What Narcissists HOPE Happens After Discard

[@PassionateFlower]

Narcissists don't feel bad about anything they do but they want you to feel bad about everything you do.

[@sheldor73]

💯💯💯

[@pietjeprecies7648]

I don't give a rats ass about the things our family narc does or says🤗

[@kaylaschroeder1]

Omg truth!!

[@MarcellaMccombs-h8v]

Real talk

[@chiefs4xsbchamps161]

lol if you stay happy they get pissed

[@Cleantopiallc]

I was afraid to be alone. Until I realized I’ve been alone since the day I met him. I went no contact three weeks ago, & I keep missing this person…who I associate with him, but is not him. It’s a weird feeling because I think I miss him, then realize it wasn’t him. It’s the strangest thing, missing someone who never existed. It’s a very lonely feeling.

[@ladyvirgo013]

I hear you. I never knew my husband of 12 years until his mask completely slipped during the discard. So brutal. I have so much healing to do. The level of betrayal is so dangerous. He's now shacked up with the secretary from his work, 5 miles away from our home. What a mess. The divorce has started but im so hurt

[@modickens1272]

​@@ladyvirgo013do you ever run into them at Walmart? Or applebees?

[@ladyvirgo013]

@modickens1272 not yet and I don't want to. I'm laying low at the moment on purpose

[@modickens1272]

@@ladyvirgo013 I know what you mean. Itd definitely be awkward

[@-g.k.4389]

I was with a woman who talked to me like trash joked about my past experiences my goals and even about me being vegan. Even after that I still stayed but when I gave her a taste of her own medicine she couldn’t take it and left me. I learned that no matter what don’t lose your cool or ignore red flags. I miss her but I haven’t called since the first day of the break up. I refuse to be that begging boyfriend who calling and texting while she laid up with another man. It’s just crazy when I was a gentleman she didn’t seem to care but when I messed up and did her like she did me it was over

[@The_Mister]

Narcissists have a double standard when it comes to feelings. You’re responsible for how you make them feel, but you’re also responsible for how they make you feel.

[@markh4926]

Confused the hell out of me. My narc wife ran away one morning never to return. That will drive a person crazy. It's been five years and I don't think it goes away. There is no one to talk to because not that many wives just up and disappear on their husbands.

[@damson9470]

my mom and my ex lol

[@Hustle.central]

Yeah it’s called mental health issue 😮

[@AdamDocker]

Yeah!! She would insult me, I would tell her how that hurt my feelings...and guess what? Yup, that was my problem!

[@itsallberrygood]

You said it PERFECTLY!!!

[@winning3329]

My narcissist expected me to be devastated and be begging him back and he was extremely disappointed when i didn't do neither of that 😂

[@cs.8821]

Cause you didn't catch feelings or love them

[@WishesandWonder]

Same here lol.

[@LynnAdams-z4y]

Same thing happened to me he dropped me cold and when I didn’t chase him he called me back in about a month and a half and said that he was upset because I didn’t chase him he was expecting it

[@mariaolson251]

Me too ❤ surprise ! We are more than enough !

[@traceybiles2061]

Yep..run...and block..never chase a 🏃 cause they are running after someone else.

[@suzansmith2209]

‘They don’t want to change unless its to become better narcissists’. You’ve hit the nail on the head!

[@eyeamunlimited]

!!!!!!

[@NatzTalk]

My fave part because its so true

[@tabbylove86]

Hehe absolutely true

[@laura-2]

Narcissists move VERY fast in relationships. It's not uncommon to hear, “I love you", and/or be bombarded with love songs/texts/memes a few weeks after meeting them. By rushing into sex/intimacy, they fast-forward the relationship. They get their targets to fall for them before he/she can realize something is amiss. I believe this is also the reason they tend to be VERY good lovers. Sex is usually the “hook” in toxic relationships. Narcissists lack genuine personalities. So, they mirror their targets. If you find you have “so much in common" with a new person, your likes are their likes, and your dislikes are coincidentally their dislikes as well, raise your antennas! They may be mirroring you. This is the “soulmates" hook… You'll also notice that they'll spend more time telling you who they are, verses showing you. As time goes on, you'll notice the words they used to describe themselves do not fit their personality - at all. But, they will fit YOURS!!! Passive-aggressive behavior and irrational/unexplained anger, are also major red flags. Pay attention to how a person treats you the first time you say, “No”, and/or when things don't go their way… If they give you the silent treatment, grow cold, and/or pull away, do not overlook it! Most importantly, if someone pulls away, or goes silent, after you set a boundary - DO NOT pursue them! This is how they groom you to be the chaser in the relationship. It's emotional abuse/manipulation! Pay close attention to people who portray themselves as victims. NOTHING is EVER their fault! EVERYONE, including the family pet, has done them wrong… ALL of their ex's are “crazy” and mistreated them… They’re great, but no one appreciates said greatness… Simply put, it's bullshit! No one should have a laundry list of bad experiences. If they do, RUN, because they're the common denominator! Narcissists tend to have a history of failed/short-term relationships. Believe it or not, it's hard for Narcissists to find people to deal with them long term due to their instability and poor behavior… Superficial relationships/friendships. I've noticed they don't have anyone they're genuinely close to. This is due to their inability to bond and form true attachments to people. Their relationships are shallow and based on surface-level bs. They'll refer to someone as their bestfriend, but you’ll notice they barely speak. Or, that the person is never really around. Or, only shows up when it's time to party, etc. They may also speak down on/poorly of said “bestfriend” behind their back. Narcissists tend to be condescending, two-faced and downright mean! Based on my experience, they cannot talk about deep subjects (i.e. fears/emotions). Or, how a situation truly made them feel. Or, what their childhood was like in detail… They don't want to go there. I suspect, it's because they can't. They don't know themselves well enough. They can't connect. They also live in a world of dishonesty. They're very dishonest with themselves about who they truly are. A poor relationship with their Mother/primary caregiver. Underlying issues between Narcissists and their Mother's (abuse, neglect, don’t get along, etc.), seems to be common. People that I've known who've displayed strong Narcissistic tendencies, ALL had bad relationships with their Mothers! I think it's worth mentioning, their Mother's also displayed strong Narcissistic traits… I'm fully aware and understand that there are healthy adults who have toxic Mother's. However, if you're spotting several red flags in an individual, including this one, pay closer attention! They're selfish! Some are selfish from the very beginning. Some start out generous and slowly begin withholding. Some act helpless and needy. They manipulate people into doing things for them, but never give back. It's not only financial and material selfishness. They're selfish emotionally, affectionately, conversationally. sexually and with their attention. They withhold validation and support. EVERYTHING has to be about them, their needs, their wants and everything happens on their terms. Anger, rage, silent treatments and disappearing acts are common - when they don't get their way. Pathological lying. Narcissists are professional liars. It's their second nature. If you call them out, they'll have no issue staring deeply into your eyes as they tell another lie! You'll hardly ever get the truth. Even with unchallengeable proof of the truth, they'll hold on to the lie. It's actually quite fascinating to see them in action - once you know what you’re dealing with. They also have the uncanny ability to provoke doubt in their victims (even when you KNOW the truth), because their lies are so convincing! Beware of people who do not seek conflict resolution. Many Narcissists enjoy drama/chaos! Remember, these are high-conflict personalities. Many of them NEED to argue and fight! Peace to a narcissist, is what chaos is to non-disordered people - unsettling. This is why they repeat behaviors that trigger a negative response. They need tension, anger and high/out of control emotions. They're known for calling people crazy, drama queens, insecure, etc., but never admit what they did to provoke those responses. And, when you attempt to discuss/resolve something, THEY said/did, they’ll gaslight, stonewall and/or flip it back on to you. They're extremely disrespectful, rude and lack self-awareness. They have an issue with being called out on their behavior and project/deflect to avoid accountability. “Normal” people want to get along, for the most part. So, they seek fair compromises when conflict arises. Narcissists want to “win” and conflict IS their niche. This is how many Narcissists get their way - they wear people down via conflict. Immaturity. It’s one thing to be playful and lighthearted (in appropriate settings), as an adult. It’s something completely different to be immature. Narcissists suffer from arrested development. They do not know how to respond to situations/people/stress/life appropriately. They have a child-like mindset. They truly believe everything is about them and have no concept of the needs of others. By nature, children are takers. They have no concept of reciprocation. They believe their Parents (and everyone else), exists to meet their needs. When their needs aren’t met, or they don’t get what they want, they become mean and throw tantrums. Narcissists cannot think outside of themselves and their wants/needs - like children. They’re completely unaware that people are individuals with their own agency, needs, wants, opinions... They truly believe people exist to serve them. They believe their job is to receive. They’re children trapped in adult bodies, who cannot consider anything/anyone other than themselves! Above everything I've stated, trust your intuition! Narcissists give off an uneasy vibe. They try very hard to appear cool, calm and collected - on the surface. But, you can feel their energy. It's very off-putting. They also tend to have more noticeable negative qualities, than most people. But, you have to stop justifying and making excuses, in order to see things clearly. Accept people for who they are and not who you want them to be. Observe, listen and trust yourself. No one should be allowed to grant themselves a position in your life. Vet people and YOU decide if they'll be a liability, or an asset, to you. Lastly, take cues from your body. If you ever feel your mood changing, feel anxious or feel your stomach knot up, in the company of someone, don't dismiss it! It could be a sign that you're in bad company!!! Additionally, If you need to find out about a cheating narcissist; send a request to: MetaspyClubLLC@gmail. com

[@rennaferrell7363]

You have described my narc ex perfectly!!! My jaw is still on the floor!! Discarded me 5 months ago!!! Soooooo much peace now!

