Non-Binary Transition Talk: Identity, Low dose Testosterone and more | Black Non Binary Journey

[@kudziisuuASMR]

After thinking I was transgender "MTF" I learned that after a while I'm not, I don't want to be seen as a woman or called a woman, but I also don't want to be seen as a boy and called a boy, being called he/him pronouns by strangers never really bothered me that much, but when it came to friends and family I really wanted to tell them that I didn't like being called them. After a lot of thinking I learned I'm just a feminine leaning non binary person, I identify with being feminine MUCH more then being masculine. one friend of mine shit on me saying "people will just see you as a gay man" and honestly, I'd rather be seen as the "gay man who is the woman in the relationship" then the one who is the man, know what I mean? I wouldn't say I'm transfem either cause I'm not trying to look a LOT like a woman, I'm trying to do both but i'm not sure how to look like both man and woman.

[@mavmagick]

Wow this took a lot of self reflection. I am so happy that you listened to yourself and are able to feel comfortable being who you are. I feel the same way in that my goal is to look both feminine and masculine. I think I’m figuring out more and more exactly how to do that in a way that is affirming for me more and more. Just take your time and have fun!! Much love ❤️

[@mickeyshroom4481]

Thank you so much for letting us hear your journey❤ I'm personally Nonbinary transmasc and just bought my first binder to see how I'd like a flatter chest and goodness. That was a game changer!

[@mavmagick]

I love sharing with y’all!! Once you go flat you never go back!!

[@wildmanlopez9772]

So from what I understand being nonbinary has nothing to do with the fact that you are a girl ?

[@apollicino2824]

As someone who came into their nonbinary ID later in life (33), I often wish someone had pulled me aside when I was 7 or 8 and told me gender wasn't binary...but I do wonder how kiddos today are wrestling with access to information now (in the current political climate). I would love to hear an integrational discussion with younger and older nonbinary folx.

[@DawnAndDusk6]

It makes me so happy to hear someone speak the feelings I dont have words for. You described my non binary experience so well and I feel so seen 💕

[@mavmagick]

Thank yo so much for sharing! It brings my heart so much joy to know this was relatable. 🥰

[@fae2936]

i've been struggling to fully understand myself and my identity for years and it is so comforting to have creators like you who talk about your experiences. Especially as a young trans person it is so important to see things like this, thank you !

[@mavmagick]

This warms my heart!! I wish I had this when I was young so it brings me to much joy that you appreciate these videos peace and love!

[@Klaus_Mikaelson_TVD]

I was really insecure about my body at a very young age and kept wanting to chnage my gender I use to be trans (so I wanted to be a male) but then I noticed I don’t fit in either but I still wanna look masculine! I do technically identify as trans but I decided that I will have no gender and thank you for talking about this so people can understand you and non binary properly

[@zxevictxria]

thank you for sharing this. your experiences sound similar to mine, and that day/night metaphor is so affirming.

[@mavmagick]

So glad to hear it was helpful! Thank you for sharing 🥰

[@sarahphillips9644]

Your voice is so soothing and androgynous - jealousy??? Loved this perspective

[@mavmagick]

Ahh!! Thank you so much!! Glad you loved the video

[@jsevestjanova]

I thought I was the only one that had that sensation in my stomach when someone said something that made me dysphoric!! This is why these videos are so helpful!! ❤❤❤❤

[@mavmagick]

You are definitely not alone!! 🥰🥰🥰

[@bxtherhythmstrategist]

Love this and appreciate your perspective! Definitely relatable on many fronts! Wishing you all the best in your journey!

[@mavmagick]

Thank you so much! ❤️

[@ZijnShayatanica]

