No Such Thing As Mild Autism | Ellie Middleton’s Late AuDHD Diagnosis

[@KxNOxUTA]

This is all sooooooooooooo relatable. I love every bit of this talk. It's so incredibly relatable. It's an oddly new experience to see a setting of two ppl talking and it's not just mutual understanding but also relatable on the very personal everyday decision level.

[@tiffanylbacon]

As a GenXer we didn’t get diagnosed with anything. No mental illness, no disabilities (unless physically apparent). As a child I was labeled as shy, over active, disruptive, loner, distracted, gifted…….I struggled to make friends. I preferred to be alone, to read or play solitaire. For hours. I hated having my stuff touched or moved. I learned to mask at a really young age. Meltdowns were internalized because “tantrums” were punished. I wanted to be a good girl. I developed an eating disorder at 10 years old. I was diagnosed with ADHD at 48 and now I realize that I am also on the spectrum. I am rigid, black/white, struggle with transitions, prefer to be alone, struggle with socialization, struggle with focus, and mask like crazy so much so that I have no idea who I am. I know I am AuDHD because my 17 year old is and he said, “duh Mom, I have known for years.”

[@jsonbourne9799]

So sweet ♥. This last reminds me of when @DavesGarage said he was coming out as autistic to his mechanic who was under the car when Dave said "I think I might be a little bit autistic" and his mechanic carries on without missing a beat and says "Just a little bit, huh?"

[@FuzzWoof]

Diagnosed with ADHD and autism at 48 here too and had an almost identical childhood experience - "Oh, he's just shy, depressed and weird" Absolutely no support or treatment beyond trying every antidepressant under the sun, all of which just messed with me more because they were treating mental conditions I didn't have. Most of the people I told about my late diagnosis said "Wait, you didn't know? We assumed you just never wanted to talk about it." haha.

[@_c_y_p_3]

this comment straight made tears come to my eyes. I was yanked out of school and placed in “experimental” programs that people sued for in Cali but in WA it was just forgotten, probably helped that half the kids ended up dead or lost down the shit chute. I got diagnosed after moving to Sweden and obtaining a fresh start, NO thanks to my own government or people but because a 19 year old girl brought me me here and I was able to obtain citizenship and then healthcare and such, of course our relationship was real but it was a relationship that saved me not ANYTHING in USA. Fact watching most my friends and family go far right crazy I believe I would have lost my mind entirely had I stayed there. Instead I have a nice life here because this place values EACH person. That is WHY sooooo many ordinary people have walked and floated and swam to get here through war zone, and ocean, mountain and desert.

[@lunamothtarot9636]

@tiffanylbacon Your generation really held it down in that sense.. both of my parents are autistic I think (undiagnosed) and my Mum I reckon is actually AuDHD like me and I think it just made them both feel so lonely and misunderstood for most of their lives...my Dad I think has just given up on trying to connect with people and it's so sad. I think the strength in the neurodivergent and empathic community in your generation is unbelievable... and I hope that now you can let down those walls and finally get the love and support and understanding that you've needed all along ❤

[@andrewwright9512]

I’m 50 and just at the start of this process. I didn’t think I could have ADHD because I was never throwing tables or acting out in that way as a child. I was completely scared of being told off. Felt/feel such shame being see to be “naughty”. Obeying rules was the biggest thing to me, and still is a big deal. But, I am now putting the pieces of my story together and preparing to go see about a formal diagnosis… probably AuDHD.

[@sploders1019]

It feels to me like diagnosis (and to a lesser degree, self-diagnosis) gives you *permission* to be different. I’ve been testing the waters with removing the many layers of masking I’ve built up over the years and talking about it more, and finding that some of my closest friends already knew, and were surprised I didn’t. I’m gradually finding that I have more capacity as I start to unmask, after getting through the initial exhaustion of self-analyzing the motivations of every action, and with perfect timing too, because I don’t think I would be able to handle my current daily life if I hadn’t known. I probably would have ended up with a mental breakdown, quit or gotten fired, and had to take a hiatus for a month or two, but now I have a word that I can use to instantly give people a lot more context and justification when I ask for what I need, when I previously would have just internalized it all until I had a massive shutdown. People who wrongly self-diagnose make me cringe, but who is it affecting, really? You’re right; it really isn’t the biggest problem we have.

