Finally Revealing My Secret | NikkieTutorials: Layers Of Me

After being blackmailed, Nikkie takes control as she prepares for her powerful coming out video, but behind the scenes she is battling with telling her closest friend the truth.
0:00 My New Place
1:42 My Secret Revealed
4:02 Making My Announcement
7:22 The Aftermath
11:02 The Love
13:35 Being The Change
15:53 Hanging With Lauren
17:18 Looking Forward

[@wendyrucker2995]

I hate that she feels like she has to forgive herself for not telling the world. She came to KZbin to teach us about makeup. That’s what she did.

[@Aurora-kq7bo]

This🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

[@thatbeaatcch9884]

Amazingly said!

[@blairg8171]

Exactly we love her for her she didn’t owe anyone anything

[@bombaway2029]

The most vulnerable life is not you but the smallest human. Bought into the victimhood is delusional.

[@dude4054]

Exactly. The fact that she thinks she owes a bunch of strangers an apology is so sad. It’s her life and she doesn’t owe anybody anything.

[@Newest_editsjustbecause]

It literally didn't make me look at you any differently... except maybe thinking that you're even more of a badass for all of the resilience you've shown.

[@tragic6197]

Exactly!

[@georgiakennedy2287]

Completely agree ❤️❤️

[@PeaceTwinkler]

Yeah same. This just made me realize that whenever she talked about bullying in high school it was obviously ten times more. So proud of this girl.

[@mandypdx]

🙏🙏🙏

[@youngtattooart2438]

I completely forget every time that she is trans, until she mentions it. That means that I never doubt her femininity or recognized it in anyway by myself. For me she is just Nikkie, nothing has changed.

[@rorichacon6094]

Yeah I seriously just see her as Nikki Tutorials, queen of makeup. I had no idea she was trans. On an unrelated note, why is it that gays/drag queens/lgbtq+ people all seem to have been blessed with the best style and artistry skills? Lol its true

[@WeeNessieMonster4085]

@@rorichacon6094 Queer person here and yes I'm a artist but I'd say my style is at best questionable 😂

[@Phoenix-tq8lt]

Tbh she looks kinda manly to me

[@cassie8844]

define femininity

[@chelseamag3125]

I’m not trans but as an SA survivor I relate so hard to the idea of “when people look at me I feel like they know” and it’s the worst, scariest feeling in the world. And I just wanna say how much I look up to you and always have and how much these videos have helped me. Thank you Nikkie 🤍

[@fish10.1]

I can relate to that, as an S.A survivor as well..

[@kaitlinmckenzie2382]

It makes me sad that she keeps saying she lied ! There was no lie, she doesn’t have to tell a bunch of strangers on the internet anything about her personal life , she came to KZbin to share her love of makeup , not anything else

[@dozr1549]

Exactly ❣️

[@kerstinnilsson9968]

100%

[@a.froman1419]

THIS THIS THIS.

[@noura1042]

THIS!

[@diannecarter7889]

This. It's not a lie, not even by omission. If she doesn't talk about it, it's other people's problem if they assume things and then feel betrayed/confused/offended... And no one expects cis KZbinrs to disclose their cis-ness either.

[@Eunmi24]

When she came out as trans, it never changed how I think of her. She’s still Nikkie.

[@mycatisjudgingyou]

That's how I felt about her too. She's always been Nikkie and she will always be Nikkie ♥

[@shortnsour]

I still forget sometimes. When she teases an announcement I start thinking she's pregnant 🙈

[@jul9484]

I was wacthing her for so long and I didn't wacth the coming out video so I had no idea that she was trans but when I found out I was like ok but she is still the nikkie I know

[@sarahlouise6507]

So sweet were all human and it doesnt matter about gender lgbt disabled we dont have to hude it express yourself and be you theres only one you love yourself your worth it

[@ashleyhall1375]

FEEL THE SAME EXACT WAY!!!!!!!!

[@diana1604]

What an incredible mother she has, what an amazing friend she has and what a courage this girl has to speak up about her secret in public.Nikkie, you are a true inspiration.Thank you for existing

[@SamK31]

The way I view her did change after finding out. I realized she’s so much stronger than I ever knew. It made me appreciate her all the more. She’s beautiful inside and out.

