Narcissists Are 100% Done With You Forever After They Do This | NPD | Narcissism | BehindTheScience

[@jonathanarmen-xi2dx]

When you get free of a narcissist it is time to party and love a great life forward

[@Marzolienterprises]

Looking forward to this 🥳

[@spaideman7850]

they will never leave you until you are totally destroyed (image, status and financially)

[@Swat-se3nu]

Can't party when false allegations are used but self projection of themselves and yes they do not stop until you are fully destroyed in all aspects of your life

[@hankhill3417]

If someone can fall asleep right after hurting you…. That’s the sign

[@lilfairycupcake]

sign should read, get rid of them immediately.

[@salisiharmony]

That’s exactly what he did, every time.

[@lilfairycupcake]

@Joanne Banham leaving, then cutting all ties to them is the only remedy to the situation.

[@lilfairycupcake]

@Joanne Banham totally understand. i did a off and on relationship w mine for 8yrs. off and on in the sense that i would not put up w her crap, and dumped her at least 8x before the last straw. my stupid for always taking her back. the more you understand about narcs, "education" the better off you are.

[@lilfairycupcake]

@Joanne Banham one of the positive bi products of both your, and my situations is once you truly know, u can see one coming from a mile away. they all operate on the same level, using pretty much the same tactics.

[@carolb3869]

Being involved with a narcissist can be extremely dangerous!

[@GammyTo1]

Absolutely spot on! Just a quick brief synopsis of what happened.... Over the course of five years the last three years was hell! I kept believing him when he would cry or say he's going to commit suicide and I would always go back... I dropped 17 felony charges on him and the officers said the next call will be the coroner's office. He's going to kill you! I did not believe them.... On February 22nd of this year he almost murdered me. He held a gun to my head Chambered loaded ready to fire finger on the trigger to my head.... He put a knife to my juggler vein He started ripping my hair out so I'm kind of bald in the back and a little on the top. He busted my right ear drum and threw a 7 pound Box at my face..... I had to sneak on a broken iPhone that he broke but it dialed 911. The cops came knocked on the door and said they heard a thud The thud they heard was my head going in the wall. Of course I could not answer the door with the knocking. I had to call 911 again. This time they knew something was wrong and they brought swat to my home and there were 17 officers outside my home. He ran at them with a gun up in the air and a knife in the air running at them they shot him with A rubber bullet then taste him in the private parts to make him go down... The actual sheriff came he knew me from all the domestic violence that I had been through with him and he broke his arm and said... how. Does it feel to get your ass whipped by a real man? He didn't say a word and sat on the ground shaking The indictment just came in and hes getting 32 years That's on one charge and he has 7 and they have to be tried separately. Anyone dealing with this listen to me. Please run Sprint get out of it I'm telling you I'm done. I'm done with this man. I went back and went back until he almost killed me get away. I'm telling you guys now get away they are dangerous.

[@GammyTo1]

EDIT THEY TASED HIM

[@GammyTo1]

​@Frederick mentalhealness Dr Les Carter Dr Ramani Mental Healness is a narcissist.... You should check the guy out.

[@lilfairycupcake]

being involved w one has a 100% failure rate. ive known many, non of them dangerous unless u are fearful of 3yr old cowards, because thats what they are. if u fear one, u r afraid to stand up to them, or anyone else.

[@carolb3869]

@@lilfairycupcake Unless when you do ‘stand up to them’, they assault you (to cowardly attempt to control you). #violenceagainstwomen Men who hit/assault/beat women are the weak ones. It’s a serious and common problem. They are cowards, yes! Btw: I called 911 and law enforcement charged him. I guess that’s one way of standing up to HIM.

[@user-kz4ji3yo1x]

It is horrible to be fooled by a narcissist, but it really highlighted how much work I need to do on myself to not let others determine my happiness, or how I should feel about myself. Self love is the answer

[@Mental_Alchemist]

Don't be so hard on yourself. It's easy to assume that most people think similarly to you insofar as how to treat the people that you love. As a loving person, you often give grace and assume that mistakes are really just mistakes or misunderstandings. It takes having the mind of a narcissist (or being duped by one for long enough) to understand the mind of a narcissist.

[@ValerieMarsh-nx5qr]

This is what I am working on

[@Kingdom_of_God777]

and a whole lot of Jesus ✝️🙏

[@MsRexsmurphy]

Prayer will get you through this! Jesus loves you❣️ 🙏💕🥰

[@user-kz4ji3yo1x]

@@Mental_Alchemist Thank you, appreciate you and your kind words. You're right, I shouldn't need to change myself because of someone else's selfishness, especially when showing them love and grace as you said. Giving Love and grace are very important in life. Thank you, ☺️🙏 x

[@DeeFizzy21]

Rather be broken for a year than to suffer for the rest of my life

[@TheREALLibertyOrDeath]

For sure.

[@michaeljackson7361]

No doubt

[@paradise6606]

You were never broken because a narcissist crazy fucker came into your world. Just be grateful you only let them waste a year of your life. And not a lifetime.

[@ashtonandthehelms2777]

Yup

[@billzco6137]

Amen brother. I think I added 2 more months to it out of share will to show I'm trying. I saw the real her when she said she had something more important to do the day before my sisters funeral. I still pushed on through her birthday and valentines and anniversary. Then she said something that made me snap and no matter what she says she still won't acknowledge what she said is wrong. And for that if I went back I'm the fool. So I don't. And that's just the main event that broke me. Everything you hear from the videos she was doing. It would be a book if I kept saying all the other red flags. And that's my fault for over looking them for that long. It honestly felt like living a lie for over a year.

[@AricaStrong-nz5od]

Narcissists are never done with getting supply from anyone. When they lose their other supply they will come back around.

[@karenchandler4717]

I have always wondered this...thanks for this very comment.

[@kanamenoname210]

Does that work with online supply too? Ones they never met?

[@Deezyduffus]

Yeah back around to what cause it won't be me

[@VoiceOvaGuy]

@@kanamenoname210 Any form of attention or affection is a win for them. Even insulting them or arguing with them is just going to give them the satisfaction of watching you react in a negative way. Think of it like this, narcissists born from trauma are very disconnected from their emotions, they don't really feel much of anything. Negative emotions they can feel maybe half as much as a normal person, but positive emotions don't happen on their own. Due to this numbness, but the human desire to *feel* , they try to absorb those feelings from others. But since they can't legitimately feel positive emotions themselves, everything they do is manipulation. And if they can't feed off your positivity, they'll make do with your negativity.

[@YOUR-WORD-IS-YOUR-BOND]

Try to!

[@caralee2617]

