No, you ARE "Disabled"

Are you disabled? No?
Are you sure?
More people have a disability than you realize. And most who don't think they do don't see themselves that way because of ableist attitudes. That doesn't mean you're not disabled.
There are many definitions of disability. If you break it down to it's root, it is having less ability than is common to the human experience. Sight, hearing, mobility, cognition, emotion, sensory...
And it is interesting the inherent ableism in the very definitions of disability, but we define it through the lens of our overall culture's perspective... which is ableist.
How do you define disability.
#DisabilityIsNotABadWord #DisabilityAwareness #ADHD #ActuallyAutistic #Ableism #InternalizedAbleism

[@gobogoo2329]

i have a sneaking suspicion that the bar for being disabled is so high because employers dont want to make accommodations for their employees

[@icythe1st]

capitalism moment

[@mayonnaiseonanescalator7237]

​@@Speed001I don't think it's unreasonable to install air purifiers. Why would it be?

[@cecilyerker]

@@UnluckyLillymost buildings already have HEPA filters in their air ducts, and air purifiers benefit everyone’s health and are inexpensive to run once installed. Remind me why you’re so unlucky?

[@buttsbrown2442]

Absolutely true.

[@gobogoo2329]

@@UnluckyLilly your comment wasnt an analogy it was just a bad example for your argument lol

[@VividPagan]

Trust me, I have a disability ruling from a judge, and people still don't think I'm "really disabled"!

[@TheSapphireLeo]

But if judges are also colonial and "aidding and abetting" eugenecists, as well as those who design the environment (cities) and with money to be unbarable for us, instead of allowing us to have free houses in fruit baring forests?

[@VividPagan]

@@TheSapphireLeo - Are you okay, friend? Have a glass of water and get some fresh air, maybe.

[@TheSteam02]

@@TheSapphireLeo Jesse what the fuck are you talking about?

[@DreamyAileen]

@@TheSapphireLeo bro had a fuckin stroke

[@cecilyerker]

@@TheSapphireLeo please take your meds, or get a prescription for some

[@leticiasoaresberwanger9319]

I hate that ADHD is not considered a disability in my country, when it so obviously makes it A LOT harder to keep a job, care for your house, or maintain relationships.

[@adjustedbrass7551]

Just stop being lazy bro You just gotta focus man

[@autumnblaze6267]

in my country autism is considered a childhood disease 😂 you just grow out of it apparently and then you're on your own

[@Cauldron6]

@@adjustedbrass7551shut up

[@AmeshaSpentaArmaiti]

​@adjustedbrass7551 yeah, man. Just ignore it, it'll go away.

[@odix87]

@@adjustedbrass7551 So true. I used to have adhd. But since I just focused and stopped getting distracted, I'm not lazy anymore lmao

[@briana9918]

Glad an autistic/adhder admits we are disabled. It feels so ableist to deny our conditions are disabilities especially when they impact our life as much as they do.

[@megzarie]

I understand that some people want to take away the disabled label from ADHD in order to normalize it, but I agree that we should accept and embrace the label of being disabled. Because if the government one day decides that ADHD is not a disability, so many people will lose access to accommodations and resources. Kids will definitely suffer more acutely and finding support for adult adhd is already difficult. I don't want to lose the resources i do have to manage my life as someone who has adhd.

[@eugenetswong]

I agree. It's not a condescending word. It's just a fact. We just need to move forward.

[@DeidresStuff]

My ADHD is just hideous. So awful. I hate it so much.

[@feedbackking1316]

Issue is all disabilities are relevant to the context, is it really a disability if the reason its a problem is because other people or society are formatted around a particular mindset? Furthermore, if we do agree it is that societies organization then does it cease to be a disability when you enter a different society? If one society had more neurodiversity and autism due to genetics or any other magic, would it then be the "normal" individuals who are disabled? The philosophy of disability is so oversimplified in this video I'd argue its nearly offensive and trying to make a five minute video to define something so abstract and relatively modern is either arrogant or naive. I mean there's a lot of reading into this topic that goes into the philosophical, psychological and physical that's just flat out ignored. Admittedly they do a good job with the glasses example and the normalization component, but there's the phenomenological component here unexplored.

[@harrylane4]

@@feedbackking1316 Genuinely wild to me that your issue here is that it doesn't give you a college-level understanding of psychology and disability. It's five minutes. It is a disability.

[@douglasphillips5870]

My neurologist told me that my dyslexia was a physical disability. I asked if that meant I could use handicap parking spaces. He said I'd need to be able to read the sign first. 😆

[@agricolaterrae]

As someone seeking an autism diagnosis in my 30s in grad school, thank you. It's proving difficult for me to accept that I'm not "being difficult" or "being lazy." I had a disability. It still feels like I'm lying when I say it, but I'll get used to it eventually.

[@mjolnir3309]

I agree.

[@Coryraisa]

I had the same thing. I have autism also.

[@kerikah]

"Being lazy" is a social construct. (I struggle too.)

[@Cauldron6]

I’m in the same boat. I feel guilty for even asking for help.

[@shawncasey7533]

Going through the EXACT same thing right now. My therapist even believes I may have autism but I'm so scared to try and go through the diagnosis process.

[@Earthismadeoflayers]

Its so hard having 'hidden' disability and everyone around just treats you like your in the way, worthless, faking, or they know and use it against you to bully, thieve or assault. Ending up with no confidence because of the way others behave is more dibilitating than the disability in the first place.

[@TomDavidMcCauley]

Yeah you definitely can’t let how other people treat you affect how you view yourself. Remember, whatever they do or say is always about them and never about you, since they’re responding to their own thoughts about the thought they have created about you. And we are not our thoughts. But a lot of them don’t know that, and that’s why they’re miserable and try to dump their suffering on others, as if that will make them feel better about themselves. Don’t fall for it

[@pariahmouse7794]

​@@TomDavidMcCauleyvery wise words!

[@Bretinator]

That sounds like a huge bunch of people who deserve being kicked out of your life.

[@MikeConwayOfficial]

I actually tried to apply for disability because of my Tourette's, and of course I got turned down, so I contacted a lawyer that someone recommended to me. This guy proceeded to tell me that if I can push a broom, then I can work and I'm not really disabled, and he refused to take my case. I'd like to see him at a job with what I got.

[@axolirvin971]

also, "can work" often doesn't equal "can be hired for wages", especially for neurodiverse people or those with other mental disabilities. Even though it's not legal, many employers discriminate against their job applicants, because it's hard for someone to prove in a court of law that they were discriminted against, vs the company just decided to hire someone else

[@Coryraisa]

That didn't sound like a true lawyer. Many ignorant people fall for the myth that "all" disabilities are physical.

[@rosevan7845]

There are other, better, and less lazy lawyers. Your case may not have been a slam dunk for him and his lifestyle but there are those out there who know their place as YOUR advocate. If you live in the same country, you may need to do what I have seen too many others do and apply for federal assistance in a state that does not deny basic rights to its residents.

[@ninatrabona4629]

The lawyer's reply seems to be a common response among the politically conservative. Technically, it is true that there is a job out there that you could do-----except it might happen to be located in Timbuktu. They know full well that some people won't be able to find a job or move to find one so then they will tell you to start some kind of business where you are. Many people can't run a business on their own--at which point the conservative will tell them " too bad, it's a dog eat dog world out there."

[@__--__]

My mum thought that cause I can do everything a non-disabled person can do, she thought I was not disabled. But then she realised that in reality I'm picking between socialising one day or going to lecturers the next, yeah, it's disabling. (Though I guess it's confidence, people actually don't care when you call them a sinner for coughing)

[@ishbelharris1857]

Trying to explain my autism diagnosis (aged 56) and my requirement for accommodations to my mother, I told her I was considered disabled under the UK's Equality Act (2010). Her response? "What nonsense! You can still walk, can't you?" I need to show her this video, although I doubt even then she will understand it. She is telling her friends that I have an incurable brain disease which is why I have always been such a difficult child/adult. Tsk, my bad... again. 🙄

[@Metqa]

At your age, and hers, I wouldn't bother. She's more concerned with saving face than saving the relationship she has with you. It will force her to admit she's wrong and sometimes (especially) older people have trouble with the cognitive dissonance that they have cause harm to their children because they are parents and parents only love and know best. if you force her confront her negative behavior, she may either lash out at you or completely deny it or ,worse, do what she's currently doing by smearing your reputation and condistion with lies. It may be best to cut losses and only discuss your needs for accomodations with her if it is absolutely necessary.

