Narcissism and Personality Type

[@TarzanHedgepeth]

I’m still blown away. This is the ONLY truly unbiased and informative and honest lecture on Narcissism on the entire internet.

[@remi_newhouse]

I as an ENTP exhibited a lot of behaviors of "oh my gosh the world is against me, im only gonna flock to the people that will help me and pity me for my pain" until one day i started to just love myself the way i felt like i was missing from other people. I did a lot of rejecting, picking and choosing who stays in my life just because it gave me some sense of control. I wasnt willing to listen to the people who actually had criticisms for me. It was indeed very lonely for a long long time, as said in the video. I just kept ramming into my own head thinking that nobody understands me and why i do certain things and feel a certain way. But there are people that do understand me, there are people in my life that can see a deeper part of myself that I've been hiding. I always felt like i had to put on a smile for the people around me, and laugh at every little thing they said just to make them feel better so maybe they can give me a little bit of what i wanted. But i wasn't doing the legitimate work on myself to acquire the social affirmations that i was so desperately seeking. I was indeed a very passive aggressive narcissist for a long time, and i just want to apologize to anyone who was on the receiving end of that behavior.

[@monisune]

As if I didn't love this channel enough! Thank you for this. I'm so glad about all the topics you are speaking up about. The misconceptions and stereotypes drive me up the wall! It goes along with everyone thinking they are INFJ, INFP, ENFJ because of the stereotypes and because it's so hard to for people to look at themselves objectively. They don't want to be associated with traits they see as less favorable.

[@CognitivePersonality]

Ahhh thanks so much for this comment! I have to admit, my own personal annoyance with these misconceptions is a big motivating factor behind these videos. Soon I'm going to set about painting 'S' types (a term I disagree with anyway) in a more positive (and fair) light!

[@EmmaLBartley]

My Ni authority can't but help (yeah and probably my own unconscious Fi-Si) going around these forums & trying to dispel these stereotypes to be hit with a stone wall of silence; unfortunately I don't think these misconceptions are going anywhere anytime soon, but we have to start somewhere! I'm seeing a lot of cognitively 'unhealthy' ISFPs identify with the behavioural manifestation of the INFJ for this reason. I like to call a spade a spade & say that apart from in popular vernacular the behavioural INFJ is a pseudo scientific construct. Thank God (although I'm an agnostic) for CPT!

[@-Altera-]

Would you be interested in exploring how low self-esteem/self-worth and related behaviors/cognitive patterns manifest in different types?

[@CognitivePersonality]

That's a very interesting topic - I'll absolutely be exploring this at some point!

[@peppylemon1717]

Oooh yes, that would be absolutely interesting!

[@TarzanHedgepeth]

This video is WONDERFUL. STINKING great job, Harry!!!! Edit to add: It is my actual prayer that as many people as possible watch this entire video. You were GIFTED this information, sir.

[@taydupreez8555]

This is an awesome video! Thank you, Harry! For a long time I was wondering how personality disorders would affect different types and how they represent themselves in reality. I agree with you wholeheartedly, every single person has the potential to display one or all of these forms of narcissism especially considering everyone has suffered the ill effects of lack of control in any given area of their lives at some point in time and I find that those who claim they haven't are likely in denial. I think the covert narcissism is far more dangerous because it is so insidious and difficult to recognize. From an ENTP vantage point I can see how we could be considered domineering, manipulative, prideful, and entitled especially since we crave recognition for our utility and intelligence/skill and have a tendency to dismiss people we consider less intelligent or incompatible or unable to provide us with anything new/exciting. And let us not forget trolling... I have been a victim of narcissistic abuse and have similarly displayed some of these traits in retaliation in the past, however I do believe that with brutal honesty towards one's self and an attempt at character growth that can change. We all have a choice if we are willing to remain victims or be victorious despite circumstances. And yes, I am very aware that it's easier said than done. But growth is a perpetual process that requires continued and conscious effort. From a counselor's vantage point, most (if not all) psychological traumas and disorders boil down to feelings of guilt and shame. Guilt at ones inability to enact change of one's circumstances or stand up against one's abuser. Shame for having allowed one's self to be in a position to be abused or for not having been savvy enough to maintain control etc. And the only way to recover is to be pragmatic about it - that yes, this happened - and to have empathy for yourself and look at ways to avoid a repition or similar situation in future, yet similarly not to allow the fear of being vulnerable set one down the path towards becoming the very person one wishes to avoid. I feel the suffering of others deeply and wish I could solve all the heartache and bring happiness. But I have found that happiness is something that needs to come from within and that for there to be any lasting result, a solution needs to be discovered from within as well. We all know the truth of our reality on an intrinsic level, it's simply a matter of 'listening' to the part of ourselves we often repress to 'know' where the solution lies. Annnnnnd I went off at a tangent Lmao! Great video, Harry! Thanks again and I look forward to the next!

[@CognitivePersonality]

Some very, very good insights here. Trauma does so often times go hand in hand with feelings of guilt and shame and there a myriad of different defence mechanisms this can lead to. Indeed, such covert narcissism passes far more easily under the radar of both host and recipient, all the while being the most excuseable - certainly not pleasant to be on either side of!

[@1chienandalou]

Really enjoyed your comment.

[@SpaceyFae]

I still believe that NPD in and of itself is a true disorder that is not easily treated. That is something begun early on, as a result of overindulgence, neglect, or trauma. I do agree with the, everyone has traits and it’s a spectrum. I believe the spectrum hits a point where it doesn’t really turn back though. I enjoy Dr. Ramani on KZbin as she breaks it all down into varying things as well. For myself, I tend toward the pride version. Isolating myself from society. As CS Josheph says, all social interaction is a form of manipulation. Manipulation in and of itself is not inherently “bad” or “evil”. I manipulate the door to open it, etc. I do find this ties back to understanding one another. If we all understood how our functions worked in each other, would we really ever, by in large, feel manipulated in the bad sense? Hurt people hurt, definitely. If we began to understand the hurt, how the person processes it, we could then better move forward where it is no longer seen as even necessarily a need to dip into narcissism. It’s taken myself awhile to accept a lot of this, I grew up with what I consider a narcissist. Abusive in many ways to include physical. In spite of all that, I realize that she was not likely born to be that way, that she likely suffered through her own traumas and this was the defense mechanism she took on. I do not excuse what she has done to us as her children, but I am more able to understand and allow a more neutral emotional outlook upon it. Some of my own first worries upon realizing what I had been dealing with and having the term narcissist available, was being incredibly worried that I myself was a narcissist. I quickly realized that nearly every human portrays these signs at some point, to some extent, in their lives. It also took me years to even acknowledge that this ever occurred to me. I didn’t want people to treat me differently based on my past. I became so worried about being her, that I pushed people away. They cannot hurt me, and I cannot hurt them, if we never even start. Always a work in progress. At the end of the day, no human is all bad, no human is all good. We are a mixture of everything that was, that is, and that will be.