[@Imgonnarise]

Makes total sense

[@Yolanda-lr4pq]

This was so spot on. Thank you.

[@Noelia.x01]

Very very spot on omg

[@ariana2523]

when you say, if we need to find out about a cheating narcissist, what type of request can be answered?

[@freeslavemind]

I need to watch this video every single day. The psychopath has destroyed every single fiber of my being. I won’t give up though.

[@Julia-ej4jz]

I'm a survivor!!! Time heals!!! Don't lose hope! ❤❤❤

[@joesevi7513]

Trama bond is strong. Once you learn about it and why it happened to you only then can you remove it and move on with your life. I still have to work with my ex narcissist girlfriend and no longer feel any need to be with her. I feel sorry for her but no need to save her from herself.

[@sjp6341]

The fact that evil person wants you destroyed should empower your DEFIANCE against that happening. That was their purpose, to teach you that all those capabilities are inside you by forcing your hand.

[@TracyBranum-c7q]

Stay strong

[@simplysavagery69]

Dido

[@The_Stockfather]

They expected me to crawl off and die, they are furious that I’m still around and exhibiting joy.

[@nicholecornes1915]

RIGHT!

[@AussieArmenian]

Oh thats the favourite. They want you to commit scuicide over them.... I have heard this twice, to me I mean.

[@ReRe_642]

Bless you reverse the tables

[@LIONSUNRISING]

Ditto❤

[@suziidfl]

My covert narc told me he would see me living under a bridge in a box and eating out of garbage cans. The bastard took everything from me. But, I spoke up for myself in the divorce court and now own his land and he left everything behind when he was arrested for beating me with his AK/47 rifle.

[@VioFax]

They push you to bring out your worst behavior and then exploit it. They can exploit your true self, or the false self you try to protect yourself with.

[@christopherleubner6633]

Yup this happens close to the discard.

[@WorldOfARandomVegan]

Mine got me really angry and I started to yell at him on the phone. He let it slip that he was recording me. I told him that if he planned to use any recording of me he needed to play the audio in its entirety. He quickly said he was joking, that he wasn't recording me, but I know he was.

[@VioFax]

@@WorldOfARandomVegan They like to do that with chat logs too, Telegram lets you delete what you want. They cherry pick the best stuff and make you look like the monster. while leaving out the foreplay.

[@itsmeeandrea]

Yup the person brought out the worst in me, a lot of anger and frustration and I am not that kind of person at all!

[@timorthelame1]

It's not your behavior; it's just your reaction to their behavior. Fighting back is not an attack; it's a form of defense, even if it mirrors their abuse of you. You needn't even forgive yourself because you didn't wrong an innocent person; they did.

[@michaelsawyer158]

Pretty sure my ex was hoping I would die in the beginning of the separation...until she found out I canceled the life insurance policy, THEN filed for divorce.

[@emmanuel7182]

Good move, congratulations!

[@jamesbishop9156]

🤣😂🤣🤣👍

[@debracoburn8590]

Ppp

[@debracoburn8590]

P

[@arturoehr]

Máster class!! my narc ex got really mad when I told her that I no longer fear her reactions and that I was waiting for the money she owed me for her failed Entrepreneurship. She blocked me and then started a smear campaign to her family, they try to bait me but I just sent them the wire details and once they pay block them and never looked back

[@Stuark54]

I was an absolute mess after my narcistic ex physically, emotionally and physchologically abused me for years and then left me as an empty shell. Afterwards Jesus became my foundation and He gave me the strength to stand back up and to build a new life for myself. After being left in debt and homeless I now have a new job that pays ridiculously well, I have a new gf who is wonderful who I hope to marry soon and very soon I should own my own house. Everything is starting to work out. I'm so grateful that I came out the otherside. I may have a few scars to show for it but I'm truly happy.

[@timrepetti1883]

I am so glad you came out the other side. Similar situation I’m in. Doesn’t feel like there is another side even though I am trying. So JESUS you say. 🤔

[@seoverus7805]

AMEN 37yrs Ago for me & daily I run to the Creator. Its a constant thorn in my flesh but pushes me to my true Saviour Jesus Christ." The BEST is yet to come"

[@marleneakimana2597]

❤ your comment give me hope😇

[@Anna-t4q4s]

Amen! Jesus is great. The same.

[@SamSung-xz7jt]

It's a bot. Stuark is a bot.

[@paulasussman4751]

“Never allowed to be you” exactly. It’s mind blowing

[@robbiemoore-coaching]

To survive the discard, it's essential to focus on self-care and healing. Understand that this ending is not a reflection of your worth, but a result of the narcissist's emotional instability and inability to maintain healthy relationships.

[@AbiBrown-q9k]

well said

[@Davanillaguerrilla]

Yep

[@YaLittleFriend]

❤❤❤❤

[@prostyle1626]

If their absence brings you peace, you did not lose them. You have won yourself again. So relax. You're a spirit driving a skeleton covered with meat made from star dust on a wet rock hurdling thru space with no guidance system and no stopping power. I stripped away all that I was. All that I thought I had to be. And as I stood there, facing eternity naked and alone. I realized, I am.

[@izaakchater9165]

This makes me think of the saying "the best revenge is to live well".

[@TD401INGA]

I thought I was crazy for my feelings, after being discarded (nearly 7 yr relationship), but after reading these comments, I’m not alone. What really stands out, is that after being (unaware) with a narcissist, at the end of it…YOU are truly left to pick up the pieces and the whole relationship feels like a dream, like they weren’t real or it never actually happened. If that’s not trauma, I don’t know what is.

[@angelicamaster7764]

It's been about 2 years since I divorced him after 15 years of toxic marriage. I learned at the very end of my marriage that he is a sadistic covert Narcissist. The recovery has been brutal at times. I've watched daily KZbin experts and done so much work on getting myself back in order. I promise you survivors, your life will get better with work and time. Stay total "No Contact" if you can. It's wonderful that we have free channels on KZbin to help us. Therapists are not all equipped to understand that we are different. We need help rewiring our damaged brains and healing our weary bodies. Hang in there, don't give up. Work out, journal, do yoga and meditation.

[@ColleenBarlow]

So so true. Hugs

[@shovelheadpec]

It's wonderful you've found the path to better It's been about a yr 4 me no contact but I find myself still reflecting on her daily kinda drives a guy nuts but I know I'm much safer and better today keep on keepin on 🙏

[@ladyvirgo013]

Thank You, I was brutally discarded recently after 12 years married

[@Powers24x7]

Thank you for the wisdom.

[@arhafrench5319]

I wish I'd known what to call the covert narcissist when I was divorced from him. If I had known I wouldn't have gone back one more time to see if he'd changed last year. What I am extremely glad of is that I grew over the 12 year divorce and recognized that his laziness and self-indulgence had not changed at heart and that he was NOT fit to clamp onto my coattails and start talking about income taxes together to get more, a car with both of our names on it, me using MY license to drive him around to a job he hadn't kept and erasing the child support order (and the $32,768 back support that he'd racked up, puking and crying about but not getting a job to have it taken out). 😕

[@missb1982]

I think its also important to know that during the healing process sometimes you will feel like literal death, but its a part of getting better. For every bad day i had, i had 2 or 3 days of seeing progress, but the lows were LOW. But i feel so good now as those lies are filtered out of my system.

[@FromSurvivingToThriving]

Sooo true - healing is NOT linear!!!

[@girlwithpearls]

Very true.. the lows are low. I've recently been in some very dark days and literally have to take a deep breath and remind myself that this is all temporary.. it's so hard to get through some days

[@Seymourmunni]

Stay strong your worth it

[@MS-ns4ki]

At this point I either should not wake up or he just should vanish bc living Like this is awful

[@rio-wi1el]

@@girlwithpearls you are not alone, so many of us going through this with you,

[@elainesmith5313]

My narc husband died in 2022. After he died the mother in law started her discard of me, but she did not realize that I had already starting to back away from her and his family. And actually I started 10 yrs ago with the family. Not attending family gatherings and holidays. So she finally discarded me in June of 2022. Which was GREAT!. I SOLD EVERTHING HOME AND LAND that was close to them and moved away. Slander....Flying Monkeys.....taunting....harassing ....keeping track of my movements prompted me to move These people are dangerous !!! Get away from them!!! Run!!!

