i'm not like other girls, i'm worse!

[@sageee888]

it’s like she knew I just sat down to paint my nails

[@pelopppp]

me too queen 🙏

[@Yuval-up9cr]

NO WAIT SAME LMAO

[@littlefeeblefrogman]

I hope they turn out how you want them too! ❤❤

[@bellavoo]

I’m so creeped out I’m doing this too

[@bunnyfrosting1744]

I must know what colour(s) we’re going w/

[@karensmith8911]

Let’s remember there are multiple ways to be a woman. You can be a girls girl and not like pop music, you can be a girls girl and not like pumpkin spice. The thing that makes being a pick me being a pick me is putting down other women. It’s fine to be a tomboy, it’s fine to like rock music, it’s fine not to follow basic girl fashion trends. Just remember that you are not better than any other women because of that!

[@lifaen]

yes ✨✨✨✨✨

[@finnithehulk]

Was looking for a comment like this🔥🔥

[@Boredsinner0666]

I'm a girl who despises most pop music and is embarrassingly out of touch with everything relevant right now, but I can confidently say I adore other women and I would never put down another girl for liking pop

[@marionleblanc8580]

Also conformity and difference are value neutral. Just because most people do one thing doesn't mean it's bad, but it doesn't mean it's good either. I'm sure the Kardashians are very compelling entertainers, but they're terrible for so many reasons that I don't want to support them by giving them eyeball time, and that's the end of that.

[@lifaen]

@@marionleblanc8580 True

[@teresagreen-e]

she knows i just handed in an assignment, she's giving me a little treat

[@abee-dabee-doo9647]

Literally me right now 😂

[@ellahefner]

That’s so real like how did she know

[@laylamew1125]

Same 🙏

[@madilglenn]

DUDE YES

[@chrisevans9688]

Chris Evans yes you can right sex life and you can do that soon thanks you now that we can do it tomorrow night on Friday night

[@TheSkinnyZ]

I’m the opposite of a gatekeeper. I constantly wanna get my friends into my favorite artists. They usually aren’t receptive. 😂

[@Bamgeutcutiepie]

real! i hate when i passionately share and there is no interest 😄😭 feels so lonely.

[@caranook]

I’m pretty sure I drive people crazy trying to get them to like the stuff I like lmao

[@chrisatonin]

Me yelling at my friends to listen to Stray Kids be like:

[@Bamgeutcutiepie]

@@chrisatonin yesss

[@danielafacendo]

Girl put us on right here right now

[@actuallyspiderman09]

I can feel my frontal lobe developing

[@aesserafim585]

"NOOOO"

[@kaxidoscope]

I will continue to be in disbelief over how in sync my human experience has been to yours.

[@Beefareeno]

Dude SAME

[@MahimaChowdhury-lw8lv]

Same!! It was as if Nicole was narrating my life, that's so insane

[@moguls914]

For real 🥲

[@unassuminguser]

These were the words I couldn’t find so instead I said I love you lol

[@wakeupmakeup2386]

same!!! i have recently been diagnosed with OCD AND i literally word for word had this conversation with my friends recently

[@hnc_films]

It makes sense that so many of us don’t want to be put in the box of a stereotypical “woman.” When you grow up watching how people talk about women and how the media treats them, it’s no wonder we try to convince the world we are different and that we don’t deserve the same treatment. I didn’t want to be perceived the way society perceives women, but I’m in love with how we are embracing that being “like women” is actually a beautiful thing.

[@mar_7055]

we gotta define what a woman is rather than waiting for them to tell us. what we are is women

[@nikkireigns]

👏🏻

[@bekahswanson]

@@mar_7055this!!

[@natasha5553]

All these conversations are so cisnormative

[@hnc_films]

@@natasha5553 that’s a great point, I’m a cisgender white women so my comment doesn’t include the complexities of other demographics. I imagine that for a transwoman, it’s possible for her to want to be seen as a woman by society without wanting the misogyny that comes with it. Of course that’s not a blanket statement and it’s not my experience, but I can certainly see how these other perspective could change and add to the conversation

[@micaelabroughton]

"YOURE NOT DEEP FOR NOT LIKING POP MUSIC" *louder for the people in the back*

[@alfiegetsthemunchies77]

right and they act like their music taste is better, like no mate there’s shit music in every genre

[@Zectifin]

I'm a guy who used to hate pop music when I was younger and then when I was working at a pizza place with teens and they were listening to lady gaga and Kesha I realized how dumb I was and embraced my inner pop girlie. So now I joke that I have a really weird and wide range of musical interests, from Skinny Puppy to Kesha, lol.

[@neptuneblu1922]

Im not but I was bullied for it and I know a lot of other alt kids got bullied as a child thats why they double down on their music taste being the “better” one. It’s not the right way to cope but that’s why they do it not bc they are bad people or want to be deep

[@zombiezombiezombie]

i don't hate i'm just not gonna listen to it cus it's not my thing

[@franciscaguevara1611]

When I was in high school, you weren't cool if you didn't know underground bands, I was poor and was fed up with the bs... I liked all kinds of stuff and I didn't care about being cool, I assumed I'm not cool, I'm poor, so I'm just going to do what I want and it doesn't matter because once high school is over I'm probably not going to see these people anyway. I still kind of live this way...

