16 Minutes of Diet and Exercise Jokes | Netflix Is A Joke

[@TheAaron3dg]

7:38 "When I run out of points I just go to bed" SPOT ON! :D

[@hoosierbaddy3052]

Sounds like sound thinking to me!

[@tamlarse]

My theory

[@rhodabaruch4]

Cristela was HILARIOUS! Gonna watch her special. Never heard of her…

[@krishentertainmentinc.]

lol, same thought I had!

[@mcsassysoniaalways805]

She’s hilarious

[@unquietriot8019]

Have not seen her before but I agree - she's great.

[@ayoaye2276]

nice bot comment, shill

[@essnjora9904]

There's a sitcom she's in named 'Christela' it even has Gabriel Iglesias in it. It's amazing. Christela's mom is my favorite there.

[@panchang810]

😆😂🤣 Especially the "for $10 I could hire a day laborer at Home Depot to hold them! Andale Pepe!" 😆🤣 First time I heard of her and she's freaking funny! I'm Filipina and her jokes are so "Filipino" she's so FUNNY! I'm going to look for her on Netflix. 😂😂😂

[@DBYouTubeHandle]

She had a nice tv show.

[@shmales7023]

She’s hilarious. Lol.

[@hoosierbaddy3052]

Love Love Cristela! Her tv show was funny. I was sorry to see it canceled.

[@kCedarwood]

Omg))) this was spot on funny!

[@louislopez7933]

What's her name

[@mjfontaine81]

She got me with the Lululemon. 😂

[@kelseymay4791]

Cristela reminds me so much of early George Lopez humor and I love it

[@KrishnaKumar-hc4jf]

Hello kelsey may, I know you don't know me sorry for that kelsey i am from indian, and i want to become a officer here, if I will know well english speaking then I will select in it so i need your help, please if you will get this massage then think about it and reply on it ,thank you

[@blackeyedsusan727]

She's much better. Not as trashy as him

[@6darren6]

@@KrishnaKumar-hc4jf man just go do it

[@panchang810]

She reminds me of Jokoy. She's really funny. That's how we make fun or ourselves as Filipinos. 😆🤣

[@katem7196]

Hahhaa so true about lululemon. I was just there the other day, all these young girls were just grabbing anything off the shelf or super got fit men buying skinny pants 😂

[@AlleyKat1996]

Can the comment section just enjoy the freaking jokes without getting offended. Like dude your life is too serious if you have to make a nasty comment about weight jokes.

[@AlleyKat1996]

@Park Justin I have to say I disagree. Please point out where I am doing the same thing?

[@torontocharlz]

I am offended because I am suppose to as a millennial in 2022.

[@thestartofsomethingnew]

Well said!

[@dbaby3288]

Let people be shthead. Danmmit this is America

[@SW_BF2CLIPS]

Stop getting offended about people getting offended😂

[@mreincome]

"I'm to fat to workout?" 🤣🤣

[@DK-un9km]

I sit down and watch Zumba like it’s MOVIE!!!! 😂😂😂

[@cruztastrophe]

Kevin Hart put on his finest fitted pajamas for this set

[@mindyg7364]

I have those! Long sleeves and shorts though. Target $20.

[@Darealmenxce]

@@mindyg7364 frfrfr😂😂

[@naomibanks3466]

Alonzo is such a joy to listen to, rib cracking jokes always, love the combo

[@nowKissthaQueen]

Once I had fries without salt.... Survivor 😂😅😂

[@pyaruz8721]

No please 😭

[@Becky_Cal]

“For $80 I can hire a day laborer to hold them up (the tatas) while I jog”! 🤣🤣🤣🤣 I nearly fell off my chair. Why didn’t I ever think of this?! Lol. As a top heavy woman who works out, finding the right sports bra (or bra in general) is the thorn in my side! I’m sure those guys would really appreciate the work too! Hahaha

[@everleighxoxox]

She said the sports bra was $80, but she said for $10 she could hire a day laborer which makes it even funnier 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@RobotsHaveTakenOver]

I'd do it for free

[@slappinthigh]

I have forwarded you my resume. I look forward to meeting your tit- , I mean, acquaintance.

