No, Aang was NOT a TERRIBLE Father

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There is one criticism of Avatar The Last Airbender and Legend of Korra that I see pop up time and time again, I feel, is just supremely unfounded. Every few months somebody tweets about how Legend of Korra made Aang a TERRIBLE father, and how it’s the worst thing the show could have done. Some even go so far as to say that he is an ABUSIVE father, calling it CHARACTER ASSASSINATION. And to that, I have to say, have words lost all meaning? Have we lost all sense of nuance in our media literacy? Are we THAT afraid to let our heroes have shortcomings? So today I’m gonna explain why Aang is not a terrible father, but a FLAWED one, and break down exactly how the character’s history and role in the world perfectly explain his shortcomings.
Edited by Joe Murphy
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Video Used:
Avatar: The Last Airbender (2005-2008)
The Legend of Korra (2012-2014)
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[@Johnny2Cellos]

Head to keeps.com/johnny2cellos to get 50% off your first order of hair loss treatment.

[@jablinski_time]

Thats a thing Aang desperately needed.

[@jessegartung294]

Aang isn’t a terrible father like Richard from TAWOG.

[@jessegartung294]

Hero’s should have flaws I blame the mandloridan for giving people the idea heroes should have flaws. I mean think about it what made the monkey king a interesting character in journey to the west?

[@CodeguruX]

He interracially married. He fucked his kids. That's the reality of it.

[@firdanharbima6997]

0:43 you literally pick this from Twitter where almost all the user never touch dictionary and dare i say actual idiots,also where almost all propaganda exist? ofc it's good video to talk about but from twitter? bruh

[@kerryanne5005]

I don’t even think Bumi and Kaya felt that Aang was a terrible father, I think they just wanted Tenzin to acknowledge their experience

[@patriciaviczmandy649]

Also how in hell bumi dosent have bending power?

[@JonwithnoH0823]

@@patriciaviczmandy649 neither one of Kataras parents were benders, yet she can water bend.

[@doctordl7757]

It seems as though they both suffered from emotional neglect so yes Aang was a bad father.

[@relyk9157]

@@doctordl7757 Parents aren’t perfect. Everyone makes mistakes. You can tell in the series they love him. Your ignorance is so loud.

[@gracekim25]

@@doctordl7757 liar

[@emilygrimes9791]

Can't forget that Tenzin is his 3rd kid. Which means he went through his first two kids with neither being air benders. And then finally his 3rd child shows abilities he thought lost.

[@stephaniemasson1224]

I never thought about it that way, but you're right. Besides, with Tenzin being the third child, that means Bumi and Kya also had experiences with Aang that Tenzin didn't have. I'm not invalidating that they felt excluded, but that's life. Sometimes parents need to give some extra attention to one of their children, for many different reasons, but that doesn't make them bad parents.

[@luffy101311]

Reminds me of Todorokis dad from MHA who decided to stop having kids only after he had a kid that inherited 2 superpowers lol

[@theoriginalstarwalker4357]

@@stephaniemasson1224 Parents putting more care into their youngest child is somewhat reasonable. Especially if... said child has an ability only their father has, in the entire world. Hundreds of thousands of Air nomads were wiped out, leaving ONLY Aang.

[@RacingSnails64]

Ooh that is a good point!!

[@GrayRain0]

@@luffy101311bro. He had like 4 kids. And that been broke the mother

[@frickinfrick8488]

I’m sorry everyone but no matter how good of a parent you are your kids are still gonna have some gripes when they grow up. Nobody is a perfect parent and Aang screwing up by spending more time with Tenzin is perfectly in line with his character and the burden he carries of being the last air bender. I’m glad someone made a video because this argument has been bugging me for ages

[@costelinha1867]

So true. Parents ARE GOING TO MESS UP, and they ARE GOING TO MAKE things that will lead to bad memories on the kids. Aang is NO EXCEPTION, if anything his upbringing and responsibilities only makes it EVEN MORE LIKELY for him to mess up due to pressure.

[@SunBeeSmoked]

One of those gripes should never be “my father denied me my culture and neglected me”

[@frickinfrick8488]

@@SunBeeSmoked good thing that isn’t what they said.

[@SunBeeSmoked]

@@frickinfrick8488 you clearly didn’t watch the show, Aang only shared the air nomad culture with Tenzin and that was one of Bumis major gripes.

[@taylorschott4659]

Having a favorite child is perfectly normal. that i understand. But according to Kya, aang purposely left her and bumi out of MULTIPLE vacations, and only bringing Tenzin who by the way was the YOUNGEST. thats the ultimate show of favoritism. its no wonder Tenzin had such a strained relationship with his siblings. im actually surprised that its not worse.

[@TheMnateehatha]

Parenthood is a full time job, but so is being the avatar. Aang did his best with the circumstances he was given! I really like the narrative that he wasn't a perfect father. It's more like real life, it's believable and relatable. We all have things our parents did that we want to improve on with the next generation.

[@gracekim25]

Exactly!😅

[@Winlaw459]

exactly this. and yeah his children fought and stuff but all in all, i think all of them turned out to be amazing adults with the same kindheartedness as both katara and aang

[@fajartirta4934]

@@noahnederlands7642 but he need to have children to repopulate air bender

[@jordanread5829]

@@noahnederlands7642 I would say they can if they want to. But they need to find a way to balance being the Avatar and being a parent. Aang just had the extra responsibility of also being the leader of the Air nomads, even though for a time it was just him and later Tenzin (hence why he focused more on Tenzin than Bumi and Kaia). While also overseeing a complex world coming out of an 100 year war.

[@KingBongsly]

@@noahnederlands7642 well only aang had the problems of being an avatar and having children because he was also rebuilding the air nomads and replacing the fire nation colonies with cities that could support all benders in a unified way so yeah he was a bit busier than previous avatars

[@mx9226]

I’ve seen terrible fathers. Aang wasn’t a terrible father. He wasn’t the best one all the time, but he was pretty good.

[@danw3441]

Another thing that would factor in to this is katara. Katara, who was most know for her immense compassion and caring. We also see on several occasions that she has no problem calling people out when she sees injustice or wrong doing. So who in their right mind goddamn would assume that she would just allow her husband to be an egregiously negligent father to his kids!? If aang was as bad of a parent as some people claim he was, katara would have seen it and shut that shit down in a heartbeat. It’s like people forget she was even there! I think your analysis is spot on, that Aang wasn’t a negligent father, just the most busy man on the planet who never had a good example of what a father should be, and even that probably would’ve sparked a few conversations between him and katara.

[@ShadeSlayer1911]

I don't think that's the best counter. She could have also been a bad parent herself. Think about it. We only see these people in their childhood, which tells us nothing about how they were as adults. Sure, we see glimpses of Aang in his prime, but that's not enough to tell us how he was as a father. We see nothing of how Katara was as a mother either. We only see her as an old woman. People change so much between childhood and parenthood. What we do have definitive proof of is how their own children saw things. And being busy is not an excuse. Nor is not having a father figure, which Aang did, in the form of Gyatso. You can excuse all number of bad parenting if you allow those excuses. At the end of the day, based on how his children explained things, Aang was a bad father, and Katara may have been a bad mother. I know I know, it's hard for fans to ever see these characters as being FLAWED PEOPLE. Even the best people can make to be bad parents.

[@brandonlyon730]

@@ShadeSlayer1911 Problem is we never hear Katara’s side of the story or her word on this? I say her word is just as valid as Bumi and Kya’s. How do we know if Kya and Bumi weren’t just lying or exaggerating what they think happened, they have no sort of proof themselves other then taking there word for it?

[@ShadeSlayer1911]

@@brandonlyon730 That is the thing though. She doesn't have any words on the story. We can only go off of the details that we have, and not the ones that we don't. Plus, it's just not that hard for me to see both Katara and Aang having blind spots in their empathy, and thus be neglectful through favoritism. It's a very realistic thing to have, and it still fits with what we know about their characters. We would all LIKE for the two of them to also be amazing perfect parents as well as heroes to the world. But it's not impossible to believe that they weren't the best parents. It makes them more interesting, and it makes Bumi especially into a sympathetic character, rather than just...a dumbass. Actually, with Bumi, him being neglected explains...just so much. No wonder he's so eccentric. He probably acted out a lot in his attempts to get attention from his parents. And this carried onto adulthood. For me, it just works way too well in the story for Aang and Katara to turn out to be neglectful parents. It makes everyone in the family more interesting, and it gives a lot more to think about when it comes to parenting and heroism, and how they mix. This is one of those cases where character flaws just make things better in a story. At least for me.

[@brandonlyon730]

@@ShadeSlayer1911 But how do we know if anything Kya and Bumi are even saying is true or is them just exaggerating? like they believe that their parents neglect them, but since we don’t even see a flashback or anything like that to show it how are we to know if this is really the case and if they are even telling the truth? We at least got see Toph and her daughters with flash backs, but none with Aang, Katara and there kids? It's a big case of a telling but not showing anything, the reason Katara doesn’t have any words is because no one bothered to ask her about anything and the show never bother to let her explain anything.

[@ShadeSlayer1911]

@@brandonlyon730 fair enough. At the end of the day, it's just whether or not you accept it yourself. This side plot definitely wasn't very well done, due to what you just said. I just find it interesting enough.

[@TheHopelessFan]

I've always found Aang's behavior as a father more interesting than terrible. I love complex father figures. Maybe its just cuz I like batman comics that I struggle to see Aang as a awful father. (Bruce is a very iffy father to his kids in most comics) "And I think that’s what a father is, a blade that never stops cutting."