In the beginning - It's like finding the most sincere kindest person in the whole wide world. They are nice and gentle. They are affectionate. They will cuddle you and hold you. A couple months in you will notice that they seem to lack in the intimacy department but you will dismiss that to shyness. They will mimic/mirror your style of communication & you the entire time (which goes unnoticed until they become distant with you & use new words). I learned that If you express intimate emotions they will say “I feel the same way for you too or I would do the same thing for you or I love you just as much or I'm glad to hear that.” Which feels insincere and robotic. However you might dismiss that to shyness or inexperience expressing feelings (even tho they could be gorgeous & clearly experienced with women). They will never voluntarily just express their love for you in their own words and say how much they love or miss you. Very rarely will you get an “I miss you" or ” love you" for no reason at all. You will wonder why? Like do they have any feelings? So, you find yourself working harder to make them feel more safe & more loved in hope's that they provide that love back to you. It's easy to dismiss them withholding as a lack of trust or insecurity because they seem so nice. You will look for logic in behaviors and with Coverts there is never any logic which will lead your further down a rabbit hole creating confusion. In time you will start to doubt your own perception of what you see and lack the clarity to see the abuse. You will have more anxiety, lack inner peace & feel tired. Your physical appearance might change where you either gain or lose weight. You struggle to keep yourself at peace. Its exhausting. By now, you have became an expert at everything they like. You take on all the chores and make their life as easy as possible. You feel isolated too b/c they kept you “away". You feel so confused b/c you worked so hard to break down their walls in hopes of a more consistent close bond with them. One day they seem really into you and the next they withhold affection. It's hard trying to figure out what is wrong. The more you vocalize your feelings the more they encourage you with their words that everything is ok. You certainly don't feel “ok" but you make peace with it the best you can and start “withholding” your feelings too b/c they have made you feel like your “too" sensitive and it's too much! Most of the time it will feel like they are present in the flesh but nothing else is going on inside them. Even after all this time you've been together you still feel like you don't really know them. If you happened to gain the courage at a later time to ask more questions as to why things still feel off they will say your being insecure & that they aren't cheating and make you feel like you have issues. If you cry they will watch tv, stare at their phone or even continue to eat dinner. They won't ever give you all their undivided attention & acknowledge your pain. Which makes you more confused bc their actions doesn't match their words. They won't look at you while you cry, they seem like it causes them shame to see you cry. At times you might feel like your having to teach them about feelings as if they were a child. You will wonder why their emotional intelligence seems very immature/off. Everything they have is something you also don't have access too. Their family, phone, friends, bank accounts, pay stubs, credit card statements, and etc. You will start off feeling like they are very private or insecure & years in it now feels like they are super secretive b/c it makes no sense for them to still be so private. They promise things that they don't see through or conveniently feel bad or forget everything that is important to you. They will isolate you and hide their relationship with you. When you express that something about what they are doing isn't right then they act like they lack understanding and that they do nothing to hurt you. You will always be explaining everything and wondering why they just don't get it! They will even use apologies as a form of manipulation. (lack of empathy and no change to their behavior). You will always feel like you need to phone a friend to ask if your situation is normal because this person will give you $200 to pamper yourself but won't invite you to Christmas dinners or let you have access to their phone. They will leave/abandon/ghost you to say they are sleeping at a relative's house then on their way home they will offer to bring you breakfast or something from the store. Even their giving is a form of manipulation. They want to distract you with gifts to keep you off balanced from the emotional abuse they are putting you through. When you ask them why they didn't come home they will say they felt like you didn't want them around or etc. You will spend the entire relationship wondering how someone who seems like such a nice person can be so emotionally cold. Moreover, People wonder why they end up hurt, seriously hurt, and even killed for their own actions. Cheating is a choice and there’s simply a lot of ignorance in the process.... Thank you so much for helping me out Barryinvestigation@gmail. com. Your advice and services helped me so much. You are a lifesaver !!! The information you gave me about my cheating partner when you gave me access to his phone was everything I needed to get,.. thank you very much..

[@pope1089]

They spoil everything onpurpose, take the good out of it. Even going to the shop with them has to be a fn hassle

[@pope1089]

Talking to them for hours about important things and they never hear a word, they go off then an take advice off some idiot, all done onpurpose

[@qaisarafashion]

Wow.. I read everything..the situations very similar to me. Wow.. I felt betrayed😂 his my ex now. Wow... Now his married to someone only few months after our breakup. we have been together for 8 years. Hahaha. I'm completely mental break discover who he is actually Waaa..

[@bobbyt7448]

What a long post. Just saying 😮

[@chrisspi555]

​@@bobbyt7448 I think its a fake. They only want to lure us to the Email address so they can make money from us . The key words (" thanks for giving me access to his telephone ") want to make us believe they can hack the narcissists Phone...

[@joeboxter3635]

No! A narcissist is never done with you. They are still bad mouthing you. They may even act nonchalant like they have done nothing wrong, but they will instinctively scheme and act on any stray opportunity. They will attack the very first opportunity you give or they can get. So they are counting on you to be foolish enough to think they've moved on.

[@shareece9592]

That’s what i was thinking

[@brokenandbeautiful2114]

My ex and I separated for 4 years now. Our divorce isn’t done yet. For the reason of him keep taking me to the court with all these baseless legal matter.. he is using our poor child as a pawn to hurt me.. I already moveon and happier now but him look like homeless and depressed. But yea he continue to manipulate and abuse us mentally. I will never give up and I will be strong for my kids. i wont let his hate ruin me.

[@w8what575]

It’s been almost 15 years and my ex had gotten my oldest son to chime in on making me out to be a monster…idk what they’re saying but it’s got people literally out for blood…I believe my son was even trying to kill me by putting pain killers in my food/coffee creamer…he held a knife to his own throat and was screaming in his little brothers face that his brother and I are why his life was so horrible…he wanted to live with his dad but his dad didn’t want him and he blamed us….it’s just dawned on me that my sons friend had access to some strong pain killers that his friends mother took for a broken back…his frinds ends mother passed away during her sleep in 2017….and I noticed I haven’t had any of the episodes where I wouldn’t wake up for 24-30 hours straight since his friends mother passed away and he hasn’t spoken to that friend since then…..my son is the epitome of evil

[@latronyahollins5292]

I agree

[@thinkingallowed1st]

​@w8what575 wow scary sh1*

[@frankdavf4599]

BROKEN CHILDREN...

[@margottfon330]

No! They're born that way..

[@NatureRelaxation87]

@@margottfon330 No they are not.

[@urosopacic1403]

Demons

[@BismillahirRahmanirRaheemB]

Until we find love in ourselves we won’t know what true love is

[@FreddieFreethinking]

Correct.!

[@PeterShaw-ne1yq]

Narcs cannot love anybody🤔

[@metteroansyvertsen3728]

True❤

[@Deezyduffus]

Fuck love

[@ramonacristescu7172]

❤

[@artluvr6170]

So true. People with personal attachment issues can easily fall into relationships with narcissists.

[@themoonbleu627]

Yesss

[@sadehaley2589]

Yup that was me unfortunately

[@mare2723]

Yes and it’s life-threatening. I’m fighting for a reason to stay alive I hurt every day

[@macnchessplz]

Absolutely, until you realize that is why you got involved and resolve it.

[@VoiceOvaGuy]

@@mare2723 God is always there, if you seek Him

[@jeffvaljean6030]

The sad thing is there are so many out there now but once youve been bitten and you become aware life will never be the same again spotting them becomes so easy and they are growing in number

[@HeismyShepard]

Wow! I’ve been wondering about this! Must be a body-snatcher type thing.

[@Anawebster86]

😂 growing like mice

[@VoiceOvaGuy]

I heard about 10% of the population. 10% of 8.1 billion is over 800 million narcissists.

[@baileysmith6330]

This is so true! After dealing with one you've dealt with them ALL! Can smell them a mile away and it doesn't take long to spot the red flags in the beginning before it's too late

[@forensik5081]

My mother was probably the worst covert narcissist ever I am 33 years old still trying to recover from the trauma.

[@flemutter7211]

38 here. Recovery isn’t linear. Had to cut off (gladly) my whole family bcos of her. They recruit other family members to abuse you. Made me stronger and gave me stress inoculation. Hard times are coming and that trauma is about to be put to good use.

[@ceciliao3158]

I am 70. My mother was abandoned emotionally, probably sexually abused by her brothers but never spoke of it due to shame. Her narcissistic evolved self did toxic damage to her 4 daughters, she was plagued with envy and airs of superiority. We grew up believing that was normal. My relationships were usually narcissists. I have been in counseling for 15 years and I am so grateful that my counselor is spiritually minded and has helped me forgive and understand myself and all those like my mom. I think my journey was to rise above all the effects so I could help my own children. Generational patterns are hard to break but there is victory at the end if one determines to identify and establish honest love and healthy behaviors. There is a bright light at the end of the tunnel and I am so glad to be out in the sunshine before I transition from this world.

[@sll110]

@@flemutter7211 me too

[@lorrainem8234]

🙏🏻🤗🙏🏻

[@judiththymes1532]

I'm thinking of putting together a book with stories like yours. Would you like to participate? My own mother was an angel to every one she met, while being overly critical behind closed doors. I empathize with you.

[@salisiharmony]

My ex covert narcissist tried to kill me. They are extremely dangerous.

[@ninath13]

Destroyed my character and tried to destroy my life devils and hide it well how sick...

[@amywelsh2142]

agreed, that commenter is i'll informed and should not be giving such bad information that could possibly put ppl in dangerous situations...my narc husband admitted that he planned to kill me and he did kill 2 ppl! serving 2 life sentences so don't believe anyone that says narcs aren't dangerous

[@vickigonya9432]

Yes they are. I'm glad you survived!!