[@Victoria-ls8hd]

The only time I felt betrayed by her was when I found out she wasn’t a natural born English speaker 😂😂😂

[@dina4199]

same!!!😂✋ i didnt even notice both gosh

[@Mia-ex6wc]

same lmao

[@Elielielururu]

The entitlement

[@Victoria-ls8hd]

Alondra Bocanegra i am sorry I have never been to the Netherlands or come across someone who speaks Dutch. I will do better

[@love23music1]

Me too

[@vhuhwavhomaumela8925]

It's so sad that she feels like she lied to the world. She did not owe us her story, she still doesn't owe us anything. It was her story to tell. I wish she had been given the chance to tell her story at her own time and pace. It's been a year and I'm still mad 😡

[@etorresrodz]

It broke my heart a little too, the fact that she was so preoccupied about not disclosing her PRIVATE and PERSONAL past to people like... girl, that's your survival, no need to apologize. She's an amazing woman, talented, and warm. She's Nikkie, period. Nothing else matters ♥️

[@L-M-O-1]

Get over yourself

[@Wisskala]

@@L-M-O-1 what-

[@mooglare]

@@L-M-O-1 shut up transphobe

[@sailorsenshi4504]

She didn’t lie about anything.

[@kaitlinb.9377]

You never lied about being a woman or a girl. You were a little girl in school & you are a woman now. How we saw you is who you ALWAYS were. A beautiful woman.

[@sarahavery9137]

She literally has the mother she NEEDS how beautiful omfg that entire family is just beautiful

[@jade7587]

I literally don’t see Nikki as any different since her coming out.

[@colorbar.s]

I still see her as the inspiring makeup girl from my country that I don't really watch but appreciate nonetheless

[@nataschagc]

That's because she isn't different. She is still the same. ❤

[@user-nv4gh2zw2u]

Same

[@m3talhe4d72]

the only way I see her different is that she's my hero more than ever because I never knew of any trans KZbinrs when I first came out

[@ameliachaves8449]

Same

[@mcanna5115]

I have never never felt that she lied, she was only keeping her private life private, she doesnt have the obligation to share every single detail of her life

[@whisperywind8768]

Exactly

[@morningstarkeke]

I remember, actually remember the day, that Nikkie came out to us. I felt so proud of her. I felt scared. I also remember thinking, how did she feel after her show?! To have to wait for the backlash, the hate, the love, the confusion is something else entirely. I really appreciate Nikkie in any way, any shape or form….or cover.

[@missrobinhoodie]

„It didn’t feel like a lie because the first thing I felt was your pain“ - that was exactly my reaction. We don’t have to talk about our pain but it has the potential to bring us closer together.

[@sweetisaduff]

Her mom is truly something else, the world wouldn’t have nikkie if it wasn’t for her!

[@AFFTFOMSICHTS]

Underrated comment

[@fariaritu]

Agreed.

[@valeriayanezbarros4640]

YESSSSS! We love mammatutorials!

[@andrewbaumann7730]

Stan her mom. She is so kind and nothing but supportive!!!!

[@DanaBonn]

Just goes to show what having supportive parents can mean.

[@natya3121]

Honestly. The world doesn’t deserve mama tutorials She is the epitome of unconditional motherly love

[@cleverfeather777]

She’s the best! Everyone deserves unconditional motherly love ❤️

[@zainabimad3299]

@@cleverfeather777 but not everyone receives it 😥😣😭

[@user-nv4gh2zw2u]

Every LGBTQ kid's dream parent

[@servetacikgoz8018]

@@zainabimad3299 mm m m M m M m m m M

[@AammaK]

absolutely, a true example

[@alicialouise8452]

You didn't lie! You were yourself. No one needs to know about your past unless you want them to. Keep being yourself girl, shine brightly! :)

[@annamarievargas291]

Whaaaaaat ?

[@nonsensetalk8953]

Well,I think her fiance needed to know,but she didn't tell him until she was forced to come out.

[@genesis_888]

“Not the power of makeup, but the power of ME” amen beautiful! That is all you need! Xoxo

[@emilyclaudio1421]

Mama tutorials is one of the most bravest, strongest, wisest women. A true testament to what a mother would be. She would do anything to see her daughter happy.

[@chrisg64]

YES! I’m a new mother and I hope to be as encouraging and strong as this woman was for her children. I cried just hearing her mother speak. She’s so inspirational

[@tiff9318]

@@chrisg64 you’re going to be a great mother 💕💕💕

[@emilyclaudio1421]

@@chrisg64 if you can just relate to what she’s saying then i think you already took the first step! You’re doing great & congratulations!!!

[@choirkitty]

My son just turned 8 and I also strive to be a mom like mama t! :)

[@chrisg64]

@@emilyclaudio1421 aw thank you!!! Yes totally! I hope I’m the future children won’t have to “come out.” It’ll just be normal.

[@lukarunningwolf8135]

I hate whoever blackmailed her. This was none of our goddamned business. She should have been allowed to live her life as she was. She should have been allowed to have that peace.