[@jablinski_time]

Of course a someone with a joker profile pic would say that.

[@Oldmanhenderson12]

Am I the only one who didn’t even see Aang as a bad father? I feel like we barely got enough time seeing him as a father to truly make that determination

[@dancingbymoonlt]

People base it off of how his three children perceive him. Bumi and Kya make a point of reminding Tenzin that the great family vacations he recalls were really just him and Aang. While many people justify this because Tenzin was an air bender and Aang was teaching Tenzin his culture that doesn’t justify ignoring the other two kids. Aang’s culture should have been something all three of his children experienced learning from him, not just the air bending child. While this doesn’t make him a BAD father it certainly doesn’t make him a good one, which is unusual for the character of Aang. Tenzin recalls a wonderful father while his older siblings recall a neglectful father.

[@petthequeenofmaddness8592]

@@dancingbymoonlt Who was he supposed to learn from he was a kid and had to fight wars you can't forget he was the Last air bender who else was Tenzin supposed to learn air bending from it sounds like Aang died first and if it was an illness then he might have not had much time.

[@dancingbymoonlt]

@@petthequeenofmaddness8592 Aang as we knew him in ATLA was a kindhearted and loving boy with a very strong father figure in Gyatso, despite that not being the role he was supposed to have with Aang it is the role he took. Not having a strong parental bond doesn’t mean you are set up to be a poor parent either. Aang had plenty of people around him to guide him in how to raise a family. The writers choose to show a COMMON parental flaw, a very real flaw, with Aang. Something they do with all their characters and story arcs is show realism in a way that kids can digest, that’s why ATLA was so big. But because it was Aang and because it’s a reality of parenting it made people mad and “ruined” the character.

[@dancingbymoonlt]

@Will N That is something I noticed when they introduced them. Bumi takes after Sokka, a clear sign that he took his neglected nephew under his wing. They would have bonded over their lack of bending and Kya and Katara would have bonded over their water bending. You see a lot of Katara, imo Sokka as well, in Kya.

[@costelinha1867]

I'd say he was probably a good father considering his circumstances. Not perfect, just a good father. I don't think Bumi and Kya would look so fondly at him, to the point of even wanting him to be proud of them if he wasn't a good father. And it's not like Zuko with Ozai where he wanted to make him proud to get his honor back and be accepted, as they knew Aang already DID accept them. They genuinely just want their father to be proud of them. They LOVE Aang, to me this shows he was a good father, even if a bit flawed.

[@HerooftheWild]

Aang wasn't a terrible father but he wasn't a perfect father. For almost 100 years Aang was the only and last airbender (hence the title) and I understand why he would focus so much time on Tenzin, the only airbender born into the family (until Bumi gains airbending abilities)

[@Al7249]

Yeah nuances. Lol. But that makes me think, I wonder how Bumi was brought up being the only none bender of Katara and Aang. Was he coddled, safeguarded like glass or told he couldn't do certain things. The world may never know.

[@jordanloux3883]

I mean he was raised communally by monks and really didn't know HOW to raise a traditional family. With that in mind of course he would make mistakes. What's important is his intent and what he learned from his shortcomings.

[@jordanread5829]

@@Al7249 I imagine Bumi hanged out with his Uncle and learned a thing or two. I would've liked if Bumi was a master swordsman.

[@Al7249]

@@jordanread5829 yeah. I once read a fic where after Bumi was born Sokka took it upon himself to mentor him. Kinda sad that feels like the most missed opportunity for some Sokka stuff. Speaking from someone that found him annoying when I was younger.

[@theresahall5141]

Plus when aang was growing up there was no such thing as mixed nation family. Water benders grew up around water benders and had nobody from other nations in their families. Same went for the other nations. The avatar could marry into any nation but they usually were told in their teen years so they could focus more of their energy on their responsibilities and education as the avatar. Aang never got to have a regular childhood because the monks worried about the future decide to tell him early and until the gang came until his life he didn't have friends. The only adult who remembered that he was still a child was going to be taken away for remembering that and trying to protect.

[@sparxstreak02]

I’m not surprised that Aang turned out the way he did - Johnny's analysis on why this is, is pretty spot on. Emotionally, he neglected Kya & Bumi but also placed numerous expectations on Tenzin from a young age which would explain why he grew to be so serious in nature. I mean the dude gave his son a book on his 5th birthday (called Avatar: Legacy) all about how he was so grateful Tenzin was born an Airbender & Katara doesn’t help with this pressure by literally saying how a ‘great burden had been lifted’ off Aang’s shoulders (& straight onto Tenzin’s!) but given that Katara ties bending so closely to her identity & to all those who can, I’m not surprised she enabled this behaviour in Aang. Kya at least would’ve got some attention from Katara through both being Waterbenders but Bumi having neither would get the shortest end of the stick. No wonder he acted like the goofy sibling in order to get ANY shred of attention. So to sum up - both Aang & Katara fell short as parents, though I think Toph takes the title of least adequate parent (if we get a video on her parenting journey I won’t complain! 😁)

[@shoyuramenoff]

Good analysis!

[@spectorthecritic1723]

I honestly don't even buy into the idea that Aang "emotionally neglected" Kya and Bumi, I think he definitely favored Tenzin and spent more time with him but to assume Aang was absent for Kya and Bumi doesnt really line up. People also have to remember that Tenzin is around a decade younger than both Bumi and Kya, meaning Aang and Katara only had them for a majority of their childhood.. in that time and even afterward (although it might have been less) I'm SURE that Aang and Katara both loved and supported their children in everyway, Aang and Katara are not the types to neglect a child simply for something like being a nonebender, Aang and Katara would have assured Bumi that it didn't matter, but the thing is even if that did happen no matter what they did Bumi would still naturally have that insecurity. In summary, yes Aang favored Tenzin, but there was so much time he had with his 2 other kids before Tenzin was around, and because of that he definitely bonded with them thoroughly and because of that already built foundation definitely continued that bond even after Tenzin, even if Tenzin did end up getting more attention than they did when they were older.

[@spectorthecritic1723]

@Will N What? We have literally 0 information on Zuko as a parent, he definitely had downfalls as well

[@victormagoco9752]

Some people got mad that Toph became a bad parent, but in retrospect it should have been pretty obvious: fame from a young age, reckless behavior(and power to back it up) and painfully honest, that’s exactly the kind of person I expect to mess up both in romance and raising a child, no one wants the “crazy aunt” to be their mom

[@theresahall5141]

Well being the avatar aang had a duty to try to ensure the future. But no avatar has ever achieved world piece so being the last Airbender he must have feared the cycle was broken. His son being one would allow his people to live on even after he was gone. Plus once he was officially the avatar as a child they were too busy trying to turn him into an adult when he was still a kid trying to figure out what he wanted out of life besides his destiny as avatar. Aang needed adult guidance growing up to help him understand more about when he was being stupid. The kids were pretty responsible for kids but they could have used an adult sometimes.

[@ArteiceTB]

Crazy that fans love to bring up ATLA but completely forget Aang’s trauma and how that would logically play out in his future. I always thought it was straight forward and made the most sense but guess some ppl don’t listen. Great vid Johnny and one I’m sure will make the rounds when the same old “hot take” inevitably come up again💜

[@Johnny2Cellos]

Thanks Arteice!!

[@greendiamondglow]

His trauma is forgotten because the narrative rarely brings it up. Katara losing her mother made such an indelible mark on her character that it affects how she interacts with people, and IT IS ACKNOWLEDGED IN THE NARRATIVE. Aang's trauma is only brought up when it's convenient to the plot. Can you really blame people for forgetting when it seems like Aang himself forgets most of the time?

[@pizzapower3166]

@@greendiamondglow Finally. A point that makes sense. People need to understand that any form of neglect is inexcusable especially if it's due to trauma or "great responsibility". I think people aren't put off because it was abuse, it was not, it's just something that seems so simple to avoid doing. It kinda reads like Ego from Guardians of The Galaxy Vol. 2. If you know, you know.

[@hazelnutspred3348]

Honestly it makes sense. Those same people love to praise atla but bash tlok. Makes me feel like all their gripes with tlok are just invalid since they're perception and memories with atla cloud their judgement

[@pizzapower3166]

@@hazelnutspred3348 This is exactly what it is.

[@frankielovejoy9928]

I wonder if part of the reason people view Aang as a bad parent through such an uncharitable lens is because this type of parent is more common in real life. Compare Aang to Fire Lord Ozai: Ozai was an unjustifiably sadistic father, but in real life, how many of us have had to deal with parents that leave brutal physical scars on one child and psychologically damage the other to the point where they end up hallucinating and in a straight jacket? It can happen, but it's not the most relatable thing in the world for most people. Aang seems more like a parent that someone is more likely to have in real life: Accidentally neglecting one child in favor of another, not being able to take time off of work for their family, and so on. Casually neglectful if you will. In a shocking turn, Aang is vilified for being a relatable character.

[@mlp_firewind8129]

I think that’s kinda the rub. Because I think the way Aang treated his children makes sense in the context of the show. But it also isn’t okay. It’s painfully obvious to everyone involved he loves Tenzin more than his other kids. He doesn’t abuse them by any means, but he clearly neglected them emotionally and that still weighs on them almost 20 years after he died, well into their adulthood. I think taking a couple tweets and using that to say media literacy is dead is a bit out there. Especially when these struggles these characters go through is so tangible, so relatable.