[@Stubbornclarity]

​@@ninath13same here! He tried to kill me more than once. But remember that you're a better stronger more empathetic person than they ever could hope to be! Wishing you health and happiness and healing.

[@August_2456]

Oh my 😢

[@adolfohernandez5970]

Plot twist: the whole world is narcisistic.

[@B4LOL-p8l]

10% of people actually. But that’s 1 in 10! It’s a lot of people!

[@VoiceOvaGuy]

@@B4LOL-p8l That's over 800 million with our 8.1 billion population. No wonder there's so many lawyers and politicians haha

[@Jackhammer-y8h]

I Agree

[@2192404Chemestrie]

​@@B4LOL-p8lit's actually 1 in 6.

[@austinking9912]

@daddysullivan87both parties

[@bradwilliams4919]

This is exactly my wife! Uncaring and distant. Controlling and extremely jealous. Kept me from my family. She was having an affair with one guy, then another. Very disrespectful!! Constantly lying.

[@SlimSigtrig]

Wow dude that’s so messed up how did u find out she was cheating

[@JLP139]

Get rid of her man

[@jordanedgeley6601]

Get out immediately or be a pathetic loser for the rest of your life

[@LearningCurbDFW]

Hope she’s still not your wife? If so you’re allowing the disrespect

[@mariajames5884]

Question...Why are you still with her?

[@PeggyMorgan-n7b]

ALL things are possible with GOD. ❤️🙏

[@michaelhalbert3843]

I've been in a relationship for 25 years. The mirroring stopped 17 years ago. But, I thought...relationships require work, I'm going to work on this. But after trying my very best I have been insulted, hit, screamed at, ignored, etc. There is not love left. There is no trust left. Yet we still live together. It's horrible. When I finally extricate myself from this situation there will be no more romantic relationships for me. I am done. I've been kind of destroyed.

[@12567NoYouCannot]

Weird; because You would Never Work on a Relationship with a Woman like Me. Men LOVE their Narcissists. Actually, Men LOVE to marry Narcissists; the Good Women they disrespect and find Boring. If You Stayed there with the Same Narcissist is because You are the typical One who LOVES your narcissist.

[@12567NoYouCannot]

If You are a Man; you will do what ALL Males Do; they LOVE their Narcissists and let's face it; Men Get TURNED ON BY NARCISSISTS. LOL, you LOVE your narcissists; and then after You Supposedly "Leave" them; You never forget them and then MAKE ALL the GOOD WOMEN PAY for ALL the EVIL the narcissist that you LOVE DID TO YOU.

[@12567NoYouCannot]

I do Not feel Sorry for You if you Stayed there for Quarter of a Century; the SEX MUST BE AMAZING.

[@ep3629]

@@12567NoYouCannot wow, I never looked at it that way, yet my narc husband treats me just as you described.

[@suzannetidei9450]

@@12567NoYouCannot this is not a man/men thing, this is a codependent thing, or "self-love deficit", as Ross Rosenberg describes in his book, "The Human Magnet Syndrome". "Extreme takers" and "extreme givrers" is another term you will find applied to those with narcissistic and codependent tendencies, respectively. Both sides of the coin are coping mechanisms developed in childhood in response to trauma and/or neglect. I am truly sorry you feel hurt and frustrated, but let's make the comments section a safe place for people who are wounded enough already.

[@TerriLynch]

Yeah sometimes you don't see it till it's too late. This is very true and on point.

[@sonjabryant2567]

Same here Narcissistis DONE ✅ been done

[@erikawithee]

Just because you were abused by a narcissist is a child doesn’t mean you’re gonna be a narcissist

[@themoonbleu627]

Duh

[@Linguae_Music]

It increases the likelihood that you develop it as a defense mechanism. It's like the saying "Hurt people, hurt people"

[@VoiceOvaGuy]

People have survived spears going straight through their heads. So yeah, it's for sure possible. But the chances of you emulating your parents narcissism as a cope to the trauma is MUCH higher than a child in a healthy family turning into a narc.

[@margottfon330]

💯👍👍👍💯 They're born this way, abuse creates ppl with CPTSD( ppl, who can be run over by ayone), not NPD! 🙉🤕 sick of writing this and more. Please, everyone read the Behavioral School, for your own sake. All the othe BS is very danaging!

[@margottfon330]

​@@Linguae_MusicNO!! NO!! please, read Behaviorals, please

[@elenaalexander449]

The teachings on referring to Narcissist's as evil or demonic is inline with the truth and Scriptures. Call a tree what it is. Thanks for your teaching.

[@Richard-vq7ud]

Yes. I wish we had more videos on this. This is not mental illness. They are being driven by demons from hell.

[@audrelyngrace1695]

Amen

[@saintejeannedarc9460]

I think it's a personality disorder. Mental illness can make a person pretty destructive too until it's dealt w/. I know the trauma they cause, but it does me no good to see him as evil. He can't see his way out of this and is a Christian. What this author said at 3:07 is so true, it does us no good to call them evil and demonic. It is harsh and dismissive. It gives us an excuse to not see them as people too, like they do to us. We are objects to them and we let our trauma and bitterness get in the way, we simply see them as monsters who do it all on purpose. i don't think they do. I can forgive, but that doesn't mean I have to forget or let the abuse continue. May you all find healing. God bless.

[@elenaalexander449]

@@saintejeannedarc9460 Understood. Even Christ called out evil and demons for who and what they were. He addressed the religious people of his day . " Why do you not understand my words? You are of your father the devil and and the will of your father you will do. He was a murderer from the beginning and the truth abode in him not. When he speaks a lie he speaks his native tongue. He is the father of lies." Paraphrased. To coddle evil is only to allow that evil to grow. If you over coddle a child you don't allow the child to independently grow up. The mental illness of Narcissists who have no conscience, empathy, no consideration of another's life or well being is evil. Narcicissts who come to deceive , steal, take another's life or destroy is evil. That's a description of satan. The epitome of evil. Evil begets evil and then gives birth to insanity. You're gifted and blessed to be able to work with anyone with a malignant mind. Like Jordan Peterson's. That's not all those who have endured the the pain and sufferings at the hands of evil people. They have to heal. They should be provided more understanding and consideration not excuses for those who enjoy harming other's.

[@elenaalexander449]

@@saintejeannedarc9460 I don't understand your statement. A Christain cannot be a Narcissists. Two different spirits. The narcissistic spirit comes from satan, lucifer. A spirit unable to bow to Christ. Usurper. Proud. Thrown out of heaven. Christ's people are always provided a way out of every sin or wrong that comes to overtake them. Christian's are far from perfect but , not evil.

[@AngelEyes-qe9ux]

They try to destroy you

[@nataliehenson3756]

And do

[@Shirley-t9b]

Some narcs are molly codled and turn out to be golden child no abuse over loved

[@mikeputnam2994]

Yes! Loved ones who care enough to research this should not have to fear that they mistreated their relative. Most parents do the best, I believe, that they can.

[@traceygreene1269]

I dated a guy for just about 3 months. He started off great but I started noticing he was jealous and controlling. He would get mad and would go days without responding to my calls or texts. He recently got mad and has now ignored me for over a week and has just disappeared altogether. He has abandonment issues due to his mother dropping him off at a grandparents house and never looked back I for sure believe this plays a huge role in who he is as an adult. He just leaves relationships without any closure because his mother did this to him.

[@NKRAIEM]

I got mirrored big time. She used to call herself a chameleon, and I had no idea that she was spelling out her disorder. And it's also sad.

[@stardustdreams234]

The other day I got into a heated argument with my narcissist and I called her a snake. She had the damn audacity to tell me if I'm going to refer to her as a reptile to call her a chameleon. SMH

[@MKmetalhead22]

Sadly, narcissistic people usually give you details to how it will be and how it will end.

[@themoonbleu627]

Do you know your attachment style is it fearful avoidant ?

[@Métaphores007]

I CANT just imagine… my narc ex has written on the Facebook bio - chameleon, no moral compass pointing due north etc etc. How similar and typical they are !