[@nutmegvlogs4503]

I think it was the owners of toofaced

[@Bee-bee83]

@@nutmegvlogs4503 Oohh really

[@nutmegvlogs4503]

@Jazzarai Jackson they can be held accountable but they can't get fired as they are the ceo of toofaced so nothing will happen unfortunately but toofaced did get alot of backlash tho because it has been said before that their bullys 🥺

[@adrianahwasheree]

I think it was Ellen

[@nutmegvlogs4503]

@@adrianahwasheree it weren't Ellen nicki just said that Ellen's ignorant

[@victoriaemerald6677]

I’m not trans but I relate for other reasons to that feeling of “that’s pain in the past, surely I don’t have to trudge it up” and wanting so desperately to not be defined by your past. I don’t really watch makeup videos or Nikkie but she’s incredibly strong

[@bomberdils]

Duuude shes so young in that clip at 3:26 and ALREADY that eyeshadow is ✨ what a talent, what a passion. So happy for her. What a queen ❤

[@imakefoodhappen]

Honestly, i'm also proud of the Dutch. She said she was the "trans girl" at school. So everyone at school knew... Hundreds of people. And no one outed her during a decade of youtube fame. Yeah, one person tried to at the end but come on, if she was American, you know someone would have sold her story as soon as she gained a little bit of fame.

[@stephaniemossman7768]

I had the same thought and I hate how true it is...

[@Vyansya]

This is what im wondering too! I was like wait,no one outed her?? Not that I want to, but its cool they dont spread her gender

[@stephie6453]

Yess so true!

[@djadja88djadja22]

because in nl its something normal...

[@Sunflowers9191]

Yes I agree! It just shows most people genuinly don’t care and just let people Iive their lives.

[@SirSvotter]

You didn't lie to anyone, girl. You said from the very beginning "I'm Nikkie", a beautiful make-up-obsessed woman. You never lied about being a woman.

[@mandypdx]

I was looking for a comment like this. 🙌 💕💕

[@kristinemarsh7124]

Was literally about to write the same comment... Never lied, and Nikkie is still Nikkie 🤷same

[@clvrarose]

Facts!

[@infinite.formss]

So true

[@jadedmist]

A woman is a woman if they say they are! ❤️🏳️‍🌈

[@dcrawford9258]

Wow, what an amazing supportive mom she has ❤

[@conversationswithkat5710]

As a mother of a daughter in the community, I’m so proud of you and your family! Congratulations on all the hard work and rewarding moments that followed!!! Sending love ❤️

[@AmandaCakez]

Seeing you run after a rabbit was so adorable and pure

[@dominiqueryles2922]

Lmao that was my favorite part too

[@boogiebear3095]

I loved it 🥺

[@haileyg10]

SAME

[@bellarosenthall6216]

Yeah 😂

[@SableCatDog]

"A rabbit! I saw a rabbit!" Cutest moment of the entire show. I hope she gets to see them at her house!

[@anon555]

The fact that there are people in her school/community that knew but when she shot up to fame. Nobody went online and post about it for clout, like a “expose” video (or I just assumed since there’s nothing online till she announced it herself). That’s the level of respect that should be a norm.

[@DesiiPerv06]

Someone was blackmailing her

[@heatherelizabeth9008]

Unfortunately she didn't get to reveal this on HER terms, though she was glad.... her hand was forced.

[@nayomiohouo840]

@@DesiiPerv06 i think they’re saying it took a long time for that to happen, even though she’s been a big KZbin personality for years.

[@legendaryfails7529]

That's American society for you. Well, LA. They're always clawing to get a one up on you for no reason other than to see you fall or embarrassed.

[@nilzasuculentasnaholanda4565]

That's how Dutch society does, lives . LIVE AND LET LIVE❤

[@claudiavania4588]

Watching you grow and seeing you being able to express your true feelings of liberation, fear, doubt, love, all of it in your native Dutch was so special to me. It almost feel like I have known you for a long time. Thank you for being you, Nikki.

[@jamiebridges120]

Nikki had I never watched this I would of never known that you were born in the wrong cover! You are strikingly beautiful! I think I’m more shocked that your first language was not English! I’m over the moon proud of you for making this video! You are truly a gifted person and I wish for you always joy and happiness!

[@Sandra-Renea]

I agree with Nikkie keeping her secret. Why is it her responsibility to “come out”? We all have a past, and if it’s personal and it’s in the past why is it wrong to want to leave it there and just live your life?

[@NyxGamingAU]

Exactly. I don’t have to come out as non-trans, why should Nikkie ‘have to’ come out as trans? I’m proud of her for doing so, even though the world is so cruel xx

[@NurseSabrina79]

YES!!! I have personal things about my past that I don't share-why is one secret bigger or worse than another?? So proud of this woman!

[@Chris-np6zl]

ofcourse she doesn't have to. but it does help in being proud of who you are and standing up for trans rights ofcourse!

[@marlener6090]

Absolutely ❤

[@publikymage]

Absolutely! This is who she is now. She should share only what she feels like. We have a long way to go regarding respecting trans people.

[@FerretL0ver13]

Nikkie didn’t lie to anyone. She’s a woman, she always has been. She didn’t owe anyone the story of her past.

