Narcissistic Control - How the Narcissist LOVES to Control YOU!

If you're a woman feeling trapped in a toxic relationship and looking for freedom, you've come to the right place. With over 3000+ clients, I've integrated everything I've learned into a comprehensive program designed to help you reclaim your freedom. My goal is to guide you to break free without confronting or trying to fix him. Together, let's rediscover YOU and cultivate your confidence and clarity. To take the next step in your healing journey with me, visit www.rawmotivations.com/breakt...
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If you're a man struggling with narcissistic traits and seeking the path, community, and transformation that I've experienced, I'm here to help - but only if you are serious about investing the time and energy. To begin this journey with me, schedule a session at www.rawmotivations.com/break-...
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Tune in to hear the perspective of a self aware narcissist. That’s me - Ben Taylor a narcissist in recovery trying to promote awareness, healing, growth and change. I do that by these videos on here, TikTok, Instagram and Facebook.
Platforms I am on:
TikTok - / raw_motivations
Instagram - / rawmotivations
Facebook - profile.php?...
Podcast - anchor.fm/rawmotivations
KZbin - / rawmotivations

[@franciscoguevara9727]

Its true. My dad was a control fucking freak. I lived 2 years alone with him, in a different country. Before atleast I had my mom, to balance him out a little, or he would spend time working away from home or not do things with us. But those 2 years i lived with him it was so controlling. They ofcourse see their own kids as extensions of themselves or whatever. Objects maybe. Maybe like all people. Stuff to manipulate!! Not really connect, respect, understand, love, etc. My dad was so controlling about every detail. And very abusive in different ways. The years i lived with him i was really affected. In my self-esteem, in my voice, in my confidence, in my connection to my sense of self etc. Ive heard narcisists dont know who they are, thats also where gaslighting comes from. As an empath, or a normal person i was connected to who i was, surely i had insecurities at times , specially with a narc parent, but I knew who i was I was a playful, athletic, sportsy, cool, quickwitted, sociable, outgoing, authentic, expressive, sensitive, real, caring, etc etc attributes teenager. The narc attacks the self worth, with the devaluing, rage, gaslighting, projection, and many different aspects of the self. I needed to find myself again , to listen to my inner child, on things that he liked and things that made him uncomfortable, and start using my voice , my healthy NO , my healthy self protective instinct, to let people know i wasn't going to take their abuse anymore, be it in the job or anywhere, with a narc parent specially as the scapegoat you learn to allow abuse. Anyway. Once i started listening to my inner child , and protecting him as the adult, and building a relationship with him, and taking care of him and commited to the healing journey, from childhood trauma, specially honoring him with healthy boundaries my inner child came out more to express himself through me, as the authentic self, to play, to connect, to have fun, to share, to participate, to say what i think about things, to share my voice, knowing that i can now take care of him, i can now, see which people are safe for me, and i can speak up for that child, and practice self-respect, but also, with the healing that ive gone through, knowing that Im worth it. It was about the narcs need to project his feeling of unworthiness at me. Because he couldnt accept it about himself. And as the video said he wont change, unless he's ready to be honest. Few of these narcisists are ready to go down the road of honesty about how they abuse others! Im glad I am 3 years into my healing and have restored wholeness, connection to sense of self, authenticity, and sense of selfworth , boundaries individuation and commitment to stayign true to my inner children. :) and im getting ready to get off coffee too wow

[@WhiteWolfBlackStar]

MONEY. They always go after your money. They'll make sure you lose your home, and everything in it. No car, no clothes, but they want THAT MONEY. They are SO GREEDY.

[@chelseastar2018]

Not a kiss for two years said we were friends but leading me on mixed signals I provided essentials most of the time he did loads but wanted my daughter to move out and then said he would have sex with me I waited in hope but yesterday he tried to take the dog he gave me and it didn't work but now he jus watches me online

[@maxvodka9494]

Mine always criticized my friends saying they weren't good for me. Then when I left he called my family and friends saying things about me. However what he didn't expect is that my family and friends never believed him. Pissed him off.