[@CognitivePersonality]

Thanks for sharing this. I agree, such measures help us remain objective about what is actually occuring in front of us; I respect your standpoint :)

[@IAmThanSolo]

As an INFP and an enneagram 4 (who’s “sin” is envy), I did grow up feeling a sense of victimhood at the hands of the universe, surrendering to the “fact” that I will always experience unfairness and being defined by resentment toward other people who had it all together and were just the “lucky” ones who the universe favored and whose luck I would never share. And I would dip into emotional disregulation and share sob stories and in kind of a gross way enjoy the empathy that I would receive. Now in my 30’s, hopefully more matured but by no means having arrived, I quit commiserating at some point in my life because I saw how it not only disempowered me from my own personal agency, but I didn’t like that I was negatively affecting other people’s emotional state for the sake of (however unconsciously) receiving their care, sympathy, or pity. I’m now much more in control of my life, rejecting fatalism, and embracing my inherent (as it is inherent for every human being) ability to shape who I am, what I do, and what I can hope to achieve. It’s still hard not to envy “successful” people, but I don’t let that discourage my from just taking a leap of faith trying to achieve things for myself anymore. Now I am extremely hesitant to share what’s going wrong or has gone wrong in my life because it makes me really uncomfortable that I might be doing it for the sake of empathy, and now I might be to the opposite extreme of not reaching out in a healthy way when I do need help. I don’t *think* I’m a narcissist, but what if I am, or what if I used to be?

[@joshuastevens8390]

Very happy your having this challenging but insightful conversation!

[@CognitivePersonality]

Thank you - I love taking on challenges such as these!

[@alexandralenzinger8482]

This is the clearest video I’ve heard from you, I understood it all. Usually I have a hard time understanding your accent. But I love love love your videos. You have such great content. Thanks

[@CognitivePersonality]

Ah, that is interesting! Definitely want to work on the diction etc; thanks for the kind words :)

[@Ryuzaki8654]

As far as I know, DSM has particular diagnostic criteria for NPD. And one has to fulfil at least 55% of them to be considered having NPD. Narcissistic traits and disorder are entirely different things. In fact, a healthy amount of narcissism is necessary to deal with daily life. As you said, every personality disorder is on a spectrum and one person cannot just have NPD. There is always an overlapping of other PD issues. I've also tried to understand it through the cognitive framework and yes, I found out nobody is immune to narcissism or being a victim of narcissistic abuse. In therapy, it is nearly impossible to make a person admit that they have NPD. On the other hand, Borderline patients do go to treatment (the most stigmatised disorder) who are often a by-product of narcissistic parental abuse and they themselves think they are the narcissist. I have seen people using the 4 letter codes use as a tool to boast about their intelligence and claim to be rare individuals. Yes, it is true to point at others is easy instead of looking at yourself is tough because nobody wants to face their shadow. People with NPD cannot introspect or reflect. Those who reflect and recognise they have inherited traits do not have NPD. They are often a highly empathetic individual who has a choice. Otherwise "the terrified becomes terrifying". To understand a narcissist, the cognitive functions are not really enough since there are many idiosyncratic and situational factors involved. In conclusion, one can write their own narrative of life that doesn't include hurting others.

[@FlowState]

Excellent video! I felt called right out at 0:40 😅 but it was cool because it made me actively listen to the video instead of passively listen from my tower of non-narcissism. Thanks for calling out the people who identify as victims too. Some of those forums are so self important and... narcissistic... that it's absurd to behold. Keep up the good shit

[@ajaywankhede1905]

It's just some stupid enfp who spread all these nonsense about narcissistic personality disorder.like " narcissist want reaction" and all that bullshit.there are many ENFP chicks who spread misinformation on this disorder.

[@CognitivePersonality]

Hah, I'm glad I threw that one out there early in the video - glad you enjoyed it! Yes that paradox has always annoyed me, and ultimately such behaviour is self-defeating.. much like the narcissism it can so often lead to. Cheers!

[@EmmaLBartley]

Ironically may own visceral reaction to people with a victim complex has helped me in my own recovery from narcissistic abuse; I could see why I was having that visceral reaction as it's a part of me I detest which I don't want to fully manifest in my own reality...I'd like to call it 'catching it early'!

[@wheredowegofromhere86]

Great last few minutes, like ugh my dude soooo good at bringing it all together at the end. Cuz yes it’s complicated 😢😮😅😊

[@jackalantlers]

i am constantly fluctuating between being narcissistic and self loathing 😭😭 constant struggle for balance

[@moonlightrockgirl181]

I‘m with you on this one. I don’t know if it is self loathing for me rather than shame and embarrassment for my behavior. Wanting to be more open and accepting and secure and trusting. And not knowing how to get there. Also tired of constantly seeing myself as an a**hole.

[@kailanGoreng]

ENFP as a narcissiste can be pretty scary... when thinking about it...

[@myelectioneering]

Really interesting video, especially how you categorise narcissism across four categories (dominant to oppositional) towards the end of the video. It's challenging to understand what the motivation of the manipulation might be, which is important in order to correctly assess an individual. Not all manipulation is bad, not that you're suggesting it is, but I think it's worth highlighting this - just like not all perceived abuse is abuse. I enjoyed and appreciated your recognition of the oversimplification of the vilification of narcissistic behaviour which often lacks compassion and understanding. Thank you for the video, very cool. I would also like to add that whilst narcissistic behaviour exists across a broad spectrum, this is quite different from Narcissistic personality disorder - this to me is an important distinction to make when using the terminology.

[@CognitivePersonality]

Thank you for the well considered comment! Indeed NPD is a blend of narcissism with various sociopathic behavioural traits - the insecurity remains the same, but NPD certainly implies an order of magnitude alongside a certain level of ruthlessness. I also agree that manipulation itself is not necessarily narcissistic in nature - prolonged exposure is often necessary to perceive a driving insecurity.

[@ben.ny_si.ms2000]

Yes thank you for talking about the victim complex of narcissism! It’s hard to see sometimes, particularly if you care about the person and they are generally quite sweet, but I would argue that long term it can be even more harmful than the “default” narcissism. I’ve noticed narcissistic tendencies in myself before, and sometimes wonder why no one else seems to catch them when I am actively aware of them, even if I don’t like them and am trying to change and grow from them. I’ve also noticed this in others, particularly the dominant feeling types, and it’s incredibly frustrating and annoying, since this victim complex also makes them so much more sensitive to criticism. -INFJ

[@EmmaLBartley]

I'd agree with you as a cognitive ENFJ that the particular brand of narcissism we can exhibit (albeit on a spectrum) can be a sensitivity towards criticism. Perhaps I'm being biased here due to the amount of time I've spent on supposed INFJs forums who are predominantly ISFPs cognitively speaking, but the 'woe is me' in the unhealthy variants tends to me more prevalent. However, this is probably owing to the fact that their pain has an opportunity to be externalised through such forums. Curiously, I have been the victim of narcissistic abuse from a cognitive ISTP (I was stalked for about a year) & I do catch myself sometimes, or at least have done, embodying some of the traits. Wish me luck; it's certainly not the person I want to be for myself or other people! Ironically it peaves me off when people think the world owes them favour; we've got to make the best of what we have & that starts with the self at ground zero 😊

[@michaelyoung6050]

The circle of life for narcissism ........great video!