Thank you so much for starting your channel! I just found this one, but I'm definitely gonna subscribe & watch your previous videos. 💕 I'm 29 & I've finally reached a point that I'm GENUINELY recognizing myself as nonbinary [transmasc]. Like... Not just joking about it. Or hearing stories of nonbinary people & being happy for them but thinking "no, I've come to terms with being a girl, I'm fine". Or brushing off my identity as internalized misogyny. I'm... Finally there. Of course, in order to get there, I did have to unpack a lot of trauma & internalized misogyny. I had to do a lot of psychological work in order to determine what parts were dysphoria & what parts were insecurity. So... As upset as I am that I didn't have this language or knowledge when I was young enough to go on puberty blockers, I'm glad I have had time to know myself better. I'm still not sure what I want, as far as transitioning... Low dose T sounds PERFECT as far as lowering my voice a bit, bottom growth, & some fat/muscle changes. But I need to iron out some existing hormonal issues first. 🙃 Top surgery, tho? I dunno... I think I'd be happy with an extreme reduction. On normal days, I could wear a compression sports bra & be totally flat. On days where I want to wear my "girl costume", I can wear whatever I want & not have to worry about a bra or looking EXCEEDINGLY female by default -- I still want a bit of mystery as to whether I'm actually a girl or not, lol Thank you for sharing your story! I'm so happy for your upcoming consultation & I'm excited to hear about it. 😊

[@mavmagick]

So grateful for you sharing your story! The denial can be a huge roadblock and it was for me too. Also the amount of repressed trauma I had to go through was massive but it was the only way I could find my true self. Low dose T was a great option it’s helping me feel more comfortable in my own skin. I’m also looking to leave some chest tissue intact but hoping for more chest masculinization in surgery but I’ll talk about that in my next video. So happy to have you join me on this journey ❤️

[@ch4lk250]

thanks a lot for this video! A while back i started really considering that i could be nonbinary. I recently had to move back in with my family though and i know my parents probably wouldn't be accepting if i came out, and just spending time at home being treated like a woman all the time makes me feel like i'm making things up, even though i was so confident when living alone. Videos like this really helps me remember what i feel about my gender is valid though.

[@mavmagick]

Thank you so much for sharing this! You are the only one who knows your truth. Trust yourself ❤️

[@ucleigh]

Thank you for sharing your journey thus far!

[@mavmagick]

Thank you for watching ❤️

[@papi_manny]

I am so excited. I literally just got an email that my T will be here tomorrow!!

[@mavmagick]

🥳🥳

[@papi_manny]

@@mavmagick yessss, thank youuuu

[@unemployedscholar4320]

I found this video to be affirming. Usually I listen to voices that are described as "androgynous", but more often than not, they're usually on the high end of male or the low end of female, but your voice when you made this video was smack dab in the middle, with harmonics traditionally understood as female and the harshness, buzziness and scratchiness traditionally understood as male. For most of my life I've been in the extremely low female/high male register--- with traditionally understood as female harmonics and traditionally understood as male resonance, but by using various vocal techniques I was able to push it into the middle male register, so that I was able to sound like a younger teenager. What I didn't realize was that I was very close to the voice break already. An unexpected testosterone boost, though it didn't drop my regular speaking voice by that much, gave me that buzzy sound so now I sound like a teenager without using any vocal techniques. The voice break increased the volume and fullness of my voice in the third and second octave so in the second octave I'm able to finally sound at least somewhat like an adult man. I feel validated by non-binary people medically transitioning to one of the points in their transition when they gain a voice which is thoroughly androgynous--traditionally understood as female harmonics and traditionally understood as male harshness and/or traditionally understood as male resonance, that they consider it a voice change and progress in their transition. As someone who for the longest time who had traditionally understood as male resonance and traditionally understood as female harmonics, I felt like my voice was strange. But then I realized that people medically transitioning achieved at some point in their transition, voices with similarity to my voice both before and after my voice break. I feel euphoric at watching videos of non-binary transition, because it reminds me that vocally, I had for years been at the crossroads between female and male. Now though my voice has shifted further into the male register, my voice is still close to the crossroads.

[@mavmagick]

Wow this was so cool to read! I’ve never put this much thought into the technical side of my voice! But I’ve loved how my voice has changed! And I’m glad this was affirming to you!!!

[@unemployedscholar4320]

@@mavmagick Thanks! I'm glad that your voice changes have been a positive change for you! By focusing on the vocal technique, most people can train their voice to sound female or male. The only limitation is the perceived age of the voice. A female-perceived person whose voice sits around the fifth octave won't be able to sound like an adult man, but they will be able to sound like a boy no matter how high their voice is, by modifying resonance, talking speed, and making their voice less smooth. Whereas it's difficult for an adult male-perceived person to sound like a little girl. A young woman, yes, but not a little girl. Not only the pitch but the resonance, timbre, and other aspects of the voice all factors in to whether a voice is perceived as female, male, or androgynous. The transitioning men usually don't get to an androgynous point or they don't stay there long. They go from high female or low female or very low female/high male or very high male to medium male or low male. The androgynous point actually reveals where a voice which sounds like an adult woman or a little boy gains some of the vocal quality of an adult man. But as long as the harmonics understood as female remain, then that voice is understood as androgynous rather than entirely male. Vocal androgyny is usually treated as a condition of incompleteness, that one is only halfway to the destination point. I think that notion is changing now, with more people identifying as non-binary and either staying longer in vocal androgyny or vocal androgyny itself being the destination point.

