Is This the SADDEST Taylor Swift Song?! My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys Lyrics Meaning

[@kerrijustice8865]

Another way to look at "sickest army doll" is this: in the 90s and 00s, "sick" was slang in America for "coolest,best,most unbelievably awesome." Although not used, "dope,dopest" meant the same. "She's the sickest girl I know" meant "She's the coolest girl I know." I always thought this was a double meaning.

[@wephotogal]

I absolutely love your lyrical breakdowns! Also, when you have that chemistry with someone over such a long period of time, that secret language, the pull, allure, the excitement, the knowing, the conversations with someone all the while you are in a relationship with another person is so enticing and sets you on fire. And when it comes down to the stars aligning and you can both finally be together, the one person just HAS to throw a wrench in it. Of course they do! Taylor was always all in, but was in a constant battle of having to prop up and "save" them instead of just enjoying and loving in a healthy relationship. In addition, what you mentioned "days of wild," I don't think any of her days with Joe were wild (anything but - lol). Her days with Matty were wild and crazy and that what was so enticing (among other things.)

[@NinasNook]

I agree! I think she was so caught up in it and I think she is a romantic person so of course she believed it was meant to be and her life had finally all made sense. My heart breaks for her. 😭

[@popcultureperspectives164]

I think "sick" has a double meaning. "Sick" as in millenial slang for "outstanding/awesome/impressive". That's the "plastic" impression or Barbie persona she gives off. They both have a stage presence or caricature of their true selves when performing and entertaining. Think: "I can do it with a broken heart". Taylor speaks & performs exactly to this concept. But their connection is far more intimate. He knows her tortured heart. He's the only one that took the doll out of her box. He knows she's literally "sick" behind the plastic facade. It's a sickness he relates to and they share in common making her his favorite toy and him also her favorite toy. After all, he's better than all those "Ken's" aka Ken dolls (Calvin, Tom, & Joe) she's played with... right? He's a toy too. So, the plastic smile isn't what she gives him. It's what she gives us while prominantly placed on the store shelf (the stage) at the "mall" (the superficial world). And he's what? He's the only one that knows when her smile is fake, because he's another doll on the same shelf at the mall. I agree that I really like this song, but it's a very complicated song written in the stages of grief. So, there's some projection & some self-contradiction. She accuses him of carelessly breaking her while also strongly suggesting she wants him to keep playing with her. They've been leaving each other "safe and stranded" for a decade. So, it's become routine... a preprogrammed "pull the string" response said repeatedly between the two. She first stranded him to keep herself safe back in 2014. Now, he's done it to her for her sake. Like she said... she keeps repeating herself so put her back on her shelf (till he's ready to play again). They've been on this merry-go-round a long time. The problem is... they're always going to have the same problem. Matty is a wild and carefree spirit and he wants to maintain that. He doesn't want a cage. And that is what Taylor loves about him. But to be with her... he has to cage himself. She cages herself and frequently talks about that in her music. This makes for a really bad no-win situation. If he stays with her in her cage and cages himself to protect her... she'll become bored with him like she did Joe. And he'll become resentful. The relationship wouldn't last. He's not a walk with his head down kinda guy. But if he leaves her again to leave her "safe and stranded"... he breaks her and is cast as being frivolous with his favorite toy. So, it really is a no-win, because as much as they may well be soulmates... they can't be together without crushing each other. They are BOTH the King & Queen of what can only ever be an easily destroyed sandcastle. Giving up her strict and regimented career to become chaos with him would ruin her (and he knows that). She thrives on what she's built. Him giving-up his chaos and wild ways to become more strictly regimented would ruin him and what she loves about him (and I think he knows that too). His world is never gonna be one of non-disclosure agreements or monitoring what he says by being politically correct. He's going to eat raw meat & give sloppy-wet kisses to random dudes in his audience. Just being in Taylor's orbit for 2 months already changed that about him. They've probably had this discussion a thousand times... so, pull the string and she'll repeat: "He leaves because he loves me." And while I'm sure it's a comforting and self-soothing thought for Taylor... I think it's also true of Matty. I think he does leave her cause he loves her. He can't be what she needs him to be, but he has tried.

[@katewillread1509]

I’m loving your breakdowns and hope you take it all the way through the anthology (esp Chloe et al)

[@NinasNook]

@@katewillread1509you’ll be so happy to find out what the next song is! 👀👀👀

[@katewillread1509]

@ 🙌

[@romancereadingfrenzy]

This is one of my favorites off the album, and I absolutely agree with your interpretations here. Although, I have never thought of the mall in the context you did here 🤯 You are absolutely right he took her from a dying institution! I want to add that when you pull a string the doll says what it is programmed to say and the line "he runs because he loves me" and the line "he saw forever so he smashed it up" is reminiscent of her interpretation in All Too Well when she says maybe this thing was a masterpiece so he tore it all up.