[@ruthhorowitz7625]

It's more like 'that's why my life has been so messed up'

[@jonnyenough1531]

Don't wait til you can't mask. Everything will have fallen apart by then

[@jonnyenough1531]

​@@ruthhorowitz7625exactly this. Couldn't mask, then wtf is going on and then the diagnosis which isn't anything I was diagnosed with. Now, everything has failed years ago so who knows what's next

[@dkbfern]

For me, high functioning means “not bothering others”. So, I learned to hide my autistic traits, for everyone else’s benefit, except mine, and now people think I don’t need any accommodation, regardless of the toll it takes on my physical and mental health. 😓

[@Dancestar1981]

I should have had a career in the performing arts for more than twenty five years. My entire life I’ve pretended to be someone and something I’m not. If that isn’t the definition of being an actress and giving you more than 40 years of lived experience then I don’t know what is. I’m a triple threat, I can act, dance and sing but my creative talents haven’t ever been fully appreciated.

[@mabelcorn2798]

​@@Dancestar1981You just made me realize why I was so drawn to cosplay and theatre 😳

[@Dancestar1981]

@ absolutely drama and theatre is a natural fit for us we spend our entire life masking pretending to be someone we aren’t. The number of neurodivergent actors around the world would lots of your possible favourites would blow your mind. It’s a shame I never got the opportunity personally. I think I could have had a stellar career

[@Heather_Michelle]

I spent three years researching, self analyzing and gaslighting myself before I finally made an appointment with a psychiatrist...15 minutes into the appointment she said "you definitely have ADHD and let's get you set up for an autism assessment"... I'm 46, female and high masking so the fact that what I questioned myself about for years was so easily spotted was both a relief and horrifying. AuDHD is not a badge of honor or a trend, it's (for me at least) being able to recognize my "deficits" as part of my neurobiology and finally stop shaming myself for not being the optimal human I thought I was supposed to be.

[@Gamer_Grille]

Self diagnosing my autism has dramatically improved my mental health by just simply allowing myself to be autistic. Even after the shutdown that made me 100% sure, I am still researching and reading up to get a better understanding of my behaviours and what I am masking.

[@lunamothtarot9636]

Same I totally relate to this.

[@marthamurphy3913]

One of the jobs I loved most was when I worked in a library cataloging books & maps.

[@heatherwilliams3748]

That job sounds so stimulating but also relaxing at the same time.

[@turtleanton6539]

Yaaay😮

[@stackofcats8601]

I’m a Librarian and I think it’s the only job I’ve ever had that I could keep. ❤

[@lunamothtarot9636]

That sounds so peaceful 😌

[@AnnaDownes-r3q]

My favourite job was being special needs teacher, mostly autistic kids. Other teachers found it really stressful and wanted to get back to mainstream teaching. I loved it, it was like family

[@OldTimer1970]

My parents hid it never told me, like it was a dirty little secret. How I found out is too long a story to go into, but now at 53 I am finally meeting the real me. Three years plus waiting list or two and a half thousand pound where I am, so cool if you can afford it as always.

[@alunwilliams2142]

I’m sixty this year and I was diagnosed at five. I had issues at eighteen months. My parents didn’t tell me or the rest of my family apart from my eldest sister. My sister told my wife last year before Christmas ,as my mother is slowly dying. She told my wife I should have a discussion with my mother before she dies. It’s hard as she has mild dementia and is reluctant to talk about it. I self diagnosed a long time ago, the knowledge that they knew all along came as a shock and I feel severely let down as l also had a stammer until my mid thirties.No help with that either. I had to overcome that myself. I’m getting help now and paying for it myself. I’m getting reassessed through the GP. I want to know where l am on the neurodivergent scale. I know where you are coming from. Life’s been much harder than it should have been. My wife has been so supportive and luckily her sister is a psychologist and reassures me that it’s not me imagining lm autistic, l am.I have self doubt as l have got this far in life even though it has been a struggle.

[@OldTimer1970]

@@alunwilliams2142 sadly, my mum passed away when I was 35, aggressive breast cancer, so feeling you too. It's a screwed-up world, but at least we have answers now. At least we have a voice now. It doesn't help us much, but at least today's generation hopefully won't have the same struggles.

[@alunwilliams2142]

I’m glad children now are getting the help they need and hopefully this can’t happen again. Sadly the school knew as it was a teacher who spotted it and spoke to my mother. There was help available at that time as l have researched it . The standard answer l get and you probably do is it was a different time them. Thank goodness for channels like this and other help through the internet. I wish you well in the future 🤞

[@OldTimer1970]

@@alunwilliams2142 Yeah, that answer always makes me laugh, regardless of time period it doesn't ever make it right or okay. It's always a pleasure (irrespective of the subject matter) to chat to someone in our community. I wish you strength for yours.