[@anamaytem]

EXACTLY!

[@shaindyheller706]

Exactly!!

[@wonderful2094]

Ana M;ayte Un;

[@huesitosdeazucar]

EXACTLY MY TOUGHTS!

[@danaritter34]

Agreed

[@pepperweinglass]

I have been following you for a while and really love all you do, but watching how vulnerable and honest you were makes me love you even more. Its so freeing to be your honest self! You go girl!!!

[@samanfersilyk]

i'm so happy her mom was supportive of her. a supportive mother is all a little girl needs.

[@Mik_Rose]

I just can’t believe how different her voice is between languages.

[@NoName-ro8km]

I know it’s not even similar

[@brynna77]

That happens to most people who speak 2 languages it’s really cute

[@JasS19362]

It’s mad how American she sounds when speaking English! (To someone from the UK) I guess it’s about what media you grew up consuming in English

[@michaeIaa]

what language is she speaking at the beginning

[@pacochihuahua77]

@@michaeIaa dutch

[@picatrixie]

"I just let my child do whatever it was that made her happy." "have you felt anger?" "not a second." istg the people surrounding Nikkie are everything I aspire the people around me to be someday. Such high emotional intelligence compared to the average human.

[@aathenaiz6151]

this!!!!!!

[@cptnboo6573]

Be that person for the people in your life! I’ve found that that’s the best method to building that circle of people :)

[@michelleallende3899]

You are an amazing person

[@pm2886]

Incredibly irresponsible parenting. Says more about the adult's desire to avoid the hard yards, than anything at all about love.

[@cptnboo6573]

@@pm2886 Treating your child like a person is not irresponsible.

[@micaelamarquez4060]

This is the first time I heard your story because I’ve never been a gossip person and because I don’t care about tags at all so when you came out I thought “awesome” and kept watching your videos like nothing happened; but now actually listening to it is heart touching, you’re such a wonderful and bright woman and that’s why I’ve always love to see your channel and your progress as a professional.. you’re amazing and you don’t stop surprising me with your energy, your light. We don’t even know each other, we will never meet probably and it’s wonderful to feel like you want to see a completely stranger growing, progressing; that’s the feeling you create on people.

[@Savtalks]

Late to the game, but still wanted to say you have me bawling at work on my break. The depth of your love knows no bounds, and the conversations you are having are beautiful. You’re one of many important lights that make this world brighter and safer. I’m so proud of you!💛

[@popemse2839]

It wasn’t a lie because we didn’t ask 🤷🏻‍♀️ you’re fine sweetheart. It’s none of our business

[@AlatOnDemand]

Fr

[@menosbbgirl]

Exactly!!!

[@vlaaa_0.0]

yess!

[@farhiyamohamed___]

Fax Nikki is amazing i don’t know why she needs to forgive

[@MissPoplarLeaf]

Exactly!! It's not like she claimed to be cis, she just made videos about makeup!

[@Ashley-yn4vp]

Hearing nikkies mom talk about accepting her daughter and allowing her to express herself brought tears to my eyes. It gives me faith that there are people out there who love and support their children for who they are. You are an absolute icon Nikkie ❤

[@emokoala]

I absolutely adore her mom!! What a great woman. She gets many of her wonderful traits from her mama 🥰

[@theadventuresofkeira866]

There are so many of us that allow our children to express themselves and help them grow into who they want to be!!!! I hope that in the future this becomes the norm, no child should ever feel like they need to hide or should EVER be put down for being their true selves!

[@amberk9183]

You are such a beautiful woman!!! You were born to be a woman that brings inspiration and beauty into this world. I don't always write comments...but I had to say this! The day you were born you were a woman in your soul. You have always been a real woman. Many Blessings to Nikki and Husband Tutorials 💓 🙏 💕

[@jamec6001]

And girllll...Listen...You have absolutely Nothing to apologize about!!! You are a GIFT to US ALL🤩

[@ronnieshotgun]

The only betrayal I felt was learning she was Dutch.

[@Zeilus-Maximus]

Truuuuuuuuuuuue

[@melissab2473]

Haha! Me too!... she has absolutely zero accent when speaking English! 🤯

[@chiasamenpudding147]

Same

[@gingercube688]

🤣🤣🤣

[@ronnieshotgun]

@@Romy--- First, Dutch people aren’t from Sweden. And second, her coming out video wasn’t when I learned she was Dutch. I’m also not a diehard fan of anyone. I enjoyed her videos, had no idea she wasn’t a native English speaker for a while, and was surprised to learn she was not. That’s all.

[@cmcm4204]

We need more Mama Tutorials in this world! Imagine if everyone had parents this supportive.

[@simrahsabiha6378]

alot more ppl would be happier n alive

[@rae615]

such a beautiful video nikki. you are an inspirational and beautiful woman, and have been such a role model to me. i’m not trans but i am a very tall woman, 6’1, and i always struggled with accepting my femininy and being okay to be tall and beautiful. you’ve helped me embrace my stature, and i cannot thank you enough.

