No Vlogoween? Where am I? My Mental heath.

⬇️ EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW! ⬇️
Hello, I hope this brutally honest little chat may have cleared the air on where i have been mentally. This video explains a little more about the troubles that i've been enduring. It does get pretty personal, so please just bare with me, its been words i've wanted to explain for a long time now.
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[@thekitschycactus]

I am so deeply sorry for the loss of your sweet kitty. Pets are family and enrich our life’s so much.

[@Livingdeadgirll]

Pets are so WIDLY attached to us, even though we cant communicate properly with them. I had been stressing about that day for years prior, trying to make myself "ready" but truth is, you're never ever ever ever going to be ready.

[@kaydanjohnson817]

Don't feel like you have to make videos, we understand. Your mental health is more important. 🖤

[@Livingdeadgirll]

I feel like i'm FINALY getting close to a time where i can imagine making content again. The absolute worst is behind me, i have been trying SO hard to calm and heal myself in my free time.

[@StefanieRoyMusic]

I cried when you showed the video of Peach. I think it's important to show these things because they are a big part of reality... I'm so sorry you've been going through so much. xx

[@Livingdeadgirll]

I did'nt even think to add a trigger. That was just during one of her worst days. She was wheezing so much, for so long. It was the most stressful week ever having to administer the antibiotics a couple times a day. & for it to not be working, was the worst part.

[@EllenGuest83]

Cori, take your time sweetheart we will all be here for you when you eventually feel better. You have had it tough, that's a lot for anyone to deal with. So sorry to hear about Peach she was a lovely cat. Don't worry about posting content but we appreciate you been real. Sending love to you and yours at this difficult time xxxx

[@bogrot69]

Hey Cori. I was revisiting one of your vids about the Gripfast boots, having just got a pair, and I saw the title of this one. My curiosity got the better of me. First off, I'm so sorry to hear about your losing your little one. As an avid cat lover I know too well how difficult that can be. One of mine died in my arms and I was devastated. At the time I was in my 40s, I'm now 55, and had been through many difficult times but this was soul crushing. It took several years for me to handle seeing pictures of her. Every night she slept by my side with my arm around her and her purring would put me to sleep. I missed her so much. The only thing that makes it easier is time. We all grieve differently so take as long as you need and look after yourself. I also grew up with a mentally ill parent, my mother. I went through the same ordeal trying to get her back on her meds, which did wonders but she was un co - operative and I couldn't force her. The mental health act is flawed in that way. It wasn't until I moved her into a care facility that she got the help she needed. A very difficult time that was but she needed full time supervision. Life throws so many challenges our way, just know you're not alone. Judging by the comments, you have a lot of people in your corner. All the best, Keith, Vancouver CA

[@haleighhill802]

I’ve missed you! Thanks for being real. I hope things get a little easier for you. ❤️

[@Livingdeadgirll]

Much more cheery content to come dear!

[@Kuindersman]

It may feel like you've lost the battle, but you know you've made improvements and steps forward before - and you'll do it again! In your own time. Not everything had to get better all at once, it's little choices. Little steps, that build overall. Sending love!

[@Livingdeadgirll]

You're SO right, ive been trying really hard, with all my might to start to pick myself back up and re set habits.

[@HyperLunaGurl]

I am sorry for your loss, and your struggle. I can't imagine what you're feeling right now. But I see it in your videos, you are strong, you got this. It may feel hard now, and you may fall down several times in the course of getting back up, but you will get back up. It will get better. Things will get better. And don't you ever, EVER, feel like you're letting any of us down by not creating. For someone, who gives so much, it is fine to take some you time. Your health comes first, Cori. Come back when you're ready. And we will even understand if you have to leave. But just know we are always here for you.

[@randielions658]

Corey, I can relate so much. It's beyond hard to have a mentally ill parent. It takes a toll on your mental well-being.

[@Livingdeadgirll]

Were doing everything humanly possible to get him the help, we just feel YEARS behind, as we have been spending the last almost ten years trying to navigate adulthood with very little help from one side.