[@scorpionbraid]

The truth is, being anyone is exhausting. It's always a performance even if it's genuinely who you are. Especially as women even when we have a genuine interest were grilled within an inch of our lives to prove it. And no matter how many right answers we give we're still considered posers. Every clique demands a total purity of purpose and thought in line with what everyone else deems appropriate. Even the alternative set that should in theory embody free thinking and individuation requires that purity. It's all just too fucking much.

[@LD-pv5ol]

This. I have noticed that there are now some women out there whose biggest fear is not being perceived as a girls girl, which leads them to involuntarily adapt elements that are considered feminine and girly by current standards, even if they don’t enjoy it (and even if they are not shaming others for it). As you already said, this still is a performance. Women are always being judged and put into boxes.

[@MyBiggestMistakeYet]

(wrote a whole ass coment and it didn't send, oh well) Aaaand we're back to that phase "be feminine, be skinny or be gone" as a society. It's great that we're finally agreeing on what's a girl's girl and supporting other girls, but we can forget that it's also a performance. I love being a mess, keeping my hair pink and fluffy and wearing baggy clothes and listening to my pop and shoegaze girlies (as I've been for more than a decade), so the e-girls phase made my live so much easier. People we're getting used to seing odd colors of hair paint and clothes that I like were easier to find. Now I'm going back to reality where security follows me through the mall, people treat me like trash. I won't judge women that chose to perform as basic, most of the time that's what you need to do if you want to get a job. Society is getting so obsessed over others people gender, sexuality and appearance that I'm starting to be afraid of even choosing the wrong color of lipstick and looking too different from everyone else. Perform however you want, just don't ignore stuff out of your bubble out of fear of getting labeled as anything. Men already does that to us, they label us as bitches. That's it, I'm going back into my cave, see ya girlies ✨

[@Calle.Hutch..]

@@scorpionbraid That’s because women aren’t usually viewed to have the same potential as men. If we do something that is out of our perceived potential it’s seen as fake or unnatural, and because there are so many negative traits associated with women, it will be perceived as one of those. It might sound extreme, but that’s because is a concept and it’s nuanced and complex. There are always exceptions, but it’s more of a subconscious conditioning in society that some people might not even know they have. I know I have some deep rooted beliefs that I have to actively account for when Im judging something.

[@WolfmanBrown]

As An Old and A Man, it feels weird seeing what I assumed was a way to avoid sexist, demeaning trends become (or be perceived as becoming) a sexist, demeaning trend.

[@elonk4life]

@@WolfmanBrown It is impossible as a woman to outrun the sexist, demeaning trend. Every time you try to reject the sexist, demeaning trend you end up accidentally participating in another sexist, demeaning trend. Also sexist, demeaning trend would be a good band name.

[@magspie04]

Ever since I saw the CollegeHumor sketch about defending basic things my whole mindset around “being basic” shifted. It sounds so dumb because it’s such a goofy sketch but it really did pull me out of the “I MUST be different than the other girls” mindset. I recommend it to anyone who hasn’t seen it!

[@inkietears]

NO THIS IS SO REAL. i had the exact same experience like that sketch changed my life a bit genuinely

[@hoorayitsjackie6166]

I just looked it up. If it’s the one where Brennan is the knight it was indeed great.

[@eveningstar2735]

COLLEGE HUMOR MENTIONED

[@curlyburp]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/mmLQk5WPgLWjfrssi=DoIcBP7vfs_R3_mc

[@s0mewhereinspace]

it's like she knew i needed a video to eat my dinner to

[@minnow311]

literally was just uploaded when i sat down to eat 🔥

[@dunkawunka2278]

It's like she knew you have a KZbin addiction that needs to be nourished during every single mild task or activity.

[@BeanBall-hp8ek]

@@dunkawunka2278 woah, chill, some people just like listening to something when they have dinner

[@dunkawunka2278]

@@BeanBall-hp8ek right because the dopamine from food isn't enough there needs to be a second form of stimulation. Sometimes it's good to take a step back and realize how out of touch we've become as humans and how much technology pulls us away from meditative thought. Humanity lost the narrative 😔 I'm being overly cynical but there is some truth there.

[@BeanBall-hp8ek]

@@dunkawunka2278 some people just don't like hearing their own chewing? it's a gross noise, and sometimes lunch is people's only time to catch up on media they like. you're not being cynical, just a touch rude

[@rubberlover666]

Welcome to being 25 and officially past the "my media consumption defines who I am and how I perceive others" stage of life. I'm serious. A lot of people never do!

[@Beefareeno]

This is healing that we’re all realizing this shit at the same time.. because it’s going to create SUCH positive waves for the girlies. Who run the world? GIRLS.

[@elonk4life]

Realizing this shit is not a finite task. It’s a continuous process. It’s like mint. Because the roots are so deep and dug in and complex and connected, this negativity and judgement for other women can grow back in a new place after you think you just killed it. and you just gotta keep an eye on the soil and keep ripping up the new shoots when you catch them sprouting. And then make mojitos or something idk.

[@ipissinlitterboxes]

Got diagnosed with autism at age 7 and only had brothers… it was a very easy mix that made me isolate myself from women entirely. They were so intimidating and I felt so weird knowing my interests didn’t align with theirs. What sucks is that I loved Tutus and the color pink but even at such a young age - I denied myself of anything feminine. I would go as far as only wear male clothes and seek refuge online. I’m so glad now that despite my somewhat different interests and awkward personality, I feel more comfortable being who I am. My entire room is pink now!! And I love exploring common interests with my female friends. I totally get what you mean, glad we got out of this weird mindset 🩷

[@moonchou7469]

omg same

[@autismandpodcast]

same!

