Nipsey Russell's Funny Poems

Growing up, I watched a lot of old game shows and one of my favorite celebrity guests was the witty wordsmith, Nipsey Russell. Here are some of his best poems.
Thanks MatchGameProductions and the other KZbinrs who made this compilation possible. Footage owned by GSN.

[@ivanmay7890]

Nipsey Russell was the most enjoyable panelist ever to appear on Match Game. RIP both Gene Rayburn and Nipsey Russell.

[@marinerman]

In honor of the late poet-laureate, I offer one of my own... 2020's been a roller-coaster ride, And everyone wants it to stop, But at least we have this man's beautiful gems, To keep us laughing nonstop... R.I.P. Nipsey Russell The Poet-Laureate of Television

[@donaldpaluga]

👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

[@diaquallo]

👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

[@r3tr0actiongamer24]

I read that as Nipsey 👍

[@moochercat]

The original Nipsey!

[@parkerxjr]

Yes

[@scarboroughjames7]

the one and only Nipsey.

[@teaminfiniti4105]

Yeah but Young Nip was paying homage, so it's no need for that comment.

[@christian4u69]

The ONLY Nipsey!

[@THE-HammerMan]

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I sure miss Nipsy Russell, And bet you do too!

[@kwdrm1]

I agree.

[@diaquallo]

Agreed

[@DRIVEIN101]

I definitely second that emotion

[@mindlessgonzo]

Some of those witty poems still hold true to this day. XD

[@robertfishman3742]

They all pretty much do!

[@williesmith9282]

Here’s one I saw Nipsey say on Match Game and I about lost it: I dreamed I was eating spaghetti Once from midnight to dawn When I woke I noticed something was wrong My pajama string was gone

[@guyfawkes9951]

I met and got to see Nipsey perform in June, 1999 in a small club in Newport News, VA. What a gracious gentleman he was! A rare and unusual talent. Rest in peace, Nip.

[@duggydo]

These are awesome! And the Betty White at the end had me rolling! 🤣😂😂🤣

[@usa02]

It's just hard to believe it's been 10 years since we've been without the greatest Poet Laurete of Television of all time. RIP Nipsey Russell

[@depaola63]

Nipsey was the best at his craft!

[@christian4u69]

Never buy a waterbed for a child The results could be very grim You'll never know if he's wetting the bed Or if the bed is wetting him

[@C.Franxx]

He had BARZ

[@dagdogg]

I was told in the comment section of a video of Nipsey on Match Game that he meant “odometer” instead of “speedometer” in the poem at :47

[@CyberRam71]

It was a horrible nightmare, a terrible dream That kept me up all through the night 6 women were fighting to make love to me And the ugly one kept winning the fight!

[@levinmoser4001]

D. Anthony Nipsey had some great ones! That one is hilarious!

[@dr.spectre9697]

LMFAO!

[@progressivelibertarianview8832]

LOOOOOOOOL

[@bradfrederick3675]

D. Anthony that’s a classic one

[@bernadetteharris3906]

I would have been fighting over him.

[@Larry-qz3es]

In 1988, I was outside for lunch with a few friends here in NYC, one of them sighted Nipsey out on the street. We all said hello, shook hands, and greeted us with one of his hilarious poems. Talk about a classy gentleman.

[@bigvan24]

Thanks for posting this. I've always loved Nipsey."Will sex still be great when I'm 98?It might be, but I won't participate."

[@myinnapeaceministries7545]

I miss this man & all the other entertainers from this era!

[@bernadetteharris3906]

Your not the only one who misses him. 😢

[@Yowza78]

All of them? Leif Garrett? Jan-Michael Vincent?

[@LeotheTiger1234]

My personal favorite poem from Nipsey was not included in the video: The opposite of pro is con. That fact is clearly seen. If progress means move forward, Then what does Congress mean?

[@gardenia81]

Brilliant! I wish I could be just half as clever as he was. 🧠

[@Themaddprof]

Don't make love near the garden gate/because love is blind but the neighbors ain't.

