Narcissists Have Emotions

[@MinnieTyko]

In the words of the narcissist “I’m sorry you feel that way”

[@DrmCom2003]

Narcissists base their relationships on control not love. Feeling a geniune emotion = loss of control which also leads to anger and rage due to feeling inferior. Their is no middle ground!

[@lauraf.e2788]

Thanks Sam. I still find it hard to fathom, quite how narcissists get themselves into this giant mess. To bury the true self...I can't even imagine.

[@ianreed7605]

Cosima Von Liebenau I don’t agree that it’s done to them. There is no doubt that the initial seeds are planted from hands other than the narcissist themselves. But it is without doubt a fact that despite their ability to identify that they are ‘not normal’ they choose to believe that this is simply everyone else and not them. They refuse to address it and that is a choice.

[@renatehoffmier9119]

When I cried my EX would laugh. When my Dad died he did not say anything. Just another day for him........

[@rremyy1]

They are cursed and need to be free i believe its possible only by God.

[@carolloraine223]

renate hoffmier Same thing happened to me when my dad died. No comfort or anything. .

[@dragonfly1955]

Mine looked at me like an insect when I would cry. Which was alot

[@ST-cv4fc]

My ex demanded sex 10 mins after I found out my grandmother died.. i’m weirded out now that I know what it is.

[@Yasharahala]

Or maybe it’s just different for men and that does not make him a narcissist just has no idea how to “comfort” and wants to give you space as most Men want when they’re distraught?

[@saraG100]

So accurately described. Sad, but perfectly describes what I've lived with for over 25 years of marriage. The foggy suspicions now are so clear. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for putting this into words and for helping me to understand my soon to be ex husband. So complex of a subject, fascinating, yet sad. Bless you and your work Sam.

[@shellihopkins3885]

100% bless you for clearing up my husband 🙏😌 dear Lord this is so much what I needed to know.

[@Rodrigomendesdf]

I'm a narcissist myself, a result of a terrible childhood. I fell lucky to be self-aware of my condition, this was my first step towards a more happy life. Edit - Wow, so people really think someone can't grow and learn? I wish the best for you all, once the owner of the channel its a self-aware narcissist. I also don't need to get into a relationship with a "good person" because people are much more diverse than "good and evil", and I like myself as I'm, if you don't like it that's not my problem!

[@lashaeleaf8842]

Rodrigo Mendes. Good for you. Please keep up the work.

[@dragonfly1955]

Please don’t get in relationships with good people

[@notsev7566]

Same here and I have only in recent months realised how destructive my behaviour was

[@AbcAbc-ii8zm]

@@dragonfly1955 the only problem is whether people like you who are considering themselves good are really good - narcs are usually attracting same destructive, co-dependand people, like passive-aggressive and etc.

[@celestialpennington8417]

Would a narcissist benefit from someone showing this video? Or would the realization make him devolve even more?

[@charlottelouise209]

My father was a narcissist. I only learnt this after he had died. I'm not a defender of narcissists but people are all different and narcissists are the same too. I believe that the covert narcissist wanted love. People can laugh at me but I knew him. I had a childhood and until he died I knew a narcissist but I was unaware about this. I'm talking about the cn I knew and no other narcissist and he was battling his disorder. My behaviour wasn't my best but who's would be with someone who doesn't care about your thoughts or feelings. I was supposed to be him and think like him? Well I'm me and not a mind reader. He needed something from me and I believe it was more than supply. I'm a scapegoat daughter so I've got problems but he just showed his hurt feelings on his face. My late father was a robot but he wasn't.

[@Larkin4840]

My narcissistic ex use to tell me that I was trying to manipulate him whenever I showed emotions and he would say that he was practicing emotional discipline by forcing himself to not feel emotions and to be 100% logical. He said emotions made him weak. I told him he’s weak because he’s too afraid to feel anything and it’s illogical to hurt yourself and everyone around you. He’d congratulate himself on how emotionless he is and then have a tantrum like a little kid screaming “NO!” if you tried to talk to him. His dad severely beat him when he was a kid and his mom pretended like she didn’t know it was happening but if your husband was beating your kid bad enough that it split the skin open across his back and then dumping him in hot salt water I think you’d know or hear it happening. I suspect there was sexual abuse as well because he had a lot of sexual issues like victims of childhood molestation sometimes show. Someone made a profile of him on a website to expose cheaters and it listed out his whole routine. He finds women in vulnerable situations, some of them escaped domestic violence, multiple of his targets had autistic children including me and I’m not sure what that’s all about. I think he likes to tell him self that he’s helping them and then he ends up taking advantage of them and acting like they were just using him. Like clockwork it’s the same story. He finds the same type of women, falls in insta love, treats her like she’s the best thing ever, convinces her that he’s in love, gets her to move in with him and then starts leaching off her, stealing her money, staying drunk and moody, having tantrums, making up things to accuse her of and then he shuts down and suddenly kicks her to the curb because he’s already been seducing the next woman. I’d almost feel sorry for him because I know what it’s like growing up being beat by a parent and being sexually abused and having to create a fake world to hide in but I never hurt anyone but myself. I don’t understand why some abused children grow up to become their abusers and some grow up to continue getting abused. You’d think we’d want to break that cycle and protect others from what we went through