[@theretroreader]

Sending positive vibes your way❤. Losing a family member is hard, especially when there is nothing you can do to help. But it will get better, and you will look back on all the great times you've had together and you'll cherish those moment. I understand what it's like to grow up with mentally unstable parents, it's a struggle that is all too real... my mom is bipolar and my dad is a narcissist in denial. Although I have a hard time giving advice to people going through a hard patch, I'm always here to lend an ear❤, I know having people just listen always helps me out.

[@barbithebookfae8644]

I cry. I love you. I love Peach. ❤️🇨🇦❤️

[@Livingdeadgirll]

Thanks friend!!

[@GivethemElle]

Sorry for the loss of your kitty, i definantly know what its like to lose a pet... It took me about 9 months after the death to even look and think about adopting a new pet. Defiantly know all about the mental health problems i have a crazy summer and am still trying to catch up with what even happened all together :) take your time on coming back to being creative it just takes time some days

[@gh0stgh0ul83]

Please hang in there Corey! I am so beyond sorry for your loss! My fur baby means the whole world to me too, I completely understand the devastation! I cried like a baby as you were explaining and showing footage, completely broke my heart! Don't worry about taking time to heal right now, we understand and only want you to get back to a better place! My heart goes out to you! All my best wishes and much love! 🎃🖤🍂

[@Livingdeadgirll]

Im so sorry to bring you to tears, i didnt intend to hurt my lovely internet friends. Real life is a heartbreaking experience, its good to not hide and just.. say it all how it is.

[@plfjh247]

I am so sorry for your loss. You did the right thing for your sweet girl.

[@EclecticPsychotherapist]

Aw, I am so sorry for your loss of Peach. Animals enrich our lives in such a majickal way. She seemed so amazing

[@TragicElegance]

It's hard trying to be a parent to your own parent...

[@Livingdeadgirll]

Severely! Its just hard not having the guidance & instead, being the guidance.

[@lxstghost175]

I'm so sorry you had to go through losing a member of your family. It's so hard. Take all the time you need to heal. We love you so much! Don't give up on yourself.

[@JustYaeWendt]

So sorry for your loss we have several rescued elderly furbabies here on the homestead. Knowing their day will arrive one day. All the more reason to show as much love and affection as possible each day. Miss Peach is no doubt in a much better place now eternally grateful for such I loving considerate caregiver. Thank you so much for your valued time and consideration Miss Cori .

[@Livingdeadgirll]

Thank you for the kind comment. Ive been fretting about this day for a number of years now. Checking wether she was breathing in the middle of the night. Ive been trying to prepare, but nothing can prepare you for that.

[@AishlingONeill]

Get through it all the best you can ❤️ Having such a loss like that is so horrible and then added things with family or your own struggles just don’t help and it can get overwhelming. Just remember to take care of yourself the best you can til things improve a little ❤️ And as for your KZbin and social media, remember we will always be here for whenever you’re more able for it in future. Try not to pressure yourself too much with it either. Wishing you all the best and sending you all the love 💕💕💕

[@Livingdeadgirll]

Thank you so much for all the understanding!

[@lovebug6491]

This video came up with my search for my help. ... I am also in a state of prolonged "stuck" you are also my kind crafty unapologeticaly? creative soul. I'm new sub now. I wish you peace and good health, .. nd for hope and healing. I similarly understand some of your struggles. I also needed to not feel alone. I found positivity through your story. I'm catching up on your videos... just watched the new one but had wanted to comment before here. I'm glad you have people around you who are supportive. You will get your creativity back. When mine is MIA I collect download abstract pictures of things that inspire me.. for when I can come back.. glad I found you. Thanks for sharing.

[@coyfish96]

I'm so sorry to head about the struggles you are facing right now. Death can fuck up your whole world. I'm so sorry to hear about Peach. Mental illness is a bitch. I struggle myself but my brother struggles much more. Its crazy how someone else's troubles can manifest into your own depression even when everything was fine. Taking care of others is exhausting. I hope you and your family are able to figure everything out for your dad. I understand the struggle all to well of a family member with severe mental illness. Hopefully there will be more readily available and affordable help out there someday. I hope things look up soon. You are an amazing person and deserve happiness. Much love to you

[@TypicalJosh36]

Damn girl you look so drained . You will get through this . Give you best of luck and hope your holidays are amazing.

