Narrated D&D Story: Gandalf The Gay Overthrows A Vampire Cult & Takes Over A City

[@felixlavulpe3506]

My only complaint is that I requested Barnabus to be extra fabulous, and his voice is only mildly fabulous. If RuPaul isn't asking you to tone it down a notch, you're not doing Barney justice. In all seriousness if anyone has any questions about the campaign or character feel free to ask. I wrote down this one a while ago so it's not quite as detailed or specific as Astoshan's and there's quite a bit of shenanigans I didn't cover.

[@allthingsdnd]

We’d probably need Barney Stinson to get that EXTRA FABULOUS voice 👀🙃

[@whamaster6735]

Can we get the story of why you're banned from laying bard?

[@s-8488]

shenanigans you didn't cover?

[@felixlavulpe3506]

@@whamaster6735 I brought bagpipes to a session and completely destroyed every encounter by making everyone slide all over the place into various hazards and weapons while loudly playing Cock of the North.

[@Tigerstarr9]

What alignment was Barnabus?

[@austinmiller2170]

... did this guy seriously make a YMCA in D&D? That is both hilarious and amazing.

[@andyenglish4303]

Young Men's Corellonian Association?

[@felixlavulpe3506]

@@andyenglish4303 Young Mage's Conjuration Association actually.

[@tuskerboar2047]

This guy is known for making amazing characters, look up of archers and accuracy, or of Druids and disgust

[@kalajel]

Young man.

[@Jayman1clone]

@@kalajel Don't you give me no sass I said, Young man.

[@movespammerguyteam7colors]

Player: “I cast fist of the North Star” Everyone dies in the swimming pool. DM: “You’re not allowed to play a wizard now”

[@TarsonTalon]

*Player casually crosses the class off the list, DM unaware of the player's true goal: to be banned from playing all classes.

[@hengistcz1940]

NANI?!!!

[@steveunderwood9307]

We have here an instance of a Wizard casting Punch.

[@LeWille00]

why does this remind me of that : kzbin.info/www/bejne/q5u2m6umiadjnLs :D

[@obi-wank-enobi]

YOU WA SHOCK!!!

[@infinitemind3719]

Everyone seems to underestimate or hate on the character that gets more involved in politics and/or world than rather focusing on making magic items or other things that involve the immediate future. Doing what gay Gandolf did is like planting seeds into the world around you. You may not get immediate results or ones that will be what the party wants, but when the time is right. You will be changing the entire course of the campaign. Such examples are: Teaching youths of a certain age how to do magic or to fight. Donating to the poor or such. Creating/assisting in matters that better the community. Making a hefty donation to the church of the god of death or life. Providing better weapons for the guards or soldiers. Or doing a favor for someone free of charge. All these create the stage in which your character can rise up, shine, and change a what would’ve been up hill battle to as simple as crushing a ant.

[@skycastrum5803]

But whenever I try to make a cult I get immediately shut down. Sad day. Edit: Also convinced some random noble from the past I was a silk merchant and almost got a contract signed with a certain amount of money up front (was hung to actually go through with it), but was playing AL...

[@vinx.9099]

i have quite a number of players doing stuff like that. the cleric that heals everyone, the paladin that assists the guards, the ranger that spreads the word of their dragon cult. that's the kind of stuff that'll make a big impact.

[@shamanrauger9040]

I’m currently collecting bits and pieces of equipment. If I play my cards right, my automatons will be getting upgrades the next time we rest in our main town. I have 14 of them.....and the necromancer has 12 followers in his cult that are due for *ahem* “upgrades” as well. So at the end of the end game year I expect to be living in my immortal mechanical body with my necromancer friend and our 12 loyal assassins, we will eliminate governmental officials and body suit them over our followers. In the world we are playing in there are 6 main nations, a perfect amount for 2 followers each, say king and queen. The other party (we are playing against) won’t know what hit them.

[@LordYalet]

I think it comes down to what kind of adventures your players want to play. If everyone but one does the same thing, it becomes weird and can lead to frustration on both parts. So every participant should be clear on how they intend to play the game from the start as to avoid these kinds of situations. Surely they can find a campaign and dm that cater to each one's particular interest and have even more fun

[@flynn8845]

thank u. good insight

[@matthewturner5178]

The edgelords should have known something was up. Nobody is ever that cheerful without a reason.

[@Bladez10]

They just didn't have a grasp of the situation.