[@sumanmaheshwari3542]

😂🤣😂

[@Theegoaat]

I was skeptical about her but I was pleasantly surprised!👏

[@211cozmo]

Cristela is so funny. I love her

[@DLY0898]

Jim Gaffigan and Nate Bargatze are freaking hilarious 😂

[@AnnaPxx]

Jim's faces... 😂😂😂

[@EFFeCTED18]

Tip to Brian Regan there good impersonation. Should have mentioned him though. But I got it.

[@baigalmaatsolmonbaatar7421]

I have a Lululemon headband that is bit too small for me 😁😁😁.

[@hoosierbaddy3052]

Baigalmaa; So, just admitting to the world whatta fat head you got? 👴🏼? 👏🏼

[@profamarianalavorato]

I love Kevin James so much ❤

[@semtexsrbe]

If i see cristela i'm gonna holla "HOLA CRISTELA I'M PEPE." and she's gonna say "ÁNDALE PEPE." 😆😂😂

[@jobimzapico44]

Cristelas bit at the beginning was the best

[@asuniqueasthespellingofmyn1124]

I needed this. Thanks for the upload

[@moniquetorres4700]

"I'm too fat to work out" 🤣

[@editheynon6384]

These guys are too funny 😂

[@seraby7151]

Work out clothes are mostly a scam. You can work out with just loose home clothes. You just need a good pair of rubber shoes and if you're a woman, a bra that could support breasts when jogging (doesnt have to be a sports bra but they are the best option).

[@calisongbird]

Yuuuuup!!!👍🏼

[@mindyg7364]

Sometimes we women have large breasts. And to find a sports bra to support them is hella expensive. I'm talking custom made because off the rack for big boobs isn't an option. I'm an F cup. To do cardio is one regular bra and two off the rack sports bras. And then cardio is hard because my ribs can't expand the way they're supposed to.

[@maerose9643]

I have found that I’ve needed a good pair of leggings and shorts so the leggings don’t fall down and the shorts don’t bunch up when running and doing high intensity workouts.

[@canteskuyapete1459]

@@tazzylife DD's to a B cup, can you please tell me how because I'm already small.. but I have a big upper chest naturally. I'm considering surgery.

[@FlannelFetish]

Feel better about yourself now?

[@Maria70007]

Really related to Erin Jackson's skydiving story, I also went for my birthday and got frustrated being charged an 'overweight' fee. I'm so happy she felt confident enough to say no to the guy on the phone.

[@gustavosaucedo-gomez8040]

I feel the lady that said I have to lose 20 pounds before I start exercising

[@NinaGuth-hg5eh]

These were sweet...eating popcorn and watching the exercise video..I can relate!!!

[@katekennelly3651]

I hope he's got the weather channel, cuz there's about to be some lightning 🤣

[@untaughtbiblelessons]

It's easy to get in shape - just clean your entire house manually using a broom, pails of soapy water, and rag. No mop, no vacuum, no convenience. Just get down on your knees to wipe your floor clean. Do this everyday and you'll lose weight. Edit: you want a cardio exercise? Just step on a dry rag and use your feet to wipe your floors clean.

[@christopheredding-ruiz201]

Cálmate consuela 🤣 you should be a spokesperson for Fabuloso

[@deboraballes9044]

And when you finished your house you can come do mine😉👍

[@migbo]

@@deboraballes9044 😂😂

[@hoosierbaddy3052]

Nary No Bologna; Thanks for the DIY at home fitness routine! What a mind! No mop, vacuum nor conveniences? What’s convenient about cleaning? Using cleaning products? Cuz yeah, ya kin whip up some cleansers yourself. Vinegar is a great window cleaner! But, I see no usable form of vacuuming. Am I to use my handheld one for my 3k square foot home? That’ll REALLY be a workout eh Lunch Meat? Me, hunched over, going over the house with a hand vac? That’s effective cleaning too Bologna! So, regular mopping will be replaced with using a facecloth? For the entire home right Nary? And, gotta love, love the advice about creating a soon to be 911 call event, by dancing across wet floors with rag slippers on. How da F ima splain that to da doctors? Yeah, um, some random person said that it’d be a great cardio routine. Well, now ya need a heart replacement after that scare huh Bozo? Yeah…guess you’re right Doc….