[@CognitivePersonality]

Indeed! Thank you :)

[@notthatvashti8127]

Great explanation of the manifestations of narcissism and possible causes of it. I appreciate your take on having a sort of empathy for them, and the thought of them using their "power" as a defense mechanism. I suppose anyone could be susceptible to becoming narcissistic, I am not leaning toward any one personality type. My only concern would be making a justification for anyone who consciously uses manipulation and trickery to make themselves feel better. I personally would not want them in my life based on the way they treat people and the way they influence others to treat people. Super video though!

[@CognitivePersonality]

Thank you! I do think it's important to acknowledge the cause of any given disorder, but doing so is rather to illuminate the process by which a victim can become a perpetrator more than it is to in any way justify deeply insecure and self-destructive behaviour. Cheers :)

[@notthatvashti8127]

@@CognitivePersonality 🙏

[@Starlightndust]

I've been typed as ENTJ over last 20 years and still am last time I retook the test. I kept doing and redoing the Myers test. I grew up with a Narcissist mum, and two Narc sisters. I became Codependent as a result of her abuse in my childhood. I'm healing now. I became a workaholic in my early teens and adulthood. I've been healing for last 10 years. I am learning how to feel and express my feelings. It's hard. I've stopped being controlling and fixing people's problem's. There are two types of, the Narcissists. The classic overt, loud, dominating Narcissist. This is the Classic Narcissist. The other type is the Covert Narcissist. They are the quiet, martyr, victim and saintly fake type. Not all Narcissists are in the E*TJ group. Yes, you're right, it's a myth.

[@fathead8933]

I’m also an ENTJ. I’m fairly certain you’re on target with the codependency. The easiest way for a narcissist to “punish you” is disappear. Well if you’re a kid that’s neglect. This creates the desire to outperform in a desire to reacquire the attention. I kinda believe you kinda have to have some type of trauma to make our personality type. I’ve noticed I have narcissistic tendencies. However, I’ve taken to explaining to my friends and family that any issue with me like that is just a defense mechanism. Most of my friends have understood this after I explain it. When I married my ex wife I was aware of narcissism but not covert narcissism. They will use your weaknesses against you in the nastiest way. You’re constantly under a microscope.

[@karineroumache9124]

I have known a lot of narcissists in my life, of all styles. My father was of the grandiose, authoritarian kind (he abused a lot). Later I encountered more passive-agressive types but also some grandiose, anger-driven ones. I often asked myself the question : "could I be a narcissist ?". I listened to experts, read a lot. I listen to Sam Vaknin, for example, with whom I can feel empathy for the narcissist's suffering and insecurities without, at the same time, being fooled by them. Both Sam Vaknin and Dr Ramani have a different but clever approach of the problem and warn against becoming a narcissist oneself after having been in a narcissistic relationship. My psychiatrist said I'm not and I thank him for it but I would say I wouldn't mind admitting that I am if it was useful in my personal development and in having better relationships with others (I see many narcissists leave a "destruction trail" behind them but I think they're the ones who suffer the most because they have that huge blindspot, which is themselves (and that works both for the grandiose and the vulnerable narcissist, which are the two main types you describe from the personality theory perspective). Recently, I listened to a youtube video that discussed the way ENTPs can be perceived as arrogant. I know I can be perceived as such, sometimes, and the point of the video was something like "if you are still called arrogant, then you still have to work on it", which I agree with. But... I'm not arrogant, I'm fierce. Not proud, not vain, but fierce (not often but enough for it to come out as extremely harsh although polite - which probably hurts more than if I used bad words because then people would be allowed to think I lost my temper. Yet I know some ENTJ's who just won't take people's feelings into account. I'm much more careful. What was my point (outside of all the anecodes I can think about)... I think 1) in a world of insecure people, not being insecure can pass as arrogance and 2) I want people to own themselves, I want to empower them. I may be a mirror and I surely will encourage them. But I am also a mirror that tells the truth in both ways.

[@CognitivePersonality]

1) Love that and I do agree mass-insecurity can place people on the back foot. I also think the term narcissism is overused these days. 2) I resonate with that!

[@tidypeaches]

You sound like ENTJ then?"Wanting people to own themselves"

[@karineroumache9124]

@@tidypeaches I think I get why you would say that. Actually, I sound a bit harsher than my usual on this comment, I realise reading it again. I think I had some frustrations to express, which doesn't make it less real, I think there's a strong cultural / societal bias. Two thoughts came to my mind. 1) although a personality type may be a sort of backbone, it is not necessarily rigid. Like it has been said, it's a continuous. Some days, in some circumstances, I can be extraverted. But during the pandemic I relied a lot on the strengths of introversion, the ability to be alone without missing people too painfully. So, if I can shift from extravert to introvert to a certain extent, which is probably easier for an ambivert type, why wouldn't it be the same with all the dominant functions which is what every type masters best ? So I am probably a "p" most of the time but may be more or less "j" on some occasions. I don't know really. Just a work hypothesis. 2) ENTJ's appear to me to be more leading types, with more energy than I can gather. Also, when I talk with clear "j" types, they believe that they will make people better by criticizing them rather than by encouraging them. I find it both frustrating and somehow sweet because I see that it doesn't necessarily come from a bad place ! But you don't make things grow by hitting on their heads, do you ? Nor by pulling on their leaves. What I wanted to say was that I wish that, before trying to control someone else, one should try to have control on themselves, which is already a difficult enough thing to do.

[@tidypeaches]

@@karineroumache9124 Aw gotcha. I've dated a narcisscist recently, it's a difficult experience. It was interesting to hear your thoughts in your comment. What is your type?

[@karineroumache9124]

@@tidypeaches I'm an ENTP and you ?

[@davidsetka3934]

Wow this is so great! Thank you for these perspectives on narcissism. It helped a lot and yeah I can indentify with some form of those.

[@CognitivePersonality]

Cheers David, really glad to hear this!