[@carmabis432]

this has nothing to do with being a woman lmao. that *should* be the entire point of this video, but it seems like we're heavily backtracking into "it's okay to be feminine!" when the entire problem is women are 9/10 forced into femininity. You just described how you didn't conform to gender standards, felt ostracized, conformed, then felt more comfortable. There's nothing to brag about there, it's how the system works. edit: I was diagnosed with autism when i was 3/4 in germany. I didn't "run" from being feminine, being feminine is just an incredibly constricting mode of behavior; the tight clothing, don't move your legs too much in your skirt because you're flashing people even though you're 7, shave your entire body before you even know what youre adult body hair looks like to the point where your causing urself injuries (ingrown hairs, cuts, dry skin), wear make-up, dont wear too much make-up, wear this terrible fabric because it looks good, pretty hurts, always prioritize what you can do for others including being pleasing to the eye. There's a reason the rate of autistic girls being diagnosed with gender dysphoria has shot up the moment it became an official diagnosis, and it's not because autistic girls have a predisposition to "not want to be girls/women", it's because the social standards society puts on women are so batshit, it's much easier to say "i want be treated like a boy" and get told "that means you want to be one". Because it enforces that only good women and girls perform the feminine gender standard. You were running from the female gender standard because it's constricting and the moment you had a bit of freedom to express it how YOU wanted, it becomes easier. You have narrative control over how you exist as a person wholly yourself. You didn't hate women, you we're scared of what they were forced to be, because males in society have deemed that male is default and female is other.

[@violeta373]

i grew up with two older brothers who played video games and watched “guys” shows and i played with mostly males older than me online. i grew up desiring, i wish i could come up with a word stronger than desire, the validation of a man in order to feel secure. i would feel so weird when i would want to shop or buy makeup or nails and my hair as i grew older. then when i finally hit puberty it turned into my appearance also fitting the male validation, especially as a girl with a more curvy body than the other girls i went to school with. then, when i finally hit high school i had only girl friends, they liked makeup they liked different music than me and i finally felt comfortable to explore. and now i’m happy in my little mix of both. i only want to protect myself and other women, as a woman.

[@IsabelleSayed]

This!! I was diagnosed at 6 and have always felt like i sort of fit in but also the girls around me that I went to school with never included me and always made me feel like I was doing something wrong, despite me literally studying their body language so I could fit into their groups.

[@gh0stcup]

My 'not like other girls' phase definitely started because I was so severely bullied for being different. Looking back to little me and knowing it's because I'm queer and autistic and will always be and feel different to other people, I just want to give them a hug and a big teddy bear and tell them that while beauty isn't the be all and end all, I've found a partner who thinks I'm beautiful and tells me all the time, and that they shouldn't have to hide like Kylie Minogue's music because she produces bops for the gays and we need to worship her for that. (omg queen of run-on sentences over here)

[@coolchameleon21]

same

[@Zectifin]

I don't blame any young women for having an NLOG phase. nerdy guys complain about the popular jocks that picked on them all the time and everyone understands what they went through. weird, awkward, nerdy, and rebellious girls have the same problems, its just that teen media doesn't really act like its as much of an issue.

[@MeryCat-e5u]

you let the female hivemind gaslight you out of your individuality and make you believe there was something wrong and harmful about your natural bad reactions and natural tastes. I'm so sorry

[@hangryaboutwhatever]

As someone in her early 30s, this is a normal and genuinely healthy stage in life, one that shows you're putting in the work of listening to yourself, listening to women, and allowing yourself to grow and "just be". Learning to unlearn is one of the messier, but more rewarding parts of your midtwenties and I honestly am just so happy for you. I felt so much freer and happier when I started letting go of what I felt I "needed to be/not be" and just did what I wanted, provided it was chosen in kindness. You're on the road to a happier healthier phase of your life and its awesome to hear you talk about it so freely. So many women and young girlies NEED to hear this, to know and accept that they can be happy without having to worry about if they're coloring inside the lines. Life after 25 is a trip, so pack the right snacks and F*cking ENJOY IT, you can't go back after all. Proud of you, babes :)

[@onigirls]

I'm looking forward to my 30s, knowing myself better and making more art. I'm 25 right now and going through a really hard time, and your message really spoke to me. I'll do the best that I can, and trust that it gets better

[@mamalotus8988]

Look at us, deconstructing our internalized misogyny 💅🏻✨

[@Mimble_Doodles]

Society looks down on young girls and their interests, and laughs at them... then those same young girls see/hear this and decide they dont want to be like that. "I am not like other girls" is just something we think out of desperation for being laughed at for things we like, and then later we regret and fault ourselves for thinking like that while it is fully just because society still freaking sucks. I am so happy more and more girls/women are now embracing the things they like without shame and with so much pride now

[@karensmith8911]

It’s actually so healing hearing someone vocalize my thoughts about self perception.

