NES Games No One Played: CONQUEST OF THE CRYSTAL PALACE (Nintendo Entertainment System Review)

[@BigOleWords]

If you’ve seen my videos before you probably noticed I altered the opening this week. Just experimenting, but I appreciate any and all feedback :)

[@christianhunt7382]

i miss the old tune aleady, love the art. did they have a problem with the intro "language"

[@draculaman]

I actually preferred this intro without the song, but I still think you should maybe have the title card first or something, I actually thought I'd accidentally skipped a couple if seconds at the start. Either way, great video, im really glad I found this channel. Genuinely don't think I've ever seen this game before, will have to check it out

[@elgroucho]

It's, honestly, not a BigOldWords video without, "Check this shiiiIIIIIiiiiIIiiit ooOOOoOooUt."

[@jman46241]

I preferred the "Check this shit out!" from Mr. Show. Damn, forgot which skit that was though..

[@goatbone]

I thought it was a mistake! If you do an intro like this you can drop the part in the video where you say the same thing maybe? Either way, we always be checking this shit ouououttt

[@fightclubhubbs]

The dog whistle has a charge feature. Hold the button and the pup will run circles around you and can be fired like a rocket at enemies. You can kill most bosses in 3-5 charged hits doing that.

[@BigOleWords]

What?!? I had idea, that would’ve been great to know!

[@HylianFox3]

The Moon Mirror is also used to kill all on-screen enemies. It can only be used once per stage, though (or is it once per life?)

[@DarkmanPoe]

I absolutely adored this game. I put it on my wish list on my 15th birthday based on just a few screen shots in "Nintendo Power" (I think). I was excited beyond words when I got it. I can still hear the music in my head when I first fired it up. It was just so unique and (I'll say it) magical. Still one of my all-time favorite NES games.

[@BigOleWords]

That’s awesome. I feel that way about Astyanax :)

[@DarkmanPoe]

Oh man! I loved that game, too! I found it back in the day for $20 at an out-of-the-way toy store. Money well spent.

[@marcellachine5718]

​@@BigOleWordsboth are awesome games. Also loved abadox.

[@YungTristin]

This series is right up my alley! Weird and/or obscure games are my jam. Subbed.

[@BigOleWords]

Hey awesome! That’s all I love talking about :)

[@davedixon2167]

Jackie Chan's Action Kung Fu was one of my favorite games! I have NO idea where I even found it - Toys R Us, probably - but I'm really happy to have had it, now that so many years, ugh, decades later I realize it wasn't a common game.

[@BigOleWords]

Yeah that game rules.

[@FalsebitPakoPako]

It was probably more popular on the PCE aka TurboGrafx 16 (where the face was more Jacky and less cutesy)

[@davedixon2167]

@@FalsebitPakoPako I always wanted a TG16 but never had the pleasure. I did play some of the pc engine games eventually in emulators, have to look up that version!

[@JohnnyFiction]

They were going for more of a Chinese aesthetic here, not Japanese, as she's wearing a chi-pao and he's in what looks like an early Chinese robe.

[@BigOleWords]

Huh had no idea. Is that Chinese script as well?

[@JohnnyFiction]

@@BigOleWords I think so, but Japanese games love old Chinese historical aesthetics, like dynasty warriors went on forever

[@BigOleWords]

@@JohnnyFiction You're definitely right there!

[@dieinfire920]

And Kim is a name more akin of Korea and China. There’s many Chinese/Korean aesthetics influenced games, mainly because of the big influence the novel “journey to the west” the classic Chinese novel has. Even dragon ball is derived from that (Son Goku being the “monkey king” with the sacred wooden pole and all). Another game based on that is Capcom’s shooter Sonson.

[@HylianFox3]

@@dieinfire920 The characters are named Tendou (the boy), Rinka (the girl), and Dodonpa (the dog) in the Japanese version.

[@iamsheel]

The graphics are so insane for a nes game

[@RvnKnight]

I freaking LOVED this game as a kid! It, and the rest of my NES collection was stolen while I was in Iraq in 2003, and I'm still trying to find another copy

[@BigOleWords]

Oh damn that’s a bummer! Although at first I was thinking “man this guy brought his NES collection to war with him?! That’s dedication!”

