Not All Women Want to be Mothers

[@notevenemily]

Hi guys, so I actually filmed this before the Roe v Wade decision, and i debated even posting it, but i feel it’s relevant and important. I am pro-choice, i believe people should be able to make decisions about their bodies, especially when it comes to something as significant as having a child and going through pregnancy. I know this video is light hearted and comedic, but our rights being taken away is extremely serious and everyone will be affected by it. Please do what you can to educate others and don’t give up hope!! i know it feels like bad things are happening every day, but we have to keep fighting! anyways, i do hope you guys enjoyed the video and have a great day as always. - your online older sister

[@lacuna3499]

THANK YOU for posting this tbh. We need more people speaking up against this bs. Also what baffles is how people fail to understand the very basic concept of 1. If it is not your life that is going to be effected do not speak for me. 2. The fact that if a woman is already doesn't even want the child and is willing to part away with it what makes you think she wouldn't feel the same way after being forced to give birth. This not only increases the chances of having toxic environment and families but also is ruining both their lives. 3. And mostly the law is going to prevent only safe abortions, now rather than one there are two lives at stake. I could go on for this topic 😭 btw i love you vids and comedic skits 💃

[@butter6156]

Emily when is the short film you’re in coming out or if it is out already where can I watch it

[@SolomonGriffen]

I've always wanted an online older sister.

[@anushka6559]

I am pro life but I respect ur opinion.

[@dead5066]

@@anushka6559 prolife for yourself but support the right for others to choose :) great

[@star_is_a_potato]

My mum has always said "You never stop being a parent." When you have kids that's a lifelong commitment to another human being. I cannot blame anyone who chooses a different path.

[@crazyowlgirlcncowner]

Exactly! I want to be a mom someday but so many women don't. And I'd rather see women be happily "selfish" or whatever without kids than women who never really wanted kids and were pushed to have them and then act selfishly because they don't feel like having a kid. I personally do think that if you have kids you need to be ready to take your kid with you and center your life around making sure that kids grows up fine. Because when you don't have the time for that, the kid grows up neglected and may have issues to overcome. And then the woman can't follow her career dreams or whatever. Or if she takes the time for herself then she feels guilty. So in my opinion most people shouldn't want kids. They're not a commodity, they are hard work. Which is why we need to stop pushing people to have kids they don't want. Unless someone wants a child and knows what is required to raise one, they should not have a child at all.

[@plant2188]

@@crazyowlgirlcncowner thank you for saying this

[@romacoco]

I always say this and my fiance doesn't agree. I definitely want kids but it's a huge commitment that never goes away until you die or they do. My parents have five children and one of us always has something, it's always something. A pregnancy, a job loss a kid that needs to be watched, it's exhausting and the youngest is almost 30.

[@coralline1984]

@@romacoco Even if they die you still have the emotional baggage.

[@lookingsubmissiveandbreeda1512]

@@crazyowlgirlcncowner It's more selfish to have a kid than to not.

[@strawberrysangria1474]

I love it when people say "your biological clock is ticking". I like to remind them that theirs is too and we're all going to die one day. We may not be speaking of the same clock, but we can all feel uncomfortable together!

[@beccangavin]

I’m definitely using this one the next time someone asks.

[@v1olante]

I love this. Thank you

[@updated_autopsy_report1]

I’m stealing this one thank you!

[@bb_ate]

I like you

[@LexolotlTheLegend]

Problem is, that literally everyone I meet finds it weird that I want to have kids! On one hand, I'm fine with others not wanting kids, but at least they should respect my choices too :/

[@fh9061]

Everytime I feel shitty about my life I think to myself "at least I'm not pregnant" and that makes me feel just a little bit better

[@SigmaFroid]

same 💀

[@Neoncaffine9915]

Lowkey same LMAO. Cuz in this economy you can’t have anything 😂

[@piercejones4355]

@@aizazafar9565everyone knows that it’s just thinking that their are situations worse than what you have

[@ayatotaylor6169]

​@@aizazafar9565that's kind of how reproduction works

[@xfreja]

real

[@jordan-tg6nx]

i've heard a lot of people say "well you'll be lonely without kids!" which always confused me because honestly if your primary reason for wanting children is to cure your own loneliness, you're probably not gonna be a great parent

[@norskibox1780]

That's the reason I was brought into this world. Can confirm, it sucks ass here 🖐

[@BZ-rr1wt]

Have you ever met an old lonely person? It's gut wrenching, they are invisible. The issue is not about the kids themselves. The issue is about the fact that people in the modern world will value career and material conditions more than connections. Which is a fantastic recipe for a disastrous old age.

[@MG-mq3zf]

@@BZ-rr1wt The point though is that you shouldn't just have a kid as some weird (and very expensive) "cure" to your own loneliness. That isn't fair to the kid as Norski Box has pointed out.

[@bluephacelia9003]

@@BZ-rr1wt the notion that you're gonna have kids and then they take care of you and visit you all the time when you're old, is ridiculous. Have you ever been to a nursing home? Visits are *rare*. Your children can't afford to take care of you, so nursing home it is. They got their own lives, so visiting you rarely it is. You're an adult. Build your own social circle, jesus christ.

[@bluephacelia9003]

@@BZ-rr1wt I don't value money nor career over "connections". Friendships ARE connections. And apparently your culture and country is different but people here in the West simply can't afford to take care of their parents full time. It's not feasible financially. You WILL end up in a nursing home whether you like it or not. Also, pregnancy and birth disgust me. I'd rather jump off a cliff than deal with this literal body horror. Worst nightmare. Come back and cry about women not having kids when you're the one pushing said kids out of your body.

[@mollyapteros]

I'm 32 and I've always known that I never wanted kids for a million different reasons. I was all set to have my tubes removed after a year on the waiting list when the pandemic hit. Before I was approved, the (female) doctor actually said, "Well even if your current husband supports this, what if he dies and your NEXT husband wants kids?" Like... a HYPOTHETICAL man had more rights over my own body than I did before I put up a fight.

[@LoreCatan]

Guess he's just gonna have to deal, doc, he knew what he was getting into. Like?? She'd assume you wouldn't talk to your non-existent future husband about not wanting kids?? You'd be in the same boat, married to someone who supports you not wanting to have kids.

[@lilomimi94]

I wish I could get my tubes removed but they dont let me because I am too young… I am in my late 20’s…wtf

[@mollyapteros]

@@lilomimi94 I was 29 when I got approved, but I also lived in the UK at the time and overall I think it's easier there than in the US. I also did research on tips to help convince doctors to sign off on it. There are whole reddit threads on how to find good doctors and what kinds of statements to bring. Fingers crossed it works out for us both eventually. :)

[@mollyapteros]

@Linda Les EXACTLY. After being dumbstruck for a few moments I said something like 'Well not wanting kids is my top priority for a partner anyways sooo that's irrelevant'.

[@lilomimi94]

@@mollyapteros thank you! Yes I Will check 😭

[@trinaq]

I really hate how in romantic comedies, a career woman is usually portrayed as "heartless" because she doesn't want to get married or have children. However, you can bet that by the end, she'll meet a guy who'll change her perspective on life. In real life, it's possible to have both family AND a career.

[@Chaos-om4oh]

TRUEEE!! I need people to wake and realize that both of those can be achieved!

[@lalitthapa101]

A career woman,man or whatever can have children,be married & still be heartless😂 Like marriage & children don't equate to someone being loving,compassionate etc

[@notevenemily]

this is soooooo true

[@anitalianorange8427]

EXACTLY

[@anushka6559]

Idk I feel like I can't do both ..I am gonna always feel like I did something wrong and didn't give my 100 percent . Edit: it also sounds kinda exhausting when I think about it tbh like Imagine you just come home from the work tired and you have to take care of a kid again or vice versa .

[@notsojolly6550]

My mom is super conservative and she once said “those delusional women who don’t want kids would soon grow up to regret never having one” she even believes having a family is the only way to be happy. I find it ironic because I can tell she is very much unhappy.

[@ohno7153]

don’t wanna pry too much but it sounds like she didn’t realize she had a choice til it was too late

[@themagicalllama8514]

My dad thinks a humans purpose is to only have kids so i guess i have no purpose 🤷🏿‍♀️.

[@justbinji7718]

My mom isn't conservative at all. But still, sometimes, says that too. And sometimes she says that people are free to have kids or not. She's still confused between what she believes and what my Grandparents taught her.

[@elasesino1508]

Your mom is right. If she seems unhappy do something to make your own mother happy. Cmon bro she birthed you. Do something nice for her.. buy her some flowers or write her a card telling here how much you appreciate her. She’d love that

[@dawnriddler]

Most parents are. Honestly, I have never met parents that are genuinely striving and absolutely happy about their life choices. Most got kids cause that was the right of passage, and that was it, hell most of them aren't even compatible and their relationship is boring af, but they just put up with each other, cause that's how life should be.

[@francesbritton]

" They're only a child for 18 years and then you're not responsible" Kicking them out the house at 18 and not caring for them after that sounds....selfish. Hmmm I smell hypocrisy!

[@pickle8533]

there was a whole segment in this video pointing out how you SHOULDN’T do that, so maybe you didn’t detect the sarcasm

[@francesbritton]

@@pickle8533 I know. I watched the video. I'm literally criticizing parents who do that.

[@pickle8533]

@@francesbritton ohhh okay sorry for the confusion

[@francesbritton]

@@pickle8533 I appreciate that. Have a nice day.

[@excusemeifimstupid5910]

No shit, I’m 18 now and I still feel like I need my mom to hold my baby hand

[@ohwormalyssa]

I hate how choosing to not want kids is considered "selfish" because at the end of the day what is that taking away from their life?! literally nothing because they aren't the ones who are responsible for the kid 24/7, they're barely gunna see it

[@ya_done]

"Selfish" argument is propably made, to make You feel bad for your decision. Maybe they are jealous they didn't choose like You, who knows.🤭 Do You!

[@mmcii4]

@@ya_done speak English-what's your point???

[@panda-yr6ul]

@@mmcii4 they're agreeing with the original comment, saying that the "you're selfish" argument is made to make other people feel guilty that they chose not to have a child, basically. Then they said to just "do you" and not care about what other people think

[@Monicalia]

Agree. And how is that selfish, when you have mothers who get pregnant only to take advantage of the child to get child benefits, win money through peagants or get a job, then get pregnant just to live on maternity pay, etc. These women are selfish, not those who know that they wouldn't be a good mother, wouldnt make the kid happy so they don't bring into the world. They actually care more about the life of the non-existent child than mothers who have few of them and abuse them for their own benefits.

[@dhsf5937]

It's considered selfish because if you can't live and make sacrificies for a kid because you are only thinking about yourself means that you aren't able to love another human being deeply.