[@nessauk2786]

Great job ...

[@ThisIsMe155]

Wonderful!! So Well Done!! You Go, Girl. ❤xxxx

[@lynjames4306]

Exactly my first Girlfriend at the age of 12 was Narcissistic I now realise after the Internet after the worst 5 years in my secondary school life and 20 years later was a cancer sufferer made no difference to the Narcissistic person that she was, I'm 62 and now after all this time she was never in love with me, and explained why I never trusted her, and never bonded in any of the on off relationship that was in 6 weeks cycle in the relationship, love was blind on my side I'm afraid but this is what they Do 😢 You moved out of the area, she is always about locally Due to my driving job and the places I work in 😅

[@yeswing10]

Congratulations. Finally you can make choices, buy a home that you want, away from the Emotional Trash Heap. Peace and prosperity to you.

[@macnchessplz]

Good for you! Backing away years before his passing was a good ideaSo was moving and physical distance. Unfortunately,many people with these types of behaviors and actions when someone doesn’t want contact or a relationship or a spouse with similar problems ,come from a family dynamic full of it. It goes from one generation to the next….

[@alyajewellery]

I was a people pleaser before, now I say it like it is to people who deserve firm boundaries.

[@tamara873]

Yes, if they always get a yes, they expect always a yes. They don't know any better. You don't do them a favor by saying yes. Now you gave them a change for change

[@mami-e2q]

same here, people pleaser, yes person not to offend, to be nice, polite. Not anymore. If I have to say hard things I consider to, I will regardless who you are. Firm boundaries are the best way to protect yourself from any predator ever!!

[@ChristineSpringerElaine]

Right? Same here. Being unable to tell people to f*ck off because of my scapegoat programming is the problem.

[@kristinburton4953]

I deeply regret the times that I tried desperately to make my narcs like me by catering to their needs, or thinking of something nice to say to them, all in an effort to stop their nasty attitude.

[@Xenophanes198]

Saying no to others is saying yes to ourselves.

[@dcg31free]

Reasons they hoover To see if they still have access to you To finish you off when you regain your confidence The new supply dumped them

[@susanmartin870]

This comment right here helped me decide to keep the door of access CLOSED!

[@Megplaysretro413]

Thank you so much for this comment

[@chatynivera2570]

Question: will they still hoover after they physically abuse there partner??

[@marycampeau9378]

before realizing what is going on, i was telling my narc sister about a time I was in a good place. she said, "really?" in a surprised voice. she doesn't want me to be ok

[@jimzucker]

oh, i know that so well

[@dnk4559]

I can so relate. My sisters wanted me to stay with my ex husband who wanted to “stay married and live separate lives”. They sided with him and now that I’m happily remarried and no longer anxious and depressed they want nothing to do with me.

[@carlos89784]

Twice my ex texted surprised when I randomly shared I was going to workout. One thing I am proud of myself is never giving to anger or pain. Never abused her or called her names. Even after catching her lying, despite the pain. Didn't give her any supply to act as victim. We were living separately as she was on a recovery house doing therapy 1st time and group counseling.

[@robertmixon3167]

Greyrock the hell out of them. Avoid them completely.

[@timorthelame1]

Just yesterday after 49 years of abuse, I finally confronted my father about his narcissism for the first and only time. Two text messages later, he announced that he was blocking me and suggested that I change my name. I'm very hurt by it, but I do feel a profound sense of relief that I've never experienced before. Today was a lot better than yesterday and I'm excited to find out how much better tomorrow will feel.

[@andrearay4455]

I hope you’re still able to see the benefits vs the status quo and he was still your dad and the pain may wave over you but he wanted to block you so let him and just find or keep a good support system from friends because friends are better than family because they can be both!!

[@kathleenmorris9309]

Narcissists are never wrong.

[@zeetom2117]

If you think about it unemotionally, what he suggested is what's actually best for you. Don't think he will leave you alone if you try to do that. Cut him off for good. You owe love to people who love you, not because they are "called your parents".

[@dnk4559]

I hope you are doing well. The last time my father and I were able to speak to each other before he passed I finally stood up to his abuse and told him I finally get it Dad, you have always enjoyed hurting me and take great pleasure in it. It felt like a huge relief to finally face the truth of who he is now was.

[@jamesokeeffe3216]

Just because there are your parents doesn’t mean you have to see them ☘️❤️☘️

[@dhd-00]

Being with my ex narc for the past 6 yrs. made me observe this very pattern. I think they wanted to feel very important in a way that is disturbing. Instead of building trust with their intimate partners, they destroy the trust that they built with you (in that case lying when they tried to put you in their pedestal). Once they have a committed partner, they can’t stand being loved authentically by one person. Instead they go on and prey on other women that is susceptible to their love bombing. My ex narc was a compulsive pursuer in a relationship. He would go back and forth to the women he were involved before or try to meet women in complicated situation so that going public isn’t an option while having you as their main supply. In the end they destroy the very person that loved them. They are like toddlers testing your love for them. Showing and telling them you love them isn’t enough, they will cheat on your face to make you feel inadequate even if you are more than they deserve. They want to test your love for them so they keep hurting you and when you have enough of their abuse, you leave. Then they tell you, ‘you never loved me because you abandon me’. Well in fact it’s their actions and narcissistic behavior that made you leave or in other cases they discard you and will give silly reasons of the discard. Mine would use, ‘she’s crazy’, ‘she’s a nega-star’, ‘she insults me’, ‘she cheated on me’ et al. So with this pattern of infidelities and emotional abuse (who knows what else) it’s better to walk away. I did walk away and is now rebuilding my life with our daughter. We are struggling financially because I’m not earning enough to provide for my daughter but now we get to laugh and bring with us sunshine every day. No lies, no abuse and no fake love. We only live once, forgive yourself and move forward but never forget the lesson that narc abuse taught you. That is to respect yourself to walk away from what’s hurting and destroying you. That you deserve a life of solitude, happiness and love. Hugs*** :) Additionally, I hired a private detective from Metaspyhub@gmail. com. Once I knew what the narc was up to, it became easier to get over that lying, cheating sack of doo-doo loser. I didn’t need closure from the narc, I paid for it. Best money I EVER spent!

[@victoriacoghlan3954]

You really are an a-hole. I hope you are deleted and blocked.

[@Cat-ik1wo]

I simply believe all the narcissist people who came into my life DIED! I hold a memorial, tell people they died, RIP.

[@iramsavir5631]

That is the best strategy of all. Mourn the person they pretended to be/impersonated and move on. We must keep in mind that the person we loved died (when we finally saw the ugly monster behind the mask) and is NEVER coming back because that person never existed. It will be excruciatingly painful as are all losses, but time will heal our broken hearts.

[@EsEm312]

I love this😂😂😂👌

[@y00mie]

😂😂 💐RIP

[@krystalkelly3054]

You right

[@shovelheadpec]

That's how I've been getting on down the road after the discard She hadda DIE ! It is painful to be alive gotta B super strong 💪 💔

[@The80s_Baby]

You have to always keep in mind that your a soul in a body narcissist literally steal everything good from you and dump everything bad about them onto you. It’s a energy exchange this why they can’t be alone nobody to feed off of

[@susanmartin870]

This is soooo true

[@MrRodQ]

This is why I lean on the Word of God so much. Narcissistic abuse and CPTSD can be acquired from numerous places and people. I need encouragement that goes beyond the physical, but into the spiritual.

[@firstlastname84]

It's no joke how much we depend on His Word for the renewing of our minds

[@iamfritz]

14 minutes and I've gotten more and better counseling than years of expensive office visits. Thank you.

[@PostFamilyOfOrigin]

That's because they want to preach that hippee "I'm okay and YOU'RE OK" clinical nonsense. Signing off, a 50-yr old big Beatles and Pink Floyd fan

[@zdem8259]

I told the terapist that my husband is a covert narc and she said, she bets her career, he isn't. I didn't recognize his true nature for years, how could she then learn that from seeing him for an hour once a month... ? Coverts are masters of playing nice and being a victim, how can she recognize him the way I do, I was living with him for 20 years and even I needed a long time to realize who he is.... So, terapists mostly don't have a clue who they are dealing with...

[@iamfritz]

@@PostFamilyOfOrigin That's a textbook narcissistic reply.

[@bigskeet]

I feel like they really don't care whether you're stuck or not. Theyre just so indifferent from you.

[@michelezeug5206]

They have no conscience

[@arturoehr]

They really want to see you doing bad. After the discard I started getting better and better, hanging out with friends and family and sharing it on instagram. My ex NARC literally told me very upset, Do you want me to see how happy you are doing now? And I reply, Oh so you don’t like see me doing good? She couldn’t respond immediately and then changed the subject to victimize herself.