[@NinasNook]

@@romancereadingfrenzy yes!! I agree it fits perfectly with ATW “this thing was a masterpiece till you tore it up.” It breaks my heart to think that this new situation is her new “All too well” but I think it likely is.

[@romancereadingfrenzy]

​@@NinasNookLooking forward to your next video ❤ I really cannot wait until loml, *that* song is such a masterpiece! (Amongst many 😆)

[@societycrumbles]

Love your breakdowns, this is one of my faves on the album, excited for the rest of it!

[@NinasNook]

Thank you so much! I’m glad you enjoyed it!

[@missydemeanors1760]

The Mall is also a place in Westminster, London. I often think that 'meet me behind the mall' may have been a place they met while she was in London. That to disguise this fact she used that bogus 'all is fiction' cover story on Folklore to hide back and forth, platonic or not, that went on while she was with Joe.

[@NinasNook]

@@missydemeanors1760 I speculate this too! I picture them meeting in an alley behind a random mall too. I think he was a best friend to her during the lowest points with Joe, illicit affairs or not. He definitely meant something to her.

[@missydemeanors1760]

@@NinasNook Matty, Joe and T all lived in London for a time, at the same time....I suspect it was not behind "a" mall but "THE" Mall...it is the ceremonial route to the Palace in London. There are huge parks "behind The Mall" in London along the route. Just google 'The Mall UK" or St James Park London, UK. I think she developed a cover for the reality during Folklore that it was a love triangle between highschoolers...so fitting 'the mall' in there would seem like a fiction that fits when it was in fact THE Mall in London where she may have met up with M while with J.

[@sarabeckman4762]

Unfortunatley I think he still does mean a lot to her. It can take years to get over a relationship like that. ​@@NinasNook

[@idontlookatmynotifications]

I agree with this. This kind of love and loss can really kill something on the inside, which sometimes can prevent a person from ever ~really~ moving on. ​@sarabeckman4762

[@lovesweetPANDA]

It’s the most touristy area in London so I really doubt she would go there to meet someone especially if she’s doing it covertly

[@sarahbally]

I have just found your channel, and im loving your lyrical breakdown of Taylors lyrics. Cant wait to hear more 😊❤

[@NinasNook]

@@sarahbally Thank you so much!!

[@BB-ww3od]

Hoax!!! Do Hoax!!! It is so heartbreakingly beautiful!

[@needsomezzz]

You deserve so many more views and subs! I just found you and I really love your breakdown of Taylor’s lyrics.

[@janinnezaleski7250]

I found your channel and I'm loving these lyrics breakdown. When I first heard the album, this song didn't resonate with me, but then when I stopped to listen to the lyrics... oh, it's so heartbreaking and beautifully written. And just like that I couldn't stop listening to it. Love that you did this analysis!!

[@clopoledancer]

Love your videos! I love it when people analyse lyrics especially from Taylor Swift ❤ Please analyse Dancing with our Hands tied - I have a strong suspicion that this could also be a Matty Healy song but disguised as a Joe song especially now we know about their decade long situationship

[@klmjtr]

It’s incredible to me how so few words in a song can give so much insight! This was great and I can’t wait for more! Thank you! 🙂

[@NinasNook]

Yes! Honestly that’s why I’ve always been so obsessed with words and their meaning. Taylor also loves to use common phrases and twist them so I just love analyzing and exploring the possibilities. Thank you so much for watching! 🥰

[@pandamoka381]

"Once I fix me, he's gonna miss me"... --> "I just don't understand how you don't miss me..." Your insight makes the Black Dog even sadder, and I didn't know it was even possible.

[@pandamoka381]

Also, I didn't interpret this line the same way you did, and I thought yours was an very interesting take (though much sadder too). I took her "once I fix me" in the perpective of getting over her current distress, saying basically "I am a mess now because of what he did to me and the pain of losing that love, but once I get back on my feet and dry my tears, I'll be sparkling and shining again and he's bound to fall in love again". The irony of it is that though she might be wanting that very much at the moment, once she "fixes herself" she will have moved on with her life, and then this whole love affair is doomed no matter what.