[@melissatilton4427]

Oh my... this is so enlightening. My life for the last 8 years... so painful and completely confusing. Thank you so much for this clarity!!

[@musicleigh3267]

This makes sense. I noticed that when we would receive news bad or good he would watch me to see what the appropriate reaction should be to this news. At other times he would respond at the emotional level of a 4 year old. In some respects I felt like more of a mother or caretaker and in other respects i felt like a guide... telling him what emotions were appropriate and reminding him to do things like ask if his ill friend was feeling better...It's sad.... What a waste of a good man...

[@mojohnson5134]

MusicLeigh disgusting

[@MinnieTyko]

Ugh. It’s sooo emotionally draining to have to regulate your emotions and the emotions of another adult.

[@dianematlock7922]

@@MinnieTyko they try so hard to destroy anything good about you... because they gotta be the best...

[@misstmemrs]

Many times they have parental alienation syndrome psychosis. Sometimes grandmothers undermine the mothers authority and condition the child to report back to her. It's amazing there are so many fairy tales about wicked mothers. In real life they have a sweet mask.

[@abisolaabisola7357]

My narcissists tried to manipulate me by telling me my job is to take care of him.

[@Ambergris24]

two family members-Both would display rage, or fake crying to control me. The only emotions they are in tune to are their own , others emotions don't matter to them they only pretend to care. I would like to mention that co-dependents can seem unemotional because of the fact the narcissist has ridiculed the victim for having them , narcissist will put you down for crying or think its funny, if your angry they laugh at you, and accuse you of having no reason for being upset about anything they have done.Why heck don't you know they are freaking perfect! If your happy that is the worst, they will strike you down!!!!!!!!!! Its their purpose in life to make their victims as miserable as they are. They might try to appear to want you to be happy and may actually succeed but it wont last they will swoop in and shit all over it!!!! If your angry at someone else they get that evil smirk because they enjoy watching you suffer . When a family member passed away several years ago , another family member came up to me and whispered in my ear that the person has passed away I was sound asleep, I swear the person that whispered to me sounded like they were smiling as they spoke the words!!! Sick people!

[@christinehaigh9807]

they rake people over the coals every chance they get.

[@christinehaigh9807]

Narcissists have emotions... really??

[@samvaknin]

christine haigh Narcissists and Emotions groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/narcissisticabuse/conversations/messages/5248

[@rebaunderwood5996]

Holy shit! I admire your bravery in exposing narcissism so fully. It's brilliant.

[@heatherwiltshire2621]

T😅is is so enlightening and so helpful having been with someone for 22 years and known them 32 years and it has taken me so long to work it out that he is a covert narcissist. Having experienced the love bomb, devaluation and discard so many times at great personal and emotional cost and wounding, I am finally moving on for self preservation's sake. Thank you for the final piece of the puzzle. 😂😅😊

[@VeVeEm]

One of the best videos. Seriously.Thank you. Since I have figured out that I was in soul annihilating relationship with narcissistic psychopath I wanted to know what he felt as it was so mind twisting and soul hurting to the point of total emotional overdrive on my part.

[@ilovebobthecat]

we were like deer in the headlights, learn and run!

[@bonitaj8803]

You have encapsulated the core essence of this pathology and presently it so adeptly - that both protagonist and victim can better understand what the mindset looks like - tragic as the consequences invariably are! Thank you!

[@lindavangalder2712]

I know you published this video almost 9 years ago, but this is very true and very descriptive of a narcissist. The other day my sister, who is a covert narcissist picked up the phone by accident to me. She has not answered a single text, e-mail, or phone call to me in about a year and a half. She only picked it up because she thought it was my sister because we have almost identical area codes, but they are one number apart. She was like, "Oh...it's you. I thought it was Brenda." Then she started bawling real hard. I asked her what was wrong. She didn't answer me. She was real close mouthed and suspicious acting. After a while as I was doing all of the talking, she said, "Well.. I have to get back to work and said I'll call you later," real hesitantly. Like of course I knew that would never happen. She did say to me that she was taking one medication for PTSD, which is a lie. That's what I have and she knows it. It is like she remembered that and had to bring it up to make me feel sorry for her and the fake tears. There is no help for this woman. I remember when she was a beautiful child and she started changing about the age of 13 and from that point on she kept getting more narcissistic over the years. Now, she is in her mid forties and she is one of the worst narcissists that I have seen. My Dad was a malignant narcissist and my Mother was codependent. Anyway, I will never understand her, but thanks for enlightening people about this subject.

