NON BINARY BOTTOM SURGERY: Why I’m Getting It & How I Came To That Decision (AMAB)

[@BWAcolyte]

Congrats!! That's a huge step. Realizing I didn't have dysphoria or euphoria about my current body but that I would be infinitely happier after SRS was the one thing that made me realize that I'm trans for the first time. The surgery still terrifies me but I'm pretty sure it will happen at some point. Wishing you all the best. I'm sure it will be life changing~

[@brynnavery]

I’m glad you’re able to see a vision of yourself that feels happiest. I wish you the best moving forward, and thank you for your support 💛

[@MaybeGodwillsaveMe]

33 now and trying to find every ounce of courage I have to live more like you. Your videos are vital to a lot of us.

[@brynnavery]

I know this isn’t entirely the same, but my ex girlfriend came out as a lesbian when she was 34 (I was her first partner after coming out), and I saw the struggles she went through with that. I know my experience is probably different than yours since I came out at 18, but I just wanted to let you know I feel for you and I can understand the struggle on a lot of levels, through my experience of being trans, and through seeing my ex come out as someone in her 30s. I wish you the best, and know you’re valid and important and deserve the best things this world has to offer 💛

[@justsayalhamdulillaah9720]

Your videos are SOOOOOOOOO valuable to me as a ftm.thank you ❤❤❤

[@brynnavery]

So happy to hear that! 💛

[@justanothor1]

Congrats on the surgery date and making a decision how you wanted to handle it. I got to say your explanation for your thought process of deciding whether to do it or not was very interesting. I had not thought of it like that. It's going to definitely make me think that whole decision as I go forward in transition. Thanks as always for the help.

[@brynnavery]

Thank you!! I’m glad my thought process is something that can help you. I try to have a very analytical and logical process while also balancing that with the feelings I have. It can be a struggle but I feel like I’m at a good place with my decision. Best of luck to you 💛

[@StatTheMusicFinder]

Have you had any other stuff done to make you look/feel better for yourself? Sorry if my English is bad. I’m just curious due to having so many questions that need answered for myself, thanks

[@brynnavery]

You’re English is perfect 😊 I’ve been on HRT since 2016 and I had bottom surgery back in 2022. Other than that I haven’t had any surgeries or beauty enhancements. I’ve worked on my voice some, but not a lot.

[@queens.dee.223]

Commenting from the future here, but journaling and looking at patterns in one's thought patterns to see how one feels, in the moment and over time, is so important. It's helped me figure out so much. I'm so grateful to you for your videos. They've been a major part of me allowing myself to be ... me!

[@brynnavery]

💛💛💛💛💛

[@Narusasu98]

Congrats! Happy for you :) And thanks for the calendar tip, really smart!

[@brynnavery]

Thank you!! And you’re welcome! 😊

[@sointeresting3938]

If you're happy it's best not to change something just for the sake of changing something, for you may just lose your happiness. And the change is permanent.

[@brynnavery]

I didn’t get bottom surgery just for the sake of changing something.. lol I had dysphoria over my bottom area for as long as I can remember. Bottom surgery is one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. That being said, there was a lot of fear and a lot of self gaslighting because I was afraid to make such a big decision. But I’m really happy I made the decision I did 💛 I have other videos post op (and I have another video coming out Friday) that touch on how I feel afterwards, if you’re interested in seeing those.

[@sointeresting3938]

@@brynnavery I am happy that you are pleased with your choice. That is important for it is irreversible. If it makes you happy, that is fantastic. We always hope for the best. However, what I wrote was not directed to you necessarily. It was in response to something you told your listeners, and so it was directed to them. You were saying that people don't have to be experiencing strong levels of dysphoria before they decide to transition surgically, that sometimes, we just need a change, like changing a job that you don't necessarily hate... that was your example. I wrote what I wrote in response to those words. Change is not always the solution. Nor is it always a better place, especially when we are talking about an irreversible change that comes with risks and consequences. And so, a pretty strong degree of dysphoria would be preferable before someone makes an irreversible decision that comes with lots of uncertainty in terms of outcome. You are one of the fortunate ones. More power to you. But it's not the case for all. And you telling your audience that they don't need to necessarily feel overly dysphoric about their current situation before they decide to transition in a permanent manner, well those words can have huge impact seeing you have a fan base. And for some, it may be harmful, especially for the younger ones who cannot truly assess the entirety of the situation they are facing, in the here and then. The future is often short-sighted for younger people. And so, yes, strong dysphoria is definitely preferable before embarking on such a journey of uncertainty. All the best to you Bryn. And to your fans as well.