[@thgritic102]

I literally got sterilized because I really don't want any children and hated the concept of being able to hold a fetus in me. Hated my reproduction organs when I started my period, so taking out the tubes at least gives me some breathing room an egg won't be traveling through me anymore. After that scenery, I really hate how society holds women up to being a mother, but a guy isn't held the same way even if he was a father. He gets praises for doing the bare minimum, but he also can step out of his family's life, and people would treat it like it's a normal "man" behavior. Let a mother walk out of her child's life, and people would demand her head on a pike by dawn.

[@boombayuna536]

i agree with you so much and i wish i could do the same. but i haven't found someone who would do it yet. and that makes me extremely angry tbh. all the "professionals" i talked to refused to and said "you're too young, we don't do that with women your age" like??? it's my body and i know that i don't want to go through pregnancy and get a child. i'm 23 btw.

[@justbinji7718]

Ngl, getting sterilised is a big decision. It tills how much you don't want to have kids. I understand some of your points, my mom was raised to believe that women's main purpose is to reproduce, even though my Grandparents didn't push that, but the family and relative atmosphere gave me this idea. She never told me that I should have kids since I'm a guy. No matter how many times they explain why, it never makes sense. I won't say that I completely understand your view of the "man vs women walking out of their kids". Since I only see that when it is meant as a joke. But I understand how some, or most, societies, hold women up to be mothers or see mothers in a different way than they see fathers. Aka double standards. I see this more in cases of abuse. If the father is the abuser, people would say " why didn't the mother protect the kids" or "meh, she's the one who chose that man".

[@thgritic102]

@@boombayuna536 Dangit! My comment about where to get sterilized got deleted! It's bes to just Google it because I'm sure the place I found out where will show up.

[@thgritic102]

@@justbinji7718 I'm not sure where you are, but here in the US, there's literally stats everywhere showing how mothers will do the majority of the work to the point if guys do it, they claim themselves (or others say it for them) they are "babysitting" their child when it's just doing what they should be doing. Even social media runs with this gag over and over again like there aren't decent fathers out there. That's why on the childfree side of things, women are the most there because parenting falls on us. The few outliers are just outliers being told to be parents, but when it comes to if a kid hurts themselves, the mother is blamed first even when she's not around.

[@boombayuna536]

@@thgritic102 oh and i thought something was wrong with my youtube because i saw that you answered but couldn't read what you wrote. thanks for telling me. i'm not from the us but i won't give up on looking for places,

[@charlirogers6235]

My husband and I get, "Who's going to take care of you when you're old?". First of all, do you know how many of our neighbors just disappear because their adult kids need money and just pack up their parents and put them in a home so they can sell their house. Seriously, one day I'm like where are Mr. and Mrs. Wilson, and the next day their house is up for sale. So, there is no guarantee that your kids are going to take good care of you when you're old. Secondly, we're 40 with no kids, we can save money and invest without any dependents. Who's going to take care of us when we're old? A very well paid home attendent...in our own home. Or we can spend our golden years living on a cruise ship (heard that's a thing), or RV-ing across the country, or buy a tiny house and move to Greenland, or buy all the drugs get a cabin in woods and go out in a blaze of glory. The point is, we can do anything we want, everyday, till we die, cuz we are beholden to no one. We don't have to sacrifice, or set an example, or leave behind a legacy, or set money aside for the million emergencies that arise when you have children. Everyone should really take the time to reflect and see if you want children because you truly want to be a parent or because its just what adults are supposed to do.

[@MienMaotcha]

Deserves more likes imo

[@nuwanda6822]

LOUDER FOR PEOPLE IN THE BACK

[@justlurkin5411]

damn that sounds like an awesome life.

[@Drake00000010]

Nothing is stopping someone with kids from having all those things. Most kids are going to leave by the age of 18.

[@KateeAngel]

@@Drake00000010 no, they don't. Not nowadays. Most people are dependent on their parents at least until they get a bachelor's degree, at 21-22

[@goaheadquoteme]

As someone with their tubes tied, any time someone says “but what if you ChAnGe YoUr MINd”, I just respond “then I’ll adopt.” it’s honestly hilarious to see how flustered they get because there’s really no argument against adoption (that doesn’t make you sound like a jerk anyway)

[@jbstarkiller4626]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@werenotgeniusesD1437]

the reply i ALWAYS get is "bUt YoU wOnT hAvE tHe SaMe ConNeCtIOn tO yOuR cHiLd if YOu hAd bIRthed TheM yOuRself" like????? its a child. whats the difference? LMFAO

[@jbstarkiller4626]

@@werenotgeniusesD1437 The difference is that it’s not your child, it’s someone else’s child. It’s true you won’t have the same connection but that’s an understatement, the love a mother has for her own flesh and blood and for a biological stranger are not comparable.

[@luckybat7137]

@@jbstarkiller4626 That's incredibly *cruel* to admit that'd you would love a child *less* because they're not your own. How selfish of you. I hope you grow a heart one day you miserable piece of garbage.

[@itiswhatitismindset]

@@jbstarkiller4626 if you can't seem to treat a child YOU adopted and took the responsibility well then you might just be an asshole. im sure a lot of people who have adopted love their children very well. if they wouldn't then they wouldn't adopt

[@Octoberfurst]

Don't worry about not wanting kids. I am 63 and childless by choice and I have ZERO regrets.I was never a "kid person". I like kids--but I can only be around them for so long and then I want them to go away. I know I would not be happy as a parent. Call me selfish or whatever but it is what it is. I have had a great life! I have traveled, have a nice home and money in the bank. When I come home from work I have dinner, chill and watch KZbin videos. I can't imagine taking care of kids or spending my weekends watching my kid play little league or soccer. It would bore me to tears. So I am happy being childless!

[@molekyyli]

Thanks for the testimony. If you say, you don't want kids and you're 20 or less, they say, wait till you're in your 30's. If you're 30+, they say you will regret when you're 45+. I'm 36 and don't want kids. Never wanted, since I was about 10 or so. And unlike you, I don't even like kids. I used to be very miserable/uncomfortable in their presence (afraid they're gonna want my attention), now I'm less intimidated but no way close to want to interact with them. I don't hate them or anything, I just wanna stay away, no interaction, no touching.

[@MSBowen-pk6ww]

I agree I am 42 and once I finally let go of hte societial pressures I found out that I could be single and happy! I don't think it's fair to keep bringing up this stuff with women you don't know. I have PCOS and Endometriosis which means i am not fertil. It hurts when they keep saying "A woman cannot be fulffilled without babies" me...................... Seriously I am happy until you bring it up! HELLO! For along time IT hoguht I had to do it to be happy but as I started to hate myself I called myself a loser was realy cruel at times. BUT THen God helped me to realize there was nothing wrong with being single and childless. I went thru sexual abuse as a kid I litterally get sick at hte idea of dating. I can't handle it I tried! So I had to find a way to walk away from all the pressure. I just wish people would lay off on women.

[@realdragon]

My sister have 2 children, when I look at them and hold them I feel nothing. They're not cute to me, I don't feel any connection or need to protect them or anything. Now imagine if I had a child, I would be just awful parent

[@bakageyama222]

You give me hope, thank you so much. I hope you have a good day/night

[@samanthacallaway2276]

I’m 25! Me and my fiancé get that biological “make child” hormone every once an awhile. Then ultimately (as always) say “hell no”. Genetically we’re hot messes. On top of that our mental health is always hanging on by a thread. To finish it off, who can afford it anymore? Personally for us, we just don’t feel it’d be fair or right to bring a kid into this environment. Between us more than likely not being able to provide the emotional stability a child needs and seeing what happens when those needs aren’t met. Added to the fact their QoL will be hit and miss from genetics alone? Nah, we’re gonna pass. Maybe adopt one day, maybe. But animals for us!

[@chocolattefeverdreams4228]

Reasons why I don't want kids: 1. I'm asexual, the sex-repulsed type. 2. I like kids when they're from other people. 3. I don't owe anyone kids. 4. I don't want to go through pregnancy. 5. I'd rather have a cat. 6. I want to support my existing family- parents and my sister. 7. I want to travel the world with my best friend or my partner if I find one. 8. With the money I never used to spend on my non-existent kid I can buy an entire library. 9. I won't have to worry about swearing in front of the kid. 10. My generational trauma ends with me. 11. I'm not patient enough for a kid. 12. The world is overpopulated anyway and there's a lot of pollution.

[@hoff7786]

not that i disagree with you, but the world is actually not suffering overpopulation. we are actually going into a crisis of rapidly losing population as only a dozen countries are having enough kids to sustain the replacement level and the number of those countries is lowering as they develop.

[@thenyan3095]

That 5th point though Same bestie ‼‼‼‼‼‼

[@IATEALLTHECHEESE]

​@@hoff7786that's good though. We need to go down, means more resources, less poverty, better economy, etc.

[@animeluver22113]

​@@hoff7786when I was born there were 5B (nearly 6B) people and now there's 8B.. I think we are populating like mice 😅

[@thenyan3095]

@gondar6181 pretty cringe comment I’m replying to 😬

[@trinaq]

Yes, preach! Some people simply don't want to have children, and that's perfectly fine. It's an option, not a mandatory requirement, and a double standard for men to not be asked as often as women when they plan on having children.

[@lalitthapa101]

At the end of the day,people really should be caring about their lives and not about whether their Neighbour wants a kid or not.

[@dullfairie]

exactly and there’s 7 billion people that live on this planet, if you want kids you can easily find someone that wants the same things you do so I don’t understand why some people complain / find it weird when some people don’t wanna have kids

[@alicequeenofmadness9995]

@@dullfairie This!

[@princevegeta8126]

I don't want to discredit any of your points because you're right but oh my I really wish you could meet my mother. I'm a 27 year old guy and she wants to know when I'll have a kid. All I can say is, "when I can afford it".. I'm not against kids nor other peoples choices towards the matter but with everything on the rise it just seems harder to give a child a fraction of the things I was given as a kid.

[@chiaraimpeduglia1308]

@@princevegeta8126 That's a great mindset to have! And you are right about wanting to give your possible future kids the same things that you were given if you can!

[@nadjav8304]

a quote of mine is "kids are cute as long as they're not your's"

[@plant2188]

Yes!! This is exactly me

[@user-s0m30n3]

I agree sm. I love my nieces and nephews, they’re so cute, but I can just pass them back to their parents at the end of the day, or whenever they get too overwhelming lmao

[@leandrog2785]

But ironically, in the literal sense it's actually the opposite. Parents always find their own children much cuter. Even women who never felt like they had a choice.

[@justsoul815]

I hate kids regardless of who their parents are lol

[@Kriliska]

I've never found a baby cute, they creep me out.

[@ozge8262]

having a child or being pregnant with one are my biggest fears tbh. i would never be able to put up with a child for that long let alone having something live inside my body for 9 months. that sounds like body horror to me. this is one of the things i'll never be able to understand.

[@boombayuna536]

same

[@moonykitty1]

YES YES this- I get so anxious over the idea of something growing inside of me.When people express how beautiful that progress is like yeah I get it, it is fascinating how our bodies can do that.