[@Drawoon]

I'm sorry to hear your mom is doing that. That really sucks.

[@ShintogaDeathAngel]

I always feel like I’ve been slapped when I see someone dismiss the more invisible conditions being disabling as “nonsense” or even “just part of who you are” (so no need to look deeper and see where your life can be improved with the right support). I’m sorry to hear how she refers to your condition and the way it affected her (with no regard to how it was for you. Holy cow!)

[@mynnri]

i am sorry that your mom is saying terrible things

[@idajasmine5305]

I haven't told my mom yet about my recent Asperger/ADHD diagnosis, but I know she probably will think that then it's my fault that I was such a difficult teenager and it will free her of any harm doing. I was (and still am) diagnosed with borderline personality disorder before, tho I think it's pretty redundant now. But I had told my mom about it, she asked what it meant and I just gave her the brief diagnostic criteria. But I have mentioned many times about the dissociation part, that it's making my life difficult when it seems I can't be in the present. One time she asked me to explain it and I did and I specifically said that it's not psychotic in any way. But she took it as it means that I have imagined anything wrong she might have possibly done or even created fake childhood memories. I told her I don't recall things that have actually have happened, mostly recently, I don't fill in the blanks with some imaginary stuff! Sometimes parents work real hard to not understand.

[@emilysnyder4857]

Thanks, I needed this explained. I was called a burden on the family the day after I said I was applying for disability and it broke me emotionally. Before that I was called crazy for going to specialists for treatment of different challenges. I really struggle with acknowledging my challenges because of my childhood beliefs and family culture. They say you lack faith if you are not healed or you have sins unconfessed. After 50 years of neuro- muscular and skeletal problems... I have not lost faith in God healing me but just accepted I was born with it and I've run out of ways to imagine bootstraps to pull myself up with. I hope persons with a disability can find acknowledgement and acceptance in society. I'm working on accepting myself first and giving myself the grace that I so desperately need to self care.

[@Goldenhawk583]

Perhaps time to stop clinging to a belief that does not do what it promises, and join those of us that do not ( or no longer) suffer the guilt of not being good enough based on a belief system,' No disrespect to you intended, but read your book cover to cover, and then tell me it is worth following.

[@rosevan7845]

I found it interesting that those who push the ,you should pray harder, on others never seem to realize that IF they prayed for you and you did not recover, their prayers weren't good enough either. Maybe god did give you issues so he could see how well your family, bio or spiritual, has faith enough to trust he knows best. It is a good practice to read the book with open eyes so you know what it says intead of what you were told it says. The value may be in seeing others fall and how they got back up and not in never falling at all. Society is such a vauge concept now that it is almost meaningless. Is the collection of competitive coworkers really society? Is the livestyle of the rich and famous the only acceptable standard? Sometimes it seems like chicken or egg to self care and society care but it doesn't have to be that way. I hope you can build for yourself a society of mutual benefit and learn new or easier ways to care for yourself in the process. You are not alone and you have friends you haven't met yet.

[@ninatrabona4629]

Needing help with activities of daily living is one definition. When my mom aged into that state of existence she was sad and ashamed. But she had "money in the bank" metaphorically speaking. She had 2 kids who wanted to help her because she had given so much to raise them. Her husband was still alive and still loved her. She had her old age pension and savings. So there's the "simply living" and there's " making a living." Americans hate the idea of not being able to be "independent" ; it is part of our culture. But if one is still able to give to others, there is no need for shame. Even something as small as sending a Christmas card can mean a great deal to a person living in prison who never gets mail and believes the outside world has forgotten them.

[@CakeofRage]

if anyone ever says "god provides" answer "god provides and he provided public support programs so I'm not turning down his gift, thanks"

[@user-wh5ir4fo4r]

neuro- muscular and skeletal problems--I have those. I am currently up and have not gone to bed because of pain. It's 6:30 am. I have to log into work in 2.5 hours. I am about to lay down and I know for sure I won't be able to function at work this morning. I have to take a half day off, maybe a whole day. I can't function mentally for work like this. I don't draw SSI but I consider myself partially disabled. The only reason I haven't applied for SSI is that I literally can't afford to. I have to work and when the time comes, stop using sick time and start using FMLA. Sadly, it's unpaid.

[@stephaniebarrows5428]

After I broke my dominant hand and suffered from tendonitis on my other wrist, I was told to wear splints (that went to my elbows), the sports Dr told me to limit use of my hands for a month … living alone, with no supportive family it friends in town, and food sensitivities (and leaky gut) that required me to buy and fix special foods in certain ways … and ADHD which I’ve often managed through vigorous exercise (running counter to a nurse’s advice to not be active) … possibly ASD … And no job (I’d literally left a job interview 30+ minutes before the hand injury) … I found myself feeling depressed, isolated, and bored and wound up / exhausted. It was a rough summer. Luckily, I’d enrolled in an online class that only required me to learn how to operate a computer mouse with my left (non dominant) hand, in spurts (as long as it didn’t aggravate the tendon issues). Carrying groceries/books, preparing food, and even washing my (then long) hair was difficult. A year later, I injured my hip flexors (?) two days before I started a temp job, and ended up having to quit because the angle of the chair and sitting all day aggravated it. I ended up needing paratransit, but I could only sign up for 3 weeks before needing an application. On the first day of school (without para transit), I literally stepped off a bus and fell on all fours when my knees gave out. As a former athlete/martial artist, this was so difficult. I’m doing much better, but the hip tightens and hurts if I go over a month w/o exercise or sit for an extended period of time. All of this is to say that, in my mind, capitalism and corporatized “medicine” have contributed to the disintegration of supportive social networks. Instead of family members and neighbors, we end up with disinterested “caregivers” and over-the-top medical bills - or injuries, if we can’t access either - after injury or a medical crisis. Aargh. Something needs to change.

[@ninatrabona4629]

Capitalism. ( us style) running amok has made it "normal" for businesses to ask fot the impossible. Move to the other coast. Have kids --if you are a man. Don't have kids--if you are a woman. Be 30 years old forever. Take out a loan to buy clothes we like you to wear because we will not pay you enough to actually afford them. Take out college loans so we don't have to train you. How you pay them off after we lay you off is your problem . Etc. No wonder Marx thought capitalism would destroy itself. Maybe climate change will end capitalism instead, while the wealthy are trying to colonize the Moon.

[@mynnri]

do you have eds? it is comorbid with adhd

[@AndreaCrisp]

I am so sorry you have dealt/are dealing with all of this. It sucks. I have ADHD-I and suspect I am on the spectrum and now nerve damage to my dominant hand from MS. Leaky gut and food sensitivities etc. despite my working on my health and gut constantly and consistently for 20 years. I also suspect EDS or hyper mobility syndrome that’s never been diagnosed. I’m 48, but only got diagnosed with ADHD two years ago. I totally understand the difficulties with the injuries and not being able to use your hand. Not getting empathy or support. I’ve had to give up everything, my business, passions, hobbies, friendships faded away, because other people can’t handle being around people who are struggling. If you have a lot of injuries, muscle related issues etc. You may also have Ehlers Danlos. It’s a genetic connective tissue disorder. It affects collagen, the most abundant thing in the body. Fascia is largely collagen so muscle pain and injuries are common. There’s no cure or treatment, just managing symptoms. After a serious back injury in 2016 I had nerve pain down my leg for 2 years. Couldn’t sit for months. Couldn’t get an MRI. The pain was gone with my first Myofascial Release Techniques treatment. Physical Therapists and massage therapists are the most common fields with this training. Although I need to go regularly it has helped my pain and functionality like nothing else. There are other certifications that also work with fascia - Structural Integration, Fascial Counterstrain and probably more. I hope you are able to find some relief and some ease. 🤗

[@annadushenkina3512]

I think the name is making it confusing: the word dis-abled literally meant "made un-able". So it makes sence to say "but if I wear glasses or squint really hard - I am able, so it doesn't apply!" ADHD is also a confusing name btw. I don't have a "deficit of attention", my attention has a dodgy steering wheel.