[@BobbyxZx]

i've got a copy on my shelf, never play it. how much is it worth to you?

[@sadskytristeciel1439]

That game had one of the best soundtrack.

[@BigOleWords]

That is something I never mentioned and you’re absolutely right!

[@GoodVibeCollecting]

In stage 3, the blue spiders are baby fetuses in the Famicom version and the background resembles the Scream painting even more. RIP "Check this shit out"

[@BigOleWords]

It may be back, we’ll see ;)

[@shortstoryslam9434]

Love when you do these no one played.

[@BigOleWords]

They’re definitely the largest part of my to do list!

[@shortstoryslam9434]

@@BigOleWords I want to try and chase this one Down

[@Dorelaxen]

Rental for me back in the day. I remember getting about half way through it, then getting stuck on a boss or something and never finishing it. That was the one and only time I ever played it. Might have to revisit it sometime.

[@BigOleWords]

It definitely has weekend rental written all over it, but considering I rented some stinkers back in the day, I would’ve been overjoyed to bring this one home for the weekend!

[@hasongraham8674]

Thanks for making this. I love watching your reviews of lesser known nes games. I hope you are well and keep making more videos. Good luck.

[@BigOleWords]

Hey thanks so much, glad you dig em :)

[@TheFLOMAN76]

I remember seeing this in the video stores for rental. Never did rent it. I don't know why. But now I have it on the emulation so I think I'll give it a shot!

[@BigOleWords]

It’s a rental level game for sure

[@octofuzz7942]

I bought one of those Famicom keyboard educational things back in 2001. It took game carts too and came with a multigame cart. This was one of them. I regret that Famicom keyboard purchase because 12 year old me was hurtin for a PC, we got one after about a month. But I’m glad I discovered this game.

[@catholicactionbibleonlyist1813]

I love the Simpsons reference.

[@BigOleWords]

Finally a chance to slip in a Poochie reference!

[@bholdr----0]

Haha! Yeah... (@1:55- Poochie, we hardly knew thee.) Cheers!

[@electricmastro]

Just for fun, top 20 non-Nintendo/Capcom/Konami/Tecmo platformers on NES: 1. Little Samson 2. Shatterhand 3. Metal Storm 4. KickMaster 5. Journey to Silius 6. Rockin’ Kats 7. Felix the Cat 8. The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles 9. Batman: The Video Game 10. Shadow of the Ninja 11. Power Blade 12. G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero 13. Adventure Island 3 14. Wacky Races 15. Xexyz 16. Panic Restaurant 17. Whomp 'Em 18. Kiwi Kraze 19. Conquest of the Crystal Palace 20. The Jetsons: Cogswell's Caper!

[@BigOleWords]

Well, yeah that’s pretty much all of them! Maybe a little Vice and Jackie Chan as well :)

[@songsan807]

Heard about this game and seen it around for years. Never got a chance to play it even thought got it over 10 years ago from a nes lot at eBay. Now will look for it and give it a quick try. Thanks.

[@BigOleWords]

Man I know that feeling! If not for this channel I probably never would've taken it off the shelf!

[@MotiviqueStudio]

Played Wurm. I remember Conquest's name, but I don't think I ever rented it.

[@Mystemo]

If you like the Asmik mascot he has his very own series of games, at least one of which was released in America "Boomer's Adventure in ASMIK World" for the Game Boy (it's actually pretty fun) 😃

[@BigOleWords]

What?! No way, that rules!!

[@no64256]

I'm surprised at how comprehensive this video feels while only being about 6 minutes long. There's not too many NES games I've wanted to collect (or aren't way too expensive to justify), but I think I might add this to the list

[@BigOleWords]

Hey thanks! It’s up there with stuff like Jackie Chan’s Action Kung Fu as fun if not amazing action platformers on the NES.

[@Frogdoddofficial]

I know this isnt generally considered to be a top ten nes game but its one of my all time favorites.

[@BigOleWords]

It's pretty damn good. If I played it as a young lad I may've advocated for it as a hidden gem.

