NOISY NEIGHBORS: how to deal

[@AmandaGoldKickAssWithBothFeet]

If you need more help with this, find out how to work with me 1:1 and book a free call here! calendly.com/kickasswithbothfeet/consultation

[@hypnotechno]

still availabe>?

[@opiumdensRus]

Wow I can't believe how much I am relating to everything your saying right now. I have had worst neighbors, they finally got evicted, but now I got this idiot above me stomping around all day and dragging shit around! I'm getting pissed. I keep complaining via emails to property manager. Yet they keep quiting the job. I am an addict in early recovery too so everything is exemplified. You are so cool.

[@arquavian]

At the end of the day, you shouldn't have to accept any kind of disturbances in your home.

[@CrystalsThoughts]

It's just soooo hard to ignore the stomping and hard walking 😔

[@oxymoron296]

You are a better human than I because I'm fighting back against my disrespectful neighbors. It's been six long years and my patience has left the atmosphere.

[@lemarajeske8260]

I can so…oooo relate to your comment as I am going through exactly the same situation. I personally, am always considerate of other neighbours nearby, but there are just too many inconsiderate A-holes out there who couldn’t care less about my personal space and well being. So..ooo sad! Hopefully, karma will eventually come and bite them in the ass!

[@RPKGameVids]

When someone makes an excessive amount of noise often enough and it causes you distress, it is they who are at fault, it is they who are to blame, not yourself. Your emotional response to it is completely normal. It is they who should change, not yourself. But if there is no way to make them stop, and you cannot move away from it, then I agree that you should try and change your emotional response to it, I mean, what other choice is there?

[@l.l7878]

It just inconsiderate people that don't have respect for another one space.

[@DEBSCULLY01]

It's horrible. Sorry. I am trying to move my neighborhood has gotten so bad and I am in a house. I have a sleep disorder and loud bass music wakes me right up. It goes through brick walls even. I will never live where there are duplexes around me again.

[@jauxed]

Acceptance? When there's no insulation in between floors and they walk and intentionally drop things in the middle of the night, sometimes u feel like killing them. You will never get used to it. I'm just waiting for their karma.

[@queenwacrown1073]

I swear! When I say my nightly prayers, I ask God to exact his vengeance upon them and return their horribleness to them tenfold...because Lord knows the veryyyy DARK things I think of doing to them are ALL illegal and will be major jail time.😑 I hate them.

[@GodisAgapelove4172]

I needed to read these comments I needed to pray about this more because it can drive you to anger and that’s not what I want.

[@KB-xs4cl]

This is EXACTLY what I've been looking for. I don't want revenge, I can't put anything against my wall, and I am just going out of my mind. I lived in a condo for 7 years and dealt with stomping, screaming, doors slamming. It traumatized me. I finally bought a house (a semi-detached) and I can hear my neighbours' music and tv thumping. It's nowhere near as bad as the condo, but it is still so irritating and upsetting. I also have that trapped feeling. I can completely relate. I want to say something, but also wish I could just live my life and not be bothered by it. I'll listen to this video again. It was interesting and perhaps helpful if I can figure out how to relax...

[@jasonparadis]

You're in the exact same situation as me. And as terrible as this sounds, I'm glad I'm not alone in feeling this way. I've tried talking to my neighbors but they only listened once. When I went back I was told I was trespassing and that they were "done with me". I don't want to be that neighbor who complains, I don't care about any of their other noise. They can be outside driving whatever ATVs and cars all day. It's the bass. And if I could hear the song that was being played maybe I could deal with it. But because I'm trapped in this house and I can't change that fact I feel like I'm under attack. They've even turned it up since the day when they said I was trespassing. The messed up thing is I can't hear it unless I'm standing on my porch or in my living room or bedroom. I don't really hear it anywhere else which leads me to believe it's targeted. I'm just trying to deal with it the best I can save videos like this are very helpful.