[@schquitagoodwin7549]

soooooo definitely googled bottom growth. and now im looking at intersex as an identity. thanks for the gems!

[@mavmagick]

I’m pretty sure intersex is a medical label but go off!! 🥰🥰

[@greensage241]

eeeee, thank you for this. we are so worthy of documenting our stories

[@mavmagick]

Thank you my darling! I have loved sharing my heart!

[@bujomoss]

I’m going through an identity awakening lately, and you honestly give me so much gender envy. Thanks for your thoughts man, super helpful

[@Earth2Deejay]

Thank you for this video. Starting my journey into transitioning to enby and it’s such a new topic there’s little info and support especially for POC

[@mavmagick]

So glad to be of help me friend 🥰

[@jlycox]

im relating to you in so many ways, happy to have come across ur video (:

[@mavmagick]

I’m so glad! Thanks Jessica 🥰

[@enderpuppy]

Thank you for doing this, from a fellow enby sibling ❤

[@daitime9026]

If you haven’t already done so, can you please make a video about how you advocated for yourself initially wanting a high dose of T then switching to a low dose once you started seeing changes?

[@mavmagick]

That’s a great idea! I’ll definitely make one about my HRT journey specifically! Thanks for the suggestion!

[@daitime9026]

@@mavmagick thank you so much! I’m looking forward to it!

[@Catchmarley]

I identify with non binary ppl I completely understand yall I lean more towards the masculine/man side but I’m not extreme with it I still acknowledge my diviness me being born “female” is my super power as a man is how I see it .

[@im19ice3]

very beautiful explanation, the sky thing, thank you for sharing

[@mavmagick]

you are so welcome. It took me such a long time to put words to the experience I was having.

[@dianaarreola1790]

Watching your videos has helped me with my own journey so much, thank you for sharing with us and thank you for posting ❤️

[@mavmagick]

Yay! I’m so glad it is helping! 🥰

[@carolburke9153]

Clocked in only to realise i should move on fast.

[@Pleasurechest985]

A blend? Amazing

[@markov1300]

Lovely video!

[@mavmagick]

Thank you so much! Glad you liked it🙌🏾

[@Rona.-.]

You mention your wife, how did you guys meet . It'd be interesting to get to know the intricacies of dating as an NB. Maybe some of the hurdles you guys had to go through in the beginning?

[@mavmagick]

Ahh yes!! We met online and then fell in love and the rest is history! I began my transition about 6months before we got married. She has been the biggest support during my transition. I think this would be a good topic for a future video! Thanks for the comment 😆

[@JesusJoy-c6j]

Hi I am new to being nonbinary and I really feel like I am lacking a lot of language to explain myself to others or even myself. Do you know any good resources for learning good language?

[@mavmagick]

This one is tricky, I can’t think of an exact source right now, but keep listening to others and see what resonates! Lots of love!

[@SacredInkk]

What is bottom growth ?

[@mavmagick]

During masculinization hormone therapy a person will experience changes in their genitals. I’d recommend doing some research on line to get a full understanding of what the process is like and what to expect :)

[@SacredInkk]

Okay thank you

[@MH-wx8dk]

Love your video, and what dosage are you on if you don't mind? 💕

[@mavmagick]

Thanks for the love! I started on .3 injections and then dropped to .1. I went back to .4 for a few months for my voice to drop a bit quicker and now I’m back on .1! It’ll be different for everyone and there are ways to take an even smaller dose of that’s what you’re looking for

[@bookbagloser1573]

slay

[@drcortex2542]

Hi I hope we can be friends

[@ValenciaLawrence-s3n]

You look pretty to me

[@JohnW-hm3eg]

So your binary is not determined by chromosome makeup, right??

[@Aplacewhereanythinggoes]

Trump cutting you off 😅😂