[@claudiaochayon2730]

That's awful. Hope you get dx and find peace. I'm also late self dx at 58.

[@xoshelbz]

“Let’s see how great minds think differently.” LOVE that. 💜

[@katereed4764]

In my experience as self-diagnosed, after struggling to figure out my son’s struggles, I’m going to point a finger at schools for being the reason the “middle-class white boy” traditionally got the diagnosis. Schools are great at creating intolerable situations for autistic and adhd kids. So desperate parents (with the resources) take their “difficult” children to psychologists and therapists. Girls, in particular, often manage to not be a “problem” for the school system, so do not get the recognition or assistance they need. (hoping it is somewhat different now. I mean, there was nothing for different, awkward, difficult kids back in the 60s when I was suffering through school and life.)

[@toaojjc]

School did not pick up on my then 10 and 8 year old being autistic in 2023. It was my selfdiagnosis followed by the realisation that the girls might be too that led up to them now being diagnosed and supported and me still trying to get diagnosed. (I was on a waiting list for 13 months and then they just this week announced that they can't do a diagnostic traject anymore due to lach of personel... so now my health insurer is looking for another provider....

[@andybowker74]

@@katereed4764 even in the 80s there was nothing, at least in the UK

[@tiffanylbacon]

More stress = more severe symptoms until I reach burnout and then I don’t function at all.

[@tiffanylbacon]

I take my meds the same way. When I know I need to get a lot done and I need to focus, I take my meds. When I know I don’t have deadlines, I don’t. HUGE difference. And yes, the mind is quiet.

[@SOSPuff]

I got my diagnosis and my first meds a little less than a year ago (and I'm turning 40 in 10 days). I describe my first experience with meds as such: I felt like the horizon moved further from me, like the room got more spacious. I could breathe, deeply, without the sound of my own breathing overstimulating me! I could set the noise my kids make apart, and just be present without being hyper-vigilant! My life has changed a lot since then. I'm more balanced, more serene. To think I could have known that earlier in my life is something I'm still in grief about, but at least I can move forward now.

[@JustClaude13]

When I first thought I might be autistic I studied everything I could. I asked what autistic people had in common and what the condition was like. It all sounded incredibly familiar. So I found the most reliable online assessments and asked if I could be autistic, too. They all agree that I probably am, but I should get a proper diagnosis. Fortunately, I'm in an HMO in California, and I can refer myself for mental support. So I went to a therapist to ask. She said at 64 a diagnosis would be too difficult and expensive to be worthwhile, but I sure did seem autistic to her, so let's just go with that. Okay, whatever, close enough. I hear that about 60% of autistics also have ADHD, and I show signs of that, to. Short attention span, intense focus on things that interest me and easily distracted if I'm not interested. So I did those assessments, too. Nope, not a chance. It's just autism speaking. But without the garish puzzle pieces. The online assessments are incredibly valuable tools.

[@nicolelake5848]

I think this sort of thing is just a massive confidence killer for a lot of diagnosed Autistic people, hence why there is the push back. I was diagnosed with Autism as a child, and I have a very high IQ (so my lack of success isn’t due to lack of intelligence). I have never been in paid employment and had to drop out of university. Life is a huge struggle that I haven’t been able to overcome. So when I see so many successful people saying they struggle with both Autism and ADHD, and they can mask well because they are more intelligent than people like me. They won’t ever admit that perhaps they have less Autistic traits? perhaps they are affected for mildly? No, they have it just as bad and are just super smart. That does make people like me feel even more like worthless sacks of crap, hence the pushback. You can tell me I am stupid for this and just didn’t work hard enough, fine, but please try to understand the flip side.

[@histoiresdundragonnier861]

Totally okay with that ! I've probably got BAP (broad autism spectrum, or maybe autism but on a mild way), combined with ADHD. But I've got friends with autism and I see the difference, it's not big... but still. And lets not talk about people with more "severe autism", it just not the same if you can keep a job, manage to go to appointments, actually manage with a bit of help to comminucate quite properly, etc etc. Doesn't mean people like me don't have struggles that are valid, but it's still easier because non-the-less having kind of success on society level, does hell mean a lot. And just being able to live on your own and such. Like surviving and living is just not the same thing.

[@Dancestar1981]

The NDIS is discriminating against neurodivergent adults in Australia it’s blocked my vital social and community support funds and access to my essential activities for my everyday physical and mental health and wellbeing

[@nicolelake5848]

@@Dancestar1981 Well that’s terrifying. Would you mind me asking, what is the NDIS?