[@Livingdeadgirll]

so.. so.. SO drained! Its been rough. Many nights with no sleep, lots of law mumbojumbo to read through.

[@TypicalJosh36]

@@Livingdeadgirll ya just keep on going and u will get through this . Just in the deep in of shit. Got to dig urself out and always do things that make you happy. Smoke the green and drink the yummy coffees and jam to ur fave jams and enjoy life. Dark days will past and bright ones will break through the darkest of day 🤘 keep kicking ass and keep being amazing!!

[@jeffsims8270]

Not to steal yer thunder but I too understand what its like to have a parent whom has mental illness. Thankfully for this/my situation there is meds to help it but when you mentioned that part about how a parent can't be a parent because of the illness, it can REALLY take its toll! So I guess I wanna say that I kinda feel your pain. Hang in there! Fyi: I just found your vlogs today and I have been enjoying them. You and Justin seem like my kind of peeps! I live in California and have always wanted to see Canada so that also keeps me intrigued cuz I am always interested in hearing of different places up there. Stay creative, original, authentic and diy but always feel like you can go at any pace you decide.

[@Leah.says.the.things]

Cori, I am SO very sorry you lost your sweet Peach *hugs*

[@SullenxRiot182]

I'm so sorry about Peach and everything else you've been going through

[@Livingdeadgirll]

Thank you so much, its a wild ride, grief.

[@juliao.8479]

Take your time to get better and come back when u r feeling better! I'm so sorry u went to such a lot :(

[@kaydanjohnson817]

I full understand with losing your cat. My best friend of 12 years passed away on the 6th of October, and it DESTROYED me. She was a rescue idk how old she was, but she was an adult when I got her. She ended up passing of old age in my arms. And it's still something that I'm not talking well. So I know the feeling and I'm sorry about your cat.

[@karencooper4802]

Stay strong for your other cat to if u

[@Livingdeadgirll]

I couldnt imagine... Then what. What do you do when your whole world goes limp in your arms? Ugh, that must have been the worst. If i hadnt woken up and realized how long she had been wheezing for, we would have woken up to a stiff peach laying by our feet. I couldnt imagine that pain. At least we got to whisper sweet nothings into her ear as the doctor put the needles in.

[@kaydanjohnson817]

Livingdeadgirll I knew it was coming, she was having a hard time walk and as the day went by she stopped walking. At the moment I had no money to take her to the vet, so I made her as comfortable as I could. I held her and I talked to her and soothed her as she passed. And I didn't deal with it. I don't know how long I sat there crying after she passed. I had to take some medicine to calm down just so I could sleep that night. But I'm glad I did hold her. I'd rather have that knowing her last moments were with me, rather than coming home or something and finding her.

[@Livingdeadgirll]

YES, thats SO important. I couldnt imagine if we had just kept sleeping and woke up to that. That would have been a death of eternal suffering. :( We have to be strong for them.

[@Thirdeyeddeer]

im so sorry for your loss and sending warm and love to you. my dad is also very mental sick and alcoholic, and i know how it feels to come home crying and being frustrated because he dosn't care about anything. it's hard to be the grown up when you are supposed to be the child. again sending warm and love to you. get well

[@Livingdeadgirll]

I feel like over the past couple weeks, hes seen HOW much his care means to us. I hope he can find some comfort in the efforts we have been putting in to make sure he gets that care. Its been rough, lots of icky feelings. Lots of guilt, but its all for his better good.

[@c333th]

I'm so indescribably proud of you and so incredibly... empathic? I just. I feel you. Shits fucking hard. And I dont want to take that from you, but I need you to know - all those positive habits you've been forming, and the level of sanity you've been creating for yourself over the last year or few, I want you to know that that work isn't undone. And I know it feels like it, so much. But maybe if you think of it in the way of brain patterns. You spent so much time correcting yourself to a better path - and those pathways of neurons and all that mumbo jumbo, are still stronger for what you've done - and they will be easier to grasp a hold of and put back into motion when you're ready. I can't imagine the stress, and the selflessness and sacrifice you're goin through right now. But you still are that beautiful phoenix. The sparks still inside, its okay to take a rest from being incredible ;) you're doing everything you can right now and you're still reaching out for help when you can and that is so healthy. I just. I see your tired sad eyes and all I see is the hope and passion that still lies within. I really really really believe in you darling. Thank you for being the incredible loving being that you are, and when you find yourself down on the ground - if all you can do is respect and love your own vulnerability, let that be the candle through the storm. You show that you have the will to have the strength, and sometimes you just need a little patience with yourself.