[@voiletwhitehorse]

When they ditch you completely for a relationship, and when you speak up,the blow up at you,shouting that your jealous ,

[@seanhammer6296]

It's not unhealthy to blame the narcissist. They deceived you the entire time.

[@herminablackstock]

They're not the only person that have problems during their childhood,in my opinion I think are Reptillians

[@ninath13]

Lizzards

[@dontbeadogsbody3564]

It’s funny, you say that. The words of lady Diana ring in my head ever since filing for divorce. “There were three of us in this marriage.” And that the royal family were reptilian, not human. My in-laws were the weirdest weirdos ever. Not one of them normal. Again, I was too accepting an empathetic. Every single family member I met should have been a big red flag on fire. But because it seemed, my husband recognized it as well, I figured he must be normal. I want a City Slickers life “do over”.😂

[@Linguae_Music]

@@dontbeadogsbody3564 Are you saying they were literally not human? Or metaphorically not human, as in, lacking humanity? Because i don't think they were actually lizard people lmao

[@dontbeadogsbody3564]

@@Linguae_Music I’m saying they might as well be reptilian.

[@belinda510]

Yes

[@frankdavf4599]

the love bond is missing in these beings. Never received love, charising, hugs, and certainty of security being protected by affection

[@spaideman7850]

Never ever get a narcissist partner, its a CURSE, not only your generation, but the following generation of your descendent as well.

[@VintVarner]

I am that narcissistic and i know part came from growing up in a house with a alcoholic father and toxic/ narcissistic mother (her true narcissistism didnt fully pop out till after i turned 21) But im not putting blame on them, my bad choices are on me And in wanting everything, i lost everything. And being hooked on sleeping really sent me spiraling. And i do feel pain, every moment of everyday. I did have it all and lost it. I am the monster, my biggest fear was being all alone in life and ive pushed,used,manipulated, bad friend, bad husband. Im finally getting the help i needed, it took a broken hip to do it. Its so bad i spent my 50th birthday in the hospital and i was alone and thats all on me. I do feel pain and i do have empathy, those never left even at my worst, i showed affection and meant it. Thats why i call myself a monster, how can i be a manipulator and hurt peopke when i also feel the pain i put them thru?

[@solicitedadvice1771]

Thank-you for your sincerity. I hope you find healing on all levels and a love for the innocent part of you that has and always will remain.

[@bonaparte54]

that's true you can't manipulate or hurt, no one can, only the ignorance in people about which are true values can hurt them and not being able to recognise when someone is suffering because they are suffering too, like what happened to your parents

[@vkrgfan]

There are two types of Narcissism, one is caused by abuse and emotional neglect and another one is hereditary, some people are born this way, and they have differences in their brains. So, a person who became like this because of their parents, has empathy, somewhere deep down. usually, they come to a painful realization later in life when they aren't able to manipulate anyone anymore and run out of their supply. However, those who have a hereditary psychological abnormality will never realize that, they will never feel any regret or remorse even on their death bed.

[@sajo476]

@@vkrgfan I don’t think he’s narcissistic by the way because usually narcissistic people they don’t know that they are narcissistic and they feel that they are the only right people and have no idea how bad they are and how bad their actions are towards others

[@thegardenguide2650]

U r not a narcissist I think

[@carloshenry337]

You cannot just give up on yourself just have Faith in The Most High as he is always watching. 💯

[@edmckay8001]

The almighty narcissist

[@VoiceOvaGuy]

@@edmckay8001 And deservedly so. If you create the world and everything in it, you get that privilege. Especially when you're omniscient and know everything, including what's right from what's wrong. At that point it's no longer narcissism under it's definition, but righteousness. People's narcissism is predicated on their damage or ego, God's "narcissism" is based on Him literally being perfect and knowing everything while wanting what's best for us, never at our expense.

[@taylorpresley4604]

One thing I have learned about narcissist, don't ever ever expose them. I did and now I have a smear campaign on the net forever.

[@CBraximus]

Sue

[@RaptureReadyforJesus-qv2ql]

I exposed the x narc and could care less who does not like me. The flying monkeys can talk til they are blue in the face. All these finally move on.

[@scruffscrofula]

Much, much fewer (if any) read what they have to day, and even fewer believe any of it. Normal people don't believe them anyway.

[@TheGra325]

Same

[@DivyaRajan-l3h]

Smear campaigns are relentless and only gets worse with time!

[@kokocherrycola6310]

It adds an extra layer or two of complexity when the narcissist you are dealing with is your family member. Definitely not easy but you learn quick!

[@TinkyBreak33]

They can ignore you crying.

[@ingridakerblom7577]

Dealing with a malignant one.. it was awful to realise..

[@franknardi3230]

I dont think they are a demon i think they have one controlling them!

[@irisrose4732]

Just one? I believe it's multiple in some. It's like the same beings within different men coming in the way of my path. Like the Twilight Zone ore something, to the point of being led right up to them, and them saying things to me, verbatim mind you, which previous narcs had said to me. I recently fell right into the trap with another one, after avoiding dating for a long while, and got very hurt. I realize that the red flags were completely ignored by me, especially after binge watching Dr. Sam Vaknin, the OG expert that wrote the book on narcs, and is one himself. He tells it like it is, and he said that within the first few minutes of meeting someone, you know what you need to know about them; he said that the red flags are there, but we just ignore them. Once I get over this pain, I am not sure that I trust my own judgment anymore, but I also can't be broken. I obviously need to keep working on myself and take it from there.

[@margottfon330]

Maybe, the fact is the illness controls them, BUT not there 'insecurities'. They are NOT insecure!! Behavioral School Authors, please.

[@JennaRoberts-wb4py]

​@irisrose4732 look at trace face-it's videos. What you described happened to me. Narc abuse, single 4 years, then another narc. It's spiritual warfare - These people are demonically possessed & we are being targeted by Satan's army. You have to test the spirits. Satan is clever and knows how to hurt us and maximize the harm. Please stop supporting and promoting a narc when you could promote a survivor

[@monicalee9659]

*Narcissist's can also evolve from being brought up spoiled rotten and never told "No," for their actions or behavior.*

[@belle6219]

They ARE demons and I am better than all of them.

[@Kat-D-Cap]

They have an addiction to sex. It’s sickening

[@nicselectronics81]

Glad it's over, never going back i'll try to rekindle the rest of the family but will not break no contact with "the one" or anyone associated with it.

[@RainFall-wz2yp]

The rape of my soul is ceaseless and impossible to run from, it goes with me everywhere. I am trapped in hell. NO ESCAPE!! Aching and dying for Bryan and the illusions he provided. I could weep and wail forever and ever for how much I ache for him, and miss the fantasy we shared.

[@gailspaw5521]

Yes What You Said is The Truth!!! I have never Hated My Ex Husband for being A Narcissist and I Took it As A Big Lesson

[@khushii8753]

Very good this should be the spirit

[@saintejeannedarc9460]

I think it's so true that we need to examine ourselves too, to figure out how we got into this type of relationship. Many comments I see the people are justifiably angry and bitter, but still need to find a way to get past that. I've dated a few too many narcissists, so that shows something w/ me that I'm attracting them and being attracted to them. I thought I'd learned to avoid and get out away from these types of people, but my last 10 year relationship was the worst ever and he was very narcissistic. I'd never been w/ someone that lied or cheated like that, so it was a real deterioration in the quality of person I was w/. I don't see him as a monster anymore, but I once did and I hated him for what he did to me. I won't trust him again, but I wish him well. He will most likely not get help or ever be able to stay in real relationship. I think they are capable of a type of love, but it's shallow and they don't know how to maintain it when issues come up. They want the high of infatuation and need endless validation, even when they are no longer able to give it. I just need to heal fully and trust myself again to meet the right type of person and fully recognize the red flags. One of the big ones is the rush of how they get so addicted to you and rush into committment and want to spend all their time w/ you from the getgo. This is flattering, but it's unhealthy. More slow and easy wins the race. The other big red flag was how he was bitter and blamed all his exes. Someone like that will always end up blaming you too. I was at peace w/ my past relationships. I still felt love for the long term ones, but recognized the issues that broke us up. I was on good terms w/ them all and he was the opposite. Other than that. It seemed like mutual love for at least the first 5 years. I didn't recognize how bad all the boundary issues were from the beginning though until the end. Still some reflecting and healing to do before I can safely date again.