[@At0mic_Asteroid]

I’m so glad I’m not the only one-

[@Carab0ss-y6q]

to some, being pregnant and creating life inside you is a wonder, but to me it's my worst nightmare. I never want to imagine having something grow inside of me for 9 months, making me sick, bloated and stressed, it sounds like a horror movie.

[@VenusManTrap-777]

True, I got tokophobia lmao

[@ksis86]

Im 25, and a new mom, i LOVE being a mommy but i 100% understand why people would never want to do it. The way your body, emotions, relationships, & schedules change for the long run (sometimes permanently) is pretty major and no one should go through it unless they are super certain they want to. Personally i think less people should be having kids anyway so the more childfree people out there the better lol

[@枒]

aw congratulations :)

[@orchid8235]

Congrats! ^^

[@MSBowen-pk6ww]

Congrats. I hope you will enjoy the time with your baby.

[@bakageyama222]

Exactly, if more people were accepting like you 😭 Also congratulations

[@IATEALLTHECHEESE]

I'm 17 tomorrow and my sister has two children. I love them (13 & 1 yrs) to death but being autistic I couldn't deal with them for over two to three days without being exhausted, overstimulated and irritated. I also have inherited things like a short temper from my own mum which I don't want my kids to be a victim of. Plus pregnancy and giving birth is my biggest phobia, and I have endometriosis, which my other sister is going through and she's actively been trying for a baby for a few years because of it, and has spent thousands on treatment and surgery. Save to say, I don't want kids. If I somehow change my mind, I'd love to adopt. Congratulations on your child!

[@-heart.eyes.for.guys-]

My mom always said “what’s the point of getting married if your not going to have kids? The marriage is pointless then.” The point of marriage isn’t about kids it’s about loving each other and committing your life to someone. If both of you don’t want kids than the marriage would be healthier I think. You have more money for vacations together, trips, clothes, a house, time, and just things you want and all you have to worry about is family, friends, your partner, your job, and bills. It’s a great and relaxing life.

[@VideosForYou90]

Exactly! I know so many married couples who don't have kids and they chose to marry because they want to spend the rest of their lives loving each other. Same goes for me, I want to marry later but I know that I don't want to have kids and that's fine.

[@0XBlondie96X0]

I'd like for your mom to try and tell that to infertile married couples especially. Like guess their marriage means nothing just because of a biological issue they can't help.

[@hihowareya6861]

Omg me too- my mother told me the exact same thing

[@seabreeze4559]

no legally you get tax breaks on the assumption you make future taxpayers

[@ameliasellers6396]

I think a marriage can be healthy even if both people want kids, but I also think that if two people have agreed on not wanting kids and still get married to show their love for each other, then why would anyone scorn them for that?

[@Anyonia]

The amount of times I’ve heard from near strangers questioning my decisions, or saying that I’ll ‘change my mind’ or ‘still have time’ is infuriating. I almost started a fight with my younger brother when he kept pushing the ‘changing your mind’ bs when I said I’d love to have an hysterectomy if I could. I’m turning 32 in two weeks, and I’ve known since I was in my 20’s that I don’t plan to have bio kids bc I don’t ever want to be pregnant.

[@Turquerina]

That's a very smart and practical decision if you live in the United States, knowing how the trajectory are the way they are right now. And plus, childbirth is painful and that's not even getting into miscarriages (which can be punished in some places now) and ectopic pregnancies...

[@Anyonia]

@@Turquerina I’m Swedish, so thankfully I don’t personally have to worry about it all, but I worry for my friends in the States. It’s scary knowing that their rights are being taken away when I live in a country that offers so much in comparison(while still having plenty of issues ofc). I could tie my tubes, but it’s a year long waitlist and I’m not in a relationship so I can’t be bothered atm, an hysterectomy is sadly only performed due to illness here rather than choice if I’ve understood it correctly.

[@kristinepinlac2796]

I'm 20 right now and I've known for years that I don't want to have kids. I want to have my tubes ligated but I know there's a pretty slim chance of that ever happening because I'm "too young to know"

[@theartsypanda4439]

I don’t blame you. Hell I had a similar experience telling everyone that me and my fiancé wanted kids soon(I wanted my first before I turned 20). Everyone told me I should wait because “I have my whole life ahead of me” and “there’s so much I’ll miss or wish I could do.” And now that I’ve had my kid it’s always “you should’ve waited.”🙄 trust me it doesn’t matter what you do, people will say what they want. Just do what makes you happy, screw everyone else’s opinions.

[@The_Super_NOVA]

I feel you. The audacity of strangers is incredible sometimes

[@CsySnw]

I don't want to have kids because 1. The world's fucked up 2. I don't want them to have the same generational trauma as me 3. I just KNOW I'm gonna be a shit parent 💀

[@CsySnw]

@Bardenbella120 Exactly. Like imagine being told that your valid reason for not having a child is selfish, whereas you have parents who decided to have a kid just because they wanted a "Mini me" 🤡

[@pran7063]

People who don't even want kids or know damn well that they are going to be shit parents still having children is one of the main reason the world is so fucked up

[@philgamer5280]

I'd say #1 isn't really valid. The world's always been fucked up. History is full of horrible eras or moments in time. But the other 2 are definitely spot on.

[@buuqioyluvsizumireina]

I agree I don’t wanna be my kinda shitty parents

[@JaneDoe-cz5oe]

Yeah, I'd probably turn out like my dad never giving any punishments. Still better than my crack hoe mom but not really the ideal parent I would want to be.

[@nubiannile4606]

Not having children is not selfish its self awareness. Women have been mentally conditioned as well as pressured/guilt tripped from generation to generation by society as well as our families. What is really selfish is having children and not giving them the love, care, protecton they need and deserve.

[@clare2439]

agreed.

[@DarkZerol]

Being a parent is a huge responsibility and a huge decision in life, you can't simply abandon being a parent after having a child, it's not a phase. This is exactly one of the prime reason why so many parents choose to just abandon their kids thus subsequently fail at parenting.

[@KatieKiki1111]

Also I couldn't bring a kid into this world knowing that they would suffer and feel emotional and physical pain in life. I couldn't bring a kid into the world knowing full well how fucked up this world is like I don't want to intentionally bring a child into their environment. I suffer with depression and anxiety and I don't want to bring a child into the world and see them potentially struggle with their mental health like me that would break my heart.

[@Truong62809]

@@DarkZerolthis is why many young people chose not to have kids

[@joebaumgart1146]

It's more heartless to have kids you don't want or can't afford.

[@justbinji7718]

I won't say "heartless", but completely unwise.

[@Lil_Tweeter]

Facts

[@mariyastoyanova31]

@An oven couldn't have said it better myself!!

[@kdjoshi726]

It is actually selfish to have kids. You're basically bringing in a life in sucha shitty world for your own happiness

[@charcoal8]

I'm disabled and have fertility issues and still treated like I'm selfish for not having kids 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@monii7461]

Same...like i literally told them i can't have kids and they are like: Oh surely there's a way 😀Hahaha no

[@monikaradzaj7407]

Same! :(

[@LoliLikesPedobear]

That’s actually fucked up. And if you die, or your kid is severely ill, you’ll be blamed for rolling roulette all the same. We need less babies, but of quality and raised in love. Housing dystopia doesn’t help it one bit too. Maybe after at least half of boomers relive us from their presence in this world and monetary drain on support for them, there will be place and resources for plenty children

[@mataviaharrison553]

Same

[@Google_remote]

literally everyone wants to have a word to the person that said that to you

[@bunnyshy]

I've known for a long time that I didn't ever wanna get pregnant- maybe I'd consider adopting but pregnancy is absolutely out of the question for me. It baffles me how so many people feel the need to say "you'll change your mind" or "it's better if the kid is your own" as if it matters. I have to explain to them that family is love, not blood.

[@anotherstranger1273]

Preach! Couldn't have agreed more

[@ameliasellers6396]

This 100%. I absolutely love kids and I think they're great, and I will want one when I am older, but the idea of getting pregnant, especially in the country I am in (thanks Supreme court) is terrifying. Adoption is a long and hard process but it's worth it.

[@ravenwolfkittyface1802]

It’s also strange that people are so blasé about the possibility of having something *grow inside your body* for nine months, then having to experience childbirth, which has the possibility of permanently disabling you. Like… no, that’s a big deal, actually. It shouldn’t be expected of women just because they’re women.

[@tylajo.moonflower]

Same here, pregnancy scares me. I would like to have kids someday, although the points in the videos makes me consider if I’d be a good parent. If I do have kids I don’t want to have any biologically unless it’s a last resort. I don’t think I could handle the pain of childbirth.

[@whatever5401]

I've known since I was a toddler that I would never want to be pregnant. When I'm old enough, I'm definitely getting sterilized for sure. I find it so ironic how the people who call childfree women "selfish" are the same people who would also be against adoption because "you'll love it more if it's your own blood". Like imagine being so narcissistic that you can only love someone if that person was birthed by you

[@synsvids]

As a 15 year old, I've had my heart set out on adopting since I was 8 and first started hearing about how bad my mom's and my grandmother's pregnancies were. Since then, I'm considering just not ever having kids, and can't wait to get these useless parts removed. I'm also considering surrogacy (having someone else carry the thing not me).

[@therealjadecat101]

Personally I agree, adopting sounds wonderful and I wouldn't mind doing it. Had my heart set on it too when I was around 14-15.

[@JustanotherYoutuber771]

I briefly considered surrogacy once but it’s a no from me. Imagine having the kids be born and they’d have to live with knowing you didn’t want/love them enough to go through pregnancy and childbirth yourself. As I’m not willing to go through that I’ll just choose not to have any children who weren’t important enough for me to do it regardless.

[@bakageyama222]

@@JustanotherKZbinr771chill dude, just because a women doesn’t want to go through the pains of pregnancy doesn’t mean they don’t love their surrogate or adopted children as much as biological ones. Wtf is wrong with you? No woman owes pain and pregnancy to showcase her love to her kids. Pregnancy ≠ love.

[@chickensalad3535]

I’m planning on surrogacy too, but I want to use my eggs.

[@therealjadecat101]

@@JustanotherKZbinr771 I would like to kindly point out that there are children who get neglected/abused by their bio mothers i.e the mothers who birthed their kid and hate them regardless. Imo it's better to be adopted knowing you're wanted as opposed to being birthed knowing you're hated. Not that all mothers are abusers but just letting ya know

[@duskianfae]

This whole video is just a MOOD. I have siblings that are *way* younger than me (I'm in my mid 20s and the oldest of them just turned 13) and honestly, watching all the shit my stepmom has to do for them the whole day is exhausting. I try to help the way I can (after all, it's the least I can do for still living with them), but she still rarely has a moment to just stop and relax by herself. It's always a dentist, a doctor's visit, a school reunion, groceries, cooking, a birthday they were invited to, clothes that need replacing, misbehavior that needs disciplining... Like, damn. Call me selfish all you want, but I don't think I have the mental fortitude to deal with any of this. Plus, let's be real, the idea that "we are incomplete without a child" is a deeply heteronormative social construct that simply does not true for everyone anyway, so if my father truly wants grandchildren so badly, he will have to wait for my siblings to grow up cuz I ain't a part of that.