[@Dancestar1981]

@ it’s supposed to be a system to fund those with disabilities to have access to social activities in the community

[@nicolelake5848]

@@Dancestar1981 That really sucks, in the UK I mostly rely on help from charities with this stuff. I did go to a government funded Autism group, which is gone now… Luckily the financial support is still there, but who knows how long that will last now that the euthanasia bill has passed here.

[@halburke2947]

We are not taking anything away from high support needs autistics when we acknowledge a low support needs diagnosis.

[@Alystasia04]

Got diagnosed myself as soon as I turned 18. Diagnosed again at 24 when my mom realised she might have it. Took the same meds and dose and brand whicj worked wondere. Suddenly I'm paying 93euros a month instead of 11eu🎉

[@ruthhorowitz7625]

I wish I had been diagnosed that young. I was diagnosed at age 57 and have written my own book 'Living with Autism Undiagnosed '

[@turtleanton6539]

Ooof😮

[@pb11118]

Me too. Just diagnosed in my 40s & have an autistic child. Didn't realise that I was struggling until this. I want to read your book!

[@laynahodgson4994]

@ruthhorowitz7625 I'd like to read your book too

[@ruthhorowitz7625]

@@laynahodgson4994 awesome 😃

[@sploders1019]

I also wanted to mention, I love what you’re doing! I watched the intro when it first came out and subscribed, but forgot about the bell and got excited when I saw all these videos all of a sudden

[@DavidLindes]

36:34 - "my life was basically a cycle of: run myself into the absolute ground, be unwell, recover, go again." -- so relatable! ❤‍🩹

[@ArtyAntics]

One thing the NHS could do is accept private diagnosis for NHS prescriptions. That way those that can afford it would take the burden off the waiting list of those that can’t.

[@victordonavon292]

Except private diagnosis isn't credible or quality-assured. Your desire expediency is myopic and thus ignorant of a whole host of problems that you'll create with your "solution"

[@keirapendragon5486]

I feel like - from my self-diagnosed perspective, that it feels more like a series of dials that have a wide range across the population of ASD and ADHD ppl, and each individual has a range on each of those dials that might be the whole dial or might just be one spot and at any given point a person on the spectrum might have their dial for sensitivities etc turned to their max or to their min and it's all very personal and varies based on the settings on the other dials and other inputs. Like being overstressed due to circumstances out of our control, like chaos in our lives, a bad health week etc.

[@ruthallen3774]

I really appreciate and like the way you put this.

[@theblackdogandme]

I was diagnosed adhd in the mid 80s in my mid 30s (in Canada) at my university because I kept having to drop out of my Masters programs due to extreme anxiety. However despite trying meds over the years off and on plus numerous therapy sessions, I never really took it seriously till 2 years ago when I decided to TRY to accept I have it and to work with it. Yikes! So hard but I am trying. Younger generations are more accepting of me but my generation thinks I'm a drama queen etc. Sigh. So there is hope as younger people will help us be accepted as merely human and not different...

[@elisabethpetts4768]

My diagnosis has been a revolving door of sudden realisation as I begin to understand *why* I do/did something a certain way. It's validating, but at the same time, I'm now questioning everything. And diagnosis seems to be the end of the road, medically

[@lunamothtarot9636]

"My GP is a plonker, or doesn't listen..." 😂 so true, and I have LITERALLY had this experience...it's hopeless. Self-diagnosis is the best answer

[@annap62407]

Basically a lot of us fell through the cracks bc we were never middle-class 5 year old Caucasian males. I’ve always had a fear of admitting to anything that doesn’t fit societal norms due to childhood trauma from being punished for my autistic traits.

[@caras4766]

Something I would like to respond to is Ellie's comment that if the medication was for a physical disability they wouldn't let it run out - I have multiple physical disabilities and am in community with many other physically disabled people. They absolutely do let the medication we need run out, and they're equally careless about it. In my experience, the mainstream medical profession as a whole just doesn't care about disabled people in general.

[@kxjx]

The evidence from genetic research seems to be pointing toward a large number of genes being involved in autism. It looks more and more like there are a large number of people who have some of these gene variations and will have strong autistic traits but not necessarily reach the formal diagnostic threshold.

[@shilohbauer]

If they don't meet the diagnostic threshold, then their "autistic" traits are likely very weak. The diagnostic threshold is pretty low, especially compared to where it was 50 or 60 years ago.