[@reemalzubaidy9434]

after hearing this i dont think im a narc im just a people pleaser mixed with some narc traits

[@reemalzubaidy9434]

Waterwoman thanks your kind words warmed my heart ❤️

[@Cneumann22]

Your vids have been so very helpful. I encountered a narcissist chiropractor who inappropriately touched me - even though there are 30 years difference in our ages. Had to change my phone number and block him from my email to enforce my demand for no contact. Your vids have helped me to understand what I went through - I had no previous knowledge and did not understand why he was behaving as such. Thanks so much!

[@6Eulogy6]

And most of the time it's a high positive emotion, so they can get their winner's narcissistic supply.

[@antinecromonger]

Thanks again ! All these videos have helped me understand why my former boy-friend/friend behaves the way he does with me. I think he has started to project his feelings of co-dependence on me. I think he thinks as if he understands me completely!

[@Chasing70]

in my opinion, these kids were born with an abnormal temperment. I witnessed this by observing my family of Narcs for 50 YEARS. THIS IS AN IN BORN TRAIT. THIS IS A GENE THEY WERE BORN WITH. My Narc members were treated well, disciplined like the other kids etc, This is a lie about abuse from childhood. I will fight anyone on this! I am going to study this more intensely over the next year or two. I bet I will believe the same way. Life experience combined with a Bachelors in Psychology & listening Intently to you, Dr. Vaknin & others has led me to this belief. I will start writing down what I can remember of dealing my father, brothers, husband, & now my precious sons! It is like a cancer.

[@samvaknin]

Pathological narcissism is a reaction to prolonged abuse and trauma in early childhood or early adolescence. The source of the abuse or trauma is immaterial - the perpetrators could be parents, teachers, other adults, or peers. Pampering, smothering, spoiling, and "engulfing" the child are also forms of abuse - see these: vaksam.tripod.com/narcissismglance.html vaksam.tripod.com/npdglance.html vaksam.tripod.com/journal42.html metapsychology.mentalhelp.net/poc/view_doc.php?type=de&id=419 Narcissistic and psychopathic parents and their children - click on the links: groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/narcissisticabuse/conversations/messages/4727 The Genetic Underpinnings of Narcissism vaksam.tripod.com/journal43.html Portrait of the Narcissist as a Young Man groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/narcissisticabuse/conversations/messages/5048 Adolescent Narcissist - A Case Study samvak.tripod.com/narcissistadolescent.html

[@Chasing70]

Thanks. I admit I did give in to him even as a young child! My personality is the type that I will work very hard til I am in physical pain to give my son the material things or the demands of my time, Sam. My husband of all these years, his own father has a personality that he only takes care of his own needs most of the time. I think he even has Aspergers. His dad would act out in anger if I asked for help in raising our two sons. He even laughed when my son would harm me physically or emotionally. I feel like I am in a nightmare still. I am barely making it each day. I will study the links you gave me. I am fearful today because I am trying to leave the state in my RV, but my son wants to see me. He actually lured me over to his apartment in September, then called the police & lied to them. He even got a restraining order against me. I am trying not to take it personally, but I can't help it.

[@tamraaah6572]

I disagree. I believe narcassism is because of some trauma that a person experienced as a child. My ex best friend (female) is a narcassist. Her mom left her and her brother for days at a time to take care of themselves and her father was an alcoholic who had mental illness. She developed narcassism as a coping mechanism and now whenever something emotional happens she retreats and surpresses emotions. We are no longer friends because she was extremely jealous of me and any attention that I would get from men. Also I was her narcissistic supply. I see it now but I didn't know it back then. She was too toxic and I have to end the friendship.

[@samvaknin]

Narcissism and Asperger's www.narcissistic-abuse.com/journal72.html

[@sueadams4624]

Would like to hear your observations on father and brothers

[@alexisabercrombie53]

I feel sorry for these children, really

[@KT-bm6qr]

ha, ha, do they? I love the crocodile tears they can do (behind their hands, so you can't see their face).

[@GigiDrummond]

OMG!!! This is soooo true!! It's like everything he does is staged complete with the hands over the face! So glad you said this. Now I know it's not all in my head.

