New Moon Is A Codependent Nightmare | Twilight Book BREAKDOWN

[@MemeMaradith]

Honestly, with how Bella acted after being lost in the woods, with it being known that Edward was the last person with her, and his family skipped town and her father's a cop, like... why wasn't the town, or at least the entire police force, hunting Edward down as a suspected rapist? I know that's dark, but that's what it looks like.

[@paisleesheppard5629]

O M G. You're right! I didn't even realize that would be a logical conclusion. Charlie would at least _try_ to get her to a hospital for a rape kit. Or get a female officer to talk to her. Tbf though, would they really go after Edward without an accusation or report from Bella, the presumed victim? As far as I know, if the victim doesn't come forward, you can't report on behalf of? If that were possible, people would get arrested for domestic abuse much more often. Neighbours, concerned family members, etc. would report an abuser, they do a health check, but the victim doesn't give them anything to perform an arrest with?

[@antisocialal4799]

@@paisleesheppard5629 It depends. The justice system has too many loopholes and it’s bs. Anyways, you can report it and you should report it. However, that doesn’t necessarily mean there would be charges. It doesn’t matter what happens, always report. If you don’t report, you’re allowing a monster to keep walking streets who could possibly murder or rape another person.

[@MemeMaradith]

@@paisleesheppard5629 it's definitely under reported and tough to get enough evidence to get to court, but this is a cops daughter, and she was near catatonic after having a full blown mental breakdown... in a small town that saw a bunch of unsolved murders in the last few months, and then this rich kid is in a suspicious situation and his parents up and leave town? It looks so bad, and the police force should really be following up on that. Seriously, this would be a better story if it was told through her father's perspective as a cop in a small town with these supernatural murders happening, and then his daughter gets dragged into it so that ups the stakes, making it personal. Might not be an original format, but I could see that having a stronger plot.

[@viovenda8922]

Too unrealistic, the police dont do anything about rapists irl so it would ruin the immersion

[@annabeinglazy5580]

@@viovenda8922 unless the Girl is a cops daughter. Pretty Sure in that Case they might Go full Police on them. I would buy it that the cops kid being Hurt might "suddenly" make the Department do their frigging Job and investigate all the other Shit.

[@TheLadyLiddell]

To give Meyer an ounce of credit, I think the way she used the months on the blank pages was a brilliant way to convey the type of deep depression and zombie-like state Bella was in. In a better book that would have been a brilliantly emotional choice.

[@who_the_fuck_is_riley5813]

Honestly yeah. Incredibly relatable

[@SanjaSleipnir]

My thoughts exactly tbh

[@andrewb6194]

I remember Krimson pointing that out as a detail he liked (albeit, with some sass) And I do agree with him on that!

[@chelscara]

I remember sitting in my room absolutely sobbing as I turned those pages 😭😭😭

[@LeanneLukacs]

Honestly, I have to agree. I made fun of that part when I read the Twilight books in high school, but when I went through a severe depressive episode a few years later it was suddenly a lot more relatable to me. Because for me, at least, that is often what depression feels like; time passing by in a blur with very little meaning.

[@lindala2602]

Edward is denying Bella her human right to burn the pictures of her ex

[@breezy3392]

Yeah, I hated that detail. He couldn't even let her make that decision on her own

[@darianrose2195]

Truly cruel. Best part of my inappropriate relationship, I was too young for him and realized later in life he was a groomer, was throwing a necklace he gave me in a river. 10/10, would recommend.

[@a.evelyn5498]

@Linda Larsen As he can’t be caught in photos because he’s a vampire?? You can’t photograph vampires just as they don’t appear in the mirror. Is it the same in Twilight?

[@lindala2602]

@@a.evelyn5498 the mirror and photography thing is because of silver, so with newer technology it is no longer a problem

[@TKZells16]

Very true. Shit Ex gave me a photo album of our relationship, I chucked that thing in the dumpster 5 minutes after we broke up

[@sinner9192]

Romeo and Juliet literally starts with a dick joke. Anyone who takes it seriously is about as smart as Bella.

[@mst3kharris]

By that metric, none of Shakespeare's plays ought to be taken seriously.

[@lilrhia]

@@mst3kharris pretty sure that's the whole point

[@annabeinglazy5580]

@@mst3kharris i mean i would argue that Romeo and Juliet is Not a Love Story but a cautionary tale about selfishness and spontaneous actions leading to tragedy (aka: maybe dont secretly marry the kid of your sworn enemy in a town that is embroiled in one long Mob war). It would fit the historical context of Shakespeare much better and explain why Romeo pines after some Girl named Rosalinde and Moments later switched to Juliet. And completely disregards the... You know... Blood feud. No attempts at courting, No trying to make Peace with the dad. Just Instant Secret marriage. I found that Interpretation Always more interesting than the Love Story Angle, but Im Not surprised that Bella doesnt like it. Shes basically doing the same thing as Romeo by prioritizing her obsession with Edward over everything else, including a frigging Peace treaty and a future with her parents (tho she seems to See herself as Juliet, which is... Interesting)

[@oopsallbugs]

This, R&J is honestly so comedic

[@TheRonnieaj]

@@annabeinglazy5580 Not a love story! Not a love story!!!! Okay, maybe a love story (NOT a Romance 😒), and DEFINITELY a tragedy. It’s literally in the title everyone ignores.

[@teasecondaccount]

To be fair, I don’t think anyone in LA would think twice about their doctor wearing body glitter

[@melissareed3101]

It would definitely warrant some raised brows around here, not much else 🤣

[@JadeIsChronicallyTired]

Plus night shift doctors are a thing, especially at a big place like Cedar Sinai. Plus it's LA no one will notice if you never leave. I've lived next to people for months and never even seen their faces.

[@blueeyedscorpio7]

Omg!! Where did you get all that body glitter!?! 😉🤣

[@Danny-kk4nj]

They'd be asking him what brand he's wearing 😂

[@TuesdaysArt]

@@JadeIsChronicallyTired Exactly! If I've learned anything about doctors and hospitals from osmosis, it's that hospital staff have to work unusual hours.

[@sophiet.3426]

"My Chemical Romance, you're joking me." And what if I tell you that Stephenie Meyer wanted Gerard to play Edward in the movies? What if the dream she had about a beautiful man and a girl in a meadow was just a dream she had about herself and Gerard Way?

[@loadbearingskull]

So I guess we know who the true author of my immortal is then

[@BlackIsALightShade]

imagining gerard way as edward cullen was immensely repulsive, and i’m genuinely a fan of gerard way

[@sophiet.3426]

@@BlackIsALightShade it’s just a weird prospect altogether

[@sophiet.3426]

@@loadbearingskull she‘d be a genius for that

[@AlizeeYeezy]

no way

[@rikiinexx2151]

bella genuinely angered me in this book. she has treated everyone like shit, she used jacob and let me not get started on how much of a terrible terrible person she is to charlie. it truly upsets me to see what a vile person she is to everyone around her

[@echomaim3087]

M see i

[@yasminchan7425]

Agreed, when I first watched the movies and read the books, not only did I find Bella, and Edward tbh, insanely boring, but Bella is a bitch, I hate how badly she treats Charlie and, even though Jacob might not be the greatest person, I hate how she was just using him and leading him on bc she was lonely

[@ANPC-pi9vu]

Also there's the fact she pretends to hate her birthday and is so miserable and ungrateful when she's with Edward, but then with Jacob she pretends their birthdays are the most exciting thing ever. Her and Edward so deserve each other.