[@andrewwright9512]

We need a change to allow diagnosis outside of psychiatry. Psychologists and GPs should be able to diagnose. GPs should not need the ok of a Psychiatrist to be able to prescribe, which is currently the case in Australia.

[@_c_y_p_3]

“Great minds think differently” YO!!!!

[@TheRawChuck]

I was diagnosed with Bipolar but not until I was 24. I had already failed out of high school and my Navy computer school too. I have to admit that the meds for Bipolar are very helpful to me. I wish there was some kind of financial support here in the States instead of just disability. I have been on disability for Bipolar for 23 years now. $900 per month is really not enough. I can't afford to go off of disability for another six years because then I'll be 65 and I'll be getting SS retirement. If I lose my Bipolar diagnosis now I lose my tiny disability checks. I hate not being able to work. Sometimes I'm unable to shower for over a week. I really hate that. I'm still trying to find the strength to work out, even just a little. Internally I'm still quite exhausted by life. When I was working I would get exhausted by noon. I couldn't go out at night. I'm married now and my wife loves me even though I'm Autistic. She has ADHD and is a member of MENSA which is why we never run out of things to talk about. People tell me that I have pretty privilege so I have to accept that even though I don't see it myself. I've learned how to be less blunt and that's one of the tougher things I had to learn in masking. I have absolutely no idea how to find other Autistic people near me. I live in a small town of roughly 5,000 and I'm 45 miles from Austin which is not a big city but it's the closest. Since I have bad anxiety while driving I can't just drive to Austin or Houston to hang out with people.

[@martintyler-nah1024]

Thank you Ellie for characterising the struggle in the context of the all pervasive norms of capitalism and hyper individualist ableism. Sometimes I just need to stay in bed & that’s OK ♾️💖♾️

[@LizArgall]

This is really lovely. 🙂

[@foljs5858]

If you're not non-verbal, can control your meltdowns, and don't need constant vigilance and support from your parents to even dress and eat, then you have mild autism - it's a relative thing, it doesn't mean you're fine. Simple as that, not sure why people complicate it and pretend like it's all the same. Even the DSM has 3 levels.

[@shilohbauer]

Thank you! I'm getting really fed up of people erasing the broad spectrum of severity in autism. They have absolutely _no clue_ just how severe and profound autism can be!

[@jsonbourne9799]

Yes. I have dual diagnoses but imposter syndrome because I know that other people have *much* greater challenges than I do. "Low support needs" is a good label for me.

[@Dancestar1981]

The levels don’t stay stable depending on the situation they can change constantly in a day every day. Just because you can live independently doesn’t mean your condition is mild. That statement makes me so angry, and do you want to know why? I live independently but I am unable to work and haven’t been able to in over twenty years and I’m not getting the support that I should be getting from the NDIS to make my life bearable. It’s attitudes like this that block my essential supports, and I’m sick to death of it.

[@caras4766]

One thing I'm having a hard time understanding is how diagnosis can hugely affect someone's quality of life like Ellie is saying re her own experiences. After years of research, I'm almost certain I'm autistic and ADHD, and am enormously struggling. Something that's causing a lot of despair for me is that I just can't see much of a way of improving things - I do plan on seeking diagnosis, but it doesn't seem like diagnosis will result in much in the way oh help. Possibly meds for ADHD, but it'll be a long time until I could access them. It doesn't really seem like there is much in the way of support for autism and ADHD. Just feeling a bit hopeless. Edit: this isn't meant as an invalidation of Ellie or anyone else's experiences. I of course believe that diagnosis did make an enormous difference for them. Just struggling to understand exactly how. In a bad autistic burnout and depression rn so finding it hard to see hope.

[@Tctiffany]

Morr and more I'm finding that my ADHD diagnosis needs to be dual diagnosis. When i heard the story that everyone has two wolves inside i thought everyone was crazy like me. When they first labeled me as bipolar i was ya, seems right im high whe im up and way low when im down. But the antidepressants were bad...they all failed. But Adderall was wrong too, so i thought tha meant i couldn't be ADHD till my kid got diagnosed!😅. And here we are labeled adhd and the more i hear, read and see the more im like oh...thats not justa a weird me thing... Oh many people with both autism and ADHD do this... Kool...oh... bummer I'm way less than i thought 😂

[@deeppete1557]

Great Podcast. Spot on with everything. Imagine what it's like in ireland. Our HSE is Not fit for purpose THERE ARE OVER 80,000 people in ireland with ADHD only 10% are getting diagnose! !