[@josephgeorge5741]

Especially intelligent people!

[@Dragonlover553]

Yeah, really should have realized that things were getting out of hand.

[@Emily12471]

@@Dragonlover553 high five

[@Dragonlover553]

@@Emily12471 *give you a high five*

[@asbestosfish_]

You could’ve said “Bootleg Dumbledore” and been equally as correct

[@allthingsdnd]

I won't say that did not cross my mind, but Gay Gandalf just wins 😏

[@felixlavulpe3506]

I'll be honest that did come up more than once during the campaign. One of the elves tried to get Barnabus to work in the brothel so he could have the title Headmaster. Barney politely declined.

[@deadlineuniverse3189]

Gosh, you thought the same thing? Do I have to delete my comment now?

[@animewatcha]

@@felixlavulpe3506 There's more implications than just 'Bootleg Dumbledore' if you are a Headmaster.

[@drashna]

But bootleg dumbledore is repetitive, because dumbledore was 100% stolen from LOTR and the whole "old man wizard" stereotype.

[@Iojima]

... Gandalf the Gay That’s all

[@jakelewis7083]

I applaud you.

[@Lonewanderer6666]

Put your hands together for such a clever off-hand comment.

[@skycastrum5803]

Gandalf, Gaydalf, Ayd-... Link confirmed. Making wizards gay leads to Hugo Boss making snazzy uniforms.

[@magiv4205]

I now want a Monty Python esque campaign with characters named such as Gandalf the Gay, Dildo Baggins, Samwise Dumbgee, Legolas Weedleaf, Gimli Groin's Son, Merry Brandyfuck and Trippin Tuk. Just for the hell of it.

[@pelyphin0]

I had two friends who lived together - Sam and Frank - we called them Frodank and Samwise Ganja, back when the Lord of the Rings movies were still recent. I don't remember seeing the third movie because of them. I think I enjoyed it.

[@bmyers8356]

2:38; “banned from being bard” ? Explain please.

[@thevoidismyhome7242]

I want the story that caused him to be banned from bardom.

[@thrombox6389]

Already out he bacily made an op bard and ruined a campain in a spectacular manor

[@MelkiorMonster]

@@thrombox6389 Which story title was that one, if you remember? I'm also curious!

[@s-8488]

I hope that story gets a narration at some point, but if not, it's called Of Bards & Bagpipes.

[@thrombox6389]

Sorry cant find try going in favourites dont know saw it a while ago sos

[@rickylee7491]

To be fully fair he did a Luigi play knowing this would all go downhill. Let them kill each other. And in the end he finished who was left becoming king by being a good guy.

[@felixlavulpe3506]

I've never been in an evil party where they didn't all turn on each other at some point. The trick is to make them forget the wizard can wipe the entire party in three turns if you don't keep an eye on him.

[@alexanderlehane3459]

Barnabus wins by doing absolutely nothing.

[@crowsenpai5625]

Gay Gandalf wins by doing absolutely nothing. Though he did have some helping hands.

[@Things_I_wish_I_knew]

This character in many ways is the puny light hearted version of astoshan. Can certainly put you in your place when threatened and otherwise just a fun loving goof. I love it.

[@allthingsdnd]

This was a story written by the author of Astoshan. It was going to be epic, absolutely epic. What do you think about Barney? Let us know in the comments section. And don't forget to catch our next video after 3 days, around 6:30 PM GMT.

[@jerry-wc5gb]

That is one hell of a title AND IT WAS TRUE

[@yousirareafish9746]

All Things DnD I started a dnd Tutorial an my first fight was a orc and I said I cast fireball but I forgot to write down my spells so I could not use. magic and I had no weapons and I lost the first fight I was embarrassed

[@s-8488]

I thank you for making this, it's been far too long since I last read that one. Do you plan to narrate any more of FelixLaVulpe's stories?

[@allthingsdnd]

@jerry mcdoodlefuck You know we don’t do clickbait. We deliver what we promise 😏

[@allthingsdnd]

S- We have narrated Astoshan and Farmer Brown. We’re planning on narrating two more of his stories soon. He’s amazing.

[@chibiktsn3]

Whenever I hear someone was banned from playing bard, part of me wants the story and the part wants to stay far, far away.