[@RogueTheFurryRaver]

@@mlp_firewind8129 eehhh it sounds out there to take a couple tweets and say that media literacy is dead but we are also talking about Twitter here one of the most toxic sites out there, because no matter where you look, there will be an argument about SOMETHING there is ALWAYS at least 2 sides arguing at each other, and depending whats being argued about, there just MIGHT be a middle person who sees both sides, tries validate both of them, but the sides kind of have a "how dare you also agree to the opposite side of me" mentality and then argue with the middle people its just a big argue-fest, and so when 1 person voices an opinion, you bet lots of other people are sharing that opinion as well so its not just 2 people that think Aang was a terrible/abusive father, we just dont get to see how many in this video

[@hassanalkhalaf1115]

I see where you come from and I'm far from dismissing anything you say because I agree but Ozais parentstsyle and Zukos abuse is relatable too. While most of us abused kids may not have visible scars (That's done on purpose because even abusive parents want to hide their kids bruises) we can still relate to being hit by our parents, crying for forgiveness on our knees before it happens, failing to recognise that our abuser is a bad person and not someone we have to make proud. Especially the line "I was lucky to be born" is so dark but so relatable for us because many people, even our own parents and siblings, talk about our birthdays with regret and shame. Ozai comparing him with Azula and favouring her on purpose is especially painful but also relatable. Honestly the hug Zuko received from Iroh, all the care he got from his uncle and finally being accepted by Katara felt like a warm hug because finally I saw a boy like me who worked it all out and got a better life.

[@wednes3day]

@@kendraroth1276 pretty sure the entire concept of monarchy tends to get flack for that (while also having bigger issues kinda overshadow it)? (and that it comes up in the times when royalty are looked at as people, rather than figureheads .. at least in modern times?)

[@xanecho]

​@@kendraroth1276 plenty of people are anti-monarchy. they just don't tend up to bring up that real world political view in a conversation about a fictional show

[@Spongebrain97]

Something crazy to me was that when Aang eventually did die, for some time Tenzin was the last airbender, and the first to be born after the Air Genocide. So he had no lived in experience with them and only knew what Aang taught him

[@iamjaboba]

That reminded me of a fan comic of how when a younger Tenzin was ready to get his Airbending master Tattoos, Aang had now idea how to do it right, and it took the wisdom of the previous Airbender avatars to help Aang give Tenzin his Airbending master ceremony

[@Al7249]

Yeah lol that's true and Aang barely knew anything of his 0en culture so hin getting stuff wrong makes sense. And sounds funny in certain places

[@ConnorLonergan]

Except Aang would know how the Tattoo Ceremony was done as he did go through it himself, or did you guys think Aang's Arrow Tattoos where what he was born with.

[@Gigawolf1]

@@ConnorLonergan Somewhat true, though there's a better explanation; some of the comics introduce the Air Acolytes as people who give themselves the Airbending tattoos because they look cool. Aang gets upset, but ends up recruiting them to help & teaches them the way of the Air Nomads. In other words, he wasn't the only person capable of doing the tattoos. Whether it was an extension of non-religious tattoo techniques, or they just figured it out on their own, or those early followers found guides on how to do the tattoos, the technique wasn't something only Aang had access to. Only he had the cultural role to recognize one as an Airbending Master, but the ability was another matter entirely

[@ConnorLonergan]

@@Gigawolf1 Erm ok? Sorry I just have a hard time seeing that as different as to what I said because even in this reply it still implies that Aang knew how the Tattoo Ritual was done.

[@gracekim25]

Yeah….it’s like people have put Aang on this high pedestal and forget he’s STILL human. Humans have flaws 😅

[@costelinha1867]

Yeah, they think that once his character arc is over in ATLA that means he overcame all of his flaws and is now maigcally a perfect person.

[@tomorrow1wb]

@@costelinha1867 Yes he was a pretty immature kid who experienced so much trauma and had a little ego problem

[@ohood1788]

Exactly! It's especially baffling because he's always had flaws in atla and that's what made him a good character. There were times where he was selfish, stubborn, dishonest, irrational and so on. He's human. He has moments where he doesn't make the best decisions and that would surely continue in adulthood. His flaws are what make him interesting and what make him feel real.

[@renatiaowo4458]

i think a new perspective is needed sometimes tho. Like i understand he has flaws but.... i want to watch shows to escape, not be faced with the realities of bad/neglectful parents,, otherwise i would watch a documentary

[@ohood1788]

@@renatiaowo4458 Then maybe the avatar franchise isn't for you because most if not all major characters are written to be 3 dimensional and have flaws as well as merits. Also Aang isn't a bad dad because he made some mistakes, his kids obviously don't hate him but have a few gripes with some of his decisions which is a pretty standard parent-child relationship. Giving characters flaws isn't a bad thing, it might not be for you but it's not objectively bad. I'm sure there are plenty of shows that have perfect, flawless characters but you won't find that in avatar.

[@brandonlyon730]

The biggest issue I have about this whole “Aang is a terrible father” thing, is that we never hear Katara side of the story about this. Like she's still alive and well in Korra, so we should’ve heard from her about how things really went down when she was raising the kids with aang. From her we would’ve knew full well if whatever Bumi or Kya said was even true or was them just lying or exaggerating.

[@sassydebbie]

Exactly. My own take on this conversation is that we don't even have information on how he was outside of being the avatar as an adult, and based on what the series depicted it was definitely made for him to seem to have not been a good father. I don't think we truly expect him to be perfect, but based on the character we know from the first series and the lack of information we had in the other, he doesn't seem to be the type that seemingly got depicted in TLOK.

[@bryantbrown1213]

It always blows my mind when people are upset over Aang not being the world's best dad. The finale of Avatar made it clear, his duty is to the world. That's always going to come first. Honeslty, he wouldn't have had as much time with Tenzin except that it was incidental to rebuilding the air nation. He didn't have time for his other children becuase he literally had to rebuild a world after a war that lasted over 100 years. I not only accept that he was a flawed father, I actually love that we see everything wasn't all good after he defeated the fire lord.

[@alarrim29574]

You telling me all these vacations he took tenzin on for “air nation culture and learning” he couldn’t take his other two kids who are part air nomad😂. I might be remembering wrong but didn’t he take tenzin alone to ride the koi fish at kiyoshi island. Why couldn’t he take all 3. That’s why people think they made him a bad father and ruined his character not cuz he had a duty to the world and air nation along with being a dad

[@GiulianaBruna]

I mean. Knowing sokka and zuko, they would absolutely call him out if he was a neglectful parent towards some of his kids because of their bending abilities. It's easy to share more time with your kid who is somewhat more similar to you, having similar tastes and interests. Aang should have tried harder to make his other kids feel as special, but, as you said, he had to balance his fathering with the avatar job.

[@JHayes-lh7uv]

Forget Sokka and Zuko, if Katara saw Aang neglecting his children for even a second she woulda slapped the arrow off his head

[@vetarlittorf1807]

But he DIDN'T neglect his other kids. He just didn't have as strong of a bond with them as he did with Tenzin.

[@pizzapower3166]

@@vetarlittorf1807 So, you are implying that parents just have stronger bonds with one child over the other? Leave to a comment section full of people who know nothing of parenting to make these kinda assumptions. This is sickening.

[@vetarlittorf1807]

@@pizzapower3166 There's nothing sickening about a parent having a child that they have a stronger bond with over the other. And research shows that most parent have a favourite child even if they don't admit it.

[@pizzapower3166]

@@vetarlittorf1807 And, where did you get your sources from? WikiHow? The whole idea of "bonds" is a fundamentalist and metaphorical concept that has absolutely no place in actual psychology unless tested. It is physically impossible for a parent to have any more care towards a child and if there is, there is a problem. In a situation like this, it all depends on equity and equality. Equity is used to achieve equality but, when one area is receiving more than it needs and more than the others are getting, it leads to damaging affects on all sides, all but the distributer. I don't even need an actual article or source for this simply because it is what is happening in the series in broad daylight. Aang isn't the "sickening" one here. The loose concept of the psychology behind parenting you present is. People make this fatal flaw out to be like being forgetful or having an attitude but, if you just takeoff those rose tinted glasses, you'll see that these are the actions of someone associated with being selfish and ungrateful.

[@ashleightompkins3200]

Saying Aang is a bad father is like saying Naruto is a bad father simply because of what Boruto says. Naruto over-compensated with his affection in Boruto's early years because he didn't have parents so when he had to take on duties as the Hokage and as a Jinchurikki, Boruto lost that constant affection and attention and was probably too young to completely understand.

[@Al7249]

Thank you for saying that as someone who uses to watch Boruto and been through the whole Naruto is a bad father meme. Tbh it did always feel like the thought behind it was more logical and nuanced along with Boruto seeming kinda bratty with how he acted in general. Kinda gave the view of main character is always right syndrome unless you look at all the clues. Hopefully this makes sense

[@NinjaDude6040]

Thanks for making the comparison, it's the first thing I thought of. We've yet to see it with Aang, but with Naruto, we saw him acknowledge his flaws as a parent and make a vow to improve, which he does. I'm sure we'd see Aang do the same if Avatar Studios ever gets to it. Regardless, both fanbases continue to bash the material years later, ignoring the full context.