[@Dancestar1981]

And I bet it’s all men as the past research is male centric

[@kathiebradley5881]

I've tried unmasking but I just end up being annoying and my RSD gets triggered which leads to self isolation. Going to check out meds for the adhd part of my Audhd.

[@saffsholistichealth]

I feel like ibe rarely masked unless i was in a situation that felt highly highly uncomfortable or even socially unacceptable to me i would have masked yet felt like "this so wrong i dont like this at all" And my way of stimming wasn't reallu visible it was more of and still saying affirmations to myself repeatedly ans for years it was also crying and rocking and shaking when on my own at home to just release all the stress Feel so bad for all of us who had or still feel we have to mask 😢

[@wizkeyjack]

Thanks! :j

[@MWear-x8t]

I think more "level 1" autistic people should help those with level 2 and 3 have platforms. You are right that there are many others who need a voice.

[@vazzaroth]

I wish it was even more normalized to speak about the medication by name. I'm curious which one she's talking about and would be directly helpful for me to find out. I've gone from Stims to buproprion/welbutrin and nothing worked perfectly. That "capitalism machine' was why I try not to stay on welbutrin. The stims keyed me up and made me agitated but welbutrin does that in my homelife because, yes exactly, I can't 'rest'. It makes me feel anxious and freaked out to be even remotely still. A lot of the times it feels great and I feel capable and I can focus on what I want for the first few hours of the XR, but then the last 2 hours are agitation and I worry about coming off way harsher than I mean to my wife, which happens almost every time I end up taking the meds.

[@alpachinko9154]

This was really awesome - I'm currently, self dx AuDHD, traumatic time being incorrectly (IMO) assessed for the Autism component. Referred to my local NHS ADHD assessment team, but agoraphobia and depression have prevented me from taking the next necessary step in beginning that process. My therapist seems to be in agreement with my self dx, and also has made me aware to the possibility of unresolved trauma. I wouldn't have considered that before, not for me anyway, because I wouldn't have believed (and was often told) that I "deserved" to be someone with PTSD/CPTSD, as well as what I already know i have (including the AuDHD). I no longer place much value in an official autism diagnosis, but it's still painful to think about how my assessment went. I never once disputed the possibility of ADHD and have always believed that trauma exists (action - reaction model driven mostly) Currently, I've had

[@alpachinko9154]

To clarify (hopefully) I was told & led to believe that I couldn't have PTSD or even trauma at all, because I hadn't "earned" it, and I was undeserving

[@jbmuteboi2381]

Messed up thing is that I've noticed they do that to a lot of people the whole not diagnosing correctly thing

[@Dancestar1981]

Levels twos don’t get the support we need because we are dismissed by society who give everything to level 3s when it’s the level 2s who walk the line between both groups and miss out. We are the ones who have all the potential to change the world but face all the discrimination

[@caras4766]

Okay, last comment - does anyone know what the green stim toy Ellie has wrapped around her finger is? Something like that would be really helpful for me!

[@darklittlepeople]

it should be easy, really - more people need to be trained in diagnosing and supporting us, loads more job opportunities opening up for them, i'm confused... perhaps some day we will realize we are not so much of a minority at all, and the whole society will shift and adapt. i'm convinced even NTs would be better off... but hey, i know this isn't where the world is currently headed at all, it's becoming more of the nightmare for every living creature on this planet for the greed of a few, and weaponized fear and all. sorry this got real dark real quick.

[@madamenordica]

NOT TRUE in the US! BOATLOADS of doctors and neuros are saying to patients (I experienced this) "I can write you a scrip for adhd meds and you can try them to see if they help" even tho they cannot assess me for adhd OR autism b/c they aren't qualified. I'm sure it is well intentioned but also can really derail someone who is legit trying to find out what exactly is going on in their life. I was VERY lucky b/c I knew my blood pressure had been unregulated for years and I told my neuro it might not be the best idea - if she had bothered to read my chart, she would've KNOWN that, but she did NOT. When I say I was lucky, I subsequently found out not only do I have autism, but ALSO an aortic aneurysm so I mean, the meds could've killed me.

[@launacasey6513]

So true. I told my regular Dr that I did an online assessment for adhd and he was very quick to give me a prescription of Ritalin to try out. I did try it but it was short-lived because it made my heart race too much. It felt really wild to get put on Ritalin at 41 but then almost couldn't deal with the med shortage situation - I nearly had a meltdown when I had to go to pharmacy to pharmacy because no one had what I needed in the right dosage.

[@kittykatfancy]

If you self-diagnose with this stuff you by definition are asking for help and it would be great if people would listen.

