No more gifts for the holidays.

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I hope you are celebrating the holidays on YOUR on terms.
It took us some years, but we would have it no other way...
If not, don't fret. There's always next year. :)
Happy holidays!
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#holidays #happyholidays #gift #gifts #giftgiving #present #presents #givinggifts #givingpresents #vacation #familyvacation #travel #traveling #familytime #familygames #bonding #traveltogether #alternativeholidays

[@RJ-444]

The timing of this is so relevant. My family gave up gift-giving many years ago, such a huge relief. Not knowing what to buy, the guilt involved in receiving something you didn't really want but knew someone had spent money on... none of us miss the headache. Last year was the first year I spent Christmas alone, right after caring for a Mother who passed peacefully. I went abroad, was sick, stayed in bed. Christmas cancelled, which seemed appropriate somehow. This year, I had invitations, but to accept them wouldn't have been honest. Yet the conditioning is so strong, every now and then I notice I feel slightly sorry for myself that I'll be alone "at Christmas". I have food, warmth and projects on the go. I'll be fine. Thanks for the reminder.

[@BeneaththeSurfaceYT]

You’ll do great! Good for you for listening to what’s right for you. Happy holidays!

[@arianahoule7223]

I've been alone on Christmas for many years now. I spend the day in gratitude for all that I have and that keeps my vibrations high. I'll be sending you loving thoughts.

[@virginiamoss7045]

@@arianahoule7223 Same here; so glad to not participate. Have never felt lonely.

[@valerienorman6051]

RJ - I also have been alone for many years. I have mimosas when I wake up, then bacon and eggs etc for a big celebratory breakfast, then I watch a movie or read a book I saved and just enjoy the peace and quiet.. BIG salad for dinner - 7:51 .do not feel ‘alone’ as I have planned my alone time. After all the years waking at 5am to get a turkey in the oven and fill the kids stockings I feel soooo lucky to be able to sleep in and just indulge ME!. Make it YOURsoecial day and you will not feel lonely. Sending peace and joy to you at this lovely time of the year.

[@kvall4088]

Every single holiday movie is exactly the same. They show the stress of traveling to and the complete disdain people have for having to put up with people they only see once a year- for a reason. Once you mature and don’t care about the social/familial pressures of feeling obligated to participate, you can choose to do exactly what YOU prefer to do.

[@emiluguevara1441]

I’ve been saying this to my husband for years!!! It’s be the source of many fights. I’m so over all the gift giving. Can’t convince him and his family to stop the madness. I just don’t understand why spending time together can’t be the gift, why do we have to buy crap no buddy wants, to only get crap we don’t want. Gifts for kids I totally get but for adults?! If you want something just go buy it for yourself, the end. Merry Christmas 😂

[@BeneaththeSurfaceYT]

OMG, best comment in a LONG time. You are so right

[@BeneaththeSurfaceYT]

So right about everything you said. Wishing change comes your way. It’s possible! Happy holidays no matter what happens. 😁

[@Ari-hn7gd]

I literally said this to a friend once and she missed the whole point. If we’re all adults who roughly make the same money….we’re spending money on gifts from retail chains that they technically could have just gotten themselves. Its like why not just keep your money? It’s different if I make significantly more and I’m gifting you something you never would have been able to afford or vice versa. But that’s usually not the case. It’s also different if I’m gifting you something super unique that you can’t just get anywhere or if it’s something handmade. Similarly it’s also different if I gift you something for your bday because you weren’t necessarily going to spend money on me at the exact same time as I’m spending on you so your gift might be super appreciated then. But spending the exact same money at the same time on gifts you could have easily bought yourself seems silly to me. Let’s just both keep our money and buy the actual thing we want whenever we want. I think the gift giving should really just focus on the children. They can’t buy things for themselves. And maybe gift giving for parents if you make way more than they ever made and you want to shower them to show you appreciate their sacrifice all those years.

[@DarleneA111]

This! I've seen my boyfriend's mom throw a fit because she didn't get she wanted! The money she spent on gifts, she could have bought what she really wanted!

[@mdj-ie7rj]

SAME ! ❤

[@yvonnebirch6026]

I can relate . I grew up in the Netherlands . Our celebrations were so much more subdued . No presents. Just the magic of Lights, a real tree with real candles and music. Blessings to you and your family for a peaceful Christmas ! 🙏💕🌷🇳🇱

[@BeneaththeSurfaceYT]

Love it. And to you too! Much love. 😁🙏❤️

[@MzVixen05]

Oh I can't with the signs from the universe! I'm currently in Ireland and not enjoying the over the top festivities 😕

[@user-rd5hp7xf1c]

This sounds like a wonderful way to spend the holidays. The tree, candlelight and music.

[@ecarrasco234]

I was discussing this topic with my mother yesterday. Gifting is so stressful. Therefore, this video just reassures me that I'm not the only person who's thinking and feeling this way. Happy holidays!

[@BeneaththeSurfaceYT]

There are many of us! Holiday cheer to you as well. 😁🎄❤️

[@kriola84]

You are not alone and seeing how my family reacted on me no participating in it made me feel a bit strange but I am glad to see few people on this more meaningful path.

[@createinmeacleanheartohgod6871]

I gave gifts to those who have none.

[@arianahoule7223]

Lovely video. At "75," my gift giving has shifted to ornaments and a little cash for grandkids. I still love giving to my closest friends, which includes specialty foods. And of course, gifts go to service people, who make my life better all year long. I'm usually alone on Christmas and spend the day in gratitude for all that I have. May everyone be at peace and filled with love this Christmas and all through 2024.