[@thecreatorofthedark]

But that's not what happened. Time and time again people pretend Boruto is being an entitled prick but he's not. The bar is on the floor. He wants his father to be present. Which time and again he's shown to not be. Even more insulting is the fact that every adult around him and his own sister (who's treatment is the reason he's regularly angry at his father) justify it. The man is a walking army but God forbid his son demand he be present for his daughter. God fucking forbid it.

[@ihatepower4580]

@@thecreatorofthedark naruto had clones, he could be present

[@thecreatorofthedark]

@@ihatepower4580 that's exactly why his son (and everyone around him) should be upset. The fact that the world gaslights the kid who doesn't even have his own god damn name for being upset that his father is absent, not even for his own sake he cares more about the fact that he's being absent for his sister then himself. It's baffling that so many Naruto fans agree with them too.

[@TheForgettableghost]

I'd also consider that children of the air nation were more independent in general. Being left alone for long periods of time/ being taught to take care of themselves from a young age. Aang even says himself that he traveled a lot and had friends from many nations in the og show. So I think he might have just expected the hands off approach to work because that's what he had growing up?

[@AraAraArisan]

Also do we not remember Aang was an air NOMAD-- RAISED BY MONKS. While we don't know how many kids came from the same parents but we do know they got grouped off. The boys weren't raised with the girls in Aang's temple. My assumption is that they grouped kids by gender for one. But also that they had separated groups for everyone to be able to fill roles without them over lapping or congesting one another. And while I'm sure Aang had his family together for certain things, he took Tenzin for his future role. A role in which he knew he was already burdening his one air bender child with. While Kaya and Bumi went with Katara or Sokka during these times. Kaya shows to be a healer like her mother, which in itself takes a lot of time and practice. Kaya and Bumi could've gone with Aang and Tenzin but lets be honest, if they couldn't bend air, some of the traditions may have seemed boring and monotonous considering they can't further apply it to their skills. Especially Bumi with his undying need for attention. I love that you mentioned Aang not coming from a normal nuclear family. You're one of thw very few to mention it

[@lachlanrussell18]

I think people who see Aang as an awful father are really looking back on ATLA with rose coloured glasses. They remember Aang's relentless optimism and childish innocence, but not how that made him fearful of responsibility to the point of running away from the air temple, or how it made him prone to a very childish processing of emotions like anger and jealousy. Avatar as a series has ALWAYS been about flawed but good characters, and the nuance of how projecting a puritan "commit one sin and you’re a bad person" type moral system onto everything is childish and something to be grown out of as we gain understanding of the world. Doing that very same projection onto Aang in order to bash TLOK for something it didn't say shows you've forgotten the lessons that ATLA taught you all those years ago; time for a rewatch!

[@theresahall5141]

He ran away because he was a child being expected to fulfill an adult role and couldn't even imagine how he could even begin to do this. Plus he lost everyone but one that remember that he was a person no matter what else he was and they wanted to take that person away from him. . They let fear win and lost out for it.

[@TheMengoMango]

What I also hate about the "Aang is a bad father" misinterpretation is that some of those same people believe that Katara should be the one to hold the "bad parent" title. Their reason being is that if their kids felt that way then Katara failed by not filling that void for them. Like wtf? I don't think I could ever see either of them being bad/abusive parents. You think Katara the mom of the group would be a bad mom?

[@theoriginalstarwalker4357]

Katara best mom

[@MarcelVos]

>You think Katara the mom of the group would be a bad mom? I think there are quite a few people who were nurturing as a teen but grew up to be bad parents. I don't think Katara was a bad mother, but I don't think that it would've been impossible just because she was the way she was in ATLA.

[@neptuniamarina4924]

Twitter doesn't allow Nuance. Everything is black, white and absolute there.

[@andalilbitqueer]

There's also the idea that Katara wouldn't allow Aang to be distant with their kids, but that argument is predicated on the idea that Katara wasn't able to empathize with Aang, which is sort of character assassination for her.

[@Johnny2Cellos]

Also built on the assumption that she didn't object or that there wasn't any conflict over these things.

[@Wright805]

Have you read Avatar: TLA Legacy? It includes a letter Katara wrote to Tenzin in which she describes how she and Aang were filled with joy when they learned he was an Airbender and Aang no longer had to carry the burden of being the last of his people. She states that nothing could make her happier and more proud than knowing the Airbenders' traditions would live on through him. Remember Katara was there when Aang reached the Air Temple and found Gyatsu's skeleton, when it fully hit him that his people had been exterminated and he was the last Airbender. She knew how much that pained him and she understood why he would need to devote more time to Tenzin.

[@alexthack]

Never saw Aang as a bad father, just a busy father. He was a world figure with immense responsibilities. Regarding the vacations, feel like Aang would have not excluded anyone, rather Kaya and Bumi chose to not go.

[@StonedHunter]

Also a few things to note in regards to this. 1, siblings assuming another is the favorite is pretty normal and common. 2, we only hear about those vacations and Tenzin's time with him (as in they don't ever say he was NEVER there for them so we don't know what the exact split of his time between the three really was). 3, memories are tricky because time and emotion can warp them so going off just what his kids remember is unreliable.

[@Shadow-xz4ir]

Legit. For a long time I thought my brother was my dad's favourite and my brother thought I was his. We ended up some point talking it out near senior year of high school and up. Was so funny how we both thought either was the favourite

[@Santoryu90]

Yeah I felt like people really exaggerated it. Aang wasn’t a perfect dad he did kinda play favorites but he wasn’t a terrible father and I can’t believe there are people who go as far to say he was a deadbeat or abusive father like what?

[@vetarlittorf1807]

If anyone was a bad parent, it was Toph. She pretty much admits it in the show. She never gave Lin enough approval and she let Suyin do whatever she wanted.

[@costelinha1867]

@@vetarlittorf1807 Indeed, but i also like how she does admit that she wasn't a good parent and reconciles with her family.

[@malcolmnicholas3528]

Parent not perfect

[@haileybalmer9722]

I read the title of this, and I thought it was going to go entirely in the other direction. I see people who are like “AANG WAS PERFECT, SHUT UP!” And no, he wasn’t. None of us are, that’s one of the big themes of Avatar. I agree with you 100%. Aang made mistakes, and he might have even been an absentee parent at times. He also had a lot on his plate, and the whole world relying on him. There are only so many hours in a day.

[@Mr.2Dirty]

I get that it’s the notion of Aang more than likely _did_ love all his kids, and I think Bumi and Kya knows this, but because Tenzin was the only Airbender other than Aang himself, he more than likely unconsciously favored him more. All I can say is that Aang more than likely wasn’t the best dad, I think that comes with the territory of trying to be a family man, while also having a responsibility over the whole damn world, but I do believe that Aang tried his best, and if the end result is to be believed, it worked out in the end.

[@Sonicfan138]

0:46 "Have we lost all sense of nuance in our media literacy?" As long as social media is around, yes.

[@madnessarcade7447]

Even If aang was like the perfect father people would have called him a crappy avatar for neglecting his duties and selfishly prioritized his family over the world so it would have been a lose lose with these fans either way

[@graciecat9694]

In-universe, AND in real life. TvT

[@gracekim25]

I’m glad you covered this😊 people really have misinterpreted Aang as a dad😣

[@costelinha1867]

Honestly, some people just really misinterpreted most of The Legend of Korra. I mean we have people who unironically think Korra is a copy of Aang, even though she's written to be his exact opposite.

[@gracekim25]

@@costelinha1867yeah 😅

[@G12G4]

I think we also forget there was a huge age difference between Bumi and his bender siblings. By the time he was well into his teens, Tenzin would have just started air bending and Kya would probably have shown signs of water bending. It's natural for much older siblings to feel a bit displaced and neglected when much younger siblings require more attention and then a degree of resentment if those younger siblings have particular traits that mean they really need the focus. But, let's say Tenzin was like Meelo and started showing airbending skills around the age of four or five. Bumi would be likely around 16 and Kya would be 8 or 9 and training with Katara, meaning she was getting a lot more focus from a different parent. It's very likely she went on trips Bumi and Tenzin didn't as she grew older and Aang took on training of Tenzin. Bumi, being the oldest by a lot, would've had a completely different experience with his parents as an only child. In the end, it just feels like this is normal family dynamics when there are age gaps and interest differences. If they were a modern family and these were hobbies - let's say Katara was into sewing and Kya was into that, Aang was into planes and Tenzin was daddy's little pilot, and teen Bumi was into sports, we would see the same thing. Even if they showed up for every game and supported him, Bumi would still feel less because his siblings a. need more attention and b. relate better to his parents in ways he just can't. It's not really a sign that anyone was loved less, but that it's very hard to give every child everything and no parent can do it perfectly.

[@PuppyPrincess]

I never saw Aang as a bad father. Rather, I saw him as a flawed father. One that, by choice or not, had a favorite child. He loved all his children equally, but only one was an Airbender and that made him happy, finally someone to carry the torch. Someone who he could teach all the ways of his people. But by doing so, he had to spend more time and attention on Tenzin and that, along with his duties as the avatar, made his other children feel neglected. He's human, and too often people forget that

[@joeker5208]

Reminds me of the same criticism that people say when they say Naruto, Sasuke, or Goku are bad dads. Having flaws as a character does not necessitate to a bad character, or a contradiction/bad writing

[@ShanaReviews]

Interesting how you bring up Aang's life with the Air Nomads because it reminds me of Goliath's upbringing with his clan in Gargoyles. In the show he explains that all "hatchlings" belong to the entire clan and that the children look to each of the elders as their mother and father and that no Gargoyle gives special treatment to 1 hatchling, even if it is their biological one. and this was an issue that led to Angela feeling the way Bumi and Kya felt towards Aang, because Goliath kept a distance from her as a parent, it made her feel unwanted and it was only after Goliath talked with Elisa's mother during one of their world tour adventures, that he learned about his mistake and decided to adapt and change his way of doing things given the circumstances, thus allowing him to have a better relationship with Angela. I'm certain that had Aang been able to do this with Kya and Bumi before his passing that it would have resulted in him repairing that relationship, probably faster than Goliath since Aang would have been devastated to learn his actions hurt those he loved (just look at how bad he felt when he lied to Katara and Sokka about their dad).