[@nont18411]

Why didn’t she call Charlie her “dad”?

[@rikiinexx2151]

@@nont18411 she wasn’t raised by him, but was with him every summer until she moved. so she always called him charlie, just not to his face

[@seleuf]

"We never see Jacob sniffing around Edward's marble ballsack." That would've been absolutely hilarious, though.

[@rowan4133]

Fun fact: MCR was asked to do a song for the twilight soundtrack at one point but they didn't like Twilight and went on to make a song called Vampire Money which was a song about how much they didn't want to be on the Twilight soundtrack

[@jazwhoaskedforthis]

This would break my heart as a fan and author lol ouch

[@abyssalnightmare551]

MCR is and continues to be legendary

[@TKZells16]

Legend

[@kikihyde2299]

Another only mildly related fun fact about MCR, they did allow a song in the Renfield movie (but it was not vampire money)

[@erikaannette7397]

Omg imagine crediting a band for helping you write and them clapping back like this 😂😂😂 ouchie 😂😂😂

[@henryisthere]

Ironically, there’s an explanation for Jasper’s rampage that kind of makes sense. As an empath, Jasper can sense just how much Edward is thirsting for Bella’s blood. He’s experiencing Edward’s bloodlust in addition to his own. As long as everyone in his inner circle is indifferent to blood, he can fight it (even with heavy exposure to blood). If the overwhelming emotion in the room is bloodlust, it’s much more difficult. Then again, that’s probably giving Meyer too much credit.

[@jujufe9]

Actually this is genius. I completely forgot about Jasper's empathetic abilities. Probably giving Meyer too much credit, this actually explains why Jasper never lashed out at Bella prior to this.

[@iolandad.381]

The sentence "As an empath, Jasper..." Made me choke on my water. Fantastic idea though. Too bad Meyer didn't think that far x.x

[@andrearupe8094]

New Moon was such a painful read back in the day. Imagine reading this at 18 years old, while your borderline personality disorder is developing, and going through a tough time with your first love. I totally saw myself as Bella and my boyfriend at the time as Edward, too. Ugh.

[@Shadowplay4Cats]

Oof. Poor you.

[@lindala2602]

I was in psyciatric hospital with my depression while reading this and was asking Bella to come join me

[@kiara1286]

Literally same.

[@artimisjay8071]

This one hits right home; I was younger, though, but the effect was the same lmao

[@deathnstuff]

Don’t do urself like that 💔 even at your absolute worst, ur literally a god next to Bella Swan LMAO 😭

[@thekneesbee]

If New Moon is Romeo and Juliet then Robert Pattinson himself is Mercurtio: comic relief who does not believe in their love story, also is dying (Pattinson just dies on the inside, he is still a grave man.)

[@meowmeowfuzzyface3698]

I'm only 35 minutes in but I have to tell you. Bestie they weren't even together FIVE months before he broke up with her. The entire Twilight Saga is over less than 2 years. When I realized this I was so shook. They're broken up for longer than they dated 💀💀 If I remember right when you add up the total time they were together before they get married it's like 10 months. I hope you do videos for the other books because I will watch them all

[@AlizeeYeezy]

wait why did I think it was 5 months lol, how long was it?

[@meowmeowfuzzyface3698]

@@AlizeeYeezy I think there's a lot of confusion surrounding the timeline because a lot of weird stuff happens so quickly. Upon googling it says on Reddit they were together just over 5 months, so I was wrong there. My apologies! I just remembered they were for sure broken up for longer than they originally dated when New Moon happened.

[@tonichan89]

You have to count that in mormon years though, cus mormons marry super quickly

[@paisleesheppard5629]

Bruh I don't even decide if I want to stick with a job until I've been there for at least a year. The thought of marriage in less time is insane to me.

[@antisocialal4799]

@@tonichan89 All religious people think 5 months is a decade. They get married so fast and then end up in a miserable abusive marriage or divorced and toxic.

[@jazwhoaskedforthis]

Honestly, though, I had grey hairs at 18 and used to joke about being a cool granny. But the second I hit 30 I realized with alarm how much of my value was tied to being “young.” I always looked and sounded young, and most of my prospective partners always commented on how young I appeared. Frankly It even used to be really problematic, I think people targeted me because they had some ephebephile(?) tendencies or other weird things. I was called “legal jailbait” which was a huge put off to me of course, but once I was 30 I realized that it felt like that youth was all I had to offer my usually older male partners. All my progress and accomplishments no longer felt impressive like they were in my teens or twenties, and I was no longer told I had all my life ahead of me. It felt like I was suddenly all out of time and value. I had never wanted babies? I never wanted to be married? I didn’t think I cared as much about my looks? But bro this societal messaging fucks you up. I was trying to pin down a skincare routine that helped me just manage my skin and suddenly I realized how fixated I was on any changes over time even if it wasn’t noticeable at all to anyone else. I get it, mortality and decay and being disregarded by society as past your prime is fucked up. It sucks. It’s also super problematic that our “prime” is when we’re teens to early twenties and it’d tied to how fuckable afab people are to the male gaze. Stories where the protagonist feels like an old hag at EIGHTEEN is so full of this sick energy, and it’s also very Mormon isn’t it?

[@antisocialal4799]

It’s really fucked.

[@user-vy2hz6fl6x]

I’d imagine Bella would have this issue if she never became a vampire. Particularly because Edward is hundreds of years old I think??😭nevertheless I hope you’re alright! Thank you for sharing your experience.

[@_gremlinboy]

Haha I feel like I'm reading something I might write in ten years. Thank you for sharing, especially since it's getting read by young folk who are already seeing this kind of thing and trying to unlearn it in real time. (Because the infantalizing and fetishizing of baby faced afab people is really such shit. I had a man I was sleeping with- not even dating, I swear the gall of this guy- legitimately physically pick me up and tell me that he thought it was really hot how small I was and called me cute when I got angry with him for fking picking me up without my consent, and with me looking like a ten year old boy, it became really clear why this guy was into me. Worse was that I'd had "don't infantilize me" in my bio at the time due to other guys being similarly but less extremely weird :/ eat shit seth)

[@specialnanobot]

omg, I could have written this. I've had some questionable partners and one of my first boyfriends later got arrested for, hm, showing his dude-parts to non-consenting teenagers, this combined with other things made me worry I attracted people who had pedo-y tendencies. Another boyfriend focused on how small/young I look to an uncomfortable extent, he also reduced me too only being how I look, ever since I've struggled with the feeling of losing all value when I get older. .