[@cass8330]

Learned helplessness, codependence, how to overcome it.. how to brush ppls lying and ignorance off.. how to spot pll who are worth investing in

[@deepforestgreen8308]

To be honest, I never really understood this labelling used by psychiatrists. It's like creating words for something that doesn't really exist. And treating something we have a lot of misperceptions about. Anyway, great video again! Have a great weekend!

[@CognitivePersonality]

I agree. Let's be honest though, much of psychology borders on pseudo-science - a list of symptoms are observed, they're given a cute name, and henceforth a checklist is applied to determine whether a person 'is or is not'. It gets worse when people of limited-to-no understanding of what's actually occuring on a cognitive level start diagnosing everyone!

[@deepforestgreen8308]

@@CognitivePersonality I can recommend R. D. Laing and Andrew Feldmar in this subject.

[@StevenLeMieux]

My moment of clarity with the good old manual of disorders being a vague misconception of what's actually tupology happened a few days ago. The moment I realized as I watched a video of a very intelligent aspergers male speak. I realized this guy's an intp....theirs nothing wrong with him smh boom 💥diagnoses can be misconceptions sometimes.

[@deepforestgreen8308]

@@StevenLeMieux They are. It's a whole play.

[@melbeth79]

I don't agree with everything in this video, but I do agree that narcissism definitely exists on a spectrum. All types can certaintly be them, as well no doubt. There is definitely a blindness out there, don't even get me started. Also, have you been practicing better blinking, ect with the camera consciously? You're getting better at being less intense with that Ni stare :)

[@CognitivePersonality]

No worries - glad you agree narcissism can exist in many, often more clandestine, forms. Hah, constant feedback from the comment section re: blinking has put this at the back of my mind when filming - this combined with becoming more comfortable in front of the camera allows me to relax more! Glad to hear it :D

[@tofusamurai22]

5:30. Best video cut! ..."No." XD But great content as always, Harry! Fascinating! ^_^

[@CognitivePersonality]

Ahah, sums it up perfectly! Cheers :D

[@tofusamurai22]

@@CognitivePersonality Harry, btw: this is Matt (formerly tofusamurai22). Keep up the helpful material-- always appreciated! :D

[@CognitivePersonality]

@@tofusamurai22 I thought I recognised the writing style! Cool name man.

[@tofusamurai22]

@@CognitivePersonality trying it out, haha :P

[@monisune]

:'D looool i didn't even notice that. that is hilarious. ahahah

[@ifonlyunu994]

Trying to stay objective here...but every narcissist I've met is ESTJ. The highest on the spectrum is the weak Fi user in my opinion. I'm ENTP. I hate control. Thank you!

[@CognitivePersonality]

I've met plenty of narcissists from all types - I would agree an extraverted narcissist is likely to receive an EXTJ result from an online test, however, but we all know how reliable tests are for determining type. Nonetheless, I fully agree that utility (oppositional) Fi narcissism is by far the most overt!

[@EmmaLBartley]

So true as it's the most 'apparent'. Ironically I think it's easier to handle overt forms of narcissism as it's so externalised; more insidious varieties are more challenging however.

[@crescent628]

@@ifonlyunu994 I agree. My ex husband was ESTJ.

[@t-man5196]

I find ESTPs more narcissistic because they are more weirdly obsessive and impersonal about controlling others. Where I see ESTJs seeking control often due to some underlying vulnerability or fear, I see ESTPs seeking control just to stroke their own egos or because they like to see others suffer or submit for the sake of itself

[@StevenLeMieux]

Awesome video!

[@CognitivePersonality]

Cheers!

[@valzugg]

Thanks for this sobering take!

[@leeandrews1961]

Excellent work here - thoroughly enjoyed and learned from this. Brilliant.

[@CognitivePersonality]

Thank you my good friend.

[@maloneaqua]

I think it comes from fictional character typing - all villains get typed by the general public as extj’s and narcissistic

[@mikamelon5698]

I like how you explained that complicated topic, I now understand narcissistic personality disorder a little better, at least I think I do. Thank you. :D

[@CognitivePersonality]

My pleasure :)

[@editfarkas333]

Very intereseting! What you say makes so much sense. I guess we have to make self examination, and "guard our hearts" sort of. I was also wondering if there is a hope for a person who has narcissistic personality disorder, to heal. Not unless they want to. I guess. Which is not easy, especially if someone went to far on that road.

[@marybachmann]

I recently had a puzzling confrontation and I think you have explained it. I was being accused of an episode of narcissism, but you pointed out a factor that I had not considered. I was trying to figure it out and I was intending to accept responsibility yet address it with CBT, but now I see that the root problem is quite probably outside of my narrow scope of technical knowledge and the person could suffer more and likely would not benefit from further discussion.

[@CognitivePersonality]

Thanks for the comment! That's another factor - narcissistic behaviour can often be so temporary as to make it illogical to forever label a person exhibiting such behaviour as a narcissist. Best of luck determining the causes!

[@ec8335]

Great video! I just discovered your channel and have a few of your videos and find your ideas fascinating! I look forward to watching all of your videos :)

[@CognitivePersonality]

Welcome aboard! I appreciate it :)

[@silentgrove7670]

The convergent narcissism you are speaking of is sometimes called vulnerable narcissism. Such people will surely play the victim card in order to get their needs met. The primary manipulative technique is based in guilting others. Most are unaware they do this. I did not know much about narcissism until encountering one several years ago. I was fortunate to get away in time as I began challenging their behaviour, still it was most unpleasant. I think the term narcissism is thrown about a bit too much. Just because I don't like someone doesn't mean they are a narcissist. I am leaving a link here for those looking to understand this better. She is one of the best I have seen in addressing this topic. kzbin.info/www/bejne/l3mriJp9bMl1bKM

[@CognitivePersonality]

Indeed such experiences are extremely unpleasant, and as you say the person demonstrating this behaviour is often blind to their own manipulations. I agree, and the more the term is thrown around the more watered down and meaningless the word becomes. Cheers for the link!

[@Dani-jo9yr]

Just UAU 💯💯👈Great thinking points 👍😁

[@CognitivePersonality]

Hah, cheers!

[@emlillthings7914]

TLDR: thanks for uploading DR: The way you explain narcissism, on not just a spectrum, but also expression, gave a much more insightful perspective on how it manifests. I've generally overlooked it all as having a congenital origin, that adapts well to spectacle, but when you explained the expressions manifesting differently, but often(always?) act virally,,, yeah, I've for large parts of my life been heavily affected with narcissism. It's relatively recent that I've shed most of it, and I can't help but wonder if I'd be able to even notice, if I'd watched this video while it was at its peak,,, would it have yanked me out earlier, or would it have been dismissed? OK, wall of text. (ref: tldr)

[@CognitivePersonality]

Interesting food for thought! I also wonder as to the nature-nurture side of this condition :)

[@SpaceyFae]

On a side, for the ending with more topics. I have been forming my own theories on this, but would absolutely love to hear from those more trained in this psychology, discuss on how personality type, the functions, and certain disorders may potentially relate play out, such as dissociative identity disorder. Not so much, which types are more prone things, but more of, how they would connect, if at all. Are there functions more involved? Etc. This has been bouncing around in my mind for awhile, and on top of every other reason I’m digging into depth/jungian psychology and CPT, I’ve wanted to have a reference to refer this very topic back to, if it even could be.