[@beautifully_averagepanda4427]

Oh wow when I listen to you I'm reliving things I went through. Sometimes I'll forget things I guess to block it from my mind and you will say something and i remember the hell he put me through. He would time me at the store and check the reciet and make sure the money matched it. I always tell people I can heal and live with the physical scars he left on my body but the mental abuse lingers and just last night I had a dream about him. One thing I noticed from my narc was he always wore the same clothes and the same colors. He kept his wallet and most clothes locked up in a locked suit case. He liked to go through my phone but if I went near his he'd throw a fit. I think most people would just say they are ocd but everything is for a reason and very calculated. Thank you for another great video! 💗

[@thisguy8224]

One of the weirder ones…she loved to sleep in until sometimes 1pm on a Saturday. Because she works so hard all week. I can’t sleep that late, my back hurts laying around that long. I eventually got in trouble. “Why are you getting up? I tell you that I like to sleep in on Saturday. If you get up I can tell you’re gone and I can’t sleep. Just lay here with me until I wake up!” So I started stating in bed. It getting up to feed my dogs. Do anything productive. It would get boring but I’d eventually pull out my phone and just read stuff, news, memes. That also upset her. “Might as well be the same as getting up! Why can’t you just stay in bed and cuddle me?! If you’re going to keep ruining my sleep I’m just going to start sleeping at me house”. So I did what she wanted. Then each Saturday when I’d do what she wanted we’d have magical morning sex. All so confusing

[@beautifully_averagepanda4427]

Sex is a great manipulation tactic. I can relate to this however mine would let me up to cook him breakfast or if he needed to write someone on his phone secretly. The sex part was different he only wanted it at night around the same time. I thought that was odd. 🤔 I hope you are in a happier place now in life. A lot of people think only men are narcs and that's not the case at all.

[@bonnystarkey1143]

Wow you described my ex relationship. He had me brainwashed me for decades. Had me believing he was the good guy and I was the bad guy. My self esteem and worth were zero when I left. I’ve been healing since I left him 15+ years ago. THANK YOU for explaining this!

[@nh255]

this is my sister, i’ve been living with her for almost 2 years and she controls everything since she’s the “golden child” & my dad enables her physical and emotional violence. she has done everything she could to control me and hurt me and i’m just at the point where i let her have her control until i can leave

[@nh255]

she controls the food, the pets, the finances, tells me when to do something & everytime i have tried to tell someone or explain myself she manipulates the situation even more. she’s obsessive over me and my life and i am done trying to understand it

[@Mary-sm7fd]

He Sure Does !!! Love Control !!!

[@electromagneticbliss]

Great video! Thanks for this topic.

[@brandyschroeder4759]

I always knew how controlling and manipulative my parents were. I never felt love from my parents were. They never told us they loved us. I felt more love coming from people that help guide me to be a better person. I had less than a handful of people that helped me through good intentions. Some narcissists arcissists broke me and then other narcissists wound up teaching me strength. I was always aware that love can come and go but I learned that you have to love yourself and and have strength to protect yourself. Having self love and strength is far more important than getting external love or external validation. Even though I never got love from my parents I learned what real love is by observing other people.

[@ItsSoarTime]

i thank God i had the strength to tell dude after about 2 weeks that i would NOT make him the center of my existence!!!! WTF!!!!! i had already made some serious accommodations. i would NOT allow my KINDNESS to be taken for a weakness!!!!!!! i pulled away and i'm going to stay away!!!! because i will NOT be controlled and manipulated to the degree where i'm at his beck and call and allowing him to talk at me in any old way. NOT THE ONE!!!!! NEVER HAVE BEEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WILL NEVER BE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[@emmamonroe3311]

He must have done that to his side chicks. He knew better than to do it to me. I would have kicked his butt to the curb. And all narcs once you research this they have more supply they just labeled you as grade A, now I’m sure I am grade F-. Don’t care! Kick rocks ex narc. Thanks Ben, your right they don’t care about changing. It’s a foreign word to them.🤡👈🏻

[@Jeannie2324]

I'm dealing with a narcissist and it's so heavy mentally 😔💔

[@ItsSoarTime]

EXACTLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT is what caused me to pull away and stay away after my 2-week exposure. END IT NOW!!!!!! the pain i experienced was EXCRUCIATING after only about 2 weeks!!!!! IMAGINE how much more painful it's going to be the longer you wait to MOVE ON!!!!!!!!! PEACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[@phoenixrising4768]

So all of this happened with me. 1. He never showed me his phone but showed me this one text of his new supply telling him that I'm a lowlife and I deserve to rot in hell. Then he said.. see this is what ppl think abt you. 2. He told me that they haven't been in touch for a year.. and showed me a text that said, we haven't been in touch for a year and you do this!! This lowlife. I was like why did she have to mention this explicitly that they haven't been in touch. 3. Triangulation - he said, she said you are always wrong .. I can't have your back anymore because she said so. 4. I had a mishap post break up and I didn't mean to text her friend verifying her story.. she got mad why i called her friend. And her friends.. all of them called to bully me and threaten me. Both said I was destroying their reputation. 5. Maybe both are overt and covert.. don't know. But both of them ganged up against me to bully me.