[@t.k.h.3913]

Jesus, this could be me. I’m glad you acknowledged ephebophilia - I feel like it’s not well known about, and can be a real issue for women who look young; the creeps come out of the woodwork. I also think it’s important to distinguish between it and paedophilia: one is worse than the other, after all. Obviously still very problematic, but I think it minimises the impact of paedophilia; that label should have as much power as we can give it. Anyway, hope you’re coping with all the societal bullshit as best you can!

[@ashina7331]

all of our poor relationship choices all come back to this series. i demand compensation, stephenie

[@thealexellucas]

So Alice can see the future but doesn’t notice that Bella is visibly uncomfortable and goes ahead with a party she knows she’ll hate. Also she doesn’t see the possible future where she cuts her finger so she doesn’t do something sensible like wrap the presents in cloth or hell not at all. I’m calling it, Alice hates Bella and planed this party to kill her.

[@Mels0103]

This theory makes me like Alice a lot more.

[@lisaleyendekker8305]

I mean, it was Alice's mate that was going to kill her, so...

[@bethanyd6701]

Her visions of the future change based on people's decisions (apparently, the whole mechanics of how it works seem to change depending on what the plot requires tbh), Bella didn't decide to cut her finger, it just happened lol so that's why she didn't see that.

[@BabyGirlTiny]

@@bethanyd6701 isn’t the reason why they’re rich is because Alice has visions of the stock market? That’s not definite and it changes all the time. If that’s the case, they shouldn’t be rich.

[@bethanyd6701]

@@BabyGirlTiny exactly lmao it makes no sense smeyer truly does not care 💀

[@IxiaRayne]

“My dog has more balls than Bella - and he’s neutered!” When I tell you I CHOKED laughing 😂

[@kyleiq1912]

when i was a kid a girl in my neighborhood got banned from reading twilight because she started "acting like bella". at the time i was so confused why that was a problem but i get it now😭

[@jazwhoaskedforthis]

What on earth does that mean? Just fixating on dysfunctional boys and moping for months straight lol

[@breezy3392]

Acting like Bella...that is disturbing

[@kyleiq1912]

@@jazwhoaskedforthis i guess djsnkdndkd and maybe hiding things from parents?? idk we were like 11😭 not sure how much she could have done😭

[@Ruthy101]

I almost got my butt whooped in the mall for quoting something snarky from a book I read at my mom, ahh, childhood memories

[@Xehanort10]

@@jazwhoaskedforthis Probably the whole "tries to kill herself because she got dumped" thing.

[@sinner9192]

Ah yes, my favorite book, white man vs. furry (ft. Mary Sue)

[@witchflowers6942]

its not even a good TF.

[@abhainn35]

The Twilight series, as follows: -Clumsy Mary Sue moves to a new town and immediately simps over an emo sparkle boy. Emo Sparkle Boy tries not to kill her because her blood smells like daises or something. Oh, and he's a vampire. Something, something, other vampire bites Mary Sue in an unfortunately not kinky way. - Sparkles says "LMAO" and ditches Mary Sue in the woods. Mary Sue gains "The Big Sad" (TM) and risks her life on motorbikes with Magic Furry Boy. Everything is going great until Sparkles's sister, Hot Topic Rachel Elizabeth Dare, reveals Sparkles is going to overdramatically send Italy into a glittery death. Mary Sue pretends the last months didn't happen and leaves to save her stupid ex. Featuring vampire mafia. - Mary Sue continues to simp for Sparkles but also, apparently, simps for Furry. Furry is big mad and gets character assassinated into being a "nice guy". Cop Dad also gets assassinated into being useless. Mary Sue wants to commit horizontal tango with Emo Sparkles, but he is a good Mormon boy and proposes instead. Stereotypical Mean Girl complains about being an immortal all powerful vampire . . . because she can't have kids. Oh and a bunch of vampires are trying to kill Mary Sue, but that doesn't really matter. - Mary Sue and Emo Sparkle Boy get married. Furry is being edgy. Emo Sparkle Boy gets carried away in the frickle frackle and now Mary Sue is giving birth to a monster baby. Everyone tries to help as Mary Sue slowly dies; Sparkles and Furry argue over abortion. When Mary Sue goes into labor, Sparkle Boy says "fuck it" and turns her into a vampire. They give their child the worst name in human history and (I don't care what the book says, it feels like an act of revenge for being rejected by Bella) Furry grooms their daughter, Ravioli. Vampire Mafia comes back and plans to kill the kid. Cue a fight scene that doesn't happen because Smeyer doesn't have the guts to write guts. The Vampire Mafia and emo couple shake hands and go home. Happy ever after.

[@darianrose2195]

@@abhainn35 I love spotting a fellow Rattie in the wild.

[@abhainn35]

@@darianrose2195 I have no idea what that means, but I'll take it as a compliment.

[@darianrose2195]

@@abhainn35 You called Renesmee Ravioli, that's one of the Twilight Shitposting community's codenames for her. It's an ever evolving group. Lol

[@Kalirae]

I would love Alizee to do Audiobooks or audio podcast of any novels, but add her opinions in mid-read, would make it hilarious and great.

[@SanjaSleipnir]

@Rach me too!

[@kit922]

The "As Told By Alizee" series

[@dots_com1386]

I love how she essentially tortures herself at least twice and more likely 3 times for these videos: re-reading the book, presenting it to us and then editing the video. She must be so sick of this book before she started and now at near absurd levels by the end haha

[@katjau_]

Oh my god, the concept of Alice predicting the stock market is actually so interesting! I would love to read a book about how greedy and rotten someone would become with a superpower like that, especially someone who's lived for so many centuries

[@Onewingerdraven]

Any History book actually. Just replace the ruling classes with characters.

[@TuesdaysArt]

She could make a living out of making psychic predictions because she actually can predict the future. She'll never have to do algebra again.

[@KatarinaDinnar]

Alice is a freaking angel. With such a power , such a tempting power......

[@b.l7491]

If you're into evil vampires but still Gothic romance I recc reading Interview With the Vampire

[@thekneesbee]

Irt Carlisle leaving his job suddenly: it's not a vampiric power, here in the states it's not required to give notice you are leaving. It's recommended especially for professional career jobs like Carlisle but I'm sure more than half his resume is lies or stretched truths. Washington State is an "at-will" employment state so employers don't have to establish cause or give notice before firing an employee (employers cannot fire or retaliate against an employee who exercises a protected right or files a complaint under certain employment laws.) A good tip for understanding American labor laws is if it doesn't make sense,it will make dollars (for a corporation, obviously. We are the culture that wants people to call having fun at work time theft.)