[@NinasNook]

Yes!! I love so much how lyrics can mean different things to us too, which is a reason I get so upset when people belittle Taylor. Her lyrics are so full of art that can be read into with context yes, but also speak to each of us differently to meet us where we are. She very well may also be saying that once she is bejeweled again and shining bright that he’s going to have regrets. I love that it can be both. 🥰🥰

[@NinasNook]

When I tell you I have never had a visceral reaction to a song like I did to The Black Dog. Me at 3am April 19th bawling my EYES OUT. I can’t wait to talk about it. It is such a sad song but it like practically runs through my veins at this point. 😂

[@kerrijustice8865]

This lyric ALWAYS causes me to burst into tears. I know just how Taylor feels. It kills me that Taylor had to feel this way,too, because I constantly feel this about myself. And she's so amazing, and doesnt deserve to feel that broken and defeated. I hope Travis treats her as well as I think he does.

[@Kayla-Is-Down-Bad]

I’m also in love with this song it’s my top favorite on TTPD lyrically. When she says “cuz he took me out of my box, stole my tortured heart, left all these broken parts” I think she is saying he made her open up and feel completely comfortable enough to be herself. They were “twins” he was the only person she had ever met that she didn’t need to teach her lifestyle to. He understood the way her brain worked as a song writer. He understood how important music is to her and her relationship with her fans. She didn’t have to pretend around him to make him happy or for him to understand her they just understood each other. That’s why she “knew too much”. I had fallen victim to being wrecked by a vast number of Ms. Swift’s lyrics previously but this song absolutely DESTROYED ME for months😆 I’m just getting color back into my face thanks to my healing therapy session at NOLA night 2 lol My vote for future videos is Smallest Man 🙌🏼 Last little comment I am so jelly of whoever your bestie is because good grief what I wouldn’t give to have a bestie who loves deep diving into Taylor lyrics 🙃 ❤

[@NinasNook]

Awwww thank you so much! My bestie sadly isn’t a Swiftie so my lyrical deep dives are lost on them. 😂😂 I did force my mom to be a Swiftie though and part of the reason I made these videos is just so she finally understands what I’m talking about all the time. 😂😂 I agree that she felt like she was finally understood and that it was like she lost her twin. It’s so heartbreaking how quick she seemed to go from “Everything finally makes sense” to “Once I fix me, he’s gonna miss me.” 😭😭

[@ixfindxhope]

I sobbed when I first heard this song (and the whole album actually lol) bc you’re so right, there are so many heartbreaking lyrics on this track… but I have a hard time going back to this song in particular bc I think the metaphor is a little… heavy handed? Thinking about it now, if it just didn’t have the line “my boy only breaks his favorite toys” I’d love it 😂

[@NinasNook]

I can completely see this! This song is very sad despite the upbeat synth, so it is hard to listen to at times. There is little hope at the end. 😫

[@kerrijustice8865]

Nina, I love your content SO MUCH!!! I love your analysis,style,and thoughtful explanations. I look forward to every video,and get excited like I'm at the mall with birthday money at 13 in 2007! Thank you for sharing and please keep 'em coming! Give pets to both cats❤

[@alicewonders9291]

Excellent interpretation.....makes sense!

[@NinasNook]

Thank you so much! I’m glad you liked it! 🥰

[@cuddlecutie]

I love your interpretations! Very insightful, please keep them coming

[@sharonevans6864]

I so enjoy your deep dives in these songs, especially this song is so meaningful. What scares me is to think what would happen if he came back and wanted to try again. His pull was so strong I would hate to think what would happen. Hopefully nothing would happen but who really knows. Thank you for taking the time to analyze, can't wait for your future videos. Take care!

[@NinasNook]

I think that she was so hurt by it that I personally am not looking or expecting for a T.S. x M.H. Interlude again. I think she’s genuinely happy with Travis, he understands her ambition and is openly joyful even when surrounded by celebrity. I think he enjoyed being famous as much as she does, Taylor wants to Bejewel and now she is the most open she has ever been by being out in public. I think she’s happy, so I think it would take a lot for her to revisit that pain and consider it again.

[@JLong54]

I saw an article from a newspaper or magazine showing Taylor and Mattie in the parking lot of a mall in Florida. He was carrying a bag from a toy store. The person went to the store and asked what they had bought, and she was told an army doll. I know I didn't dream this. Did anyone else see this article? Thank you Nina for your excellent breakdown of Taylor's songs.

[@sonnymc4677]

I think "sickest army doll" to me means that she is a very cool, action figure, as opposed to a pretty barbie. If you are taking recommendations, I'd love a breakdown of Willow (just lyrics). I think the music video tells a very different story than the actual lyrics.