[@Kagomai15]

Sorry, did you explain the context of this linkedin post you talked about and I missed it, or did you guys just assume the audience knows what you're talking about?😅 This is a really great interview though.

[@jessalizann13]

I'm gonna need the name and shop link for her stim toy...

[@alarissacamila]

hidden20 became my cozy safe place, i have felt so alone for so long in my own head, been diagnosed at 20 and im now 24. it signitificantly changed my life for the better and here in Brazil we have our own version of NHS and just like her I had to go private. In my case, I just straight out thought I was suffering from dementia after literally blanking out on test. Which led me to seek medical care, and I had the best of luck of finding my psychiatrist, she is the best medical professional I have ever had (Dra Tayana Leandro) and turns out It it was au-dhd all along.

[@mooniecrooks]

As a late diagnosed autistic person with adhd, she doesnt speak for me and i dont relate. I think she is very privileged with her platform and her size of her platform is the only reason she has been invited to all these talks. I want to hear from people who dont have such a platform and are still struggling in so many other ways. Its just a bit all self-serving to me.

[@Krista-388]

I had some similar thoughts. Thank you

[@psyhense]

I can understand where you're coming from, but it's often done with people who have large platforms as they can reach more people. A mix of both leaning more heavily towards people with large platforms would probably work best as it can reach and possibly help the largest amount of people. I'd also recommend Special Books by Special Kids on youtube for something that you may find more relatable, as they are interviews often done in the houses of people who have reached out to the channel.

[@Krista-388]

@@psyhense is this directed at me or someone else?

[@mooniecrooks]

@@psyhense I see what you mean. I'm just aware that there are not enough platforms that allow for those who are not well-dressed and appear 'normal'. In the autistic community, we have these women with a large amount of money/clothes/things and it screams privilege. I do watch SBSK. Love that channel. There have been some really impactful autistic people interviewed on there.

[@SiWaterGoblin]

I do appreciate that she addresses this - she talks about being "palatable" and masking being requirements for her being invited to things. Compromising authenticity and being unmasked in order to be visible. And then she was saying she wants to have others - people with different/higher support needs - on her channel and in her various medias. So she does seem to be aware she doesn't speak for everyone.

[@bikepackingadventure7913]

I’ve always thought I was strange and different for some reason It’s taken a new partner who has Autism and ADHD who has two children with the same to tell me that it is so obvious that I have both. I’ve done a number of recommended online tests and I pass highly in all of them. In particular is the empathy test with below 30 is signs of autism and I scored a 10. Which to be honest I’m not surprised. Because I’m a bad overthinker, I over analysed the questions to such an extent that I analysed certain words to understand the meaning and how this word can have other meanings. Drove me nuts. 😆 I struggled with the question about playing as a child and was it easy to play pretend with other children? How can I answer this because I was a loner and did not have any friends to play like this so how do I know? I still don’t have any friends, don’t want any friends, don’t want to try either, to much hassle and stress. And I’m 50 😒

[@ronpitcher138]

I was pulled in by the deadline but then drawn away once she started using Intersectional language to describe the origins of ADHD studies. Now the whole conversation feels less credible from that starting bias. Instead of focusing on neurodivergent issues, people will only hear Men vs. Women and totally politicized the entire conversation. The lack of clinical evidence to make her points with speakers like this only fuels popular psychology as misinformation. Such a bummer. Gonna keep listening for any good bits just incase though. - Random ADHD/Dyslexic guy

[@anniestumpy9918]

yeah she even divided young boys into cis and not cis, a bit odd I thought too

[@soupformifamli]

That's unfortunate and frankly closed-minded. These terms help distinguish groups of people and how society views and tends to respond to their needs in the present and through history. There's no intention to exclude, there's only an intention to be precise in order to address potentially under-served people groups. You are, in fact, only helping to politicize language that's already widely used in fields like sociology and psychology. Over the last several years, there's been an ill-intentioned effort from one side of the political spectrum (i.e., the conservative side) to mock or even attack the use of these terms. It's certainly part of a wider effort to instill a narrow, simplistic understanding of the world (usually rooted in religion), and discourage basic empathy for others who are different from you, making you easier to manipulate politically. The world and people in it are complex and multifaceted, but that's no reason to fear it; it's a reason to immerse yourself in it.