[@CognitivePersonality]

I actually believe various disorders can manifest differently depending upon type; such things are increasingly being recognised on a spectrum, and there may very well be a correlation between that specturm and a person's type. I am increasingly seeing mechanisms at play; I wouldn't say there are more functions, but rather points in between two opposing functions with their own unique characteristics :)

[@t-man5196]

ESTPs are the most likely to be narcissists. INTJs and INFJs are most likely to be targeted/taken advantage of by narcissists

[@yacinedamak4903]

Its multiple variety forms makes me question fundamentally it’s existence , until you mentioned continuum*... This was pretty interesting ; being prudent using the correct words when confronting complexity and paradoxes, thanks for the effort Harry and keep it up ^^

[@CognitivePersonality]

Plus at the end of the day narcissism is just another word named after someone in the past - when we place the condition on a continuum we can perceive and understand the variety of different manipulative behaviour that stems from a deep sense of insecurity, but it remains nonetheless a blanket term to encapsulate a variety of radically different behavioural traits. Thank you and shall do :)

[@yacinedamak4903]

Cognitive Personality Exactly ! This pretty seems to me like a factorization operation so to identify its root speaking of that deep sense of insecurity , within paradoxically a blend of differences* in a developed form.. Now it remain really interesting to seek the/a source* to each different variant* in the big equation* ( continuum ) , which leads to find out if we’re speaking of the same source to everything so to know if we can call narcissism by its name or to finally conclude over radically* a different thing.. Fundamentalism* has its limits.. continuum is that hope/necessity* which bestow the possibility to make sense out of everything .. We* create the sense , in what i believe is the very essence of responsability in the face of chaos ; to extract from it our path seemingly* made of light*.. Thanks again Harry for the share ! Take care .. :)

[@CognitivePersonality]

@@yacinedamak4903 Yes!! Beautifully put :)

[@speakersr-lyefaudio6830]

I’m an entp, and a dick. I like more course interaction: dark humor, friendly ribbing and an ability to talk about and face difficult topics. I think dancing around issues because it hurts people’s feelings is inaffective/inefficient. This also applies to myself.

[@phattiemelt]

Curious question: if one were to notice poor behavior in someone else, they recognized it because someone had done it to them before and they know it to be unhealthy. If they ask someone not to exhibit an unhealthy behavior, is that manipulation or is that recognizing how healthy relationships work and actively asking someone to do their best to not behave in an unhealthy way?

[@CognitivePersonality]

Well, manipulation isn't a bad thing per se - when we open up to another in hopes of them changing their behaviour this is a form of manipulation, but it is reciprical as we would do the same for them :)

[@cazbee6126]

Noice! I've been looking for info (ok, vids) on creation of overt & covert narcs & empaths. Why the different outcomes from narcissistic childhood abuse, and could innate cognitive functions play a role. BTW, when you mention narcs r the result of narc abuse you didn't mention it's in the formative years (and more damaging the younger the child). I haven't heard that adult NA produces narcissism in the victim.

[@CognitivePersonality]

These things are so often a viscious circle - a person who is hurt subsequenty inflicts pain upon another person, and the cycle continues; in terms of children, while this is certainly not always the case those children who become bullies are often emotionally abused at home.

[@cindyc]

Thinking it often can cause codependency too.

[@Burnout_parrot]

I loved this video and agree with some statements, but also disagree with others. Don't know, maybe I understood you wrong because of the language barrier, but I'll write my thoughts anyway. I've seen in mbti community this tendency to say things like "my boyfriend dumped me, this is why he is narcissist and psychopath and also he is entj". Yes, this could be true that this person really had personality disorder, but this disorders are rare, but when you look at mbti community it seems like every second person has been dating with psychopaths and every person with whom they had misunderstanding were narcissist. So I started thinking: "Why do people do that?" Honestly, I had a friend in my life that I think might be has narcissistic personality disorder, but I'm not sure, that what I see as narcissism is really it. This could be just our conflicts in value systems, I don't know. So, I came to conclusion, that when someone thinks that other person is a narcissist is could be our defense mechanism of psyche. But also I think that it can be not a bad thing and I'll explain you why. For example, you going home alone without any defensive weapon, it's dark and you walk into dangerous area. You meet band of people who beat you up, call you worthless piece of a human, and took all of your money. You can think, that the leader of this people is narcissist or have any other disorder(sadistic, antisocial or something). Does this thought make you narcissist, because you think that someone is a narcissist? No. But If you'll start thinking that "this person probably was in a bad mood and this is my fault why he beat me to death!" But this thought is wrong. Of course, If you'll start to understand motiv of this person it could lead to "this person had so many problems in his life, he is full of fear, this is why he tries to become a pack leader, it's the only thing that gives this person a feeling of self-worth". And to what it can lead next? To stocholm syndrom. This is why it's much safier to put label on this person that this person is "bad" or "narcissist". Does it automaticly make you a narcissist too? No. The only thing you can blame yourself is for stupidity (you walk into dangeros place without a weapon). That's all. When someone thinks of other as narcissist - it is something that helps us to have normal mental health. (Sorry If I misunderstood you and you didn't mean any of that, I just have a thought and decided that it would be good to say this out loud. Anyways, more comments you get - more people will see this video, so I'll think of it as I'm supporting the video XD )

[@karineroumache9124]

So true and so interesting again ! I'll come back to it ;)

[@CognitivePersonality]

Cool! :)

[@UnknownUser-xp1dp]

What are your thoughts about an ISFJ as a closet or vulnerable narcissist? How would it manifest?

[@CognitivePersonality]

Narcissism would be far more covert as the Fe authority first needs to establish social harmony before manipulation can occur :)

[@UnknownUser-xp1dp]

@@CognitivePersonality I believe that makes detecting narcissistic Fe users all the more difficult. Imagine someone hellbent on maintaining harmony and peace and that person turning out to be a narcissist? It would stir up quite the cloud of cognitive dissonance in people around the narcissist.

[@CognitivePersonality]

@@UnknownUser-xp1dp Agreed!