[@sarahlowry9633]

I've noticed not just when they cry, but also anytime they are caught off guard they resort to the hand shield lol

[@maryannebennett9697]

WOW!!!!!!Thank you x3 + more. You are discribing what I felt & observed in my 50yr associaion with my ex from 9th grade to age 60.

[@antinecromonger]

Can a narcissist truly understand the love someone else gives him? I feel disturbingly confused by my narcissist's displays of public, as well as, private affection. He seem so tender and sweet! Everything we engaged in was sweet and tender. So I am not sure my narcissist is a full blown narcissist. I like to believe he poses the capacity to truly love someone? Can some lesser narcissist love?

[@_greatest_of_all_time_goat]

Of course they have. But only the negative ones. Hatred, jealousy, fear, inferiority etc...

[@lenaduggan4697]

If narcissists don't have true emotions, whey would they cry when their sister dies, and say it is the worst pain they had ever felt?

[@samvaknin]

Imitation.

[@RazorBladeAppleFilms]

I am slowly becoming obsessed with this channel, as I already love psychology, and am now becoming more aware of the people I know, some of which reflect personality disorders. Is there a video of how antisocial's (psychopaths) act or feel in relationships?

[@tearfuleye]

@Forgotten Remedies and this negates his ideas how?

[@tearfuleye]

@Forgotten Remedies yes I did get that. My point is if he can see himself from an objective point of view, it doesn't matter. He is not trying to show npd in a positive light. He is a scientist

[@KateRichards67]

Thankyou so much for this (and your other) video......Having been the victim (and continuing to some degree to be so) of a narcissist, this is incredibly helpful to me....

[@meganchapman5425]

Thank you, this is very helpful and illuminating

[@babs1998]

As a narcissist I’ve realized the only way for my to survive is too kill all emotions that I have, if not, the negative ones will consume me. Of course no emotions makes you Dystonic and immobile. The only emotions I kept are disgust and hatred. It’s the only reason I wake up. My only drive for success and living is merely spite.

[@diannebutler1094]

I don't understand why the narcissist feel embarrassed or is said to be embarrassed. What are they embarrassed about all the time? And why do they ignore a question or statement?

[@ekonamare7219]

My ex gf is a covert narcissist, she is pure evil.

[@StJust]

Sounds like me. Oh, great. Seems like I should probably consider seeing a psychologist.

[@BackInTheDay1990]

Ah yes! The cyborg does exist...

[@HerbandCindy]

This is my husband! Noooooo!

[@alexisabercrombie53]

My condolences

[@lauraf.e2788]

Did you end up leaving?

[@pamelagay12]

Beautiful stated

[@patriciabailhaodasilva5928]

Spot on

[@nellygribble8601]

only for themselves

[@chickasaw9635]

Doctor, can you make some theraputic self help, emotional balancing and integrating videos on for narcissists to recognize then strategize and better balance their negative selfish behavior

[@cindysextonfl]

so... what it the difference between a narcissist & a sociopath?

[@rio-wi1el]

A narcissist understands the differance between right and wrong, a sociopath does not, but even though the narc knows if something he does is wrong, he does not CARE. that is my understanding of the two but i might be wrong

[@MinnieTyko]

Well my narc isn’t very good at sculpting the emotions using words. He sounds fake.

[@caroltrimble2738]

I know a nac that claim he has hiv and that he gave it to his fiancée and so he can't be with me anymore he has to be with her my question is where he got this caring and guilt from all of a sudden. can he really care?

[@sueadams4624]

Sounds like a typical lie to me , let it go and find someone who isn’t narcistic

[@anthonyiuculano6002]

LEAVE RIGHT NOW

[@shellihopkins3885]

Run!!!

[@chrischoo9309]

Let it slide

[@philonqi]

Can a complete trust open up a narcissist to feel normally?

[@majalovric6920]

No

[@EmmEmm-333]

Difficult to understand you and ennoying yo see you reading... Too bad

[@b0vine]

Not a lot. Psychological diagnoses is mythological and outdated. Ask someone enough questions, and you can put them in any box you want.

[@Bunbunfunfun]

You must be a narcissist or never actually been genuinely helped by a good therapist. There is something called “ institutionalize diagnosis” which is often caused by a lazy mental health pro. They will pick the same diagnosis for many people just because he has come across it before and it becomes their default. Often these very poor practitioners will pick the flavour of the week. In the 90s everybody was bipolar. Now in these times narcissism is diagnosed a little too often. So you are somewhat correct. Just lie some MDs can be terrible doctors some mental health pros can be terrible at their job too. That’s why statistically most don’t find the best therapist etc the first one they pick.