[@dennisholmgren4107]

There is no escape. This is the third place I live with shit neighbors. They have started blasting music in the middle of the night during the regular weekdays, and I'm just trying to research how to talk to them and make them stop. When I spoke with the neighbors in my old place, I ended up getting death treats and treaths of violence from their drug-dealing friends. Not playing loud, bassy music in the middle of the night should be a given right? Surely people must realize that we have to get up early and go to work? No such luck in today's world it seems ...

[@lokisfriend]

I appreciate your zen attitude but I don't think we need to just accept other people being asses. There are many ways to deal with people other than being their doormat. I don't mind hearing their vacuum or tv (faintly) or their shower, etc but when they are just obnoxious and make much more noise than normal people make, it's time to deal with them, hopefully using some good sound psychology.

[@nickob55]

I'm coming around to this thinking, or similar........I prefer to remove myself from situations rather than staying and struggling or fighting or just suffering....I found a perfect place in the mountains and out of nowhere came the Clampets and they will never comply with my peace so I'm leaving, we had a brief altercation over their dogs which confirmed this.Noisy people always move as close to other people as they can......anyone noticed this.

[@shantelgoode5069]

You are absolutely right the loudest people love to be around other people it's sad cause they just don't care

[@annhaefner2180]

Yes, definitely noticed this. Someone recently stated that harrassers can't stand to see you at peace, which explains a lot. I could never understand why anyone would harrass someone but now it makes sense.

[@luthfunnaharlizu2498]

Sadly I am on the same situation. Getting stressed and anxious by the noise.

[@AmandaGoldKickAssWithBothFeet]

That’s one of the best things I learned through getting a life coach, and now what I’m so thrilled to teach others as a coach myself,,,that it’s actually not the noise causing your stress, it’s your thoughts about it! If you want to know more, feel free to message me for a free consultation. [e-mail] Take care!!

[@nuwoman1828]

Me too, I'm very introverted as well, and is like a killjoy and it robs you of your peace when you have to deal with excessive noise be it ambient or not.

[@shutit4024]

I’m dealing with this now sadly

[@oxymoron296]

I keep seeing you in vidoes talking about this subject. Looks like we're both going through the same hell.

[@shutit4024]

Oxy Moron yes 4 months later still am sadly 😔

[@oxymoron296]

@@shutit4024 Have you tried reaching out to your district representative? When it's election time they actually pretend to care and you might get lucky and find help that way.

[@shutit4024]

Oxy Moron I’ll try

[@oxymoron296]

@@shutit4024 Wish you all the best. Give them H-E double hockey sticks.

[@kirstysewell367]

You are just a decent, respectful human who thinks of others not just yourself. Wish the world had more of you...

[@sunflower8035]

She’s the type of person who would be a great UPSTAIRS neighbor.

[@paraconsistentjojo]

Does not matter. I am a quiet mouse, but my downstairs neighbor is destroying my life.

[@amkbh]

I have been facing upstairs neighbor issue for quite some time for every night. They do exercises, walking, skipping and all at night, I mean who does that? Only mentally Ill people can do that. I have old parents at home who can’t sleep coz of such noisy and uncivilized neighbors.

[@FollowingJesus17]

Whenever I have issues with neighbours who are not very nice I live in a block opposite a lady who is very narcissistic and nosey. Whenever she does something I get filled with anxiety fear. And I know this fear comes from childhood growing up around a lot of confrontation and violence

[@akumavssasher]

But moving is giving them the ultimate win, your empowering them more than ever.

[@sunnydaze5674]

Exactly. That’s how I feel too

[@akumavssasher]

But also, it's hard to ignore. When your suffering, and no one will help you. To be honest for me it brings very dark thoughts, God help me!