[@LoreCatan]

I am in a similar boat, I'm older than my sibling by 11 years, I've been there to see the entire process my mom had to undertake. The pains of pregnancy, a C-section, the first months of being born, when the baby learns to make sounds and that's all they do for hours on end, when the child stops listening to you because they think it's funny, when they discover the internet and ditch all their toys and begs you to buy them Minecraft with all it's mods and install roblox, like- I've fucking seen it all. I'm 18 now, my brother is 7, and I love him so much, but when he laughs at his own fart jokes all I think is "I swear nothing can convince me to have a child". There's no amount of money that would make it worth it for me.

[@ghostlyhousehorrors]

Same thing, live with parents so gotta help out anyway I can. So kinda similar, except i got one sibling (twin) whose deaf and autistic and boy does it takes a magnitude of patience with her. We love her but it's a lot of work. The worst is her frequent meltdowns and constant repetition, both are characteristics common in autism. My sibling constantly questions if someone is talking about her or mad at her (autism also affect how some read social interactions and awareness) so she is prone to getting upset everyday no matter how many time we tell her "no, we're not mad." and "we're not saying anything bad about you." my mom got multiple health problems and she tries her best in being patient but my sibling is a lot a stress to take care of and I think it made mom's health worse with that stress. I swear I have to defuse my sibling's meltdowns and drag her away (not physically) from our mom so she can have time cool off so she doesn't have a meltdown herself. Also english not being my mom's first language and her not technically savvy, I also have to assist my family in contact and navigate health and education services, as well as disability services. I love my sister and while it was not my parents intention I already feel like my sister's third parent sometimes. The whole thing pushed me into not wanting kids, I already kinda did it, I saw how hard and stress full it is, and I forget to take my meds all the time, what if I forgot to feed a baby? So, yeah no thanks.

[@thisishowitallends9321]

It’s more of the governmental agenda that they successfully made “societal”. More people = more taxes & workers. All the moral bs they try to brainwash people to with only work on pro life dummies. No support, no maternity leave, no free education or even health care. They give nothing in return. Simple enough.

[@jnetwork3232]

Selfish is correct word to describe you

[@neom0on]

@@jnetwork3232 nah they just know what they’re capable of and what they’re not. by your logic it is just as selfish, actually more selfish, to *want* kids as those who have them do for their enjoyment and fulfilment, some say so they have someone who can look after them when they’re older, some want children because their friends have them, etc. obviously I don’t think there’s anything wrong with having kids though, but anyways.

[@CinemalecularFilms]

Full disclosure, I'm a parent, but I 100% agree! Both sets of parents/in-laws started pressuring us to have kids in our mid-to-late late 20's and we were like...NOPE...we decided exactly when we were ready and having friends who were "reference parents" for us helped validate our choice...key word...CHOICE. We understand not everyone will get the luxury of that choice, but we certainly wish that upon as many people as possible because, yeah...children are hard, but they would have been considerably harder had we not built up our support network and ability to afford support-network augmentation. You go, Emily...keep educating!

[@noorahf]

Well said! ❤️

[@leandrog2785]

I'm curious, what does "ability to afford support-network augmentation" means?

[@CinemalecularFilms]

@@leandrog2785 ...It means that in addition to the dozens of family members, friends, and neighbors that I could leave my kids with (for free) on a moment's notice, we can also afford to pay for things like after school care, extracurriculars (when they're older), paid child care, or even a live-in nanny, if it came down to it. Again, we can afford it, although we don't usually need to pay for child care due to the choices we were able to make, decades of cultivating relationships, and pure luck.

[@otakumangastudios3617]

I wouldn’t say hard, but a challenge. Having children and raising them are hard, but it takes an immense amount of skill and emotional stability as well as financial stability, that only some of us are granted with

[@BeingHumane173]

Women don't owe this world or anyone any kid/kids, no matter what. Motherhood is not an obligation. Its just a choice. Don't let the patriarchy tell you otherwise. Stay Strong Sis ! And thanks a lot for this great video.

[@Rottengoal]

its not only women many of the men I know dont ever plan to have kids or marry. The steady population decline in developed countries is not because only women dont want to have kids, its because an increasing amount of men and women dont want to have kids anymore or dont feel like they have enough money and recources to start a family.

[@MntwuKtty]

A shit ton of people out there​@@Agent-57

[@SizzlingSocks]

​@@Agent-57 agent p?

[@ricaboo9304]

DUDEEE I remember one time that the near end of my uncles prayer he randomly said "Your all gonna be good mothers one day" I WAS AN 11YR OLD GIRL THERE WAS ANOTHER 11YR OLD GIRL THERE WAS A 6YR OLD GIRL ALONG WITH MY 17+ COUSIN AND SISTER, I still cannot believe the audacity to say that to a 6 YEAR OLD. Everytime he visits I cannot IMAGINE him the same.

[@TheAkwarium]

"the patriarchy" you don't live in a patriarchy you like in America

[@captainkacke1651]

I personally think the argument 'you are selfish for not wanting kids' can be turned right around at the person who said it: 'i think you are selfish for wanting kids'. In an overpopulated world where many people don't have enough food or water and we destroy everything with climate change, the "reasonable" choice would be to decide against bringing new life into this world and therefore everyone who still does is being selfish. I don't mean to spark discussions or make people angry, I honestly just wanted to point out how senseless the selfish-argument is.

[@xtinkerbellax3]

Yea, not to mention a lot of people do not do the work on themselves needed to be a good parent, working through trauma from their own childhoods, unlearning negative coping mechanisms, or other issues that will inevitably impact how the are as parents. How is that not selfish?

[@captainkacke1651]

@@xtinkerbellax3 I couldn't have said it better myself

[@justbinji7718]

I don't really concern myself with overpopulation and stuff like that. But I truly believe that it never selfish not to want kids. Since when saying "I don't want this" "I don't want that" is considered selfish?

[@peachbooks3199]

ikr?? what's selfish is actually having kids 😂 we're not in middle ages time or Adam and Eve times where we gotta populate the earth no matter what!!1! fact is, the earth is overpopulated!! there's not enough resources going around for everyone, we're doing humanity A FAVOR by not having kids.esp if we have mental, health or financial problem. usually people that say these things have agenda like 'spreading religion' or 'dna/last name', bcs why else would it be 'selfish'?

[@keribere244]

It would be selfish, in my opinion, for me to HAVE kids. I have a few health issues, and mental health issues run in my family (especially depression) so I don’t really want my kids to go through those at my fault. I might adopt in the future if I end up with someone who wants kids, or if I change my mind but I do not plan on going through a pregnancy any time soon. My mom does have PCOS and had fertility issues and issues with her pregnancy so I don’t know wether or not I would have a similar experience anyways.

[@forgettablecommenter5616]

As an asexual person, thank you so much for making this video. There are tons of reasons why people don't want kids, and ALL ARE VALID. For me, it's not only the 'raising a child' part that scares me, but also the 'process of making a child' that I'm /really/ not interested in. Yet still, the people around me always say things like, "when you have children in the future..." It's concerning that it's not an /if/, but a /when/. Why not just let people make these decisions for themselves? It's not like the human population needs to get any bigger 💀 edit: yesss ace solidarity :D 🖤🤍💜

[@simpforchoijisu.3234]

"It's not like the human population needs to get any bigger" I CHUCKLED--- anyways SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK LOL

[@celestialkoala3164]

@@simpforchoijisu.3234📣 IT'S NOT LIKE THE HUMAN POPULATION NEED TO GET ANY BIGGER!!📣

[@aanya5346]

An ace here, I don't want to marry let alone have kids...

[@Leriehane]

Fellow ace and I agree completely. My parents now seem a little "resigned" over the fact that I will never have children (or a relationship). We work together and sometimes I hear people say to my mother "oh, well in the future WHEN she has a husband" and I'm like "what if I just----don't?????"

[@Synnemoroll]

Fellow asexual here, I completely relate to that. My parents keep pressuring me to get married and "give them grandchildren" and when I say I won't, they tell me I will "change my mind". It's really annoying when people just can't accept our decisions and still act like everyone is obligated to have children for whatever reason

[@Wolf_Avatar]

"You can't really tell if you do a good job or not until they grow up..." is one of the biggest reasons for me to not have kids. While worrying that you child will get hurt is a big fear for a lot of parents, my greatest fear is that my child would be the one doing the hurting.

[@milaaswrld9514]

Factssss

[@norahroselle]

Exactlyyy

[@milaaswrld9514]

@@norahroselle scaryyy

[@Yesihaveideas]

nah you can definitely tell before then lmao

[@jullianaangelialivio9148]

THISSS literally one of my biggest reasons for not wanting kids is the possibility of me hurting them

[@joannadevis6096]

I love it how not wanting kids is selfish, but at the same time people say things like "who will take care of you when you are old?" Isn't that selfish...

[@ozaninal]

"there are no bloopers, I didn't mess up" is the state of mind I would like to reach one day

[@hysminai7397]

1. I don't like kids 2. I don't want to be pregnant 3. Oh and the planet doesn't really need more people.

[@randomcat1962]

4. Cats are better

[@nimuehawk]

Thankfully past that phase of my life but yes never wanted kids and the planet doesn’t need more humans Cats are great!

[@JasmineAntelope241]

Agreeeeed. 👋

[@yoyokanamihue6183]

Reason 3 sucks. Try again. If you drove around CA you’d see nothing but land sooooo, you’re wrong.

[@hysminai7397]

@@yoyokanamihue6183 if you mean California it doesn't even have enough fresh water to sustain its current population

[@steponmemelissa9688]

I'm still only sixteen but I've grown up with people always telling me 'oh, you'll change your mind' when I say I don't want kids. My mom's a bit more chill about it at least but dad really wants me to have kids. It's like, no thank you, I'm content with having four cats and all of my characters as my children. Thanks for the video, it only really solidified my viewpoint.

[@T_Cup]

I can't speak for your dad personally, but I do think it's telling how so many dads pressure their daughters into having kids when dads typically do the least amount of work when it comes to raising children. Like yeah of course they don't get how hard it is, since they quite often don't contribute even half as much to their own kid's existence as several family members and their wife's friends. No shade to your dad specifically though.

[@0fficialselena__90]

@@T_Cup yeah the woman always dies everything and the man can't even fo the bare minimum and many men leave woman when she has a child

[@clara.n5133]

My dad who failed to raise me and my siblings wants us to date, have kids and bring them to him 🤡🤡

[@T_Cup]

@@clara.n5133 This is exactly what I mean.