[@TropicalLily9]

I, too, was one of those indie girls that thought I was so cool by liking Mac Demarco and the strokes before they were cool 😭😭 this is such a good talk

[@aR0ttenBANANA]

The Strokes before they were cool? Are you like 40 😂

[@beccag3619]

@@aR0ttenBANANA looooool

[@omarnoory]

@@aR0ttenBANANAyah I feel like I’m time traveling here. I loved the strokes when I was in high school in 2001 when “is this it” dropped (literally almost 40 lol)

[@MF-vc3vt]

it's like she knows I'm having difficulty studying for my cardiology exam 💔

[@sageee888]

I believe in you!! You got this🤓👍🌈

[@MF-vc3vt]

you don't know how much motivation this gives me!! thank u girlie 💅💞

[@laylah7986]

U got this queen

[@HikariHolic]

u got this!!! sending good vibes!

[@sofierang4661]

ur gonna pass with flying colors

[@mixeggy]

the power of your 25 year old brain now being fully devolved and realizing WHO CARES!! Love what you love, enjoy what you enjoy, like what you like

[@starchannel123]

Did you know some brain develop before 25? I have a feeling some people never develop correctly because there’s to many old women acting like bully teenagers

[@angellombness4371]

​@@starchannel123worse, those brains are working fully exactly how they toxicly trained them. They think they are clever by the years of practicing clouding their integrity. Trust building is a practice, they never even learned to trust themselves. 😱 Do not underestimate some of their ruthlessness.

[@dreamxredits]

I’m not like other girls, I collect organs ❤️

[@looseleaflyra]

see i know you're joking but im watching this while sitting inches from my collection of wet specimen

[@weirdhousewivesclub]

​@@looseleaflyraI'm not sitting near mine at the moment but same 😂

[@Love-jr7rf]

Which one's your fav?

[@dreamxredits]

@@Love-jr7rf intestines 😍

[@Staredstar]

​@@dreamxredits NO WAY SAME 😍😍😍😍

[@sockenfresserin]

It‘s like she knows it‘s the middle of the night in Europe and I can‘t sleep

[@Wonderlandish]

Insomniac high five 😭

[@EllenBiesmans]

I used her video too to fall asleep at 6 am ( I’m from Belgium) 🤚🏼

[@hilium3000]

Why do do we have to go to one extreme to another? It’s ok to not like popular stuff, just as It’s ok to love popular stuff. Just make sure you are listening to your own mind. Not pretending to something that you are not by peer pressure. Also try every before claiming that you don’t like something.

[@Zenith-d3s]

Unveiling Your Hidden Potential by Bruce Thornwood(thank me later)

[@layalaziz4309]

"i'm gonna close my eyes at all the noah schnapp scenes" is the realest thing

[@dogsindriveways7478]

I’m out of the loop what’s the lore

[@m_217]

​@@dogsindriveways7478 Noah Schnapp is a zionist

[@TtimeXP]

​@@dogsindriveways7478he's an out loud Z1on1st and spread a lot of "Z1on1sm is s3xy" garbage 🤢 Along with another actor in the show, but he's annoying in the show anyways (made to be hated) so feelings kinda stay the same.

[@wassimdow9360]

@@dogsindriveways7478he’s openly a z!ionist and said that z!onism is sexy and basically a piece of sh!t

[@nadyaferreira1470]

@@dogsindriveways7478 he's a raging zionist and has been talking about Palestinians in an evil light.

[@s.b.doodles7625]

This year has been my year of reclaiming my basic girly interests too! I'm growing out my hair first for the first time since literal middle school and I love it! I also have realized that I love basic makeup and I love pop music even more! Also this year has been amazing for me because things that I have liked for a long time that were niche (specifically JellyCats and Calico Critters) are so popular now so I can talk to other people about them and it's amazing Edit was literally just that I forgot a word in comment (hair) lol, sorry girlies

[@moonlightorbs]

KAVEH PFP

[@dunkawunka2278]

Either way your mind is still being controlled on how to think and act, the feeling of self liberty is an illusion given to you by others telling you how to think, not inherently a bad thing because of the social nature in humans we are inclined to follow trends in order to fit in, technically you really can't be yourself because it will always be an ideological formation from another mind. Only way to solve this problem is to go into the woods naked and talk to God through earths nature.

[@HikariHolic]

same with growing my hair out! im super excited to use hair accessories everyone else uses!

[@ahsjdjsx]

Nicole, I don’t know if you’ll see this, but I’ve only been watching you for about a month and I’m absolutely obsessed with your content. I watch a lot of commentary and podcast-style videos, but watching your videos feels like listening to a good friend. I see so much of myself in you, and listening to your views and experiences has changed me so much. You’re amazing❤

[@Bou_Diran]

As a relatively recently out trans woman it honestly helps a lot to know that cis women feel a lot of these same insecurities and desire to be accepted into the community. I'm always diving into new things headfirst and truly enjoy them but sometimes I worry that I'll be perceived as trying to hard to be "one of the girls" and not seeming genuine. That on top of just being perceived at all, everyday I scrutinize myself down to even where I decide to part my hair and have to fight with the balancing act of trying to be authentic and trying to fit myself into a particular box that I don't fully understand yet. Thanks for being so open and honest with this stuff, its nice to process it along with someone like you

[@lesaubergines]

you’re not the same as a cis woman sorry

[@djpenis20]

it honestly helps a lot to know that cis women feel a lot of these same insecu- ACK

[@carmabis432]

okay then stop trying to fit into the box. you feel this way because it will never be enough, there will never be enough validation to prove that you're something you're not, and trying to endlessly shoot for this goal is the same issue women have when trying to perfectly uphold feminine gender standards to potentially avoid any backlash of not being a "good enough" woman. admitting the insecurity exists does not validate the drive to tick enough boxes to "remove" the insecurity, all it does is admit that there's an unhealthy standard being enforced on what "being a woman" is.