[@bunnybi4910]

Okay but “Bella’s not a meteor, she’s the asteroid that finished off the dinosaurs” completely ended me 🤣

[@anaionescu8913]

Just like the dinosaurs

[@ccrepaldi4740]

YES, didn't think you would keep going with the saga Which means you will eventually get to the infamous shitstorm of imprinting-on-a-monster-baby trainwreck of a plot, can't wait

[@TheRonnieaj]

I both dead and LIVE FOR this moment!!

[@sandy_carpetsthesecond5013]

God, It's so weird... Like, that isn't even what imprinting is...? Imprinting is basically when a super young animal develops a fixation on the first thing it sees, which is usually a parent. Why tf is Jacob imprinting on this literal baby when he's an adult??? I get wolves have this thing where they can only bond with one specific person and are completely incapable of bonding with others regardless of circumstance, but it's just... so weird for him to do that on a literal baby.

[@BrytteM]

To be fair, the whole childbirth scene could not be more astounding body horror and if only Smeyer let herself write these books as horror... Like in this saga, Bella could have perfectly been an adultified mentally ill teenager who passes from parenting her mom to parenting her dad and then making one guy she hardly knows the epicenter of her world, purely because with him she feels special/hopes their big imagined romance will solve her life. We notice especially by how the pinacle of her life is being a vampire, with all the status she pretended to not want, the hot guy and a daughter she hardly has to mother because it grows so fast... Could have been a horror story I tell ya Smeyer deffo has stock for body horror

[@sandy_carpetsthesecond5013]

@@BrytteM Y'know what pregnancy horror is? Steven Universe. How was steven birthed? Did rose just poof and Steven fell out of the air? Or did she actually birth him? Because Steven has Roses gem, and roses Gem was on her stomach. So if she gave birth to him... Did he drag her stomach through her vagina with him?? Like... How did she birth him??

[@ceinwenchandler4716]

@@sandy_carpetsthesecond5013 Thank you. I was trying not to think about that.

[@Sam_Lite]

Thank you so much for giving us a feature length film only 1 hour after I rechecked your channel for new videos. I'm feeling sick and finally know what I'll be doing for the next 3 hours.

[@deannascorner8112]

Right! Apparently we were on the same wavelength because I knew she was coming out with one today too!

[@extractionoflight9478]

Get well soon ☺️💜

[@LouFriend]

Same hun, fella has just tested positive and I'm not feel too hot. This is exactly what I needed

[@Sam_Lite]

@@LouFriend Please get better soon! ☆

[@Sam_Lite]

@@deannascorner8112 I was thinking to myself about how I hadn't heard Alizee take anyone down a few notches in awhile. And I missed the conspiratorial talk about lizardfolk as well.

[@makkabeech]

Okay, I have wracked my brain for an explanation for the bull that is her obsession with Edward. They mention the vamp venom and I've decided it would make more sense if she was addicted to it from spit swapping with Ed so when he suddenly drops her she's going through withdraws and I know it isn't true but that would still be a better story.

[@BooksandBuns]

No, that makes perfect sense! In vampire lore, they have thralls, right. Human servants that are deathly loyal to their vampire lords. Bella is just Edward's thrall

[@nymiancomplex7336]

This, but their scent actually. I mean, if you read it with this angle in mind, it really makes sense that Bella is addicted to their scent. It’s why she’s in so deep so quick, before they even kiss, cause she goes crazy when she first smells him. Also explains why when alice comes around again she’s sniffing her like a freak, she’s like a deprived addict voraciously intaking a drug, seriously. And the way she is constantly thinking about and describing their scents? Yeah lol

[@makkabeech]

@@nymiancomplex7336 Ooooh! And that would make sense why the werewolf, who she dosent kiss, makes her feel better. His scent is actively forcing out the vampire's!

[@lauraslibrary3668]

A note on McDonald's coke - it hits different because they have different storage/delivery systems than other fast food places. They get their syrup delivered in stainless steel containers instead of plastic bags like most restaurants. That keeps it tasting more fresh, as well as other techniques like prechilling the syrup and water, advanced water filtration, etc. Basically they mastered a lot of component parts that make the end result great for co2 levels and overall taste (crisper/fresher).

[@nikkydalby7126]

Also, their straws are bigger so the carbonation hits your tongue differently

[@TalkBack17]

Huh, I always wondered why Coke from McDonald’s tasted so much better

[@VelverElixir]

So at about 17 mins in, she gets to the jasper birthday party thing. My favorite way of looking at that, which makes the scene much better and was likely not what Meyer intended, came from a fanfiction. Basically, Jasper is an empath, he can both feel and control others emotions, and he is basically around how many vampires that suddenly become hungry. Not only that, but he is hungry, and she is literally Edward's 'singer'. So he has the combined weight of his hunger, everyone else's, and Edward's 'singer' hunger. Is it really any wonder he snapped? Out of most of them his control is probably better than everyone, but Carlisle. In a day to day, he likely wouldn't slip up on his own. Idk. Honestly his story is so much more interesting than most of the others. As she says, why is he not our mc?

[@jazwhoaskedforthis]

I feel like you put in more thought and would have written a better story than Meyer in this case. That’s way more interesting than “he hasn’t been practicing as long”

[@AlizeeYeezy]

jasper is shane dawson confirmed

[@feelinglikejules]

this is such a good interpretation of that scene!

[@Signy8]

@@AlizeeYeezy noooooo

[@eilir_adron]

@Linda Les if i remember correctly, i think she meant for him to have a kind of "southern gentleman" thing going on, and she kinda romanticized certain aspects of confederate soldiers, such as the accent and bAtTlEsCaRs and the whole proud fighters thing yikes

[@kewchiemonster]

“No suicidal ideation in MY christian vampire story!”

[@shanicek5188]

I'm so sorry to everyone who ever read this during their formative years and thought this was peak romance. You guys deserve an apology for this garbage

[@talynhastime9343]

As you say in your review of the first book, Bella fell in obsessive love with Edward way too fast, but I blame Edward for not recognizing that AND for thinking that just cutting her off from him so suddenly was the best choice. The one singular good part about this book are the blank pages labeled only with the months as a way of illustrating Bella’s depression. That is powerful. Other than that, I recall reading the book as a kid hoping that she’d get with Jacob because at least the guy was PRESENT and there for her. She could live a normal life with him. Also Stephanie Meyer has decent taste in music. I’ll give her that, too.

[@peach_levell]

WAIT WAIT. Alice helped give Bella a bath, and we're just gonna skip over this?? I'm sorry(not sorry) Alice and Bella for endgame

[@breezy3392]

Alice still abandoned Bella in this book and helped her brother hold her hostage in the next book. I don't like Alice

[@NotoriousLightning]

@@breezy3392 She didn't have a choice and Edward and Carlisle was lying to her to keep her from being with Bella and gaslighting. I've read many stories about this, and believe it to be true.

[@breezy3392]

@@NotoriousLightning What stories? Fanfiction?

[@NotoriousLightning]

@@breezy3392 You may very well say that, but personally I view them as canon.