[@dionline88]

Well said. My own family stopped exchanging gifts years ago - we realized we were blessed enough to be able to afford anything we want, whenever we want it (within reason, of course). It means so much more if I'm somewhere and see something that I just know that my sister would love, and I surprise her with it, just because. I'm happy no one had any push-back, we are far happier with this mind set now. Thanks for another thought-provoking video. Merry Christmas to you, Cecelia and your family!!

[@fidelmaclifton1723]

`You are so right, the unnecessary pressure to buy, buy, buy at Christmas is out of control.. Love the idea of shared trip - the gift of time & memories are forever. Sending blessings to you and your family this Christmas.

[@BeneaththeSurfaceYT]

Thank you, and same to you! 😁❤️

[@RamonaL909]

Bravo ! Christmas has been over commercialized for so many years ! People going in debt buying things for everyone. Stop,take a moment, start spending quality time with your loved ones. Stop buying into the You have to mode ! Merry Christmas to you both

[@BeneaththeSurfaceYT]

So well said. Happy holidays to you too!

[@geraldinegranger9186]

I gave all this up years ago. At first my family treated me like I was a selfish loser for not participating in over the top expectations. But fast forward 5 years and now we have all scaled back and are all so much happier!

[@lolah3838]

It's easy to be caught up in tradition but when it stresses you or no longer serves you, stepping outside and box and gaining perspective is so rewarding. I always felt that gift giving at Christmas was for children. As an adult I often felt guilty receiving gifts, particularly many that I didn't need or want and I was also stressed by having to shop for others, not knowing what they really wanted. Little by little we all wound up mostly giving gift cards to each other, which at least, was useful. But ultimately it wasn't much different than me giving you $50 and you giving me $50 are we agreed to stop gift giving. It was a great decision.

[@SunshineLeclair]

We felt the same a handful of years ago, and changed things up. Now we buy a gift (non-extravagant) for the two young children (grandchildren). As for the adults, we all pass a Christmas Card with envelope around and everyone puts what amount they want or can, then signs their name in the card ... this donation is given to our local animal shelter. We lost my mom this year and we gave the donation in her name as she was a huge animal lover. One of the grandchildren is eight this year and couldn't wait to be included in the donation. He ran to his little wallet, coming back out so excited to help the animals too. Maybe the kids will carry on this giving tradition. Blessings and merry Christmas!

[@THFrenchteacher]

I love this so much! I’ve been trying to escape the culture of gifts for a few years now, feeling more and more resentful of this holiday. Thank you for sharing this and for letting me know I’m not alone! 🙏💜🙏

[@TheQueensWish]

My family does gifts but no one ever says thank you for any gift and this bothers me the most. Even a gift of $500 (for a Graduate). And not a single word of thanks?? Why can’t people say two little words? I always thank a person for anything received. No gift is too small to be appreciated with a thank you. So … people out there … say thank you to the gift giver. Prove you weren’t raised by wolves. Say thank you, say it warmly. Someone thought of you, spent time looking for your gift, stood in line for it, paid for it, wrapped it, transported it and then gave it to you. Say Thank You.

[@dianecasady816]

I agree with you, seems like more and more there are no “thank you” given for any gift. I watched my mom give large checks every year and many. (not all) of the grandkids didn’t say thank you at all. I experience the same thing, gifts with many not saying thank you, not sure where this comes from but maybe what is taught.

[@o.g.2716]

I’ve said it for years, I hate feeling pressured to buy gifts that people don’t need or that I can’t afford to buy myself. I’m slowly going into the direction of not giving gifts to the adults just kids. I certainly get gifts from people that I won’t use and I end up giving them away. I’m sure it’s the same thing with some of my gifts as well. As much as unwrapping a gift is fun, the silly games we all play together on Christmas is where all the laughter is. Our family being together getting along is the biggest gift to me !

[@cavumine]

This topic is one that my husband and I know intimately; we married late in life, and did not have children. All by itself, not having kids influences our social circles in huge ways, but none quite so intensely as “the holidays.” My mother-in-law finds this time really depressing; her husband passed away over a decade ago, and we are definitely not into the Christmas vibe most years. Now that she lives with us, we have a hard time figuring out either a) how to get in the mood, or b) how to stay buoyant when depression strikes. Honestly, we haven’t quite figured it all out. Gifting is hard, too, because we’re adults, and we need nothing.

[@suzannefisher1937]

Please consider volunteering in a nursing home, special-needs home, or animal shelter. The need for companship is great in population. I wrapped gifts in a special needs group home, so many of the people just want to talk to someone who isn't in hurry.

[@cavumine]

We already volunteer at a local food bank, and I'm an OR nurse, so my time is already accounted for in many ways. I often work on the holidays (in fact, I'm just clocking out now.) Thanks for the advocacy! ❤

[@SweetStuffOnMonarchLane]

I buy my MIL either a big bouquet of flowers or a flower centerpiece for Christmas... something she loves, but doesn't have to find room to store. I also got her a painting class... something to do that's fun and challenging!

[@The.Hawaiian.Kingdom]

@@SweetStuffOnMonarchLane Those are such good ideas, I’ve never thought to give someone flowers for Christmas.

[@The.Hawaiian.Kingdom]

Have you considered fostering kids? Maybe the desire to give them a special holiday might promote the “Christmas vibe” in your family. Or if not that, maybe take Christmas off for once and cook a nice special meal… food heals. And I think decorating could go a long way in creating the Christmas vibe, watching Christmas movies together, playing Christmas music and just spending time together. They say loneliness is the biggest cause of depression during the holidays, maybe your MIL desperately misses companionship, especially during the holidays… I know some ymca’s have elderly activities, maybe that’s something she can do if she’s able physically, just to have some companionship and activities to keep busy.