[@NinasNook]

I would love to do willow! I actually just watched her interview with Apple Music last night on Evermore and loved the insight she gave in it!

[@ktp1699]

@@sonnymc4677 I like this- because she really is a cool action hero.. she also refers to herself as a devoted soldier for her partner in a few songs.. ATW10 and you’re losing me come to mind. I never made this connection before 💞

[@sonnymc4677]

@@ktp1699 yes, I agree

[@GingaNinjaTV13]

I think it may be a composite sketch of the muses because “sickest army doll “makes me think of a G.I. Joe

[@NinasNook]

I think that can definitely be correct! I think she likely was a sick army doll too because she had just come through The Great War and lost.

[@cindywhite3527]

This song as all other heartbreaking songs she writes and sings is one of the biggest reasons she’s my favorite. I like many women who love her have experienced some of the heartbreak she has. I feel for her. I hope she has now found a man who is worthy of her love. One point I relate to is often the people who are closest to you and should love you the most are the ones that break your heart the most/ hardest. Maybe it’s because they feel most secure that they won’t be retaliated against. It is common for those who are emotionally unstable to attack those closest to them. I sympathize with her because of the pain she has experienced and relate to that pain, as most of her fans do. That’s why I love her music. Keep making these videos. I love your analysis of her songs. It teaches me a lot and makes me love her songs even more! Thank you for your hard work! ❤❤❤

[@ktp1699]

This was a great analysis.. and I agree that it’s one of her saddest bops (she has so many lol). This is one of my favorites on TTPD. The writing, the metaphors, and the bridge is amazing. The context of this one is so relatable, and her voice sounds sooo good on this one. I would have loved seeing this one performed on the set list for Eras - I think they could have done something really special with it. I also think this would be a good single to release ❤

[@NinasNook]

Yes! We need My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys as a single! That and Down Bad 100%

[@QuantumHealingTarot]

Pulling the string…. The invisible string

[@ericamulli]

great analysis thanks

[@shoullin1761]

I took “once I fix me” as him regretting breaking her/the relationship.

[@NinasNook]

I can totally see this viewpoint too! That after she gets over the sadness, then he’ll regret. I’ve always just been the sad girlie thinking I am the problem. 😂😂😂

[@elizabethfletcher5599]

He took her out of her comfort zone, where she had been pretty normal and ‘boring’ beforehand. I think he showed her something that most people before her hadn’t and when a Sagittarius discovers that, they aim for that High for rest of their lies that high that they’ve always experienced.❤

[@NinasNook]

100% she felt as if she had experienced a cosmic love and finally was unboxed. It was colors she couldn’t see with anybody else. I know it was such a heartbreaking realization for her when his impressionist paintings turned out to be fakes.

[@MissRoxanneRed]

Another great decoding! You are utterly brilliant! I look forward to your take on imgonnagetyouback as I feel torn as to who it’s about. A lot of people say M but I feel it could be T, talking about when he tried to get her attention with the friendship bracelet and after she found out, she reached out to “get him back” 🤷🏽‍♀️ Also talking back catalogue, Glitch on Midnights - I think is about M, but I can see it could possibly be about J. ❤

[@MissRoxanneRed]

Also to add to ‘imgonnagetyouback, she says ‘you did your research’, T did do his research xx

[@NinasNook]

OH I’mgonnagetyouback is one of my FAVORITES and I hope to do it in the next couple weeks. I definitely think it’s about Matty, lots of similarities between The 1975 lyrics and I’mgonnagetyouback! I also want to do Glitch and I’m excited for it! 😎

[@kerrijustice8865]

I adore this song so much! It's in my top 3 for #TTPD. It's got that 90s vibe tinged with the soldiers marching beat to it, and the lyrics are flawless. As an overview, sometimes I think the songs in TTPD are 3-layered. What I mean is the first stanza is about Joe, the second about Matty, and the 3rd was her "present moment" at time of writing. Or: she was kinda with Matty twice. Maybe 1st stanza refers to the 1989 era with him,2nd stanza the 2023 time(2nd time) with Matty, and 3rd stanza is "present moment." Dont know if I explained properly, but think "Smallest Man" Eras Tour performance where she's shot twice type vibes but in stanzas.

[@JodiHansen-l2r]

You should do w video and lyrics comparison to 1975 the dancing in videos etc. it goes DEEP!!