[@catnerdadrian7601]

"I'm banned from being bard" huh a barred bard

[@andrewjohnson6716]

🤣🤣🤣

[@storyspren]

"We needed magic and humor, and I'm banned from playing Bard." I'm gonna need to hear that story.

[@liamdalemon1525]

" I'm getting really sick of the Mary Sue vampire" Please tell me you filled the pool with holy water

[@1145223bena]

No but water water worked it seemed

[@buddyb3165]

He did say the pool was maintained by a Wizard AND a Cleric...

[@williamchewning1057]

​@@buddyb3165 ye

[@dragoninthewest1]

@@buddyb3165 the cleric cleans the pool by use Purify Water while the wizard heats it. It's got radiant and fire damage.

[@GreaterGrievobeast55]

THE TWINK SQUAD?! Such vocabulary is quite common on discord servers and insta chats...but a realm of dnd? I should have known better NOT to expect it. YIRBEL LIVES. I hope she’s playing a jauntier tune for this one.

[@striker0]

I had convinced a group to call themselves The Lollipop Guild.

[@Dewani90]

have a like to reach 60, and hope for 9 more for your post to be.... NICE...

[@GreaterGrievobeast55]

Dewani90 ah numbers like those never last with like buttons.

[@Dewani90]

@@GreaterGrievobeast55 heh, they will last at least a second, and that's all I need to type... NNNNICE... anyway, hope you reach a higher number than that.

[@GreaterGrievobeast55]

Dewani90 why thank you!

[@dominiclarratt9968]

I imagine that the hand acts like the ginies hand from Aladdin.

[@rollfortales3069]

Oooh, I like that. But instead, I'm gonna picture it as Carpet.

[@halfofapicture]

That's amazing, Barny basically founded the YMCA, and he's the leader of the Department of Parks and Rec, and he created a utopia.

[@StormTronEladrin]

I've been playing D and D for about 4 years. I've done some crazy shenanigans, Like climbing the wall by punching with the Barbarian, Or train to intimate date the goddess of death. This is got to be move most craziest Dnd I've ever seen. That takes real skill to role play like that and to undermined a vampire that was so cool. They say crime doesn't pay and whose knew that the Lawful good was a way to become the new ruler lol. This really inspires me to create characters that are even more crazy then they already are. I have 2 campaigns where I'm going to level 50. One is a gnome dressed as a dwarf will link a giant living weapon. The other I'm playing as myself in a high rule campaign as a planes Walker. But this has got to be the most hands on characters I've ever seen. I hope I can make a wizard that is as cool as this. I wonder if there is a way to create a close range wizard that does fabulous smites like a paladin.

[@deathcap.]

Missed opportunity for Gandalf the Gay

[@felixlavulpe3506]

Gandalf the Gay became my flair and title after this campaign. It's inescapable.

[@allthingsdnd]

Fixed it 😏

[@deathcap.]

@@allthingsdnd Haha hell yeah

[@ZachIzBeast]

@@allthingsdnd what was the original title?

[@darklusare7582]

@@ZachIzBeast Gay Gandalf?

[@codyriddle1424]

Me introducing my next wizard: “Meet Gaindolf the Swol.”

[@waleedkhalid7486]

Absolutely crazy. Love the fact he was chaotic good all along!

[@universalperson]

It's fun to be at the Y-M-C-ORAORAORAORAORAORA ORA! ...and I just realized while writing this he used his St-hand to beat a vampire. So much Jojo and it wasn't even intended.

[@Eastunder91]

"the dm rolls with it since we need magic and I'm banned from playing bard" THAT'S the story we need to hear.

[@johnballard3403]

I honestly thought this was going to be another case of people not realizing that the wizard was building a city wide magic circle with a few hundred souls for a sacrifice to power it.

[@bencornillie6611]

Calm down full metal

[@andresmarrero8666]

Not too far off. He is now just as powerful with much less death.

[@JDNCLOWD]

Barney just wanted to play some animal crossing xD

[@felixlavulpe3506]

If I had known back then, I would have smacked the party members with butterfly nets to make them go away.

[@BHJ-YM]

My old middle school typo has come true. All hail Gandalf the Gay!

[@terrakross5376]

I so want to play a D&D wizard like this now. Hands down the best themed character I have seen so far! ;)

[@ErikaWeiss633]

And that is how a Neutral Good Wizard took out the Evil party by masterfully outsmarting them. XD

[@DarthHavoc1]

Have you ever read the story of the drunken healer who’s nickname was Saint Nick? I’m asking cause I’d enjoy hearing your thoughts on it.