[@brynnavery]

@sointeresting3938 that makes sense, and I understand what you’re saying. Hopefully I didn’t come across as rude to you in my rent, if I did, then I do apologize. I think regardless of age, people should obviously put in lots of thought before making a permanent decision. My point in saying that you don’t have to have horrible dysphoria was to acknowledge that there are multiple aspects when it comes to decision making. Yes, having a very negative experience is often a sign that something must change. But I also know that you don’t have to be miserable in order to want something more/better. I also know that as trans people, we can often times learn to deal with & manage dysphoria, to where it’s so normalized to us that we don’t realize the weight we are carrying. I’m not sure if I talked about that in this video or not, but with every step of my transition, I’ve realized I had more dysphoria over aspects of my “prior” identity/body than I realized. Similarly, taking anti-depressants made me realize just how depressed I actually was. And looking back to before surgery, I had a lot more dysphoria than I was able to acknowledge. I appreciate the sentiment of what you were saying in your comment, as it is never my intention to mislead anyone, especially people who are looking to me for “advice” or my opinion. I just wanted to share my perspective with my own journey, since it’s not stuff that I hear often. Thank you again for being respectful and conveying how you feel 💛

[@brynnavery]

*reply, not rent

[@sointeresting3938]

@@brynnavery I thank you as well for your respectful reply. All the very best to you Bryn.

[@starsinfinity1987]

Yay 😁 so happy for you

[@brynnavery]

Thank you!! I’m so excited!!

[@mx.lucyfur]

Whoa whoa whoa... I know this is a year old and I'm likely just talking to the ether but you can go for surgery that is aesthetically more like someone who was AFAB and on T for a while? That is like... my absolute ideal. Mind ba-lown. Thank you so much for putting this out there. I'm likely to be watching this several times over as I explore whether or not I want to pursue bottom surgery.

[@brynnavery]

I’m glad my video was able to help you!! I know for me it was a relief knowing that genitals looking like someone AFAB on T was a possibility, even tho I ultimately decided against it. But yeah, it’s basically just more erectile tissue and a bigger cl*t (idk if KZbin would be mad if I actually spelled the word lmfao). If you have any questions or anything about my process, feel free to ask! I have a vlog series of my recovery from bottom surgery on my channel if you haven’t seen those. A lot of people found them helpful and they may be able to help you as well. Much love 💛

[@sointeresting3938]

You didn't ask for my opinion but this is a public platform and so I thought I'd reach out. Bryn and I had a written exchange and I thought I'd share with you my response to her. Take it for what it is, part of the exploration, of the journey to self-discovery.... And so, this is what I answered Bryn. "I am happy that you are pleased with your choice. That is important for it is irreversible. If it makes you happy, that is fantastic. We always hope for the best. However, what I wrote was not directed to you necessarily. It was in response to something you told your listeners, and so it was directed to them. You were saying that people don't have to be experiencing strong levels of dysphoria before they decide to transition surgically, that sometimes, we just need a change, like changing a job that you don't necessarily hate... that was your example. I wrote what I wrote in response to those words. Change is not always the solution. Nor is it always a better place, especially when we are talking about an irreversible change that comes with risks and consequences. And so, a pretty strong degree of dysphoria would be preferable before someone makes an irreversible decision that comes with lots of uncertainty in terms of outcome. You are one of the fortunate ones. More power to you. But it's not the case for all. And you telling your audience that they don't need to necessarily feel overly dysphoric about their current situation before they decide to transition in a permanent manner, well those words can have huge impact seeing you have a fan base. And for some, it may be harmful, especially for the younger ones who cannot truly assess the entirety of the situation they are facing, in the here and then. The future is often short-sighted for younger people. And so, yes, strong dysphoria is definitely preferable before embarking on such a journey of uncertainty. All the best to you Bryn. And to your fans as well."

[@jdthompson01]

Oh my God. I thought I was the only one. I am getting bottom surgery May 11. I’m still presenting male as a non-binary individual and cool with that. I just feel the genitalia feels wrong.