[@untaughtbiblelessons]

@@hoosierbaddy3052 I think you should consult a therapist coz dayum, that's some next level anger you're emanating based on your comment 🤪 PS. What kind of lunatic goes to the gym or exercises at home without ensuring their own safety whilst doing their exercise routine? Should be the same when you're cleaning house shouldn't it?

[@FishoD]

Andale Pepe! - ahahahah had me rolling :D :D :D

[@ninamares1309]

"What am I a pioneer here?" 😂😂😂

[@annmariebarratt4213]

Can we just take this for what it is; JOKES!!! If you feel offended don’t watch And please keep your comments to your self. Cause 99% are here for a laugh! Not to laugh at you, but to laugh with you!!! Life is serious enough, sometimes you need to look in the mirror and laugh at yourself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[@rustinstardust2094]

I don't see anyone here saying they're offended

[@hoosierbaddy3052]

@@rustinstardust2094 it’s a preemptive warning to would be Offended People. Put down the rude emoji’s and sarcastic observations! That are so hastily written as to include punctuation and grammar errors galore. 😅

[@robearberbils]

Chris Griffin: *laughing* "If I didn't learn to laugh at myself I'd be dead by now."

[@misbahailia3345]

4:54 is when I started laughing. Dudes a natrual. 😂

[@lauracain588]

This is hilarious! 😅

[@kailash4041]

@6:25 For a moment, just for a moment I didn't recognize it 😂😂

[@sumanmaheshwari3542]

Yesss. Original

[@OldManPaxusYT]

'I'm too fat to work out?!!?'

[@audraholter-martin8457]

Walkin on my treadmill LMAO 😂😂😂😂

[@hamburgermatty]

When life gives you lemons, workout. 🤣

[@carawolfe5321]

Would that “lulu” lemons?

[@amandahusztik2330]

If you're going to get offended by these jokes, don't listen. It's that bloody simple

[@lunaargent3159]

Thank you 👍

[@needfoolthings]

The problem is you first listen and THEN get offended. This is one of the dumbest comments I've ever come across.

[@KdaB79]

@@needfoolthings it takes a profoundly stupid person to be offended by comedy at any point.

[@malta071]

12:55 good thing he went easy on him:)

[@jaimix31792]

Cristela Alonzo where have you been hiding...lol

[@Randomized456]

Kevin hart🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@denisemcdougal6445]

Ok the First Lady was hilarious.

[@momwomen6402]

Walking 🚶‍♂️ fasting are free 🤣

[@aema5124]

Same here gurl!!! But I gotta loose weight to get back into my sneakers too!!!

[@jvson___]

"Go back to being fat" AHAHA

[@asuniqueasthespellingofmyn1124]

I love Zumba 🥴🤣🤣🤣🤣 that was great!!!!

[@Soylamarilyn]

Hilarious 😂

[@kathleendestefano5577]

It’s comedy people!!! Get a grip..

[@edithdlp8045]

People nowadays get easily offended by anything 😒

[@cynthiawall7073]

This was freakin hilarious!

[@lunaargent3159]

Then comes the lulu lemons conundrum... I can't fit but feel guilty...and now I have really expensive socks....that I never wear cause there too expensive to ruin.

[@ellasolis4902]

I'm to tall. This is real to me.

[@nette32211]

That last one is me all the way ... I ended up watching Shaun T and that other dude with the hard work out vids like mini TV shows ..