[@neighborsreallyfromhell9600]

@@akumavssasher i had to sue my landlord over this and i hear you about how you feel

[@boyv4667]

Hi I totally understand what you are saying, however, sound is quite physical thing and for instance if someone plays loud bass music you feel your head pulsating from vibrations, ie it is not "just" a thought what you are thinking about but vibrations or loud sounds can physically cause migranes/ even if you are thoughtless about it. Or if someone wakes you up by shouting at 2am, it is not a "thought" you had about it that woke you up, because you were not even thinking about, but loud noise woke you, and (as a consequence) you are exhausted and stressed from lack of sleep the next day. Also if mosquito bites you, it is not your thought about it that is causing you suffering, but the actual bite that stings and scratches hours afterwards. I am trying to say - fine I could decide to 'accept' everything "as it is", however putting a mosquito net on my windows prevented further suffering instantly. And yes sometimes one has to 'accept' things but sometimes it takes work to improve conditions, whether it is building a roof above head to prevent rain falling on your head (or shall we just 'leave it as it is), or whether is fighting for your basic rights (on peace), filing a complain against noisy neighbours, soundproofing or doing something about it.

[@TheNails3]

Excellent comment.

[@ASurfgirl]

Agree!

[@Lovelyp33]

That's how I'm feeling like when it's a stressful day I just wanna come home and not turn on the tv. When I come in the house its super quiet but if my neighbors hear me come home they will give me 3mins of silence if I dont turn on the tv or do house stuff they start dropping random stuff then goes to the wall and listen to what's going on then they would walk hard and then the kid will run and jump if I turn the tv on it stops for a minute then start again 5mins later and they are doing this on purpose.

[@MartinJoyceUFOConspiracy]

I tried giving those above me a hint (the broomstick thing)...they would boom to get back at me...back and forth...a few months later...I try to be quiet for them...they still walk too loud early in the morning (hollow floors) and bang back if I bang the wall...Now I'm just banging louder when they sleep...hope they back off...or I will keep banging at night when they sleep, if they keep waking me in the morning.

[@taraking8555]

My neighbors do the same. I thought it was me and I was paranoid couldn't believe someone would actually do this on purpose!

[@MartinJoyceUFOConspiracy]

@TwatWaffle1004 People can be more considerate and try to be mindful and quiet for the people below. So in that sense, you're wrong. Sounds like you purposely drove your neighbor nuts by being selfish and inconsiderate. I will keep banging until my neighbors stop being inconsiderate.. I lose sleep and she harasses me on purpose. I will continue to bang more now--you're in the middle of these chapters of ongoing back and forth noise for noies exchanges. I will bang at night and disrupt their sleep until they stop. If I get evicted, that's ok, I tried to be nice, I'm quiet for them. If evicted, they will have a lot of sleepless nights for the month it takes to get me out of there. Won't be good for them.

[@ASurfgirl]

My neighbor do the same and I also tried the ok I’ll be quiet thing I didn’t even do much have my tv on for 2 months I was just watching stuff on my phone with headphones still didn’t stop and my neighbors DEFINITELY do it on purpose since the first time I asked them can you please keep it down the man came down and got in my face and him and his whole family try to intimidate me and harass me and have done stuff to my things that were outside like dumped crap on my dog’s bed that was airing out while I washed the cover pic now have over a 1,000 videos of them and evidence of what I deal with every day so this zen thing nice concept it ain’t gonna work I’ve tried and they can’t be reasoned with. I’ve train my dogs not to bark to be a good tenant it’s a gd nightmare which I’m finding it harder and harder with no way to get out no place to go being able to cope after over a year of this and they got 4-5 ppl in a teeny tiny apt

[@annhaefner2180]

@@ASurfgirlI hope you filed in small claims court for harrassment. Filing fee is about $85 and the whole process is easy so you don't need a lawyer. It sounds like with the videos you have lots of evidence. Good luck.

[@BeaSiegal]

This was probably the most helpful video on noisy neighbors I’ve come across on this site. You described the feelings/emotions that come with these disruptions perfectly. This video made me look at myself and my home for solutions. I put a few tools in place, including rewatching this video (lol) and achieved some relative peace. Thank you so much Amanda!