[@brynnavery]

I think that’s so awesome. And I think it’s absolutely wonderful that you know yourself well enough to know that you want bottom surgery and prefer to present as male. That was something that confused me/threw me off about myself for so long (even tho I don’t consider myself as presenting as male, being androgynous I used to feel confused why I felt disconnected from my genitals and tried to “logic” my way through it. Took me a while to accept my feelings about my gender & genitalia. Even tho they seemed contradicting to me it felt right). Good luck with surgery!! You’re welcome to message me on IG (bryn_neutral) if you have any questions about recovery when you’re going through it! 💛

[@jdthompson01]

@@brynnavery Thank you so much for replying. Yea I’m not totally happy presenting male but I’m 55 and established in my career. I’m ok with it because I think trying to present female felt like I was playing dress up and not authentic which was hella confusing. I am thinking that once I have had my procedure I’m going to be freer and allow myself some grace to explore presenting more androgynously. I know in my soul that once I get my surgery I can feel complete either way. I can’t believe there is someone who has felt like me. I thought what the f@uck was wrong with me. Thank you for sharing. I appreciate you so much. I do. ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️

[@brynnavery]

@@jdthompson01 Aw that makes so much sense. I totally know that feeling of knowing you’ll feel free after surgery. Even without the world knowing you’ve had surgery (once you’ve had it), *you’ll* know, and that is going to make a world of difference. I’m so happy for you, and best of luck with surgery 💛

[@heyheyhey0220]

Bryn your videos are so helpful and inspiring to me (mtf/x)

[@brynnavery]

So happy to hear that 💛

[@arfriedman4577]

much success to you and your family always ❤ good wishes too.

[@brynnavery]

Thank you! 💛

[@lx9037]

Happy for you!!

[@brynnavery]

Thank you!! 😊

[@tristanharrison9830]

I would like to know if I had Nullo operations can I still look male but how could I talk to my husband

[@fehh1972]

hey! just wanted to say this video saved my life. The society is pretty binary, specially Brazil, where to have surgery you have to be either transfem or transmasc. What sucks for non binary fellas. I'm non binary, genderfluid. But most of the time my identity is more male related, which is my assigned gender. Most of my male characteristics don't bother me, but the genitalia sucks for me. It's horrible. I was lost, thinking I was crazy, cause I wanted to have a vagina so bad, even because it just looks right for me. Thanks for the video!

[@fehh1972]

my gosh, thanks so much, I feel the same way

[@brynnavery]

You’re not crazy at all. I know it can feel that way when there’s not much representation though. You’re totally valid 💛

[@Dogwithguitar]

Good 4 u!

[@brynnavery]

Thank you! 💛

[@ynffsy2443]

May I ask if you did anything special to get insurance approval, or did you use insurance at all? It seems quite easy for insurance to deny coverage for nonbinary people, and I am currently fighting such a case.

[@brynnavery]

So yes I did use insurance. My insurance had specific requirements that I had to meet (such as being on HRT for a year and living as the “desired gender” for a year as well I think). When I was getting my letters I needed for approval, I had a gender therapist and a psychiatrist who worked closely with her and was treating me for my bipolar disorder, so they both write letters basically saying that A) I was in the right mental state to make a decision like this and B) that the surgery would add significant benefit to my life. One thing that helped (even tho it made me a little uncomfortable) was my therapist and psychiatrist both used she/her pronouns for me in the letter and used terms like “trans feminine” and stuff. Which helped sort of categorize me in an almost binary way so that it would be taken more seriously and seen as more of a necessity (since a lot of professionals & insurances don’t understand non binary identities). Sometimes you’ll have to submit paperwork more than once, or fight a case, because since bottom surgery specifically but really any gender related surgery, is so expensive they might not automatically approve it. But I will say a lot of insurances are doing better with stuff like this. I know there’s a fair amount of insurances that cover top surgery for AFAB non binary people. My surgeon and his office handled all the insurance stuff, I just gave them the letters from my therapist and psychiatrist and they did the rest and then called me once it was approved

[@ynffsy2443]

@@brynnavery My letters from two mental health professionals as well as my pcp did specify that I am nonbinary and used they/them pronouns. I don’t think it would work if I let them change that. However, my insurance allows me to submit any supplemental documents I want in addition to those letters, so I am writing a personal statement and aggregated a photo album of myself through my transition. I hope it can work XD.

[@brynnavery]

@@ynffsy2443 I hope it works out! I’d definitely write in your letter how long you’ve been contemplating surgery/how young you were when your bottom dysphoria started coming into play. And if it’s appropriate, feel free to mention that another non binary individual (me) you know has gone through this surgery and it’s helped immensely. I wish you the best, keep me updated please! 💛

[@ynffsy2443]

@@brynnavery Thank you. I will mention that and include a link to your channel.

[@ladeacarr4245]

please dont do it, you may never feel pleasure again.. 😢

[@brynnavery]

Lol it’s been over a year since I got it done and I’m very sensitive down there