Best HFY Reddit Stories: Humans and Trajectory Calculations (r/HFY)

[@bennnymiddleton40]

“I took ballistics in school, fascinating subject, things go up, things go down”

[@matthiuskoenig3378]

"real men fight panzers at close range!"

[@bennnymiddleton40]

@@matthiuskoenig3378 “aw look at the cute little panzer, like a puppy, fucking adorable, kill it”

[@truegamer7245]

@@bennnymiddleton40 "I LIKE FLAMETHROWERS"

[@bennnymiddleton40]

@@truegamer7245 “HEAVY PANZER IS UNDER INFANTRY ATTACK!... WHY AM I SHOUTING THIS?” “Well I suppose they could give us a head ache with that AT rifle”

[@AViewCado69420]

"Roses are red Violets are blue I'm stuck on the Eastern Front And so are fucking you"

[@Daile0303]

Basic human thinking: when in doubt, throw a rock at the problem, really fast

[@andrewbaker4652]

If that doesn't work, throw a larger rock even faster. Repeat as necessary.

[@TheMinecraftACMan]

@@andrewbaker4652 The living embodiment of "Treat with shotgun. If problem persists treat with more shotgun."

[@ladyodragons3849]

Can't be a problem if it doesn't exist!

[@szeth5287]

Only correct solution is the solution with the biggest rock thrown

[@Little_Meower]

If rock isn't good enough make sharp rock and try again

[@garysmith3037]

Xeno: "You pathetic humans, we were flying to the stars and conquering worlds while you were just learning to throw rocks at one another!" Humans: "Yeah, about that....."

[@WE_DONT_LIE]

It seems you never learned where that lead Xeno?

[@adamyagaharwar5844]

@@WE_DONT_LIE where that LEAD? ba dum tsch

[@WE_DONT_LIE]

@@adamyagaharwar5844 and these xenon are as DENSE as these rocks ☢️

[@ravenouself4181]

Yes, but we got very good at doing that

[@DragonBornClan4]

Xeno proceeds to take a MAC Cannon round to the face. Fired from the opposite side of the planet. Human: we got good at throwing rocks.

[@QruisS]

"Mortar crews are filled with some of the dumbest people on earth but somehow they are still capable of perfectly calculating a parabole in a fraction of a second"

[@dumbraccoonboi4575]

I failed math so many times but can calculate distance and time it’ll take when I snipe or launch a mortar

[@Arhainthemerc]

The first rule in any fight/conflict/war, never go where the enemy is trying to lead you. Edit: thanks for all the likes and comments!

[@jonathanhamilton6190]

If the fight is easy it's an ambush.

[@whats_down]

and the second rule is that nothing can kill you as fast as artilery

[@gman1515]

If the fight is going exactly as you expect, then you're missing something

[@vbgvbg1133]

@@gman1515 you want the enemy to think that they’ve outsmarted you. Of course this applies for both sides.

[@jacobbishop8067]

Another useful rule, kinda only works for humans in this story tho. If they’re in range so are you

[@Exile_Sky]

Matek: We want that resource rich star system. Humans: I hope you don't mind that we added several hundred thousand new solar bodies.... also they are explosives.

[@oskark312]

of'corse we wood do that

[@pikachufantastic]

They learned the biggest rule of war kinda, DON'T FUCK WITH NEWTON AND THE LAWS OF PHYSICS!

[@burpoi]

Sir Isaac Newton is the deadliest SOB in space. So make damn sure your fire is accurate

[@aj_the_infamous1013]

@@burpoi newton back on earth laughing in his grave "THOSE FOOLS!!!!!!!"

[@JerbilKonai]

@@aj_the_infamous1013 Would have been funny if one of those projectiles were an apple ("See, we want to educate you. Just like Newton once upon a time: you will get hit by an apple. That this one is flying at you with enough speed to break your ship is not the point.")

[@outoftouchwithnormal]

Once you fire this hunk of metal, it keeps going 'till it hits something!

[@shadowai9668]

"Newton is the deadliest son of a bitch in space" Mass Effect 2 Drill Sergeant in the wards entrance

[@allmyself666]

*Inside strategic meeting* General: "Alright maggots, the enemy fleet will arrive within the week. They outnumber us in weapons, munitions, personnel and ships. Any suggestions?" Recruit: *in the far back chowing down on pb&j* "what if we, like *swallows and takes another bite* fire at them from really far away?" General: *begins to scold recruit* Recruit: " No, I'm mean from reeeeaallly far away, like, starting now?"