[@healthgurl_taca]

4:15 Where is the lie? I no longer feel judged.. I guess I will do better😂

[@barbarachandler4430]

Funny!!

[@milton7763]

10:14 Mark Normand is sooo funny!

[@jones8041]

I would like to get into comedy, not because I'm funny. All of these comedians just have cool shoes!

[@AciremaEno]

Ándale Pepe 😂😂😂😭😭

[@lisalittle91]

Thankyou i laughed so hard😂

[@isaacclark2499]

I am here to lough at Kevin hart

[@xaesalyszimpkee]

5:38, I was hooking up with a guy for a bit and he told me about his weight loss and showed me before pictures and , I actually have a thing for chubby guys so when I saw it I was like 😍 and he seemed a i g h t in comparison 😅

[@billhorne3538]

So u like fat guys huh? Lol

[@MisssKayy]

Cool

[@keztukariri]

Lol that's awesome 😂😊

[@sommerjones9281]

A bag of avocados😂😂😂😂

[@alopack1224]

😂😂😂😂😂

[@ludymontorio6297]

Exactly it should have been the other way around.

[@xxGothrd]

WOW the people getting offended in the comments need a lobotomy. Fr 😂

[@blackrainroses]

If I light a candle and pray… 🤣 yup pray it fits 🤣

[@JerkzCrewInc]

During quarantine I went from a very thin 155 to 205… lost it in about 4 months and dropped right back down to 160 by being on a caloric deficit, plant based + pescatarian diet and literally playing my oculus + walking 10k steps a day. No gym, just consistent effort! Now im 185 with muscle feeling better than ever!!

[@austinjohnson4890]

Growing your own food, and getting a few chickens is a free workout that saves food costs and is healthy and organic.

[@redlightmax]

Sorry, but I want my food now.

[@austinjohnson4890]

@@redlightmax Then change your name to RedHeavyMax

[@abc1236092]

What does one do if they can’t grow their own food due to location?

[@canteskuyapete1459]

@MsUsagi513 you can own 1 chicken within city limits. Depends on where you live. We can always make excuses, but that's on you.

[@MisssKayy]

@@canteskuyapete1459 I live in chicago. People in this city have hella chickens in their yards. I’m going to get some

[@MervilleJr]

Odd and interesting.

[@anuswadh]

😆

[@Reesha1556]

Wow the comment section is crazy

[@u4riahsc]

I discovered if you eat only protein one day, next day eat carbs, next day protein, next day carbs. It works because switching between protein and carbs confuses your metabolism and it doesn’t slow down.

[@rustinstardust2094]

Interesting

[@sumanmaheshwari3542]

I want to try this. I am a vegetarian. Can you please give some more input on this. Maybe just 2 days eating guide. Much appreciated

[@jeffmacs2o223]

This is rubbish.. law of thermo dynamics.. calories in calories out.. that's it

[@Kazmll229]

This makes literally no sense, and isn’t true

[@u4riahsc]

@dafos Works for me!

[@arelismargarito5283]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@maddiew1978]

I was hoping thinspiration 2010 vibes were coming back, ugh

[@blazenfate]

Cristina was the last funny new comedian I heard of and saw from Netflix... too many crying offended Americans now, it would benefit Netflix and comedians to never appeal to them

[@cheryladams9797]

Same way I feel about nutrisyste, ww,golo, all the buy your pre prepared meals. You will lose weight and the friends who bought you meals. You're now broke, hungry and always hangry. Curled up in a corner wishing you could afford a scoop of whipped cream.

[@SurgeryIsWoke]

More people are imagining offended people to spout off "iT's JuSt jOkEs" screeds for clout than there are actually offended people in the comments lulz

[@gibsonrickenbacker6317]

I don’t the lady with black and white striped shirt one but they are hilarious!! 😂😂😂

[@Abteilol]

@2:00 or go on facebook and find someone who will pay YOU to hold em up.