[@fuckyouwhoevertookmyname]

I find it funny that whenever girls say "oh maybe I'll get a boyfriend or something in the future" parents are like "you're too young to think about that, focus on your studies first" but when they say that they don't plan on having kids, parents immediately freak out and say "no you'll change your mind" Too young to think about having a partner in the future but old enough to think about having kids in the future??? weird. Not that wanting kids later on in life is bad, but wanting a relationship isn't bad either. it honestly just shows the weird protectiveness some parents have over their daughters 😐

[@mentosmariel]

I was living in Japan and having a conversation with a male coworker and we were talking about families. I told him I don’t plan on having children and he could not fathom the idea of it and told me it was such a waste of my body.

[@boombayuna536]

what an idiot, don't listen to him. "waste of my body" - woah who does he think he is? women are humans with their own wishes, dreams and life goals - and not walking incubators.

[@platypus2141]

Mediocre dudes be like

[@passionate_possum_pal]

Ew that's,, like a really gross thing to say

[@stellaphillips9501]

Ew that’s so weird

[@iheartart0827]

i would've told him, "you're gross and not worth breeding with."

[@claireelizabeth9431]

It's so funny how some men will shame women who work for "putting their career over their family" as if humans aren't capable of doing/ prioritizing both. Like buddy, just because YOU can't handle it, doesn't mean that no-one else can. Besides, if you want to be a father and think that simply going to work and providing is enough because taking care of the kids is your wife's job, then you don't have any business having kids. Kids need love and attention from BOTH parents.

[@boombayuna536]

this comment >>> (sounds like my dad btw yikes)

[@Strawre]

Society shamed women no matter what they do.

[@iheartart0827]

LOUDERRRRRR

[@LivVirtual]

and then stay-at-home-fathers are shamed for...not putting a career over their family? like wtheck 😭like i think it's easier on both parents if their work is divided between them, and if they choose to divide it so that one has a job outside and one has a job at home, then as long as they're both satisfied with the arrangement no one should be judging them. but the thing is that SO MANY women work at home AND outside of it, and then their husbands think its enough to just work outside...like no, you're still supposed to be a parent. tend to your children smh

[@zakeernalir2871]

As far as I know you speak two languages. English and facts .

[@bellebonebag8096]

My mom calls me selfish for not giving her grandkids. I call her selfish for getting pregnant from some random guy, and forcing me and my brother to navigate a horrible childhood full of poverty, illness, homelessness, and starvation without a father 🤷🏻

[@violet18]

How did she respond to that?

[@GingerSadClaps69]

Me fr

[@bellebonebag8096]

Negatively, as you can imagine. She loves criticizing other people, but can't handle being criticized herself @@violet18

[@dearestwhispers]

You ate

[@melodystarlight7933]

Dang. Yeah your mom’s a piece of work

[@baka_yu9343]

I'm over 30 and the amount of times I told people that ask when I'll have kids I don't want them and are then dismissive of my answer is astounding. "I don't want children. I don't even have a partner, but even if I did, I don't want them." "You'll change your mind with the right man." "If he cannot live without children of his own, he's not the right man." And the sheer shock after that. I've had this conversation so. many. times. I can recite it like this without needing to pause to remember it. Thank you for speaking out about this. I'm not american, but to all of you that are: I hope you'll be okay and that things can get better again. Fuck those people that think they can decide for others what happens to their bodies. Fuck them for trying to make women baby machines for the rich instead of caring for the children already needing help. Fuck them for making it impossible for so many that genuinely want to help the already existing children in need of a home to get that. Just. Fuck them. You deserve better.

[@peedrinker5000]

Just bring up adoption when they say that.

[@Sona77.]

Thank you 💕 I don’t want kids or a partner.

[@paradoxtatorstudios9681]

Say it louder. I already know I don't want kids, I don't want a partner, props to the people that do be parents, and do parenting right, but I don't need or want that mess in my life. And if I ever, someday, change my mind and want kids, I'll just adopt, because then I could help a kid who needs it and change their life instead of bringing in another one.

[@TheAppleNinja1]

All through my youth people told me "you'll change your mind when you get older". If anything, I've become more cemented in not having kids. I'm 30 now and people still warn me to think about it "before it's to late". Like, bro if it hasn't happened yet it ain't happening.

[@randomcat1962]

People need to mind their own business

[@jacquiemarykay2494]

I heard that too. I'm 59. Definitely older. Still have no desire for kids & don't regret my choice at all

[@clideschili6709]

As a person of the LGBTQ+ I've run into a lot of people in my life, saying that being gay is selfish because I'm wasting my chance to make my parents proud. It's unfair to put younger people, or anyone in general under the thought that they are a bad person because they can't or just don't want kids. It's a issue that needs to be fixed.

[@gimmekromer1151]

What is selfish is poping a kid and then pretending you know how to take care of them just so you gain extra points for doing the bare minimun.

[@ulyana_schen]

Bro, "being gay is selfish because you're wasting your chance to make your parents proud" has to be one of the worst things I've heard in a while. It's terrible. I can't even describe how much I hate it. Like imagine being a whole damn person with your own goals and achievements and then getting told that it all doesn't matter if you don't have kids. As someone who genuinely loves studying (currently at uni, passed my last exams with all A's) and plans to become a professional in my subject, this just seems so vile to me. Like surely I have other ways to make my parents proud, if that's the point. Please don't listen what they say, stay strong and keep yourself safe ❤

[@gimmekromer1151]

@@ulyana_schen True but im glad people are given less fucks about what others think as time passes.

[@clideschili6709]

TYSM It is so horrible and it's worse that young teens and young adults have to endure that. It's not fair and I hope whoever has to go through that im so sorry.

[@carriva8990]

I hate it when some people respond with "Oh, you'll change your mind" when I am positively sure that I don't want kids. It's so annoying

[@TigerwomanXsweden]

Ask them what the winning lottery numbers are, since they apparently can see the future.

[@MyHeartIsOhMyGod]

When they say that, I like letting them know that I have a sterilization appointment booked for next year. 😌 It's fun to see them freak out over my personal reproductive choices.

[@seabreeze4559]

its gaslighting

[@zakosist]

Do they ever think about "what if you change your mind" after having kids? I think that is kinda worse

[@frozerus]

when i was 16 my doctor tried to convince me to have kids. i was 16. im 19 now and still 100% do not want kids. its disgusting AND i live in CA

[@jmvp1380]

I get you there Emily In my country, women who doesn't want children either are nuns or the term "matandang dalaga" (which translates to old females who decided to not have children) There are alternatives though Either it will be animals as kids (aka furbabies, thus turning into furparents ) or plants, you'll be dubbed as a plantita (or plant auntie )

[@samanthamahadeo3374]

Plantie!

[@akasakikawasaki1890]

Plantita is the diminutive of "plant" in Spanish, so that sounds really cute

[@T_Cup]

In English, it's exactly the same - the term is "old maid", although it can be swapped out for the term "spinster".

[@louisratatoulielinson]

Omg nahanap kona kayo.. grabe ang mga nagkakanak ng marami rami tapos alam na mahirap na ang buhay..

[@peachbooks3199]

same thing in my country! the same exact meaning. the world is overpopulated ENOUGH why are people still shaming others for not breeding i don't get it...

[@Banaenaedeer]

Exactly! How is it selfish that I won't have kids I don't want? Wouldn't THAT be selfish if I got kids just because I'm "supposed to" and were a terrible parent to them, not liking them, not knowing how to raise them, having mental health issues...

[@PeriwinkleB]

Not all women are “meant” or are “equipped” to be mothers. Having kids when you don’t want kids is considered to be the most evil and selfish thing you could do because every child deserves to come here being loved and truly wanted, not brought here “just because.” I knew this at 13 and now I’m 24. I’m an advocate for kids and all of the youth and I stand by all people that KNOW they wouldn’t be fit to be parents and live by that

[@samanthacallaway2276]

This! Kids deserve stability, love, safety, and nurturing. I’m not sure I can give those things because of my mental health. I know what it feels like to have parents who aren’t emotionally invested or don’t really think about those needs. Even if it isn’t physical abuse, children don’t deserve it.

[@InvisibleRen]

Parents be like, “You’re so selfish for not wanting to get carry a baby for ten months and be financially and emotionally responsible for a human life for the majority rest of your life aka give me grandkids.”

[@leolesley7973]

My mom is a midwife, and due to that, growing up I was exposed to lots of the details of pregnancy. Most would think that would make me less scared of having kids because I know more about what's going on and what to expect, but it's the opposite. Getting pregnant and having your own kids is hideously over-romanticized. So much has to go into it and so much can go wrong; before even conceiving (being financially stable, having a partner who won't leave once it get hard because it will, making sure you're physically capable and healthy enough to bear a child, there's more), the pregnancy itself (nine whole months of wildly varying experience all depending on immune system, excercise, illnesses, diet, hormones, the list goes on), the birth itself (can go on for literal days, can be in constant pain, can cause irreversable physical damage during and after, etc.), and postpatrum care (recovering from whatever the birth did to you because there is almost always something, eating right, sleeping at set times, staying active but not too active, also needing to care for the literal seperate human being you made, let's not forget that postpartum depression is a real thing). There is even more about it that I just can't think of now, but even with this it's just too much. And I'm only more scared about going into the world with this mentality after the abortion ban. I am so, so scared of being forced to carry a baby against my will, and I wish I could go a week without thinking about just getting sterilized so the fear can be over and done with, because I'm also scared of the complications that surgery could bring. This world just sucks, man.

[@peedrinker5000]

I cannot fathom ever wanting to do that to yourself, that's literal body horror.

[@bakageyama222]

I feel the fear, the world is so fucked sometimes. Also the comment about getting pregnant and having kids is (over)-romanticised is soooo true. It’s honestly creepy, it’s almost borderline a fetish

[@SlaSla1648]

Having kids looks like body horror/gore

[@Thewitchescookery]

As the proud owner of 1 crotchgoblin and 1 loinfruit - I say: yaaaas, preach! Kids are a shitton of work (I love it - but definitely get why someone wouldn't want to enslave themselves to the will of tiny earthlings every hour of the day). You do you, people! ✨💪

[@mellonnuggets838]

Tiny earthlings 😭 I love that

[@Danka42]

Crotchgoblin and loinfruit are my new favourite genders.

[@Lara-vo6rp]

excuse me while i casually steal the term crotchgoblin and add that to my vocabulary ty

[@Anon-pq6jd]

Incorporating crotchgoblin and loinfruit into my vocabulary system

[@CourtneyB444]

Lol I just came from your channel to here small world ☺

[@zhisu2665]

I would make an absolutely TERRIBLE mother, not in an abusive way but I am not nurturing, I do not have the patience, I do not have the energy, I simply couldn't give a child the love and attention they deserve. I am 1000% aware of my issues but I'm seen as terrible for NOT wanting to put a child through that because pro-birthers don't actually care about the wellbeing of a child and they say its against being a woman for not wanting to be a mother.