[@epicslayerguy99]

General: "...Someone call the guys in charge of ballistic calculations."

[@nuyabuisness7526]

Human weaponry has been one long line of delivering rock to target at ever increasing speed.

[@marcusrauch4223]

Ranged weaponry? Yes. Melee weaponry is long line of the pointy stick.

[@EdwardWester]

@@marcusrauch4223 I would still say that even the almighty pointy stick is no more than a means of delivering a rock to a target.

[@ireallyreallyhategoogle]

and bigger more massive rocks

[@MiningwithPudding]

Why bother with difficult to invent and delicate energy weapons when you can just throw a rock really, REALLY fast?

[@jackbennett6902]

Why bother with glowy line when fast, small rock work fine?

[@Twisted_Logic]

Doing so is more efficient to boot. DEWs waste a LOT of energy

[@samuelevans738]

Honest? The only thing better than throwing a rock really REALLY fast is throwing a rock that also explodes. And, then, figure out a way to make it FASTER!!!

[@ImieNazwiskoOK]

@@samuelevans738 At some point of trying to make it even faster there will be problem with it becoming closer to the speed of light

[@chunkysweirdtoaster3081]

@@ImieNazwiskoOK all I see is a chance for more fun to be had

[@claudelorenzo8111]

Mmmmmm Monke: ‘know where rock go’ Xeno Scum:’scared screeching’ Monke: FOR THE EMPEROR, BURN IN HOLY FIRE HERETIC.

[@shaness112233]

Apes together strong

[@Kez_DXX]

Monke: Myes it takes the bullet this many rotations to land on target from this far away, so knowing that we can make bullets that explode after a pre-calculated number of rotations and completely shower the target with hot metal. Or a few rotations after passing through a concrete wall and kill all inside a room. Really, the possibilities are endless. Xeno Scum: what the fuck

[@theanathema3062]

Shit it eldar, at least we didn’t murderf*** a chaos god into existence that wiped us out

[@joshuafischer684]

​@@theanathema3062 Glory to the Emperor upon His Golden Throne! May His light guide us as we purge the mutant, the heretic, and the xeno from His galaxy! AVE IMPERATOR!

[@lattitude01]

Gota have fun playing with the gravity wells

[@cdgonepotatoes4219]

I like this story. It doesn't put humans particularly on a "level above the rest" just because it's an HFY story, or at least, it does but you can easily explain all this due a tunnel vision in military doctrine on the alien side, something that they weren't barred from addressing because "they aren't the protagonist race" and humanity exploited that blind spot to make a name for themselves.

[@radioactiveassassin5218]

The first thing I heard in my head when I saw the title was: "That's why we wait for those damn firing solutions!"

[@piedpiper1185]

We do not 'eyeball' it! This is a weapon of mass destruction! You are not a cowboy, shooting from the hip!

[@MrHuntingClaw]

"Meteor shower" that was a good one, makes one wonder when they had chosen to fire them and how long the shots were expected to travel before point of impact.

[@loganshaw4527]

Most likely for months in a stable orbit.

[@maxwyght1840]

Probably depends on ordinance and maximum velocity, as well as how complex the orbits they had to go through. Reading between the lines, this suggests that humans in this universe have a universal solution to the N-body problem, which allows them to make orbital calculations to the end second and meter.

[@ZoruaZorroark]

*Critical hit: Sensor array* *Critical hit: Shield Emitter* *Shield Emitter, destroyed* *Critical hit: Main Reactor*

[@DepressedCrow]

All with a single projectile

[@Scream_Lord]

Gunnery Chief: This, recruits, is a 20-kilo ferrous slug. Feel the weight. Every five seconds, the main gun of an Everest-class dreadnought accelerates one to 1.3 percent of light speed. It impacts with the force of a 38-kiloton bomb. That is three times the yield of the city-buster dropped on Hiroshima back on Earth. That means Sir Isaac Newton is the deadliest son-of-a-b*tch in space. Now! Serviceman Burnside! What is Newton's First Law? Serviceman Burnside: Sir! An object in motion stays in motion, sir! Gunnery Chief: No credit for partial answers, maggot! Serviceman Burnside: Sir! Unless acted on by an outside force, sir! Gunnery Chief: Damn straight! I dare to assume you ignorant jackasses know that space is empty. Once you fire this hunk of metal, it keeps going till it hits something. That can be a ship, or the planet behind that ship. It might go off into deep space and hit somebody else in ten thousand years. If you pull the trigger on this, you are ruining someone's day, somewhere and sometime. That is why you check your damn targets! That is why you wait for the computer to give you a damn firing solution! That is why, Serviceman Chung, we do not "eyeball it!" This is a weapon of mass destruction. You are not a cowboy shooting from the hip! Serviceman Chung: Sir, yes sir!