[@jake_with_the_BIG_snake]

i was raised by my mom a covert narc ISFJ. They will oscillate between the fawn(think manipulative Fe, covert contracts etc) and fight response. you will get helped or "love bombed" to death. and punished if you don't accept or enjoy the "help" you will get abuse in proportion to the resistance to the "help". it can be very hard to realize they and not you are the problem because of the sudden changes. it completely fucks with your head. the punishments will also be very subtle and manipulative at times. everything is transactional. for instance. your mom comes into your room and empties the dust bin. you say you can do it. but no. she just does it among 10 other things you didn't ask for(that you dont even know about). then when you finally protest a boundary she constantly violates she has been keeping score and plays the victim and punishes you with "how dare you do this to me, i do x, y, and z for you". the rage attacks takes longer to build up with covert narcs and after that they need to rest and they mainly do it when they know they have built up enough guilt and shame within you so you think its your fault. they do this by constant depreciation, its very subtle at first. then the more they break you the worse it gets. they might humiliate you by treating you like a toddler even though you are 18 years. like insisting on tying your shoelaces. bonus score if its in front of your friends. she never lets go of the mask in front of other people and might hold off on punishing you if you protest. afterwards when you are alone the punishments will come. don't even mention all the gas lighting and constant demand that all of their emotions gets mirrored. meanwhile your emotions does not exist. all the things you prefer and like, will be told. "noo sweetie actually you dont like these things" from what i have read about overt narcs they just feed on rage and fight mode non stop so it is easier to identify you are being abused. it took me over 20 years to realize how fucked it was. i don't think an ISFJ would be likely to behave as an overt narc i have a very hard time seeing it. furthermore check unhealthy enneagram 2 traits. with some unhealthy enneagram 1 traits sprinkled in for good descriptions. www.enneagraminstitute.com/type-2 and www.enneagraminstitute.com/type-1 search for "Type Two-Levels of Development" and type one respectively the one who raised me were most of the times at 7-8. rarely at 5-6. very rarely at 4 and 9.

[@Alexandra-ze1is]

INFJ who has been through hell: Personally I have found that I have been haunted by other people's perspectives even in my most painful moments. Take suicidal fantasies: Even the feelings and efforts of the stranger who might have to clean up my by then disgusting remains had to be considered. No type is immune to pain, fear and so also narcissism. INFJs know where your infected scars are and all of your insecurities. And that's where we might stab you if we want you to share our pain or perhaps force you to change. My guess is that a narcissistic INFJ has to be 1) completely consumed by some insane amount of pain (which is somewhat of a killswitch for Fe) and 2) nihilistic, with the indifference and aggression that comes with it, and simultaneously 3) have some kind of idealistic goal or vision, if they're to act out their nihilism and pain.

[@CognitivePersonality]

Thank you for sharing!

[@Alexandra-ze1is]

@@CognitivePersonality Thank you for another great video! Btw, there might be gender differences too. Anima possession and animus possession are very different.

[@Researcher9868]

I really enjoyed this. Why do you think some people type cartman as an esfp?

[@cazbee6126]

INFJ. I could never confront my mildly narcissistic father, but have never been an adult victim. Way too good a radar for bullshit, not attracted to 'charming' people, and a solid integrity and self respect. Although have spent waaay to much energy on others 🛌 whilst discouraging much need compassion for moiself

[@CognitivePersonality]

This sounds like a much more positive response overall than those who themselves develop narcissistic tendencies :)

[@cazbee6126]

@@CognitivePersonality He wasn't a narcissist, just an INTP w underdeveloped Fe and unresolved grief, so I shouldn't have mentioned the N word. And I had an awesome mater, prob INFJ, so I was bound to turn out good 😇. Like you I'm sooper dooper Ni-Ti, but my Fe got way out of control w chronic illness. REALLY enjoy yr vids thx

[@cass8330]

You haven't used the word codependent yet , if that's an inverse form of npd then so be it but it is a problem.

[@melphillips1608]

Gotcha makes sense. Anyone can be an ass and the easiest way to determine is a sense of ‘tit for tat’/tally score board. Very helpful info. :)

[@SashaP-f7k]

You are a kind man 15:18

[@cass8330]

My dad, I still can't tell if he was INTP or INTJ or xSTP.. He's dead now and I still can't figure him out.

[@PowerRedBullTypology]

I do not know ANY narcissist...(See how non narcissistI am!)

[@CognitivePersonality]

One of those gaze long into an abyss moments.

[@RB-rc6rw]

Great video And I agree all types can have it. I’m intj and I’ve done many dark triad test and never came out narcissist, but intjs get the label too. If Elon Musk said I’ve achieved things that most people could never achieve. People would jump out their seats screaming narcissist. But in reality it’s the truth. I know this isn’t in your points and I don’t think it’s a good way to be. But when you look at it from a unbiased point of view, it’s true.

[@ajaywankhede1905]

@Susana A you loose the point of whole video

[@RB-rc6rw]

I like the video because it’s been well thought out and some of it I agree with. But to be fair I don’t agree with a lot of it, because for it to make sense, you need to a actually know the person you’re talking about. Not just what you see through the single lens that you have in your screen. For instance if someone wants to learn how to sells something, they are going to learn and use persuasion because it’s unavoidable, and trust me, you need to know it to make any money what so ever money. I would add that it doesn’t mean that person would sell bad things either. Sometime it’s the fact they only have access to crap, that they take so long to start, and sometimes, never do. On top of that if you look around, almost every person in business uses persuasion , even in content makers uses it. Pause. Doesn’t make them a Narcissist though. That person couldstay clear of it in real life unless they are being verbally attacked. Think about this. If that person(the narcissist) is arguing with someone and knows they’re right, and strives for efficiency in everything they do. They will be as effective as possible in making the other person realise that they’re wrong, if they are. Even more so when that person is very goal oriented. Just like a INTJs strategise for efficiency in everything they do. And in every task they are trying to complete a task. Whether that’s the washing up, making millions or winning the argument that they know they’re right in. On the other hand and this is where I agree with you, If that person (the narcissist) had no business in knowing persuasion, that would be a different story. But in ignorance of knowing this information this label gets slapped on the wrong 📦 again. Now you could say that person is playing the victim (narcissist). Or you could say that the person if speaking the truth. That would depend on what lens you’re seeing it through...

[@CognitivePersonality]

It's important to prioritise truth over modesty, and acknowledging one's achievements is as important as acknowledging that of others. That itself wouldn't be narcissistic, but I imagine boasting in the company of others would.

[@RB-rc6rw]

Cognitive Personality Theory Hmm, if you want the truth, I don’t think most people can handle the truth... Now I think would show bad character. But I don’t think it makes the person a narcissist. It can’t be true by himself and false because he’s with others. That makes no sense.