[@admiralcapn]

"When my girlfriend told me I was a model lover I was so happy that I could sing But I looked it up and found that a model Is just a smaller version of the actual thing."

[@GBPLVR]

I loved hearing Nipsey's poems but I would try so hard to remember them to tell people for laughs and get them all wrong! Lol😄

[@dylanryan2567]

If you ever retell that story maybe try it "I love Nipseys Poems and could listen all day long, but when ever I tried, people would laugh, but only 'cause I got 'em all wrong!" Haha

[@mrsriqhtfernow]

Betty White has been old forever 😂

[@christian4u69]

Betty White is so old, her Social Security number is 3

[@laidback20]

And she's been a very sweet woman as she aged. She never lost her humor.

[@scottjtube]

He attacc He protecc But most importantly He funny as hecc

[@jmiller297]

I once saw a statue of Venus De Milo, And as I looked at her there, on the shelf, I said "imagine giving a woman a figure like that And no HANDS to defend herself!" #Myfavorite

[@wolfpredator5226]

The Clorox one got me man, damnit

[@deonagrant5858]

everytime i hear his voice i just think of the tin man...haha #TheWiz

[@depaola63]

I am 55 now and Nipsy is still at the TOP !! Classic fun !

[@AaronBruceLadner]

The Opposite of Pro is Con, That Fact is Clearly Seen. If Progress means Move Forward, Then What does Congress mean?

[@graperonto]

Yup. That's still my favourite one of all.

[@technospyform1578]

🤔

[@chenowethrules9539]

The opposite of "in" is "ex," that fact is clearly seen. If "increment" means a part of something, then what does "excrement" mean?

[@Mark-sj3xb]

Love that one!

[@marinerman]

You are not even kidding... lol.

[@adamkaufman3643]

Lewis Silverboard, my grandfather, was personal friends with Nipsey Russell

[@fatnasty123]

You know Betty gone bring that heat.

[@jimamos7746]

One of the classiest gentleman I ve ever had the priveledge to meet. Very humble man.

[@OuterGalaxyLounge]

"Children are very different today And there's one sure way to know. Kids used to ask where they came from Now they tell you where you can go." I taped that long ago with a cassette recorder on a tape that is long gone, but I remembered the poem. There's a slightly different version of the same poem on this video at 1:27, which shows he recycled these verses on different shows.

[@k-telrj2449]

I am thinking Nipsey had a good poem for Thanksgiving Marinate your turkey in vodka, and let it sit in the fridge overnight, it won't make the turkey taste any better, but the gravy will be OUT OF SIGHT!!!

[@jakespeed63]

Too funny 😂 Miss ole Nipsy

[@brookelyn7714]

Nipsey Russell was a true artist, a rapper in a poet's suit, And everything he said was absolutely funny, which he confirmed when he made you hoot!

[@derffurwood4820]

Nipsey is the reason we have rappers that can rhyme today.

[@rommix0]

Most modern ones don't rhyme. They usually rhyme one word with the same one lol

[@daynonweaver292]

...they told the truth in style and went to jail anyway. 😄

[@MJo-ng4lj]

❤😂🎉,👌Human Golden Treasure gave abundant Comic Pleasure. So nice Rest in Paradise. 🙏👑

[@lewisanderson1171]

Nipsey Russell is a classic comedian his poems were funny he is the definition of a good man with the master plan like a marching band.

[@bloke_19xx33]

Love these anecdotes, the one and only, Mr. Nipsey Russell. RIP, Sir.

[@Thumper17]

Nipsey the poet-laureate That's what the host says Well he's that and more I'll bet He's bettered even your lowest days

[@bigwillietheb]

The man was so funny

[@2AForever-wi8yj]

so glad you got the mermaid clip I remembered the final 2 lines but not the start.

[@briansheil9763]

My personal favorite is this... "Those who say 'women are the weaker sex', Can't see the trees through the woods. 'Cause no matter how loud a rooster may crow, It's the hen that delivers the goods."