[@Starlitsoul0359]

This comment right here has so much effort put into it, so much thought put into one short little story. Best thing I’ve read in AGES.

[@Scream_Lord]

@@Starlitsoul0359 As much as I would like to take credit for this, I did not write this dialogue. This is from Mass Effect 2

[@Starlitsoul0359]

@@Scream_Lord Oh dang! Well in that case I might have to actually give those games a look. Always heard about em but I’ve never really taken the time to play through all of em.

[@warden-1894]

Not sure if it’s intentional, but this reminds me of the Keyes Loop from Halo.

[@UNSCPILOT]

Agreed, love how effective it was, in both cases

[@voodoovince8001]

Ah a fellow man of culture

[@jonathanblair5920]

Now THERE'S a blast from my past I wasn't expecting xD

[@thorn344]

Really thought it'd be asteroids.

[@Lolcatface]

Oh they probably threw some of those in aswell! After all we humans love throwing rocks!

[@Zedyne]

@@Lolcatface Mateks: Wait, you cannot do that! Humans: Big rock go BRRRRRRR

[@chrisb9143]

imagine a Moon the Matek : How did we miss THAT ??!

[@shatifan_the_slime4445]

Bish you throught! * tosses c4 strapped bowling ball *

[@Undead_Essence]

More moons then you could count…. 3 days later 10 moons in the system.

[@carlchapman4053]

I like the story but if my opponent said to me "In 5 minutes you will know" I would re-balance shields and put sensors on 360:360 global scan.

[@rhysh6026]

"the only reason alien's haven't invaded earth successfully yet is probably because all our space junk keeps shredding them to pieces" - Fleet Admiral of the Terran Navy

[@oskark312]

that's such an absurd idea that it can be real

[@julesmasseffectmusic]

Hans discovered 3 tools and have adored them ever since. Rock Stick Fire

[@PleasentDddd]

“The humans have sent a message Captain, it’s doesn’t seem to be in English.” “What does it say?” “Omae wa mou shindeiru” “Wha-

[@nicolasgomez6637]

Reminds me of another HFY story about a one shot battleship, if you know what I mean 😏

[@chrisdufresne9359]

Any time your enemy says the word Surprise, you should probably nope out.

[@juhasznagyjozsef]

Beautiful. For the NARRATOR!

[@kaimerry1587]

Clever. the lack of friction and the innate acceleration of a system overcrowded with gravity wells, combined with tight strategic planning, rendered every projectile fired as deadly when it hit as it was when it was fired a week prior. Using the lack of friction and easily calculable gravity anomalies to their advantage was a sound play.

[@Myomer104]

Many of the projectiles would have been even more deadly at impact thanks to slingshot acceleration.

[@radfordra]

The humans have a special relationship with rocks after all

[@UnknownOps]

Oh yeah, Your force field can block lasers? Have fun with Buckshot, Xeno.

[@chrisdufresne9359]

Parry this, you casual

[@assaulthetz]

They expect that their energy shields could block a ball/arrow/dart/pillar shaped rock in all forms, but failed to understand why they got obliterated after.

[@y0ur_name_here]

As a retired FO (Forward Observer) I approve of this story.