[@ronpitcher138]

​@@soupformifamli Ultimately this issue is more of an underlying philosophical one concerning language and how it is used. The political conflict and partisanship are downstream of this. These intersectional "Terms" being used are founded in Postmodern and Marxist Identity philosophy. While inclusivity and precise understanding may be the intended goal of this language for some, that is not the effect it has on society. If you read the founding Intersectional/Marxist/Postmodern thinkers, it is clearly stated that "inclusivity" and "Precision" are not the intended goals. These philosophies oversimplify the complexity of human nature into simple power dynamics based on identity groups. They do exactly what you claim to be the problem. Many studies on poorly executed DEI programs show this constant dissection of identities only creates further division. Intersectional language is loaded with moral judgments and this also creates an "Othering" effect. It is "Political" by design so I am in no way changing the intended function of this language by commenting on it here. Just because professional fields like psychology and sociology use intersectional language, that does not prove it as an effective tool for positive change. You will find endless evidence institutional failure with psychology and sociology studies if you are open minded enough to see it. Study reproducibility and fraudulent publication are a constantly growing problem within Psychology. This is largely cause by the insertion of intersectional ideas into institutional practice over the last several decades. It abandons empirical evidence for subjective ideological values. I say this as a life long Democratic voter and Atheist. It's easier for me to see issues with republican/conservatives because I've done it my whole life. It's much more difficult to see the issues within the Dem party or own political biases. I've been very fortunate to grow up with diverse populations and ways of thinking. I assure you my issue is not thinking too simplistically through these colossal ideas. It would be much easier to live in fear if I were less curious. While I slightly disagree with some of your points and insults to my intellect I do appreciate the comment.

[@elwood393]

For what it’s worth, I think group segmentation plays a very important role in psychology and medicine, especially where research and diagnostics are concerned. Oversimplification can be problematic when trying to understand and address issues that affect broad swaths of people. As an example of how segmentation can be important, take statistics for suicide. If you just said “X% of men commit suicide versus Y% of women” the picture looks one way. But if you break that down further, you can see really important details that just don’t appear if you only look at men versus women. Like that the risk of suicide increases substantially in individuals with autism or with a gender identity that doesn’t match sex assigned at birth. Segmentation may not be appropriate in all of life’s various contexts. But there’s absolutely a place for it in medicine and psychology. I would go so far as to argue that these fields wouldn’t be as effective without considered segmentation, because treatment based on generalization and assumptions (ie, a lack of good data) is just not as helpful.

[@Jenna.g.85]

Ellie is great

[@j.b.4340]

4:00 Her bigoted sexism is not okay. In the early 90’s, all of the autistic people that I knew were of Indian (Asia) descent. They were one reason I didn’t find out that I had it, until very recently. I was nothing like them. Recent access to real information, and psychiatric services, is the other reason. Females with autism aren’t being missed. The ratio of boys to girls is not close to 50/50.

[@Dancestar1981]

It absolutely is true research in the past has been completely male centric and thank god that is changing. Women who are forty and over were the lost generation and were misdiagnosed or not diagnosed.

[@BadMotivator66]

‘Like’- everyone every 3 seconds.

[@BipolarCourage]

Those who can "mask" most of the time have little to no impairments. Always preaching there is no such thing as "mild" etc. Able to do things like public speaking etc.

[@marianne7659]

And they think they can talk for everyone

[@BipolarCourage]

@@marianne7659 and generalise common traits that could apply to half the population, which have no actual impairments. Seems to be a popularity contest for many of these influencers. For profit.

[@marianne7659]

What they are doing is very bad. It’s become the asperger community but you cant even say that word anymore. Its like classic autism and profound autism doesn’t even exist. Just level 1 Alot of them don’t even have a diagnosis

[@flowerchasethesunshine9063]

23:48

[@flowerchasethesunshine9063]

@@marianne7659 30:30

[@anniestumpy9918]

I just wish she would speak a little less dialect, it's very hard to follow her talk. (the auto-generated subtitles are not very good and thus only a small help)

[@tiffanylbacon]

As a GenXer we didn’t get diagnosed with anything. No mental illness, no disabilities (unless physically apparent). As a child I was labeled as shy, over active, disruptive, loner, distracted, gifted…….I struggled to make friends. I preferred to be alone, to read or play solitaire. For hours. I hated having my stuff touched or moved. I learned to mask at a really young age. Meltdowns were internalized because “tantrums” were punished. I wanted to be a good girl. I developed an eating disorder at 10 years old. I was diagnosed with ADHD at 48 and now I realize that I am also on the spectrum. I am rigid, black/white, struggle with transitions, prefer to be alone, struggle with socialization, struggle with focus, and mask like crazy so much so that I have no idea who I am. I know I am AuDHD because my 17 year old is and he said, “duh Mom, I have known for years.”