[@AmandaGoldKickAssWithBothFeet]

Wonderful! So glad it helped 💖

[@SandyRocker]

Omg I can't explain how much this video helped me with molding my broken heart and held me integrated and sane . I was about to lay hands on my annoying neighbour , I was having that much of rage and then u appeared in front of my eyes like an angel and calmed me down and made me realise a lot of things , in one of your videos u said "if it's not the neighbour it's gonna be something else that's gonna annoy you", the core way to deal with this issue is to deal with your brain . These words are soo golden and then u also said something like Plan on getting into a good position so that u can afford your own place free of these annoying neighbours. I'll take these words with my heart ❤️ hope u are doing good Amanda ❤️❤️ thanks again .

[@kaimart795]

So you're telling I have to be accepting of these elephants that deliberately stomp all day and night. I have a very stressful job, I shouldn't have to come home to more stress

[@eugene1197]

Wish you were my neighbor! you seem very respectful and considerate.

[@kimclaussen9413]

I just stumbled across this on a night when I've been feeling EXTREMELY trapped, upset, and frustrated by my terrible upstairs neighbor. I need to watch this again, bookmark it, and watch it every time I'm feeling this, because hearing this felt like lifting a weight from me. ❤

[@SandyRocker]

Hello Amanda I can't explain how soul lifting this video is , I'm going through a lot with a lousy neighbour, what ever u speak her is 100 percent relatable .. I love you , u are really a role model for me .. u recovered from multiple addiction and look at u right now u are helping people out all around the world .. u are a champ 🏆 . I wish you with all goodness and u are a true soul. Again i love you ,❤️

[@printf4748]

You are the only person that practises this attitude of acceptance in the many similar videos about noisy neighbours that I have viewed so far. And I think this is great. This kind of stoic attitude is the best antidote against all those unfairness around us, because we are often powerless to change the outside world, but we can always change how we view the outside world. But this is really not easy to put into practice, but it's worth trying.

[@AmandaGoldKickAssWithBothFeet]

printf47 thanks for this! It’s kind of why I started making these videos, because everywhere I was looking for help was about changing THEM. And I know that just isn’t how I want to live today. I love practicing stoicism, too, so I’m glad that’s coming through! Thanks for watching :)

[@tantan4549]

I am dealing with noisy neighbors who have insulted my family after we tried talking to them, and then tried to make our life harder. I have though about doing things to get back at them, but I know is not the way, and that the best solution is acceptance as you said, but seeing my family suffering makes angry and they cannot reach the same answer I have, so it has been really difficult for us.

[@aanirana2003]

I have a crazy batshit neighbour she makes so much noise then complains to the other neighbours that im noisy and they side with her because she has a baby...

[@s.t.a.r.d.u.s.t.8]

Trust me you would burn that book with the neighbors I have over me...

[@karig4473]

You know what's funny I'm just like you and I rented 3 places in my life the newest one that I live in now is by far the noisiest and not to mention has the most disrespectful neighbors and landlord but I got to expect it because I'm tired of moving for now

[@piscespisces6]

Currently putting my condo on the market to buy a house because of this. Things were great for several years until the pandemic hit. Filed complaints, had calm civil discussions. Nothing works. Fought a long hard fight and I’m done.

[@lulu-iz7bv]

You are not always the problem. Lack of sleep exacerbates any problem. Try the Instant Karma machine. Easy directions right here on youtube. Instant karma works! It exposes the neighbors to their noise. That's right---to THEIR own noise. And when the police come, at the request of the noisy neighbors, of course... the police have the please of telling the neighbors---what you are hearing is YOUR OWN NOISE. The neighbors get tired of hearing their own noise and either move or stop making the noise. Problem over.

[@24hourgmtchannel64]

It's no better in a residential home. I'm near two families with young kids who scream in the pool all day during the summer and I can hear them with the widows shut an AC on. Then behind me are the with the jacuzzi neighbors with the built in boom radio. I like what you said about being introverted. I am as well and like a 55+ neighborhood I wish there was an introverted only as no one would be out in their backyard lol.

[@ambrid5837]

I cannot express how much I experience everything youve said. I have struggled with neighbors for 14 years in my apt.

[@MoeMoeMassacre]

I know this is 3 years old, but I hope you’re still doing well!

