for public recognition, and to create fun for themSELVES. It’s ALWAYS about them. Always.

[@silverwolf2666]

Absolutely accurate. The Narc ex was very charming, acted like a rescuer in the beginning. He'd buy gifts,not just for me but for my family. But over time, I realized that every gift, favor, vacation,etc was a transaction that he would use as later to leverage obedience and compliance to any ridiculous demand that he had. Sadly, it took me over 3 decades to stop playing his game.

[@delf5724]

Waoooo some of us must be lucky and blessed to get out after 1 decade ..stay strong

[@KAT-wo1js]

Yes! The same happened to me. He would also tally up all he'd done when I reacted to something he'd done wrong to me, and things he should have apoligized and been accountable for. Instead of apologizing, he"d blame me and start talking about all he'd done for me. In the end, when I'd had enough, he took all the furniture, tv, and the engagement ring and left me on the floor with mattresses. He went back to live in one of his houses, and thank God my name was on the place where we lived together.

[@gailhall6283]

So, what happened with your father, Danish? Did you repay him with interest? Or did you cut ties with him altogether? What happened after he dropped that bomb on you? He must have loved the look of shock on your face.😮

[@SomeBuddy777]

For Control. They are not just gifting you something. Gifts come from the heart. They are initiating the Obligation Clause. "YOU OWE ME" 😈 But what they won't say aloud is, "I now own you" 👹

[@warriormom5843]

Extreme cognitive dissonance, bait and switch, hook and release, wolf in sheep’s clothing NARC horror story!

[@shivaferasat]

I know some people who didn’t even pay for their children’s education, and it was all paid by loans, but still saw their adult children as a future investment, and as an RRSP plan for their retirement!

[@moonstone4684]

Yeeeessss!! Sales people use this tactic! They present you with a gift, to create the illusion of "obligation". To get your business. Because most people don't feel right about accepting a gift without reciprocation. Altruistic narcs do this to secure your supply, then treat you like dirt, and have you feel obligated to stay anyway. They'll hold it over you too, even though you never asked for their gifts. They'll still call you a "user" and tell you how ungrateful you are. In the end, when it's over, just consider those things they did, as payment for enduring torture. Honestly, there's no amount of money that can sufficiently reward you for the toxic shit you had to put up with.

[@CoachCreesh]

The WARLOCK was giving and giving and giving because he was cursing all the gifts and presenting them to me😡 Their goal is to curse and ruin your entire life🤦🏾‍♀️ They're truly DEMONS 😈 😈 😈

[@Razzistar87]

My sister did this to me. I'm packing up to moveing out. I'm going to be homeless but I would rather be homeless than live with her abuse anymore. I really appreciate your videos Danish! 💗

[@PotHeadDegree]

I hope you are well on your journey.

[@friednoodles666]

I hope you are in a safer place now. I chose a year of homelessness over a sister in law abusing me like that anymore. homelessness is hard, but worth it in the end.

[@elijahasiso287]

Homeless became your precious freedom

[@LBmerryxmas]

Its the love bomb. Dont be bought. Or take the gifts and run.

[@AngelsWalk]

My ex husband always bought me expensive gifts. We didn’t have the money and I would ask not to spend the money. He said to me “when someone asks you what I got you for your birthday/Christmas and so on, you show them it” I realized it was all about how he looked, not giving me things from his heart.

[@RhondaPorter-y1p]

When I divorced the narc I was married to for 25 years, I said- life is too short for this meanness. I will be happy before I die!!! I decided I would rather have little with peace, than have plenty with strife.

[@irenahabe2855]

💪💪💛

[@Mnjz-7]

My narcissist mom does that!! You are right, it is bait! Thank you ❤

[@steffe9051]

same . how do you deal even if i refuse she just keep bringing stuff in my home

[@mustbeheard9834]

My mother who never treated me well... Watched me doing a short recovery from surgery. I was so happy as I begin to think wow! She does care she's growing out of her evil immaturity! Turns out she had no money for rent! I gave her, her rent money, and less than half an hour later she was gone. And she never called to check up on me!