[@StormSought]

Yeah honestly I think not feeling like you're being a woman right it like you even CAN be is a huge part of being a woman even for cis women, feeling like you can't get your makeup or your hair right, and then wondering if you're wrong for when caring about that, etc etc etc, but idk, I don't know a lot of cis people 💀 it certainly has been for me

[@KelseeDrizzy]

I mean good for you, but you’ll never know what it’s like to be a girl in middle school trying to figure out who she is in this big ass world where it feels like everyone is looking down at you and want to know your sexuality even though you’ve never thought about liking boys or girls like that. I think that period of time for women is worse than being trans in 2024.

[@avesaknight]

i love being the most amazing insufferable person in a room

[@angellombness4371]

With awareness 😂

[@professionalpainthuffer]

It's like she knew I'm supposed to be emailing therapists right now

[@LaylaLivreKilson]

It's absolutely insane how much my mindset has shifted from when I was a child, I'm so much more open to things, i still don't love everything popular but i don't actively hate on people anymore for liking something that i thought was too popular for me to like. I LOVE this video thank you nicole!

[@mermaidmadsdy]

Nicole, I come across your videos every now and then. I just watched your Chappell Roan deep dive and I'm SO happy that we women are allowing ourselves to be "basic" and have fun again! I was in therapy for a few years (I'm finally at a space where my meds are working so I can do the work too) and I'm actually at peace with myself and who I am. I used to HATE being perceived because "am I cool?" " am I pretty?" etc etc etc. Now? I have fun and idc how I look or what people think. Truly. Like just yesterday a customer yelled at me at my retail job over something that was company policy and I stood my ground. Even 6 months ago, I would've cried, internalized it, and beat myself up. But I stood my ground and felt *confident*! I'm going to the grocery store with my headphones on and dancing in the aisles! I'm wearing silly outfits when I go out and complimenting other people so THEY can feel it too! I'll turn 26 in December and I 've never had such a love and appreciation for life! I am having FUN!

[@starz4vale]

Genuinely I am so in love with this video I relate to absolutely everything, I’m so glad that I can relate to this as a 16 year old girl instead of discovering this when I’m older and having to catch up on way more things, being a pre-teen/teen during quarantine I was super impressionable and I only saw videos talking abt how it was uncool to be basic and stopped myself from enjoying content and social media from girls I also didn’t watch stranger things because I thought it was so different, genuinely thank you sooo much for this video i love that I have someone who resonated with me

[@kikiblipblop3047]

Girl I’m the same I feel so blessed that I had this realization at roughly 16 and that now at 19 I know who I am or at least I’m at a point where I’m experimenting and learning and I’m open to things I was so closed off too. It took so much healing to get to this point but I’m so grateful I got there. I love being feminine. I love pretty. I love feeling cute. I love reading romance. I love dancing around my room liek a basic white bitch bc I am a basic white bitch. I love being liek other girls I love other girls

[@melmel1071]

Deadass probably best u didn’t watch stranger things when u were so young. It’s not the worst show for kids, but looking back I genuinely think you’re the “perfect” age for it now 😭😭

[@jjayjazz]

It’s like she knew I was sitting down to load a bowl

[@nutellaluvr]

omg me in a few hours

[@Zoe-lv1qu]

This makes me so happy because so many people watch her videos and so all these people can understand the internalised misogyny and educate themselves!! I love Nicole!! I love women! Yay!

[@FlyingWonderGirl]

I didn’t expect my younger self to get so called out. I’m happy that you’ve reached the “I like basic, because basic isn’t bad” stage of your personal growth. Occasionally you’ll still have to check yourself that you’re doing things for you, not how you want to be perceived

[@griffin1488]

love this video! one thing that frustrates me in all of this conversation is the mild yet persistent infantilization of women by referring to us as “girls”. there is certainly a space for this when it comes to minors and younger women and the experience of being a girl and growing up that way, but i think (as you said in the video) it is important to refer to us (and for US TO REFER TO OURSELVES!!!) as women. we are not girls, we are not immediately lesser for being women, and there is still plenty of fun and excitement to be associated with being a woman and identifying as such.

[@whimsichloe]

as a fellow PA bitch who was also very much not like other girls for most of my life so far, this video feels like i'm having a heartfelt and deep convo with my sister. i love being like everyone else and it was so refreshing hearing you talk about your continued journey through internalized misogyny. i remember listening to music by selena gomez, sabrina carpenter, and miley cyrus when they were all still with disney in the 2010s and thinking that i had to keep all of that a secret bc i wanted to be different so badly. their music slapped then and still does now. this video helped me process some of thoughts about my younger and current self and i very much thank you for that nicole

[@carmabis432]

Hating and shying away or aggressively attacking or being apathetic to the feminine gender standard is not "internalized misogyny". Internalized misogyny is refusing to discuss your period with anyone, especially with men around. It's considering women who don't conform to the feminine beauty standard as "dissidents" who strive to make themselves better than women who do conform. It's refusing to analyze the patriarchal structure that's been around for thousands of years and deem yourself above it because it makes you slightly uncomfortable to admit that maybe you were forced to drink the kool-aid, people are just lying to you that it's not kool-aid you're drinking. We're you okay admitting you listened to any other female artists at the time? Did you only admit listening to male artists? That might have been the bigger issue than "specifically these female artists because I wanted to be different from other girls who liked these female artists" which is a lot more of witnessing how women and girls were treated by males, the dominate sex in a patriarchy, for supporting other women or even for being considered less than because female artists are never as good as male artists in a patriarchal system as well. It's less "i want to be different" rather than "i dont want to be insulted for having feminine interests because males hate females and use their feminine interests as an excuse to deem them less than". That's the internalized misogyny.