[@ppeccin]

Thanks, I've been suffering from the same problem, and I'm looking for ways to just accept it, just stop trying to change other people and rather solve the problem within myself. You helped me a lot. Do you have any other suggestions on this??? Thanks!

[@reeneeh]

I am practicing the same thing. just bought an apt in nyc and my upstair neighbor is so loud. she walks like she is 250lbs. it is owned by an investment company, pretty sure they use crappy wood floor.

[@joshposh7239]

I'm sober for 9 years and 10 months exactly to this day... and I'm a pretty quiet person I love my living situation but there's some people above me who randomly Blast non distinct R&B music My Solutions was to get some comfortable bluetooth headphones and turn on Brown Noise I know they're doing it on purpose too... because the last person who lived here complained about the noise. And she said it got worse afterwards ... .and that's why she was moving. at first I was a Humble guy just like you said about acceptance but the other side of the coin is that if you keep turning the cheek you run out of cheeks. I noticed that every time I came into my apartment I would all of a sudden hear stomping and then the music would start. So I just play brown noise in the headphones. the crazy thing is that I can go weeks without incident but sometimes they're just blasting Crappy R&B music ... R&B has crazy beets and I don't even know who they're listening to it's like underground crap R&B

[@M_Sonata]

Thank you for your wisdom Amanda. You are very wise and charming.

[@ssgallanthtc]

Thank you Amanda this was helpful. I'm in a situation where I'm trying to decide if, when, and how to confront my neighbors.

[@neighborsreallyfromhell9600]

I have been dealing with the same thing but i sued my landlord cause i was tired of dealing with the BS

[@VoxDeiUniversity]

Did you win??

[@neighborsreallyfromhell9600]

@@VoxDeiUniversity they have decided to settle out of court.

[@darneittajones8338]

I have neighbors who set their car alarm to go off SERIOUS every 5 minutes 4 blast of their car horn to scare away auto thiefs. Day and night I hear this crap and cop don't do a damn thing.

[@kathy2910]

This is a gift to me. I really needed to hear it and I so appreciate this. Thank you.

[@Fraeulein-Solveig]

How am I supposed to accept 24/7 extremely loud bass music ,that I can feel in my whole body? It's not possible. And I won't let asshates rule the world. 😁

[@taneishahn4020]

This video is not what I expected. However, it gave me peace to endure the madness. My husband and I decided to end our lease early due to the noise of our upstairs and we are welcoming a newborn in a few days. We have 49 days left before we move and I am beyond ready. I am going to try to stay positive for the sake of my mental health and baby girl. Thank you! 😊

[@strwbrryscake8]

I'm mentally disturbed because of them

[@rizvirashid1493]

I got neighbours all around me that are loud toss trash in my compound and just won’t let me have peace, I been trying to deal with em by confronting them and putting it straight out but it all keeps coming back, might contact authorities in near future but i think that even that won’t really help change mentality, my area is a horrible semi-urbanised hood and its full of shitheads, my ultimate goal move the fuck outta here and get a house in a neighbourhood of my stratification.

[@JewishKeto]

So my neighbor has at least 2 horrible little sh*ts… I’m ready to call CPS with all the screaming. Hey if they are not harming their kids then there is nothing to fear.

[@creb2429]

I normally don’t comment but your video was very insightful. I hope you’re doing well and got yourself a home!

[@thedude9282]

....acceptance isn't approval...im learning radical acceptance in DBT.

[@Adelbg25]

I needed this. Being at home all day bc of COVID has been nice but my neighbors are always home too and walk so hard. But I have to tell myself that they’re really just walking in their house. I’ve been telling myself not to expect ME from OTHERS. I just keep my AirPods and water sound app handy.

[@AmandaGoldKickAssWithBothFeet]

bomarash09 that’s great! Practicing the new thoughts and also having coping skills handy...you’re doing the deal! Good luck

[@mikerochon2508]

It also sound like you have what I have its called, Misophonia it is a disorder in which certain sounds trigger neighbour

[@SavannahRouse-b7q]

This is really good advice

[@stephenthorne4536]

You give off great vibes,,, lovely woman 🤗

[@suzanneshabazz523]

Brilliant, Also i believe that when we change the world around us will change.