[@breezy3392]

@@NotoriousLightning You view fanfiction as canon?

[@undyingUmbrage413]

Y'know, I initially thought "wow, i guess i'm team jacob, he's actually super likeable and i think that he should end up with bella" then the book continued and i have come to the conclusion that no, if i had to pick one then i'm very much team edward, because i'd feel much better with two awful people being together than someone as sweet as jacob ending up with someone as awful as bella.

[@strawberryjam7902]

did you still feel that way after reading eclipse

[@undyingUmbrage413]

@@strawberryjam7902 Poor writing choices later in the series don't make me angry at the character, they make me angry at the author. Jacob's not at fault for his character assassination. He deserved a better love interest AND a better author.

[@TPNsBiggestFan]

@@undyingUmbrage413 W

[@z3ro.Qw1rtz]

Exactly, leave the nice guy alone, we don't need crazy toxic partners anymore (never did)

[@AmyAberrant]

Also, Bella, step away from the underage boy

[@Nathi98]

Still can't believe an out of control vampire who lost his marbles at a papercut with blood was fully enrolled in high school where the most frequent injuries are bloody papercut fingers, scraped knees/elbows & bloody noses. Not to mention people with menstrual cycles... That's not just bad writing, it's negligent writing at its worst! Edit: Forgot about the fact Bella's blood is in writing so alluring no vampy can control their bloodlust. Basically her blood is like drugs of a better quality than most. An addict has recovered from & fails to stray from

[@imhappy7632]

I realised I may have gone slightly insane with my vampire drinking menstruation blood questioning, and I didn't think about how ppl tend to not think of that stuff so fair warning before you read the hell's beneath me This just made me think, do vampires drink period blood, since it's actually dirty blood? Do they have to purify it first or do they just slurp it up? Can they they slurp it up since it's mostly stuck on pads and tampons? Do they squeeze it out like squeezing water out of clothes, but I think the most important question is what the hell is wrong with me?

[@cyagami90]

@@imhappy7632 its not dirty blood. It just has dead organ tissue from ur uterus in it as well

[@Nathi98]

@@imhappy7632 I think the rich bitch vampires would purify this if they were somewhere in perfil & had a shortage of blood supply stand by Idk what the not rich bitch vampires would do

[@monicapetras8227]

@@imhappy7632 it’s not dirty blood it’s technically not even blood it’s the shed lining of the uterus

[@Nathi98]

@@monicapetras8227 So it has no feeding purposes to them whatsoever?

[@hollyhayes9640]

I believe Robert Pattinson actually refused an Oscar nomination for his role as Edward because Twilight was so awful (the books and the movies were both terrible). 😬 Edit: Robert also kissed the actor who played Jacob (Taylor Lautner) at the Oscars just to piss off Stephanie Meyer (she's Mormon). 😂👍 Edit 2: The whole book was basically just a fever-dream, dude.

[@antisocialal4799]

Taylor Lautner played Jacob and that’s great! I love that they did that just piss her off. The whole series is very trash.

[@wabbitwabbit98]

I didn't know she was a mormon so I looked it up and "Meyer is a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and does not drink alcohol, drink coffee, smoke, or watch R-rated movies" you're telling me she wrote that whole series completely sober??!!!

[@laural1227]

Robert Pattinson was incredibly ungrateful. She gave him a career. He is a cry baby.

[@laural1227]

You never saw Kristen stwart wgoing around being ungrateful and that's why she got into the Oscar's

[@royce6485]

@@laural1227 😂 lmaooooo do you really think that actors just “get” careers? They audition for roles. Maybe Stephanie Meyer should be grateful to him for making her more money. Who the fuck cares if he didn’t like Twilight? Acting is a job. He did his job and got paid, end of story.

[@bobcatred]

Tbh, I always interpreted Romeo and Juliet as the equivalent of one of the melodramatic teen dramas like the CW puts out where everything is a HUGE LIFE-ALTERING CRISIS and everyone meets their one true love in high school (until someone hotter comes along to create a love triangle). Just seemed like Shakespeare was totally hitting that same “teens have big angsty emotions and parents just don’t understand” vibe… so I guess my interpretation wasn’t far off from spoof, lol. Also was why I was completely unsurprised Twilight would have R&J quotes….

[@paisleesheppard5629]

CW shows omg 😂 I'm always screaming helloooo there's this thing called time, days, weeks, months, why is everything Most Urgently Urgent Must Happen Immediately. Yes, yes, the whole time passes faster the older you get, because the older you get, the smaller amounts of time get in comparison to the time you've been conscious. (Which is my new existential dread, because fuck, I don't want a full year to pass in the blink of an eye 😭)

[@antisocialal4799]

@@paisleesheppard5629 It’s actually debated that Shakespeare made R&J as satire, but everyone unironically fell for it and thought it was healthy. Wrong time, Shakespeare lol.

[@user-vy2hz6fl6x]

I always interrupted Romeo and Juliet as a cautionary tale that displays what one of the worst type of relationship is like

[@afrouniverse9149]

The worst thing about this book (and this is just my opinion) is that bella being extremely catatonic and depressed over losing a boyfriend isn't necessarily cringy or overdramatic. What makes it like that is the fact that were 1) supposed to root for her feeling like this 2) not supposed to think that the dude who dumped her is a freak. This isn't a story about a girl getting out of an abusive relationship and feeling empty after leaving someone so close to her, or a girl who lost her boyfriend to death, or a girl who is in need of mental help because she gets this weird everytime the love of her life is away. All of this could have been so good as books, and yet we're supposed to root for this abusive relationship. It's not even a situation where things are just kinda toxic and they're trying to work them out, because that can happen. No, it's just a weirdo simping over another weirdo, and we're supposed to take it seriously

[@afrouniverse9149]

Also after listening to this video again, is it just me or are the interactions in this book so painfully unnatural? You can't imagine anything going on because it all reads as a fanfiction rather than an actual book. It's just so boring

[@shannonmoore3057]

Petition to have the Twilight movies remade, with Jeff Goldblum as Jacob Black.

[@NotoriousLightning]

And Julia Roberts as Bella and Jeremy Renner as Edward and Cissy Spacek as Alice, (Only the best is good enough for her.)

[@NotoriousLightning]

Oh and make it animated.