[@T_Cup]

Sadly, it always goes back to patriarchy. Carrying children is pushed as some magical power because it’s the one thing that cis men cannot do, so it’s treated as the utmost thing cis women should do. Who cares that our society isn’t structured to protect children or mothers? Yet the actual lifelong job of motherhood isn’t valued and mothers often face the “you made your bed now lie in it” treatment as soon as a baby is born. Not to mention it totally ignores the fact that women are people with flaws and, despite what movies tell us, babies are not band-aids and cannot miraculously overcome these flaws or common obstacles like poverty, lack of education, poor health, innate narcissism, psychological issues, and so on. But mothers are constantly judged and policed by everyone, as if they should be perfect from the start, and when they fail, are looked down on. There's no winning, because even the mothers who are viewed as "good" are usually the ones who act the closest to slaves.

[@boombayuna536]

very well said!

[@T_Cup]

@@boombayuna536 Thank you, fellow Blink and Midzy (I'm guessing?)

[@boombayuna536]

@@T_Cup that's correct haha :)

[@T_Cup]

@@boombayuna536 You have impeccable taste.

[@seabreeze4559]

men deadbeat and cheat when men are forced to stick with the mother and only her, women might feel secure enough boomers ruined marriage with trade-ups

[@saxviars9749]

I wish women were more comfortable with admitting they don't want to be parents and sticking with it. It's definitely hard thing to do because all the programing we faced in our society, but I think it's funny that despite the fact that my sister is a single mother who LOATHES parenting and (even when she was co-parenting) has complains about being a parent to my niece often to me... is still dating someone who wants kids/a big family of his own one day. It hurts, but it's important to honor our feelings/personal morals and more importantly, not traumatize the children we bring into this world by forcing ourselves to becomes something we may have no interest in.

[@berrybloom2000]

Just because we have ovaries and a vagina doesn't mean want babies. It's kind of like a vase, you can buy one for decoration but you don't have to use it.

[@skittle38]

this is the best analogy i've heard for this. i'm stealing this, thank you

[@priscila_porp]

If I tell my dad I don't want kids, he will collapse onto the ground in a very dramatic way and disown me right after. He seems to think having children means you'll have someone to take care of you when you get older. To me, that's not even close to be a reason to have kids

[@Lizard14]

So I used to be a really difficult problem child, and my mom used to say "When your child does the same to you, you will understand!!". And that's when I decided I'm never having a child, imagine having to deal with my child self, the HORROR

[@Liloi9667]

My mom says the same thing and I just tell her "Fuck having children then!" She still isn't convinced I won't get any lol

[@user-jm6cl6fj1l]

@@Liloi9667 If my mom told me that I would say “why do you want me to suffer the way you did?”

[@sruthi2708]

Lmao and after the say that and you tell them you don’t want children then will ask you”but why don’t you want children”

[@yaboicolleen]

Girl, PREACH. I just turned 31 last week and cannot remember a time I ever wanted kids. I guess as a kid I assumed I'd be a mother someday just bc that was the norm but it wasn't something I really thought about. Then as a teenager I was like, "Yeah no I don't want kids," and I got told, "Well God might have a plan for you!" Then in my early twenties I was still like, "I don't want kids," and I still heard, "You never know!" and in my mid-to-late twenties my mom finally got on board with, "Yeah, maybe having kids wouldn't be a good thing for you," bc I'm mentally ill and kinda struggle taking care of MYSELF. I still hear from strangers like, "Yeah well sometimes plans change!" and I get so much joy from saying, "Yeah well I'm a lesbian so... I'd actually have to put effort into having kids." I might be up to co-parenting someday, like being a step-mom or a foster parent but as it stands now I'm just fine with having a cat. She's enough work as it is.

[@bakageyama222]

Honestly, that amazing. Good for you

[@a-bird-lover]

ahah nice!! I'm ace and me having kids would be a very bad idea to downright near impossible for that as well as some other genetic and medication factors, I've started just telling people that I physically can't have kids so I don't have to go through the whole explanation lol. Looking forward to one day getting that dreadful organ out

[@qR7p9KsYt3zN]

I have never wanted children. Waste of energy, money, and time for what? As a woman I have always felt like a defect for not wanting children. But honestly I think society should be more accepting of women who don't want children.

[@dildaugamingro6448]

as a man, i always told my parents that i would never want a kid and they said its just a phase, now i am almost 18, i still feel the same, will feel the same, i just feel like its not mandatory to have kids but society is forcing it upon people

[@robertfinch6602]

I’m from the south I’ve really messed up a lot of things in my life..as a guy I feel playful pressure from other dudes to have a girlfriend because that leads to sex and so on etc… I

[@victornikiforov2259]

@@dildaugamingro6448 At this point heteronormativity is just a bs concept that's made to torture us... It's completely ok and valid for you to not want kids.. Find yourself a good paying job, a nice partner ( a man, a women or an enby, whoever you prefer.. ) and live your life to the fullest without any worries...

[@victornikiforov2259]

@@robertfinch6602 So they're trying to drag you down the same ditch they dug for themselves ? Don't fall for it... I know it's scary when you do things differently from other people but still, only you know what's better for yourself so take a good decision that you'll never regret..

[@omegasage777]

You're not a defect. Not all women want to be mothers, and that's okay. Some women don't want to - but still have children. Some want them, but end up unhappy...and some love motherhood. It's a mixed bag :)

[@manga626]

Yes, being a parent isn't something that is contract-finished after a child hits 18. You'll always worry and care about your kids even if they are in their 60s. Good parenting is beautiful. I would say that there is nothing more beautiful or precious to me than the unconditional love my mother gave me and my brother. There are certain people who shouldn't be parents and there are the rest of us who never felt that kids can fill the void. None of us should be made to feel like it's a must. Being a parent is a choice, not a necessity. Growing up, I always thought 35 or even 40 is a good time if a woman wants to start a family. But people, my family ESPECIALLY, started talking of marriage and kids as soon as I hit my early 20s. It is still a little surprising to me because my mother never talked about me being a parent or even a wife while I was growing up. I'm turning 26 in a few months. I'm still very young and will continue to be young till I hit my 70s. Never have I ever been made to feel so old.

[@stardolphin783]

Hey, i needed to read this, im severely chronically ill and a lot of times i feel im rotting my life away. I cant do any hobbies i used to enjoy, and sometimes i feel like ive died in a way. I hope to feel like im in my youth like u someday (':

[@bye4619]

​@@stardolphin783 i think no one is completely healthy i mean atleast not much , many people suffer from some kind of chronic illness so don't worry and focus on being independent!

[@joebaumgart1146]

I'm only half woman, but not everyone wants to be a parent. I'm an asexual person who enjoys living alone. 1.I get at least 8 hours of sleep every night 2. I get peace and quiet whenever I feel like it. 3. 1 have $35k in profit a year. 4. I have complete freedom , I can do whatever I want whenever I want. 5. I have plenty of storage space. 6. I still have plenty of adult friends. 7. My stress levels are bottem floor almost all the time. Name me 3 good reasons to have kids.

[@audreysheng5121]

i have three reasons but i dont rlly want them either: 1. Cute clothes 2. pick out cute names 3. grow them up to be a good person that fights for equal rights, helps ppl, ect. bc we need as much of those ppl as we can get in the world

[@ohwormalyssa]

honestly, I'm also completely offboard with having kids but I don't see all negatives. I think the fact that someone just grew life in them and gets to raise it is really cool, you get your own little built in best friend! (Whether they are a good parent or not is obviously an unknown since parenting IS very hard, but I think if you're a good one there can be many benefits that we don't even know of since we aren't experiencing it!)

[@mellonnuggets838]

Hi can I be your room mate. I'm clean and have social anxiety, so I won't bother you, and I hate working, in both my jobs I cry every shift and the managers make me want to eat tide pods for breakfast 🥲

[@shhd2105]

@@audreysheng5121 first two don't outweigh the cons like "cute clothes vs no sleep/free time" or "pick out a name vs being responsible for another human being". Plus there's no guarantee ur kid becomes a good person, even if they're raised right. They could rlly become the next super villian.

[@audreysheng5121]

@@shhd2105 Help i was joking 💀💀😭

[@Diana-pe5eu]

I absolutely hate how people think a woman could never have a fulfilled life without kids and giving birth is the only thing that could make a woman truly happy.

[@VideosForYou90]

Right, so outdated. Some women will be happy with having a successful career or only getting married but not getting kids or other women will be happy just by themselves.

[@SunlightBeauty]

Even to this day, if you are actually happy with that, they will think you are delusional and messed up in the head. 🙄

[@stress_vibes]

The way everybody also says "Giving birth will be the most wonderful moment of your life" Can you let me have my own thoughts about it ?

[@zakeernalir2871]

People don’t think that. They just want you to believe it and pass it on cause that’s what keeps the society going. It’s a social conditioning.

[@untitled1464]

I wish people understood how huge being a parent is. Like first of all, you better be damn sure you’re not passing something onto your kid that could be detrimental to their health and you can guarantee them a loving and safe environment. People also need to understand how crucial it is to not pass generational trauma because it’s just absolutely awful and not everyone should have the responsibility of breaking the cycle. You’re responsible for another life for the rest of your life, and just because you’re able to become a parent doesn’t mean you SHOULD become one. Every child deserves a loving parent but not everybody deserves to become a parent.

[@leandrog2785]

Not having children is the easiest way to break the cycle.

[@molekyyli]

I feel like most parents didn't understand it prior having children nor probably after...

[@slowrunn3r88]

Now, I’m saying this as a cisgender man, so I won’t pretend to know how this is for others, but I also deal with a lot of pressure 🙄. I’ve had several therapists argue with me relentlessly that I need to get married, and have children. I kept insisting “no, I missed out on a lot, I wanna live my own life on my own terms.” They insisted “you can’t do that; you need to grow up. Find a woman, have kids with her. It needs to happen soon” Like- my job is stressful as it is, so I’m supposed to come home, exhausted, and deal with another exhausting human? Like- No?

[@Passions5555]

Guys get pressured to, I think it comes from the expectations of passing down the family name or continuing the bloodline.

[@slowrunn3r88]

@@Passions5555 right; and our society has an obsession with “masculinity is either living up the bachelor life, or having a family and being a provider. There is no ‘on your own terms’”

[@Jade0603]

@@Passions5555 Exactly. I’m transgender but when I was like 14 (pre-transition) my grandparents tried to use that same argument to me about how I must have kids “passing down the family name.” I still see babies and toddlers as super adorable and I like kids but there’s other ways to have kids. Having kids for the dumb arguments ppl use to justify why you must have kids just turns you into a bad parent.

[@zakeernalir2871]

@@Passions5555 yeah everybody are pressured but in a different scale, for different reasons with different intentions. That’s where the problems become specific.