[@mikimiki6202]

Just described me😢

[@saintejeannedarc9460]

@@mikimiki6202 Thanks for reading that wall of text, and I'm glad it spoke to you. I at least broke it up, since others seem to be resonating w/ it.

[@mikimiki6202]

@Sainte Jeanne d'Arc "spoke to me?" it's my exact same life, but I'm still here

[@saintejeannedarc9460]

@@mikimiki6202 I'm sorry to hear that. Do you think you're ready to get out soon and can you say why you're still in it if that's your life too?

[@moshidipatience7189]

Spot on. We need to work on ourselves too

[@kristinbeazley6538]

The excuse of having trauma as a child can not be the only reason we are having an epidemic of narcissistic people. Many many many people suffer abuse and trauma as children. Yet, many of these people turn out to be empathic people who also can experience remorse and guilt. Traumatic childhoods are not some sudden anomaly experienced mass wide as children of the baby boomer era. We are not addressing all of the causative factors which are creating impossibly toxic relationships, world wide. We can't fix this rising problem until we identify the problems correctly. If we don't change this epidemic asap, we will not have enough healthy people to maintain a civilized world.

[@maryfertig1271]

Right. Also, have seen one very narcissistic child and one very caring one from the same family, parents. I used to believe in nurture over nature, but after seeing that and many others in my 60 years now realize that many times it seems to be a gene passed on.

[@janedoe5229]

I don't believe it comes from trauma. I believe it comes from spoiling. On the other hand, if someone has a neglectful parent, or an indulgent parent, I think you get the same effect: a child that gets away with doing whatever they want, and they grow up to be a tyrant: "It's all about ME".

[@bonaparte54]

It's the values in people, the values in culture. People has never been as poor and miserable as nowadays. Calling happiness to be millionaire and to travel for leisure instead of improving the relationship with family, friends and the world. It's like "be millionaire, because no one is going to help you, to love you, just laugh at you". "Nothing is obtain through friendship and a common goal of happiness, just through money".

[@sajo476]

@@janedoe5229I agree

[@ukghconst]

​@bonaparte54 I like your comment. I don't think this is new. It is notbbeen categorised as mental disorder until now. It man's made issue, its becoming more apparent in the children of today. Look at the attitude of kids at school, from both poor class to the wealth. The wealthy abuse everything, even money, because the world is materialistic, God is not respected, man can create his future. The wealthy have interbreed, have control over every aspect of human life. Nobody is standing up to them, WEF, WHO, GATES & Co, all the billionaires, think God's. Where is this attitude nutured and taught though our education system, that to blame? They are taught self, pushed to achieve goals, no room for failure. Self-centered, self first, self gain, a blinked vision, hit the target at all costs, doesn't matter how you achieve it, no love in business, especially with family members. Self achievement, the world his yours. Only to look at the kids today, don't have respect for own parents, disrepect for laws. They are taught to treat life like abusiness, Money = power = control = respect.

[@Lionhart0067]

I just discovered that my Mother and my only sister are narcissistic sociopaths. I'm so broken, they've destroyed every aspect of my life, I don't know what to do.

[@denoragoodman8826]

Jesus will help you he will back them down you will be happy even in your situation he will give you the strength to cut them off and prey for them still Jesus Christ will heal you and Lead you

[@RaptureReadyforJesus-qv2ql]

@@denoragoodman8826amen!

[@RaptureReadyforJesus-qv2ql]

Be kind and patient with yourself. You will heal over time and will experience a better life. Call on Jesus to heal you. He will.

[@thegreypath1777]

Therapy

[@streaming5332]

😮Get a good therapist. You can't do it alone.

[@vkrgfan]

The "intimacy" was mostly in your head, there was no real intimacy with Narcissists, just an illusion.

[@Paris-gl1pm]

Facts.. they copy verbiage, manurisms...it's odd to see this from someone I once saw as greater than me. It was a mirror to show me how valuable I actually am. Once I was aware enough to see this oddity 😅❤. When you are genuinely kind it is confusing that someone could be inherently evil

[@lognemot1377]

I would hear him talk to others using the same phrases and logic that I use in conversation with him about topics he's not even versed in. I realized he was trying to appear like me, to others. 🧐🧐🧐

[@cincyfanjunglecity9871]

Being a narcissist is tied into so many other disorders. Sociopath, Dismissive Avoidant , Borderline Personality Disorder, and any others that I haven’t thought of here.

[@tarciocosta72]

True. Histrionic personality disorder as well. (HPD)

[@LisaMo-ms5vf]

Oh, Man, This is so very true, and then they turn i to psychopaths...

[@erikawithee]

They do lash out !!! ONE BIG LIE

[@themoonbleu627]

You need to worry about your son and stop obsessing over narcissist people

[@patricianarine1088]

I am married to one and everything u say is true and on point . Happy we are separated.

[@chaucerparks2042]

That's really interesting my Narcissistic Wife left me 4 months ago..SMDH

[@allans7281]

Yeah the telltale sign is they don’t volunteer how they feel about you they grill you with questions on how you feel and why you haven’t said a few things I had no idea but now I know

[@Dorothy35]

When a Narcissist has moved on: 1) The intimacy will be replaced by indifference, anger and hate. 3) They will already have moved on, chatting to a few others. 4) You feel the intimacy you experienced was fake. It was all a lie. We were blinded by our love and didnt see the red flags. 5)

[@jasonstone8222]

Bs. A person's childhood does not define how a person is at the moment. What a person does is what defines them. Just because a person had a bad childhood does not mean they are a narcissist. It is important to know what love is and love isn't in order to genuinely love. And anyone that truly loves you will not lie to you. It's impossible for any intentional liar to truly love anyone. And they their own worst enemy. Because when the lies are found out then trust has been broken. Is common sense you cannot trust a liar. Part of healthy happy relationships are built by honesty trust and respect. Respect begets respect. Anyone that intentionally lies to you is also disrespecting you. Evil is as evil does. Also I've come to understand that following 1 corinthians 5:9-11 is key to living a relatively narc free life. Actions do speak louder than words so paying attention to actions will help to identify liars. People that go thru life lying are indeed doing witchcraft on others to survive and get what they do not rightly deserve. Even when they say they love you it's a lie. They use others. Selfish agendas and hidden motives. But they will twist things around utilizing lies to defend their relationship crimes. Maintaining their innocence when indeed they are the victimizers.........yet they'll often use a victim mentality and project that they are a victim when Noone has done them wrong at all. Love is the absence of abuse. Narcs however utilize lies and lies are emotional abuse. Narcs demonize empaths or honest people with lies but an honest person will demonize a narc with truth. The only way to fight lies is with truth. But a liar will not accept the truth. And accuse you as a lie when in fact they lie. The truth always wins in the end tho. The narcs are draining. Very toxic. Liars cannot love themselves or God or anyone else. Rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft......lies are witchcraft (manipulation). Lies are evil or sinful. Is against the will of God. Even liars do not like being lied to. But often they believe people never change but the reality is that's a lie. And it's them that won't change so they go thru life getting others before they get them mentality. Instead of just doing what is right and being honest in all things.

[@saintejeannedarc9460]

Nope, even liars don't like being lied to. There are a few channels of self aware narcissists that now help people to understand the disorder. They mostly recommend you get out of the relationship, because most narcissists won't get counseling and do the hard work to become self aware, so they won't destroy the people close to them. These channels are Raw Motivations and Mental Healness. Hope that helps. I don't blame you being bitter. Been there for sure, but it feels much better to have found forgiveness, acceptance, but also a firm resolve that though I can find compassion, I'm out for good.

[@jasonstone8222]

Yeah it really sucks having narcissistic parents but ya know what I found the Truth and tried leading them that way but they wanna lie and be toxic I'm out.

