No-Buy Year Update: Facing Challenges & Battling Control

[@spreadbookjoy]

I’ve been really trying to take control of my spending this year and so far it’s going well. I’ve actually been finding it fun to try and be as creative as possible with what I already own or with acquiring books I need. I’ve been feeling like it’s giving me control rather than taking it away. I get what you mean about appearing to be flexible but actually internally being far from ok when things are disrupted. I’m very much the same.

[@Dillon__Morris]

The no buy year is a great idea! I think buying books can get out of hand easily and it’s why I don’t do book hauls. It also gives me a sense of accomplishment seeing more read books on my shelves. Good luck continuing your no buy year!

[@Shellyish]

Thank you, Dillon!!

[@citydoll22]

so funny, I also everytime I shopped online for something that I needed wanted to make it a "fun" purchase and added cute things! I also have the tendency to buy at least 2, for example: I wanted a candle, so I buy 2. Very strange now I actually think about it! My no buy is still going strong though! We persevere! LOL

[@Shellyish]

Yes! I get that. I'm so tempted to 'double my happiness' by buying two.

[@Evalynn]

I have been following your videos for a few years Shelly, and I so appreciate how vulnerable, truthful, and curious you are. Your no buy has been a good check-in for me too, especially since starting a job as a bookseller last January. It is soooo difficult not to want, want, want while learning, organizing, and working in this particular independent bookstore, with a curious mind also, and all with a discount to boot. Your observations about how well trained we are by the scarcity mindset, or missing out on a dress or book or anything else, rings true for me, too. Especially when I grew up missing out on a lot because of a lack of resources. Usually I was very content and it was not terrible, sometimes I am very grateful for the lessons it made me learn, but: The want does appear from time to time. I also think as a woman of this era, it feels off to not be in control or have autonomy financially as you were saying, even for a temporary period/because of being told "No," by the no-buy. But all-in-all, your no-buy has helped me pause, and be ever conscious of my purchases as a large swath of us in this country will soon restart student loan payments.

[@Shellyish]

Well thank you! You are in a really interesting position in that you’re working in a bookstore where temptation abounds. You’re right about those student loans as well. Ek. I’m scared about those.

[@The_PositivePlanet]

❤❤❤

[@capturedbyannamarie]

Loved hearing your struggles and wins for this week. You are a very good story teller, and are very brave for sharing your inner thoughts throughout this process. I very much have that scarcity mindset as well.

[@Shellyish]

Awe! Thank you! I do appreciate your comment.

[@sandraelder1101]

Library love! ❤📚

[@Shellyish]

Love me some library!

[@socaltoobie8984]

Very observant and self-reflective (I think that’s a word!). With this much introspection you are bound to succeed! 😁

[@Shellyish]

Thanks so much! I feel very determined.

[@eruditearchive]

Great video Shelly! Very illuminating. These same processes happen in me, too, and you are inspiring me to do a no buy now.

[@Shellyish]

Awe! Let me know how it goes!

[@simo4305]

So cool your son getting into reading.

[@Shellyish]

It makes my heart to happy!

[@julieg_quebec-julesselivre8641]

Good job! I failed with my skincare ban! 😅 I needed one eye cream for the night and I bought two! Sephora was having a 50% off sale on some brands in January… 😭 At least I’m good for a very long long time! 😆

[@Shellyish]

What's great is that we can always try again. A new month is upon us. :)

[@spreadbookjoy]

I’ve been really trying to take control of my spending this year and so far it’s going well. I’ve actually been finding it fun to try and be as creative as possible with what I already own or with acquiring books I need. I’ve been feeling like it’s giving me control rather than taking it away. I get what you mean about appearing to be flexible but actually internally being far from ok when things are disrupted. I’m very much the same. Enjoying your videos on this Shelly!

[@Shellyish]

Thank you, Jack! Our relationship with control plays such a huge role in our relationship with shopping. I'm trying to find a balance even if my internal life is all disrupted by recent changes.

[@spreadbookjoy]

@ 🤍🤍🤍

[@eleanorhynd5078]

But but but - you could make the clothes for the play from curtains!!

[@Shellyish]

OMG! My curtains are linen too!

[@eleanorhynd5078]

😂 - that was a moment of fun. I felt you were a bit emotional and then I got a bit emotional too - its really interesting how you're looking at the no-buy challenge/change of life-style - I would say not to judge if what you're seeing/feeling is good or bad, but just how interesting it is - see/feel what your triggers are for that emotional response in your gut - 'ooo that's interesting - I've learned something about myself today' for example. I think its very - what is the word - brave or courageous - that you're sharing such personal details. Personally I'm really looking forward to seeing you dressed as Maria and hearing how you get on with the play - will you be singing? Huge hugs all the way from chilly Scotland.

[@LaurieInTexas]

That's a lot of valuable introspection about your urge to buy and having to say no and your propensity to appear calm and cool when your day goes haywire and you don't actually feel that way. I applaud you for being very honest about that to your viewers. I think you have a lot of company in those feelings. My book no-buy hasn't been tested, but this weekend is my library's monthly book sale and I feel bad that I can't go. It's my favorite place to find book deals so I won't go and tempt myself. It honestly sucks to want to go and I can't but there is no reason to go if I can't buy. I was curious while I was watching your video why you look at the books and dresses for sale. I guess I'm wondering why you put temptation in your way. I'm not saying it's wrong to do, but you are having to deal with saying no because of your no-buy and you admittedly don't like it. I find it easier to stay away from the places or websites I can purchase books so I don't see something I want and have to deny myself.

[@Shellyish]

@@eleanorhynd5078 Eleanor, I will be singing! I’m an out of practice singer hoping to whip my voice into shape.

[@Shellyish]

@@LaurieInTexas Laurie, thank you! You’ve given me a good bit to think about. I suppose I know my own resolve not to shop is stronger than any desire to buy a book. I’m more dedicated to sticking to my rules than anything else right now. Plus, I like to browse. I wonder what’s been donated and what’s new to the market. I’m just so curious and I like to indulge my curiosity.

[@abrareads]

I wonder if instead of think that the no buy isnt allowing you to buy something, you switch your thoughts to I already made the decision that i wasnt going to buy this?

[@Shellyish]

I’ll have to ponder this.