[@gimmekromer1151]

True people are so sexuality/fertility obssesed it makes me question why theyre like that

[@dullfairie]

as a woman u shouldn’t feel like u have to have kids, I don’t even want kids, for certain reasons, and it’s not dumb and people shouldn’t judge you just for that, some need to realize that just cause someone is a woman doesn’t automatically mean we have to be obligated to have kids based off of societies standards on us and how normalized it is to have them, if some don’t wanna have them, then that’s literally okay

[@elasesino1508]

Women were made to have kids.

[@ahzayoc1207]

@@elasesino1508 so does that mean you were made to post weird incel-type KZbin comments?

[@elasesino1508]

@@ahzayoc1207 if that’s what you wanna believe I guess so

[@elasesino1508]

@happily devasted lol I own my own business brotha

[@lookingsubmissiveandbreeda1512]

@@elasesino1508 Men were made to be wallets for women and kids. :)

[@LazyDuckGamerOnPluto]

We should call the fandom “the femily” like family but with Emily and we can be the femily members

[@LoreCatan]

that's such a good idea!! What won the poll was simply "Emily" but I think this is funnier.

[@kjgallardo]

i second the motion!

[@Turquerina]

It sound so wholesome, I love it!

[@stardolphin783]

Lol! Femily is a trans youtuber i follow! Except her fans are called the fem gems (:

[@qhuizatlantis8484]

I'm on board

[@GA_131]

I would like to have kids one day but I feel that’s selfish, I don’t want to pass mental issues on to my children or mess them up because they’re an actual human. And the job I want to pursue in the future isn’t exactly that stable. My mind will probably change, but then again family has always been such a big staple in my life. But anyways, I support anybody in their decision on whether or not they want kids

[@jmvp1380]

The mental issue are inevitable Everyone will experience that no matter what A positive mindset & a persistent personality are basic key to survive in this world I know there will be sudden & expected troubles in life, but if there's a will there's a way

[@sseraphim2818]

​@@jmvp1380 Do you even know what type of mental issues they're diagnosed with for them to make that assessment? Why are you deliberately advocating for this person to hinder their child with a disorder? They have a good reason for saying that. Mental issues and disorders are very serious. Positivity and rainbows will not be enough to overcome those disorders. You need therapy, medication, counseling etc.

[@jmvp1380]

@@sseraphim2818 I agree with the last part I'm referring to the internal positive aspect of the topic But you're right, they do need intensive psychological assessment about that

[@kevinwhatareyoudoing7519]

@marshmxllow fluff i dont agree. '' If we had just a billion people on Earth but people were wildly consuming fossil fuels and industrial agriculture was growing and people were eating beef five meals a day, you can imagine a scenario where the population’s very small and actually the impact is still really significant,” she says. “Similarly, if we have a large population but consumption comes way down then that’s also a different scenario.'' - Dr Katharine Wilkinson wanting children isn't selfish, especially when overpopulation is a myth.

[@kevinwhatareyoudoing7519]

@marshmxllow fluff You can't pinpoint one thing to be selfish when the other is just as selfish 🤷

[@dumbplings550]

Kids are not retirement plans.

[@starzque]

GUYS. NOT EVEN EMILY JUST POSTED. WAKE UP.

[@not_daijobu_]

You actually spoke my mind , Emily. You couldn't have been better in explaining the whole point . I, myself, have had these thoughts. I want to live my life , what's wrong with it. A happy marriage and a kid couldn't be yielded , if I am not happy with my own life. And imagine your kid going to therapy ,when they grow up, just bcz their mother wasn't ready for the child , and the kid seemed to be a responsibility to them.

[@Music_studios26]

Whenever someone tells me that I'm selfish for not having kids, I just say: Not having kids > Having kids and putting them through years of neglect because you do not have the time to take care of them nor have the want to do so. Bringing kids into this world and then making them suffer because you simply do not want to take care of them is selfish.

[@AnneBoleynofEngland]

I can sometimes barely take care of myself. You expect me to take care of another living breathing child?

[@blueghost4769]

Same. I could barely take care of my rabbits when i had them, i absolutely wouldn't trust me with a child, an actual human being.

[@AnneBoleynofEngland]

@@blueghost4769 I have to many houseplants to manage. I would be more focusing on watering my banana leaf been giving my child hydration.

[@selkbee]

i love emily sm tbh, emily always has the best takes and is so educated

[@trinaq]

Agreed, I always love hearing Emily's takes!

[@irenemoser3567]

1:45 Literally once I went to the hairdresser and she happened to ask me about my future and making a family, I told her that I don’t want to be a mom and she replied “ Oh that’s such a selfish decision, there’s no best thing in a woman’s life to become mom” and I was like yeah my life my choice let me be selfish then, now I can’t even live for myself?

[@lilttiger]

seriously how is it selfish to not want to have kids? and whats wrong with it even if it is?? its not like you're denying existing children a parent, you just dont want to MAKE a new child then have to raise it for almost 20 years

[@FullMoonOctober]

"Why yes Sharon, it is selfish of me to not want kids, that way I get to keep all this disposable time and money for luxuries like getting my hair done by a professional and not by myself in my bathroom. So seeing as it's in both of our interests that I not, then let's just drop it, okay? Okay."

[@T_Cup]

@@FullMoonOctober Exactly! Well put.

[@cycymaca]

Admittedly, I can be a little rude when annoyed so I would've looked her in the face and say, "Does it look like I give a fuck."😂😂😂 Don't do that tho lol

[@roseinskyrim]

Yeah I find it so weird, like what the hell? I exist, and I’m… not allowed to have autonomy and try to be happy in my own way? Not allowed to make decisions that would keep me enjoying my life rather than seeing it as a hellish existence??? What even is that? I was raised in more conservative Christianity but thankfully have gotten out of it, so I have some ~thoughts~ about all that nonsense.

[@Mich6961]

I definitely agree that not everyone is cut out to be a mother. My mum did this thing where if the conversation between her and someone came to children, she'd almost always say how having kids ruins your life. And often she'd say this infront of me. I use to butt in by saying ''well I'm here now.'' and she'd just laugh it off and in a way gaslight me into thinking I was the crazy one for being upset by what she said. Fast forward to a couple days ago, my nephew was just born a few days ago and while I didn't hear the full context of what she said to my aunt, hearing ''oh, you don't need to give them attention, you just need to feed them.'' made my stomach turn a little because I wouldn't put it past her to give god-awful advice like that.

[@UltraV6565]

honestly I think it's ok for some women to know they won't be good mothers. They're not selfish or life-hating by staying childless, they just wouldn't be good mothers or maybe they would be later in life and just haven't gotten to that point yet. I feel like the rush to make women mothers is stupid at best and downright despicable and inhumane at worst.

[@soraeverblue]

They call it selfish but i call it SELF AWARE and i appreciate a good amount of self-awareness in an individual when making a choice, especially about the choice a person makes that could have a huge effect on other people, like being a parent

[@Google_remote]

oh, youve been in abusive relationships and you dont want to have a kid to prevent them from suffering the same trauma you did? youre so selfish! 🫠

[@UltraV6565]

@@Google_remote yeah, not everyone can be a cyclebreaker

[@SkyBlueRose96]

I don't want kids but have convinced myself in the past that I wanted kids because I've never met anyone who didn't want kids. It didnt help all my exes wanted kids too. Deep down I never wanted kids but didn't want to acknowledge or admit it out of fear being judged. I felt pressured to want kids because wanting is so normal and people who don't want kids are seen as selfish and weird that their lives are unfilling because of it not to mention the abundant parents online looking down on child free people doesn't help or dismissing their stress and problems with the obligatory "wait until you have kids" or big speech you don't know true happiness until you have kids or how you'll regret it later not having kids or you'll change your mind/we'll see, not mention your not considered true woman/less of a woman if you don't want kids or can't have kids or as a woman having kids is the most fulfilling than a career. It's not that I hate kids. I don't see myself as a mother figure. Bringing a child into this world isn't easy decision it's a lifetime commitment. There's just so much responsibilities provide for your child while trying bring them up to be well adjusted adult not mention the expenses. I honestly don't think I'm cut out for motherhood and that's ok. I hate that people don't take in consideration of generational trauma why some people don't want kids. I'm terrified of the idea of having a kids only to traumatized them repeating the cycle of trauma. Sure there's no guarantee that I'll be a bad mom but there's no guarantee I'll be good mom. That's a risk I am not willing to take I'd rather not be a mom than be a bad mom.

[@lavender4658]

I think that's how I feel. When a I was younger, I always assumed I would have kids in the future, cuz it was expected of young girls. But as I get older, I realize that I don't want one of my own. I'd rather be an aunt to someone elses kids than have my own. I also feel like I'd be a bad mom. I won't know for sure unless I have one, but you can't do that with kids. They say "you'll never know until you try," but you can't just "try" to have kids. That's a lifelong commitment that I'm not ready for.

[@Lenlon703]

last paragraph is exactly how I feel too. I do want to have kids but I can't see myself being able to be a good parent, if anything shouldn't it be more selfish to force a child to be born despite knowing you're not going to be able to give them what they deserve? And the risk of getting permanent psychological trauma from other people despite doing my best to protect them is too terrifying for me. I feel like my paranoia would make me overprotect and suffocate them instead.

[@vuivraalbastra]

I understand what you're saying. I do want kids one day but I want to adopt. Pregnancy and birth scare me so much and I couldn't care less about genetics or blood bonds. The planet is overpopulated anyway with so many kids who need a home. Oh and also I can't stand kids younger than 3-5 yo. After I finally convinced my mom that I will not feel any different about such young kids if they were my own, my mom said she'd take care of my kids in the first years, but that doesn't seem fair to me to either the kids or her (and it's not my only problem with biological kids anyway). Somehow for a while I convinced myself that I would be okay with having biological kids if my partner really wanted that because 1. it's extremely hard to find a guy who doesn't want kids (I'm bi, but it's most likely I'll end up with a man anyway, especially because my country is quite homophobic) and 2. I'm an only child so I feel an unspoken pressure of having biological kids to continue the family line. I think I only accepted how unhappy that would make me when I was flirting with a guy I really liked (and he liked me back) for a few weeks, but we had a very disappointing fight so I decided I would not pursue that relationship any further. My first and main reaction wasn't annoyance or sadness, but relief. I mostly just felt relief because I knew he wanted biological children and, because we wouldn't end up together anymore, I wouldn't have to worry about it now. In contrast, when an earlier attempt at a relationship failed, that time with a guy who didn't want biological kids to not pass on his health problems, I did feel annoyance and sadness and not relief. It might be much harder to find a partner who is happy with only adopting kids over a certain age, but it's probably worth it in the long run... as in worth it for the rest of my life. But that doesn't mean there aren't many days when I'm questioning myself and wondering if I should be more... flexible about this decision. It's hard when both options feel wrong because of societal norms, even if one of them is indeed right for me.