[@Livingdeadgirll]

Ceth Légère I cant even muster up the words. This comment was SO refreshing. You’re so right!! I know I’m capable of getting back on track! I’ve been healing a lot, as my father is seemingly back on track!

[@silvisions3242]

I love you, babe. You can do anything!! stay strong

[@Livingdeadgirll]

Sending love right back atcha!

[@user-kn5eo1ft7c]

Be strong! Remember that we are always here for you!

[@Livingdeadgirll]

These comments have been rising me out of such a hard time, i would be lost with out you guys.

[@AndAllsToDoAgain]

I'm so sorry about Peach. Old age is a tough time with pets. One of my bunnies is about 12-13. Trying to keep him in working order breaks my heart. Every time the vet says there is nothing they can do it makes me angry, because I would literally do anything. I cry at the slightest thought of losing him, when I eventually do I'm sure I will be just as distraught as you with Peach. I hope your dad will come around and accept help, however small. The pain is not easy, but it means you have loved so much. Try to enjoy Halloween and all the little ones in their lion and dinosaur costumes. Take care of yourself. ♥️

[@Livingdeadgirll]

Now that the hardest parts of getting my father the help he deserves has passed, i have finally been able to look around and realize how much time has passed. Its like waking from a very deep & long nap that you weren't planning to have. Im like " oh wow, its almost halloween!!" hahaha.. we went and explored some stores the other day and it brightened my spirits. Im wishing the best for you and your Bunny! Isnt is AMAZING how close we can grow with a creature we cant even communicate with? it blows my mind.

[@notyourgrammascrafts]

I haven't even watched your log yet but I want to say you need to take time for you and for your mental health you are more than a KZbinr you are a human being a wonderful woman do you make sure that you are taking care of every part of you

[@Livingdeadgirll]

Thank you, so very much. Its been a tedious couple of months. Ive wanted to create content the whole time, but bringing myself to set up and act happy, didnt seem possible.

[@wonderfullydi]

i'm so sorry about your cat Cori.

[@neonpinkglitterstars]

I’m so very sorry for your loss. Grief and death always triggers a down ward spiral of my mental health. Dealing with a parent who needs help but won’t or can’t help it themselves, is so stressful and heartbreaking at the same time. I’m so happy everyone chipped in to help your dad. It’s nice to be given that type of hope. So thankful you have a support system, it’s so very important. Take all the time you need, I’ll be here. Sending hugs.

[@Livingdeadgirll]

Its amazing just how related things like greif and stress can be to our inner dialogue. Thank you for the love, always.

[@mrhoffame]

Just take it on day by day because two things will comes from it. 1. You will eventually look back on it and wonder how it seemed as bad as it did at the time. 2. You will feel stronger than you ever have.

[@Livingdeadgirll]

Thank you, so much, friend. You are so unbelievably correct! Gotta make this my mantra!

[@ChrisGarciduenas]

I am so sorry for your lost, stay strong.

[@Livingdeadgirll]

Trying SO HARD! & somehow getting better day by day.

[@ChrisGarciduenas]

@@Livingdeadgirll that is awesome, I've followed your channel for a few years now. And I just want you both to know we're here for you.👊

[@andiegour27]

I missed you. Don't give up, when i lost Blade my cat......i paid a lot of money too....if only it would change something. I had a very hard time and i did a memorial tattoo for him.....it helped me...well i'm glad that you're back, sorry for your loss and for my poor english. Full love 💖

[@Livingdeadgirll]

What a lovely idea! I decided to reach out to a cross stich lady on instagram and she made me the most beautiful, intricate stich of peach. It was such a healing experience seeing her immortalized in art! I understand!