[@iramsavir5631]

Absolutely. Some narcs don't give a damn either way, they just move on leaving a path of destruction. They are like the living dead, devoid of emotion and whose only purpose in life is to feed their insatiable egos. Once they have a new supply to feed on, they don't give a moment's thought to the person they discarded.

[@tnt01]

​@@iramsavir5631100%

[@APatchesProduction]

@@iramsavir5631I think they do , they definitely don’t want you to do good or get over them

[@healerscreek]

"In their desperate need to one-up..." That says it all, right there! ❤

[@KatherineGrey-pz9on]

The only way to take control from a narcissist is to get yourself from their domain first. You wont be able to figure out anything until and unless you are out of the hellish world. I will tell you one of my favourite stories. Once a King was too disturbed by everything that was happening around him. He felt as if no one was loyal to him and he was always afraid of his kingdom being attacked by perpetrators. He lost his sleep and his life had become hell. So he thought of taking a brief sojourn in the countryside. He passed through lush green fields and picturesque landscapes. The silent breeze that brushed through his hair filled his heart with joy. That is when he saw a farmer who was putting fence around his farmland. But his farmland had weeds all over and they hardly had any crops. This intrigued the King. He asked the farmer as to why was he putting a fence around the farm when the farm itself was covered with weeds. To this the farmer said that the farm was his own so he could get rid of the weeds whenever he liked. But he cant stop the stray dogs from running over his fields and destroying them. That is why he was putting the fence. To stop the stray dogs from venturing into the field. Once he was very assured about the security of his fields he can work on clearing the weeds and planting crops. On hearing this the King somewhat got the answer which he had been searching for. The human mind is also like the field. You cant control assholes from fiddling with your mind or saying bullshit. But you can definitely put a fence ( figuratively) so that these assholes cant influence you. And until and unless you dont put a fence you can never work on yourself. Once you have distanced yourself from toxic people then you can work on the healing process. Same is the case with narcs. Narcs are these stray dogs who suck your energy emotionally. They play mind games for fun because their mind wants melodrama. They hurt the very people who love them. So total isolation from these narcs is absolutely essential for the well being of your Mind. Once you are out of their mind games you can take decisions rationally. Narcs try to drain you emotionally. So everytime you respond to their low vibrations you tend to come to their level. But when you react confidently without panicking and without responding to their negative vibrations that is when you Win. When someone realises that you arent being influenced or being manipulated by their actions they will get tired of it. And after cutting them off completely from your lives you should work on your healing process. Work on clearing your mental clutter and keep yourself preoccupied. Read books and most importantly try to find your Purpose in life. When you find your Purpose you will be able to bear any pain in this World. Most importantly help others in need. When you find someone else who is stuck with a narc help them to get out of that. I feel this is the way to take control from a narcissist. P.S: I hardly find people around me who know about emotional abuse. But I think everyone should read and know about it. In today’s mean world you will find a lot of people who try to influence you or demoralise you using the sweetest of words. Its about identifying these covert manipulators and distancing yourself from them. I have immense respect for people who have survived narcissistic partners. They happen to be the most strongheaded and emotionally stable people you can come across. I learn a lot of things from them. Truly the broken will always be the most beautiful. What ever you do, don’t attempt to tail your spouse in the hopes of catching him or her cheating. Get a professional to do it for you Metaspyhub@gmail. com Ethical remote App - particularly if you need this evidence to file for divorce and damages.

[@Pinkythepainter777]

Good advice, but do people every really leave someone, based on the advice of another? Never! I have a friend who keeps breaking up, then going back to the WORST narc ever! All her friends and family try to veer her away, to no avail! After 6 months, she got back with him, and I told her it was nuts and that he is the worst human I ever met! He's really a demon, but she doesn't understand that. She said she would not be influenced by other people's opinions. I'm like don't tell me your drama then! So sick of being a sounding board to someone that doesn't want help! They just wanna complain. It's mainly about being there after THEY decide to break up.

[@marrrweee]

I love that story thank you so much for sharing, and the comment at the end about survivors being so strong and stable…stable is the best compliment imo you can give to a survivor of narcissistic abuse. We’ve been trained our whole lives to be unstable so that we’re easy to manipulate. I appreciate you so much!!! Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!! So affirming. Blessings on you ❤

[@jessicahanson4264]

​@@Pinkythepainter777, it is literally like an addiction. They brainwash the one abused. But then when they drop any crumbs of attention or affection (no matter how bad they have been) the abused goes back. Speaking from experience after 14 years of abuse. The energy, vampire sucking is so true. Also reverse hoovering is a narc tactic. 😔 So many studies, readings and videos discuss how many times it takes (sometimes resulting in death) to actually leave your abuser too.

[@jessicahanson4264]

​@@Pinkythepainter777it is embarrassing when you lose not only yourself but your friends who tried to support you but don't understand the disease of codependency after narc trauma.

[@Pinkythepainter777]

@@jessicahanson4264 I lost most of my friends too. One of them used to let him come over late at night, to cry on her shoulder. I told her she had no boundaries. She said friends shouldn't have boundaries. I said, "buh bye!" He tried this with several other friends of mine. Some other friends just overwhelmed me with their drama, when I was already overwhelmed. I have very few friends now.

[@MtrlGirl]

No contact is def the biggest key in the healing process. I tried therapy and it did not help. I’ve been able to heal so much from just KZbin . 9 months free from 7 year relationship and I love how I’m literally learning and falling in love which who I was all over again… but this time the higher version of myself ❤️❤️

[@andrearay4455]

This is exactly what I would write!! I hope you’re still becoming happy I was with mine 7 years but it’s only been 2 months gone & my biggest fear is him trying to come back

[@MtrlGirl]

@@andrearay4455 you gotta set strong boundaries and make sure you’re closest friends and family are on board with you too. Don’t break on your boundaries and you’ll see how he’ll loser his power over you slowly but surely and he’ll distance himself once he see you getting stronger

[@bahamasbroyt]

Am glad you doing better

[@damson9470]

respect. keep it up!

[@saraanderson5686]

I was just discarded after 7 years. I'm desperate for relief from missing him. 3 weeks after he left me and our kids he married someone. He knew all I wanted was commitment and he knew this would absolutely stab me in the heart. I am suffering as it's only been a month exactly.

[@BraatyB]

I definitely chased after being discarded. I started to feel like the narcissist because I was doing all the chasing texting calling and stalking. That was the first week and I stopped now. But definitely fell into depression and the clarity I have been getting on the relationship of who I really was dating.

[@TASHAS_CROWN]

They mirror us so we think this person is amazing only because it's our own attributes and they sure do have a lot of time on there hands in the beginning

[@ladyvirgo013]

I tried reaching out to my husband at first as well but I wasn't aware he is a covert Narcissist until the brutal discard

[@wms72]

Don't want to sound conceited, but the truth is: We're WAY too good for those devils.

[@oscarvillanueva76]

@@wms72exactly, at the end it boils down to that hard truth

[@Ryukikon]

This sounds like conflating a person breaking up with someone and moving on with them being a narcissist and toxic. Alot of people on these channels are generally very toxic and if you are in a relationship with an Cluster B you should be looking more at yourself and taking accountability than labeling them and using it as away to deflect blame

[@talk2minice87]

One thing i learned about a narcissist is that they will make sure you mirror them on how they act.

[@crystalwashington9280]

Yes

[@Nothoughtsjustvibez]

This woman is like an angel sent from above. As soon as she said they want us to be stuck I have never gotten out of bed so fast! It felt like she shocked me back into reality! I’ve been stuck in a freeze response for as long as I could remember. This was everything I needed to hear I can’t thank you enough!

[@ileanaprofeanu7626]

I've been watching content on narcissism for 4+ years now, and this is one of the most powerful and empowering things I have listened to, thank you!

[@miker4430]

They truly are disgusting individuals. They are hell bent on ripping apart good empathic people, and best thing is to stand clear of these monsters if possible. They are responsible for their actions, and they couldn’t care less.

[@ladyvirgo013]

19 days of zero contact for me. He discarded me brutally after 12 years married. Now that I realize what I was married to,I can look back and see exactly when he started devaluing me and grooming the secretary at his work. These people are so vile. He started smearing me prior to leaving our home. His phone records are how I figured out the mess.

[@ladyvirgo013]

@@StockMarketTrading555 ugh! These people are so malicious. I wish you wellness

[@mitchellesamedy2507]

The secretary will be in your shoes soon if she is a strong woman . He will and already miss you. Trust me. You are living in their relationship. Messy feeling 😔

[@ladyvirgo013]

@mitchellesamedy2507 I don't know much about her other than the cops know her by name, her ex husband just got out of prison and she knew he was married and didn't care. Either way,it doesn't feel good to be so betrayed by a man I thought was my husband and she can kiss off, it shows that neither one of them have a moral compass

[@Wisdomforthehour]

This is such an accurate description of these evil beings. The Bible talks all about them. They are the ones who crucified Jesus when he tore their masks off and exposed them.