[@GhostCatFromHell]

You can be supportive of other women and have a different taste in music, style, etc than them... you don't need to be a clone and erase all your unique traits to support someone. I also don't like to participate in gossiping and other shit that some women do, but I'll support them in their careers, choices and desires (when those don't harm someone else), because we women need to help each other to conquer space in this society. I work in a male dominant field and sometimes I have to face judgment and be underestimated by the men and ALSO by the few other women who work there, and some of them think they are the only exception in that environment, and all the other women are stupid and inefficient and etc... I just wish they could understand we should help each other.

[@just_some_donkus]

i loved this video

[@brooklynlutz1327]

NICOLE PLEASE THE NEW TWENTY ONE PILOTS ALBUM IS SO GOOD. seriously it’s been healing my soul getting back into them.

[@sj1251]

Retweet came here to say this🙏🙏

[@katier4143]

Yesss, I hope Nicole can still go to a show, she’d love it

[@freepalestine4everrr]

STOPP I JUST SAT DOWN YOU KNEW NICOLE U KNEW

[@currentlyeatingshit]

love ur user name

[@freepalestine4everrr]

@@currentlyeatingshit LOVE YOU

[@chelseashift]

I love ur profile pic and username!! 🇪🇬🇵🇸

[@stclairrr]

i want to add that femininity is often viewed societally as a “weakness,” and it feels especially apparent when we’re young! like, i personally went through a lot as a child and have a ptsd diagnosis to boot and ive always always ALWAYS loved women, but i rejected femininity because it was so synonymous with vulnerability. its easy to try and control some facet of yourself that doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things, like not like girly music or wearing pink, to try and feel in control of the rest of your life. sometimes its less about other girls and all about yourself :)

[@velevetyy]

yesss to me as a kid being a girl felt like such a punishment and ugh nobody should have to feel like that

[@YouEverSeeAFrogKid]

Moral of the story here folks is what makes you cool is liking what you like and not giving a shit what anyone else thinks of you for it. Im a grown ass man and I love Nikki Nasty what!

[@justagiraffe9434]

As Karina from drawfee once said/drew "Don't kill what makes you cringe, kill the part of you that cringes"

[@charliestar5557]

it’s like she knew i’m gonna clean every single thing in my house ❤

[@Sinthecity]

Hi I love this. I’ve had the same experience from the opposite end of the spectrum- my version of going back to myself is being different(not in a dIfFeReNt way but an organically odd way). I spent lockdown trying to be more ‘like other girls’ because I really am a girls girl and I felt like there was a preset that had to be applied to every aspect of me to make that work. Forcing myself to like things or not like things based on how other people perceive it. Moral of the story is that the only right way to be is the way that makes you happy & that no version of happy is better than another

[@Sinthecity]

Also I love that girls have universally united over autumn being our Super Bowl

[@visuallanguage]

That cat 😍 Also love the talk-vids, and isn't it wild to look back and realize previous misogyny?! I cringe, I cringe, but I also call it out because I didn't know, now I do. Same for pick-me behavior. Like other girls, or not, but not using that as a springboard to cater to men. Celebrating us all, as we are, whatever that is.

[@neptuneblu1922]

You can like Jelly Cats and Pop music and still be alternative, I’m glad everyone feels safe to like popular things again. I was bullied by my friends and had to pretend to like popular stuff in high school and I really hate how it’s automatically pick-me if you dont listen to pop. I remember Emily rat or whatever said something like ur misogynistic if you hate Taylor swift like no babes idk why it’s so one way or the other. Being mainstream is cool again but just cause you were pretending to like alt stuff doesn’t mean everyone is, and it needs to be talked about that everyone thinks ur trying to be different if you like something niche, WHEN YOU JUST LIKE A NICHE THING.

[@peachycbunny]

love love love this convo💕 i grew up saying i didn't like 90% of the things i absolutely love now and hating things i said i liked doing. it's called maturity 🙂‍↕️. growth, babes 🌱✨

[@kate4th149]

I've always had a very complicated relationship with my mother and this has manifested in my inability to maintain relationships with women. My "not like other girls" mindset in combination with my friendship with very toxic, sexist men in high school further isolated me. I brought a lot of this on myself because I put other women down to make myself feel better. I thoroughly regret this stage in my life and it's a shame that it took me until my twenties to prioritize my relationships with my fellow women. Younger women, don't do what I did!!!