[@yathome5596]

They give you things as a form of ownership

[@samsamed2370]

The narcissistic personality puts poison in the gift for its victim. Once you take the gift, you indirectly agree to give more and more times, and if you don’t, the punishment will be remorse and guilt. With time, you start giving as much as you can just to prove to the narcissist the opposite, but here the victim has fallen. In the trap, therefore, a person must be aware of what is conditional and not conditional gift, and not accept everything that is given to him

[@tubo1639]

They are one of the most mean, cruel types of people!!!

[@VirginiaButler-px1uw]

They also give you gifts, not to make you happy, but to show "the world" what a giving person they are. Then if you do decide to share how narcissistic person is, people don't believe you..."how can you say that? Look how they have helped you, look at all they've given you!".

[@susanfromthemountains1754]

You said it exactly like it is. I wish we'd have had Utube and your channel available to us 40 years ago when my husband and I were newly married. But better late than never. It's so good to finally be connected with your channel. The Lord bless you.

[@MissG8340]

Makes it hard to think that people are genuine nice is there always a hidden agenda

[@tihana13]

You just described my whole life with my parents... 😢

[@gacha._.kiki1310]

My ex narcissist bought gifts constantly for me. He got my kids things they wanted only to take it away as "punishment" later just to prove he has the power. When I realized what was happening I stopped including him in Christmas so he'd buy himself lavish gifts and wrap them for himself 😂 we paid no attention to him. Everyone on the outside never saw his bad behavior, they only saw what he wanted them to see. But that's ok I know the truth and it's my life I saved myself and my kids from his torment and now he's a lonely old man.

[@LoveSource1111]

I love Danish. He is really helping me through my trauma. My ex says that he does love me by the things he did and gave me. It was all about control. If you are with a high range narcissist, they have to have control over you. He controlled every aspect of my life. Thanks to this channel, Im so much more aware of NPD.

[@cynthiahassan9839]

Agree am with you

[@sitascott8446]

He gave me such wonderful gifts, at first! It was impossible to believe (later) that they were the same person.

[@spaideman7850]

my narc mom loves to give out 'gifts' that will remind you of her. all my relatives are afraid of her 'gifts'.

[@irenahabe2855]

😂

[@angeleyes2]

Give u something u don't even like just to make u go thru the disappointment

[@charismatic_]

Wow this is exactly how my ex was. Now I just see him for who he is,a weak person who will probably die alone once people get to really know who he is.

[@jhavajoe3792]

I've seen the gift giver in action. Gives generously to everyone, like a glad handing politician. The Narc revealed himself by being complimenting then nastily critical in a repeated pattern. I learned a big lesson- some gifts are given from the heart, while Narc gifts have strings attached. Beware the Narcs bearing gifts.

[@thekeystoheaven]

Thank you 🙏🏻 It was so confusing. He bought me beautiful things while he betrayed me with multiple women behind my back. 😢 It’s so evil. And they know exactly what they are doing.

[@cleocatra9324]

Once you give a gift it’s not yours anymore and you gave no right to it. If you have strings attached don’t give gifts!! My grandma used to say, if I give you a gold necklace you can wear it sell it or throw it to the hogs, it’s no longer mine 🤷‍♀️.

[@shawnmandrones8360]

Amazing wise woman!

[@cleocatra9324]

@@shawnmandrones8360 my grandma was pretty cool thank you 😊

[@SlumberBear2k]

I can see you had a similar experience with your father to me. Everyone tells me how spoiled and ungrateful I am and how I had everything handed to me, but the reality is that he made my college experience a miserable living hell and for whatever reason did everything he could to try to get me to drop out.

[@SkyProStudio]

I graduated from nursing with honors. I was so happy to make my father proud. But he said without my money, you are nothing, and once you get the job, return it with interest.

[@englishteacher3253]

Excellent! The narcissist's enemy is his spouse and children. The narcissist is the embodiment of hypocrisy. No narcissist expert has as brilliant an understanding of narcissists as you do!