[@davidlafleche1142]

Jesus warned that would happen to His disciples, too. We're in good company.

[@iramsavir5631]

If you dare to expose them, they will simply throw you away like a piece of garbage and move on. They are like the living dead, devoid of emotion and whose only purpose in life is to feed their insatiable egos. Once they have a new supply to feed on, they don't give a moment's thought to the person they discarded. Some narcs may get their egos bruised if you don't give them the satisfaction of seeing you heartbroken, but some don't give a damn at all and go on with their life as if you never existed.

[@jameslave98]

Those were the jews but yes also ebil

[@wms72]

​@@jameslave98The unbaptized who had no Christian character formation. They go endlessly to therapy, but never improve because the messianic life is a grace they won't seek from God.

[@Meya-w7h]

@bella 2 Timothy 3:1-9 But know this, that in the last days perilous times will come: 2 For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, 3 unloving, unforgiving, slanderers, without self-control, brutal, despisers of good, 4 traitors, headstrong, haughty, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, 5 having a form of godliness but denying its power. And from such people turn away! 6 For of this sort are those who creep into households and make captives of gullible women loaded down with sins, led away by various lusts,

[@Mike-gv8ip]

They don’t love you and don’t want nobody else to love . They want to leave a life that is so called go for them but want the other to be stuck

[@7w7-2]

It’s kind of contradictory to say that a narcissist ex admitted that to gaslighting. One of the behavior patterns of a narcissist is that they won’t admit fault on their own, and that they use gaslighting to convince you that they were never at fault. I can tell you what behavior of my narcissist ex led me to believe that I was being gaslighted though. Gaslighting is a real insidious way of manipulation- to make you believe that there is something wrong with you, that the actions/words of your narcissist weren’t really what they seemed to be. It makes you question your judgement, leading to you ignoring your instincts and senses. I swallowed all of her gaslighting for years, mostly because I wanted the relationship to work- like most people who have been the partner of a narcissist. I started realizing that something was wrong 6 months before I was discarded. It was actually this revelation that I had that led to the discard- once I started seeing through the illusion that she presented, I started to see all of her actions for what they really were, and I started to question her on everything and stood my ground on issues that I previously gave in on. We had gotten into a really bad argument. Tensions between us had been building for a few months. We had to move from our rental and find a new place to live within 2 months, in a town that was going through a surge in prices for rental properties. It was difficult finding a place to live that was within our budget, and still live in the town that had come to be our community. Between that and all of the normal logistics in moving cause a lot of minor arguments and stress between us- more than what was normal with her narcissistic and selfish behavior. We found a place, moved in and was in the process of bringing the final things over from the old place to the new place and cleaning the old place when we had gotten into an argument about something minor. All of the pent up tensions and resentment came out. During the argument, she was dismissive to me and told me that everything was my fault and if I didn’t like it then I could pack my shit and leave. I was so frustrated that I knocked her external computer monitor down (so she would face me and not continue to argue with her back turned to me). She got up and in my face and told me that I probably wanted to hit her. I said that I didn’t, I just wanted to discuss the issues. She said that if I wasn’t man enough to hit her she would give herself a black eye and call the police on me. I turned and left the room, because I knew the argument was escalating to a place that I didn’t;t want it to go. As I turned to leave the room, she jumped on me and started punching me. I told her if she was going to hit me, I would call the police. She started punching me again, so I left the room, went to the master bathroom and called the police. They came, interviewed both of us and arrested her for spousal battery. Afterwards she only blamed me for the incident and never, never acknowledged that she hit me. A week or so later, she asked me to write a letter to the DA requesting that the charges be dropped. I said that I would write a letter but that she would have to acknowledge her actions and to apologize to me first. She said that she was sorry that I felt that way. I told her that I wouldn’t write anything to the DA, and she stormed off, giving me the silent treatment for a couple of days. I knew what happened, and have a very clear recollection of the events. I’ve been punched before with closed fists, and I know what it feels like- and it doesn’t feel like a “shove”, what she insisted was what she did (her story was that she shoved me only after I shoved her, which was nonsense). I got a copy of the police report, and one of several reasons that they arrested her is because they found her knuckles red and swollen. I tried to move through this, but she kept trying to change the narrative of what happened when I was very clear on what happened. I felt crazy, but knew that I wasn’t. This led me to question everything else that she told me. Once I started realizing that most things she told me (when it came to disagreements or things that I had an issue with) were lies, and I believed the illusion that she created to trick me. That’s what the narcissist does- they present an illusion to you. Just like looking at an optical illusion, once you see that it is a trick of the eyes, you can’t look at it again without seeing the trick. Once I started seeing through her illusions, the house of cards that she built started to fall down and I slowly started to realize the type of person that she was, even though I didn’t want to believe it. I started enforcing my boundaries and that drove her crazy and caused more fights and gaslighting, which is what I believe led to her finally discarding me 6 months after her arrest. She never admitted to gaslighting me though. Even after confronting her with things from years previous that I realized she changed to make me the one at fault, she stays with her story. Even with indisputable proof, she stays with her version of events and says everyone else is wrong. Don’t expect any type of satisfaction or closure from a narcissist, because you won’t get any. You have to believe your judgment and instinct, and not tie your self-worth and self-esteem to anything that they say to you. Additionally, If you ever suspect your partner is cheating on you give it a try and remotely access their phone. I had to follow my instincts and get in touch with this private investigator Metaspyhub@gmail. com who gave me unrestricted access my partner device.

[@0l0l00l0]

email dropping seems shady

[@danaparfitt2491]

​@@DeenanTheKemon1 Similar story: he started chatting someone up the day I lost my delivery contract due to this pit of suckers falling for "covid" "measures" (ruling) and so much other slavery-related bullshit...it happened to also be the day his rental car had to go back after an accident not caused by him directly yet the result of going to town in a snowstorm for alcohol ... served right . Now trying to turn himself away from grace so he can run through chicks for jollies like that's going to take any pain away for long. "WHY SO SERIOUS"

[@NatzTalk]

Actually mine has admitted fault a few times BUT throws the shit back in my face EVERY time. They use anything as a tool to manipulate you so if that's admitting theyre wrong to get something or to pull you back in but torture you, yes they will do it.

[@Stevonthemove]

Hey give others a chance to answer will you?this is not your vlog ok?

[@icalotdonthide2646]

Thats why the only fight worthy is to keep them away from you.

[@MrProfessional777]

Good point. Fight for your boundaries and hold the 'borders' steadfast. Stay on your square. 💪🏾

[@jaanaprall9961]

This has been the most difficult thing I've ever experienced. Being trauma bonded, getting through the fog of abuse, realizing the person I was married to for 26 years was not at all who I thought he was. Also realizing he was a covert narcissist crossing over into the sadistic. The most painful thing is letting go of the idea of having a functioning, secure family. I have gone no contact completely once the divorce was final. It has been so painful to watch my adult children try to make sense of it all. I'd love a video on supporting your adult children and how to handle their confusion and sadness.

[@Nerine98]

It's so dreadful to see how long they can mask themselves and play fake. I just don't get it. It would torn a normal person apart long time ago. I thought 3 years with my narc is too much to hide yet.. 26 or more is possible as well.. Wish you all the best, lots of love and heal, dear stranger

[@doranvee5944]

My confidence and self esteem were eroded away by the constant degrading insults. I became her personal people pleaser, always jumping to do whatever she wanted. Then she decided I was a failure and discarded me after 19 years of marriage.

[@martyyoung598]

Bro, she discarded me after 23 years married. That was 14 years ago, yes, time heals, but know it’s a battle no one should have to go through. It remains the most difficult thing I’ve ever gone through, and the scars remain today. I have no tolerance for any kind of narc that enters my life, and I can spot them a mile away. Most people are like I was in the beginning, clueless as to the destruction in the wake of these people.

[@doranvee5944]

@@martyyoung598 Nail on the head. Was just trying to live life, please my wife, and the "bomb" of pure hate and destruction hit. Found out later (it's been a year now) she had a new supply being groomed to replace me. Double whammy. Not only was dumped but then another secret supply she had known from 37 years earlier. Suspect a connection on FB. Long story. Was a shattered person, and not one ounce of care from her. Like a demon is in control. Maybe? I don't know. Hard to believe someone could treat another person so bad.

[@doranvee5944]

@@weightednormal3682 Ours must be twins, because she started the same narcissistic name calling to me too. And your right, she is more angry and hateful than ever before. Now it seems when she is briefly kind, there is something bad coming. It's almost predictable.