[@wulfstanToF]

I have the chance to play and cleared this game decades ago. It was a bootleg copy so didn't know the real title. BTW, the flute makes the dog do a charge attack like rockman's charged buster. IIRC it is UP + B (maybe A), the dog will circle the MC and until you let go to unleash a powerful charge attack.

[@HaydenTheHistorian]

Always loved the shop keeper in this game

[@BigOleWords]

Same, great sprite :)

[@geraq0]

I could hear the "check this sh*t o-o-out!" even if it wasn't there xD. Great review, I wouldn't consider it a hidden gem either and I 100% agree with the recommendation of Vice Project Doom, Powerblade, Monsters in My Pocket and Little Samsom, I love them all.

[@BigOleWords]

Haha the ghost of intros past!

[@bholdr----0]

@1:55- Poochie... Nooo! (Awww, Fonzie, why?

[@daywalker3735]

So funny you mentioned the Jackie Chan game! This video made me think of that game and it was soooooo great!!!!

[@BigOleWords]

Jackie Chan rules!

[@bholdr----0]

So many clever cultural references in BOWs vids that only people of a certain age get... They're great 👍 (Like @1:55- Poochie, we hardly knew thee.) Cheers!

[@darktetsuya]

I remember renting this one! definitely a fun and challenging platformer. may have to track down a copy here soon!!

[@BigOleWords]

Nice!

[@doyalg]

I literally just played this game for the first time last night. I've been playing NES since the 80s and emulating for 20 years. Weird coincidence. I rather enjoyed the game and have been thinking about it throughout the day.

[@BigOleWords]

That is quite coincidental then!

[@Flameb0]

@@BigOleWords indeed

[@Genycis]

I actually played this game back in the day from renting it at a local video shop a few times. It was a hard but great game... never beat it though. Gave it another whirl via emu and the nostalgia came right back! The soundtrack is awesome too... funny enough, there were tunes stuck in my head that I couldn't remember from where, and when I played this again, it caught me off guard lol! Great underrated game!

[@nickmanzo8459]

I had this game as a kid! The mom and pop rental shop down the street went out of business, sold off all their NES games and movies, and I picked up a shitload of games!

[@BigOleWords]

I love hearing stories like that. There’s the husk of what was a Blockbuster near me and I always think “man, I bet there’s a Flintstones Surprise at Dinosaur Peak hidden in that stock room”.

[@nickmanzo8459]

@@BigOleWords I’ll bet. Blockbuster actually put all the mom and pop shops out of business first, so I went to a ton of them as they all did a little yard sale style give away. Got a bunch of He-Man VHS tapes a video games that way.

[@BigOleWords]

@@nickmanzo8459 Nice!

[@user-xo4qy1jm7m]

One of my favorite games as a kid. I'd rent it from West Coast Video pretty regularly until my mom just finally bought it for me lol

[@BigOleWords]

It's funny how that would happen where we'd rent it so many times where we should've just bought it from the jump!

[@foxyfoxington2651]

5:24 Ah yes, I remember that time Jackie Chan fought a tiger.

[@BigOleWords]

My favorite Jackie Chan film “Punching Tiger, Kicking Dragon”.

[@FalsebitPakoPako]

Also see: Jackie Chan in a Street Fighter II machine (Hong Kong martial arts flick City Hunter, loosely based on the Japanese manga of the same name, has a weird "well they're in a video game now" sequence.}

[@8bitslasher]

I’ve been binge watching all of your videos the last week or so and I can’t stop. Keep up the amazing content 🤘🏻🤘🏻🤘🏻

[@BigOleWords]

Haha that’s awesome! Glad you dig it :)

[@cornhustlah]

I remember playing this game but not getting far. Dunno what stopped me. It's a shame I didn't get to see all these cool boss designs back then. They're pretty rad.

[@BigOleWords]

It does get really tough after the first couple stages.

[@cornhustlah]

@@BigOleWords def gotta break this one out and give it a proper run.