[@dannamelissa5305]

I've always wanted kids but then i found my "other half" and i was like hm I don't want to share him with a mini person if I'm completely honest, i want to keep cuddling my partner at nights without a kid on the way hahaha I'm really sorry 💀

[@livi_bwop]

don’t be sorry haha that’s totally valid :>

[@stardolphin783]

This is so funny the way u wrote this lol

[@stardolphin783]

Cuddles are valid

[@rickrollconnoisseur1926]

i do not understand how people can say "you should have a kid because that's what women are for" or something like that and then expect the mom to not be terrible at taking care of a child. they didn't want the child in the first place, so why would giving them a child make anything better for them or the kid? i'll never understand.

[@-lrevels-7056]

It’s because those kinds of people have never had an original thought in their life.

[@RNS_Aurelius]

When a man says he doesnt want kids people say it's smart, independant ecconomic thinking. When a woman says it they call her selfish.

[@roxassora2706]

Men who do not want kids, their biological clocks are ticking. Jk.

[@bor3db625]

amazing hair and great takes on the topic. emily slayed once again😌

[@tsukitanuki101]

My dad literally sat me down last week and tried to convince me that “Your gonna wanna have Kids and if you don’t have kids are your gonna regret like all the other woman you see today!” It made me super uncomfortable. Like I actually really wanted to tell him how disgusting he sounded and made me feel but I feel like I would’ve gotten in trouble if I did.

[@tsukitanuki101]

Almost forgot how we went on a rant about how “the world will be under populated if you don’t have kids!” When it’s over populated all ready, and when I said they he said “That’s just what they tell you” bruuuh.

[@cheyblake2475]

Yeah, I do wonder if the human population will go down, but in a less brutal way

[@Undernewmanagment]

@@cheyblake2475 eventually yeah, the un says if things remain at the same rate we will reach 11 billion and stabilize somewhere around there

[@roxassora2706]

​@@UndernewmanagmentAs someone who wants kids in 10 years, this economy is fucked

[@iiv_dannybo1]

That sounds like my dad. I'm currently 19 and my dad kept telling me i should be married with kids by now. Many people in my country did marry at age 15-16 and having kids. firstly im asexual, i dont want to have kids, secondly i want to adopt but yeah my father doesnt agree.

[@taylermuilenburg5029]

I worked at an Elementary school for two years. I don’t want kids. Enough said.

[@Bugsinmystomach]

I wanna have kids when im older, and you know what i say to women who dont?!😠 Nothing, ya'll are totally valid Your body your choice

[@aether6353]

this stigma against people who don't want to have kids and even the laws they've put in place now will only leave more children traumatized by bad parents and more parents traumatized by having to take care of another human being. I feel like it also leaves room for most parents to just be mediocre in how they care for their children, its really sad for everyone involved

[@evilds3261]

It really throws people for a loop if you threaten to get rid of yourself if you are forced to have a child - threatening to take the unborn child with you in the process. XD what a way to bypass abortion. If you can convince people that you are psychotic enough to go through with it, they may begin to support your decision to not have kids because they might be afraid of your genes passing on.

[@aether6353]

@@evilds3261 Thank you for the advice

[@cheyblake2475]

If a doctor tells me that I'm infertile, I'd be like, "Oh sweet, no kids! 😄". Saves money from having surgery to prevent pregnancy

[@4x1um]

Infertile doesn’t mean you cant have kids at all 😭

[@natasham4184]

So true. Ever since I was a child, I absolutely DREADED becoming an adult because I thought it was just a given that I'd have to have kids. But at some point in my mid teens, I realised that it is a choice. It was only then that I began to look forward to the rest of my life.

[@thethreesusketeers8038]

I’ve always wanted kids. I’ve always wanted to have the perfect life: go to college, get a degree, get a good job, get married, and have kids. That’s my goal. It’s a big commitment, and obviously it’s not for everyone. Women should not be forced to have children because it will worsen the lives of their kids because they are not wanted.

[@molekyyli]

I hope you'll achieve your goal and will be happy. Good luck. :)

[@theultraatomicgamer]

I thought you are like some 20 year old and your a child? What the Fuck?!

[@boombayuna536]

same, i know that i don't want to have kids and i'm tired of people telling me "oh you will change your mind later, trust me" yikes... it's also super frustrating how it's mostly women who gets asked questions when they're having a stable career "oh what about kids/are you planning to become a mum?", i rarely see anyone asking a successful man whether or when he wants to become a dad. just let people do what they think is best for them. some love to have kids and others don't and both is alright.

[@randomcat1962]

It was always creepy to me how people could walk up to an 11 year old and ask them if they want kids. These things happen often at family gatherings and idk how it’s considered normal. Especially the “you’ll change your mind later”.

[@spookyarual]

I guess that's also because they associate not wanting kids with wanting them extinct.

[@serenediipity]

honestly wish "because i'm selfish" was seen as a valid enough reason to not have kids

[@evilds3261]

You can call them selfish for wanting you to have kids. Also, tell them that there is no benefit to having kids - less mouths to feed means you can save on food costs and do not have to work multiple jobs to stay afloat. If they call it irresponsible not to have kids, tell them that it is financially irresponsible to have kids without a significant financial buffer and savings. Also, it's not like society will value kids when they grow up. They get taken for granted and are viewed as expendable and replaceable.

[@v0id_b0i_89]

I agree with all of this and also I think having a kid is actually selfish, not the other way around. There are so many kids in the system that need loving homes. What makes YOUR genetics so special that its worth adding another person to add to carbon emissions and be around to watch the world burn into climate change oblivion. I doubt that kid would want to be born honestly.

[@diamondcentury21]

I think similarly! Finally someone who gets it 😅

[@LoreCatan]

I think no matter how you look at it, both decisions are selfish. Either you bring a baby into the world because you don't wanna be lonely when you die and you want to feel accomplished for fitting in, or you put yourself first, and neither option is inherently bad. It's shitty we've started to associate being selfish with being bad, because they don't always go together, but it's true that no matter what you think is right, it's selfish to make that decision, because we're basically playing god with unborn people's lives. You get to choose if you want to bring someone to life or never let them be born, and that's just a fact of life. I'm pro-choice btw, I just think this was the best terminology for making my point, but yeah I don't think not wanting kids is a bad thing, considering I don't want kids myself.

[@anitalianorange8427]

I totally agree, there's so many kids that need families, and by adopting you're basically saving a life because of how messed up the system can be to children. And bringing a child into this world at this point will be really hard on them because of all the stuff that's happening now just keeps on getting worse 😐

[@fashionablyunstablee]

@@anitalianorange8427 ong like like it’s not all that great here in this world 😭

[@Alexandraadftxr7052]

I want to have kids one day. (just one, or two). But if someone doesn't want to have them then I can understand it.

[@weatherreport15yearsago8]

i dont wanna force another being into this existence. life sucks

[@richardkyoki8103]

My biggest pet peeve with this is when people say "oh you'll change your mind when you're older" Like no, I can barely take care of myself let alone a little human. I like having my independence

[@011mph]

I just turned 25 and my parents keep hounding me about getting married and having kids. It's so frustrating. I've been saying since I was even a pre-teen that I never wanted to have kids. I hate that they can't just accept that it's something that I have no interest in.

[@gingerj4440]

I had to create distance from some family members while I was in my 20s for this exact reason. They were obsessed with my fertility and soooo mean to me because I wasn’t using it. Now at 34 I get way less lip service, but I think it’s because I’ve weeded out the people that have no respect. Good luck to you!

[@craziidani]

As I always say, every child deserves a parent, but not every parent deserves/should have a child.

[@KssN27]

I have NEVER daydreamed about a wedding, marriage or family. The more I think about it, the less I want children.

[@user.7710]

I can barley keep my Sims alive

[@meiyamanaka]

I don't want kids. Everyone around me, especially in the church is like "No, one day you'll want. Then you'll regret saying all this". I believe that words holds power. So I was always afraid that it would become true. I'm less paranoid now, but I still hate it. Also I hate that "meme" when people want to portray that they really like someone or ship another couple and say "aw im already picturing they marrying, having 3 kids and 2 dogs". anyway. justing venting.

[@TJ_918]

We’re in similar boats, internet stranger… you’re not alone!!! The internal struggle I hold over whether or not I’ll truly regret not having children has been very challenging at times but it’s certainly lessened since I first decided on the sentiment years ago. A few months ago, my mom passed away and since then, I’ve had some guilt over her never seeing me have children (I’m the youngest of 5 kids and she already had 10 grandchildren from my other siblings) and remorse over the thought that if I did end up having children, they would never meet the most important person in my life. So, my grief and loss has complicated matters but I can only take things as they come… one day at a time and that’s it. Peace and love, friend. ✌🏻

[@meiyamanaka]

@@TJ_918 thank you so much for sharing this with me. I'm sorry for your loss and I hope you'll sort this out. Whether you want to or not it's up to you and i believe we don't owe this to other people. even family. thank you.

[@roaches7963]

idk if i even want kids. I have the maternal instinct but looking at my family's history of heart disease, cancer, diabetes and mental illness.... NOPE. I don't hate babies or kids. But the thing is... they don't stay cute babies forever. You're basically taking a gamble when bringing a kid into this world. You don't know what kind of person they will be, there is only so much you can do. I love my cat

[@plant2188]

This is similar to how I feel. I actually really like young kids and think babies are cute (a little nasty though) , but I don’t want a lifelong responsibility to take care of another human being.

[@justbinji7718]

We had this discussion about kids multiple times with family or friends, sometimes colleagues. The topic of diseases came, and one of my colleagues said that even if they have a family history that is full of diseases they should have kids and that is their purpose. We were like "huh?🤨"

[@Google_remote]

good for you! alot of parents have the maternal instinct and bring their kids into terrible homes. im proud of you for resisting it

[@Msis03]

What I find funny (Read: frustrating and annoying) is how when I say "I don't want kids" the general response is "Never say never!" or "What if you change your mind?", but that never happens in the opposite scenario. If I'm barely out of high school, but I have dreams of being a mom, no one's coming out of the woodwork to warn me that I'll change my mind. The fact that it's considered a conclusive future for woman is sexist and degrading, like that's all we're good for. You want kids? Awesome, I hope you are blessed with a loving family. But I shouldn't be shamed for not wanting/having them.

[@maribethmorgan7886]

I recommend checking out a lot of the peer-reviewed studies done on the way male bias has touched everything from how we understand the very process of reproduction. It’s actually quite disturbing how scientists have molded and worded things to fit their bias that women are made for reproduction-this included everything from exaggerating how wide a woman’s skeletal hips are (to emphasize her purpose to reproduce) all the way to purposing wording the egg as passively being taken by the triumphant determined sperm (when in reality sperm look like me when my leg falls asleep and I awkwardly wiggle to wake it up). It’s very disconcerting that our whole reality and how we understand science has been shaped by bias and prejudice-and the people who are most impacted are women and minorities :/