[@ninatrabona4629]

Dis -abled also seems to imply not being able to do much of anything. If I say I am un -able people might ask me " unable to do what, exactly ?"

[@azurekutella3812]

Should rename it to Executive Function Disorder.

[@FirstnameLastnames]

*sense

[@pixelzebra8440]

I broke my ankle and experienced ableism with people making fun of me and treating me differently just because of my broken ankle. It really made me see the world from a new perspective

[@MrJCerqueira]

A temporary situation helped you empathize with others? Kinda dope, comrade

[@fuzonzord9301]

How does it feel to realise how many people are evil?

[@GaelissFelin]

it really is wild how needing a cast or a mobility device can drastically alter how people treat you. the stares are unbelievable.

[@dragletsofmakara1120]

My friend broke her ankle and wore a cast. She went out clubbing with friends. The next night she went out again. The bouncer stopped her. He said, “Now I know you’re just faking it for attention. You were in here yesterday with that cast.” I saw her the next day shaken and in tears. And quite shockingly-STILL IN A CAST!

[@FirstnameLastnames]

Only place I was judged was *in a church by a grown man who thought it would be fun to mock teenage me in front of his adult, church-going peers* 🙃 yes he did this while my mother was right there helping me walk in. We were only there for a wedding. Reason # 105,637,283 I'm an atheist.

[@michele219]

I wonder if some of the ableist issues with disability is the “are they temporary” like the sports injury, or “are they permanent”? Compassion fatigue might play a role in why hidden disabilities can be seen negatively.

[@FirstnameLastnames]

Mm..that and people's general lack of empathy for anything that does not directly affect *MEEEEEEEEE* (them) 😒

[@Equippedwithpans]

I have a severe light sensitivity. I basically have too many cones in my eyes. So that means that I get really disoriented in places with bright flashing lights, and I never quite realized the ‘disabling’ part of it. Till I went to a carnival and arcade with my friends. Got extremely disoriented and sick, and they understood. They tried to help, and then when it got too much for me. We left. I never felt someone take so much consideration for my light sensitivity before. For anyone to try and accommodate for me. It was welcoming, and enlightening, to finally be able to feel that.

[@HeatherLorali]

As someone who has been struggling with a near life long unspecified auto-immune disorder (since I was 15), this was an incredibly important reminder to me that my struggles are real and not just "in my head." I've never had the words to articulate to others why I can't "just do" the things that I'm struggling with on days when I have flare ups, especially as an autistic person who has issues with recognizing and expressing my feelings in general. After pushing myself for years to do a job that caused me constant pain and anxiety, I've finally started seeking new work that is better able to accommodate me, and I'm still not quite sure about the appropriate way to bring up my limitations with a potential employer, especially in today's job market where finding a job at all is so difficult. I'd be interested in seeing a video about this if you have any suggestions, or just a response in the comments from anyone who has experience with this.

[@rosevan7845]

I understand the difficulty and I had found ways to work around some issues when I was the responsible wage earner. The job market and corporate brown nosing were the two things I felt were the most damaging to my health and time has proven I was right. Things will have to change, soon there will no longer be undamaged individuals that are easily replaced. It is a horrid future to put on anyone and it is unimaginable to me that there are not ideas to implement a more human ways to meet human needs. Any suggestions would also be welcome to me. I think that the benifits of mono-culture, mono-godhead and hierarchy in social organization have passed their sellby date and each of us will find our own way to navigate the universe, alone or collectively. Things that worked for me may not even be possible any more. Small changes and habits that once gave me a strap up now are so over used they snap or are just not there by the time I get there again. Quitting a job that makes things worse may come with challenges, but challenges can be solved, getting damaged for someone elses gain will not solve anything. You have my support for walking out on anxiety and pain. Humanity exists but it is next to impossible to find it in corporate cultures so don't waste your time or energy. Getting good advice on a pay-ad=generated media is hit or miss. I have confidence that you are heading in a better direction. Even though it might not feel so now, life does have a strange way of looking better when you look back. Driving in reverse is a skill worth developing as this world is a55 backwards!!

[@kerikah]

Society likes to think of disability like an isolated box, but it's more like a spectrum, contiguous from absolute averageness/"normalcy".

[@HoneyButter_Biscuit]

Thanks for this. I'm tired of the toxic positivity that has been going around for a while now. It feels like a protion of people see having a disability or being called disabled is bad. I mean, it can be very inconvenient at times, but it's the first step to getting help. If my dyslexia was never addressed as the disability it was, I wouldn't have gotten help. Unfortunately, my autism wasn't diagnosed until a few months ago. But I don't blame my mom for not seeing the signs, mostly because I suspect she is too (we behave a lot alike). I definitely argue that being short is a disability. It's very annoying.

[@ninatrabona4629]

Short is a relative term. In countries where nearly all the people are short it is not a problem.

[@TheSapphireLeo]

But what is the point if you know colonizers and/or their false, inverted and /or warped teachings infest every institute, and see no point in them, other than otherwise part of a far more insidious colonial nuisance of all things?

[@HoneyButter_Biscuit]

@ninatrabona4629 I mean short in comparison to the average population of that country. For example, being unable to reach what most people can. My mom often has to get others to get something down from a shelve for her or my grandmother being unable to close the back of her van if she parks at the wrong spot like the tinyest of hills.

[@sisterthesister4870]

As someone who has a more visible disability (got my own wheelchair and everything ;-)) I HATE it when people try to say I'm not disabled by saying things like "no you're differently abled". I know they mean well, so I won't show that too much but rather explain. When people say things like "I don't even see your wheelchair", I get a little afraid that they might plan a group activity that leaves me out. Because I DO need certain accommodations to be able to participate. The wheelchair itself isn't my disability, it alleviates it. But I do still need an elevator, ramps etc. to be able to get to most destinations. When those things are present, needing a wheelchair isn't much of a disability. But not being able to propel very far, or not being able to reach above chest level? Yeah, that's something that bothers me a Whole Lot. I went through a phase where my disability wasn't as visible. I struggled to walk far, but I was able to when I had to. And when sitting down, no one would know. That weird feeling of guilt of not feeling you're 'disabled enough' to ask for certain accommodations or to give in to my limited energy and pain almost makes the more severe limitations I have now easier to deal with. I also can do a lot of things with my wheelchair that I wouldn't have been able to do when I was still in that limbo and didn't have a wheelchair. So I always feel a lot of compassion for people struggling with invisible disabilities. I know it's hard, but I also know that almost all of the time, asking for that accommodation is worth it. If you're struggling to do certain activities right now, please be kind to yourself and ask for help to figure out which accommodation would help to make your life easier (or just more pleasant!)

[@FirstnameLastnames]

I am so sorry you have to deal with well meaning idiots who try to tell you how to feel about your own life's circumstance.🫣

[@ariennespickard6357]

I appreciate hearing your perspective on the "differently abled" thing as my son was diagnosed with ASD and I've become really sensitive to the notions of "special needs" or "differently abled", but as it's not my diagnoses, it's hard to know whether my concerns are respecting his experience and not just my perception of it.

[@sisterthesister4870]

@@ariennespickard6357 I can imagine that sensitivity. And while I personally really dislike the term 'differently abled', some people of course will like the term. For me though: disabled' is not a dirty word, so I don't think we should treat it like it is. I've always had the feeling that terms like 'special needs' etc. come from not wanting to use the word 'disabled'. And that might be a valid wish in some contexts, but especially when it comes to needing accommodations or adaptations, I think it makes sense to just be clear in our language.