[@lgndnhswnmnd]

Thanks for this post! Grateful for KZbin!

[@quickdrip8268]

the tin man from the wiz

[@jerrypaugh3268]

Nipsey Russell was every Famous communion and he was also a philosopher. That's what like about nipsey Russell

[@quentinwilliams6354]

This man was a comedic genius and a poet.

[@MsTraydale]

I loved that hen joke!

[@ericmoore6498]

What a witty talent. So sorry he’s gone.

[@AaronBruceLadner]

There's So Much Talk about Sex Today, That I have Made a Vow, To Find the Guy Who Invented Sex And See What He's Working on Now.

[@xXluckystar1994Xx]

He would have been a good rapper if he’d been born 6 decades later

[@garrygriffy1866]

Theres something we see today on tv that has never been seen before a bunch of religious millionaires asking for money from the poor. Nipsey on pyramid 9/2/87

[@STOPTHEHATE70]

I used to Is lodge Nipsey Russell on is on match game he made my father laugh so hard every time he told one of his lines is truly loved this guy he is amazing

[@BuckyBrown-lt4ry]

A black comic who was funny without being dirty. How rare!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[@apexone5502]

Shut up.

[@vinyltapelover]

Thanks for the download. Your video has brought a lot of smiles to many of us. By can anyone recall Nipsey Russell doing the Biblical Baseball Game? He did it on a variety show, before vhs and beta machines, possibly the Ed Sullivan show. It was brilliant, smart and quite humorous...like everything he did.

[@PatJK910]

Nipsey had some good and funny poems.

[@msgeorgiaannettefranklin5493]

⭐8/12/20⭐ LEGENDARY 💙NIPSEY💙 REST IN POWER 😇💙🙏

[@eh5369]

What a champion of a man.

[@aaronbruceladner1983]

SPANKING A CHILD TO FORCE HIM TO LEARN, IS SOMETHING I CANNOT DEFEND HOW CAN YOU KNOCK ANY SENSE IN HIS HEAD, WHEN YOU'RE WHACKING HIM ON THE WRONG END?

[@josephgarrison7424]

I WANT TOO DEDICATE THIS FUNNY VIDEO TOO ROBYN MARIE PROCTOR,,,THIS GUY IS GOOD & FUNNY,,,,PEACE LOVE,YOUR FRIEND JOSEPH

[@scarboroughjames7]

I loved Nipsey Russell's Poems.

[@joseperez1085]

a true legend...

[@derryfranklin1069]

Betty White at the end was perfect! She was so witty 🤣

[@antediluvian99]

Dude spittin Facts💯.

[@vidallopez1800]

Never knew Nipsey Hussle got his name from this guy

[@2mara]

The real king of comedy...🤍

[@rberka555]

One bright day in the middle of the night, 2 dead boys got up to fight, back to back they faced each other, drew their swords and shot each other. A deaf policeman hear the noise, came and shot the 2 dead boys. If you don't believe my rhyme is true, ask the blind man, he saw it too.

[@way2easy2love]

I have a question i must ask but first you must try to grasp that poems are smooth and rhyme with joy so Why did the cop shoot 2 dead boys??

[@brianofnelson]

One of my go to poems from when I was a child. I use it sometimes. Loved it then... Love it now !!!

[@Yowza78]

For the same reason you asked this stupid question: idiots do idiotic things. No, really, are you serious?

[@quentin3330]

What a talent. Nipsey Russell > Nipsey Hustle

[@Crow-of-DOOM]

This video is almost worth getting KZbin Red or whatever it’s called now so I can download this to my gallery

[@trevorpanno516]

Nipsey Russell always came prepared for a poem.

[@carwrtr1]

Nipsey is something else...

[@stevenfanale4553]

We need him right now!!!!!!!