[@naomim4631]

Just BE, no need to Do. Share a simple time together, eating, talking & relaxing🎄💖

[@BeneaththeSurfaceYT]

Exactly right. 🙂

[@fierywomanpacnw7004]

You're the coolest family. I started weaning myself off of gift giving (and receiving) around 1980. But YES: give a gift when you choose and when it's from the heart.

[@BeneaththeSurfaceYT]

Good for you, and yes, it’s about a feeling, not programmed action. Happy holidays!

[@janicegreen534]

@@BeneaththeSurfaceYT Nicely said. I agree with it not being about a programmed action.

[@Avery_4272]

Thank you for this video! I'm in total agreement. And I much prefer giving and receiving gifts that are given spontaneously during the year if/when we're inspired and able to do so, and not when we're "supposed to." Your video brought a memory to mind: one year, I let a friend know that I didn't want to do holiday gifts, and that I'd prefer to simply enjoy treating each other to lunch at a favorite casual spot of ours and just enjoying the visit. And financially, I couldn't afford to reciprocate, as this friend always gave me 3 or 4 gifts each year. Well, we met for lunch and my friend, despite my request, smiled and handed me a bag containing a bunch of wrapped gifts. I didn't want to be ungracious, so I accepted them and kindly thanked my friend. But it was very awkward for me, because I hadn't brought any gifts to our lunch, and there was no way I could reciprocate that kind of gift-giving that year. (And now, years later, this friend recently told me how stressful it feels to get their family gifts each year and is trying to change their own tradition!) Anyway: for anyone reading this, if someone sincerely tells you they'd rather not exchange gifts and that they prefer to share time together at lunch, or a walk, or sightseeing or whatever, please believe them (and consider that they may not be able to afford reciprocating by buying you gifts, and it would leave them feeling awkward). The experience of the time with the person, and the long-lasting memories that linger from that time together, are much more meaningful than trinkets & other unnecessary items.

[@dianegriffith3006]

Thanks. I can relate..

[@deloresredman4792]

Qq

[@orangefield3171]

Yes your comment hits home. I’m the one of my friend group that finally suggested we just do lunch for Christmas no gifts. We’re all in our 60’s and don’t need little tchotchkes or gift cards passed back and forth. It’s just nice now to meet and enjoy seeing each other.

[@ccco8639]

Thank you for this! My husband and I were just lamenting the fact that we are expected to go to a white elephant gift party and dinner, and also have Christmas dinner with more family, on Monday. And, all we really want to do is stay home and relax, with a peaceful and low key dinner with just ourselves, and maybe a board game later. Maybe even just go out for dinner? We are beyond tired of having to buy gifts every year, and make conversation when we just want quiet and relaxation. For ourselves, we don't even need gifts. We're almost 60 and so done with all the stress and obligations. Wishing you a peaceful holiday!

[@zsazsafabian3958]

Love this, years ago I found myself walking aimlessly in the local mall exhausted after work racking my brain on what I was going to buy for gifts for Christmas I felt empty inside and I think I could feel myself snap in that moment and I made a vow that I would never do this again. I gave myself permission to burn the idea of Christmas to the ground and my husband and I took some years off of decorating, cooking the works…talked to our family about gift buying …asked that they make a donation to food bank or charity for Christmas no gifts and we would do the same. Our greatest joy is just spending time together everything after that is secondary. I don’t dread the holidays anymore and have released the expectations that I put on myself.

[@annadee2669]

You raised your boys in such a creative, rare and beautiful way. Thank you for sharing your memories and your thoughts on this, it has inspired me.

[@BeneaththeSurfaceYT]

Thank you, thank you 🙏😁

[@lauralaw2975]

I was very lucky growing up with family who have lived in Appalachia for well over two hundred years. I was the first, "Cosmic Opossum, " born out of the mountains but moved back when I was eighteen. I am seventy now. Family, food, and church were a way of everyday life. More so during holidays. Predominantly everything was homemade from what we had and decorations were from nature. Cutting are red cedar tree, bittersweet pine cones etc. For my grandma it was getting new shoes bought with cash money from gathering medicinal herbs and selling them. Hunting and hog butchering which I participated in etc. So again I grew up very fortunate to know the reason for the season and not the commercialization of store gifts and Santa. Many of my families traditions were German based and handed down thru the generations as Appalachia has always been isolated. Blessings to you and yours.

[@OGJacey]

Thank you! We have been tired of the stress of expectations from family over the gift giving every year and for the last 10 years have opted out due to the expense and distance from almost everyone. No one understands our reasons, but that's okay. We do our own Christmas our way.

[@SisterSherryDoingStuff]

I'm working retail, for the first ever, this year. People are angry, frustrated and down right miserable. The music is playing, I'm greeting people with a smile, laughing with co-workers, etc. The happiest time of year? I don't see it. The holidays were magical when I was a little girl. Then they became a drag. After I had my son - they were magical again - as he grew, it became a drag. Now I just want to hang out with my son with good food and quality time. That's it. No financial obligations - no stress. The holidays are magical, yet, again! Cheers!

[@amiek9226]

This is a timely video. Just yesterday I tallied up how much I’ve spent on Christmas gifts this year for my adult children and I realized I can’t afford to keep doing this. I have to have a talk with each of them about scaling back their expectations for both Christmas and birthdays and finding other ways to celebrate. Happy holidays to you & yours!