[@sunnybrookfarm762]

Wow! Love is the absence of abuse!!!! That is spot on.❤

[@glynnth]

It seems the psychiatric community nowadays tends to avoid the reality of the HEREDITARY roots of mental illness, & now just prefers to blame everything on the "parents" & "upbringing". Tho they will BARELY acknowledge schizophrenia as having "possible hereditary origins", but they dont really like to talk about it, & you pretty much have to back them into a corner, to get them to admit it... Do you really believe ALL narcissists had terrible parents & upbringings? That rather defies the odds, doesnt it? Not to mention, it slanders & defames multitudes of parents! No, more likely they were BORN with behavioral issues, & 9 times out of 10, they arent the only narcissists in the family either, as this stuff tends to run in families, thru multiple generations. Tho mental illness may manifest in effected families, in various forms, with narcissism being just one example of how family dysfunctional behaviors may manifest. (And it all just comes down to hampered brain function, due to chemical imbalances & genetics) But to admit that many forms of mental illness are simply HEREDITARY, poses some sticky problems for psychiatry & society at large. For one, it tends to corroborate the now unpopular concept of "eugenics". Aka - inferior people CAN breed inferior children, & that is possibly something society COULD prevent, thru genetic intervention. But since "genetic intervention", in the past, crossed the boundaries of what was deemed humane, it is now a taboo & forbidden science. Even tho much of that science was factual & correct...it was simply the METHODS they used to attempt to TREAT the problems, that were deemed abhorrent. Aka - they resorted to outright murder, in some cases, & it was viewed as a civil rights violation, if those who WERE prone to passing on hereditary mental illness, were involuntarily sterilized. (And then the Nazis took up the cause, & turned it into a "racial purity" agenda) Yet the idea that some mental illness IS passed on thru heredity, remains a sound one, & one even modern psychiatrists cant fully deny. Because that FACT continues to manifest itself in undeniable ways, even today! Secondly, it becomes more costly for the state, if they are expected to pay out disability benefits, & provide special services to families who are pre-acknowledged as being prone to dysfunctional conditions. Better to sweep the "family psychosis" under the rug, pretend it doesnt exist, & save some money. (At least until someone goes so far off the rails, society has no choice but to intervene. Which is usually only after the sick person has grievously harmed or killed someone, or hurt themselves.) Thirdly, society itself could be held "accountable", at some point, if it fails to take preventative measures, in regards to what it KNOWS about how mental illness is generated. So best just to pretend they dont know, & look for a handy scapegoat to blame it all on - aka - the parents. And certainly the average narcissist will be happy to accomodate their efforts, as they are already prone to blaming all their errant behaviors on others. Way to set up the parents of mentally ill children, for inevitable failure! And this "epidemic of mental illness" we are currently experiencing, is only bound to get worse & worse, until the psychiatric community is willing to get HONEST about the root causes of mental illness, and society-at-large is ready, willing, & able to do what's necessary, to prevent it. Ergo - yes, they need to acknowledge that these conditions run in families, & genetic intervention is the ONLY way to break that cycle.

[@carpathianken]

@@jasonstone8222 I'm a liar because I feel like I have to be. Anything truthful that I tell the narcissist can & will get used against me. When I get asked personal & prying questions I shamelessly tell her lies & since doing so she's been less able to complicate my life as much. We can debate until the cows come home whether by telling lies that I'm going against God & making Jesus cry but narcissist's know we'll take the high moral ground & speak the truth & use our higher standards against us. That's why they've attached themselves to us in the first place

[@ArthurGraham-vy1ze]

I blocked the numbers of two narcissists recently. I don't want to hurt them only get rid of them. Then i found out someone else blocked me in retaliation for that. When I heard the gravelly angry sounding automated voice tell me I couldn't make the call, I gave myself a high five. The phone company did me a magnificent favor by pissing off my narcissists for me. That way my narcissists can't very easily accuse me of being suddenly mean. They can blame our service provider. LOL.

[@xoxotiffanyj4001]

wow childish much

[@Jewel22268]

We fight not against flesh and blood but against principalities, powers, and wicked spirits in high places. These wicked spirits influence human behavior-particularly if a door was opened to trauma and abuse. Only the person can choose to be set free. This is for all those that think it is strictly mentally or emotionally based.

[@pwlongdas2371]

My mom devastated our childhood and her marriage playing around..i observed it and her talking on phone tell stories. My sistet followed suit. She had five husband's. When the person i got involved seemed too familiar i should seen it. But i didn't. She cooked the same way as i saw my mother and sister cook. The attachment to her was deep, i was blindfolded to her malignant actions till dicard day. I think about what real love is and i can never find. And add unconditional to that love. I don't really know. But my friend once daid this,, the only thing "closest" to real love in this is that between a new born baby and mother. God is like that. No matter how much we shit on and blame Him, he still supplies all the necessities of life, for all species, unconditionally.

[@chautran2588]

There's no love with narcissists. Hatred and envy are the core of their personality. Murderers are the narcs with instant gratification, the rest of the narcs can kill us slowly so they don't get to spend their life time in jail.

[@saintejeannedarc9460]

It sounds like you need to do a lot of sorting yourself out to be able to get healthy enough to attract the right kind of relationship. I'm pretty sure my mom is a narcissist and her mom likely was too. That's likely why my aunt and both me and my sister all ended up w/ them. Not all my long term relationships have been w/ narcissists, but I've attracted a few too many, though I got out quick w/ them when younger and thought I'd learned to recognize it. Spent 10 yrs w/ the last one, so really have to do some healing work on me. I'll never trust him again, and also have to learn to trust my own judgment to not get into that same type of relationship. Love is slow and steady. I guess that was one of my red flags early on, because my ex was super affectionate and from 0 - 100 w/ me. The other red flag that I did notice as a flag, was he was bitter to all his exes and blamed them for break ups. I should have thought more of that alone. We have to learn to see the signs and really proceed w/ caution and get into things slower. I think only God has unconditional love, brother.

[@Nina-w7m8q]

I now understand how this narc shined a light on my mental health and forced me to take a look at my CPTSD and co-dependency.

[@VoiceOvaGuy]

Almost like some people are sent into our lives to act as mirrors to more clearly see ourselves. God works in mysterious ways as they say. I also had to come to terms with my lack of self love causing me to depend on someone for happiness. After that woman discarded me I fell into a bad depression following up a not as bad depression for the past decade or so. After that I found God, and after a few months of reading, praying, and having faith, I had an experience I can only explain as a powerful light in my chest that evaporated my depression, loneliness, hopelessness, and hate I was pointing at her (that was only hurting me). I hope things work out for you

[@raegladden3317]

If only it were that flipping easy!!!!

[@jackiepark4673]

I know narcissistic people whom had perfectly good childhood well loved,so that's not stemmed from childhood.

[@theresehill1660]

Yep so sick of "childhood" parent blame. IT only fuels the narcissism. I have 3 children only youngest daughter is narcissist. She is dangerous to the point after abusing me her whole life cut me off because I wouldn't tell social my condition had worsened so she could get my money to save her house during divorce. Lying to social security is a 5 year prison felony and 250,000 dollar fine. Said she didn't care. I was being selfish. Going on a year since she cut me off

[@themoonbleu627]

Yea it is you don’t know everything they went through

[@jackiepark4673]

@@themoonbleu627 I do ,one was my sister and she had a good childhood ,some people are born with this trait.

[@santoparfano1910]

We are all exposed to traumas even in the best of childhoods. But if a child is given excessive rewards to reinforce entitlement over and over again. If they are told they are special excessively by words, behaviors over and over it can develop into a pathology if their locus of control is external and their temperment is conducive. We dont know the exact reason for the formation of narcissism bc a situation that precipitated the formation of narcissism in one person might not in another. So there is a mix of nature/nuture in the formation of narcissism. My wife is a highly narcissistic individual who also claims to have a wonderful childhood. Yeah, it's very likely her parents pedestalized her consistently over years, overindulged her wants, didn't instill the need for her to respect and honor boundaries and house rules that everyone needed to follow. I kinda qualified in this topic as I have my clinical counseling degree and I was married to my highly narcissistic wife (soon to be ex) for years. Being with her propelled me to get my counseling degree. I had no idea what I was dealing with and when I learned about personality disordersi knew what I was dealing with.