[@TopsideCrisis346]

When I hear this cat put down a bar, it makes me wonder how this dude was so damn famous, and I'm only hearing of him now. 😎

[@abigailjarrard4363]

“There’s a streaking brother in Harlem, He’s known as the streaking soul. He has such a physique, He will not streak, But he will get naked and stroll.” Match Game question poem, By Nipsey Russell

[@johnmiller8338]

" Lady's & gentlemen it's time for nipsey-russell's juvenile-jury & now here's the poet-laurete of television himself mr.nipsey-russell".

[@Rlotpir1972]

He also hosted "Your Number's Up" and pilots like "Juvenile Jury '82 (Barry/Enright)", "Star Words" (Goodson), and "Jackpot '84" (Stewart).

[@johnmiller8338]

"Nipsey-russell's poetry is timeless-tv the original himself mr. nipsey-russell".

[@gordonclark4049]

Nippy Russell love him so funny

[@shamushamudeen8427]

Absolutely hilarious

[@nikos8004]

At 2:02 the host shook his hand!

[@dylanryan2567]

I think Nipsey is basically like if Mohammed Ali never became a boxer Ha

[@melodysanger103]

REMEMBERING JULIUS "NIPSEY" RUSSELL (September 15, 1918 - October 2, 2005) [09/15/2020]

[@nicholashill7202]

2020 was nipsey hussle

[@simonmburu6273]

wow his lines are a hit

[@telepathy90]

Classic nipsey

[@nipapfcw]

They talking about you now! ♥️♥️♥️♥️

[@clairez007]

Blimey I was like ? He just passed? I loved his Rhymes,But he's got to be older than 33 ? Damn I'm old .

[@jonmacdonald5345]

Claire MaguireArt He was 32 right here !

[@apexone5502]

Reads like you are confusing 5he rapper Nipsey Hussle with comedian Nipsey Russell.

[@costcoking1764]

This is Nipsey Russle, he took his name from the rapper. They both died tho

[@jf9096]

He was a rapper before there was rap.....think about that one.

[@godschosenpeople5084]

Who’s here because of Nipsey Hussel?

[@Yowza78]

Well you didn't come here from English class, that's for sure.

[@LeilaRWilson]

Words to live by!

[@kdog23able]

Betty White for the win!!

[@juanitat307]

Sure do miss this man's wit!

[@1Cruzer4u]

The Best

[@jamaalcurry8990]

Nipsey Hustle got his name from Nipsey Russel

[@Yowza78]

No way! Are you sure? I don't believe it!

[@rykson161]

I came here from Nipsey Hussell

[@derffurwood4820]

I'm thinking that Nipsey and his rhymes, was good in his times. But now I'm thinking, he be cool like Lincoln.

[@jacob3953]

The original emcee.

[@Wahey]

Funny. Here's one of mine: © Bernard Morris 2020 LIBRARIANTICS Upon the desk at my local library I placed a paper frog And then from out of my carrier bag I pulled out a paper dog I placed it next to the paper frog And pulled out a paper plane The librarian gave me a funny look And thought I’d gone insane A paper duck and a paper horse Followed in quick succession The librarian thought I’d lost my mind You could tell by her facial expression The paper duck and the paper horse Were joined by a paper giraffe The librarian gave me a funny look And said, “You having a laugh?” She told me to stop and she gave me a look As if I was completely barmy She said, “What’s all this?” I said, “I’m returning that book I borrowed last week, The one on Origami.”

[@Thumper17]

A masterclass sir.

[@Farrah300]

It's not in this video, but here's a timeless, yet timely poem from Nipsey Russell. "The opposite of pro is con That fact is clearly seen If progress means to look forward Then what does congress mean?

[@aaronbruceladner1983]

That's from PASSWORD PLUS

[@RantTherapist]

This man is a more charismatic version of Mitch Hedberg! His comedy reminds me of him in some ways, haha. My doctor heard I like stand up and she recommended I watch some of his stuff and Flip Wilson. I'm so glad she did. Hahaha!

[@l.s.a1990]

RIP Nipsey Hussle.... Eternally...

[@talell27]

This is Nipsey Russell, Nipsey Hustle is a rapper