[@ariennespickard6357]

@@sisterthesister4870 I think an especially bothersome thing is that "special needs" seems to ubiquitously refer to those with neurological or psychological impairments. Steven Hawking couldn't move any part of his body or speak on his own by the end, so I would say he had very special needs, but because he was regarded with such respect for his intellectual abilities, nobody would (in seriousness) dare call him "special". However, imagine any otherwise average person who had his condition and consider how they would be treated. Kind of like what this Content Creator is saying, if a person who is disabled doesn't *prove* that they're simply "differently abled", they lose all value. Ideally though, society would appreciate those limitations to catapult the individuals into near superhuman capacities, since typical abilities are all already spoken for.

[@resourceress7]

So we'll said. 100%! I love how you break things down so logically to help everyone understand, and you're inclusive of both disabled people and non-disabled people! I've been to all your videos recently and I really liked the one where you talked about different terminology that means "autistic meltdown"? Autistic and disabled are definitely not dirty words, but even though many autistics right now use the term "meltdown" (and don't necessarily mean it as a matter of judgmental thing, but it can probably carry that connotation for some people) it was refreshing to hear you as an autistic person propose another way to look at it. Thanks for all the work you put into your videos. So valuable!

[@stef987]

I have social anxiety and I hate to think of myself as 'disabled' (even though in my language we don't even officially use that word), because this mindset can lead to me avoiding things that are actually important for me to get better. Even worse, it can lead to others encouraging me to avoid things which then leads to my anxiety getting worse instead of better. For example "wouldn't it be a great thing for you to just order food/ingredients so you don't need to go shopping yourself anymore?". Um, no, that absolutely wouldn't be great, it would be horrible, because I need to go outside and have (kind of) a life, otherwise I might as well die right now. But yes, acknowleding you aren't as 'able' as other people when it comes to certain things and then work on it to get better, I agree with that, of course.

[@shakeyj4523]

That's ableism though. You can discriminate against yourself as well as others. You are assuming the word makes your disability worse than without the word, and that's kind of silly.

[@stef987]

@@shakeyj4523 no, it's about people (and potentially myself, as well) assuming I am not able to do the things I am in fact able to do, because that's what the word means to them. That is what I'd call actual ableism. When they exclude you and try keeping you from actually living your life, maybe without even realizing it. If that's hard to imagine with mental illness, maybe try to picture someone starting to push a wheelchair without the consent of the person sitting in it, because the person in the wheelchair isn't thought of as an autonomous human being. But it's really nice to have a stranger on the internet tell me what is right and healthy for me and what's not, contrary to my very own personal experiences with my disorder. Thank you.🙂

[@stef987]

​@@N0p3er5 I think ableism is a thing, like pushing a wheelchair like in my example in the previous comment would be ableism. I just hate what some people consider to be ableism and how it seems to get weaponized sometimes to try to force certain opinions on others...

[@saratoga6663]

@@stef987 maybe try to think of a solution that works like crutches or a cane, rather than giving up on walking and never going anywhere use support to continue doing what you want/need. I don't know what this would look like for you but may I suggest taking a friend or someone you trust with you to the shops?

[@stef987]

@@saratoga6663 Thanks. I fought my way out of isolation over the last couple of years, however, I'm not free from anxiety and possible depression, yet. Taking someone with me for example to shops is an issue for me, unfortunately, because I experienced family members in such situations either looking and acting embarrassed, or taking over, resulting in me just standing in the background silently. So it feels best for me to do these things alone. But I don't have major problems doing my shopping and other things, anymore. I also even managed to contact therapists and go to therapy (which in my country is basically free, apart from what I pay for health insurance each month, which is still a lot for me, but manageable). This was a huge step for me, as fear of the mental health field was a thing for me, too (though at the same time I always wanted to go to therapy). Sadly, this therapy didn't work out as great for me as I've expected, but I plan to try another one in the (hopefully) near future. Last year I didn't see a single doctor, though and I'm a bit afraid I might have relapsed a bit in that aspect. The thing is, you always have to keep going. I might have been a bit naive thinking if I start working on things, it all will get better gradually almost automatically and I will never face any problems anymore, making appointments, doing things that are important. Instead it still is kind of a challenge - even though it's not as bad as it used to be years ago, now I at least know that I am able to do these kinds of things. Knowing this makes it easier. Knowing that I am in fact 'able'. I'm not claiming I am not 'challenged' or 'handicapped', because I am (btw. in my native language, our word for 'disabled' actually literally translates to 'being hindered'. Interestingly, our word, too, faces criticism for being politically incorrect and people rather use the English word 'handicapped' nowadays. Plus, the word has some kind of negative connotation to it and I even heard it being used as an insult). But yeah, support can be great and important, as long as you don't feel your freedom being taken from you (but living in isolation doesn't really come with a great feeling of freedom, either). And as long as freedom and autonomy/self-determination are always the goal.

[@n.m.dimmick194]

I need to hear this. I get so caught up in not having it as bad as others and feeling like I'm taking away resources that I struggle to take my own disabilities seriously, and forget that fighting for accommodations is something that can help us all.

[@awfuldynne]

Use of a service often determines funding, so you shouldn't worry about taking a slot from someone else-it might be just the opposite!

[@RavenIsAnArtist]

I am physically disabled, and I can't get a job because everywhere in my town is a job that require you to be able to move around for extended periods of time. Not only that but I can't drive because I can't feel my legs and I fear not being able to control the pressure with my foot (as well as putting way too much suddenly since I get spasms), or getting my foot stuck. But most if not all days, PTSD is a whole lot more limiting and debilitated. There are times I am recovering from panic attacks and keeping my eyes open takes so much energy that I get nauseous and disoriented, as well as having a massive headache. I will lay there in bed for so long, with my eyes closed listening to something or quietly talking on the phone because talking too loud makes me feel disoriented and using my arms to text is too much energy, and is difficult to do. This is one example of how mental health is very much a disability.

[@ghostratsarah]

I think of it like the disable feature on phones, you can disable individual apps and functions, most of them will not cripple the phone beyond usability

[@AndreaCrisp]

I didn’t even finish watching! I had to come comment. The athlete with an injury analogy is so spot on!! This is why so many people who are neurodivergent have trauma on top of their disability, because we’ve been expected to be like everyone else with little understanding or accommodation. And then shamed when we try to figure out what’s going on or try to advocate for ourselves and get accommodations. I’m saying this as a 48 year old who only got an ADHD-I diagnosis 2 years ago and now suspect that I may be on the spectrum as well. So much of my life makes sense now that I know about my neurodivergence. Thank you for these videos. So helpful!

[@nikitatavernitilitvynova]

My definition of disability is: "An issue that impacts someone's life negatively for a significant amount of time, that needs external tools to be improved". I need glasses. It is a disability because I need a tool to correct my vision or else I can't see or read. It's been that way since I was four. I have adhd. The struggles impact my life negatively for example with keeping up with tasks and I need external help to overcome the issue. Same with autism. A headache won't be a part of this because it doesn't necessarily need medications or a tool to go away. It can make it go away faster to take a pill. Also it doesn't impact the person for a long time either. I see my definition fit more for long term disabilities. Full knowing short terms disabilities are a thing too. Like someone breaking their leg or arm. That's also totally valid.

[@grummelameise]

I don't know whats up with other autistic people, but the feeling I had all my life was twofold: being a fuckup because i couldn't discipline me enough for hacking the simplest stuff (getting a driving licence was pure hell for me), and everybody except me was in this secret avantguarde club, and i wasn't invited, and i couldn't understand the rules. if I thought i had understood the rules, it turned out that i just mimicked other people, instead of rellay understanding the rules.

[@Drawoon]

That makes a lot of sense. I figured disability was just for the physical things, and the mental ones would have a different name. Neurodivergence or something. But honestly, that term alone doesn't capture how disabling my conditions are.