[@trustme2001]

Omg, I'm so glad I found these videos. I thought I was going through this alone. But I'm looking into moving out though.

[@noctiscaelum6019]

It's outright disrespectful, I love Metallica and loud music, I save it for my car rides not subject my neighbors to it. Wish the same level of respect is shown to me but sadly it isn't. So I called the cops on him so many times he finally got evicted 😁🤣

[@Antraeus]

Yeah acceptance for 6 months. lol. What if you had to live there permanently?

[@cathrine1151]

I found a top floor apartment in the same building. I'm moving! Yahh!

[@megg.1610]

I can relate to you totally

[@alynn.art.studio]

I’m going through the same feelings and problems!

[@thoughtgarden8090]

Also a recovering addict dealing with this issue right now. This was ver enlightening. Your right I keep seeking issues because I'm uncomfortable where I'm at. I will try this thank you from maine. Also your apartment looks just like mine lol

[@AmandaGoldKickAssWithBothFeet]

Hey ! So glad this helped. Email at [e-mail] if I can help more! I also made a playlist with all my ‘noisy neighbors’ videos, lots of different ways to approach it if it’s still troubling you. Plus I take requests! So if there’s a specific issue feel free to reach out and I will do my best to address it either privately or with a video. I’m sure you’re not the only one with that issue:) We’re not alone in this! Glad you’re here.

[@thoughtgarden8090]

Oh ya there down there slamming doors and all kinds of shit it's getting really hard not to be bitter lol doenst help that she is a drunk. Thank you for reaching out I appreciate you.

[@PumpkinSpicePretzels]

"If I feel like being loud, that's definitely what I feel like doing. I don't like others being loud"... what? You have no justification for complaining about others being loud if you think it doesn't matter when you're loud.

[@mechanickiwi4116]

The worst thing you can do is confront them with an angry attitude, if you do they will be louder on purpose, speak to them calmly about the situation.If they just ignore you and carry-on, then let the appropriate authorities deal with them.

[@EmberHarrington]

Omg I think youre my twin. lol Im exactly the same. I simply cant take noise/ vibrations. Im overly sensative. Earplugs, Multiple Sound machines. Do you have a car? I took out the back seat of mine and made a bed in the back and go car camping. Try it! Its great. Escape!!

[@jakackalyn]

Wow thank you

[@debbieharriman8959]

Amanda I'm having problems with neighbors also But I'm buying a house ,out in the country

[@emotown1]

great idea. But still, farmers can be noisy sometimes (a lot of their machinery can make loud high pitched whines that pervades for miles around) and where I live there are gunshots from rabbit and grouse shooting, just when you're trying to get an early morning bit of shut-eye! We just live in a noisy world.

[@pixpurin]

ITS A SATURDAY AND MY 9 YEAR OLD NEIGBORS ARE PLAYING IN THE RAIN NOT SHUTTING UPPPP

[@mineedo]

thank you for this!

[@zl7053]

💜Thankyou💜

[@mightyobserver12]

If I find topics like this in Philippines, it is usually from the lawyers. LoL

[@aanirana2003]

This is my exact feeling

[@vt9007]

it is not you the problem. they have to change. that is why there are norms and rules for all to follow

[@AmandaGoldKickAssWithBothFeet]

What happens when other people don't change? When they don't follow the "rules"? I offer freedom for people who are ready to accept that and stop suffering because of it 💖thanks for being here!

[@King.Mark.]

fight fire with fire

[@hughiedavies6069]

Yeah I am introverted and have above and below who are difficult, it really affects me at times, yeah im having to accept that its about me, it gets worse whenever I let it freak me out, weird ive just discovered Byron Katie on KZbin. thank you. 😊 👍

[@pablopickasso4098]

Maybe if you spent less money on tats, you can live in a better neighbourhood

[@NikonChicFL]

There has to be a balance. It’s to the point where I can’t be too quiet. Smh...