[@felixlavulpe3506]

Nicoloso Abbottangelo of the United Makerists, to be exact.

[@cacophony7941]

I love this one. You do realize it's by the same guy? Here's a link for anyone who wants to read it: www.reddit.com/r/DnDGreentext/comments/63ndx3/of_faith_fire/ *All* of Felix's stories are great. Dig through his reddit posts and you can read as many as you want.

[@codyholley]

Tell me more

[@graydragoon874]

i wonder if the party expected barney to backstab them as they would have easily done lol

[@ryzukumagawa7143]

Must have been dumbfounded

[@graydragoon874]

probably, no one suspects the pink, shiny and cheerful guy lol

[@Gala-yp8nx]

It was rather underhanded.

[@toby257]

but it comes in handy

[@3verlong]

@@Gala-yp8nx i gotta hand it to you with that pun

[@BlackRainRising]

My first wizard was also my first ever game of D&D having never even heard of the game (haha you just lost the game) before. His name is Sanity. 2nd edition Ravenloft, never played before, lets do this! Became a wild mage and his name certainly didn't reflect his actions. During the course of the game we found a sword that a person popped out of, after saying "that looks like fun" and Ravenloft going "oh you think so?" and putting HIM in the sword making him become the sword at night and by day he was his normal Human Mage self, the DM ruled now at night he was a Moonblade, and that's how he got his last name, Sanity Moonblade, Chaotic Neutral wild battlemage of Ares.

[@gibbous_silver]

Witness the power of my STAND, duergar

[@ПламенПетров-г5н]

Hail Astoshan, self like mode on.. I guess the *bruisers* lived up to my expectations

[@phylippezimmermannpaquin2062]

I lost it when he gave mage hand brass knuckles

[@GregorLol]

I'm surprised that Barney didn't have one of the Clerics maintaining the pool bless the water into holy water, that could of been epic.

[@koopaking6148]

And that my friends is how a happy go lucky character turns into the craziest of them all

[@christopherrhodes3228]

I saw the title and got scared.

[@brendancoulter5761]

"You over played your HAND!" get it guys?

[@Ryomen_mc]

The title says it all, i already like the video and didn't even watched it

[@allthingsdnd]

We promised you epic. We ended up giving you something even better than that.

[@dominiclarratt9968]

@@allthingsdnd finally your guys content quality dropped for a bit and I'm happy to see good stories on the rise.

[@nicodemuswhodak536]

I thought the same damn thing! Gay Gandoff !?! Yep, I need this story in my life right now 🤘

[@randomneck-romancer3144]

I came for copper AND I FOUND GOLD

[@rollfortales3069]

Well, those puns were *in a sing-song voice* FANTAAASTIIIC!

[@sethmiller2532]

This was a delight to listen to. I found myself simultaneously rolling my eyes and chuckling at all the puns, and I thought it was wonderful. As either a player or DM I'd be thrilled to have this guy at my table.

[@OniMalco]

Thats a story you get a party around for and crack open a cold one with the boys. That is freaking great.

[@thrombox6389]

I loved that definitely gonna magpie some off that and twist villan at the end amazing

[@TRTPrower]

Reminds me of 'Nug Tug' The Orc Wizard, a 'wise man' wizard who considered himself to be far more sage than he actually was, usually doing some complex hand motion and chanting from an elven childrens fairy tale book he found and thought was a spell book (but couldnt read), then punching people in the face like the magic was making him hit harder.

[@sign_12scorpio78]

I saw the words "Gandalf the Gay" and I was clicking the video before I read anything else.

[@stormelfraven]

I love this story so much!! Thanks you for sharing!!

[@phillipduda1188]

A fabulous tale of friendship and betrayal.

[@galaxyblade111]

You gotta HAND it to him... he planned that flawlessly.

[@michaelcox9855]

Let's all give this man a hand. He really got a grip on this story.

[@Oh-hi-their-have-a-cookie]

This version of Gandalf, is the best version.

[@arlem525]

Banned from being a bard.... that sounds like a good story in itself.

[@dienur9990]

This is one of my favorite DnD stories I've read was excited to see this channel cover it. I guess I'm easily entertained with all the heavy handed puns.

[@naturalone6529]

Ok, this is officially the most bizarre title All Things DnD has come out with.