[@AmataTai]

This is basically the culmination of Angry Birds tech XD (I was literally picturing Space Angry Birds)

[@lordperkele3778]

I am not sure if I can post a direct link to a piece I wrote for a "this day in history" -like page in facebook, but since it is my personal IP I can do whatever I want, why not just copy and paste. The famed human artilleryship that is celebrated throughout this HFY, I know how it became so. Enjoy. Cue copy-pasting: "On this day( 25.6.1944) , The battle of Tali-Ihantala began. After two weeks of fighting, using modernized artillery and surprisingly simple late-war technology, the Finns managed to repel the soviet offensive in the largest battle in the history Finland. Finland fought three separate wars between 1939-1945: The Winter War and The Continuation War against the Soviet Union, and The Lapland War against Germany. Battle of Tali-Ihantala took place at the end of the Continuation War. The Soviet attack against Finland was a part of a larger offensive, in cooperation with western allies. The Soviet Union would redouble their efforts and increase pressure against Germany and its allies from the east after promised allied breakthrough in western Europe. Such breakthrough finally occurred June 6th, 1944, when the western allies landed in Normandy. Three days later, The soviets launched their offensive against Finland. This battle, however, was won before it was fought. Five years earlier, at the start of the Winter War, lieutenant general Vilho Nenonen was the inspector of the artillery forces, and duly noted that despite his numerous requests, Finland's artillery was indeed the most varied in the world. This was not good. Finland had only 444 cannons, the oldest cannons were from 1877 and the youngest from 1934. Finnish government had repeatedly neglected military acquisitions, and the famous "model Cajander" uniform wasn't the only thing that showed it. Even most of the ammunition was aging leftovers from the Russian empire. The logistical and material situation remained dismal throughout the war. Treaty of Moscow was signed May 12th 1940, ending the Winter War. Finally Nenonen had a political environment in which he could do as he pleased in regards to the artillery. He had a lot of work to do. During the interim peace Nenonen could purchase more foreign cannons, increase the domestic production of both cannons and ammunition, train the men, and after the Continuation War started, the Finnish forces captured even more pieces and shells from the retreating soviets. In June 1944 the Finnish artillery was an entirely different animal than it was in 1939. Finland had approximately 1900 artillery pieces, the older and more exotic pieces had been phased out, ammunition stores were filled to the brim. Nenonen was promoted to rank of General of the artillery in 1941. The final and arguably the most important piece of Finnish victory was developed only as late as 1943. It was a plywood board with a plastic disc attached in front of it with a bolt through the middle, with lines and numbers painted in. Hardly as flashy or as sophisticated late-war technology like the computers in Bletchley Park or the nuclear bomb, but impressive - and deadly - in its own right. So much so that its existence was kept secret even from allied Germany, and was revealed to the world only after the war had ended in 1945. The fire correction circle, or fire correction dial, was developed by major Unto Petäjä, who showed his invention to general Nenonen in April 1943. Nenonen immediately recognized the benefits the fire correction circle would bring. Non-linear artillery and mortars can't aim their fire on their own and still reliably hit a mobile target. They require an artillery observer to go into the front and radio in the required information, to act as their eyes. Previously, the observer had to juggle many pieces of information in his head while calculating fire corrections, and this slowed down the operation. Nenonen himself had tried to address this problem with some success, but this new invention was groundbreaking. With the Fire correction circle, the observer wouldn't even need to know the position of the artillery pieces, and the simple mechanical circle automated the calculations and presented results in a graphical form. This had many benefits, including sped-up fire mission calculation and that fire mission radio transmissions couldn't give away the fire observer's or batteries position as easily if intercepted, but far more important benefit was that, in theory, an unlimited number of artillery pieces could now fire effectively and simultaneously to a target with a single fire mission. No other artillery force in the world had such advanced ability at the time. Late June 1944. After initial success, Soviet forces have finished their first offensive. Viipuri had already fallen. Now they would rinse and repeat, advance so far as Imatra, Lappeenranta and Virolahti. This time King Winter would not save the Finns. Soviet 21st and 23rd armies with more than 150000 men would clash against 50000 Finns in what would become the largest single battle ever fought in the north. During two weeks of battle, Finnish artillery fired 120000 shells, and afterwards many cannons were found to been ruined from overuse. With extensive recon and with the clever fire correction technology the Finnish artillery repeatedly bombarded the soviet divisions and forced them to retreat as they tried to assemble into their jumping off points. On thirty occasions throughout the entire battle a single fire mission caused a battalion-size casualties for the soviets. The busiest day of the battle was July 3rd. The previous evening, Finns had intercepted a soviet radio transmission detailing a massive attack in Ihantala. Now the Finnish artillery could put their battle plan into steroids: 21 artillery batteries, over 250 artillery pieces, which was over 1/8th of their entire artillery at the time was concentrated to cover just a seven-kilometre stretch in Ihantala that soviets intended to use as a staging area. Two minutes before supposed start of the attack at 4am, 80 Finnish and German bombers flew over the area and the Finnish artillery fired in a span of few minutes a total of 4000 shells, a third of what would be shot that entire day, into the staging area, driving back a soviet rifle division and an attached armoured brigade. The danger wasn't over, but being so substantially weakened they couldn't break the Finnish lines when the assault finally came two hours later. The soviet advance through Finland was stopped in Tali and Ihantala. They tried again In Vuosalmi and Viipurinlahti, but again failed. Soon Soviet leadership decided that the German front was more important anyway, and focused their efforts there. Finland signed the Moscow armistice with the Soviet Union and Great Britain September 19th, 1944. The price of peace was, again, dear: Finland would have to cede even more land to the soviet union and was forced to expel any German forces in Finland, leading to the Lapland War, but Finnish independence was yet again saved. General of the artillery Vilho Nenonen was awarded with the Mannerheim cross 8th of January, 1945. "