[@dieinfire920]

I like this game a lot except for some stage’s palette color choices. It has good music, good gameplay, secrets, different weapons/powers to try… Rented it on the early 90’s but never finished, although I completed it once the emulation and internet era started.

[@BigOleWords]

Agreed on all points for sure :)

[@HerrHaque]

This game looks really neat. I'm surprised that the devs spent effort on affordances such as the weapons demo screen in the shop - are there many other games of the NES era that do that? Also, I enjoy your relaxed narration in your videos. Your comment about the amount of bottomless pits in this game got a really good chuckle out of me. Thank you!

[@BigOleWords]

For some reason your comment got flagged as spam. Glad you liked the video! The only other games I can think of that have move demos like that are Kickmaster which goes through each attack upgrade, and Over Horizon which lets you test out different weapon configurations. Both those game rule and are also titles I've reviewed in the past if you're interested :)

[@HerrHaque]

@@BigOleWords Thanks for your reply! That was the first comment from my relatively new account, perhaps that's why it was flagged at first. I've watched your "Kickmaster" and "Over Horizon" reviews when they'd come out but may have been a little too tired after work to take note of the demo features then. Thanks for reminding me of these reviews so I could watch them again last night. :) It just struck me as exceptional that developers put such quality of life features into NES games back when ROM space was limited and so much extra effort was necessary to produce functionality beyond the "minimum viable product". Now I know of three more NES games that I want to try out...

[@awkwardsilence4427]

My cousin owned this game back in the day, and ended up giving it (and Double Dragon II) to me after he “outgrew” video games. This was one of my favorite games, as I was so intrigued by its foreign (this was probably my first exposure to anything feudal Japan like) setting. Never got past the second stage aside from like maybe once back then (I was around kindergarten age at the time). Kim’s arms did always bother me a bit though. They didn’t look quite natural, and her right arm always looked (and still looks) like it’s bent the wrong way.

[@jacobrhythmicdragon]

I remember renting this from the local video store!

[@TheBrownsRealestFan]

I got this game new from a random game store along with Megaman, bad dudes,p.o.w, and metal gear used when I was a 10 in 92

[@IdentityCrisis1581]

Apparently you have to get that moon mirror to make it through the last level. If you don't have it, the level just loops and you never get to the last boss. But even with the mirror, it still sometimes loops. I think I've only managed to find the last boss a few times. It's one of those games that seems to lie to you about what you are supposed to be doing. For example you are supposed to take all three crystals to the castle. I have never seen that happen. It makes you think that there is going to be a second quest with the other crystals you didn't pick the first time. But there is no second quest. After you beat it, then the game just starts over after the ending and you never have to do anything with the other crystals. So if there is anything like that, I have never seen it. Maybe there's like a whole second part of the game that no one has ever figured out how to get to. But I doubt it.

[@TheJadeFist]

5:15 was that just a casual flex for owning a copy of Little Samson?

[@BigOleWords]

More just talking about deeper cut action platformers :)

[@sburns015]

Christmas of 1990 I asked for Battle toads and got Conquest of the Crystal Palace instead... As soon as I started up the game though, disappointment quickly turned to joy!

[@chasonlapointe]

Great review, I remember playing this one and really enjoying it.

[@DaveP81]

I've played this game before. I rented it when I was like 10. Game was alright.

[@andrewdowell6474]

I'm late to this video but you've got the best intro, I'd hate to see it go.

[@BigOleWords]

I’m still debating :)

[@mcrews77]

Oh dang was that a flex of a physical Little Samson cartridge?? Sub'd.

[@BigOleWords]

Haha not a flex but yeah any chance I can show physical carts I will :)

[@zerobatsu]

I could never beat it becasue the green guy kept flying away

[@ThePreciseClimber]

2:21 Just put some glasses on someone and suddenly BOOM! Scientist! They could've went the extra mile and put her in a lab coat like The Misadventures of Tron Bonne.

[@BigOleWords]

Haha that’s all it takes!

[@lizardguyNA]

Alrighty, you earned a subscriber. This was a neat look into a neat looking game.

[@BigOleWords]

Hey glad you liked it :)

[@matthewlane518]

JC action Kung Fu is such a great game! NES of pc engine!