[@moaPro]

Include Jack Black somewhere idk make him Edward

[@paisleesheppard5629]

Now that I'm 26 and have more life experience than I did when I was 11 - 18, which was the period over which all books were written and the movies came out - Jeez Liouse. There are so many ways to keep Bella safe without breaking up. Or moving away. Hang out with Bella with Alice and Charlisle in the vicinity: Alice can keep an eye on Bella's future, Charlisle can whisk Bella away if she's bleeding because he doesn't get hangry. Privacy is non-existent in that family anyway bc Edward can hear what everyone's thinking. Fair's fair for it to be the other way around for once, right? 🤔 Sure, if he chomps the jugular or Bella gets decapitated by idk, car crash shrapnel, she ded. But then you're too late whether you're a walking immortalising venom container or not. 🤷‍♀️ Zoom calls with Edward & Bella and the fam from Charlie's. Can't chomp or smell it via video. I doubt Jasper would leg it all the way to Charlie's without someone in the fam decking him on the way, if he's still going for the chomp. The fam goes to college, they do long distance with sporadic visits for a while. Like normal people. They can decide hey so Bella's gonna age, how about we wait until she's 21, give her some time to work on her confidence and self-worth, send her to a coach or psychologist or whatever, get her clumsiness looked at (inner-ear issues? Coordination issues? Does she need glasses? Depth perception issues so she misjudges her steps?) Ed and Bella can still see each other if they want, just make sure to minimise the risks: the more vamps she's around, the more chomping potential. The hungrier 1 vamp is, the bigger the chomping potential. Have her see everyone in the fam once a week or once in 2 weeks. If she wants to spend time with everyone. Then turn her into a vamp when she's 21 and has at least _some_ chance of being taken at face value by the more experienced adults in the world. If you're stuck at 18 forever, you'll be stuck in high school-age social circles forever. Good luck getting a mortgage. Or a loan. Without getting flagged as potential money laundering, human traffic victim, domestic abuse victim, coerced control victim, stuck-up rich kid, gang member or mob heir. Fine if you don't give a shit about what others think about you (like an old vampire probably would bc they know the assholes will be shuffling with walkers in 80 years or so) but for Bella as she is now, without intervention or coaching, pffffffffff. Some existence. I think it's safe to say that Bella has (some) traits that correspond with an untreated anxiety disorder. I have depression, adhd with anxious tendencies. Before I got diagnosed and sought treatment (medical or otherwise) I was planning to apply for euthanasia at 18 on grounds of psychological suffering. (My environment dismissed depression as a possibility because I was atypical. Same for anxiety which I kept bottled up bc I noticed it was burdensome to others.) The thought that I would have to exist in that mental state for the rest of my life was upsetting enough that I was looking at options to stop existing altogether. Imagine living like that forever as Bella Swan. noooo thank you, I'll pass 😬. Oof. I didn't mean to write an essay 😅. Oh well, I hope it was entertaining at least.

[@TuesdaysArt]

It'd probably be Skype or Oovoo instead of Zoom because it was the 2000s, but aside from that, yeah. If it worked for my family, it can work for Edward and Bella.

[@kilobucket]

​@@TuesdaysArt oovoo nostalgia

[@Everyyoueverymiau]

When the Breakdown is longer than the movie adaptation 🤣 Thanks for doing this to yourself for our entertainment. BTW I love both of your channels!

[@katesicle]

Since the Twilight Renaissance began a few years ago I’ve been wondering, “maybe I was too harsh all along?“ I’m so glad you came along to dissuade me from that ridiculous thought. These books are awful

[@religiousotaku9926]

I feel like it’s a Renaissance of just completely tearing it apart and I am all for it

[@anaionescu8913]

The Renaissance isn't a manifestation of people thinking Twilight media is good, it's just us appreciating the absolute ABSURDITY around it and maximizing the meme potential

[@eilir_adron]

@@religiousotaku9926 an age of enlightenment if you will

[@Xehanort10]

I'm a man but current Twilight fans who think all women like and have to like it just because it's aimed at them piss me off. That's all I've been seeing of this "Twilight Renaissance." Its fans calling men who don't like it sexist while being sexist themselves and saying all women have to like it.

[@sailoraries8086]

me: in therapy for years, wondering why I kept getting into these toxic, codependent relationships also me: watching these breakdowns like 👁👄👁

[@Xxbubbly10]

I was wondering that and then I remember that I grew up being obsessed with vampires and books like twilight not surprising

[@i361x3]

Same here, it is so weird seeing these stories from a mature adult's perspective and remembering how obsessed I was with them and how much I wished for a relationship like that. Well, I did get what I wished for, it just turns out that relationships like that are not as much fun in real life as they are portrayed in the books

[@Jasmine-rm8nh]

Why is every twilight book just 90% of absolutely nothing happening and then 10 % of a clusterfuck amount of plot at the end?? And Bella spends all of her time wishing Edward was more average looking like her but like...all of their arguments end with her being distracted by his face/how he smells/ and body so...ya'll would've broken up a long time ago if he looked like mike newton.

[@leslienope]

On top of wanting to use Jacob, Bella is also letting him hold her hand and all that bc she doesn't want to be left again. It's the codependence like you mentioned, she replaced her fucked up relationship with Edward with a fucked up relationship with Jacob. I don't understand how this girl who at first doesn't seem to care about maintaining relationships with almost anyone becomes defined by fear of being alone. Well, I do understand, it's bad writing.

[@jazwhoaskedforthis]

She only cares about people who she deems worthy of utterly defining herself by. She thinks she’s better than everyone else in some way and she just desperately latches onto people who could make her more interesting. She latches onto the people who make her feel dramatic and special for being ordinary, instead of being ordinary for being ordinary. Hate this character.

[@jirarara669]

And isn’t Jacob like 15-16 in the book while Bella’s 18? That sounds off to me 🤔

[@themedia1271]

@@jirarara669 then how the fuck is he so goddamn ripped? He's bigger than the blood brother from Outlaw of Josie Wales.

[@sandradaring9338]

@@themedia1271 he’s a werewolf…

[@jazwhoaskedforthis]

I grew up internalizing the message that if a good guy friend liked me, I almost owed it to them to be with them. It caused so much pain, trauma, and confusion around whether I even knew or was capable of actual love. I hate messages like this in stories. I get that teens might struggle with it, but I don’t feel like Meyer ever really demonstrated that it isn’t a cute little triangle and that it would’ve been miserable for both of them. Don’t force yourself to “give people a chance”, kids. If you don’t feel it, you don’t feel it. That’s okay.

[@dariathelazy]

"Imagine one of your closest friends fancies you, but actually they only fancy you because you have an egg inside of you that they're fated to be with" (1:29:58) I had to take a break after being hit with *this* sentence, because holy fuck

[@ziamarie]

And what she said next "if bella did marry jacob and they did have the baby would he have imprinted on his own daughter?" 🤯 omg i caaaaaant

[@xLiLlyx98]

20:33 chapter 2 28:08 chapter 3 44:44 bella is catatonic 57:33 chapter 5 1:12:06 chapter 7 1:20:28 chapter 8 1:47:21 chapter 11 1:53:49 chapter 12 02:03:50 chapter 14 02:06:33 chapter 15 02:16:42 chapter 17 [...] 02:39:23 chapter 21 02:47:00 chapter 22

[@duskianfae]

I actually find Bella fretting over herself reaching 18 quite realistic. While now I have the gift of foresight to look back and say "lol, wth was that all about I was a Tiny Baby", I had a legit meltdown when I reached 18 because I was getting old, and it was all fueled by my irrational fear of death (no jokes, it's an actual thing I'm working on). Can't imagine what dating an immortal that refused to give me the Immortal Juice would do to me smh Anyway, I'm only 20 minutes in and I'm loving it lmao. What is it with straight romances where the mc keeps describing other women in such a gay way? I swear to god this keeps happening