[@BeneaththeSurfaceYT]

You’ll figure it out! Happy holidays :)

[@purpledeer1]

Why do your grown children have 'expectations' re christmas/bdays? If they get anything from you that should be a bonus for them. =

[@user-sc9lr6kz8t]

I think there comes a point in your life when the gift is each other.

[@The.Hawaiian.Kingdom]

Yes gifts for adult kids can be expensive, especially when there’s grandkids involved as well. I feel like typically there’s an understanding that when people have young children the parents (your adult children) shouldn’t expect a gift as well because it’s too expensive for people. If you think about it, you spent many years of your life buying them gifts as children and not receiving any in return OR gave your kids money to buy you gifts… I think it’s time they return the favor. 😜

[@ren5397]

As an adult child I think they should be fine with it. My family stopped doing Christmas gifts once we “kids” were in our early 20s. For the past 15 Christmas’ we just get together for a nice lunch where everybody brings a plate and then we play board games and talk. It’s become a really lovely day with no pressure, just quality time spent together.

[@ProfEmerita]

My 25yo daughter & I put up a small prelit tree, some indoor fairy lights, give each other presents for which we’ve previously given “hints,” and splurge by buying prepared gourmet food and making some favorites. We go to Midnight Mass, remember the reason for Christmas. Very low-key, quiet, but still acknowledging Christmas. Lovely!

[@karooblue7634]

🎉Birthdays are presious and is a time for gifting. Christmas is for sharing "gifts" with others that have no family, elderly or the sick. The "gift" can be a 30 min coffee date, a "gift" of giving basics like toiletries etc. or home made cookies for the sick. Thank you for sharing.

[@MeadowDay]

Thank you…you understand Christmas. A Christian celebration where we remember the less fortunate.

[@PeteFredrickson]

I don't even expect gifts on my birthday anymore. I generally still receive some from family members who insist on giving them, but I don't request it. But I prefer that people donate to a cause in my honor and host birthday fundraisers online each year for organizations I support.

[@karooblue7634]

Pete, that is a lovely idea, I am not sure if this option is available in South Africa, I will research it in the New Year.🌟

[@dena-mo118]

We had also done the all or nothing with family when our sons were young. We were the only part of the family that lived 500 miles away, so the expectation was for us to go the miles. Once our sons were in college, we actually took our family only on a Christmas cruise. How liberating was that. Yes, we were in a small way berated for not driving the 500 miles. We have never looked back. I do wish I had had the gumption to do that as the kids were growing up. Families can be complicated. Truly loved your Christmas treasure hunt. Thank you for sharing this perspective.

[@melhenline8438]

When our son became a teen he was no longer interested in gifts and the usual Christmas trappings. I was tired of cleaning, shopping, and cooking. We decided to start taking a vacation to the beach at Christmas instead. It has been great! So many good memories of our time together. : )

[@christinegivens9048]

We decided the same this year. No gifts. Just lovely food and time with friends. We have enough stuff! Great content. ✨

[@michellem.8086]

Love this! For the 1st time in 16 yrs as a parent I didn't buy a single gift for any of my 3 kids or husband and feels great to not having any stress of shopping. Went ice skating and the kids used their saved up money to buy eachother small gifts.

[@beeheart6324]

thanks for sharing! I did the same when I was 19: I could not bear the nonsense. When kids came there was only one gift, we played all through christmas, had buffet style food (all our favourites). Yes it was super nice to create those memories. Great to know more people are able to withdraw from the madness ;-)

[@BeneaththeSurfaceYT]

Love your comment. Happy holidays! 🍾🎄🎅

[@resistanceliveecm]

Thank you for this. I'm so exhausted by what it took to pull off Christmas this year as a single mom that I am grumpy and not enjoying the season. This is serious food for thought.

[@elisshadelport2015]

We love gifting especially at the holidays. The issue is you are thinking of gifting as buying expensive things you don’t really need….in our family Christmas gifts are things like little doodles of our pets, artistic expression on stones found in a creek, a beautiful pressed flower found on a hike, etc. These things bring joy and further demonstrate our love for each other. You honestly don’t need to spend even a dollar 😊

[@mariusa.5863]

Great if that works in your family, I don’t give anything but self-baked christmas cookies to my family myself (I know they like them). But I absolutely have zero interest in getting found stones and pressed flowers every year to clutter up my apartment. Sure, some might look beautiful but I prefer to choose for myself what I surround myself with.

[@waffles1ca]

@@mariusa.5863take that!

[@nickywilks7928]

This is beautiful.

[@TheQueensWish]

Men don’t want gifts like that. Are you serious? A flower or a rock? Makes a good video but not a good gift. Sorry.

[@faystrachan6440]

@@TheQueensWish😂😂🎉

[@iSucrose]

me and my family stopped buying gifts a long time ago for the very same reasons. Happy Holidays and a happy new year to your family.

[@BeneaththeSurfaceYT]

Nice :)

[@andreabontempo643]

We quit buying presents a few years ago. My daughters idea. it's so much better now, less stress, and no let down after Christmas.

[@BeneaththeSurfaceYT]

Love it. Happy holidays to you both!