[@maaikethijssen4094]

I thought (even though this is probably about matty) that the 'sickest army doll' refers to 'all i did was bleed as i tried to be the bravest soldier' from you're losing me. This whole song is her trying to justify what he's done and trying to be his 'bravest soldier'. She's in denial while she's actively hurting (bleeding). Also just to add: It's so cool because I never thought of the meaning of the word 'mall' before, so hearing you explain it was really nice!

[@NinasNook]

I think the mention of war and army doll too can be a reflection of the song The Great War where she swears not to cry anymore if they survive the Great War, now it’s “am I allowed to cry?” So I definitely think that’s part of it too! I think she refers to arguments w/ JA as The Great War so she may be a sick army doll from fighting and losing, and purchased af the mall could be that reflection of just how long ago their relationship or idea of a relationship was dreamed up. If it is Matty Healy their interlude was around 2015… malls were will cool then. 😂😂

[@GiGi-lg1dl]

Brilliant! You nailed it with narcissistic lovebombing. I think additionally she’s trying to justify being in love with him to the Sarah’s and Hannah’s in their Sunday best by saying “I know he’s being a jerk to me right NOW, but you should’ve seen him when he first got me…THEN you’d get it”. Then, based on the lovebombing in the beginning, she’d “play again” in futile hope to see the loving guy again (she won’t)…”just say when”

[@NinasNook]

Yes! I think this too! They just don’t understand him like she does! If they were there when he first saw her, they’d get it.

[@littlebitaver]

Absolutely loving your lyrical breakdowns 🫶🏼 "there was danger in the heat of my touch" also rings back to 'illicit affairs' to me. I think there's reason enough to speculate that at one point in the time, Taylor was MH other woman - hence the danger and the fact she knew too much. My favourite thing about TTPD is how confessional it is, basically blowing open the curtain to reveal the fact that Matty was the "what-if" guy she's been singing about for a decade - swirling him into all of her poems so to speak and revealing that they've both been putting out cryptic songs about each other all these years "you taught me a secret language I can't speak with anyone else" I think there's also reason to speculate that she had an intense fling with Matty before she got with Calvin Harris (Question..?) and they may have reconnected and had an affair before the demise of her and Calvin's relationship (illicit affairs and High Infidelity). Then she got with Joe, so Matty started writing songs (Somebody Else) about his sorrow about the chance he let slip away. "Chloe or Sam" seems to be the key to everything - she felt like she had abandoned him not once but twice (before and after Calvin, not to mention his addiction issues). Matty was always her "in between guy" always there, waiting in the wings. Matty was obviously love-bombing her during the low points in each relationship in an attempt to win her back, telling her that she was his final boss and his queen (he called her "the queen" on stage a few times). After feeling emotionally neglected for so long with Joe, she finally took the leap and ended it with Joe and ran into Mattys arms, thinking it was forever (Fortnight, Fresh Out the Slammer) I can't blame her for feeling so betrayed and humiliated by him, seemingly just up and ghosting her so quickly. After all that time and effort he put into pursuing her so hard for so long, it must have been such a fall from grace. For someone to claim to love you so deeply for so long, then immediately ditch you once you finally let you guard down, and they basically just got what they wanted - definitely leaves you Down Bad because for him, it wasn't sexy once it wasn't forbidden.

[@jackielehman8945]

Prophacy, Toerate it, and my Tears are The Saddest.

[@teresagormley903]

Taylor Seminars are really great deep divers of all Taylors songs.If anyone is interested. I love Nina's also.

[@marcomarch]

I didnt even think about the out-datedness of the mall. when i hear the word „mall“ i usually think of big companies and quantity over quality. so when i heard the line i imagined it was bought from one of those cheap low-quality plastic toy stores. i thought it was supposed be self-depracating, as a sign of insecurity in herself. I interpreted it as: she views herself as a simple unserious pop girl with less artistic integrity than her tumblr alternative indie band boyfriend. thats not at all how i view her (or matty lol), again: i thought it was supposed to tell us she feel insecure and inadequate. i think i like your interpretation more though haha

[@michellemagana402]

I think she could also be saying “put me back on my shelf” with some delusional hopefulness… he was excited to play with her when he initially took her off the shelf. If she can get back on the shelf, maybe they can recreate that feeling.

[@JodiHansen-l2r]

I think there was a long time affair (emotionally) at least going for a while!!

[@artbytiana]

Its just so sad 😔

[@romancereadingfrenzy]

9 minutes ago?! HI!

[@NinasNook]

Hi!! 🥰

[@michellemagana402]

I think she could also be saying “put me back on my shelf” with some delusional hopefulness… he was excited to play with her when he initially took her off the shelf. If she can get back on the shelf, maybe they can recreate that feeling.