[@Nerine98]

Stay strong brothers

[@cc1k435]

Eckhart Tolle described healing of trauma wounds as being like making some space around them, so that while they'll still be there, they won't matter quite as much and start to fade. They won't feel like they have center stage anymore. ❤

[@MS-ns4ki]

It’s really annoying to be alone in everything and I really mean this 😊

[@MikeMadison-z7o]

You never heal just like narc. My mom massive narc. Hated me sister narc,brother narc,moms massive family all narcs. All hated me. Most my later girlfriends narcs. They are trauma so was I. I've done much work they don't. I still will be messed up until I die it's just a given. I can notice people and triggered and catch them and ignore them but massive hurts always with me. Broken society .

[@privateinformation2960]

@@MikeMadison-z7o Hey Bud. Narc mother, golden child sister who is now a child abuser, havent seen my good sister and her husband and children for 3 years. Took a long time for the depression to go but one big thing that helped me was realising that i was carrying my youth into my relationships and ended up falling for women that i felt most comfortable with, which was what i grew up with, and ended up with narc girlfriends. you do get better in yourself, i still dont feel right but im definitely hyper aware of what ive gone through and what i sometimes almost walk into, but am able to pretty much instantly walk straight back out of. walked away from family who were abusers, why in the firebucket would some of the women around me think i would give a rats ass about walking away from them for doing the same when theyre pulling the same act? i dont really like the word empowering but i will say straight up its a massive confidence booster realising i can see straight through an act, they all play the same opening moves, all you gotta do is move the chess pieces around on them a little bit then watch the smoke fly out of their ears when all the games do for them is tire them the hell out and dont affect you in the least. its not fun, but it definitely makes you realise youve got way more personal power and self respect than you did before. peace out, it does get better, youre not broken, and while youre still breathing you can make things better.

[@artluvr6170]

I’ve watched hundreds of videos about narcissism, and this is one of the best. I have been subjected to narcissistic abuse since I was a child.

[@Charlotte74347]

I AS WELL... YOU need to get over it. Because when you move back into take care of the narcissist father. The feelings start up all over again. My father told me at 56yrs old that I'm a loser in life....I should have done this for a living join the Marines, be a chef.....Padre told me he did not like anything about me. Picked on my friends,said " all of my friends and the man I was with were losers....useless ,I never ever had my friends or my boyfriend over in my youth middle ages ever. So please Art...just love yourself please 💜

[@Charlotte74347]

Artluvr... You need to love yourself.let go of your parent that abused you at childhood...I just been working on it since listening to Andrew.... you need to take care of your inner self like she said.

[@artluvr6170]

@@Charlotte74347 I've done a lot of healing. I'm not a newbie to healing from narcissistic abuse. I simply found this video to be really good. I'm sorry about your father. That's terrible that he treated you so awfully. You have no obligation to care for him in his old age.

[@artluvr6170]

@@Charlotte74347 I am definitely taking care of my inner self. I've rid my life of toxic people and am making new relationships with healthy, loving, understanding people. Andrew's channel is awesome. This woman is great too. She has a lot of fantastic videos. Bless you on your healing path! - Joe

[@aradubyah2213]

Well, i got bad news for the my ex . . . Party over here !!🥳👍

[@tiyah101]

It's scary and hard to move on. It feels lonely, stressful, and emotionally draining even after you leave.

[@Motivation-_power]

I just left mine

[@GlobalFreeLiving]

Focus on healthy love and never attract unhealthy love again.

[@amberbailey4887]

Staying stuck or missing someone who never existed, or perpetually betrayed you - is insane, and gives them so much power. Mine will get nothing from me - i don’t have to forgive and i don’t have to be sad for his betrayal -that’s her problem now.

[@eastafrika728]

They control your choice of what you think of reality.

[@jamesbishop9156]

So does Ra and Yahweh.. Who really is thee creator of our "reality"? Definitely not a male god.

[@LisaSmith-yb2uz]

ABSOLUTELY! 🥹❤

[@eastafrika728]

@@jamesbishop9156 all gods are versions of Ma'at, our Universal Creator and Mother, Consciousness.

[@jamesbishop9156]

@eastafrika728 So what... that doesn't make them right.

[@jamesbishop9156]

@eastafrika728 I am happy you believe in a female creator, though.😁👍✌️

[@11GodsGirl11]

One year of freedom and healing after a lifetime of narcissistic abuse, and this may be one of the most informative videos I've seen yet.

[@BBFCCO733]

God, what a wakeup call. I have been stuck since my narc father aided in ruining my career. I thought it was coincidence, but now I see it is intentional and calculated.

[@weird_al77]

Mine tried to destroy me. Asked me to move out of our house, so I did hoping some space would help with the problems we'd been having.... she moved her secret boyfriend, who everone knew about but me, in and spread rumours that I'd been abusive and violent to excuse what she did. Then decided she was going to keep everything of ours that we'd built over 11 years and give all my stuff to her boyfriend. When she discovered that she wasn't going to be able to do that, more rumours and lies. I went no contact, and for the next few years she went further and further trying to show she was happy.... when the divorce came through, she was already engaged and had a baby, new house, then the big white wedding that all my friends wee invited to..... then 2 months later she reappears and tells me it's all been a mistake. Wheedles her way back into my life, gets me to admit I still love her.....then drops me and goes back to her oblivious husband. She came back again when I found someone else, but I had enough sense to reject her that time, but she tried several times more to wheedle her way back in. These people are not who they pretend to be. We fall in love with their cover, their false image, it's them we miss. They aren't real. The real person was the one that destroyed you and didn't even care until they felt like they weren't important to you any more. They're not worth it, they don't care about you, they only care about what you can give them. It's been 19 years and I'm still not over it. I feel like life's over.

[@khanaliqasim1757]

The ups aren't worth the downs

[@beeman7711]

Christ, man... that is brutal! I can't openly say what I'd have done in that situation. Sorry you had to go through all that, bud. I've been free from my vulnerable narcissist ex wifey for about 9 months now, any time I'd start to miss her I'd listen to recordings of her cruelty, it removes me from that shared fantasy real quick. At least she's smart enough not to test me, I have dirt on her that she couldn't talk her way out of. I hope you can overcome your pain one day.

[@kengaroo5170]

In my opinion, many narcissists pick vulnerable people as narcissistic supply. Similar to how predators pick the young, weak, or old to eat. They are opportunists.

[@Oceansgreen]

OMG!! 19 years…I really hope that one day you will wake up and be free of all your pain…please try and live your life and be happy, why would you want someone who treated you so badly? Remember what you said… it’s the cover you fell in love with…not the real nasty inside.

[@weird_al77]

@@Oceansgreen Thank you :) Most of the time it's not too bad, but every so often the loneliness gets to you. I reckon when I wrote this was on of those times. Doing better now :)

[@marciodavila6275]

The worst part now, for me, is the hate myself, feel stupid and don't see a way out. He did a good job.

[@chriswatters1049]

Just now getting divorced from my narcissistic wife after 6 months of being separated. She's done the love bombing to string me along and then turns around and makes me feel bad about myself and calls me the crazy one. She wants a year of separation but is about to get a big surprise in a simple, yet thick envelope. Thanks for this video, it is very insightful and so relatable.

[@beeman7711]

Wants a year of separation because she has someone new in mind and wants you as a backup plan, my man. My narcissist ex wifey wanted the same thing a couple times before... "A year?! How bout a lifetime!?"😂 Sometimes they want you to beg for them to stay as well. Record them acting horribly before you go, collect evidence! It can save your ass.

[@cobbler40]

Make sure you are happy having a great life and successful that really gets to them.

[@jenalynmichaud5927]

HE DID DESTROY MY WORLD.

[@raversfantasy8873]

What did he do?

[@surfshack2]

You are a sensitive and enlightened person just like me. I'm 4 years no contact. You can feel sorry or think about your ex toxic relationship , just remain no contact. You can never go back. But it's ok you have yourself. And that is so important.

[@paulmoore7064]

It's true! Living well is the best revenge.

[@AprilScott-ke9fn]

He hoped for me to unlive myself

[@tiffanypoehler6191]

Yes they do hope for that.

[@melaniea4901]

I furthered my career & started traveling!

[@lakegirl7729]

I am going through a break up right now with a narcissist and this helped me more than you know. Thank you so much.

[@emmarae4322]

Don’t go back, they are worse. Stay strong.❤

[@toodleloo2253]

I seem to have overcome my encounter with having a close narcissistic friend "discard" me. At one point, she could have beaten me down (even stole some personal property from my apartment-!), influencing mutual friends, & turning all my good memories & time invested into something very negative. I could have become bitter or retaliated (angry forever!), but I decided to rise above & be true to myself. My Faith totally helped to guide me!!..I remember the happy times, don't live in resentment, & feel like the Stronger soul, in the end!!- Plus, I've stayed open for great new friendships! :)

[@donnerblitzen1388]

That happened to me too. In fact, twice it happened. I had my car stolen, my apartment robbed while I was at work and I was “discarded” after they had decided that I was of no more value to them. Now, I am middle aged with zero social skills and just really wanting a trustworthy friend. The sheer volume of absurdity I have endured would have made others either go crazy or die, I am just incredibly lucky or incredibly stubborn (stubborn runs in my family). I see my siblings with their friends and families, children included and I feel like crap because of my poor decisions and the abuse that I went through with my supposed friends. I’m glad that my parents took me back in when I hit rock bottom and was contemplating the consequences…THOSE consequences. I’m seeing a therapist about all this, but this comment answered a lot of questions I had. Thank you from a grateful man. May your day be happy.