[@DarkmanPoe]

One of my favorite things to do was hassle the shop owner until she got pissed and made that face.

[@BigOleWords]

It’s pretty satisfying!

[@Roscoe-111]

Saw this at a stop today will probably return eventually for it, it's very obscure. I got Mega Man 1-6 instead!

[@caiolopezcomz]

Great video on a great game -- one of the few NES games I've played before learning about it in this channel. I have a question about the review structure: is it intentional for the channel to make the reviews blind, using only prior knowledge and infos you have extracted from playing yourself? Because you could have, for instance, googled what the S does in Burai Fighter. Not a criticism, just want to know a bit more about the creative process. Also, i like the opening with an extract of the video before the card, as long as its super quick!

[@BigOleWords]

I do generally go into it blind. Nowadays I’ve been using the manuals a little bit but for sure these aren’t meant to be an extensive look at a games development or even specifics about story or gameplay, just what I pick up on. As such, yeah I miss plenty and the comments usually point out anything I referenced or omitted. That being said, my approach does change slightly with every video so who knows.

[@joeangeles1215]

Great video, I agree the game is good but has a few flaws that keep it a tier below the Vice Project Doom/Powerblade/Shatterhand level of hidden gem platformers. Can you beat it? Most of the game is straightforward but then the last level is a giant maze that kept sending me back to the beginning. After a few hours I realized it wasn't going to happen without using a walkthrough (which I hate having to do) and gave up.

[@BigOleWords]

I did beat it but I did get some help with the last section. I think I went the wrong way 10 times before I got bored and just looked it up

[@thatsmycar8150]

Liking your videos. Are you going to the Midwest Gaming Classic?

[@BigOleWords]

Hey thanks! And maybe a bit too far away for me, but hopefully one day!

[@kurokoro]

I played this game ages ago on emulators but not much, looks interesting.

[@DadRacer]

Ha! The boss fights are RUFF! I see what you did there.

[@BigOleWords]

Hahaha yes, that’s definitely what I was saying ;)

[@goatbone]

3:30 I'm no expert but this game seems to be going for more of a Chinese aesthetic than Japanese.

[@BigOleWords]

You may be right?! I could be completely off there.

[@goatbone]

Some things are distinctly Japanese but things like the scroll map and dog dragon things and the boss enemies and the shop girl's 'chun li' hairstyle to me look like the designers are going for a Chinese look seems very Journey to the East. Having said all that there is a lot of overlap between both cultures. You aren't completely off by any means.

[@BigOleWords]

@@goatbone Yeah you can see why I got confused then ;)

[@bonacrash]

i love this game

[@opaljk4835]

Have you renounced Jeepers Creepers? (Semi star of course) Dear god, I have been trying to beat this game the last couple weeks and the last level is such a huge pain in the ass. That god damn knock back and dropping like a rock when you swing your sword. I agree, this not as good a JCKF or lots of others, but great for people who are looking for more.

[@BigOleWords]

I don’t know yet, only time will tell!

[@opaljk4835]

@@BigOleWords my shoes hurt

[@BigOleWords]

@@opaljk4835 They gave me some beer and some frozen peas.

[@youreallyplaythat]

Very cool. A boss with a name that starts with "Z"? Seems appropriate.

[@BigOleWords]

Haha yes it does!

[@ggbetz]

The asmik mascot did get a game on game boy

[@DramaGuyCJM]

I loved this game!

[@davidturney2975]

This looks like a great game

[@thecastiel69]

WTF? I played it a lot in my childhood, may be thousands of hours. But you say No One Played? So does that means I am no one? My while life was a lie?

[@BigOleWords]

Do not try to bend the spoon, that’s impossible. Instead only try to realize the truth. There is no spoon. ;)

[@thecastiel69]

@@BigOleWords The referee doesn't even allow me to touch the spoon. I think my Matrix is developed by LJN.

[@BigOleWords]

Haha

[@roleplayingpain4349]

man I rented this game so much. I must've been terrible at it though as I don't remember half of those screens hahaha

[@BigOleWords]

Haha it does get pretty tough after the third stage!