[@santoparfano1910]

​@@jackiepark4673narcissism can develop from excessive overindulging and pedestalizing on a pathological level. If these kids with the right personality vs being taught that they are above the rules we all should follow, it could contribute. But at the end of the day there are alot of variables involved. But...overindulging is a factor.

[@audreydaleski1067]

Unbeknownst to her, it is 100% done.

[@mikeputnam2994]

Three narcissists i know were deeply loved, cherished, cared for, etc. as children. My daughter, her father, and her now husband who is so very reminiscent of her father are them.

[@andrewbeckman7687]

shame and fear are often unconscious drivers of behaviors that disserve them. Bringing gentle attention to the sneaky ways that shame shows up is often the first step toward living a more authentic and satisfying life. Shame - that gnawing sense of being flawed, defective, and unworthy of love - drives us to construct a self that we think (or hope) will be acceptable to others. Being rejected, banished, and humiliated are among the most painful human experiences. We may perpetuate our anxiety and exhaust ourselves trying to use our intelligence to figure out who we need to be in order to win the acceptance and love that we crave. Rather than relax into our natural, authentic self, we twist ourselves into knots in order to belong and feel safe. When our experience has taught us that it’s not safe to be authentic, we labor long and hard to design and polish a self that we think we be acceptable. For some people, this might be trying to showcase our cleverness, beauty, or sense of humor. For others, it might be amassing wealth or power to show the world how “successful” we’ve become. We may strive to be better than others or special in order to be loved. Trying to be someone we’re not is exhausting. Many of us have been so driven by shame to create a false self that we’ve lost touch with the goodness and beauty of who we really are. Shame and Authenticity Shame and authenticity go hand in hand. If we hold the core belief that we’re flawed, then this mental/emotional construct colors who we are and what we present to the world. Shame conditions us to lose touch with the spontaneous, joyful child within us. Life becomes serious business. Internalizing the message that there’s no room to be our authentic self, with its strengths and limitations, we move away from ourselves. Our sense of self-worth can only grow in a climate of affirming who we are, which includes validating the full range of our feelings and honoring our needs, wants, and human foibles. As we come to recognize when shame is operating and how it holds us back, it begins to loosen its destructive grip over us. Gradually, we can honor and stand behind ourselves, regardless of how others might judge us. We realize more and more that we have no control over what others think about us. Holding ourselves with respect and dignity becomes increasingly ascendant - displacing our real or imagined thoughts about how we’re being perceived by others. We discover how freeing and empowering it is to be our authentic self. The limitations of language make it difficult to talk about authenticity. The “authentic self” is really a misnomer. It implies that there is some ideal way of being and that we need to find our authentic self, as if it existed apart from our moment to moment experiencing. If we cling to a construct in our mind about what it means to be our authentic self, we’re missing the point. Being authentic is a verb, not a noun. It’s a process of mindfully noticing the ever-changing flow of experiencing inside us, apart from the contaminating influences of shame and our inner critic. We give ourselves full permission to notice what we’re feeling, sensing, and thinking in this moment of time - and we’re willing to congruently show that when it feels right to do so.

[@matthewfulton2931]

Just walk away that drives them nuts.

[@johnathanwathen4165]

I just got out of a relationship with one. She had no empathy for how i felt about things. She would shut down when she got mad and failed to communicate. Almost 100 percent sure she made a fake fb profile as another woman to set me up. Why? No reason. I found she had other men in her phone contacts that she dated or had sex with. I deleted all my exes. She couldn't do that. She knew how to hurt me and then would go to sleep and sleep great not caring i was going through hell. Then everything was my fault. She never admitted she was wrong.

[@Joe-hf3cn]

Very informative, balanced perspective. Painful to hear

[@margottfon330]

Behavioral School Authors, please, please...

[@Fioravanti.80]

Good post. I found therapy and 12 step program very helpful of regaining my Self after a Narcissistic/Karmic union. It is worth pointing out however that even those who are not NPD suffer from a Void. This Void is Toxic Shame. It is just that we are subconsciously trying to escape from this, into unconditional love which is what the Narcissist is mirroring back during the infatuation/idealisation phase. The distinction between a NPD and a Neurotypical (with Narcissistic traits) lies in their in/ability to self reflect, and introspect. The NPD is unable to cope with facing their Shame, stick with therapy long term, and use other tools like 12 Step spiritual programmes to change. Whilst the Neurotypical can because they not only have EGO, but also Superego, to form a moral/spiritual compass. Finally, we all need Narcissism EGO to survive and thrive. It only becomes malignant/destructive with NPD.

[@Linguae_Music]

Why do you need to be spiritual to change? xD I always thought the 12 step program was a bit odd, for that reason.... it's like they have two goals. 1. To push religion on people. 2. To convince them that the "higher power" is necessary to change (Gaslighting), which, can lead to the false belief that there is no way to acquire meaningful personal growth, without appealing to a magic wizard in the sky. Which essentially exists only in people's imagination, as it has no objective, demonstrable evidence supporting it. Which, ironically enough... is a bit narcissistic to require of a person. :P

[@Fioravanti.80]

Hmm. Interesting observation. From my experience, 12 Steps are not religious because they do not "push" religion of any particular kind on people (however they are inspired by Christian and Buddhist theology) -it is up to the person to choose their "higher power" which is above and beyond their EGO -to increase perspective. So it is really encouraging humility and compassion, but also encouraging a moral compass to form, as well as meaningful growth. Often the reason for getting involved with narcissists (or worse NPDs) is that, that person has growth to achieve (including Self Love, which many survivors of Narcissistic abuse lack) and lacks perspective; failing to see/appreciate the "red flags". Self Love is not Narcissistic pursuits of occupational achievement, validation from others either. It has to come from within and from a belief in a Higher Power. This is the "Higher Self". It is unconditional, emanating from Spirit and often not understood, unless one achieves a connection. Hence often, such dynamics are "a call" for spiritual growth (which the 12 Steps provide but one guide for -there are other guides too). From my experience, the steps also encouraged compassion for myself, NPDs, lifting within me, Anger Resentment and Fear towards them, but at the same time an understanding that they cannot be helped towards change, because sadly, they are often incapable of it. There is no point in holding on to these core Shame based emotions moving forward, because ultimately they cause nothing but harm to me (and possibly others). What is in your view "meaningful personal growth"? This is not a challenge by the way, I am just curious. Every person has their own personal growth to attain - we are all individuals, and in my experience, Narcissistic pursuits per se, or reading and watching countless posts about NPD served little. But each to their own ;) @@Linguae_Music

[@margottfon330]

Nope, they don't have any shame, otherwise the logic is list. Please, read Behavioral School Authors.

[@margottfon330]

​@@Linguae_MusicThat as you wish, but please, don't trust Psychoanalitics etc. Behavioral School Authors!

[@lafreeway]

Pretty much describes my marriage and the aftermath going through the divorce. I was clueless.

[@oceanelf2512]

I gave her too much credit, thinking she was mature enough to respect normal boundaries, and I was sorry for her as well because she was socially very inept. She always went on about how people abandoned her and she was always afraid of losing me. So much as I wanted her to back off, I put up with a lot that I shouldn't have. But when I cut off her supply, that's when her true colours came glaring through and my nagging suspicions confirmed. But it hadn't occurred to me that she could be a narcissist. Now I think she could be.

[@JoanMango]

They are full of demons. Pushing blame is not helpful. Denying the truth is not a good thing

[@emptyscythe5501]

no i dont care about anything else except myself lol why would i wonder that tf?

[@Godisgreat725]

33 years of it

[@bettieclayton825]

How why could you for 33dam years

[@Godisgreat725]

@@bettieclayton825 well because of the children then he threw me out and had me arrested he’s a retired police officer and used the system against me . Took my kids and I filed for divorce. I didn’t realize he was a narcissist I was 20 when I met him and he was 31.

[@leslietinyhousebuilderwann3851]

Yep my husband is talking and whatever else with another woman now. I knew I was over this when I didn’t even have a reaction other than that poor woman.