[@flowerfabuki4783]

The more and more lately I’ve consumed twilight content lately (mostly due to midnight sun getting a lot of attention) the more like Bella’s behavior scream BPD. Like, the dependency issues, the inconsistency with having relationships with people that aren’t her current favorite person, the low self esteem and self worth, her current attachment usually being a toxic relationship that’s sole purpose is to make her feel like she has value and purpose despite never truly feeling like she has it even when she’s in the relationship. Even in new moon with her lowkey turning obsessive when Jacob goes MIA after only like two weeks of hanging out. Also not mentioning the obvious other symptoms like the intense moods that are directly related to her current fixation. I haven’t seen many people make that connection so I’m putting that out into the world, because a teen oriented book romanticizing those behaviors is harmful to not only people suffering from BPD who are struggling to get help, but normalizing the unhealthy situations that can come up for people in the lives of someone suffering from untreated BPD. Not saying people with BPD are inherently toxic or always place themselves in toxic situations but many things similar to the relationships in twilight are common with the symptoms of the illness and cause a great deal of suffering for the person with the condition as well as the people who care about them 😔

[@nb8817]

“Idiot” in Italian is just “Idiota” (pronounced: idio-ta) so Edward has no excuses. 🙃 Bastardo is also pretty self explanatory 🙃

[@vincevince2414]

The mention of Edward being narcissistic just makes me want Gabbie Hana to read this book and scream at him « NARCISSISTIC ABUSER »

[@tonichan89]

High school BULLY!! 😡

[@Sandy-xd5bj]

Being pregnant and suffering from insomnia I just wanna let you know your videos help me. Your voice is relaxing and it can help me get a laugh even tho I’m sick as a dog.

[@2008-wii-remote]

hope ur baby's doin good

[@Sandy-xd5bj]

@@2008-wii-remote she is doing great

[@maxthepaladin2147]

"My dog has more balls than Bella, and he's neutered" I'm saving that one

[@LoneWolfeMedia]

OMG YES!! Thank you so much for this, I’ve been waiting! One thing I will say in defense of New Moon is that the depiction of teenage angst and depression is chilling in its accuracy. The section with just the names of the months, while melodramatic for the situation, is an incredible visual metaphor for how soul sucking living with depression is.

[@charxthekoopaking5673]

You are my thoughts about New Moon, but British, given form, and legitimately funny editing. I love this channel.

[@AlizeeYeezy]

my friend Podel did the funny edits for this one! his channel is here - kzbin.info

[@charxthekoopaking5673]

@@AlizeeYeezyNoted! I've subbed!

[@Veryy_Victoriaa]

Edward calling Bella Lamb Chop should’ve been canon

[@TheAkimino]

The editing in these has gotten so so much more chaotic. I love it.

[@megansedlacek6229]

Like, I completely understand the whole depression arc Meyer was going for. Bella felt rejected and blindsided, so her entire being basically shut down. I’ve been through that myself. But the way she writes Bella, who has barely know Edward AT ALL, as incomplete without him is just unhealthy.

[@dudacampos6841]

Honestly, a romance between Bella and Alice would have been perfection, very Carmilla-esque vibes. But then again, a Mormon woman wrote this, so we just pretend fanfic is the actual book

[@mintghost]

ME: Stephanie, you know what would make a good book to write from this universe? Alice's origin story! STEPH M: No! Jacob and Reneseemeee!! ME: Stories about the Volturi? STEPH M: NO HOW ABOUT JACOB AND RENESEEME? ME: siigh...

[@RainWelsh]

“The wolves were the size of a horse” Alizee - “could anything that big even exist in our current atmosphere? Could anything that big move at any sort of speed?” Have you bought into Hbomberguy’s “horses aren’t real” narrative, mate? Because they exist, and are speedy. But yeah, their size was always weird to me. Like most werewolf media says the wolves are bigger than real ones because it’s all your human meat twisting into wolf form, and we’re usually a bit bigger/heavier than wolves. Still far-fetched, but a little bit of grounding in reality, like. Why the fuck these guys double in size as they shapeshift I don’t know. Smeyer gonna smey

[@queencleopatra007]

I thought it was "the wolves were the size of a house". At least thats how she read it lol

[@AlizeeYeezy]

@@queencleopatra007 yes, the wolves are described by the hikers as being as large as a house lol

[@ArmednotTriggered]

​@@AlizeeYeezy Horse makes more sense. If they were house-sized, why was the Eclipse fight even a thing? Me thinks Meyer kept in a typo.

[@manxie1897]

Bella was always such a frustrating character, and itgets worse somehow in eclipse. She's so insecure and codependent, I'm convinced Meyer has no idea how write characters convincingly.

[@Sam-im5tc]

10:55 Carlisle is canonically richer than Bruce Wayne/Batman and this was BEFORE THE CRYPTO BOOM. Carlisle would probably be the richest fictional character EVER by now.

[@iGotBulletproof-Insomnia]

You know, i actually had this same sort of messy behavior when I was a teenager. I had two friends who I like as friends but they both let me know at frequent turns that they were interested in me and didn't like that I spent time with the other person. I thought that as long as I kept them firmly in the friendzone it would be okay, but listening to your commentary on this video I'm sitting here like, damn, I was a messy child.

[@seleuf]

My eyebrow went up when Alizee criticised a fictional character for criticising a fictional character.

[@AlizeeYeezy]

the metaverse

[@littlelagoons]

Maybe I'm a Bella but when I'm madly in love with someone it takes me about 2 years to get over a breakup. Bad breakups have also nearly sent me to the psych ward, no joke I get really fucked up

[@racheljessie]

I actually wanted to date a guy like Edward back when I read these books. Now I see how awful and abusive he is

[@Sophia-cd2ci]

Maltesers with milk = not great Maltesers blended into milk as a milkshake = amazing (especially with chocolate ice cream) Coco pops with chocolate milk = fine, but not as nice as coco pops with regular milk

[@MissCaraMint]

I think what realy learned form this video is that I want malteasers.

[@AlizeeYeezy]

thank you for your service

[@wabbitwabbit98]

I don't think you understand how much I love you for this series Ali 😭

[@Everyyoueverymiau]

The chaos in the bookshelf is very relatable 😅

[@blo0dy_valent1ne]

It’s a great day when Alizee uploads 💜💜

[@khaosandlightliberation1980]

I forgot how judgmental Bella was… eugh. The more I listen to you read this over this week, the more I’m starting to be convinced that Stephanie Meyer is just Bella straight up. “Blank slate for teens to imprint onto” absolutely, but she really sprinkles way too many obvious personal opinions (religious, judgmental, ect) that it just makes one wonder. Especially with her whole “this is my personal dream project” or whatever she said when making the movies.