[@4freethinking]

My therapist defined a surgeon who had operated on me as having been chosen by God as my predestined soulmate. My life and my children's lives were made into an ongoing horror. My extended family members lives were turned into a horror. Religion was used to shield the abusers - the covert narcissists, and used to persecute my entire family and me. Healthcare, with the help of religion, has been used together to attempt to crucify my family and me. Danish, you have such great understanding of the narcissist, and the cruel schemes. My eyes often fill with tears when I watch your videos, and hear all you say. My life has been taken from me. My children's lives filled with suffering. The combined powers of a therapist, a surgeon, his son who was practicing as a prosecutor, their influence over departments and agencies, all too much for me to ever feel safe to physically access any healthcare services of any kind ever again. Tortured.

[@erikavaleries]

Wow this feels like my life - hugs

[@4freethinking]

@@erikavaleries I watch International Cult Studies videos, Theramin Trees videos, Danish Bashir, Dr. Les Carter, and more to survive. My therapist used God and a mixed bag of social norms, and what people normally do, and literally took me to wondering what it was I was supposed to be learning. She even once told me, "People can be driven insane with religion." She literally betrayed confidentiality laws, and assisted a smear campaign, and assisted the surgeon she brainwashed me to continue tolerating abuses he was subjecting me to, telling me, "Don't listen to his words! Look at his actions! You have power in this relationship!" When she learned he harmed me physically, she and the surgeon were assisted with labeling me as a sinner, a criminal, and the public hospital where they both practiced, emailed my picture out to churches, and were allowed to smear my character to the Christian public. A psychiatrist has been helping me to survive for the last six years. She tells me that everything healthcare providers have supplied/committed is criminal, unethical, immoral, cruel, and unconstitutional. No justice, however.

[@yathome5596]

@@4freethinking I have two words for you: LAW SUIT! What you are saying they have done and are doing is horrific and illegal!

[@4freethinking]

@@yathome5596 The surgeon and his son who is an attorney, were assisted by the hospital chaplains, and the therapist who brainwashed me, and my character was assassinated to entire medical communities, legal communities, and religious communities. Could not find legal representation from anywhere. I believe I had walked into a cult like organization when I sought therapy at the guidance counseling services that were housed by the local (at that time) public hospital. My therapist had very matter of factly told me, "All the professionals are having affairs. Boys will be boys, and girls will be girls. The psychiatrists are as crazy as loons." I was driven into such extreme spiritual pain, psychological pain, emotional pain that it is an indefinable agony. I was completely confused about God, completely confused about what I was supposed to be learning, was caused to wonder why God wanted me to suffer. Just as the priests were shielded, all the professionals were, while my entire family and I were subjected to scapegoating, and the religious public became our courtroom, unconstitutionally denying legal representation. Endangered is to say the least.

[@4freethinking]

Furthermore, the public hospital used their power to rename the street that runs alongside their hospital front. The street's sidewalk I had entered their building from, directly into their mental health services offices, wherein I was brainwashed with religious messages and social norms combinations, changed the street name from W. 13Th Street to the surgeon's name, giving him high honor. He had bodily harmed me, assisted by therapy services, and I and my family were trashed, and in dire danger. Knowing I was betrayed through confidentiality breaches, being subjected to terroristic attacks, the limited, tainted information supplied to the public, inspired the public to believe we deserved every brutality that was gleefully doted put to us.😢

[@user-db2fb1db1m]

They have a book that even uses similar words !!! 😱

[@mcuk88]

I got lots of gifts at first. Couldn’t support me emotionally so bought me things. Had no empathy or soul so I guess faking it worked for a while.

[@LongIslandNY-op8su]

ABSOLUTELY ACCURATE, my ex Always gave me gifts & treated me to expensive restaurants. Then when we married he immediately became SO cruel. I’ve since divorced him Thank God! The trauma was devastating to say the least but I’ve moved on. Good luck to all those going through this pain.

[@irenahabe2855]

🤗

[@sloanmagnum5009]

My ex narc would spend tons of money on everything but conveniently she would expect something in return such as obedience and total control of me or to make excuses to where she could do questionable things because she bought stuff. I didnt even need her money or her stuff, she would do all this in order to be in control and abusive.

[@mayk89]

"How they prepare you for the unimaginable". 👏

[@thephilosophicalpugilist]

A narcissist is a modern day Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.