[@chiaraantonj102]

I watched this video literally hundreds of times... And every single time I cry... Thank you Nikky! Please never change!

[@mimzy8beeps]

I'm more surprised she is Dutch...That is the most seamless transition between accents wow great actors would pray every day to one day achieve this 👏👏👏👏👏👏

[@TefTV452]

....I speak 4 languages, you wouldn't be able to tell where I was born from hearing me speak in those 4 languages

[@juliastisi1108]

Dutch mean Germans ?? Nö

[@che7941]

@@juliastisi1108 ? Dutch means she is from the netherlands...

[@dommiedarkoh8816]

@@juliastisi1108 no

[@joshnavarrete6716]

@@TefTV452 who tf asked you? Lol

[@Kiki-7]

Never looked at her differently. She's a beautiful talented woman.

[@anamaytem]

exactly 🤍

[@winfieldblue4944]

💯❤️🥰

[@jadecoers]

Agreeeeed

[@psychedelicsunflower5926]

Periodt

[@laravillasboa973]

Exactly.. My only and honest surprise was to see how tall she is lol

[@cassiejohnson8417]

Watching this over today, I understand even more and my respect for you has grown more. My transformations are around completely different aspects but I so much appreciate your trust in yourself amidst your fears and insecurities and possibilities of the past coming back up. I’m amazed by that.

[@jfro3685]

I’m a mother of two young adults… I’m so proud of you for taking your power back. I hope my kiddos will find their inner power, like you have. I wish you all the happiness in the world. ❤❤❤❤

[@coagulatedsalts4711]

let’s give a round of applause to the classmates who didn’t say anything because they knew nikkie was a girl and that her online persona wasn’t labeled as trans.

[@usedtiddyjuice]

Yes and no? Shouldn’t be given praise for doing the bare minimum lol, people just should respect others privacy and it should be normal to mind ya business

[@hgdellinger]

@@usedtiddyjuice You may consider it the bare minimum, but as a trans person this level of respect is unimaginable. I don't go a single day without being misgendered. To have an entire school not out her to the internet? That's so many people who decided to choose decency and that's rare.

[@dogsenseforu301]

@@usedtiddyjuice You are 100% correct that people should respect someone's life and privacy etc. However, it's rare to be in a school/workplace/community etc without a single mean-spirited person and/or attention seeker and/or even a gossip. ie I think there must have been a great teacher and/or supportive community spirit in Nikki's school/classmates etc that continued even after leaving school. 👏 for an example of great community spirit supporting, and holding dear, the best interests of an individual..... so they can thrive.

[@username-re9yk]

Didn't she said she was bullied? 🤔

[@username-re9yk]

@@usedtiddyjuice I agree, it's like praising men for not being r*pist. It's like, yeah? We appreciate?? The effort it takes to not be a sh*t, I guess???

[@smokey_glow]

I could have watched another few hours of this docuseries. Truly a beautiful and inspiring story ❤️

[@Katekang420]

Yes!!! Me too! It was so beautifully done.

[@foreverNwonder]

Ditto. I hope she releases more in the future. Nikkie/her team have done such a great job story-telling here 💞

[@Ants9876]

I want more. I got premium for this series. Love love love

[@adonnarowe1811]

Ikr!

[@auntiimandii]

Was this the end??? 😭💔

[@THEpamstevens]

I’ve only been watching Nikki Tutorials for a short time…I think it started during the ‘final’ Kardashian season. I liked not only the makeup info but, your personality, Nikki, drew me in. Today, this video was in my feed so, here I am. You are powerful and empowered! Keep doing what you do! The world needs what you do! 👏💝

[@BiancaBailey-wb6pu]

Seeing this 3 years after her coming out video I still get chills. What a strong woman Nikki is.

[@DizzyedUpGirl]

I love how her accent comes back when she's speaking Dutch. It's adorable.

[@makalehelie]

As opposed to what?? Speaking Dutch with an American accent? If it’s her native language it’s not an accent lol

[@teska0336]

@@makalehelie I think they meant that her accent from where she was born comes back when she speaks Dutch

[@tesssssx]

@@makalehelie her dutch accent (the region where she's from)

[@snowqueen8365]

She didnt lie. I wish she didnt think that. She will and always has been Nikkie to me. Such a brave woman for sharing .

[@stephaniemoore8013]

She did lie.

[@jtpcwife1486]

How did she not lie?

[@jackieacevedo28]

@@jtpcwife1486 no one asked her specifically and she chose not to talk about it she never denied it it just wasn’t brought up

[@jtpcwife1486]

@@jackieacevedo28 hiding things is still considered to be a form of dishonesty.