[@CatherineJenkins-nm3yr]

My ex husband and his mother were both abused by his father. One day my ex got home from school just in time to see his father put a gun to his head and shoot himself. All of his problems started there. He says that he doesn’t remember his father. I got the information from his Aunt. All of that trauma happened in the early 1960’s and was never talked about. I was married to him for 16 years and begged him to get counseling. Surprisingly he never got angry when I suggested he get help. I told him that he needed to get that ghost out of his system but he would never go to a therapist. He tried to keep me away from my family and friends, which didn’t work. I would go anyway. He was always so jealous accusing me of cheating on him, he would interrupt me when I was talking on the phone constantly. He was jealous when I spent time with the kids.

[@Wild1KY]

This is it! She never was capable of Love. Period! No matter how “long” one was together. She was never “yours” fellas, it was just your “turn”… 😳 But 💯 the Truth

[@mummyd1990]

Thank goodness my last narccsist girlfriend has gone away forever thankfully,it is the best thing ever,got sick of her lying,cheating and back stabbing 2 faced ways took me 4 years to realise this,stay safe and well everyone and never take them back ever.

[@Quran4mercy]

We shouldn't beat ourselves up for being victimized. They're so good, it's difficult for anybody to escape such a person- that's why they have such big fan clubs . That's why they're so destructive because people lose tryst and faith in other people, sometimes for decades.

[@EsraaElmubark]

I acknowledge this from the beginning and it's crystal clear that they are doing actions like someone is under a threat and their lives are in danger and it's in the normal situations , liying and envy people for anything and the amount of guilt and frustration they put you in and with zero caring about your feelings and your health! It's really exposed alot how they still living a life that the most close people to them are their enemies or the people should handle their trash behaviours and emotions! I always wondered if you are someone living for a purpose in this life which this life is not a game or you take responsibility about your life how you can bare to be with them after you see their true colours! I see it as a suicide! How someone will live and would live with someone whom minds build to devaluing the other and would do anything that makes you angry or sad in your behind! I believe it That some people are there to be your enemies and not a friend or someone you know, personally I now would any narcissists person as an enemy! Not more not less when you start to understand it it become crystal clear I don't know how the forgiveness be like with them cause I feel they are not exist in this life so I thanks Allah How I was blind and opened my eyes how I was walking to fire and he saved me ! Too all narcissist victims you are strong and blessed and loved from Allah nothing more nothing less and leave it as it's! And only Allah can put them down and show them what is their manipulation outcomes!

[@trentbacker9562]

Genetics is also a part of narcissism. No excuse for their behaviours.

[@japanesepokemoncardsbuydir9657]

Thank you making these videos. I appreciate them.

[@reginamcpherson9623]

They are demons

[@johnwingate8799]

They ultimately want to put you in jail or in a mental institution or maybe get u to not be alive.

[@venusheard4565]

I've been born into this abuse 😢😮Then I escaped and married the 1rst man that told me he loved 😍 me and would take care of me❤Then 7 years later, he tried to kill me because

[@venusheard4565]

He had another family 👪 that I was paying child support for and I never knew 😢😮

[@helenmcdonnell2585]

My heart goes out to you x

[@karinamoses790]

I’m sorry for this mine strangled me for trying to find his truth he had double life

[@lanahyde7588]

Thank you for all your videos, they’re very helpful and informative.

[@Itshowtime7223]

Today she finally revealed herself to me and it was over the phone while she was What sounded like she was doing something not cool while speaking to me. And switching conversations rapidly with me n trying to make me look like the crazy delusional one. Trying to switch my words for her's putting my story into fitting her's and denying a lot of what she said when I told her I got it all on text messages . Still denying it. Now she's texting with laughing texts as if that's supposed to do something to me. I kept my cool and and talked like a adult while she's acting very childish . In reality I'm fkn hurt seriously. I'm so fukn emotionally 🤕

[@geraldpleasant7733]

Childhood trauma period point blank it no way around it period point blank, I realize she didn't love me from the start, But I know the real reason behind it for Christ sake, Her parents I m not worrying about narcissist being done with me at all because love was never involved in the first place,And I thank God she out of my life and she aware she can't comeback her shame her hell forever Enterally she lacks all of human from intimacy and the list goes on when you talk about love period...

[@johnkarl8921]

Thanks for your video. My 20 years with my ex covert narcissist is a drab story .This is my brief version. The narcissist hard to resist Sucked in by Charisma and Charm But time brings regret for this Person you met is bringing you Nothing but harm Time's what it takes to see through The fakes , it's all about serving Themselves While you stroke their ego you'll Be their Amigo Stop and you're left on the Shelves Love and Compassion just isn't Their fashion For inside they're empty and weak Whatever they do is not about you For it's self love and attention they Seek Life's Drama and Friction to serve This addiction Your forced to forget about You Time's what it takes to unmask the fakes And accept that their love wasn't True.

[@DeedeeLisha]

But they don't love and care about themselves if they don't love and care for others...

[@ravenmeyer3740]

I can’t validate that, but I certainly agree with it.

[@maryritch3018]

Dude I thought she'd shoot up a school on my birthday or attack her husband because she loves drama. Any knock at the door, I think she's finally gotten herself in the news like she wants. I'm scared that she'll try to just reappear after her restraining order she placed against me. She was calling me nonstop and I lashed out at her because when I'm done I'm done. And she fled to the courthouse and I'm glad. Because I get to make a note of it if she calls or texts after I changed my number. I deleted social media and my only public comments are about what happened. When I'd check, she'd reference me covertly in what she's posted. I've been no contact for over two years and chances are she'll read this. She's always watching because she doesn't have a real life or personality. Her hobbies are chasing down supply, lying on the internet and probably torturing everyone around her with her incessant need to be the victim or center of attention. I'm in therapy for the hypervilgance and mourning the loss of my true homie for real, her ex. All the love I had for her went to him and myself. I've unattached myself from that beast

[@maryritch3018]

I honestly don't know how long I haven't been in contact lol. I just want to tack on more years before they happen. I really never want to see her again. She means nothing because she is nothing

[@christinav3383]

Exactly their parents trained them since birth to be narcissists. My ex husband a narcissist was exactly like his narcissist parents and his brother. One thing that would amaze people is my ex, and his parents never spoke to me throughout my 20 year marriage to their son nor did they speak to their son either. How satanic is that. so glad I’m out and no contact.

[@margottfon330]

No!! They're born that way... have no shame..

[@YOUR-WORD-IS-YOUR-BOND]

Okay, like we would care! Thank goodness we left them, and that's the reason they went.

[@RavnThor]

This is so #legit. Thank you so much for just naming it and telling the #truth man

[@AmandaMarriott]

This is so head fukin for people in this position like myself and has left me with no answers.

[@YOUR-WORD-IS-YOUR-BOND]

The excuses in this explanation 👀

[@margottfon330]

In many explanations, as they're pictured insecure with inferiority. Nope! Secure with superiority. Please, read Behavioral School!!

[@YOUR-WORD-IS-YOUR-BOND]

@margottfon330 No thanks!

[@genaiawoods2731]

Im guilty for calling my narcissist husband that I've been separated from a year an a half a demon and a narcissist I now understand an I'm thinking clearer. Wow I'm in tears it hurts because it took me years to figure it out but today is a good day I pray 🙏 this personality disorder from my husband B4 he self distruke

[@maryburr3314]

This is so true took me years to finally fiqure it out still font get it all. I saw signs but tried to stay in Christian love with him. I love him in christ but he changed the husband/wife love that was the way i was raised. Its sad to ho through this. He needs counseling but says he has no issues thats the first red flag Girls get your education degrees get a good job get your self set up then if you want companionship you're older n should be able to figure it out. Stay Alert of their actions they speak louder than words. 100%

[@AngelEyes-xm7el]

Why is it always early childhood trauma. I have met many narcs now. Some have had a silverspoon childhood.

[@terranman4702]

They are never done. One Hoover Trigger is enough for them to test their control over you after months or years.

[@CBraximus]

Hoover trigger?

[@lindastiles4981]

My mom was too..don't know if I'll ever be normal from it all!

[@JAYSONGS]

Dang. I knew something was up from the very beginning. Unfortunately, I was not prepared. Ouch.