[@tee3835]

Its nice to hear there is hope! Happy you have moved forward i'm really looking forward to being optimistic about humans again.

[@OfftheChainz]

This video blew my mind because it is the best I have seen on this topic. God restored/is restoring me after being reduced to a shell of myself by a narc and the entire video was just on the mark. If you are lucky, the right person will show up into your life and shatter that protective shell, helping your authentic self to blossom and grow. Funny enough, your new version will most likely be even bettee than the one you lost and the bonus is that by now, you will have learnt how to set healthy boundaries.

[@georgew.5639]

The way to prove that the narcissist is lying is to counteract the lies by being the best self that you can be. And do it in front of all those who are believing their lies.

[@madeleinegrayson8372]

You don't need to prove anything to anyone.

[@MJ-qb5ph]

@@madeleinegrayson8372yes!

[@jenp342]

This solidifies truth more in depth about narcissistic abuse. The gaslighting, the shaming, the trauma,….the narcissists become better narcissists. Trying to prove to others who you really are, is a waste of time. I’m understanding more, the healing is much deeper. The more I understand the clearer things are.💯🕊.Thank you for sharing this video.

[@etaokha4164]

When one door closes another opens 🙌 😌 🙏. Leave before its too late

[@susanmartin870]

Yes and dont DONT go back and open that door!!!

[@Phoenixoceans33]

This one hit, 5 months out and full no contact. I have remunerating periods still which is really tough, this reminded me of so many things that are clear one day and not the next. Keep watching, keep educating yourself people. Never give up your full life potential x

[@Nerine98]

Thanks kind soul, you too!

[@Phoenixoceans33]

I have now been full no contact for 10 months, I am me 2.0! Do not ever ever ever go back and NEVER go back X you’ve got this x

[@Nerine98]

@@Phoenixoceans33 thank you for the update, I'm 4 months after the discard and I feel soul-crushing longing and pain, I feel so done and powerless at times, but other times, I feel so light and well...... this is beginning of my first month where I try the stone walling

[@sammy6176]

I'm forever grateful to my ex narc because I did break down and I made an agreement with "the universal force" that was guiding me that all my foundations needed to go. I then started to rebuild myself to who I was meant to be. I didn't fight it. For me, within 2 months, my finger stopped pointing at my ex and to myself. Yes, I was so angry, broken down but things just starting happening for me. I was told I can't control what others do, only myself. I had to take control of my health and weight. Things I can control. So much changed for me, everything. My narc ran away because I figured that they had been up to something. I described the experience as a "light switch" one minute they loved me, the next second they were like a slab of ice and being so incredibly mean and hurtful. But I sussed they had their eyes set on someone else and when I confronted them they ran because they got caught out. We had bought a house together so when they came back again after about 7 months and saw me for the first time I had changed and I know it totally messed with their head. I wasn't afraid of them anymore or emotionally fragile. I told them that they didn't break me.. they broke me open. It was time for me and the universe wasn't going to stand by and watch me do this again. I realise when I look back at my life there were so many messages and now they make sense. I was "told" when I decided to go out with tmy ex narc that "this will be the last one" I dint know why I felt that 14 years ago but 14 years later it all makes sense. Sometimes it can be the best thing that ever happens to you. I'm so strong now it's crazy. I think for some this experience weakens your deepest part of your soul. I healed so many of my wounds and I'm still learning so much. Much love and strength to all 💚

[@consciouscitizen6211]

💗 thanks for sharing

[@amberinthemist7912]

This is so beautiful thank you for sharing so much. I was slowly gaining some independence from my narc older sister when she decided to discard me. I think she envision me breaking and bowing down to her again but instead I broke free. I've been no contact with her for 3 years and my life has taken off. My health, my relationship, my emotional health, my education - they've all improved. I've also been able to see thr narc patterns and am going low contact with other lesser narcs.

[@Stuff7164]

@@amberinthemist7912 - "I've also been able to see thr narc patterns and am going low contact with other lesser narcs." I'm SO glad you shared this, as I think what you just said flies under so many peoples' radar! The "narc filter" that gets installed as part of our healing journey, doesn't just work with the ex-narc in our lives!

[@reneepeck9743]

I want to thank you for sharing this as I am on this exact path. I have not had anyone to express this exact experience. I have a lot of appreciation that the universe is taking care of me and my healing journey. I am just at the beginning. But I broke completely. Something happend to le and the days started to change and I am healing. I have a few good days over some hard day or unbelievable moment that seems impossible to have experienced. But thank you for the share and the love.

[@clintonnagy1662]

I am grateful for meeting my ex. It wasn't the perfect relationship but I see me faults and know I can do better in the future. I'm also grateful to have dated such a beautiful woman despite her problems. I don't normally get women like that so it's hard for me to let go. I feel grateful for the good times. I'm sad it ended but I know it's for the best.

[@gossipgirl3676]

Your message is a blessing! So many victims…forgive yourselves for not knowing & never, never give up on getting free & restored🎉 Please, please, enjoy your freedom💃

[@robertdemeter5793]

Simply drink a lot of Ayahuasca and she will show you in incredible detail all the people in your life who have been intentionally abusing and manipulating you that you couldn't see before (via universal consciousness of Spirit), - including the lies of religion, ideologies, beliefs etc. As Mother Ayahuasca is the divine Holy (Wholly meaning whole Within) Spirit of ALL Nature and Creation. She will show you ALL of the horrific people that are blocking your true divinity. As only then will you be completely free and able to spiritually ascend and come into your true Soul purpose on this magnificent magical multi-dimensional planet spiritually in endless joy, inner light and unimaginable peace and supreme clarity by inhabiting infinite consciousness of spirit Within you, and living the most beautiful adventurous life that you never thought was remotely possible.

[@chadnordstrom2742]

I learned to pretend and give them their way and give them the power they crave while hiding my brain and soul deep inside. The same as hiding my toys and belongings as a child protect who you are and learn resilience and self love. She finally discarded me and as I know the bear is gone I got a 50 caliber gun video taping her taking our children on drug deals now stay silent and wait. Stay strong people the world is beautiful and you only have a short time here breath ❤️❤️❤️

[@JLswatchthis]

I crashed after the discard, anger rage sadness, those days are gone, i feel just peachy now two years later

[@aaronhuskey8581]

This content is so much better than some weak counseling. You are spot on.

[@theferin22]

After i found out he was mirroring me. I realized i love myself too much, to be drowning in misery for a evil person. He showed me his true self. I did not love that person at all. Happier to be alone than walking behind evil. He did not remove my faith in love. All the hurt was sophicating me. Until i grasp for air and felt alive again.

[@mami-e2q]

so true: you dont have to prove anything to anyone! YOU ONLY HAVE TO BELIEVE IN YOURSELF!!!and GOD. I had friends for a lifetime who shocked me to believe the narcisist! over me...who I have never ever did anything to hurt them in 25 years. So this was...also reveling for me who are my TRUE FRIENDS. I actually found out that STRANGERS told me the truth over family and friends...wow.

[@stephensmith9795]

It’s been almost 3 years since I got out of an abusive relationship with a narcissist. She was emotionally and physically abusive as well. The ptsd, anxiety, and depression I’ve experienced since has been debilitating. I have pushed everyone away and become extremely guarded. I had a minor nervous breakdown this weekend after having a nightmare about them. I really appreciated this video. It’s extremely validating to hear this analysis and I thank you for sharing. Wish everyone here health, happiness, and peace.

[@loveself6396]

I slaughtered a narcissist male lover this week. He told me he was too embarrassed to be seen out in public because I gained 17 pounds. I’m a size 10. That’s not even fat. I went out on three dates this weekend at nice restaurants & guess what, he was stalking my Instagram stories. Lol . Then I blocked his ass.

[@anir8023]

My bf said to me after seeing some of new pictures of me … oh u are not ur usual normal …. :( I was like what do u mean … he said normal I use to see u when I met you …. 😢

[@venicec3310]

Slaughtered? A little dramatic but ok lol

[@bahamasbroyt]

Kind of cold but ok😅

[@MM-jr3jd]

😂😂 how unnecessary

[@johnbrooke9948]

Although you may not realize this but 17 pounds in bodyfat gained is a lot of weight. Its easier to lose when you are younger but you will get to the stage where you keep piling on the weight. My advice is keep out of restaurants and fast food anf watch your calories. Also take plenty of excersize.

[@tamtamz8733]

Your delivery is very calming. Thank you.