[@artabloom]

Like I'm happy a generation has been able to recognize actual abuse that's been normalized, but I don't think people recognize their own bias in interpreting pieces of stories. I think people hear a distant parent and project their own abandonment or experience with an absence parent.

[@candyisreading8813]

Also there was that lovely moment in the spirit world during LOK where Tenzin and Aang reckoned with how much pressure Tenzin was under to continue the air nation. He wasn't perfect but not a bad father by any means!

[@zigzackb2036]

Agree with everything that was said. When I hear that argument that he is a neglectful father, I always feel like if he was, he was not aware of it and it was never intentional. I get the feeling that if Aang got any impression that he was not being a present father, either from Kiya, Bumi or Katara, he would have course corrected IMMEDIATELY.

[@Name-ru3di]

I think it's kinda telling of people's unrealistic expectations of parenting as a whole. Making Aang a flawed parent is reasonable considering his role as a father, Air nomad and avatar. You can still love your kids and have short comings no parent is absolutely perfect. Sometimes you are put in circumstances outside of your control, past traumas can effect you in a number of ways, and ultimately you try to do your best with it. That's what Aang did which by no means makes him a terrible father, just an imperfect one, which is understandable considering his role and his trauma.

[@b.h.4249]

Seriously, how incredibly sheltered does a person have to be to demand a parent to be perfect? Nobody is, especially when they're a person with such huge responsibilities.

[@yesimsureienteredmynamecorrect]

Damn I had absolutely no idea anyone thought Aang was portrayed as a bad father. If anything, I was disappointed we couldn't experience adult Aang. This video reminds me how much I loved ATLA and the care that went into every single characters personality and presentation.

[@MysteriousTomJenkins]

On the subject of people not noticing or caring about Aang's trauma, I saw a tumblr post a while ago talking about how Aang was unwilling to kill the Firelord and it brought up a good point. Besides the fact that it heavily conflicted with his morals, it also conflicted with his culture, his people wouldn't kill someone so by killing Ozai, he's essentially throwing away another bit of his culture which, given how he is currently the last Airbender, would be pretty damn hard to get over. So besides the fact that a kid has to wrestle with the idea of killing someone (even adults would struggle with that), he also has to wrestle with the idea that he is betraying the beliefs of his culture, a culture that is now only alive because of him. People are aware that his people suffered a genocide but don't seem to realize the implications, that Aang, his Airbending equipment and Appa are the last living link to his culture and people so any possibility of losing any bit of that would be unthinkable to Aang. It is what makes me frustrated hearing that director commentary for Korra where they describe Appa as "Just Aang's bison" as if he isn't a cherished friend and another link to an endangered culture. Even the writing staff fail to understand the full weight on Aang's shoulders.

[@aacsmiles]

*reads title* Yes! Vindication! Okay, now that I’ve watched the video, I have to say that, while I love that atla has lived on, one thing I hate about the current fandom is how weird people are about Aang. I feel like, if a protagonist doesn’t make the 100% correct choice 100% of the time, people will call them some buzzword. And if there’s a situation where there isn’t a right answer, like what to do with the long-established fire nation colonies, don’t worry, the fans will make one up. (I’ve seriously seen people saying killing the fire nation civilians in the Jet episode was the morally correct thing to do. I’ve also seen someone say Aang, Katara, and Sokka “never felt the effects of fire nation colonization.” Like, what?) Some people can’t seem to wrap their head around a complex situation and a nuanced character.

[@mirage9816]

"Never felt the effect of Fire Nation Colonization" Huh? What? You saw that somewhere? There are people who've actually said and believed that? Correct me if I'm wrong but ah...I do believe actually genocide is a pretty fucking extreme effect that was felt by Aang...The ah...The LAST Airbender? People make some pretty absurd claims!

[@aacsmiles]

@@mirage9816 yeah it was in a tumblr post about how Jet should have lived so he could tell the characters what to do about the colonies because he was “the only character who had to live with the effects of fire nation colonialism.” I brought that up specifically bc I saw it the other day and it really stuck in my craw. Like, the air nation was complete wiped out and the southern water tribe was barely surviving and had to deal with repeated raids, but the characters from these places never dealt with the effects of colonialism.

[@mirage9816]

@@aacsmiles Yeah, and if the crux of their statement was "Jet was the only character who experienced the effects of Fire Nation Colonization" Did they miss the fact that OVER THE COURSE OF THE SHOW we see Ba Sing Se and Omashu get taken over by the fire nation? Like cmon man

[@someguyontheinternet604]

​@@aacsmiles I wish Jet lived to see that not every fire nation citizen was bad, but yeah, those people making that fire nation colonialism claim didn't pay attention.

[@wandeesthoughts]

Ever since I've stumbled accross the "no siblings have the same parents" discourse I'm glad to see someone defend Aang in the sea of people shitting on his parenting

[@artistfloor9]

It’s annoying how so many people gush over the nuance of Zuko and then turn around and get upset about adult Aang’s flaws and call it bad writing. I think it’s because they have a very simplistic view of character development and storytelling in general. To them, the children in ATLA had some flaws that they were able to completely overcome by the end of the show. They had reached their “final form” by the last episode and then just stayed perfect for the rest of their lives. Surely Aang must’ve learned all his lessons by age 13, always made the right decisions going forward, and became a perfect father in spite of everything he went through as well as his extremely demanding role as the Avatar. TLOK had the guts to say that these characters continued to change and make mistakes even after the credits rolled. This made some people angry because it didn’t line up with their own idyllic head-canon.

[@HuneyBunches]

if anything, I'm reassured that Aang wasn't perfect as a father. There was no way a 12 y/o was going to realistically stay the same way for another 50 years.

[@stephaniewilliams6756]

Yeah people are seriously airheaded online. We only saw a small fraction of his life, one year of 60ish

[@Mathue360]

People were definitely projecting their own parental experiences with this one. Aang the same kid who could not kill the literal tyrant who slaughtered his people due to his belief/culture wouldn't be excited to have a child to share said culture with.

[@MJTRadio]

Wonderful stuff as always. As someone who's love of Korra and its own nuances both together with and hand in hand with Avatar's, it's really fantastic to hear a positive, well informed take on this kind of stuff.

[@abthedragon4921]

Thank you, everything in this video! People arguing Aang as a father was "character assassination" or "Aang would never be such a neglectful father" is so ridiculous and I still see it years after Legend of Korra ended. You made a lot of good points in the video and another point I also think is important that I saw brought up years ago is that Aang had another aspect of his legacy to consider. When Aang died, not only would Tenzin then be the sole airbender (and thus have the responsibility of preserving the nation's culture) but he would also have the responsibility of teaching airbending to the next Avatar! That is a crazy responsibility for someone to have so it makes sense that Aang spent all that time with Tenzin to make sure he was prepared. Also I think this discourse about Aang's character partially stems from how the fanbase glorifies the series a little too much. Now, don't get me wrong, Avatar the Last Airbender was and still is an amazing series, one of the best Nickelodeon ever made but it's not perfect because no show is. And I feel like fans sometimes put it on a bit too high of a pedestal and that partially leads to mentalities like the one about Aang among others.

[@tiredgirl1656]

Legend of Korra gets wayyyy more flak than I think is warranted - thanks for this fantastic video!

[@costelinha1867]

And many of those complaints are just exagerations or flat out misinterpretations like the "Aang is a bad parent" one.

[@sauciefellow1105]

Legend of Kora and everything released since the end of the original airing hasn’t been able to catch the same magic. I’m happy you enjoyed it but I found it painfully difficult to get through. I would’ve been happier if they would’ve left it alone and never returned to it.

[@costelinha1867]

Yeah, but to be fair, I don't really want it to capture the same magic as the originals. One ATLA is all I need. I just want more stories in that universe, and so far I'm happy with what I got. But I totally understand if you didn't like it, TLOK is a flawed show after all.

[@coldbrewmoffiecomedy]

As a gay, I don't think it's always entirely correct to say that queer acceptance indicates a non-abusive parent. Some people can be fully evil without being homophobes❤

[@Gemnist98]

*cough* Dick Cheney *cough* But in all seriousness, Kya still seems to have a positive perspective on Aang, so he clearly could not have been abusive.

[@graciecat9694]

Immediately, I thought of Odaliah Blight. XD

[@cutiemcgee1187]

It's important to know, Ang one didn't grow up with a traditional family. Agreed, he's more human than God like. I think they were able to paint him is matured and trying to handle something with little to no guide to a new millennium let alone generation. I think he did the best he could of done. Busy, that's all Ang was. Plus, when you encounter another air bender in person, you try to understand as much as you could. It's breaking the chain, and no one said it would be clean cut.