[@Lunay08]

I absolutely HATE giving and receiving gifts. Like you said, they feel like a burden. It's so beyond stressful. It's probably one of the reasons why I hate and dread this time of year. I always tell people to please not get me any gifts around the holidays but my wishes are never heard. I feel obliged to have to gift back if a gift is given to me. I went to Macys to get my mom a gift and I almost had a full blown panic attack, it was SO crowded with people just buying stuff. I can't convince anyone not to get me anything. It's such a consumeristic culture, it's madness. My favorite thing to do around the holidays is to stay home, watch a christmas movie or 2 and drink some hot chocolate. Maybe slow dance to some christmas music with my partner and put a fireplace on netflix and play some card games. So simple. No expectations, no spending money. In all honesty, I want to give away all my christmas decorations because I simply do not enjoy celebrating anymore. It has become more about consumerism than anything else. Thank you so much for speaking about this

[@maryjanelarson9045]

I've completely opted out of Christmas this year. My only sibling is quite uncomfortable with this change but it is best for my well-being. I appreciate the sentiment behind 'reinventing the holidays' and support your journey as you create something new and magical.

[@BeneaththeSurfaceYT]

Thank you, and bravo to you. Happy holidays!

[@LaJulieOrtega]

Oh this made me cry as a mom of two boys who are in their fun toddler stage. Everything is so magical to them right now. Your video at the end makes me realize how fast it will go by 😢. Happy Holidays to you and your family.

[@BeingReal1]

This video is a real gift from the heart to anyone who has been struggling with the tradition of gift-giving. My husband and I stopped gift-giving many years ago. We are blessed and have everything we need, and have no ‘wants’. Time truly is the best gift we can give anyone. I much prefer surprising a dear friend or friends (or someone who is having a difficult time) during the year with something I’ve seen by chance that they would appreciate, or something edible I have made e.g. a gift-wrapped fresh loaf of my sourdough bread, a bottle of my homemade chilli paste/pickle, cookies, etc. The tradition and expectations on the part of others is so stressful, and defeats the purpose of the real celebration. So, dear Sir, thank you for this video. So beautifully and heartfully expressed without judgment.

[@es7432]

I could go either way. There was a period of time in which my parents and other family members did not buy presents, just hung out, went out to dinner, and it was great. Then I had a child, and we got back into giving gifts. This year was the best year, financially, that I have ever had, and I'm having such fun and joy in my heart giving gifts to my loved ones, friends included, and giving to charities. I have felt no pressure or resentment, just joy!

[@DeanRamser]

This Christmas we are in Krakow, enjoying our 2nd Honeymoon (6 weeks!), before heading up to Estonia for my Digital Nomad Visa application appointment. We bought a few items in the festive Krakow Christmas Market for our grandchildren back in Pendleton, Oregon (we recorded an interview with the shop owner/artist to personalize the gift). This romantic tour of Poland will be memory-creating instead of wrapping and unwrapping stuff.

[@Kaige46]

My husband and I stopped buying gifts for each other years ago. We asked the grown kids to stop too. There’s nothing we want or need, and if there is we get it ourselves. I know my husband loves me and I love him. Same goes for the kids. We still buy for anyone under 18, which is our cut-off point. We get nice cards for Father’s and Mother’s Day. That’s it! Saves lots of time and we can stay away from the shops - always a bonus!

[@JoySkydancer]

Thank you so much for the incredible gift of your video. Merry Christmas to you and your beautiful family and wishing you joy in the new year. I’ve been following Nathan for a few years, and now you too. What an inspiration you all are. I’m blown away by your generosity to share your thoughts, feelings, wisdom, and relationship with us so courageously and authentically. Deep bow to you all, and blessings from Seattle.

[@dianegriffith3006]

Perfect comment-I’ve had Xmas alone for some time. Spend early one with son and family. They gather with her family in the east coast -like clockwork. And then it’s back to ordinary everyday. Life starting over. While I don’t mind gift giving I do know the older I get the more stressed out I get. Crazy. Another subscriber from Seattle. Happy Holidays. 🎄.

[@Spot4art]

We choose one name for the adults and we buy for the 5 children who are aged from 11 down to 3 and a new baby on the way. Then we do a Yankee swap of a funny gift all while enjoying great food and family. I love it. These are our circle of family members only 11 adults and the littles. Time passes quickly we are in our 70s and we are enjoying these years. ❤️

[@wendymtzc]

Gifting doesn’t have to be stressful though, that could just be a lack of planning and not knowing your loved ones and you most definitely don’t need to spend a fortune or even step into a store, in this day and age everything can be bought on-line.

[@stevefaulkner183]

I admire your courage and fighting for true connection, not just going through the motions.

[@jmd-k9928]

Great video along with the many comments that confirm im not alone in this. I recall growing up Mexican when gifting Christmas presents was for the children. As adults it was not really a thing. Ive now shifted to that with my friends and family. I focus on presents for the children and the adults its about sharing time with one another. Also, as an adult, material gifts only add to my stress of clutter im working so desperately to reduce now in my life. NO MORE STUFF! I just want time with loved ones and experiences.

[@annai6393]

I agree. I grew up getting chocolate and an orange in the window. Immigrated here, and it is horrific; I bought into all of the endless present culture. And this year, we are doing barely anything. But I am cooking like my grandma did in the days past, and we are all enjoying sitting down for Christmas Eve and on Christmas for dinner and a movie after. We took our young adult kids to Prague for Thanksgiving; that was something better than a 200-dollar sweater.

[@melissasinclair9303]

When I was a kid gifts were not only toys, but also the clothes we needed for the year. We got clothes at the start of our year, for our birhday and for Christmas. Raising our kids, we had more money and gifts were for things they wanted, not "needed". Well, after awhile, that was just like, why?" So for the last 15 years we have given a token gift for under the tree to the kids. We haven't given a gift to each other for 30 years (we've been married 30 years). If we want something and can afford it, we get it, we don't hint for it as.a gift. So, I love the holidays. No hoopla - just good food and time to relax with family.