[@angelakeely5859]

They give gifts so they can continually use you for the duration of the relationship with them, and so that you will continually be their "Personal Slave" for the duration of the relationship, they also do it so that you then feel obliged and obligated to help them and give them Supply 😏😈🚩🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️

[@lennie1703]

If you come from a culture where giving your best hospitality and gifts to relative strangers is encouraged and indeed prided on, then being the recipient doesn't feel alarming. I accepted it as a kindness and courtesy, at face value. But, as you rightly said, it was not a gift but an investment which I would always have to repay. This has happened more than once and always really awkward and embarrassing cutting of ties followed. I can't be trapped!!

[@shanellem6310]

Everything with a narc is transactional, including gifts. Took me awhile to peep game; but, once I did, I stopped accepting gifts from only him. If anyone questioned me about it, I would let them know that his gifts come with strings attached even if the attachment wasn't previously discussed.

[@philcarr7015]

I've experienced this, too. My brother always tried to give me something but I wouldn't let him. This was instinctive because I really wasn't sure what he was up to, I just new something wasn't right.

[@RB-jq6gh]

It's all about getting the prey onto the spider's web🕸🕷

[@shelleyd9910]

They even go to lots of trouble picking the perfect gift because they know you will tell others and they will get the validation.

[@jacquelinegrace3]

😮 wow! Thank you!! My eyes are wide open now! Holy crap. All the jewelry. The little hello Kitty encouragement that I’m not too old to enjoy her… all to secure my attachment to him? ( to pay our mortgage)

[@iamlunalane]

Gifts became a trigger for me, my relationship with a narcissist begins very early. So, any form of gifts that came with expectations. This has also had an impact on the way I see money. I was gaslit to eventually believe I cannot be trusted with it, and this has made a negative impact on the way I value my own self, but it has improved since I began researching narcissists. All my old memories came rushing back completely unexpectedly all because I became a mother 3 years ago. I could hear my parents responses in my mind as I attempted the deep waters of parenthood 😅it has all been for the greatest good to have myself question their ways vs mine. Let the healing continue ❤

[@LN-pm5yl]

I met someone 2 weeks before my birthday. He wanted to take me shopping to celebrate. I said I don’t accept gifts from people I don’t know well, and Im not spending my birthday with a practical stranger! He got mad and exposed himself as a narcissist bc he absolutely hated my boundaries. #blocked

[@irenahabe2855]

💪

[@CristineTot]

Sounds like my narcissistic mother. If the person she wanted to give gifts to will try not to accept, she will insist forcefully and even get offended. So, the person had no choice but to accept the gifts. Then when that person does the slightest wrong, she'll turn into a monster and then throw all the "gifts" right into their face.

[@emmanuelpower2439]

I did not get lavish gifts, but endless streams of gifts and things and whatnot... to manipulate me. To make me perceive them as someone so incredibly generous, and then they turned that against me. I was "arrogant" and "ungrateful" for all of this... pfff.

[@injoyable]

My ex narc gives gifts when he tries to hoover, I donate them and he gets soo angry 🤣🤣. Never gave gifts during the relationship but wants to now?!!Nope.

[@irenahabe2855]

😂

[@sonjacurry4473]

My mother would never help me when I was raising my children. Their came a time I was in a bad car accident. My children are now grown & living far away. She came to my rescue. My husband had to go back to work so she had me stay with her until my broken neck & fractured ribs healed. I now know that kindness came with a price. She made sure everyone knew how she took me in & what a wonderful caring mother she was. Now every time she beckons ,she expects me to immediately jump. If I am not able to comply with her time table, I'm guilted for what she did for me 14 years ago. Then the silent treatment followed by anger if I don't stop & run.