[@RoninCatholic]

Cool dog mechanics!

[@danbauer3669]

I bought this game a while back because I watched Mike Matei play it and I thought it looked alright.

[@BigOleWords]

That’s a great description, it’s alright!

[@screwface6552]

That's the sure sign of a go getter there haha

[@BigOleWords]

Haha I was really proud of that line!

[@Youmama187]

This game is an amazing Gem

[@BigOleWords]

Yes it is!

[@MichelleHunt-zh6lt]

oh yeah you even got the aspect ratio

[@BigOleWords]

I’m still debating how much I like it but it’s growing on me :)

[@LevitatingCups]

Felt like CoTCP just lacked something, hard to put a finger on it, so to speak. Its not bad, just something is lacking... Its a fun game tho.

[@BigOleWords]

Agreed, many great qualities but not the complete package.

[@MrClawt]

Saying someone's art is poorly drawn childrens Bible material is the most savage insult you could give. I love it.

[@BigOleWords]

Haha thanks! That’s definitely what immediately came to mind :)

[@KasumiKenshirou]

"Americans don't want to look at this Japanese style artwork. Kevin, get your 12 year old nephew to draw some new character designs for the instruction book, and don't show him the original versions."

[@BigOleWords]

Hahaha exactly!

[@FalsebitPakoPako]

And this is why American Kirby is Hardcore (Google that phrase to see more examples of Hello Kitty styled art turned into gritty roided burly men.)

[@stinkypinkeee5085]

Nice Poochie reference...

[@BigOleWords]

When are they gonna get to the fireworks factory!?!

[@HylianFox3]

Haha what is the deal with that manual artwork? It is so hilariously generic it hurts. "Like a poorly drawn Children's Bible" is spot-on.

[@BigOleWords]

Thank you thank you

[@jefflindquist6138]

This game is cool !!!

[@matthewlane518]

Lol poochie reference

[@BigOleWords]

Had to sneak it in there!

[@felipeherrera6507]

i played the shit out of this game in 91 , it was surprise present from my mom may she reast in peace. and i loved every minute of it

[@BigOleWords]

Nice job mom!

[@Retr0gam1ngR0cks]

0:00 = 3:58 ?

[@BigOleWords]

You solved it! ;)

[@az-cafe-moto]

Check this s#$% out! I still need this game. Great review.

[@BigOleWords]

Hey thanks!

[@Riz2336]

Game doesn't look bad, don't think I played it

[@BigOleWords]

It’s good! Maybe not top 100 but fun for sure :)

[@crazyivan030983]

Cool:)

[@Wyrdwad]

"Explicitly Japanese," he says, when every single thing about this game is PAINFULLY Chinese. ;) I mean, yeah, it's a Japanese-developed game, but the mythology, the settings, and the general aesthetic are all very definitely meant to be emulating an '80s Japanese impression of China.

[@cougar2013]

Asmik mascot is Boomer!

[@BigOleWords]

Nice!

[@FibroFantastic]

Check this shit a-a-out

[@BigOleWords]

Not this week! ;)

[@aaronaaronsen5976]

The game is clearly Chinese-inspired, even if made in Japan. Oh well...

[@HighlandTraining86]

Poorly drawn children’s Bible…savage.

[@BigOleWords]

Thank you thank you

[@yesa3411]

Nice♤♡◇♧

[@cmfort2696]

I wonder if you made a bar graph, And compared the popularity of different drugs, in different years, to the astoundingly excellent, trippy fever dream viuals and music, contrasted with levels of cocaine deadline crap, or nonsensical logic puzzles, or character anti invincibility, when people consumed too many, nose drugs, would we be able to understand how all of these terrible games exist? BTW, My keyboard gave me no notification that that was a runon sentence. Or, that, that that, is not proper English.

[@knightimusprime25]

i used to have this and played the shit out of it back in the day but never did beat it i do have alot of fond memories playin it

[@BigOleWords]

Nice! It’s pretty fun!

[@musashielmaldito6848]

No one played it?even finished.kinda hard but fun

[@BigOleWords]

I’m not saying you’re no one, you’re somebody :)