[@cwengel22]

Yet it fits perfectly

[@naturalone6529]

@@cwengel22 Weirdly, it does.

[@sunstreak132]

THE PUNS! I'm so happy with this video it almost hurts.

[@karsonkammerzell6955]

Just had "Lonely Chick" come on the radio while watching this and when he crushes the vampire into the pool and she's drowning the song started talking about being in the bath tub feeling like they're sinking, lol.

[@DustyTheKitty]

''If you ban me from Bard, I shall become more *FABULOUS* than you can possibly imagine!''

[@Krystabit]

This is my new all-time favorite ever story about DnD

[@eyeblatter2919]

I thought that the story was quite interesting mainly because the wizard turned out to be very “handy” in the end

[@fistimusmaximus6576]

Ahh I'm about to colour spray

[@GCJACK83]

In short, how Okuyasu and ZA HANDO destroy a cult.

[@jbabylucus1641]

Barney whole scale planned everything from the jump.

[@bethanysmith5856]

that was subtle and brilliant.

[@nazamroth8427]

My ridiculous story: We were doing a Vampire: the Masquerade one-shot. Bad guy was running around town, causing havoc, and risking revealing vampirekind. Boss man gathered our party of unlikely heroes to figure out what's going on and end it. The two important members of the party were: Basically Tony Stark who invented, among other things, laser weapons. This is important, because lasers were basically pocketable sun damage, which is automatic critical against vampires. Other character, me: A madman who got rich off of Google stocks, and used that fortune to fuel his militarism obsession. He had his own mansion with a tank course and collection. More importantly, really good at shooting things... After boss man shot down my initial idea of firebombing a city of a million to make sure we get the BBEG(fire damage is also critical), we do investigations and stuff. Eventually the game runs really late and we are nowhere near finishing. That is, until, we spot the BBEG running on the other side of the river. Too far to do something about it, says the GM.... Nope, says Tony Stark, handing me a laser sniper from the boot of his car. Roll for hit and damage... yep, thats the BBEG one-shot-killed, and he did not even see it coming.... People around him just saw a guy turn to ash. Well, that ended quickly... at least more quickly than it should have...

[@toreyzyre]

Ok, we need more Barney stories. Man, Felix plays the best characters

[@StraightEdgeHippie]

I haven't laughed this hard in a long time! All the hand jokes just got funnier

[@francomaemori7123]

Now what would you prefer, and grumpy old man with years of experience in the wielding of reality bending powers, or a man with the same abilities but with a never-ending cheerfulness ? I say the last is the one I fear the most. For an eternal smile means no threat can fade it.

[@pinkapetdesigns]

I haven't watched yet, but I have high expectations after just seeing the title!

[@pinkapetdesigns]

Oh my gosh XD

[@KingofAces5912]

It’s good to know that the land is now in good hands.

[@TheIcyPanda]

Holy shit that was great! I love Barney! I was secretly hoping he'd do what he did at the end lol

[@danpit2001]

i seriously thought the pool was going to be full of holy water

[@samwhary5498]

I've had 2 wizards I believe. Noiry, who I negotiated with my DM to know every illusion spell, and nothing else. Her whole deal was that she could only use illusion magic. Everything else just backfired. And then there was basilro, the clown enchanter. Both were wandering entertainers but their morality and personalities were quite different.

[@scottjackson5173]

Omg! That's the best laugh i've had in awhile!! 😻💖❤💜 love wins!

[@murphyslaw159]

The puns. THE PUNS. GLORIOUS.

[@BaoHadir]

I guess Barney enjoys throwing hands

[@360entertainment2]

That story, I liked. Seemed like a really chill campaign 😂

[@45potato95]

This is so fucking funny. But you do have to admit, award a shred of respect for the DM for actually letting his perfect creation die.

[@kwehknight9001]

I remember this story. I FUCKING LOVE IT.