[@RawMotivations]

Thank you for sharing

[@lovelifexx726]

I left my husband and contact is through his friend as I went no contact. Its meant to be only contact about the kids and any of his left over stuff at my house. He asked his friend to send me a message today his friend doesn't know what he means but I do. It's a subtle dig that he's out at bars spending money and bedding women like he did when I was pregnant. I'm currently in debt from trying to support him financially for the best part of a year and receiving no child maintenance from him either.

[@WhiteWolfBlackStar]

Yep the screenshot game! OMG! I've been surrounded by narcissists ALL MY LIFE. My dad married 2 of them, I'm always the target. I'm just now learning about all this.GOOD NEWS! THEY DIE, and they DIE STILL MISERABLE.

[@yayitsmaria]

I thought I was the only one who ever experienced him giving me a key to our new house then taking it away. And every time I wanted to go to the store & he'd say why? Who u meeting there?

[@beautifully_averagepanda4427]

I understand this completely. When I was married he wouldn't let me drive, wouldn't give me a house key and wouldn't get a joint account so I couldn't spend anything with his permission. His favorite line was, " What are you going to do for me?" After my divorce I wound up in another bad relationship. 🙄 Crazy what we put up with sometimes when we think we are loved.

[@yayitsmaria]

@@beautifully_averagepanda4427 I was at the drs office one day & texted me said stay at whatever man's house you're at! I sent him a pic of me @ Dr & but when I got home I was locked out the house. 2 weeks later I left & new gf had moved into our new house. He had it all set up.

[@beautifully_averagepanda4427]

@@yayitsmaria Wow what a piece of work! Im sorry he did that to you. Don't let it turn your heart hard. It's hard I know. Being a loving person and choosing to be is your power. I pray we all find piece and happiness with the right person one day.

[@yayitsmaria]

@@beautifully_averagepanda4427 and to you as well. Never settle! It's been 7 months I'm still single don't date & they're engaged. When for 3 years he wouldn't marry me. Sometimes I regret being faithful & submissive to him. Funny thing is I was never "allowed" to have social media but then they flaunt it all over social media. I always asked him to show us off on social media & he refused always excuses ...me not knowing he had single on FB. My friend sent me a screenshot. Wasn't long after that that he kept accusing me of cheating. And said his FB status changed on it's own. I was locked outta the house that day also. He had embarrassed me in public on FB & I had enough. 10 days later new gf was in our house they're posting it up all over social media. When he wouldn't even put "in a relationship" on there while he's with me. Brags bc hes engaged and taunted me bc I am single.

[@beautifully_averagepanda4427]

@@yayitsmaria Aww I'm sorry.💓 She must have had something like a lot of money. I was with mine 4 years with saying we'd marry but it never happened. I think its because I didn't have enough money and he couldn't keep a job or just didn't want to work. If I had money I do think he would have married me. He didn't like I had Facebook and he always said he didn't have social media accounts and turns out he had several. You did the right thing. You don't need to see what he posts. Chances are that relationship wont work. I'm not dating yet either and it's been about a year. I want to heal myself to make sure it doesn't happen again.

[@sylviacrout5072]

Joke is on my malignant narcissist when it comes to isolating me from everyone bc IM AN ONLY CHILD so I’m use to being by myself!! lol…… and if that so called friend quits being around you then we’re they really a friend to begin with?? That’s my thought process!

[@emmamonroe3311]

Wow! They do this. OMG!🤡🤡🤡👈🏻

[@rebeccalucas6063]

Yes

[@emmamonroe3311]

@@rebeccalucas6063 do you think coverts would do that after the love bombing was over?

[@DrPhilGoode]

@@emmamonroe3311 control is their end game for the love bombing. They love bomb so they can control. It ALWAYS goes back to control.

[@emmamonroe3311]

@@DrPhilGoode wow, thank you. I didn’t know this. It’s all so very flustering becuz I’m not one to be controlled, but maybe he knew this. IDK.

[@inhisservicegodis3287]

3 clowns, lmao just off

[@theresamurphy3351]

Why do they threaten to leave when you confront them on something that you’re right about? (Example:cheating)

[@doriangrey9702]

Its ok if they leave us cuz its in their control. If we beg them to stay, they get supply from our emotional reaction and they feel powerful cuz they are in control of our emotions. Its all about them having control and feeling powerful over others.

[@obi5025]

They want honor 😏 who died and made them gods. This entire thing about supply is so strange. I can't get it.

[@poloman888]

pffft...please put "romantic/partner narc' on your title, as I was expecting family of origin narcs. and for those, 'narc ex, narc spouse, narc bf/gf problems, just LEAVE.