[@saraheliece]

You're not alone

[@Livingdeadgirll]

Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!

[@tiki-ui9bj]

You are strong and when you're not, hold tight to your memories and most memorable times, loved ones, and your progress. Don't let anyone ...not even yourself stifle all your progress you have made.

[@Livingdeadgirll]

Oh wow, this was so lovely to read, thank you! Im very slowly picking things up where i put them down. Its very discouraging, knowing youre the SAME capable person, just feeling very incapable. I will get back on track one day soon, one day at a time.

[@ClandestineGirl16X]

Hang in there honey. things will get better. day by day, hour by hour. Im so sorry about the loss of your kitty. I feel for you. If i lost any of my cats i would literally fall apart. my world would stop. Biggest hugs in the world

[@Livingdeadgirll]

They are TRULY like little family members, the hole it leaves is huge. We cried in bed for well over 24 hours, just cry and sleep, cry and sleep.

[@ClandestineGirl16X]

Livingdeadgirll that breaks my heart. im so sorry. they definitely are. i even call them my kids 😂😂

[@lochness3224]

my last kitty would always snuggle up to me in bed and purr happily, and then when she was hot she would get out and sleep on top of the bed, when she died ( old age ) it took a very long time to get to sleep not hearing the purrs.... I think you needed to make this video for a while now, I know you really don't like sharing your private stuff, and that's fine, it really is... but you can't keep it all bottled up, the more you push it down, the more it eats you up... we don't expect Happy Cori all the time... after all you are HUMAN ... we have all been there baby girl.... sometimes you just gotta cry till there are no tears left .... it gets better , honestly ....x

[@Livingdeadgirll]

Thank you so much for this relatable comment. I can understand SO MUCH. Peach always tried to find her way under the blankies between justin and i. ( the warmest spot ) She would walk up and over our bodies ( which didnt bother us cause she was light as a feather ) and come close to where our head meets the blanket and just " pick pick pick " with her claws until we would lift the blanket for her to proudly walk underneath. hahaha. The night she passed away, we called her to bed as usual. She came up and gave me a biiiiiig head bump ( kinda like a forced kiss on her forhead) then went to justin and did the same thing. We came to the consensus that she was coming to say goodbye because she knew she wouldnt be able to last much longer.

[@skylarmarilyn9661]

Stay strong, Cori. ❤

[@Livingdeadgirll]

Thank you, so much.

[@skylarmarilyn9661]

I have been subscribed to you for the past six years and you have been one of my muses as I grew through adolescence into the adult I am now. I suffer with mental health issues and you are one of the people who constantly inspires me to stay strong, while always looking for positivity when times get tough. You have also inspired me, morally and ethically, to be the best person I can be. Thank you for being you. ❤

[@Livingdeadgirll]

This is such a meaningful comment, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I cannot thank you enough!

[@TragicElegance]

I've been getting upset thinking one day I may have to put down my current pets or them never coming home one day. Just losing them in general and how that would happen. Sucks. It'll happen one day. Just need to enjoy the time with them now. But I can't help but cry about what is inevitable.

[@Livingdeadgirll]

I would stress myself out ALL THE TIME about it, but in the end, youre never ready!

[@itsjustbrytt7697]

I cannot fathom the thought of losing my babies. I'm sorry for your lost. If you need a pen pal, email me(click on my KZbin description) we'll swap info, sometimes writing it out helps. It helps with my depression. Take care corey. ❤

[@Livingdeadgirll]

Thank you so much! I just might have to take you up on that offer!

[@itsjustbrytt7697]

@@Livingdeadgirll Of course! Here is my email and we can swap addresses for letters. [e-mail].