[@miclovesart]

It would make sense for people to call physical things “disabilities” and mental things “neurodivergence” if everything was either strictly mental or strictly physical, but a lot of things are in between, like neurological conditions including epilepsy, FND, PANS/PANDAS, and Tourette Syndrome. These are all “brain disorders” that some would say are mental, and they can cause mental symptoms like brain fog, seizure auras, and mental tics, but they all cause physical problems as well, like temporary paralysis, seizures, dystonia, passing out, and motor/vocal tics.

[@Drawoon]

@@miclovesart Right of course, that also makes sense.

[@Sad_bumper_sticker.]

There is also a temporal factor, I was born autistic with psychiatric level social anxiety and developed OCD in my 20s, but I only became disabled as in umable to function, despite therapy and copious effort, in my 40s to the extent that I received the mid level disability category

[@gramplolo7530]

I don't really have difficulty acknowledging that I have disabilities, but whenever I have mentioned it to others, because I'm young and look healthy, I'm immediately met with invalidation and denial. All my issues that affect my life, are never "enough", I'm not autistic "enough", not anxious "enough", I'm too young to be tired, I'm having issues but it's not serious "enough" to see a doctor, I'm just lazy, I just need sunshine and to get off my phone- it's exhausting and makes me feel horrible because maybe they're right, maybe I'm just lazy and spoiled, maybe I'm just trying to find an excuse, but really, there's nothing I'd rather be than normal and healthy. Also it's so much work trying to get doctors to actually test you for things, trying to get referrals, avoiding it because it's expensive and it always ends up not helping anyway because they don't see anything wrong, ect. Anyway it made me happy that you included seasonal allergies. My allergies affect my daily life, when it's bad I get migraines, and most days allergies make me very sleepy (like the drugged feeling when you take cold/allergy meds)(and it's year round for me, but worse with allergy season). I've been to the allergist, paid a ton out of pocket (insurance doesn't cover it), got the shots, and... no difference:(

[@PsychicAlchemy]

I have Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, very weak connective tissue. I can do daily stuff pretty easily for the most part, and I'm even a very skilled martial artist. But I get worn out very easily as my muscles work overtime to hold everything in place. Even just standing for like... 10 minutes starts to get tiring, even back when I was in better shape.

[@eugenetswong]

For some reason KZbin recommended this. Thank you for speaking out on this! I feel heard. The word is not bad!

[@PanRiddle1]

I like that you 1. have subtitles, 2. make parentheses with your hands and 3. that you validate the everyday struggles that so many of us live. Thank you

[@Lycantis]

I started being me, as an autistic, and it is so much less dibilitating than pretending to be an allistic. Ableism is injurious and traumatic. It allows jobs to get rid of those of us who aren't capable of pretending to be mindless drones. This is also shown in schools, where bullies are ignored, and the victim is punished for retaliating or defending themselves. This leads to obvious consequences, and they blame the victim for taking a drastic measure against their tormentor. It's quite sickening, to be frank. I can't get a typical job because I not only have autism, but I have Ehlers-Danlos, a collagen deficiency, and porphyria, a severe and often violent intolerance to bright light (sunlight can kill me if I am in it too long, and short-term exposure causes thus far the most I've had at 15 weeks of suffering the dermal and neurological manifestations of "hereditary coproporphyria", specifically). Jobs do not care if you are severely "allergic" to light. They will not accomodate you. They don't care. You're scary wearing the sunproof suit and need to adjust your intolerance so you can please the ableists. That is how they think. "Why don't you accomodate yourself and just pretend you don't have it until you're off your shift?" ....Because, I will be dead at that point. This suit is my accomodation. You are afraid of it for some jacked-up reason. This mentality is like asking someone with a peanut allergy to ignore their allergy until they leave the peanut factory. Except those people get the best accomodations and are often presented work where peanuts are not allowed on the premisis, and they get epi-pens. Porphyrics get nothing. We get scolded for hiding from light. Finally getting on disability was great, because I got accomodations for my autism (they don't consider being fatally intolerant of light to be a disability??? And chronically dislocated joints is not a big deal??), but then I have to deal with the toxic people who hate anyone who needs accomodations. Having some a-hole say, "You're welcome." for me getting disability assistance? That is overly narcissistic of them and is extremely damaging. It's as if they are proud of themselves for causing my dependence on assistance. I actually did chastize some guy who said that, and demanded he apologize for causing my disability because I never wanted to be disabled in the first place, and saying "You're welcome" automatically plants them as the cause of said disability because I have no reason to thank them for needing assistance. It's Hell.

[@ShintogaDeathAngel]

People can be so vile. I also don’t have a clue why they don’t see a fatal intolerance to sunlight and dislocated joints as disabling. That’s truly bizarre.

[@Lycantis]

@@ShintogaDeathAngelIt really is. And aggravating, because it's like they cannot fathom why I can't just pretend to be normal. I've even been told to run through the light as fast as I can so it doesn't hit me...because I can run faster than light, in their delusional mind? And I have been told to just go in sunlight a little at a time until I get used to it. Going in light is what causes it to get worse. Like you said, totally bizarre that they cannot even comprehend a disability unless it's a wheelchair.

[@sierraansley]

Thank you for this. I have multiple disabilities and don't appreciate the toxic positivity of disability denialism. Another point is about invisible disabilities or atypical presentations. I wear glasses but in my case my glasses don't correct my vision to anywhere near 20/20, but pretty much everyone assumes that if you wear glasses they correct your vision so you can see fine with them on. This assumption causes me so much grief and causes all sorts of very awkward situations. Another very poorly understood one that I have is PTSD- people generally think they know what it is because they've heard of it, but they usually don't know much about it so asking for accommodations can just make things worse.

[@CybernerdShua]

This! Finally this! I had to overcome the assumption that by claiming that I, someone with a minor knee issue and severe ADHD, was disabled was making a mockery of those with greater needs than mine. In reality, it was doing the opposite. By claiming that _I_ have a disability, I was normalizing disability. By claiming I wasn't disabled, I was only making it harder for others to understand that I (and those like me) need accommodations.

[@TheSorrowfulAngel]

Accomodating for severe needs does require more resources, though. Well, I think we have those resources and just need to utilize them properly... Although, lets say I would not believe that we'd have a bit of a problem then, no? And I think many do not believe that. They believe that, by giving more resources to the ones who need more, they have less and they dont think that is fair. I find it difficult to answer their worries without persuading them.

[@Suzanne4415]

I mean, the more-altruistic answer is obvious, but if someone is too selfish to agree, the less-altruistic answer is that they too can become any type of disabled at any time and need all those accommodations and rights they think are costly. Only the very very rich can afford to be 100% selfish on this without risking their own detriment.

[@TheSorrowfulAngel]

@@Suzanne4415The rich can afford to be selfish, yet the poor cannot afford to be anything but selfish, as they do not have the required financial means. On the same note, planning for eventualities is also a rather rich privilege.

[@Suzanne4415]

@@TheSorrowfulAngel I don't know about that, you def have a point, it kinda gets into in what sense they're poor and in what sense they feel "we" don't have the resources. If you're truly very poor, slightly higher taxes are not usually gonna be your big problem, every country I can think of has progressive taxation to at least some degree. But yeah, you might point to the public services you need, and how they're underfunded, and argue that the ones you don't (currently) need are the ones that should be cut. In my experience poorer people tend to be more supportive of at least expanded services for people w/ disabilities, I think from being more aware of their own vulnerability and just knowing what it means to face possible total destitution. But my experience is def not huge & generalizing very much.

[@TheSorrowfulAngel]

@@Suzanne4415 Mhm, I think you understand my point pretty well. There is a simple truth to take away from that, too: If people are better off financially by default, they become "better" people. If people do not have to worry about something as basic and frustrating as finances, a lot of stuff would just "fix" itself.