[@ZekromAndYugiAndDrago123]

Toph becoming a cop was infinitely worse then anything LoK did with Aang. He's honestly not that bad of a father considering the circumstances.

[@Johnny2Cellos]

I think the Toph thing is a very american-centric complaint tbh. It feels a lot more complicated than people make it out to be. Maybe I'll unpack that in a video in the future too

[@martophrenia]

eh, we don't necessarily know the circumstances in which she took that job and considering how at peace she was leaving that life behind we can assume she didn't particularly enjoyed the responsibilities

[@matti.8465]

@@Johnny2Cellos I think people are more upset about their favorite character becoming a cop than anything else. I get it, but it's super subjective.

[@costelinha1867]

I fail to see the problem with Toph being a cop, she does later regret being so, also it's completely foolish to expect Toph to maintain her disdain for authority that she had in ATLA after becomming an adult, and spending years working with the Avatar, who is by definition, like it or not, A FIGURE OF GLOBAL AUTHORITY! There's literally a comic exploring Toph's conflicted feelings about becomming a figure of authorty. It's simply foolish to expect an adult Toph to have the same opinions, and behave the same way that she did when she was 12 years old.

[@flyingpastakitty]

I mean, Aang didn't grow up with a mother and father. He was raised by the Monks. Plus, as the last Airbender, of course he'd be giving the most attention to his airbending son. He didn't exclude his other kids out of malice. Plus, Aang probably felt a ton of pressure to make sure that his son learned as much about Airbending as possible. I'm not excusing his terrible parenting. I'm just saying, I can see the reason why he did what he did.

[@disturbedwaffles6653]

I think it's funny how fans of a series with some of the most nuanced characters struggle to accept that the main character had flaws. I always loved how The Legend of Korra humanized Aang and showed how he wasn't a perfect person.

[@foxqueen6214]

Im glad you made this video, I couldn't click on the notification fast enough! I love how they portrayed Aang in LOK, I was scared theyd make him a perfect character and I think they portrayed him well as a flawed father who was doing his best. He obviously loved all 3 of his kids and wanted the best for them, and all 3 turned out amazing and influential people! Pobodys Nerfect, including Avatar Aang

[@MrJesse4792]

Fact of the matter is the fact that Aang real wanted to restart the Air nation if our culture didn't cringe at the idea I seriously believe that Aang would have started a Harem of sorts with the new nomads just to try get many new benders.

[@alexanderklepp]

Excellent job! Nuance is sadly something that seems to be lost nowadays thanks to the Internet and it’s nice to see people call that out and put more nuance out there. Aang wasn’t a perfect father but he wasn’t an abusive one.

[@Choshako]

I think most people do actually like their characters to be morally nuanced, unfortunately, every single fanbase is gonna have toxic, Karens who overreact to some characters' flaws by calling it "character assassination," which I'm not even sure is really a thing. Even "good" characters, and people, can do terrible things regardless of intention, that isn't character assassination, that just means they aren't a two-dimension character/person.

[@neilyoungboy]

I wonder if Tenzin ever noticed the cruel irony of his existence. If Aang had never turned his back on his Avatar status and his people by running away, then he never would have been frozen in that iceberg and never would have met Katara, which means that Tenzin, his siblings and children would never have been born.

[@jordanloux3883]

Tenzin: My father had more responsibility placed on his shoulders as a child than I've never faced in all my years. I imagine, if the roles were reversed, I probably would have made the same choices...

[@lern2reed]

I can’t wait for people to start calling it backpedaling or a retcon when the relationship between Aang and his family gets fleshed out.

[@ThePrincessCH]

There's also criticisms about how little Katara contributed to the family dynamic, but I find that she has more influence than most people think. They mention about how Aang monopolized Tenzin, but the latter's situation mirrors Katara's more closely, the Katara who lectured her brother about the importance of bending to their culture, who was so pleased to connect to a fellow bender when she came across Aang, who argued that Haru shouldn't give up on Earthbending because it was crucial to his identity, and who wanted to learn from Hama because of their shared "heritage". And the idea of bending being a cultural identifier would certainly hit different on a non-bender of mixed heritage like Bumi and Kya probably didn't get as much attention as Tenzin because she had all the opportunities Katara would have had were it not for the war.

[@matthewterlaga3022]

There are a lot of really terrible things to not like Legend of Korra for, but how they treated Aang isn’t one of them.

[@Johnny2Cellos]

Don't agree with the first part ;)

[@matthewterlaga3022]

@@Johnny2Cellos I’m sorry, but the show breaks it’s own universes rules and just straight up makes things up. Telepathic blood bending? Go straight to hell

[@costelinha1867]

@@matthewterlaga3022 Telepathic Blood Bending is not breaking rules, just establishing new ones. Also Combustion Bending is literally described as "Firebending with your mind". So it makes sense that other elements have access to similar feats. Not to mention Bumi (The OG one, not Aang's son) being able to bend earth by just slightly moving his head, in a similar way to how Amon was able to bloodbend with small gestures. This is NOT breaking the universe rules, also keep in mind that there was ONLY ONE EPISODE exploring that really explored Bloodbending in ATLA, so we don't EVEN REALLY KNOW the rules, all the rules we know were from the experiences of two people, TWO PEOPLE!

[@matthewterlaga3022]

@@costelinha1867 and in that episode they made it perfectly clear that developing blood bending literally took Hama decades and under very specific circumstances. And that she could only do it during the full moon. The only other person in the world she taught it too was Katara, and she sure as hell wouldn’t have taught it to anyone else, she thought of it as a violation. It should have died with Katara, but instead they ruin that episode and the entire concept by giving it to some random nobody who can not only do it during the day but with his mind? Yeah no, they clearly didn’t care about their own lore. And that bit about Bumi being able to earth end with his face? It’s because he is the greatest earth bender in the world, the only one who could match him was toph, there was a comic where they fought and it was a draw, with both acknowledging the other as the worlds greatest earth bender. So unless Amon and his dad are the single greatest water benders who ever lived, you’re talking out of your ass.

[@costelinha1867]

@@matthewterlaga3022 Yeah, it took Hama decades, Katara did it much shortly because she had it as a teacher, and again it took HAMA AND KATARA the full moon cuz they didn't have enough information about Bloodbending as it was still a extremely new discipline. Also just because Katara didn't taught it to anybody doesn't mean other people didn't figure it out eventually, if Hama can figure it out by herself it stands to reason other people can. Also you don't need to be the "Best x bender of all time" in order to bend with your mind, if anything the Combustion Bender who we know LITERALLY NOTHING ABOUT proves that. It clearly just takes practise, not to mention some benders (Like Amon as shown in the flashbacks) are just naturally gifted with bending. And again, AMON HAD A FATHER WHO KNEW BLOODBENDING TO TEACH HIM, and unlike Katara who avoided bloodbending like a plague after ATLA, YAKONE KEPT STUDYING IT! Thus he became BETTER THAN KATARA, at bloodbending, he eventually figured out how bloodbend without the full-moon and even bloodbending with his mind, which he promptly taught to his sons. And yeah they absolutely care about their lore, it's not their fault if people like you misinterpret said lore. Again, Yakone is BETTER than Katara as a bloodbender, because UNLIKE Katara he actually kept studying, and let's face it, he probably didn't learn it by himself, like I said, someone would eventually find out about Bloodbending by himself, either trough practise or natural talent. That person probably taught Yakone, who then perfected Bloodbending. We didn't really HAD rules about bloodbending in ATLA, other than the vague "You need the fullmoon to do so" and some even theorize that in the second time Katara used it, it wasn't even a night of full-moon to begin with. They didn't have enough information about bloodbending to determine what the ACTUAL rules for it were, just vague suggestions based on the experience OF ONLY TWO PEOPLE! two people will never be enough to determine the rules of an entire discipline of a magic system. Rules weren't violated, cuz there weren't real rules to begin with, just suggestions. And again that stupid "Best earthbender of all time" argument is stupid, cuz AGAIN Combustion Bender exist, and we most certainly never heard HIM being callde the "Greatest firebender of all time", hell most information seems to agree that the most powerful firebender in ATLA was Ozai. Like I said, the writers DID care about the lore, but it's not their fault if some people just constantly misinterpret said lore. I'm not talking of my ass, you are. Also the existance of Toph which you used to compare to Bumi only serves to prove that it IS possible for a person with less training to reach similar heights just trough talent. Toph IS THE LITERAL PROOF OF THIS, SHE'S A 12 YEAR OLD WHO INVENTED A NEW SCHOOL OF BENDING! Thus, it is also possible for a person like Yakone to learn bloodbending, probably trough sheer talent, as he clearly must have been a talented bender to pick up Bloodbending, and eventually surpass people who were used as reference in said school of bending. (Which he did.) specially when one of those masters is dead, and the other literally stoped practising that form of bending YEARS AGO! Like I said, Toph was able to pick up Metalbending by herself with very little information, it stands to reason that other people would pick up similarly obscure forms of bending like Bloodbending in similar ways, by just pure deduction.

[@illam9500]

I've dealt with daddy and mommy issues throughout my life with my mother being neglectful and my father having a temper that often was directed towards me. I never ever got the sense that aang was a bad father and I think people who saw it that way just had a bunch of shit they were projecting

[@madnessarcade7447]

People say that aang was behaving out of character but is it really out of character We got to know aang as a kid we barely got to see his life as an adult we don’t really know adult aang we know he’s a good person and a great avatar but we don’t really KNOW him Also a lot of us aren’t the same people we were as kids Even if aang was flawless people would just call him a gary Stu and dismiss him Isn’t behaving out of character like really relatable Why do people do dramatic gasps when a character does something out of character as if we haven’t behaved out of character at least once in our lives irl

[@DarkShadow-hy6iq]

People: *wanting character flaws* Also them when characters are given flaws: THEY'RE SUCH A HORRIBLE PERSON!