[@yingtaros]

@@jtpcwife1486 she never hid it, it was just something that she didn't need to bring up because it has no relation to her content. she did not lie.

[@rebeccanoel1607]

On a binge today and came across this. I’m sorry we live in such a viscous cruel world that you went through so much pain and suffering finding the beautiful person you are! ❤

[@dustyandpickles101]

her running after that rabbit was exactly what i needed after all the dehydration from the past episodes 😂😂 over the last year i think Nikkie has become one of my favorite people ever💕 im late to the party, but im so glad im here :,)

[@melodypetry-johnson2309]

I don't think Nikki ever lied. She is a woman. I don't think that a trans person should feel obligated to come out or feel like their gender in a lie. She is who she is and that is her business.

[@bardonna8599]

I think its necessary because hiding something like that can deceit others who have different beliefs

[@XixiSplash]

He has ALWAYS LIED. He is NOT a woman. Even now. That's not a woman. It takes more than a cake face of makeup to be a woman.

[@schlagie]

@@XixiSplash being trans is more than just putting on makeup you barmy

[@KemoneArmstrong]

@@bardonna8599 ok and? I don't think that should affect how you view them as an ACTUAL person.

[@KemoneArmstrong]

@@XixiSplash oh honey, bless your poor heart.

[@Not.just.a.User.]

I know you are sitting at the other side of the world, nervous how people think about this documentation . I’m holding your hand sweetheart, you’re doing great ❤️

[@KaeldreaRose]

My best friend is MtF, and I can say that she's always been a woman to me. You are a beautiful person, Nikkie, and what form your body took in the past doesn't change the fact that you were and are a beautiful woman inside and out. Also, IMO, it is NO ONE'S business but yours about your history and past. We are all blessed to see you and share what you let us to with you, but you shouldn't and don't owe any of us anything. That being said, thank you for this video! It takes a strong person to be able to put themselves out there like this. And your mom is awesome. ;) All, the love!

[@desireeknotts3855]

she didnt lie. she lived. being born in the wrong body was the lie. she was, is, and always will be nikki. she is a beautiful, strong, and incredible woman through and through.

[@dannysierra3123]

The fact that she thinks she lied. 🥺 You didn’t lie Nikki, you protected yourself. And that’s okay. You’re a woman, periodt. And I think that’s why we can’t feel anger, if anything we feel compassion. You shouldn’t have been pressured the way you were.

[@Lala_Fae]

When her mum said "she is every inch a woman " oh gosh. My heart melted. Nikkie is beautiful from a beautiful family xx

[@michaelazangeres]

She's honestly so lucky she has them! She's from the bible belt, it's probably the worst area of the country to grow up as a member of the lgbtq+ community

[@yanirisecheverriac2759]

i´m crying so hard. I'm so proud of her and also so inspired. Make up is my passion and growing up watching her just gives me all the hope and the courage to follow my dreams and live my life just the way i want. I feel like i don't have a name yet, but one day i will and i will deffinitely meet her and tell her how much of a role model she is for me. Thank you Nikkie, for absolutely everything.

[@erdbeermund78]

I love her so much and find her success oddly healing, in a vicarious way. I've always loved her energy and ever since i found out about her gender experience i can see what a hero she really is.

[@moonglow630]

I was just shocked to find out she wasn’t American. She has ZERO accent.

[@LemonLoafEucharist]

Same lol

[@rebeccasager4679]

Same 😂

[@camilladyrefrank]

she does though? literally everyone has an accent

[@isabellacurtis-battam556]

@@camilladyrefrank I think she means she doesn’t have a foreign accent xx

[@alexabliss8046]

Please tell me Americans realize that American English is an accent...

[@sarairina]

I don't like how she says she lied cuz she didn't lie. She is her. She didn't do anything wrong. We didn't have to know. We weren't obliged to know. She lives her life how she wants to live it. I don't think any way she lied. I don't feel betrayed. I didn't have ANY idea, but I don't care. Because I love her how she is.

[@mammymountain2057]

He lied

[@sarairina]

@@mammymountain2057 Nikkie is a she

[@overgrownkudzu]

exactly, its 100% her choice whether she wants the world to know or not, the world isn't entitled to people's private information

[@SurrealisticSlumbers]

Seriously. I had an *inkling* she was trans, but I didn't have some burning desire to know.. none of my business.

[@connorstern8413]

@@mammymountain2057 there are no dudes in the video. I think your comment is on the wrong place.

[@Vibin-N-Craftin]

Gah. I'm fighting back tears. You're just such a beautiful woman. You are a gift to this world. I know someone that this reminds me a lot of. And it makes me happy to know that she can see people like her, that she isn't alone. And has proof that she can do whatever she wants. And she'll get through everything and can come out on the other side and absolutely shine like you do

[@vaeonyoass]

oh nikkie, you have no idea how much we as a community love you. i’m happy you felt like you could share this with us because you never ever had to. your journey, your life. i can only speak for myself but i think the community would agree, we could never be angry with you about something so personal and life altering. you are beautiful and we love you for YOU. nothing more, nothing less. ❤️

[@konstantinag.6756]

Nikkie doesn't look like a woman....she is a woman

[@colorbar.s]

I'm confused on what you mean?