[@thomasfoster7387]

amazing, truly amazing. let's all give this player a big hand

[@LuckasSilver]

TLDR: I made a gun wielding pirate lord wizard with a pet sea horse named "Squee." Lord Icarus von Braun V, a lvl 11 Wizard. He has an Fey Familiar named Octavius, and a pet sea horse named Cornelius Archibald Hades von Braun or "Squee" for short. He has created spells like Squee's Den of Water in order to ensure his dear pet can survive outside of the ocean. He is also a pirate lord and doesn't know he's a nobleman from a port city on the other side of the main continent. He doesn't have amnesia. Instead a Genasi Pirate Lord was told he'd be granted protection in the upcoming war if he retrieved and surrendered Icarus to the cultists who's leader had a personal grudge on his parents. (Cult Leader and Icarus' parents were from the previous campaign, that I was not a part of, now the Cult Leader is a player character BBEG) When the Genasi learned that he was going to be used as a sacrifice that would start the war, the Pirate Lord instead hid the boy away and trained him in secret. He isn't a fighter, but does have a proficiency for firearms and shortswords (instead of daggers and light crossbow) and he prefers elemental spells. Our campaign had two wizards, the second is a monk/wizard, a war cleric, a barbarian, and a warlock/rogue. The player BBEG isn't a party member unless they're acting the part of an NPC for when we took on the main story and then the DM was said NPC's boss who answered to the BBEG. It was confusing for us too, but worked out.

[@magicraftmods1945]

Take a shot Everytime op says hand

[@lockwoan01]

Here's my Story (hopefully someone shares it): How a 2-Month Newbie Player made a 20-Year Veteran DM Fail his Wisdom Save Check To start, I started playing D&D in August (5e in case you're interested). I had never played an RPG before, but I've participated in interactive-type stories on a writing site, so I wasn't unfamiliar with the concept. Also, I needed to fill a hole in my social calendar. Thus, after finding out that this comic shop I occasionally went to hosted them, I gave it a shot. It's been a lot of fun. One important thing to note - I have autism, and one of my issues is that when I get fixated on something, I research everything about it. Also, there's a library I like going to. Now, the group's main DM has been playing D&D and other similar games for at least 20 years. He is also ex-military, having served in the Marines, where he was wounded in combat. Thus, he's a Veteran in a couple of ways. Despite his vast experience however, some of his knowledge was lacking - reason is, he only used the Core rule books (Player's Handbook, Monster Manual, Dungeon Master's Guide), as he preferred to support the comic store hosting the group - nothing wrong with it, as one can have a lot of crazy adventures, although one was rather limited. Now, some people did have a couple of the extra books, but rarely brought them. This event changed *everything* about those books. Like many new players, I asked questions - why doesn't this weapon work so well for me? (Lack of dexterity) Why must I roll with disadvantage? (because plate armor is noisy) If I throw the gnome cleric, can I do Holy damage? (I'll get back to you later.) However, I soon asked a Big Question - Me: Can a Holy Priest become a Warlock? DM: Well, a Cult Leader *might* worship their Patron, but I doubt a Holy Priest would worship those who tend to be Warlock Patrons. Me: What if it was a Celestial? That would be a Holy being, right? DM: Sounds like Third-Party stuff. (He has a rule against third-party content) Me: I heard about it on KZbin. DM: So, not Official? Me: I think it might be. DM: Well, I've never heard of anything like it in my experience, and I've been playing for twenty years. You've only been playing two months. Me: Alright. Little did we know that a book from the library would change everything - Xanathar's Guide to Everything - page 54 has the Celestial Warlock - healing and Holy magic basically is given to you from a celestial being, like a unicorn. I read up on it, and I'm like "Alright." Next session, I see some had brought in their own copy. Me: Hey buddy, could you let the DM see page 54 of that? DM: What? Me: I found a warlock a Holy Priest might be. DM: I see. (Turns to other player.) May I borrow that? Other Player: Sure. (Hands the book over.) DM: (Opens the book, and starts reading. We all laugh at idea of unicorn knights. Then, he reads the Level 1 abilities.) Two healing spells? One's a bonus action? (At this, he just freezes, as if he just failed a Wisdom Save.) Everyone stares at him in shock - no one has seen him like this. Sub-DM: I think you broke him. Another thing to note, the DM had caught Creativity Block in his campaign, so another player (Sub-DM) had offered to do "Lost Mines of Phalandover" and the DM was playing a paladin. DM: (Makes Wisdom Save) That just invalidates the reason to play Paladin! (Looks at me in shock.) He got his own copy of Xanathar's soon after - useful for the new Inquisitive Rogue. We also got a few more players. One had clearly read the other books (or at least Volo's) before. Then my mother to asked to join, as she liked the story the DM was telling, having heard about it from me. So, me and the DM went down the list to see what was missing from the party - a Monk. New Player: Hey! A Tabaxi Monk!. DM: Tabaxi? Me: Volo's, page 113. (I show him the copy I have and flip to that page.) DM: Hmm. Okay. I can work with that. Now, my mother is basically Cheetara from the Thundercats. Annoyingly, due to current events in the world, the group hasn't played together in over a month as comic stores are non-essential. But, I've saved up enough money to buy most off the player-related books off of Amazon (except for Acquisitions Incorporated, which I wasn't all that interested in at the time, and Odysseys of Theros, which won't be out until July). Among the books I got was Explorer's Guide to Wildemount, which has the Hollow One template - basically, with DM's permission, you can play as one of the Undead, like a Reverent. Useful, as our Tiefling Assassing (who, along with half the party, was sick with a serious illness) made a deal with the God of Death, becoming an Undead Thrall. So, I texted my DM and told him about it. DM: Official Wizards of the Coast books or Third-Party? Me: Official. DM: I look forward to checking it out.