[@vokkera6995]

It took me so long to get over the guilt of claiming veterans disability when I separated from the military. The big things are lower back and shoulder pain, but how bad it affects me varies somewhat from day to day. Sometimes it’s just pain in my back when lifting heavy objects, other times I literally can’t get out of a chair without help. But because most of the time I can live a normal life (even if it means I’m in some measure of pain), it made me feel like such a freeloader and a leech on society. It feels good to have this recognized.

[@ShopiStar]

There's this video on tiktok of a guy who is missing a leg, but can walk and drive with his prosthetic leg just fine so people tell him he's "not disabled enough" 😕

[@kaltziferYT]

Disability is when you're not able to do something, that human is able to do by default.

[@Sugar3Glider]

Do you know anyone who has talked about lack of accommodations of needs, and the strain that puts on potential parents, which has led to increased desire for eugenic advancements in detection of birth defects?

[@Lightning_Muse]

I have ADHD, and still expect myself to just suddenly be like everybody else. It's like I identified the problem, but instead of acknowledging I need accomodations, I feel even more lazy because I cant fix myself. Thank you for this video. And for all those that still function and get good grades even with ADHD, we exist. We still struggle. Dont dismiss your struggles.

[@falthramheraldofcalamity3051]

“Disability” not “inability”

[@CAMSLAYER13]

Those mean the same thing just with different roots

[@demihau]

anyway in my country people with disorders are being tortured, not healed. and i can’t get a dyagnosis, though i can’t work and communicate, because i don’t want to be tortured by our medicine.

[@ArchSchizo]

In my country, the disabled are often gaslighted into worsening their own condition, by people trying to look good for "supporting" them. Now that I think about it, so are the poor. Less extreme, but the closed-mindedness stings personally when it comes from the ones always yelling about having an open-mind, welcoming to everyone. Its all political, tied up with every existing issue in an unworkable mess. Strange times when my nation's conservatives are more welcome to outcasts than the progressives. Even this video, watering down the severity of disabilities by equating it to any impairment. Some people CAN'T walk, or talk, or hear, or see. Some people have a truly debilitating condition with their mental focus, and some people are just trendy, or want pills. It hurts everyone long-term. Autism can't even be taken seriously with some people having ZERO symptoms outside the most minor quirks. I hate progressives. By their definition, opposition is regressive and regression is bad. Never lose hope, brother. Despair is our eternal enemy, and we must do everything to deal with it. Your health is your primary priority. I'm not telling you to be happy, or even comfortable, I'm telling you to channel that nerve and control your fate. Even anger can do more good than sadness. If you can't lift weights, write papers. Writing is a mental form of exercise.

[@danielallan8061]

Yeah, we are disabled. As much as I wouldn't want to change if a cure was available, I'd never wish this on any kids I might have in the future. It's like living in my own personal hell.

[@MohawkPigeon]

When the definition for a word becomes so broad that it applies to everyone it applies to no one.

[@emrysss]

i’ve felt this way about being t1d for YEARS. i was diagnosed when i was seven, and don’t really remember living my life without the accommodations of carrying things like a glucometer, insulin, sugar, and eventually wearing a pump and cgm. even though i was self conscious about those things as a kid, i only started to realize that i *am* disabled and fight my own internalized ableism when i was in high school - which was also when my issues with executive dysfunction kicked into high gear and i was finally diagnosed with autism and adhd. these days i logically know that i’m disabled, but i still sometimes struggle with the feeling that i’m not disabled *enough*, even though i literally require medication and close management in order to Continue Being Alive. hearing it from someone else is really helpful, though, so. thanks. your videos are really good.

[@mr.duck1248]

What I find is crazy is that in school people with learning disabilities are given all kinds of accommodations, but then once they enter the work force, they’re expected to be perfect. A friend of mine is quitting their job as a lower level mechanic because they aren’t fast enough at the job, but they’ve struggled in school their whole life, so I think it’s unfair that they’re suddenly expected to do the job at top notch efficiency without ever making mistakes.

[@darkyoumemento5307]

THE WHEEL OF TIME SERIES ROCKS!

[@hemlocktea6643]

I can barely walk and I'm still working. I'll be at work tomorrow. I was offered disability and refused it. Thankfully I'm a janitor. Cancer gave me the option to take disability but i wouldn't be given enough to get a studio apartment. So to live an actual human life I must refuse it and work anyway. Because it's the only way to get enough money

[@hedge931]

It seems like defining a threshold would only serve to give people an excuse to stop caring at a certain point they found convenient.

[@lordknightalex]

i often get stuck in the mindset of "well sure i have narcolepsy and before i got medicated i was almost unable to graduate, but now im fine! no disability here!" even though i kind of depend on that medicine, which doesnt fully get rid of symptoms and i still have a weird sleep-cycle......

[@Maerahn]

I felt this in my soul. I've been gradually losing my hearing since I was a child, due to a hereditary condition on my father's side of the family (he's also very deaf now, and so was his father.) Back then there were no digital hearing aids, so the audiologist told my parents not to get me hearing aids until my hearing was so bad I literally couldn't function without them, because the old-style analogue ones would actually damage my hearing further over time (they'd make EVERYTHING louder, not just the frequencies I couldn't hear.) I learned to lip-read pretty much accidentally, without even realising I'd done so, until one day when I was staring through the window of a tv shop and it hit me that I could understand a lot of what the people on the tv screens were saying even with no sound. And so that was how I got by, even as my hearing continued to deteriorate throughout my teens and adulthood. I knew my hearing wasn't as good as other people's, but I never thought the word 'disabled' applied to me. Sure, I couldn't do jobs that required telephone work (found that out by getting fired from a couple of them,) but in the times when I was unemployed and had to report to a jobseeker clerk to claim benefits I didn't feel as if I had the 'right' to say I couldn't take certain types of jobs because of an actual DISABILITY... It wasn't until I was 48 years old that I finally got hearing aids - digital ones! - and they changed my life. They haven't 'cured' my hearing loss - even with them in, I still struggle to understand people I can't lip-read (i.e. if they're wearing facemasks, have thick facial hair or talk without moving their mouths much) but they make my life easier. And yet, when I found out that I qualify for a Disabled Railcard now, I still felt guilty claiming it - as if I was scamming the system somehow.

[@pathevermore3683]

i feel you on the telephone work. i am not deaf (musician too) but i stutter pretty bad so i stayed away from telephone work. ironically i was really good at retail sales.

[@urmommabear5monthsago]

Dude you are going to have so many people applying for disability benefits and boy are they going to be disappointed.

[@beardiemom]

I'm in my late 20s and found out I have severe ADHD after I completed my Bachelor's thesis and might have ASD as well, the diagnostic appointment for which is later this year. I am still working to unpack my internalized ableism and have to constantly remind myself that my executive dysfunction wasn't and isn't lazyness. I have since become a lot more attentive to accomodations for people with more severe disabilities and they absolutely suck. Take the textured concrete tiles that are meant to help blind people out and about to orient themselves: Those are often oriented the wrong way and could direct a blind person straight into the middle of an intersection.

[@llareia]

This is why I always liked the term "handicapped" better than "disabled" (the meaning is more intuitive), but as I recall, a couple decades ago the term "handicapped" got axed because people thought it was derogatory.

[@emrysss]

you should use it for yourself then! it’s an incredibly varied experience, and if you identify with it, then more power to you. (i mean, you should probably ask before using it to talk about other people, but i digress.) in my opinion, it’s a lot like the whole “transgender vs transsexual” thing. not every term fits every person, and that’s perfectly fine.

[@randykittelson2456]

I use a variant of this discussion to help people going on medication for the first time to begin to shed the shame they sometimes feel. Accommodation is not a burden it is a responsibility. Glad to see videos like this.