[@christopherballero866]

I think all parents that are involved with their kids have a favorite and it's natural. Aang had a lot to deal with and it made sense for Aang to favor his 1 airbending child. It's not like Aang was ever bad to any of his kids. I'm pretty sure even Katara had a favorite and showed favoritism as she too was the last of her kind and had difficulty balancing her various responsibilities

[@1995robin]

Kya was probably her favorite, her only water bending kid

[@haileybalmer9722]

Bumbum, I was going to say, it’s pretty clear the Kya was Katara’s protege and Bumi was a little bit more left to his own devices.

[@christopherballero866]

@@haileybalmer9722 Bumi got unlucky having no bending so Aang & Katara might not have seen an reason to teach him about bending. Though I can't say perhaps Sokka decided to teach him defense

[@bornanime3255]

The show could've easily rectified all this by just providing more scenes of the ATLA crew during the time skip. Korra has a flaw as a sequel series in that is a fairly bad one. By this I don't mean that it is a bad show, but that as a sequel to a prior show or fails. The time jump off huge and we miss out on a lot of context and looks into what the old crew was up to. Most of the flash backs we get are good at giving us a but of insight, but there are so many gaps and questions that Korra raised. Why did Toph become a cop? What was it like for Aang and Kitara as parents? Where is Suki? Who did Zuko marry? Did Zuko and Aang just build republic city and that's it? Are we gonna find out what happened to Zuko's Mom? Who is Toph's husband? What about all the fun side characters? What happened to the bolder and that whole wrestling thing? etc

[@kacklina]

The thing now days is that if a character is not perfectly good he should be terrible, huge difference as a characters, but is the same problem I have when people says Homer Simpson was always a terrible father.

[@jordanloux3883]

Shockingly, this time the focus is on a MALE character. Normally its female characters that get a disproportionate amount of hate. Look at Skyler White.

[@kacklina]

@@jordanloux3883 no, no, I totally agree with what you said, is even harder when a female character is flawed. Like even for real people like youtubers

[@noremac7216]

I get why kids think this but I feel like adults should be able to grasp the nuance. Aang was not a perfect father, that doesn't immediately make him a bad father. He failed his kids in some ways giving too much attention to Tenzin and putting too much pressure on him while neglecting some of the emotional needs of Bumi and Kaya. But all of his children knew he loved them, he provided for his family, and he was an excellent role model. Making him a flawed character who could have done better doesn't mean he was a bad parent it just means he was human.

[@martophrenia]

I fucking hate twitter, bro Everything is black and white, noting is nuanced The online discourse about Korra also doesn't really help, thank you for providing another point of view)

[@limnakama]

I don't know what has happened in the last decade, but it feels like a lot of people don't know what nuance is anymore. Nowadays people get so upset when things aren't explicitly stated, or jump to conclusions based on surface level observations. It's so annoying, and the arguments for Aang being a terriible father is a great example of this issue

[@shrederman9838]

The Avatar is still human, that was almost the entire point of the whole first season of AtlA

[@WatashiMachineFullCycle]

I really love the points you went on about how viewers paint media in black and white and need to have characters held up to be flawless - I'm neck deep in house of the dragon right now and it's WILD seeing people take this show - which is touted as having a morally grey cast of characters who are ALL capable of great and horrible acts, and DIVE through hoops to take a "side", acting hostile to people who like the other "side" and ironically missing the entire point of the conflict HOTD is trying to write. I never actually cared much for Korra but I LOVE Avatar, it is one of my favourite animated series, and Aang is one of my favourite protagonists ever, but if he had no flaws or shortcomings in his adult life it just wouldn't be believable to me. To be human is to be flawed. What we KNOW is that Aang is compassionate and caring, it is the very core of his character. I think the writers were trusting us to know that despite these stories of his failures in parenting, we as the audience would KNOW that he was trying his best, and loved his children dearly.

[@porobotboyxxx]

** Why would anybody think that?! *o__O*

[@Choshako]

If you saw the episode where Aang's three adult children argue, you might see. Aang spent much more time with Tenzin, the only airbender out of the three, more than Bumi and Kya, which they understandably have a lot of resentment over.

[@Al7249]

Same bro same. Until I saw the thumbnail and people posting about it. Like this actually happens IRL with parents having favorites and sudden and automatically makes Aang a bad dad? Like what

[@gracekim25]

People are stupid, that’s why 😅

[@gracekim25]

@@Al7249 yeah for some reason the fact that he spent more time with Tenzin (which we ALL know the reason as to WHY) apparently makes him an asshole 🤨🤷‍♀️

[@starrsmith3810]

We’ve seen abusive fathers in this franchise…..Aang isn’t one of them. Guilty of being flawed sure but he’s no Ozai.

[@Gigawolf1]

This is basically my thought process whenever somebody describes Aang as a bad father

[@blakethebeast3174]

Excellent video and it's nice to see someone sticking up for Aang without dismissing him as a flawed and believable character, that's what has made the series as popular as it is. One thing I hope that will be explored in later media in the franchise that may account for Aang's parenting and his children different views on him is the fact that all of them are at least five years apart in age with Tenzin not only being the only airbender but the baby of the family. I always thought that if Aang took Tenzin on their trips when he was around twelve or so that would mean that Bumi would be 21-22 and possibly serving in the United Republic forces and Kya would be 16-17 and maybe not as inclined to accompany Aang on family trips, maybe preferring to learn with her mother. So instead of Aang just straight up ignoring he probably didn't want to stifle them and let them do their own thing, y'know, that Air equals freedom deal. Not that I think they're lying, of course, but just like Tenzin they're middle-aged people who may not have 100% accurate memories. Tenzin did counter that Bumi always acted immature despite being the oldest and Kya never could stay put until Aang's death, again, probably not entirely accurate but may also be truthful from what we know of the characters. I just can't see Aang excluding his children from these trips if they were younger than my projected ages just because they weren't airbenders, the most important trip Aang took in his life started with a waterbender and nonbender, right?

[@the_owtcast8889]

Never watched legend of korra/saw what happened to Aang. Thank you as always, for getting me up to speed on my childhood.

[@LiamDaLemon]

Also notice how Kaya says she could never remember the names of all the air monks and how Bumi responds to being taught and meditation after he gains air bending. Aang very likely tried to teach them about air nomad culture but didn't force it on them. And he not only had the pressure of the air nation on his shoulders, but Tenzin was literally set to be that only person who could possibly teach the next avatar air bending. That was a huge pressure in maintaining balance for them both. I bet Aang was fun loving and affectionate with his kids, just not as present as he might have been had he not had all these other responsibilities to the world.

[@ciattathompson7461]

Plus they're talking from a child's perspective. I wonder how they would have felt being able to talk to Aang as adults?

[@Al7249]

Yeah that would've been interesting. Or just learning about how they were kids from Katara and tbh her own perspective on things.

[@ciattathompson7461]

@@Al7249 Definitely! Things I understood as a child changed after being able to speak to my mom as an adult. She apologized for how she handled certain situations and I got to forgive her. Everyone is just doing their best in each moment.

[@Al7249]

@@ciattathompson7461 yeah. Same with my parents as well. Personally didn't care much about that within the show since it seemed like a one-off episode that didn't much effect the overall plot. Which kinda explains the lack of steep emotional reaction with the situation.

[@Battle_Bunn1e]

Exactly Aang was literally the last survivor of a genocide until Tenzen was confirmed as a air bender. The two of them reforging and carrying on their traditions of a culture and traditions that was almost completely eradicated for a damn century. In addition to literally being the bridge between the living and spiritual world , and keeping the peace among the different nations.

[@MG-xs6kq]

A similar video about Toph as a mother would be great!

[@yashaoftheflames8475]

Aanga fans: I'm tired of people saying our goat is a bad father. Goku fans: First time?

[@romanov3937]

Aang was never a terrible father, he was just extremely busy.

[@jablinski_time]

That's literally what a bad dad is.

[@Johnny2Cellos]

glad to see my discussion about nuance was ignored already lmao

[@Al7249]

@@jablinski_time yes. Because being busy is the same as being verbally, mentally, emotionally and physically abusive towards their child. Being busy is a REASON! Sometimes not a good one but a reason given the circumstances and situation.

[@gracekim25]

@@jablinski_time no it’s not

[@gracekim25]

@@jablinski_time do you have a brain, mate? Do you fail to comprehend the very IDEA that humans are complex? Are you that egotistical and STUPID to ignore the point of this video? If you are the latter, leave. It’s clear you’re so dumb, you’re stagnant 😑 You seem to fail to understand the difference between someone who’s busy but hardworking with abuse. You clearly don’t know what a ‘bad father’ even IS! Go back to school!