[@churchofpos2279]

We have been brainwashed by Media to buy , buy, buy. I stopped buying gifts several years ago for friends and family that really didn't need more things. I do donate to a different local charity each year, where I know my gift is much needed and appreciated.

[@thechickincharge1073]

As a Believer, it was a huge thing for my family when we found out that A. Messiah wasn’t born on December 25th and B. It is pretty much centered around pagan traditions. At that point we asked ourselves why we should continue keeping it! I decorate for each season now not for any holidays and we buy gifts for people when we feel lead to! We were instantly ostracized by our Xmas keeping family. We condemn no one for what they do, we are only responsible for OUR own beliefs. May God bless each one of you with courage to break from ideas that often hurt us instead of bringing us truly together.🙏❤️🙏

[@awesomeSW1]

I'm so glad I stopped worrying about this years ago. Making memories/creating experiences is much more meaningful.

[@MarianneInmarsilia]

What a relief that my family growing up, and still today does live the “fantasy” of simple holiday time together, cooking, fireside chatting, eating, drinking, laughing, being in nature, and simple inexpensive gifts….often homemade.

[@designunlimited6215]

I couldnt agree more. ❤. Gift-giving puts a huge burden on society (especially those who are struggling financially or who have mental health issues). These days it just seems to be a huge guilt trip imposed on consumers by the retail industry to boost sales. So many gifts are unwanted and this puts a burden on our planet too. Yes, buying gifts for one's own young children is absolutely joyful but personally I think it should stop there. Helping others on a day to day basis, as needed, is more thoughtful and more appreciated than having one insane pressure of gift giving and receiving once a year.

[@louisianamama8052]

Three years ago we quit giving gifts to our children and others. It was difficult the first two years. This year we had the best Christmas. We focused on all the blessings and gifts that God has given us. Health, shelter, clothing, food and so much more. We donate to the needy. It’s been an interesting transition but it’s been well worth it.

[@Alaskaventureswithbrodie]

I could not relate to this more. I told my husband tonight that I want to take a trip just us and the boys next year. They are 25 and 29. Both single. It could be great. Im so over gifts. My husband and I dont give gifts for any holidays or birthdays. We usually always take a trip or go see a concert.❤

[@BeneaththeSurfaceYT]

Absolutely love it! The very best holidays to you and yours. 😁

[@constancewhite6906]

What a gift - to rethink the whole holiday/Christmas process! Thank you! ❤🌲❤ So glad to reconnect with you all!

[@pamgreenfield2853]

Love the holiday treasure hunt. That is is so much fun. I don’t do gift giving anymore. I needed to focus on my basic needs and paying off my credit card and giving to a gofundme. I love being off work for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. Simplicity is the way to go.

[@sierrarmcclain]

Gift giving is my love language. I love seeing something that is perfect for someone I love. I understand that not everyone is like this. I like alternative holidays and making them meaningful for you. It’s been my mom and I since I was 9 and I don’t have the energy to participate in large holiday gatherings. ❤

[@user-wi2yb2fe9c]

I love this so much! We do the same thing. We give small gifts and/or activities to our son and we create a scavenger hunt with clues to find the gift. The memories are so much better than just watching him tear through one thing after another and then it's over. Good for you. I enjoy watching your journey...thank you and Happy holidays!

[@DinaMadi23]

LOVE your values and bond as a family! So giving and so inspiring❣

[@wrecklisseve]

Several years ago around holiday time, I told my family of origin not to buy me anything and that I would no longer be buying gifts for any adults. Gift exchange had been a big part of our holiday gathering, so I expected some push-back, but got none at all! We have not exchanged presents at the holidays in several seasons and it's such a relief. I still give clothes and necessities to babies, toys to young children, and cash or checks once children understand what money is and how it's used.

[@willpoole7593]

I love your channel! I don’t recall how I first came across it, but being an avid traveler, when I started watching your videos, I knew this channel was different! It’s authentic, interesting, creative, and lovely. The narrating is also so peaceful and calm in its realness. The topic of this video is timely for me. I decided a few weeks of go that I was not doing any shopping this holiday season. In November, my nephew got married, so I flew to the wedding, bought a gift from the registry, stayed in a hotel for 3 days, meals at restaurants, and taking Ubers everywhere. It was a great time, but after all that, I was not exploding my budget because the holiday season is now here. It is so frustrating every year! Enough! I have already announced that I’m not doing any gifts this year. And that’s that! May the holidays be a joy for your family, and Happy New Year!

[@sharim7474]

I love your family and how you guys are always thinking outside the box!

[@lorrieteige4079]

The last twelve years have been a struggle for me financially, but I never had a lot to begin with! I've always found joy in the simplest things: worshipping God, Christmas lights, beautiful music, and timeless holiday movies. This year I had the most cozy, peaceful Christmas at home. My family members live far away, but I made a point of connecting long-distance, and enjoyed pleasant fellowship with neighbors in my building. Who needs presents? Love and friendship are most precious. ❤

[@youngspiritsinging]

As a Bahai we have a time called Ayyami Ha . We celebrate it with homemade gifts, home visiting friends and familia, service projects etc..,. This celebration is at the end of February for 4 to 5 days . There is a lot of room to express oneself during familia time as you and Cecilia have discovered. I really enjoyed your video and how creative you got with making memories with each other. It really makes a difference making special memories that do not have to stress one out or cost a boat load of money ! Good for you guys. This year my niece who is Catholic hosted a Hanukkah party and we played games and two familia members gave small gifts , because they wanted to. My nephew who is a practicing Jew made homemade lattkas and did the Menorah lighting and prayers. My niece ordered food from a Jewish deli. Tomorrow we are all going to my sisters house for Christmas. We are doing a Yankee swap of books we no longer want but would like to share. We will also have a big dinner. I made empanaditas. It is a combination potluck with my brother in law providing the turkey, ham, and roast beef. The evening will be spent playing games. What I love about la familia is though we have different religions everything from Catholic, Judaism, Bahai, Lutheran, Atheism , and Fundamental Christian we all love and respect each others choices. There is no judgement. We have so much to gain from each others different spiritual paths.