[@Aprayerfortheloney]

I feel for you I was in a similar position,I I had heart surgery and my husband (against my wishes) arranged for my mother (whom I was estranged from) to come and look after me so he could work Well great because that created tension from the outset, because I knew she wouldn't do anything altruistic from previous experience and if she did it would come with a big price/payback and sure enough she couldn't keep the act for long.... She treated the house like an extension of herself, had no boundaries (going out getting drunk, looking for men on the internet), stealing money from me, writing long letters about how she was the victim and not welcome (wonder why huh!), rearranging my furniture one day when we were out and throwing out my favourite piece from an antique shop without asking, oh and never looking after the kids, also using us to escape from her last relationship and basically moving herself into my home on what she thought was a permanent basis, expecting me to look after her indefinitely 😮 Honest to god most times I was just confined to my room it was like something out of the movie Misery and she was the Kathy Bates character! Give em an inch and they'll take a mile, so I'm not interested in playing out her version of Munchausen by proxy, with her leeching of me forever more because in her mind I am indebted to her (karma? That she would create). So in the end I finally plucked up the courage to go to a therapist and ask for advice and I managed to find my voice and be assertive and give her notice to leave because her so called care was actually making me ill with stress and if I continued I was going to have a breakdown. We are survivors, we are strong we have been through a lot but don't let her define the relationship to her advantage and use you or guilt trip you that's not love that's just trying to take advantage, I know it's difficult (my mother is still trying to hoover me back in because she lost her supply) but we deserve to be with people who respect us and our boundaries. You were not born to be a doormat or servant, someone who they can pull the strings with, a web of created co dependency or false obligation, don't fall for it because it will never end, I know I had to cut mine out of my life for good after that, so I know what they are capable of (extreme manipulation and selfishness) and you don't have to deal with that if you don't want to Relationships are supposed to be reciprocal not transactions, you deserve better and I hope you get it, good luck with everything, stay strong be yourself and do what you think is best , love ❤

[@JoannA-sweetly]

When I met the last narcissist before learning all these details from all of you on KZbin, an important thing for me; I actually messaged the narc and said he must not be born of Adam’s race (an angel). BUT secretly I thought either he is a slick con or super nice. Boy was I right, A DEMON. Also without knowing all this, with my dad a narc - I always said I didn’t want to give children a demon for a father! ‼️🙏🏾

[@charityhouze647]

That's how they destroy you. When you question it you get put down while they are wearing their hyjackyl smirk.

[@MelodyT78]

all gifts ive gotten from my narc. have been gifts he would enjoy and have nothing to do with me personally. There have never seemed to be strings attached. it always kinda seemed like he gives gifts to appear normal because he knows thats what normall people do, as if he is prepared to answer in case he is asked. but I have noticed, when he gives gifts to others, its sure to be gifts I would have enjoyed and more personalized to me then to even them.

[@sharonhorwitz7903]

So confusing….he was so generous, now thanks to you, I see the truth. And a year later I’m still throwing things out. 😊

[@crankiemanx8423]

You are amazing & on point.this is what I have experienced all my life on & off by my parents,mostly my mom.but what happens is they torment you in private with nasty side remarks & call you ungrateful especially when you stick up for yourself when they play mind games.they make you feel obliged to always do things their way & make you feel like you can't survive without them because you are useless.that you needed their help.even if you didn't ask for it.often they will give random things to neighbours or friends who then see them as the kind little old people or old lady.but they dont see or hear the manipulative things they say to confuse you & damage your self esteem.thwy don't know how to offer genuine empathy or advice they only offer material/tangible things that can be noticed by others who will form a different opinion of them different to how you know them to truly be.everything they do is based on manipulation & to make themselves feel wanted & while because they are so empty in the inside.thwy long for people to feel grateful to them for things .

[@dianaalyssa8726]

Had an old friend that had a gift giving (grandiose) narcissist. I've mostly ended up with covert - malignant and overt.

[@mylegacytransformed]

🔥🔥🔥”They’re nothing but a demon in an angel’s disguise”-Danish Bashir🔥🔥🔥 Even when it’s not lavish gifts. It could be something as small as bringing donuts to the office. It’s to test to see who they can get over on and to use it against you later; also known as a “temperature check”; checking the temperament of the people in the room. Who’s going to be blinded by food and gifts and who’s not. The sheeple will say “it’s free food, I’m not worried about it”. Narc will later say: “look what I’ve done for you” “you were OK with me giving you things before”

[@laurawhite4118]

I hate getting gifts.i perfer to buy what I want if I need something.