[@CognitivePersonality]

@@RB-rc6rw Hah, the company of others certainly won't make it less true! Stating a truth that happens to coincide with self-worth is not narcissism; stating a truth that coincides with self-worth with the sole intention of raising one's own social standing to the detriment of others is - in neither of these scenarios is a truth less true :D

[@catnipchewer]

Do you think it’s possible for a narcissist to even have a CPT type that can be observed? If you were to type a client with narcissistic personality disorder, would you be able to see through that disorder and tell what their cognitive type is? Do you think if a self aware narcissistic person were to discover their cognitive type, improvement would be possible for them? Do you think a person with clinical narcissism would even benefit from finding out their cognitive type? Since it’s a personality disorder I’d assume cognition and behaviour are both very impacted. You’d have to see through a lot of defence mechanisms, BS and trauma. For example, cluster B traits of impulsivity can be confused with Se, attention-seeking with Fe, how do you tell what is the disorder and what is the cognition?

[@Ryuzaki8654]

Hi. Loved your questions. Like any other person, a narcissist will have cognitive functions but they will be not in harmony since countless defence mechanisms they have adopted over time and therefore it will be hard to determine their CPT. As for typing a clinical disorder, it is always better to look beyond the cognitive functions. Apart from a predisposition to a certain type at birth, situational development will hinder the spontaneous growth of that personality showing off a darker side later. And therapy to treat NPD is extremely hard since they will not admit they have a problem or even in therapy, the therapist has to be specially trained. Knowledge of function is not enough. Very interesting question. But narcissists cannot reflect on their actions and internal dialogue because that will threaten their ego defences and eventually destroy their psyche. Those who are aware, are probably not narcissists but have been subjected to abuse & a self-aware individual will always look for growth and CPT is a great tool. I can't answer the 4th question. Last one: Cognition is how you perceive and make sense of the world around you. While making sense of the world you have to interact with people and if your behaviour makes you and other people close to you suffer and you face social impairment eventually then that is a disorder. If Se's impulsivity and Fe's attention-seeking behaviour that we see is not impacting negatively then it is not a disorder. I hope I managed to clear up a few of your questions. :)

[@iaJENKA]

What personality type are you? I think narcissism is partially genetic and partially influenced by what happens to you in life, this is based on a lot of observation of people I know in real life.

[@CognitivePersonality]

Much like type, indeed, but I would say nurture factors can be underestimated. I'm an actual INFJ :)

[@TK-kf8zc]

I was once told narcissists breed narcissists and now I can from personal experience see that it runs in families. The child of such a parent would develop it as a defense against the parental misuse and neglect. And how they cling to each other in these families!

[@TK-kf8zc]

I think it is possible to be either grandiose or a victim without being a narcissist. If I understand narcissism correctly it is predatory, there is no reciprocity in the relationships beyond what keeps the supply coming. But there are people who just think they are all that or who feel sorry for themselves who do not extend to manipulative social behavior. Or am I being naive here?

[@CognitivePersonality]

Narcissism doesn't have to be overtly expressed, it is simply an obsessive preoccupation with the self born of insecurity. NPD is another story :)

[@TK-kf8zc]

Well then there needs to be 'peoplism', obsessive preoccupation with other people born of insecurity. 😉

[@CognitivePersonality]

@@TK-kf8zc I love that!

[@cass8330]

🙏💗 My request is to cover gender culture and the left brain/ right brain dominance myth.. how some ppl who believe they think mainly with their left brain, think they're inherently logical creatures.. How emotion is important and what's emotion versus ego.. and what's logic versus ego.. Because I'm sick of ppl who are smart in only one thing, think they know everything.. even without researching it.. just that entitlement which usually goes with male privilege.. I'm projecting something I hate that I was on the receiving end with my dad and notice my brothers adopted some of this too and my mum perpetuate gender culture despite being a rape victim herself.

[@CognitivePersonality]

Excellent request!

[@jaybhipp8559]

I just wonder about this expressions like "it's obvious" etc. Did you do any case study, research or anything? Even earlier today it struck me that MANY traits of INFPs that I hear about in KZbin videos (esp in connection to this enneagram thing) sounds just so similarly to codependence and other trauma related stuff. I just looked at the guy - 'are you talking, with those symptoms of yours, about CPTSD?' Correlation between INFP (for example) and CPTSD/another trauma or abuse is measurable and can be checked. NPD and personality correlation also could be statistically measured. So I think video is nice, I love the way you think, you've got so neat way of thinking and expressing it, but is there anything beside it? I'm just curious. I'd love to hear some facts about that, not just nice theory. I am sorry but I didn't understand everything, although I tried - and the subtitles are not good too - is it a big deal to fix them? I guess it's a kind of automatic speech-recognition system, maybe it's easily editable? And narcissism- we all are narcissist, hurt each other like crazy, the most "selfless" sometimes hurt most by not caring for themselves and making everyone around them feel guilty.... ("oh I have no life, I just live for you, I want nothing in return" BIG LIE) Real NPD abuser needs a victim to feed on. So being healthy, strong person with resolved past is the best vaccine :-)

[@CognitivePersonality]

Fair point! Sadly the research on these topics is very limited as, even when there is a valid MBTI-based paper, since the instrument itself is only around 50% accurate, the results aren't particularly reliable. Big 5 reseach is far better, but the parameters therein don't correspond to cognitive functions. I have my own research bank as a typologist, but this only corresponds to type codes within CPT itself. I am truly uncertain if there will ever be a good body of cognitive function research as it is so individualised and independent of traits.

[@jaybhipp8559]

Cognitive Personality Theory i got exactly 50% on each scale in big 5 so i dont value it highly, no matter how „scientific” it was 😏

[@CognitivePersonality]

@@jaybhipp8559 Big 5 doesn't assign personality types, so 50% scores are just as valid as scores at either extreme :)

[@jaybhipp8559]

@@CognitivePersonality no they said i must had been cheatin and its not possible 😅 maybe it was just invalid online version

[@cazbee6126]

PS. I feel ALOT of compassion for the angry loveless obnoxious lives of narcs. It's a disgusting social failure of child protection.

[@CognitivePersonality]

Agreed.

[@ajaywankhede1905]

Great insights by the way is your lord of the ring series over or some characters are left I am sure there are some great characters like elrond are left..

[@CognitivePersonality]

Thanks Ajay - you're right, the LOTR series is yet incomplete!

[@TreasureSeasons]

Narcissism seems to follow this personality typing. Especially with INFJs 🤓 it's been tempting to drop out of all personalities 😺 however when it comes to my entj friend...I love how he doesn't care lol 😂 does that make him a narcissist? ☺️

[@CognitivePersonality]

Yes it's somewhat toxic isn't it! Haha, certainly not on it's own!

[@grumpyschnauzer]

“Narcissism” is overrated. It’s always “victim” mentality pointing the finger and calling people “the narcissist” but everyone can clearly see the flaws of the “victim”.

[@CognitivePersonality]

Indeed, this is very often the case!

[@gemeinschaftsgeful]

Many have been victimized by narcissists. It is a victimizing behavior. But, those with low self esteem, unaware or unarmored against manipulative bully play ground tactics of narcissism, are more likely to be taken advantage of by narcs.