[@lovey980]

I personally love cooking for others and love decorating and presenting my home for guests. But everyone has to do what makes them happy. I love seeing my extended family during the holidays, but I know so many people hate it. This year was the first year ever that I did not wake up early to open gifts. I chose to exchange gifts for whoever I bought on Christmas Eve. I always hated the feeling of being exhausted and opening gifts half asleep. And I’m not afraid to change things up if they stop making me happy.

[@AdventuresOfValene]

I feel the exact same way. I became a minimalist a few years ago and I just simply have no desire to do gift exchanges with family & friends. It's not that I don't love them or that I don't think they're worth spending the money on, but I don't want to get people random stuff they may not even want, and even moreso, I don't want any stuff! I'd much rather spend quality time together and create lasting memories, instead of trying to live up to other people's expectations of the holidays. My partner and I still give each other gifts but it's always something we know for certain we absolutely want or just plan a fun getaway!

[@brianfilkowski]

Thought provoking as many of your videos have been for me. I like your approach to life. Remove some of the expectations and try to live more in the moment. Thank you and may your holiday season be all that you hope for.

[@KimberlieOtt]

I was touched by your message, and the beautiful memories in the photos of your sons' childhoods. They look so happy!

[@jackieangove3419]

What a simple refreshing vlog .You’ve sold me .I feel so much better now I’ve listened to your message .Happy Christmas to you all ❤

[@BeneaththeSurfaceYT]

Thank you so much, and same to you!

[@saraennis1402]

I absolutely would love to do this with my family. My Christmas this year was incredibly fraught with exhaustion, stress, and family drama. And that question of "what is this all even for" has been top of mind the last couple years absolutely.

[@carlashreeve445]

Such a great way to slow down & celebrate each other instead of things!

[@babymammoth6254]

I love how humanity is waking up to everything that’s kept us on a low vibration. I call it distracting and extracting! Distract us with utter nonsense and extract as much time, energy and money out of us. Everyone is stepping away now and I’m here for it! 💗

[@coquetscache]

I couldn’t have said it better, how much happier the world could be if we all did what we could feel to be the right thing with a heart motivated by gratitude.

[@deepsoultarot8272]

I generally dislike holidays due to the commercialism of them all. I LOVE your versions of how to spend QUALITY time with family , from the treasure hunt, cooking together, travel , etc. The essence of Christmas & the true meaning of holidays comes alive again with your versions !! Thank you for sharing this!! Happy Holidays to you & your family and may 2024 bring you only the very best!!!✨💖✨

[@johnbarr2100]

I have been in this mindset for several years now. Gift giving/receiving has felt wrong for a long time. Watching people wandering around the mall just looking for something that another person “might” like is sad to see. And asking for a list of what they want seems wrong to me too. I find gift giving extremely stressful and have not enjoyed it for a long time. The consumerism part of it bothers me too. I give my daughters money and they buy gifts for Angel tree and we haven’t given up the gift thing entirely but hopefully will soon. We have considered traveling for the holidays but everything I looked at seemed extremely expensive. Islands are at least. May have to try lower key traveling like you have. Thanks for the video. Merry Christmas.

[@RainMaker0602]

Thank you for this video, Mr. Drew. I've been a sub of your son, Nathaniel; and you truly have an amazing family. Happy holidays and keep safe always, kind sir!

[@mamachicken1548]

Love this video!! Love the message. The footage at the end was beautiful. Most people spend their whole life in that cycle of what you described. Merry Christmas to you and your family.

[@ritchiewong16]

Hey Josh (or Mr. Drew) 👋, I love that you and Cecelia (or Mrs. Drew) reinvent how you guys spend time with Nathaniel and Sky during the holidays! What really made my day from watching this video were the video clips of you guys celebrating Christmas throughout the years. Sending you lots of love!!! ❤️❤️❤️🤗 P.S. I may have commented this on Nathaniel’s most recent video earlier today but, Merry Christmas! I hope the four of you spend plenty of valuable time together! 🎄

[@ld7876]

This is a valuable approach to spending time with family. Thank-you

[@BeneaththeSurfaceYT]

And thank you right back 😁🙏

[@deana4793]

Merry Christmas! I always look forward to your thought provoking videos! Until next time, thank you 🙏 ❤🤗🤗🥂

[@BeneaththeSurfaceYT]

Thank you, and happy holidays! :)

[@BeverleyAnn-rh2lv]

Your focus on meaningful ways to suit you & your loved ones comes from the heart not from programming!!!!! Blessings 🎉

[@kriola84]

Amen! Thank you for adressing it. I've chosen not to be part of it and noticed the liberation that comes with it. No more pressure and much more peace to offer meaningful gifts when I feel like it. A blessing to have seen this video today. Stay blessed you and beautiful family.