[@mistywalker8337]

That's what I thought! Honey, guys will pay YOU for the privilege.

[@kmiss7623]

I gained that Covid 15 and I didn’t buy any new clothes 😫 I’m back down 10lbs but I still don’t wear underwear.

[@tamtam3606]

No it's not dp completely different that's why she's called jen

[@yowthubert1731]

😅😅😅😅😅😅😅

[@angelconzalina2055]

Whatever, avocados are delicious. Wear the shirt!

[@ImJustSayingBTW]

Kev!

[@Sam-ef3bj]

A woman gets married. Just two months later she goes to her aunt, "Billy is horrible. All he does is yell, yell, yell. He makes me so nervous, I am actually losing weight." Aunt: "Honey, you should just leave him." Newlywed: "I'm going to, I'm just waiting until I get down to 120 lbs..."

[@xxstract28]

Kevin Hart cusses at weird times. It’s like he just wants to cuss because otherwise he would just be a lil kid telling kid jokes

[@burrsfandom9827]

Nas

[@giabella901]

Big turnoffs, comedians that think cursing is funny.???

[@roadlesstraveled34]

It's not the words themselves that make it funny, it's the delivery and the words may be a part of that. It's not that big a deal.

[@jimiw7798]

얘들아 살뺄때 해인감비환 드셔보세요

[@accadia1983]

6:42 good luck with this type of jokes. Nothing beats freshness and taste of real apple 👍🏻🍏🍎

[@keztukariri]

American Pie 🍎😂🍏😂🍎😂🍏

[@JamieLeeSmith931210]

Can the comment section please behave!

[@ApeironTO]

you need no „workout clothes”

[@maureensigurdson7387]

Kevin Heart is the highest paid comic and the worst comic

[@jfloyo11]

jogging is free..........

[@sweetpea775]

👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️😍😍😍😍😍😍😍❤️🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂

[@tamtam3606]

Yeah well I married mich and I'm homeless

[@tamtam3606]

Jen u idiot it's short for Michelle

[@AlainDee]

Do up your shirt, Kevin.

[@natalieanderson3951]

Kevin Hart tells a story about boxing… but can’t make a Fist properly…. Which is like level 0

[@hubertwedam1134]

...

[@merickful]

...

[@freedomandsavage1108]

...

[@boribambie555]

…

[@michaelhaley7269]

...

[@killuagondeku5982]

...

[@sshukla7975]

I never knew what lulu lemon was. I saw the omega sign in a city, thought interesting and then looked through the window. The amount of stupid print color, i thought that was some kids store. Someone heard what was happening and told that's lululemom. LULULEMON is a 40 year old woman competing with her teenager daughter trying to be trendy. I feel blessed not to know about it.

[@Raylove2]

And that's why comedians feel like they can't even tell a JOKE. Because ppl are so dam sensitive over a Joke. Define the word joke... My goodness. I hate this weird generation. Too many sensitive ppl.

[@Aurora3242]

Are you reading these comments? Because, nobody is making a thing except you!

[@Raylove2]

@@Aurora3242are you mad or being sensitive? Just proved my point lol

[@Aurora3242]

@@Raylove2 neither, just wondering why you would go out of your way to start something. But, it's ok, you're probably just lonely, looking for attention -So I obliged! Have a great day, my sh!t stirring friend🤗 P.S. I really enjoyed the video!

[@Raylove2]

@@Aurora3242 lol you're so cute thinking you know my intentions on why I wrote my comment. I wrote it because I wanted too..I was actually came across a comment that had an issue with the video. So maybe before you think you know everything and being all sensitive and proving my point..maybe just shut up🤷🏽‍♀️😂😂. You literally just proved my point. It's my opinion and y'all act like can't nobody have an opinion. This world is going to shits over a KZbin comment lol.

[@Raylove2]

@@Aurora3242 and for you to literally have an issue with my comment while Bill Burr just said the same thing I said. You know the video you watched... Weirdo . 😂