[@grumpyschnauzer]

gemeinschaftsgeful Yes, good points. I was one of those naive persons but the mental health field and our cultural landscape today is exploiting it. I wish my parents taught me how to vet and qualify people to avoid narcs but they were narcs themselves. Still, the flooding of information about this results in over diagnosis, fear, mistrust, and insecurity of everyone and anyone who might be “perceived”, subjectively, as a narcissist. It’s not helpful.

[@gemeinschaftsgeful]

@@grumpyschnauzer I wonder if it's just the case of a bunch of people trying hard not to be fooled again by narcs and going over the top in trying to spot the traits. Being fooled is a lot like falling back into addiction for the vulnerable and they are trying to avoid the pitfalls.

[@heartpoint5289]

@@jellyfishi_ I like the way you broke this down. I feel like person 2b. I feel like since I was a tiny child, I viewed my parents as psychologically unwell. I had the sense, “there aren’t any grownups around here”. So I became self-reflective, not afraid to look at my own darkness, and tried my best to help my parents. I agree with your distinction, but I wonder if Harry is speaking to person 2b as well. Because as small children, our brains are wired to see our parents as god-like. So if we are person 2b, we are now in the position of being more evolved than our gods and obliged to care for, and perhaps heal them. That makes us more powerful than our gods. I have called this having an unwanted amount of power. A burdensome amount. For me, the traits of narcissism I have to work on in myself are beliefs that I am disproportionately responsible for, or able to effect other’s well being more than I can, or should try to. As I work on this, I do not fall into the victim mentality of person 2a. However, as I attempt to be more discerning about who to trust, I can make the narcissistic mistake of getting scared, and pulling away/isolating to protect myself from perceived harm. I become avoidant and I have gotten feedback that this behavior is hurtful to others. I’m a work in progress and I did love Harry’s statement that it’s more important and empowering to see our own narcissistic tendencies than to focus on other’s. Anyway, I appreciate what you wrote, it was a nice distinction.

[@TK-kf8zc]

Covert narcissists are harder to recognize, they can take longer to show their hand. My bete noire is social narcissists, the social do gooders. See their names on all those schools and hospitals? It is architectectural humblebragging.

[@cass8330]

Do you have this written up somewhere, I want to understand both my family's fuckery and my own fuckery

[@CognitivePersonality]

Sadly I have no writing on this subject!

[@incisiveshadow5593]

I don't know where this idea that INFJs can not be narcissists comes from. In fact, there are a very large number of INFJs who are in fact covert narcissists. I've come across several and know plenty of other people who have too.

[@CognitivePersonality]

Agreed.

[@crescent628]

My ex husband's mother was a covert narcissist and she is INFJ

[@jaredvaughan1665]

The vast majority of narcissist experts on KZbin are Fe users who had previous narcissistic Fi partners. Such as INFJ Ross Rosenberg and ENFJ Les Carter. Think about it is a narcissist going to care more about they feel (Fi) or how others feel (Fe) ?

[@CognitivePersonality]

Interesting!

[@cass8330]

I'm sorry this is my last comment here, is there such a thing as intellectual abuse? Lol

[@CognitivePersonality]

One can attack the intellect of another person, or attack their emotions with intellect, but it is still emotional abuse :)

[@That_Awkward_Mum]

Very insightful (if somewhat uncomfortable) viewing! Thanks for making this video. :-) Do you think Borderline Personality Disorder could be part of the Narcissistic continuum (since a lot of people with BPD seem to have been victims of narcissistic abuse)?

[@CognitivePersonality]

Hah, thank you! That's a complicated question - I would say people with BPD are more likely to 'identity' with many things, and I would also say the attachment styles that often go alongside this disorder can manifest as being on either end of said continuum. There seems to be a correlation between BPD and being a HSP on some level, the latter of which can definitely make one more 'agreeable' and thus an easier target.

[@That_Awkward_Mum]

@@CognitivePersonality Thanks for replying! Yes, from what (little ) I know about BPD, I think you may be right about attachment styles and identity instability. When you say "agreeable", do you mean it in the sense of the Big 5's concept of "agreeableness"? I imagine these people might score highly on neuroticism, too? (N.B. - I'd just like to point out that I'm not trying to say anything negative about people with BPD...just curious about where I might fit on that continuum!) Also, I've just watched your 'INFP or ISFP?' video for (probably) the fifth time. I had to take notes to see which qualities I related to most, and by the end of it, the ISFP column was the most full up! So, thanks for helping me to clarify my type. 😁 I've enjoyed all your videos, you make all these concepts so much easier to understand. Plus I do love a regional accent - I could listen to you all day! (...Hope that wasn't an inappropriate thing to say 😳)

[@CognitivePersonality]

@@That_Awkward_Mum Oh yes, I was referring to the Big 5 trait of agreeableness :) I would say BPD and Neuroticism often go hand-in-hand, but one can definitely get the latter in check and still have the former. Cheers! Haha, not at all, opinions on the accent are mixed so such remarks are always nice to hear!

[@stiken4421]

C...! PT! at miiiiiiidgniiiiiight! xD I started to sing Iron Maiden when I saw this video published at such hour! nvm quarantine have damaged my brain :D (Will feed my mind with this content at the breakfast!)

[@CognitivePersonality]

Let's make this the theme of my Thursday night uploads! Although the late hour is largely to land the video within an American late-afternoon :D

[@stiken4421]

@@CognitivePersonality haha :D Well am not a singer but it would destroy me if I would hear that at one of the intros to Your videos :D

[@КУКУСЕЧКАПУНЮНЬКА]

The most narcissists i ever met are ISTP or ESTP

[@nickjonas2118]

Think this. We love dogs. But being called, " dog" offend most people. On other side, Being called fox like, Cat like, lion like or tiger like is a compliment. So essentially we are attracted towards power. We want to be independent and strong and that's why we find such people adorable. Infj are essentially wise dogs... I am not gonna finish making my point. Those who are smart enough, they already know where I am going with this

[@tamannatazz5800]

I couldn't agree with you. I think Infj are cat. Lol I'm an Infj

[@EmbraceTerror]

Hogwash!

[@cass8330]

I hate just being a female sometimes, I'm INFJ .. my mums likely ENFP, maybe even ESFP sometimes I think ENTJ ...Idk, borderline mbti type.. She mirrors ppl a lot. My dad was at least consistent my nan recently died, I'm actually better off emotionally overall because she's not around and thankfully I'm not the only one to have suffered because of her so it's not a shock that I feel a little bit lighter that she's gone.. Idk if she was INFP or ESFP.. I have a lot of anger

[@illiterate.ink.]

Bla blah blah

[@CognitivePersonality]

Aye, blah blah