[@dianaagudelo100]

@@colorbar.s nikkie ( i prob spelled her name wrong) is trans😊😊😊🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️

[@thisusernameistakenbyyomam9091]

The moment I saw Nikki I knew it was a guy and now that I know I can’t unsee it. Especially it’s voice. It’s very obvious.

[@hwasathicc]

@@thisusernameistakenbyyomam9091 “it” her pronouns are she/her! it isn’t ‘obvious shes trans’ and even if she didn’t pass as much as is ‘socially acceptable’ she’s still valid and you have no place calling her an it. grow up :)

[@aeh.7249]

@@thisusernameistakenbyyomam9091 Yeah I don’t believe what you’re saying at all. Nikki has a very feminine voice and her voice can’t be considered masculine at all. In the Netherlands, there are women with very deep deep voices and nobody bats an eye.

[@niftynette9570]

I'm not Trans but I understand when Nikki said "it frames your life" and that's not fair. Trans ppl are ppl period their entire life doesn't revolve around the change they made.

[@babechen3433]

True it doesnt matter what happened in the past Its the past

[@RehAdventures]

Yes. It’s so unfair and as a teacher I see so many people and kids do this to each other. They only accept what is flawless. Any attempt to be “flawless” cannot be accepted true flawlessness and must be exposed as such. No one goes up to a butterfly and laughs at it for once being a caterpillar- why do we do this to people?

[@katieholsinger645]

You are beautiful. Period. You are beautiful because you have the power in you to be who you feel from your heart you are. You are glorious! We love you!

[@ambahrella8326]

What a beautiful soul. And the support and love she has around her is wonderful.

[@katiexcakes]

Your mom is a saint. She accepted you like not many American parents could

[@EvaSVD]

Her mom is Dutch, not American :D They are all Dutch and live in the Netherlands, Europe.

[@kerrie790]

@@EvaSVD I thought that's what she was saying? That she was more accepting than is typical for Americans. Maybe I'm wrong.

[@littlemisspeleonera7467]

Most parents wouldn’t be accepting not just “American “ parents. Have you met Latino parents?

[@skitungensmorsa]

How every parent should be, if you get kids you should always be ready to accept your child like they are or will become.

[@katiexcakes]

@@kerrie790 yeah, i was saying her mother was far more accepting of her than most american parents would be of their children.

[@that.loser.mickey342]

i’ve been crying through this whole series. nikkie, know you are incredible. you are inspiring. so so so much love

[@danieltimofeev]

I am sobing from episode one

[@dreadrea8273]

This

[@that.loser.mickey342]

@Ashley N. thanks, i thought so

[@TNDRAV]

Same

[@Blodreina94]

Me too especially the episode about losing Mikai I was a hot mess

[@cathexis106]

Such a beautiful soul. Thank you for sharing this with us. Your mother is so lovely as well!! I loved being able to see some of the amazing folks in your corner.

[@moonfish6588]

Her mom's love for her literally brought me to tears so many times in just 20 mins. What. The. Fudge. I love her and momma tutorials

[@JillLalande]

I wish that all children struggling, with whatever in life, had a parent so supportive for them. I cried too, it was so beautiful.

[@hs.3662]

I don't see how she owed people to reveal her identity...like how is it anyone's business? Enjoy her tutorials and let her be :'D

[@jesustorres2541]

They threatened to expose her if she didn’t give them what they wanted so she decided to expose herself, I’m glad she was able to over come this!

[@Leeleejayy]

Yessss that’s what I wanna know lol

[@araiag9116]

She has never lied, she has just omitted some details of her life... but isn’t that something all of us do?

[@Mmmtruk]

I wouldn’t ever be angry if any of my friends for telling me something about themselves they don’t tell the world because it hurts them. Omg! NEVER! I would show them more love and support 🥺❤️ love you Nikkie

[@lauriemayhew2279]

I just started seeing your videos a few days ago and the first thing I noticed, of course, is how gorgeous you are without and with makeup and second what a lovely voice you have. When I heard you speaking in Dutch in this video your voice was so melodious and rich. Surely you sing! It's rare to hear a young voice without vocal fry. Your story is very inspiring and heartwarming. Thank you for sharing your full self and congratulations on tossing aside that fear of rejection. Shine on!

[@ju.d]

One thing I take from this is her best friend, boyfriend and family are a amazing support system. People need that.