[@Tioko]

As a lover of puns, Sans and W.D. Gaster, I give this wizard my 200% approval X) He’s amazing!

[@Onlyonedch]

Wow you can really say that this wizard's very "handsy" with his spells.

[@chakatBombshell]

Good wins over stupid evil and it was fabulous.

[@GaidexVillerX13]

wait Gandalf is gay. You mean a more openly gay gandalf.

[@aleisshiki3649]

Gaidex Viller you might be confusing Gandalf and Dumbledore

[@GaidexVillerX13]

@@aleisshiki3649 yap. I was out of it.

[@cactijesus1915]

I didn't play as a wizard but as an Artificer. My artillerist Artificer Theif Rogue was labelled a Coward for running away from most fights, but in reality I was using a Hunting rifle and sniping people with fire bolts and the occasional catapult of bombs I send at the enemies, He was also Far sighted so he can't do close combat

[@Just_Call_Me_Tim]

Gandalf the Gay? You mean.... Gaydalf!? Lol good stuff.

[@theandroidartist5897]

If it were me DMing this, I wouldn't even be mad, Barny took over the entire city by playing the long game and timing disposal of his enemies just right, his middle name may as well have been Starscream.

[@wynnefox]

I honestly expected the pool to be holy water since they had a cleric... on hand.

[@fakeo]

You know, when I heard that a cleric was minding the pool I thought it was going to be a Deadpool moment where he had a priest bless a water tower connected to a hospital's fire sprinkler system. 1 extra large Holy acid bath for a party of vampires!😈

[@hectortankofdoom7746]

My character is a gnomish evocation wizard named Professor Zeck Thost. A former teacher at the College of Magi. He was also the teacher of Eriland's arch wizard, who ends up recruiting Professor Thost.

[@FirstLast-cg2nk]

It's the guys that no one considers a threat that can be the most dangerous in D&D.

[@cpark1019]

My first Wizard Is Elane Gloomker An Illusionist (Miss chance is great to have in your favor) A black and gray clad, owl carrying, cheerful, timid and well wishing Fetchling {Shadowrealm person} who is chaotic neutral Who at one point got some potions as a quest reward from a village and then sold the ones that she didnt need to some bandits that she beat up (with her quarterstaff) (Pathfinder)

[@serge263]

Banned from playing bards? I want to hear the story behind that.

[@dmexavour]

A little over the top and a bit too silly for my taste but well written and quite frankly one of the few I've literally laughed out loud to. Thanks for the story OP and thanks for the narration!

[@lefficy9290]

I had a wizard during a campaign for Curse of Strahd. He was a Rock Gnome Transmutation wizard named Mani Stones, and he "WAS" supposed to be a swiss army knife of spells. Instead he ended up as a oily fur covered nightmare creature with bone wings and ate grave dirt to sustain himself. Power hungry and obsessed with being the greatest thing ever he had a solid gold chariot pulled by two hell hounds. At the end of the campaign he was pulled into his on Demi-plane of Dread and connoicly one day we have to have a side campaign to go to his plane of existence and kill him.

[@segafan2437]

i facepalmed twice, and smiled from start to finish.

[@DrPluton]

My only wizard in 5e was a meticulously clean city-born rock gnome who was stuck in Chult for Tomb of Annhilation. He and nature did not get along.

[@mariagoff5532]

Oh my gosh! This is FABULOUS!

[@CL30]

Banned from playing bard? Now there's a follow-up story!