[@frostfallanimations7891]

After the first few sentences I was wondering if this was going to be the story of the naval ship that flooded half of its ship so that its cannons could increase their angle enough to hit land from a safe distance.

[@lordperkele3778]

@@frostfallanimations7891 I would like to hear that story

[@frostfallanimations7891]

@@lordperkele3778 June 15, 1944 the captain of the battleship Texas ordered that part of the ship be flooded in order to extend the range of one of its long guns. Which was used to fire upon German strongholds near Insigny and Carentan. Apparently it acted as a rescue and hospital ship. It also laid down an impressive amount of suppression fire during D-day. Some how out of a crew of 1,600 it only has one casualty and 11 wounded. Battleship Texas.

[@jojoemcgeejoe457]

@@frostfallanimations7891 During the battle for Betio island in the Tawara atoll which, more or less, opened up the central pacific campaign for the US, there were some Marines just tens of yards (sorta meters) from Japanese fortified bunkers. The only ship available in the lagoon side that could put fire on those bunkers was a USN destroyer (don't recall the name). The naval guns shells (5") had to be placed so close to the Marines that the ship's captain feared any movement of the ship would put rounds into the Marines position. So, he ran his bow into a sandbar to firmly anchor the ship and steady it as a firing platform. Blew up the bunkers. Saved a lot of Marines. Got court-martialed after the battle for running aground. Sometimes it's not about how far you can fling it, but how precise you can be in placement.

[@Self-replicating_whatnot]

"Dude, just fuck off will you? I mean, do you actually want us to throw rocks at you?" - Humanity's diplomatic creed, maintaining peace with their galactic neighbours for over 3 centuries.

[@Salt_discriminater]

Ah the old bait and switch

[@Samagryn]

You ever just.... Play pool with the planets?

[@kingmasterlord]

all I can think about is Black Dynamite and that fucking boomerang, lol "I threw that shit before I came in here!"

[@SupCom78]

Fantastic Story i enjoyed listening it such a simple calculation reminds me of a cene from the anime aldnoah zero.

[@alarosebaster2626]

I was just thinking the same thing. I loved that scene

[@SupCom78]

@@alarosebaster2626 yeah the scene was great like i can sence danger and then wtf is hitting me. :)

[@paulhuston9991]

Gravity always wins. But the more of you that you take out of the shot the easier it is to predict. The only reason we still have human elements is no computer can do the math and respond as fast as a decent shooter with 600,000+ rounds under his finger.

[@ImieNazwiskoOK]

Not really true. For example defense systems of ships(and on land too) are autonomous, and all sorts of missiles(both defense and offense).

[@SpiritWolf1966]

I enjoy all of NetNarrator videos

[@timothycotner3492]

Something to note is that this wouldn't be as easy as it seems. A trick like this in sol would be hard enough, in a system with dozens of planets and hundreds of moons? Mind boggling.

[@maxwyght1840]

This story suggests humanity have a universal solution to the N-body problem to make those calculations possible. The 3 body problem is a subset of the n body problem, and that too is technically still an unsolved mathematical problem, though we have simplified versions that allow for short term predictions that allow us to calculate orbital insertions, but accuracy drops past a certain threshold as the system becomes more and more chaotic. A universal solution means that any result you obtain will be stable through a time period approaching infinity.

[@froztbytes]

I'm a simple warframe fanboy. I see railjack, I click.

[@JerbilKonai]

All is silent and calm

[@The.Stalker]

@@JerbilKonai Hushed and Empty is the Womb of the Sky

[@AkGamerRo]

Aye.