[@wouldntyouliketoknowwesath7789]

I cant sweat. I have no sweat glands, and its so awkward to have people say "oh youre so lucky" or "wait seriously?" Or give me a funny look. I got a genetic deformation that affects nany parts of me. Yet i still cant tell if it classifies me for the Americans with Disabilities Act. It lists more broad things, and ive met people who say im "not really disabled." But theyre not the ones who nearly having a heatstroke on a hike while everyone is having a pleasant time :/

[@tobyameson3159]

I didn't know how much I needed this today. Thank you. I literally cried. I have been struggling with disability grief for a couple of years and the process of dismantling my own internalized ableism had given me so much peace and safety. I went from accidentally injuring myself six or seven times a year and getting sick constantly from pushing too hard and refusing to accommodate my needs to being safer, happier, and in dramatically less pain because I accept my human needs now. I haven't had a major injury in over a year now and it's an accomplishment I'm proud of. Thank you for this content, it is absolute gold. I hope those who need it hear it.

[@VeeJayASMR]

So many health providers have reacted shocked when I told them that in some situations I felt really disabled (I have autism). I had to convince them 'disabled' is not a dirty word.

[@Millville_Maker]

on Behalf of All those who have some type of disability Thankyou for sharing this video

[@her7emeralds]

"There not special needs they're human needs" makes me feel like an actual person i might cry

[@AliciaGuitar]

In my 20s my disabilities were invisible, but i struggled much more because of other's expectations on me. Now i am visibly disabled and now expectations are TOO low 🤦‍♀️ but at least i dont have to struggle as much

[@rowanlavellan9755]

"Activities of Daily Living" has been a concept I've had to explain to people a LOT over the past decade. It's a flawed standard, but it's still alarming how very many people who are denied for benefits still struggle to complete ADLs. I've never applied for benefits but struggle to take care of myself; I'm too terrified of having my rights stripped due to court ordained "incompetence", so I just...keep trying to make my own accommodations. Spite and hardheadedness have gotten me this far. 😅

[@blusafe1]

-Disability is universal, everyone has different flavors and degrees of impairment -Disability can be conceptualized as injuries -We (society) should provide accommodations and access as universal rights, not as a specialized niche privileges -Dismantling internalized ableist thoughts is the first step to helping ourselves, and ultimately helping everyone else -Assuming disability instead of exploiting privilege is a positive step

[@Hekinsieden]

I've been getting debilitating migraines since I was 13, (35 now) and I have been not only struggling with my disability but the ways I am treated by others and employers because of my condition and all I can ever do is suck it up or suffer immensely and no one cares nor will they ever.

[@kg6801]

Yes, people think it has to be a continual state of total debilitation, and also can't accept that all it might take is something as little and random as a particular flash of light or brand of deodorant that a staff member wears to set one off, and that it's not necessarily anywhere near as simple as just throwing medications at it and it's all fixed

[@hanaholmgren]

I think the hardest part is the gaslighting. I’m autistic, which is one level of constant ableism (i.e. “you don’t look autistic” or “but you have friends/a career/education”) but I also consequently suffer from a lot of anxiety and stress due to high masking for years on end. This caused a lot of physical pain for me, and I was in physical therapy for a few months in 2023 for back pain. I got VERY frequent comments from people when I mentioned PT that I was “young and healthy” and couldn’t possibly be suffering from terrible back pain. I was in so much pain constantly. It was really affecting my quality of life. And physical therapy worked wonders for me, but I had to deal with the constant ableism, too, and that was very difficult. Just because I don’t LOOK disabled (whatever tf that means) doesn’t mean I am not disabled

[@Sugar3Glider]

This was me when I was applying for jobs. I really hope the job knows this >.>

[@AutisticlyRose]

That was a great way to think about disability, I'm going to save this so I can reference it in the future and as a reminder as I'm still working to accept my own disability.

[@lovelasnow]

Funny thing I got good grades but could barely function otherwise, didn’t notice until I stopped school and pretty much stopped functioning

[@shadylampable]

People use words in a way that serve the most obvious practical differences. The biggest one being whether you can accommodate yourself, or whether you need other peoples help to function in statistically normal ways. Normal/unusual are incredibly functional concepts that insert themselves into any set of definitions anybody tries to create, and will continue to do so. From this perspective it's very clear why medically needing glasses is a disability, because it's the doctors job to help you get glasses. And from a common language perspective it is not a disability, because most people don't need to do anything about your eyesight. Something will be seen as a disability the second the person making the distinction is called upon to disrupt their habits, and playing with definitions will never stop this. It also explains why you want to use disabled to describe yourself, if you have to do extra work because of a condition, you are disabled from your own perspective. For many very serious conditions, the accommodation is that somebody else does it for them, so in the eyes of society there will always be one group who can, and one group who cannot carry our normal task unassisted.

[@duskonparis]

Remember, disability is not inability.

[@codaboi138]

Im hoping as awareness of mental health increases we develop the propper vocabulary to deliniate between the degrees of disability and nauture of disability a person might deal with. Mental health is a super complex topic and it's easy to misunderstand these terms. Description is also vital since mental health is all internal. You can see how someone with a broken leg cant walk but you might not understand that someone with anxiety cant regulate their emotions properly like a healthy mind can.

[@user-im2pc1ce3o]

It's so hard for me to accept, that right now I am disabled and I was disabled for some time, maybe even my whole life. I don't use this word to describe myself ever - I am actively avoiding things that will confront my inability to be "normal", despite it ruining my career, just to not explain that i CANNOT do what I am supposed to. I think because there are no physical signs (sometimes there are, but they are often psychosomatic), and therefore no visible explanation that it is hard to prove to anybody, even yourself, that you are not actually just lazy.

[@097jupiter]

i’m still unlearning my internalized ableism (i have adhd) and one thing that really sticks out to me (and is WILDLY irritating) is that the people that give pushback to me being disabled are people who are… not disabled or people who aren’t disabled like me. i will never understand how a neurotypical person can tell me if i am disabled or not as if it’s up to them?????? like why do those people have so much to say about me when you don’t even go through what i go through??

[@Kobolds_in_a_trenchcoat]

Thank you for this. I am autistic and have had severe vision loss, near to the point of total blindness. I have since had pretty major recovery in my vision. I am about 20/30 or 20/40 in either eye with corrective lenses and am employed and living semi-independently (I am on my mom's property in a decently large manufactured home that's fairly new. My mom and step-dad built a house on the property that they moved into). I honestly feel mostly alright about those parts of my life and feel much more disabled by a different aspect. I do not drive and live in an area with no public transportation. I believe legally I could drive with my vision where it currently is but I do not feel safe to do so. My vision loss was caused by nerve issues and I do not have the most stable vision at the best of times right now, but, if I am being honest, it could just be an extreme lack of confidence in myself. Either way, that is what I find most disabling in my life, especially since my old city was part of a large paratransit network with 12 other cities that covered a pretty generous area. That paratransit network was created by the ADA and, in my mind, amounts to an acknowledgement that car dependent city planning turns an inability to drive into a legal disability. I've seen what a pretty effective accommodation for an inability to drive and I am often mad that I, and others in my area, do not have access to this accommodation. Frankly, it's more others not having it that bothers me. I have family that is willing to take me grocery shopping and to do other basic things but without a shadow of a doubt, if I didn't, grocery bills would be at least $100 more for each trip as would be almost all other basic needs. It would be at least borderline homelessness without someone I know personally lending a helping hand.

[@kurtcpi5670]

Obviously, depending on the context, virtually everyone has some disability in one way or another. Having an IQ of 70 or lower is a disability that severely limits a person's productivity and functionality in almost every situation because even jobs that require executing tasks in specific sequences, or making decisions requiring any kind of analysis at all are very difficult, even impossible. An injury requiring a prosthetic ankle is a disability that would affect a runner, but probably not an accountant, and there's probably no accommodation that would level the field for a runner with a prosthetic ankle. Learning disabilities require accommodation so that learning can be achieved using inputs other than those affected by the disability but, depending on the severity, can largely be overcome through accommodation. Being 5' 8" tall might be a disability for someone wanting to play college basketball, no matter how skilled they are. I think most of us recognize obvious disabilities like missing limbs and eyes, and are aware of inherent disabilities like spina bifida, cerebral palsy and other physical challenges. The issue, in most cases, is where it becomes a public responsibility to accommodate a disability. For instance, if someone has food allergies, is it the responsibility of everyone else in the office to limit food at the annual New Years party to those that won't cause allergic reactions in one person? Most would say no to that one. But how about insuring a ground floor apartment for someone requiring a wheelchair? That makes sense because in an emergency we're not supposed to use the elevator, and in a power outage it may not even work. So context is everything. Even though certain conditions may technically be classified as disabilities, not all of them require accommodation in every situation, and not all of them can be reasonably mitigated by means of any accommodation (a blind person can't be a forest fire spotter). It's one of those areas where common sense must prevail, while at the same time providing reasonable accommodation where it would effectively mitigate a situation.