[@atavious2491]

I can only imagine Katara being an over protective mother over Kya and Bumi while Aang was off with Tenzin. Kya could've constantly been compared to her mother to a point where maybe Kya in her later years developed a inner resentment towards her. Maybe she got into some kind of trouble where Katara had to come and save her, and later on the same thing with Kya saving her mom. Katara lost a mother once. She will do anything in her power to make sure the same thing doesn't happen again with herself or her children. Seeing Bumi in Korra made me think that he had a good connection with his uncle Saka. Just like Iroh and Zuko, maybe Bumi and Saka did activities or went on missions together and maybe the uncle taught his nephew how to throw boomerangs and weld a sword. People forget that Toph, and I think Zuko also had a break up with their spouses that really torn their children apart. Toph especially didn't have a good relationship with her daughters Suyin and Lin. I don't think they make a proper immense at the end of the show and that's quite sad. Although I would say that whereas Toph failed as a mother, she might've excelled as a grandmother when in the care of Opal. Feeling somewhat pleased to see that her own granddaughter was more of a grown woman than her own two daughters.

[@PinkiemachineStudios]

You make a lot of great points in this video. Obviously we don’t have enough information to say exactly how good or bad of a father Aang ultimately was, we just have these small snippets from his kids, venting their frustrations about personal feelings. And yes, the odds were stacked against Aang with all of his responsibilities and (probably) eagerness to share the airbending culture with Tensin, and those people who say he was abusive… I’m not entirely sure where they’re getting their information… but I do understand why people were upset, and it absolutely has to do with the writing choices in Korra. Now, let’s not open the whole can of worms right now, let’s stay on topic, please, I’m just talking about these scenes here. Now, for any sequel-movie, series, or otherwise-there’s a tricky balance you have to achieve of respecting the past and pushing forward into the future. Obviously, the story is about the new characters, so we don’t want to keep bringing up the old characters too much to the point where we might as well have made the series about them instead, but we also can’t ignore them. Korra fluctuates on this, sometimes good, sometimes not so good, but this scene specifically… yeah, I can understand why it left such a bad taste in some fans’ mouths. See, the fact that we know SO LITTLE about Aang as a parent-even just as an Adult-gives us almost no frame of reference for… anything. When we last left Aang, he had saved the world, he got the girl, and they all lived happily ever after, the end. And then Korra comes along and says, actually Toph had marriage and parenting troubles galore, Sokka and Suki? Who are they? Aang? Oh, right, Aang! Yeah he played favourites with his kids. Obviously there’s so much room for good things to have happened over the course of the Gaang’s adult lives, but the way Korra frames it, leaves a bad taste in the audience’s mouth. They show us a lot more negative than positive. I think the episode in question might have benefitted from some flashbacks where the characters recount good things about Daddy Aang, showing that, yes he was an overall good dad, he just had some flaws and struggles. It’s all about how you show it. Show don’t tell. Also, no you cannot just assume that the audience will pick up the slack and understand all the “nuances.” You need to show them-help them connect the dots a little if need be-why things turned out the way they did. This isn’t a small thing, it’s a huge leap-a leap in time, a leap in character change, and a leap in culture! Otherwise, it looks like you’re pulling character choices out of your backside. You can’t just walk up to someone and say “Aang, the sweet and loveable, nurturing kid from Avatar that you love, played favourites with his kids! And Now they resent him for it!!!” You have to say, “Aang, who had a lot of responsibilities and was a first time parent, and perhaps was over eager to raise the only other Airbender in existence, might have gotten a little carried away and his other two kids felt like he loved Tensin more, even if that wasn’t entirely the case, it definitly felt that way growing up.” The audience can be very intelligent, but hoping that the audience will be intelligent enough to make up for what is, honestly, sloppy (or at the very least rushed) writing, does not make a great case for you. All they needed was ONE SCENE to help the audience understand A) what Aang was up against and B) that not everything is black and white. The WRITING lacks nuance, even if the ideas BEHIND the writing don’t. To sum up, I’d like to share one of Pixar’s rules of storytelling: #2, you gotta keep in mind what’s interesting to you as an audience. Not what’s fun for you as a writer. They can be very different. This is a rule that Korra sorely needs. Anyway, that’s my two cents.

[@Johnny2Cellos]

The writing does not lack nuance, spelling it out directly like you suggest would be lacking nuance. The episode is actually incredibly nuanced in how it portrays the characters IN THE SHOW. We see so many different dynamics between Bumi, Kya and Tenzin. Between the Aang favoritism, and the fact that Bumi isn’t a bender, Kya feeling responsibility to help Katara after Aang dies, and how all of those things affected the people they all became. The show isn’t ABOUT Aang. These episodes are about his kids. So, no, I don’t really agree with that assessment. Coddling the audience is weak ass writing

[@petthequeenofmaddness8592]

@@Johnny2Cellos Who was he supposed to learn from he was a kid and had to fight wars you can't forget he was the Last air bender who else was Tenzin supposed to learn air bending from it sounds like Aang died first and if it was an illness then he might have not had much time.

[@sagathekawaiikilla]

I love the strong plutonic friendship of katara and zuko - she hated his guts , could see he wasn’t a bad person at the start- but their friendship became the strongest and deepest so fast maybe cause they both understand the pain his people caused.

[@ChevaliersEmeraude]

With all due respect to you and your video, your repeat of "it makes senses he would be like this because of this reason", it feels more like an explanation as to why he would be a bad father than a disproving of it. Now I agree that calling his an "abusive father" is ridiculous! But based on the facts at hand I could would call him "neglectful", and I don't think I would be wrong. Just because he had reasons to be that way doesn't mean it's not the case.

[@Johnny2Cellos]

Yeah, his neglect is a flaw! He's a flawed father! Rooted in his character journey, insecurities and trauamas. But calling him terrible bc we know about one aspect of his shortcomings as a father is really jumping the gun.

[@AshoreNevermore]

Mild Neglect ≠ Abuse. Neglect CAN be abuse; some rectangles ARE squares. This one is not.

[@greendiamondglow]

Either Aang was a terrible father, or Kya and Bumi were BOTH lying and faking their father issues well into their retirement years. Frankly, I think Aang's selfishness and self-involvedness was firmly established in ATLA (however unintentionally), and I'm inclined to believe Kya and Bumi. Tenzin was clearly the golden child and they were left to fend for themselves. Aang's fathering was shades of Ozai (which would have been interesting if it had been intentional), and it's just hardly addressed. We're just supposed to still be on Aang's side. Aang was always my least favorite character, but LoK sealed my absolute hatred of him. How Bryke chose to depict a mixed culture family was insanely tone-deaf. Tenzin doesn't even acknowledge his Water Tribe heritage, and Bumi didn't feel included in AN culture until airbending was forced on him in middle age. And just screw Kya, I guess...

[@minutemansam3122]

False dichotomy. You failed to understand the point of that episode. Tenzin had an idealistic view of his father, and Kya and Bumi felt their father had favored Tenzin. By the end of the episode, Tenzin realized that his father wasn't the perfect paragon, and Kya and Bumi realized that Aang loved them deeply and wasn't as neglectful as they were making it out to be. In the end they all agreed that they had a great family.

[@costelinha1867]

Someone unironically calling Aang an abusive father? Just shows that this person has no idea of what actual abuse looks like. And for fuck sake WE SALL FIRELORD OZAI IN ATLA, WE HAD AN EXAMPLE IN THE PREVIOUS SHOW OF WHAT ACTUAL ABUSIVE PARENTING LOOKS LIKE!

[@GhostlyFyre]

Does Korra retcon Aang to have a “character assassination” with him being a terrible father? Short answer no, it’s instead a natural progression with him having tunnel vision on Tenzin. (I made this comment before watching the video and thank Johnny 2 Cellos to agree)

[@MrEffectfilms]

When people grow attached to a character they will imagine their own versions of those characters future. People who loved Aang don't want to know that he continues to develop flaws later in life, they want to continue putting him up on a pedestal and imagine him as a near perfect person. Aang never had a father and more importantly was dedicated to the restoration of his culture. Aang was a husband, a father, the last Airbender, and he was the Avatar. That's a lot for anyone to handle especially someone who wouldn't know how to handle at least 2 of those things. And yes people do brush past the trauma Aang suffered though it's not really their fault because the show does this too, I guess not wanting things to get too dark with their main character (something the Netflix series does much better with).

[@sjmhadsock4586]

Yes people are afraid of characters having flaws

[@Deedo_67]

I don’t agree with the idea that he’s an abusive father, but I can not picture Aang having a favorite kid or not making time for his family. It does not line up with his character. If anything I think his family would make it were he didn’t make time for avatar duties.

[@arnowisp6244]

Exactly or better yet. He tried to have his family together but Tenzin being a Natural Air bender caused a riff between the Siblings since they felt like Tenzin was the favorite. Like even if they were together and not left behind (ember Island) Tenzin natural abilities already create that rift Aang tried to patch.

[@Darkstar1484]

I have had the terrible father argument with friends about Aang and more or less agree that he is a flawed and imperfect father but not a terrible or abusive one. Also being the last airbender probably warped some of his perceptions of responsibilities (and in turn made his airbending son a character that I kind of love to hate in Korra)

[@terencemcfadden7466]

I think it should be said that you don’t have to have a bad parent to have resentments for them. My parents didn’t always make the best Decision but there’s no doubt they tried their best. That’s kind of what I like about Kya and Bumis character, like they know they can’t really BLAME their father for how they were treated compared to tenzin but they don’t have to be happy about it.

[@Otakulifeforme]

I had never said ang was terrible father just that he wasn’t a good father he neglected all his children that weren’t airbenders that’s not what a father should do but to say he was Terrible father is wrong he did his best for his childrend and he loved his childrend and he was very supportive of his children later in their life but when they were kids he neglected them and favored his son who was a airbender