[@arondudas6208]

I appreciate the Railjack in the thumbnail

[@nicolasgomez6637]

Only now I took time to look at the thumbnail and noticed the railjack... Well played good sir, also any time you need help in the proxima sector, you are welcomed into the "vengeance of clem" with open arms!

[@JoshuaADemic]

For the algorithm

[@thenthson]

May the ALGORITHMS light shine upon you brother!

[@adamglover6948]

For the algorithm!

[@kitchenjail3546]

engagement for the engagement god!

[@slimeinabox]

FOR THE ALGORITHM BROTHERS!

[@aerfwefd7334]

*IF YOU'ZE DAKKA IZ NAFF, UZE BIGGA DAKKA!* *IF DA BIGGA DAKKA IZN'T ENUFF, UZE DA REEL BIG DAKKA!* *AN' IF DAT DON'T WURK, DEN YOU'ZE GITTISH FER NOT UZIN' ENUFF DAKKA.*

[@terrilackend2422]

Translation plzz

[@davebignell773]

@@terrilackend2422 From Orkish? That language consists mainly of gestures, grunts and blows to the head (according to Imperial Inquisitor Amberley Vail)! A rough version - if what you're shooting isn't doing the job use bigger guns! Rinse and repeat, and if you still lose, your guns aren't big enough and you've not got enough of them!

[@terrilackend2422]

@@davebignell773 thanks

[@whatsagoodusername823]

Humans, now sniping you from across both space AND time

[@goodenoughright5433]

Railjack for the thumbnail, Nice

[@doctorbright1065]

Humanities greatest strength, "Yeet".

[@kylzepolaczkowaty2197]

Let me introduce to aliens this new rock: THE RODS OF GOD

[@backwardsman8887]

They were dead before they even left the warp.

[@_NobodySpecial_]

"HAHA I THREW THAT SHIT BEFORE I CAME IN THE ROOM" black dynamite

[@Ranulfdatank]

Snoipens a good job mate!

[@ComedicLetter]

Challengin’ work, out a doors, I’ll garuntee you’d not go ‘ungry

[@robertshank9778]

For the Algorithm... Since I've done it on his channel, I'll do it on yours... I would love to hear a collaboration with you and Argo Squirrel... Especially a Dialogue Heavy Story with multiple characters...

[@aukima771]

Can you do " a Job for a deathwolder " ?

[@fturla___156]

Imagine throwing a rock that would land at a spot in three days. All you had to do to kill someone is to goad someone into standing at that very spot just as the rock came down.

[@FernandoGonzalez-sn4nj]

First Kubros and now Railjack Did you awake...from the second dream?

[@JerbilKonai]

Maybe still the old war

[@dr.animegirlseksgivermd.9659]

godamnit, just realized its the railjack on the thumbnail

[@rhysadams7268]

Aldnoah Zero has some scenes that demonstrate this kind of orbit/gravity assisted ballistic attack.

[@zarlsalamandersspacemarine302]

Artillery works even in space

[@alkdklsdflkfds6970]

Vulcan lives! Ave Imperaror. Ave Vulcan. May he preserve your glorious chapter for all eternity, may a blade drawn by you in battle never be broken even in defeat or death and may the flames of your soul cleanse the many horrors the universe would throw at our helpless with your divine flames lord.

[@zarlsalamandersspacemarine302]

@@alkdklsdflkfds6970 Haza a loyal citizen! While I understand praising the Emperor and our father Vulkan you need not praise us so dearly! We mearly do as is the will of our father and that of the Emperor! Praise the Astra Militarum above us for we cannot reach as far as they and while we have stood for ten milenia so to has the Astra Militarum. We go forth and smite the foes of our Emperor as is his will and while we might seek to preserve his people as is the will of Vulkan we cannot do so on our own. It is those like you brave citizen whom should be praised above us! For men and women like you in the Astra Militarum hold the line as they have for ten milenia! Do not praise us for we are afforded luxury and in return we mearly carry out the will of our Emperor and that of our father. Praise the men and women of the Astra Militarum for they sacrafice everything for mankind and face foes much larger than themselves and still hold the line!

[@windbeneathmywings4884]

Love the railjack in the thumbnail

[@TheOGSpartanNinja]

Scary AF

[@Claymore200]

what I'm actually on time for one of these?