[@moniquea2497]

Thank you for sharing something so personal like this. Such beautiful family. Enjoy your family time!

[@alanlane3869]

Feeling this message this year in a big way. Thank you for sharing, and Merry Christmas!

[@marieb3089]

Enjoy the holidays!! Your family rocks, it is really moving to see how much you love each other in a realistic way. Reminds me of my family . It is also refreshing and vital to see that "reinventing xmas" process.

[@carrielamarr2845]

We did this years ago when Boxing Day (the day after Christmas Day for us Brits) ended up being the day when the kids would ask whether we had saved the receipts on the myriad of (underwhelming) gifts they had received, usually necessitating me returning to the very same shops that I battled weeks earlier in the month, and standing in long lines at the return counter, and all I could think of was "why bother?" Even online shopping felt empty and a waste of time. Now they might pick one or two things they really need and we cover the cost. At the same time, we told our kids never to buy us gifts at Christmas, and my husband and I have extended that to our birthdays too, including those so-called "Hallmark" holidays like Valentine's Day. Sure some folk have remarked what a shame and could never do this because gift giving is as much a joy to the recipient as it is to the gift giver, but all I can think of is that we've spent all that money on experiences instead, traveling to Europe, Australia etc. (I live in the US) and not filling landfills with unwanted gifts. Those memories are priceless. Merry Xmas and Happy Holidays to your beautiful family.

[@RitzaM_1965]

WOW!! this topic is SOOO well timed and SPOT on!! My husband and I were just discussing this topic a week ago! Every year Christmas creeps up on us and I'm NEVER ready for it. The stress and obligations are daunting! Not only do you have the obligation to your family/friends but also at work! Always pleasing everyone else at one's own expense. NOT doing the same next year!!! Thanks for letting some of us know that there are others that think the same way!! Blessings to you all and wishing you guys a wonderful New Year in an AMAZING new home!! God bless!

[@jenny-hamel]

My family is entirely too big and we all live too far from each other, so I don't see them except once every few years - gift giving seems like the only way to "be together" around the holidays despite how disconnected it feels. I love that your family is able to do this! Your relationships are fantastic and something to aspire to!

[@leannmelloway3687]

You are truly a beautiful speaker. I so look forward to your posts..and wish for more…Merry Christmas to you and those you love most.

[@wildhorses6817]

Yes, create your very own Traditions that Evolve over Time. This was Lovely. Happy Holidays to your Beautiful Family ❣️

[@robinzaleski5]

There are only a handful of gifts that I received in my life that still stick out in my mind. But I have a much larger cache of memories of events and excursions. Growing up, our family was lower middle-class at best, but I treasure those memories far more than the ice skates that no longer fit, the guitar I never really learned to play. I do still love the boxed collection of Louisa May Alcott books and occasionally go back and reread them. But I’d rather create memories and travel than have more stuff. Also too much stuff makes it hard to travel! Happy holidays to you and your family, thank you for taking us along on your ex pat adventures. You’re living the life I aspire to!

[@melissajunkermeier6242]

I love how intentional you and your family are about living life and being authentic to it instead of following what other people do or what you’re supposed to do. So inspiring. Thanks for the content.

[@patricialozano9897]

Wow that was a mouthful. Hearing how you came to feel about giving and the holidays in general was a joy killer. There's different, less rigid rules in the neck of the woods I inhabit. I'm sure that makes a difference. You have a beautiful family. Hope you are able to have a great time at your forthcoming celebration. Merry Christmas.

[@kerri7145]

Last year and this year have been Wonderful! ❤ we didn’t purchase one gift for anyone! We did Christmas cards. And had people come for dinners. It was such great family time with lots of talking and laughter. The best!

[@nancyann1090]

I do think sending a Christmas card with a letter and picture is a great Christmas gift for extended family and friends and people that live far away and you don't see very often. I get a lot of people thanking me for the card and letter with a picture, they like to hear how we are doing. I send out about 50 a year. I think that letter is important, it communicates with people.

[@annie1626]

Thank you! Why is it so hard to say this? I hate the whole tinsel-sleigh-ride, crap-music, false-jollity pressure leaking out of the PAs of every shop we go into, which we then foist on each other, and it's damaging the planet to boot. Good on you for making it your own, and what an amazing education for your children. I loved seeing the old footage of them both growing up, and a glimpse of their paths to the people they are today. No wonder they have become what they are! Felicidades a ustedes dos por lo que les hicieron. And yes, we can keep reinventing it to a way that works for us. So in that spirit, when my neighbours just moved in today, I baked some cakes and invited them in for tea when the moving truck left. It was magic! I got a chicken yesterday, seasoned it up today, and as it was looking good, I interrupted writing this to ring another neighbour and invited her over for dinner. So creating new customs is just the ticket - just add warmth, music, good food and enjoying each others' company without pressure and without all that baggage born of unrealistic expectations passed down through the years. 🌲🌺Feliz Navidad a todos!🌺🌲

[@schoolingdiana9086]

When my kids were little, they got 3 gifts-the same baby Jesus got from the Wise Men. One was usually a book. When they got older, each of them got either 6 months of lessons for something they wanted to do or a concert or hockey game ticket. The switch didn’t go over very well the first Christmas, but a week later they were 1000% on board and already thinking ahead to what game, concert, or lessons they wanted for the next Christmas. They even asked us to do that on a smaller scale for their birthday.

[@user-bg1eo7lo9u]

Keeping it calm, sensible, honest, simple. ~Beautiful. Thanks for your channel. Many blessings to you all.