[@heyna1185]

I would definitely say there are at least two ways of defining a disability. The pragmatic way of seeing it as any medical thing that limits people (allergies, near-sightedness) but personally, I can definitely say that there‘s a huge difference in how my ADHD impacts me and how my eye-sight impacts me. However, that‘s not because my ADHD is inherently more severe, it‘s because accommodations for my eye-sight are so easy to get whereas my ADHD went undiagnosed for most of my life, is very misunderstood and accommodations aren’t very accessible. If I didn‘t have glasses or contacts I would be severely physically disabled. So in a way, the severity of a disability is almost always at least to a degree dependent on how society handles that disability.

[@naturally_rob]

Imagine, companies in the Us actually acommodating instead of pushing you through the longest process of you reiterating over and over the same few setences because although the accmmodations would come at no cost and little extra effort from others, you get denied have to keep pushing with your doctor. Oh man, and you better hope you have a good doctor, which you likely need good health insurance for. So much with this. Enough of my monolouge here, I like your videos and the style in which you do them. For what I haven't read or disemminated myself, it's informative and for the stuff I have experience with, it's very nice to be seen and not alone.

[@Arkylie]

I always forget my eyesight when trying to consider if I'm disabled, even though it's fuzzy enough at distance that I barely squeaked by being able to read the letters for my license renewal. (I don't think it significantly impacts my driving except for reading street signs, which I don't typically navigate by anyway.) But I've also got the "am I really ADHD?" and "am I really Autistic?" and on top of that there's a phobia ("is this visceral reaction to most dogs regardless of how nonthreatening they are *really* a phobia?"), anxiety (no question there, definitely impacts my ability to do necessary things), and probably at least one I'm forgetting. Trying to deal with all of this at 45, especially when several family members are inclined to either not believe that I have the condition or think it's not worth bringing into the calculation ("I don't define myself by my colorblindness" from one family member always sounds like "you shouldn't define yourself by your Neurodivergent conditions" and makes me feel squashed), is just... difficult, to put it mildly. I mean it's clear that my behavior is being significantly impacted by my conditions, including them interfering with the act of seeking an official diagnosis, and it's clear that several of the conditions show evidence way back to my childhood (they're not new or "trendy" symptoms), and they explain a lot about why I've had such difficulty with social issues, communication issues, time-management issues, organizational issues, memory issues, etc. And yet I still get hit with Imposter Syndrome just by trying to assert my reality in a public space.

[@stevensines7026]

The simple fact of such designations is that it is a legal and financial distinction relating to who is going to pay, and who is going to receive. That's the only reason for the discussion.

[@zbnmth]

Incompatibility with a world revolving around modal brains, I feel differently abled. I am much better at some activities, like adjusting behaviour or admitting mistakes following logical arguments. Or many interests of mine. The modal brains are as much disabled as me, just in different areas of activity.

[@thebestmarcela]

It's your second I've watched and I loved this one as well. I like how you keep asking questions that I would be about to ask, and straight up answers it. So handy! You seem like a mind reader

[@sarahcloward3007]

Love this video. Every time I think I've accepted my disabilities I find a new level of internalized ableism rearing its head. It's a process that has been taking several years for me, but I've made a lot of progress as I learn more about the various conditions and limits I have. One SIGNIFICANT correction, though: Disability and SSI are two completely different programs with completely different qualifying requirements. SSI, or Supplemental Security Income, is a needs based welfare program and has nothing to do with health or disability. Your income and resources only. "Disability," which is actually SSDI, or Social Security Disability Insurance, is not welfare and also not guaranteed for disabled people. It's a government insurance program that you pay into with taxes from your employment. If you don't have enough employment history (ie haven't paid enough to the insurance program) you cannot qualify to receive from the program even with a confirmed medical disability.

[@GaelissFelin]

this was the push i needed to really sit down and think abt what some of my access needs and workplace accommodations might look like. thank you so much

[@kristenskousen1317]

This is why I really dislike the term "neurodivergent"

[@acetheenby1475]

Love that you have Wheel of Time on the bookshelf behind you.

[@feliciaamore1105]

Thank you. I needed to hear this. I've recently learned that uh... Well i don't wanna get into it... But accepting i am disabled has been... Rough. Especially since how I've lived my life up and to this point, wasnt just ignoring my issues but actively making them worse. And now at 30. I'm facing the consequences of my folly. I'm... It just sucks. I don't know what to do. Or how to accept this. I want to go back to lying to myself. And I'm trying very hard not to.

[@Vivi_Sterling]

So glad I found this and thank you for makeing it. I work as a project manager doing projects across a whole state on building maintained, remodels and corrections. I have started advocating for myself to specialize or focus on accessibility, and will be using this video to demonstrate the biases of the current system

[@J-sv9dp]

Thank you for your nuanced take on this. I think the definition is more than a little open to interpretation.

[@ollieq3150]

Thank you for your kindness & reframing. It's a positive, understanding, compassionate explanation of an often misunderstood reality of the human condition, without edging into the "toxic positivity" you mention in the video. You rock. Thank you, and cheers

[@TheCleverArachnid]

I once got into an argument online with someone who didn't think being disabled from cancer really counted as being disabled, even though after chemo I couldn't even leave the couch to go up to my bed for days. He said since it was temporary, it wasn't really considered disabled, because when most people say "disabled," they mean a permanent disability. Like, yeah, actually, I'll admit that most people I meet seem to think that, but that doesn't mean they're all right. Most people I run into think the brain stops developing at 25 even though that's based on one faulty study that stopped measuring people at age 25. When most people believe a wrong thing, that's actually a problem that needs addressing, not for us to throw up our hands and say, "Welp, guess that's that." You might ask why I was arguing with an asshole online at all. I was bored. I had cancer and I couldn't get up and do anything. I couldn't even crochet. Typing arguments with assholes online was the extent of my entertainment.

[@fuzonzord9301]

It's funny because governments tend to treat disability as temporary by default and require reassessments even when it's permanent.

[@getmetoine]

I think there should be a clear line between needs and wants. Humans in general often choose the path of least resistance, to challenge oneself is something that many try to avoid.

[@TB-jg2oq]

So we are really all disabled in a way so maybe we should just standardize asking everyone what accommodations are require for each person. Trick will be how to filter out desired extras that aren’t related to a disability vs real need. It would be great to get some mental health and other currently unrecognized areas to be allowed accommodations.

[@Tomartyr]

Just because you're not a 'problem' for other people doesn't mean you yourself don't have problems

[@mrrvo]

Very well written! Shows a lot of thought and care went into this, thank you.

[@jennifertharp659]

This is so incredibly helpful! Thank you for making it so clear to understand and asking all the questions I didn't know I wanted to ask, too!

[@emilyfarfadet9131]

God it drives me nuts how we collectively think about disability. I fall like just shy of having Chronic migraines frequently enough to qualify for government Disability, and my brain constantly feels bad for either: (A) Not being 100% fine and able to function all of the time or (B) Not being severe enough to be 'properly disabled' And it's all down to this stupid All or Nothing expectation that people push onto the fluctuating disfunction I have to live with.

[@billvojtech5686]

I had knee surgery. I was temporarily crippled.

[@Cyberzombie23]

A positive message AND you're a damn fine actor. You looked completely realistic as the inquirer. Very cool job.