[@jirarara669]

Even Robert Pattinson said that he thought Bella was just an insert for Meyer in an interview when he was reading the book lmao

[@midnighthour733]

"take her out and old yeller her" is the best laugh I've had in a while thanks!!! I love these books, don't know why because I do see how bad they are and I make my own jokes about them (when they finally have sex imagine Bella using a popsicle). Your reading of them is so funny and snarky it makes them more fun!

[@armythecat]

This video has such chaotic energy even for Alizee's standards,but honestly I am completely in for it, I LOVE IT!

[@heather_doestruecrime]

“Jasper tries to do us a solid by violently attacking Bella -“ LMAO

[@breezy3392]

"True love is not the absence of having a backbone" YES!!!

[@xoannaox89]

14:34 "Yeah it's like a cows opinion, it doesn't matter, just moo." I caught that Friends reference, haha.

[@teenyterrestrial6339]

Having read these as a preteen, I really don't remember Bella being such a little shit! I completely blocked half of this especially that threat to Charlie at the end. Thank you for suffering through this mess for our entertainment, i know the next is only worse

[@archistic1]

If a papercut sends them over the edge, how do they handle being around people during their menstrual cycle?

[@lindala2602]

Meybe they are all so christian and clean that they don't menstuate

[@Melissa-sx9vh]

Smeyer said that period blood to vampires was like rotten food to humans. Yes, that's nice...

[@lindala2602]

@@Melissa-sx9vh why am i not suprised...

[@katenz100]

@@Melissa-sx9vh of course. Her rationale is bulletproof throughout the series. I'm not gonna lie there's a part of me that's low key offended. Not that I would prefer a vampire to munch on my vadge. But most men already think women are insane every time they mention the dreaded p word.

[@BooksandBuns]

@@Melissa-sx9vh Ironic, seeing as period blood would be technically the purest form of blood (scientifically speaking) a vampire could get their hands on. There's even a vampire game out there (can't remember the name) where you drink outta someone's coochie to heal yourself (not onscreen tho). But I'm not surprised a mormon author has views like *this,* xtians always label everything a woman does as from the devil

[@stewartann816]

Finally yes! Snarky british reviews really add some spice to my workday 🙏

[@lucaleone4331]

-I will say tho, the fake out of Bella thinking shes talking to her Gran but shes really looking in the mirror was a pretty good desplay of her fears. (even tho it is a stupid reason) but nice way to show it. -"Girls are more mature than boys at Bella's age" Girls also loved Twilight and thought it was a perfect romance at that same age. Yep, ,seems like everyone is pretty dumb as teenagers. Who would have thought. Looking forward to Eclipse!

[@kikivf4nr]

HELL YES!!!!!!! edit: just saw the length of this video. GO GIRL GIVE US EVERYTHING

[@shaybribri]

All the werewolves are shown as native American so it lowkey feels a little racist how Bella immediately thinks they’re murderers

[@shanicek5188]

Oh yeah it's definitely racism

[@alma-zl9zt]

A mormon author being racist to Native Americans? Never heard of that before...

[@breezy3392]

It's also Bella being a complete moron since she knows that Victoria, a vicious bloodthirsty vampire, is around

[@honestkyn718]

Oh yes all of them are native Americans. Of a real life tribe in the area. The racism is intentional

[@SpecialInterestShow]

Ikr?

[@DeathbyPixels]

As a non-twilight fan, and someone who never WAS a twilight fan, I should NOT be as excited for videos like this as I am.

[@BooksandBuns]

I've never read any of the books, or even watched the movies. I somehow managed to avoid all of the cultural influence left behind by Twilight, but I still adore Aleezee tearing these poor excuses for novels down

[@Animerulespeople]

@@BooksandBuns same lol

[@kurtfabulous]

OH MY GOD!! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOUUUUU!! FINALLY!! I LOVEEEEE your long book analysis videos. I swear I’ve watched each one like 10 times!! And I’m not exaggerating 😳😳😳 keep up with the long videos ❤️(if you could somehow muscle reading more of house of night I would very much appreciate to watch you drag zoey through the mud)❤️

[@AlizeeYeezy]

book 2 HoN is next!

[@DellenoftheDell]

I really should dearly thank Stephanie for implanting such toxic standards for relationships in my head 🙃 Thank you for putting yourself through this suffering for our entertainment. It’s really something that you’re still (semi) sane.

[@piccolofan24]

I feel like Bella’s reactions towards Edward make more sense if one interprets her attraction to him to not be a crush but an intense, supernaturally brought on obsession. After watching Dominic Noble’s take on the series it seems the most logical and explains a lot. She can’t explain what she likes about him and goes catatonic when he’s gone. It sounds like addiction and severe withdrawal that never gets better. The issue is that the book seems aware that Bella’s feelings towards Edward aren’t healthy (Belle acknowledges the fact that she would accept Eddie as a murderer of innocents as irrational at the very least), but the book seems to think that it being this unhealthy, uncontrollable mess where neither person is all that fond of or happy with each other is a sign of strong romantic love and destiny. It’s… strange.

[@boglarkacsanedinefabian9039]

I watched Noble's video too. The only problem with this is that she did the same for Jacob too. Of corse she tried to persuade him, but would have exepted him even if she weren't successful. It is awful.

[@heartabduction]

Oh thank goodness, for some reason I've been heavily obsessed with your twilight and 50 shades videos. You're just too funny with these lmao

[@sarasgonzalezg]

You make twilight a lot more entertaining than the books and the movies 😂

[@lilrhia]

"He needs to take her round the back and ol' yeller her" would have saved us all a lot of suffering

[@yogadork_namaste]

I loved it when you went off on the tangent about oxygen now v the triassic period. Total mood, glad you kept it in.

[@cayleece7890]

I know I'm super late but I'm a huge Jazz fan and I was so pleased to hear the song *"How High the Moon"* at 8:34. Super cool to hear Jazz out in the wild!!!

[@gingerjessietalks7685]

The thing is, I personally don't hate Stephanie Meyers portrayal of trauma. If Bella had ptsd from the experiences of the previous book, that would make sense. But nah, it's because her boyfriend dumped her.

[@KristenReviews]

If Edward or Arlo were able to read Bella’s mind, they would just hear elevator music 24/7.

[@Pandachu123]

*(Mii Maker theme intensifies)*

[@iammimib]

I don’t know if it’s a cultural thing or not, but where I grew up, if someone bought you a gift and you did the (faux) humility act as heavily as Bella does, you’d offend them pretty badly ajshahshajs

[@poxana2891]

Will I stay up to watch this instead of going to bed early? Yes. Yes, I will.

[@mekaylarobles]

“…you never see Jacob sniffing around Edwards marble ballsack…” IM WHEEZING

[@megjane2118]

plz keep this series going. I've begun the ritual of listening to your review, then watching the movies and it is a guilty pleasure I am not ready to give up!