[@nancylang4294]

Gifts? He bought me a used dream catcher off Kijiji. Full of someone else's nightmares. 😂

[@Dyane629]

😂😂

[@angelaapruzzese8347]

OMG WHAT THE FUCK THATS CRAZY 🤪 I HOPE ITS IN THE BIN 😂😂😂

[@nancylang4294]

@@angelaapruzzese8347 6 years in the past. Can't make this stuff up.

[@Delightfulbanyantreeofgod]

😮😢🤗✌️❤️🙏

[@cleocatra9324]

Dream catchers are not Christian if you’re Christian don’t have them they are pagan. Put your trust in God not a charm❤

[@privateprivate8366]

My mother never said those words. But it SURELY felt like she wanted every drop of blood it took to carry and give birth to us. And since she knew she wasn’t getting that, I had suspicions that she decided to go to her deathbed and take us with her. I’m the one who escaped.

[@mustbeheard9834]

They do this and they also give the worst gifts! Gifts that are ridiculous, gifts they wouldnt want themselves.

[@vijayacharya8561]

This is so true they utlereior motive behind the altruistic bheviour which becomes perfect facade. And the victims blindly obeys to to all their demands since they do such favors without you ask for them.

[@patriciabaez1012]

You are 💯 right everything you said happened to me, and now eight years later is a bad dream I’m planning my way out 😢

[@laurelmarshall6903]

Again, this was 'WHO' my father was. I just showed your video to my husband. I liked your discussion of "Cognitive Dissonance". I finally became aware that my daughter had told my younger sister (first; before she told me-[bc my daughter thought that I would not believe her...], that my Father (her Grandfather) had molested her from age 2 1/2 till about 7. When I first found this out about my daughter & my dad, it was about 2014-15. I could not believe my daughter (my father had 'groomed' me "well", unfortunately). My father, when accused; said that my daughter was a "liar"--which she actually HAD been, when she was a little girl. But I think now & after discussing his with my daughter I was totally oblivious to my father's nefarious intentions, as was my mother I think. All of this took so long to sort out. My father & mother would come over (driving 120 miles) several times a week to 'babysit' my young children for me, while my husband was at work. I also had been (conveniently [for my father]) mis-diagnosed with a 'Bi-Polar' condition (due to an earlier severe Head-Injury I'd had as a teenager, that 'mimicked Bi-Polar' & was put on a regimen of psych meds for about 20 yrs or so; which is why I was supposedly unable to care properly for my children. (My parents both believed that I was "unable" to care for my children & so that's why they came over to Babysit. I didn't see until just now how this "fit into my father's opportunistic little scheme" of molesting my daughter, right under everyone's nose. He seemed to magnanimous, so giving of his time, etc., etc. But this was all a ploy in order for my father to CONTROL the whole situation & 'get' what HE wanted to get from babysitting my daughter & her younger brother. I learned about this all too late, I feel. But I've worked hard to heal some of the major divisions this huge "betrayal" my father caused my family. Thank you for your assistance with the videos you provide.

[@AA-nx2jz]

Great explanation Danish and much needed topic. He celebrated my first wedding anniversary in a lavish hotel n spent thousands on me ,after a month he was abuzing me n with his rage he spat on my face .

[@timefoolery]

My narc mom was like this. She would give us things or help us out, but you better expect that you WILL be paying for it in some way. Like every time she wanted me to do something and I didn’t immediately hop to it, she’d whip out her list of gifts like she was Santa Claus and start rambling off what all she’d given me. The other side of this coin was that she never remembered things I’d given her and done for her, like the fact I saved her life once. Nope. That street only ran one way because she EXPECTED our gifts and help as her natural right in this world. We were just lucky that she didn’t often take us down memory lane to the house where her memories used to go to be modified into a story about her. I really need to get back into therapy. 😂

[@Ghettobank69]

Throw the Narcissist gifts away. That's negative energy. Do you really want to be reminded. Those gifts from the Narcissist are not sincere

[@meggo1325]