[@chrisg64]

Yea it makes me so sad to know that people don’t have that. I hate when parents have children and they hate them! My best friends nephew is hated by his own mother bcuz people forced her to not abort him. And she kept him and abused him daily to the point where he now lives with my friend. People especially children need love and support ❤️

[@heybitch2031]

Honestly. Nikkie's mother. She's a goddess.

[@finley6730]

It makes me sad that she thinks she lied. I’ve been watched her for years and will contribute to watch her. She is such an inspiration to everyone regardless of gender . We love you xo

[@ellieashton1839]

Only just seeing this. You are you... No lies here, just you. You're amazing and empowering and I'm sorry you felt pressured to share intimate details of your life before you were fully ready.

[@RolyWestYT]

You are such a beautiful person inside and out ❤️

[@ebwbau8036]

Rolyyyyyyy awwwweeeeeee

[@ii_rxbbxixsykes9039]

That is very true.

[@jojojohnson2000]

Awww roly!!! We love the positivity 🥺😍😭😍

[@house_of_akira_ou3]

Не ожидала здесь увидеть Roly

[@severussnape2262]

This surprising and also not

[@dideethehuman7947]

You weren’t telling a lie You were living the truth

[@jaimemoak9517]

YESSSSSS!!!!

[@SarahSmith-or1fn]

Omg I have watched you for a long time and I never ever knew but this has made me love you even more, you have made other people be proud and happier to come out and be there self's, you are a amazing person no matter what. Never let anyone bring you down you have come so far and I'm sure you make your mom proud every day, you are you and that's what makes you so amazing, you are beautiful inside and out. Much love to you 🤩🥰

[@kourtniesanders5832]

I have been a fan for years, just finding out today….and I embrace and love you!

[@RinskeDouna]

You are pure love. So proud.

[@j4m32hz6]

Queen nikkie

[@celesteshit8764]

So true love her ❤

[@FjRennard]

‘What does my gender have to do with makeup’. Honestly such a powerful quote to so many people. Myself included. I came out a couple of weeks as gender fluid. So proud of you Nikkie. 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈🖤

[@alondraorozco1896]

Proud of you!!

[@FjRennard]

@@alondraorozco1896 thank you 😭

[@IrisMobiel]

Congrats on coming out!!

[@FjRennard]

@@IrisMobiel the support have been overwhelming. I came out 10 years ago as bisexual and got made fun of and called greedy, even by my own mother. Now coming out as gender fluid 10 years on the amount of love I received has been incredible. Times have really changed from 10 years ago in my experience. What last year thought me is that I can be my true authentic self. Nikkie without a doubt helped me come out. X

[@Jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjhhhjhh]

Ive seen this doc before but this time a year later it has hitten me in another way wow i cries so hard,i could feel her paun her fear for rejection,i think this is one of the best doc ive ever seen from someone eho u used too look up everyday in my yt chanel,she is such a strong woman to look up to,wow in so goad she did it she made it trough we need more people like this

[@k.i.m.1326]

Het is alweer even geleden. Maar na het kijken van deze video zit ik met tranen in mijn ogen. Wat een mooi mens ben je toch Nikkie! ❤️

[@canoegirl6335]

My daughter went to a Dutch elementary school here in The Netherlands and when she was around 8, one of her best friends who was born a boy, transitioned to a girl over the summer holidays. Her Mom told me that from age 5, he knew she was a she, so the family decided to let her identify as female. The way the school, parents and subsequently the children handled it was beautiful. There was never any snickering, judgment or bullying. It just wasn’t allowed. Children learn to be mean from adults. Every one of my daughters friends found it normal and no big deal. Life went on. The way it should be. Nikki’s life path is going to be far more than being a makeup tutorial guru, she a gift and a very special person with an important message. ♥️

[@farhiyamohamed___]

Aww thats amazing bless her you made my day. It’s sad that every person isn’t like your daughter and her friends

[@jessesimons4372]

Beautiful or Delusional?

[@farhiyamohamed___]

@@jessesimons4372 beautiful

[@canoegirl6335]

@@jessesimons4372 you mean yourself? 🥰

[@canoegirl6335]

@@farhiyamohamed___ yes I told my daughter that in the hearts of angry judgmental people there’s always sadness and pain. If they’re too weak to look at themselves and change, best to leave them in their own misery and move on.

[@jay_1001]

“Have you felt anger?” “Not a second” that made me cry, so many people take that kind of stuff personally when it’s not meant to be. They don’t understand and they think it’s to spite them or something when that’s not the case at all. I’m so glad that Nikki has someone so understanding in her life because that’s hard to come by nowadays.

[@ComewithLove79]

I am so proud of you for facing your fears! You are sooo brave! I see you, and your light! All I see is strong beautiful person! Thank you for sharing such a important part of yourself! You rock girl!

[@ItsaChihuahuasworld]

Beautiful story thank you for trusting in all of us to share this part of your life with all of us. I feel very honored.