[@america_grace]

all that being said, this is my thousandth time asking for a chronically online deep dive of VADA VADA

[@uhnada3178]

YES OMFG

[@opiumskittles]

its funny, when i was a kid i listened to heavy/dark/goth stuff, then when i was in college i tried being into indie music and mainstream clothes and styles, but ended up going back to my other tastes in my mid to late 20s and realized how i was trying to force myself into another mould. guess being in your early 20s is just your struggling and denying yourself what you really like era

[@be-g_y-do-cr_me]

i love all of your videos but i love as well that you discuss your struggles with ocd. i have it as well and it’s nice to see other people just having a conversation about it. it is definitely a diagnosis with a stigma…

[@milanw8257]

I was praying you would post cause I need entertainment while I do heartless curls

[@user-si8ze9pk8y]

i missed this woman spewing her thoughts and stream of consciousness. literally my fave videos

[@margo2682]

on a separate note, I started watching this video and it suddenly hit me that I just graduated university, got my first job and I realized that I started watching your videos my senior year of high school and it’s kind of crazy that I watched your channel throughout all these experiences. love u, Nicole 💕

[@GordonLawrence772]

I think that alot of the experiences us women experience are very similar and we've been denying ourselves the comfort of being like each other, my life has been so much better after surrounding myself by other women and enjoying basic thing even tho I'm very alternative

[@melissapisarski9799]

I'm going through the same transition, embracing popular things and WOMEN. But I will continue encouraging people to question, criticize, and analyze popular things. Just because it's popular, doesn't mean it's free from critique! Love it, revel in it, tap into the community. We should all be honest with ourselves about if/why we like or dislike things whether they're popular or not.

[@dflashbacks]

I have to say this, but your openness about your ocd is helping people. At least it helped me. I heavily related to a lot of what you describe, and I started obsessing about it, investigating, grieving for past me and my GAD diagnosis. I mentioned all my feelings and thoughts and research to my therapist and I’m getting evaluated, even tho we knew already I had obsessive traits. Without you, I would have continued live thinking it was just anxiety, obsessing to the point of not being able to move because I can’t let go of a thought, even when I rationally understand situations not being able to move on, feeling like I cared either too much or nothing at all about people, things, even life itself. Thank you, really thank you.

[@jellie5108]

i fully agree, i dont like putting down other gitls for what they like, thats wrong. but i feel like with embracing being basic theres also this weird narrative of demonizing being different coming back. i already see so many people shitting on others because they dont follow every little micro trend and liking every single popular media, theres nothing wrong with that. i just wish people could express themselves how they want without dumb assumptions being made. im not a pick me

[@torychurchmusic]

I was just talking to someone about this! I used to try to be hipster and mysterious or whatever and hate on trends just to hate on them. But really I was denying myself of things I secretly loved. I love pumpkin spice lattes, I love pop music, I love wearing a lot of the things that are considered in style at the moment. There are some trends I don’t like and there are edgy things I still like. But it’s all about not denying yourself of things you love just because they’re mainstream/popular out of fear of being “basic.”

[@mariaisabelad]

this is why you're thee yapstress in chief!! i am so so happy this video exists. i spent so long being embarassed of liking popular things and downplaying my joy and passion for stuff to avoid getting made fun of. it's no use to drain your sparkle just so u can look cool in front of someone who's opinion does not matter. love things as loudly and basically as you want and don't let anyone shame you!! ❤❤

[@ilovepie76]

Like it’s actually blowing my mind how much I relate this wow.

[@theshel0000]

Last fall I did the “let’s just see about Folklore and Evermore” thing. I couldn’t believe that I was sleeping on TS for so long

[@marlenebauckhage]

Saame a little over a year i listened to folklore and evermove for the first time and got back into ts. I loved her so much when i was a kid but stopped listening because she got "too popular". I went to the eras tour last year and oh my god greatest thing ever!

[@1NataliaHellen]

first of all: YOUR HAIR IS GORRRRRRRRGEOUS

[@miavjames]

Thank u for this!! So important to remember they convince us we need to be different than other girls so that we don’t get to enjoy things as a community or have each others support

[@leilanidrennan1767]

I'm in by "be myself and put myself first" era, it's very healing especially as an audhd woman. Also I am obsessed with chappel roan in general

[@ileeanaGee]

Trying to think back, for me, I think it stems that, “basic” came from the popular girls, and they weren’t very nice to other girls outside their group, so to “rebel,” I chose to do the opposite, and so being different, being “cool” is what I was actively striving for, that has followed me into my 30’s! Anyway, I share your sentiments!! ❤❤

[@Lordschmitt]

THIS VIDEO RIGHT HEEERE?! It's like you're speaking directly from my soul. I used to be that girl "i don't like other girls, too much drama" hello, it's me, i'm the problem (insecure af) and I've been embracing girlhood and girlfriends and girls music and guess what, I fucking love pop music. and WHO CAAARES if everyone else likes it? Isn't that the point of good music or good anything really, that you like it and shouldn't be ashamed about it. Love being who my teenage self wanted to be and not be a girl hater.

[@Caroline-lu9ht]

i appreciate this video so much it makes me feel a lot less alone processing behaviors from my past and current self ❤ you’re helping more people than you know!