He was 53 and i was 28, every gift was some form of sexual clothing or expensive jewellery or heels or fur coats because he said he liked showing me off like a doll because it made him feel good to have a 'trophy wife'... before i met him i wore jeans and t shirts...he made me wear tight dresses and stockings and heels and fur coats and demanded i let him pay for lip fillers and fake eyelashes... he demanded i always looked as 'sexual as possible'.. He also had a massive porn addiction to girls that look like blow up dolls... i found that just before i made my escape

[@gabylopez6990]

My ex narc wanted to make me the same 😢

[@agiegovender5666]

Thank you. This makes total sense

[@maryamgutti]

I used to question any gift or favour from my ex..his last words to me were to pay back all he i nvestedin me

[@juncojansfaves4262]

This is one of the most helpful videos I've seen in three months spent on learning about narcissists! Thank you. I am also so grateful to two people who bravely told me that I was involved with one, which first led me down this incredible learning path....

[@gene978]

The narcissist I know in the past few years has no friends but me and he has never given anything to me except a birthday card and bragged about the card like it was a new car.

[@kJArtZ]

Your 💯 Right❤

[@smusicluv]

They do things to keep you compliant regardless of how they treat you. The guilt monging is exhausting. Took me YEARS to to come to terms with what was happening. Then I got MAD.

[@lisawells9905]

When I went no contact I gathered everything the narcissist had given me and returned them. I had never seen her so angry.

[@AM-uy4sb]

This is spot on.

[@tedphillips2501]

A true gift expects nothing in return to the giver, but the satisfaction of seeing how one's gift benefits the given. it is best to give anonymously.

[@maryams8062]

My life story with my ex narcissist husband..thank you so much 🙏🏾🙏🏾💯

[@utsavutsavv1092]

I never except her gift..and the one I did recived never used it 😊

[@tummyjoy8910]

yes.. true.. i can relate.. thank you for guiding narcissist victims..

[@linalg10]

Thankfully, I’m a Sigma Male. So the wonderful lavish gifts can’t be used as ‘leverage’ against me. Most gifts were rejected anyway bc they seem so random and unnecessary.

[@theresasutherly871]

It is a very confusing situation to get gifts from the Narcissistic person and then that turns into something else that not so good but being controlled ,suffocated I started calling that person my Warden not to his face but that's how I felt. I COULDNT go outside to do yard work with out him following me. I felt timed and when I went out or went shopping or made a extra stop after work I also felt that I was on his time clock

[@dZeNa.]

When I said he’s not honest & loyal, he’d answer: i am, i gave you money! One day before discard, he’d buy me gifts and parfume for Valentine’s Day. I always bought him everything and didn’t expect anything. I even waited a year & nothing happened after I said I’d like something romantic 😣

[@camellia8625]

They give to get.

[@GPDuchess]

With these types of narcissistic parents it's always a business venture for them; mom was like that and dad the grandiose type and I just realized i speak at past tense and they're still alive, goes to show, I suppose, how much i blocked them out of my heart; or is it mind, I'm not entirely sure

[@desertfox1273]

EXCELLENT....YOU HIT IT ON THE HEAD!!

[@delf5724]

Well done , well explained 💯💯💯💯

[@warewolf4760]

Take my advice. Don't accept gifts from people in general. Because you may not know yet that they are trying to manipulate you. My exgf lovebombed me with gifts. It's worse if you openly accept gifts from a narc. The narc doesn't give you gifts, it is a gift to themselves through you. It's usually used to guide you in a direction they want you to take.

[@thereugo8900]

Thank you, Danish for this video! This is so true!! Years of look what I've done for you and says then YOU treat me like this?!😮

[@elizabethdalisay-gq4yr]

Thanks for the terrific explaination, so horrible demonic narc.... Theys mastered, playing evil games...

[@Real2k25]

That what happen to me i didnt realize what exactly was goin on took a few months

[@marymoore3384]

Thank you so much. I can definitely relate to this. Little did your Dad understand he was educating you to finally see him for who he was.😊

[@rosettesionne9139]

And they will call you cruel and selfish for confronting and worse getting angry at them if they did things hurtful and they will regurgitate all of their helps on your face to make you feel guilty. It is because of things like that, that I have difficulty asking for help, I hate emotional blackmail.

[@bigmama2918]

Thank you !❤