[@reluctantvKat37]

Oh gosh honey, i have been so worried about you since we last talked, but didn't know how to reach you to check on you...and in that time, my world has drastically changed too, and i SO feel your pain...i wish i could just reach through the screen and hug you, i wish i could be there for you. Please know you are not alone. i'm so SO sorry for the loss of your kitty! i know the agony of watching them hurt and having to make such a hard decision in the end. *deep breath* My service dog, Jade, suddenly and out of nowhere, became violently ill, and as i got her outside, and she collapsed on the ground in obvious torment and confusion, i knew she was dying. The half hour it took my husband to speed home to help me get her to the emergency vet was the longest of my life. When we got her there, we found out that her stomach had actually flipped itself over and twisted inside her, cutting off all her digestive system and it was a death sentence....unless we could come up with $40-$60,000 ON THE SPOT for surgery, and the surgery was not guaranteed to save her life. despite the cost, i would have done it in a heartbeat if we could, but we just couldn't raise anything close to that kind of money, and my baby was is terrible pain. So we made the only other choice, and they put her to sleep in my arms. Needless to say, i have been grieving constantly for weeks, and just as you mentioned for yourself, i too have the worst time just getting out of the damn bed. When i am alone in the house, i feel Jade's absence so strongly that it's like someone is squeezing my heart and it can be hard to breathe. For days i am numb, and then other times i cry for 3 hours straight before falling asleep. Then once in awhile i get a GOOD DAY, and i shower, and go out and see my supportive friends or in-laws...and i'm ok for a bit, and then it all hits me again. For the first few weeks, i carried her collar with me everywhere and slept with it...now i have a glass pained locket with her fur in it, that i wear instead. We made a memorial for her in our home, and it has helped some...but yes, grief just fucks you up....and i tell you all this not for your pity, but to let you know that when i say i feel you and i understand...i reeeeally do. Today i'm just struggling to get my stupid ass in the shower...if i do it, i will be pleased at the progress for today. i am so SO sorry for your loss, for the stress you are going through with your father, and for the pain and depression you are struggling with. But please hang in there, and contact me ANYTIME! We can get through this, and it is still true, our babies are never really lost to us, they are always there in our hearts...it doesn't make it easier, but it is still very true.

[@Livingdeadgirll]

Thank you so much for opening up to me like this. It truly does mean the world to know im not alone. Greif is unbearable for the first few weeks. Eventually you find a place where it doesnt stab inside of you to think about them. The house still feels rather lonely, but Salem has been coming out of her shell more and more as the time goes on as an only sister. We got our little Ceramic paw prints back from the vet and they are beautiful.

[@reluctantvKat37]

@@Livingdeadgirll i'm so glad that i didn't offend, i was a bit worried that i had depressed you with my babbling. :) Our vet did an ink paw print for Jade, and we framed it, and then took it to our friend who is a tattoo artist, and he tattooed her paw print over my heart...it means the world to me.

[@alegitsky]

[@znyznyzny]

"I smell really bad" lol me

[@Livingdeadgirll]

Always. Natural Deodorant is garbage! hahaha.

[@NoirL.A.]

what zodiac sign are you and yer bf?

[@Livingdeadgirll]

MACABRE L.A. He’s a Scorpio and I’m a Capricorn!

[@DOCTOR_SONG]

:0( HuGGs

[@genesissanchez1813]

I lost my daughter of 12 year (a black short hair cat) this January, she height five pounds and the doctor believe is was kidney failure.

[@Livingdeadgirll]

oooh, nooo! thats so heart breaking!

[@billydavidson7571]

Well hello punk rock lady 😁

[@karencooper4802]

I cried when you lost peaches i live alone in a hotel with my cat shes a maincoon amd ive had her for 6 yrs and i wouldn't be able to stay strong enough if angel my cat died

[@karencooper4802]

Stay strong

[@karencooper4802]

What did your boyfriend do bout losing peaches

[@Livingdeadgirll]

He layed with me in bed and cried, then we slept, then we woke up and instantly cried, then slept. That repeated itself for 24 hours. Then we finally bought a pizza to eat because we were starving. Then we slept, and cried. It went on the whole week, random burst of cries from the both of us. She was like a daughter to the both of us. The bond was SO strong between the four of us.

[@karencooper4802]

@@Livingdeadgirll im sorry stay strong

[@MsNatakins]

Pet deaths are horrible horrible, you want to stop crying but you just can't. Just remember the good times and the wonderful life you gave her

[@Livingdeadgirll]

All you want to do is call them over to come cuddle you to feel better but they arnt there. I couldnt even look at my other cat for a week.