[@harleyfsbo3027]

You are so right about waking up to the ‘2 personalities’ ... pre and post narcissist personalities. And just when you realize that and remember WHI you WERE, that’s when the narc feels most threatened and that’s when the discard begins.

[@nin9249]

Trafficking survivor here, i just watched this after the triangulation covert video and had a profound memory recall. I am 48 , this memory is 30 years old. I remember trying to eat at the table and being chastised while eating. I had replied to something with a phrase along the lines of ‘ i like rave’ or ‘im a raver’ in response to being called worthless pointless or similar. My mum said i was fake and everything i liked was fake, and i said to her, raves are real, i am real. This is a memory which wanted to be known now 30 years on. It points me toward the answer. I had something i enjoyed and identified with. A whole movement. The concept of musical movements like this is freedom, unity and cultural development. Maybe my subconscious is aware that this point in time is asserted myself and voiced something i enjoyed and loved, and maybe my healing can be found by reviving the movement within myself again. Putting up pictures of flyers and wearing the clothes, using the buzz words, playing the music, just embrace my youth. These memories are jigsaw pieces xx

[@marciaturley2850]

So glad to be out of this relationship. I will never return. This was a really good message! Thank you so much.

[@lobsterbisque7567]

I was stuck for a short while after I walked away. But through my friends & family, I regained my confidence. They reminded me How loved & valued I was for who I was. Shortly after that, I landed a better paying job with benefits. Now I make more money than she does, and living a higher quality life than she ever has! She has no friends that she can turn to or trust, and has no savings. When I left her, she was lonely, paranoid, angry, broke, and unfulfilled! Last I heard about her she was still fighting for custody of her son while drowning in lawyer fees. Now I'm the one making progress while she's the one that's stuck😆😆😆😆 I'm so glad I had so many loved ones to help me walk away from such a toxic woman! I'm so glad the relationship was so short, she couldn't establish any trauma bonds with me. Looking back, I'm glad I went through that short time of abuse, it motivated me to make progress just to prove to myself that I was worth more than she could ever make of herself

[@Taylor-ge5ex]

Be careful not to laugh at others pain cus you could get it aswell

[@MsApplegreentea]

The thing about leaving a narcissist is that the further you walk away the clearer you see. You just need to be brave enough to walk away in the first place.

[@robertgold2643]

Thanks for posting this. I’ve listened to hundreds of KZbin’s on the subject but never heard anyone so accurately describe the inner feelings that come along with n abuse. And for plainly saying time won’t heal the traumas, 7 years on I’m finding that out for myself and your validation of that fact is huge.

[@SecuritySpecial]

Robert. Thank you. I honestly wondered why, after 30 months away from my narcissistic ex, I still love her. Time isn't the expected healer that I anticipated. This video has been a pretty brutal realisation of how malignant my ex was and how she's still eroding my trust in myself & others. You'll get through this ; I'll get through this ; we are survivors.

[@DoeJohn-z3p]

Wow finding this at this moment Is a blessing looking forward to maybe joining your zoom I felt what you said about them wanting you to be fake like them after I threw my ex out after she revealed her true self she tried to tell me I will never be the same as I was again like she thought she could change the essence of who I was and it seemed to bring her so much pleasure to think that was true but guess what if she did change me it was for the better I never seen someone so proud of thinking they destroyed another person and they damaged them so bad they would never heal so sad that this was the real person hiding behind the mask she had on all that time 20 years and no I didn't even figure it out she showed me who she was

[@brianj4705]

Your voice is so beautiful and peaceful.

[@TyJames1219]

This woman, Rebecca Zung, and Dr. Ramani are like beautiful angels on earth for the work they do. I didn’t go into this with confirmation bias, instead I wanted to prove to myself that this wasn’t what was happening to me in my relationship with someone that has so many good qualities. But everyday I was learning that this is what I’m dealing with, blatantly . It’s scary how accurate all of this is. There’s no way these people are smart enough to plan this behavior out. It is just their natural setting, but they are proud of it and they do know they’re hurting you. Mine is especially proud because she’s very privileged and knows she has near unlimited options. The silver lining is I have a lot more negative to reflect on to ease into the separation. Even better is I know she’s expecting me to grovel at her feet and I know she’ll see me grow without her and not let this crumble me.

[@Brittany-Godsveryown144]

My entire life. 5 years free!!

[@MaryIsbell-i6g]

Girl you are spot on I couldn't explain it better myself

[@Glitterip]

I’ve been a subscriber for I think a few years now and I absolutely love your content and how you share it so passionately and freely. Truly thank God for you Michelle

[@BillyHendricks-wm1yq]

DEAR Maggie Bless you're ❤ you know it is so heartbreaking to go through this with a narcissist.and then find out later what kind of people these really are.and on the other hand it is interesting to learn about them.i Thank God for his deliverance.and the understanding that I have now.may God Grant you your Hearts desires and may Your Dreams come TRUE Sweetheart in JESUS NAME With MUCH LOVE 💕 From Somewhere in OKLAHOMA

[@Glitterip]

@@BillyHendricks-wm1yq thank you so much! All your words mean so much ♥️🙏 God bless you

[@Julesnpearls1]

This was probably the most helpful video. I have watched since my ex and I broke up. I have made the mistake of trying to stay in contact with him, but only by lashing out at him. I want him to feel as bad as he has made me feel, and I feel so bad. Something I’ll never understand is how someone can spend two years of their life with you, both experiencing and sharing some very beautiful, intimate moments that I believed, only enriched the connection between us, but it was for nothing, it meant nothing to him. I cry nearly every day, I beat myself up, and my life isn’t familiar to me anymore. I feel alienated from the rest of the world, and my mind feels cloudy every day and I just want relief. Thank you for the advice. From this day on, I will no longer reach out to him.

[@aaronlarsen7447]

My narcissist wasn't particularly interested. I showered her love and she called me a narcissist, said that I was love bombing her. She destroyed my character, left me in shambles. I really loved her. What I thought was her. A descent person would have just said they don't share the same effection. You dust off and move on. It's a crime what they do. The person you loved isn't real. It's easier when you know that.

[@xodancerxo]

I wonder if she was a victim of a narc in the past?

[@aaronlarsen7447]

@@xodancerxo She said her ex husband was, and her mom horribly abused her. I'm Ok now. I pray for her and that she doesn't reduce the next guy to rubble.

[@theb2694]

​@@xodancerxoThat sounds like a BPD/NPD personality. They are always the victim in their own minds yet they do toxic things like smear campaigning.

[@OlgaLNahorny]

My sister was the person who victimized me since 5 years of age. I am 58 now. So almost 50 years of thos abuse. I am more confident now . Since the age of 49 I left my parents home not realizing I was victimized abused by my sister and that she was a Narcissist. I now know this. I still am not my authentic self and sometimes wonder if I am a faker like the Narcissist. Instead now that I listened to you I know it is me surviving. I am a people pleaser and also did not know why I do that. I now know it's because I fear what a person will do if I say no. I am constantly challenged when I say no. So thank you for clearing this up for me. She doesn't call anymore when I finally stood up to her. I think though like you said she believes I will not show up in the community I used to belong to and shined in. I was a dancer singer played the piano. I do none of those now. Her daughter did all that. So she dis the one up game. So when my niece showed up as a singer dancer playing the piano it then looked like my niece is all these things She is the talented one now Not me anymore. So she took my identity my sister and my niece. I felt like a failure and never went back to those talented areas in my life. Now I see myself differently and do not sing and well I now walk with a walker so I don't dance and playing the piano I now have carpal tunnel syndrome. Wow you are so right

[@rustyhands8179]

49!?!?!?!?!

[@denisj6089]

This video is so accurate, I was raised by a narcissistic father and have had a few narcissistic partners. Being stuck in that protected self kept me from living life for decades.

[@victoriacoghlan3954]

Procrastination: I don't feel safe to do that. What an epiphany! Replayed over and again. Hoping you know what a blessing you are to so many. Getting to know ourselves again is critical for a fulfilling life. Thanks and gratitude from us to you.

[@rossmarlin4947]

Everything I did wasn't good enough 😊

[@jackiep5009]

For someone who stinks. Yes it was just not to that loser!

[@77sunflowers]

I started saying, I don't know who I am...that's when I knew something was wrong....

[@MOEBIUSSLAB]

Seeing my self healing journey reflected in your talk. I have been finding again my true self and recovering my self angency, after the narcissist tried to destroy my true self, that what the narcissist cannot be/have. Also I have discovered how powerful i feel when i started giving a damn about all those enablers and flying monkeys who made the trauma worst with their downplaying, excusing and ignoring of the abuse, because i finally understood that is the kind of people I don't want in my life, so i care nothing about what they think.

[@WorldOfARandomVegan]

I completely relate to this! I am finally getting to a better place after narcissistic abuse. This video has helped because it reiterates that he wants me to be stuck and unhappy. That's like a slap in the face challenge to NOT let him win!