[@ooshwiggity]

I love girls. Women are amazing. I love talking to them, listening to them talk, learning about their hobbies, relating and feeling relatable. It FEELS good to be around women. And I love that y'all dont judge me for not having a skincare routine, for not having a tv because the only thing i want to watch are those 5 movies and BBCs Pride and Prejudice from 2005. I'm grateful that you understand that I love you even if I'm so busy that i spend 5 minutes of every lunchbreak under my desk crying and that when i say "hey, lets get together Sunday for brunch" we all just show up and all agree that work talk is limited to 5 sentences each. Y'all are amazing

[@aquaruisangel]

YEEEEESSSSSS Nicole lol As a trans person I genuinely felt I had to “give myself permission” to have fun in all aspects of “gender” lol but I loved this and felt this video

[@amberlejones]

🫶🏻

[@scp871.]

i think it’s also important to mention subcultures within music, countercultures, and the historical context behind “alternative” subgenres. Pop music and mainstream music have always appealed to a broad audience, grunge rock was considered mainstream in the 90s, just in general, so much more could have been brought into the conversation than just “i used to be so mysterious and now im a girls girl consuming girls girl media”. Unfortunately music genres aren’t just about gender, it is so much more intersectional than that.

[@doebrownieeyes]

your videos are a big comfort ugh

[@MadisonPoitras-sd6cn]

MY QUEEN HAS SPOKE ….. my peasant self must answer to QUEEN NASTY all hail🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️

[@RubyMelodyMusic]

I think this is happening to a lot of women right now in this era of hyper fem, hyper pop but I also think this happens in our mid 20s because the “all my favorite artists are men” to “do I even listen to men anymore?” Thing is sooooo real. A coworker who is in her early 20s said she was not interested in liking the thing everyone else is obsessed with the day I told her I finally gave Chappell Roan my full attention and was all the way hooked. And I just thought, hopefully that changes in a couple years. Really good talk, I loved it. It is very “I feel so much younger now” - Miley Cyrus

[@rabbitqueen7075]

Loved this video

[@Princess.McBetch]

I'm not just a girls girl but a people person lol there are so many people out there that need support regardless of identity. I relate to being nervous around other women, i feel like i am somehow clocked as a freak who is perceived as a creep and outsider rather than just..a cis woman. I feel so out of place and i don't even know why, but i try to remember it is all my own issue and not anyone else's problem

[@msolodoloo]

i love these videos. you talk so eloquently and you somehow say exactly what i'm thinking or feeling it's weird life you're in my brain thank you for helping me feel comfortable in it

[@maqima]

honestly I desperately want to be like the other girls, but I've always felt inadequate

[@druwu1932]

this made me feel more secure in listening to ariana grande while i walk to work this morning, girlhood is wonderful! i can like whatever i want!

[@Zeno_wood]

8:54 this children singing is ms yoko ono 😭

[@natalyaatkinson6556]

😭😭😭

[@TheHopefulFae]

IT IS?? 😭

[@yourbestiezaria]

this is actually insane, that line from lie to girls has been stuck in my head all day. the universe sent me here fr.

[@tinanana-]

She knows I'm trying to procrastinate studying for my exam 🛐🛐

[@Scarlet8Sage]

Girl, you can like whatever you like, just don’t put down other women for liking what they like. Everyone is on their own journey in feminism. It’s ok to be a girl’s girl, it’s ok to be a loner, it’s ok to only have female friends, it’s ok to only have male friends, it’s ok to love pink, to love black, to love every version of the spectrum that is you and to extend that love outward to others who are different from you.

[@phoebeeilishdacus]

Nicole you’re so real for this

[@gelatobenne4342]

The problem with this is that people who actually have different tastes will get shit on for not being normies and then the cycle repeats itself.

[@annathething9797]

Omg thank you Nicole for the video I will fall asleep to tonight 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

[@Steph-wf2eg]

Love the video, everyone has a period of "I'm too cool for this" and the realization that it is the most cool to be yourself and get excited about things you like whether it's "trendy" or not

[@maythompsonn]

I’ve been a fan since the video where you cut your bangs! 🫶

[@petersparkers9775]

i relate so much to your experience of wanting to be different! honestly after i came to terms with my identity as a lesbian, i started to embrace being a girl and liking things other girls do! I am so happy you made this video! Thank you Ms. Nasty

[@jimmy_dawson]

About that "war is over" trend... I'm pretty sure most women that do it, just straight up hate different people. A lot of them don't even use their own photos in the "alt" phase part. They often do it just so other people comment gross (and often homophobic) stuff under their tiktoks. It really isn't about them becoming themselves but rahter an excuse to hate on others

[@rebekahlawing8020]

I love these sit down talking videos. I watched the last one about body image like 5 times bc it resonated with me sooo hard. Same with this one, I was also a ‘not like other girls’ girl until I found a community of women that inspired me to find the fun in ‘basic’ things and I realized enjoying stuff shouldn’t feel like a task. All I know is if Nicole thinks something is cool, then it’s definitely cool 😎

[@legendofayda]

“Gonna close my eyes during all the Noah Schnapp scenes” 😂😂

[@sarahroman251]

love u. also hearing u talk about 21p and calling it cringe while i have a 21p tattoo and just came back from their concert…humbling. i 1000% recommend their new album clancy, genuinely an incredible and catchy album. blurryface vibes asf

[@Witchy-87]

My God this is so relatable! The internalized misogyny that prevented me from enjoying girly things, music and so much more.

[@alexisdaponte9534]

I never comment but just wanted to say thank you for sharing your OCD things I got officially diagnosed after seeing your last OCD video about symptoms because I didn't know I had it until or there was even a possibility even though it runs in my direct bloodline I didn't see it in myself as they mainly experience the germ and counting the "mainstream stereotype OCD" I didn't know what I was experiencing was also OCD... so long story short thank you