[@Synthmilk]

"There's always a bigger rock, or more rocks, or harder rocks. Basically we'll kill you with a rock or some number of rocks greater than one." - Human Proverb

[@lukkaredwolf3534]

Valhallan Raider: Around Ry-la 6, through the gravity well, nothing but net.

[@chemplay866]

The Matek could then improve their ships to be shielded everywhere and then humanity fucking falls. The end

[@kalskirata42]

You're in the sniper's sight The first kill tonight Time to die You're in the bullet's way White Death's prey Say goodbye!

[@gianolores8664]

That thumbnail art that's a railjakc a fooken railjack pog

[@someasiandude4797]

I imagine they just put a fuckton of towed howitzers on a space barge, then let it rip

[@bassyxgrelle8659]

Ah yes, when in doubt hit organisms with other deadly things

[@walnut6684]

This is basically an intergalactic artillery and i love it

[@babla69420]

Interplanetary

[@dariustiapula]

If it hurts, it still works.

[@Roadburner4]

Well well well, that’s a railjack in the thumbnail thumbs up from a warframe fan.

[@dingo_dongo2242]

The only reason I clicked here was bc I saw a railjack from warframe. But I must say, I just found my favorite genre of short story. I think I'll write one myself

[@somedude-l2g]

Railjack thumbnail compelled me to watch

[@Archonicenergy]

Humans play Worms when they are young. we had no idea what this sentence meant until now.

[@captainfraser3827]

Snipin's a good job mate

[@norneaernourn8240]

I guess aliens don't need to gitgud when they can have aimbot and hitscan weapons. Using a projectile weapon that requires you to lead your target and approximate the point of intersection, is skill they wouldn't understand. Or the frustration of letting lose an arrow to intercept their head perfectly, only for them to absentmindedly change directions...

[@Edmar_Thorn]

Why use directed energy weapons, when kinetic energy weapons are just so gosh darn FUN? :D

[@TheSonicfanx1]

Man I hope this is scientifically accurate

[@mill2712]

I believe you can actually do this with our own planets however trajectories would be more predictable due to there only being a fewer number of planetary bodies with sufficient enough gravity for this to be that effective.

[@funniguy2967]

best canon

[@d73w80]

What happens when AverageJonas becomes a space military commander

[@ProjectNetoku]

Railjack pic in the thumbnail... man this short story has better effort than railjack xp

[@mstrfool]

(Sings) Reach out. Reach out and touch someone. Call up. Call up and just say die... Apologies to the ATT ad department... For you youngins, variation on an old ATT ad.

[@DEMONOFLOVEANDDEATH]

For the Narrator

[@McSenkel]

So... humans are space Tau? HERESY!!

[@ymmijx6061]

these stories always have this weird bent of "oh those humans love to fight themselves' which is weird when you consider there's barely anyone alive today from the last war between major powers

[@arlyssstewart3040]

If you can't find a meteor storm homemade is fine

[@TiernanWilkinson]

That's a cool idea.

[@BandwidthMusic]

The Humans watching their calculations working out perfectly: kzbin.info/www/bejne/n2GsXqp8ibJ1ec0

[@waldorffordlaw9529]

To be fair I thought we were gonna swing a moon at them

[@Dargor110]

So... anyone play the game Interplanetary before?

[@darron13]

"Sir Issac Newton is the deadliest son of a bitch in space!"

[@chrisb9143]

Omae wa mu, SHINDEIRU !

[@darrellmurray4928]

NANI?!?

[@calvingreene90]

K kill weapons are just so reliable and simple.

[@Information_Seeker]

6:55 I could understand the fact that they have to translate into text, but surely they'd have a basic text to speech/any species communication type, or even a more advanced, read the emotions and such social cues shown by them and add it to the translation into speech/X species communication type.

[@paulhuston9991]

They basically played a ballistic game of horse simultaneously and happened to swish every shot. Yeah we may not be able to propel out the barrel but slingshot something around a plant and 2700fps becomes 70,000mph hahaha mxv=f yahoo

[@thenthson]

Was this the shot that was heard around the world?

[@marxel4444]

You know there are prepared killing grounds....but this...this is much much worse xD

[@loganshaw4527]

Humans are playing way to much space angry birds.

[@ouberfox5898]

Wen a human says yeet take cover and run

[@vocaloid300]

Hay nice railjack