(not) Alone - Randall Standridge - part of the unBroken Project

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Why I wrote (not) Alone
Many who live with mental health conditions experience a profound sense of isolation. Discussing these issues and more so, identifying as someone who lives with them, has been extremely taboo in our society. Thus, many suffer in silence, facing their troubles with no support. But, as the title of the work implies, they are not alone.
I live with depression and anxiety. I have tried to use my platform to normalize discussions about mental health and to help start conversations about this issue. Here are some statistics you may or may not be aware of:
1 in 5 of adults in the US experience mental health issues each year.
1 in 6 youths in the US experience mental health issues each year.
90% of suicides worldwide are attributable to mental illness.
Suicide is the 2nd leading cause of death in the United States.
With statistics like this, it is shocking and frustrating that so many people are reluctant to acknowledge, discuss, and address these issues.
In 2021, I was asked to create a work for wind ensemble addressing mental illness. The resultant work, “unBroken”, is one of my favorite works I have ever created, both from an aesthetic and personal perspective. However, this work is very advanced (Grade 5), which limits its demographic for performers and, thus, audiences.
Those of us that teach or have taught middle school and high school know that there is a need to address this issue at younger ages, and to make such tools available to middle schools and developing high school ensembles.
I decided to make this work a consortium, expecting there would be 20-30 schools that would support such a piece. 40 tops.
The consortium included over 300 schools.
This is an issue whose time has come. The time is now. We need to talk about this, and we are going to talk about this.
We are going to show them all that they are not alone.
About the work
The piece starts very softly, with both beauty and dissonance. The individual is aware that something is wrong but is trying to bravely persist. A soloist introduces the main theme of the work, a bittersweet melody that is lovely and vulnerable. As the first segment continues, dissonant elements and a three note descending theme signals the onset of a mental health crisis.
The second segment is manic and violent. The individual struggles with their condition as everything seems to be in darkness. The piece builds to a thunderous moment before dying away to a cloud of confusion. Their heartbeat is heard racing and then slowing. The individual is broken.
The original theme sounds out again, unaccompanied, but others join in. The work rises to a triumphant climax, as a sense of solidarity is achieved. The work ends with the soloist again, but more confident and with others there for support.
Major Themes
There are four major themes that are used in the work.
The first, which I call “Shirley’s Theme”, after my mother who lives with severe depression, is first heard at measure 9. This work is used throughout, both in whole and in part, so signify the individual.
The second theme, a three note descending motif, appears throughout the work. It is twisted a minor second down and minor third, and it represents the darkness inside the individual’s mind. This is the “Mental Illness Motif.”
The third theme, the “hope” motif, is the five note motif that starts the work in the piano/mallets. It represents the individual trying to find hope for happiness and a better future.
The fourth theme, the “crisis” motif, is a 12-tone row, first sounded in m.42. 12 tone music has always sound disturbing and inhuman to me, and I found this to be a great way to express mental illness and despair. The 12-tone row is built off of various iterations and inversions of the second theme (“Mental Illness Motif”).

[@Jay-wx5up]

I'm in highschool and we're playing this for a concert after we had an unfortunate loss to suicide. Thank you for creating this.

[@asherkat5853]

An unfortunate event that has happened too many times.

[@shiningowl15]

I'm in that same boat I would like to thank the creator of the song thank you Randall

[@milesclarke7085]

This song, and the whole unBroken piece (the grade 5 piece) makes me sob uncontrollably. Never have I heard such emotion, such beauty, such a perfectly composed piece that allows me to create cinematics in my mind with ease.

[@hearts444h]

we're in the exact same boat dude

[@elijahsvideos0857]

Same with our band

[@lilyt1024]

I’m a 7th grade, and me and my band are playing for our spring concert i think. And it’s our longest piece yet. We’re doing in honor of people struggling with mental problems and it’s my favorite piece so far.

[@user-il8ow8be5i]

Sameeee

[@im_a_bored_james3496]

Played this last night as apart of my final ever concert with my school and have to say it was one of if not my favourite piece to play. I’m all my years performing in that concert hall I’ve never heard it ring the way this piece made it.

[@cassandraschell6181]

I did too. I had a rough senior year and this song voiced my problems and it being at the tail end of the concert was freeing to me. So, I know what you mean

[@rwatral1671]

This was the last song I ever played in band :(

[@mawj09eas4]

Ha! “No percussionists were harmed in the making of this video…” This is a very beautiful piece. I played this song in my most recent band concert.

[@kariz4776]

I want to say thank you! My son band played this at his concert last night. I actually cried as it has very real meaning. I myself struggle with depression. I could feel deeply every note of this piece and it's meaning. It is something I will listen to often and remind myself in my deepest hardest times there will be a calm and peace to hold on, and not give up! It is also proof I am not alone, and someone else has experienced this. Will also remind me of what my family is going through and not to give up they are here and I need to be for them too. Thank you from the bottom of my heart! ♥️♥️♥️

[@randallstandridge]

Thank you, Kari. It is my strong belief that we all need to be okay talking about this; normalizing it is a great way to encourage those that need it to get help. Sending lots of love to you and your family.

[@tommyrose5807]

I’m playing this piece as one of our concert pieces this year, and the little message at the top that says “Dedicated to those who live with mental health conditions. You are not alone.” Almost brought me to tears when I first got my part. It made me feel so seen, since our band LOVES this piece and I myself struggle with severe anxiety and very very dark depressive episodes that I’m unable to receive much help for. I genuinely cannot thank you enough for writing this piece and adding that little message. Our school was one of those with access to the video diaries/pre-production, and I know after watching those that your words were heartfelt and genuine. Thank you, so much, for this piece.

[@doloniaaa]

I'm a flautist, sophomore playing this for my spring concert in about a month. I can't tell you how emotional this piece has made me, even though I've just received it. I currently struggle with MDD and GAD. I know many of my friends and family struggle with mental health as well, and this piece represents a lot about it. I cannot wait to play it, and dedicate it to those who are special around me. It makes me, and I'm sure many others, feel less alone. Thank you. With great love and wishes, a fellow musician.

[@Jaerbird0411]

Last year, in my freshman year, my band played this piece to honor one of our seniors who had committed suicide. I didn't know her, but the emotions around the room almost made me cry. I was also in a really dark place, and had been planning on commitimg suicide, until this piece showed me that other people know how it feels. I cried the first time I heard this piece, because it made me feel like no matter what I was gling through, I was going to get through it. Thank you so much for letting my band be one of the bands to preview it. Thanks, from all of Gaylord Symphony Band.

[@viv_dumbb]

We played this for my spring concert. The day we saw it was a the day after I had a breakdown the night before. I was in a dark place. I had been planning to end it for a while and the night before we first read this piece. When we first read through it I had to keep myself from crying. This is one of the most powerful pieces of music i’ve ever played. It’s something I relate to. The night of the concert, my mom actually cried. My mom doesn’t cry easily. These past few years have been hard on me and my mom. I was initially angry when I first heard this piece because someone understood. I was upset I was crying in class, I was upset that I was in that place, everything just fell apart. I’m eternally grateful that I got to be one of the first bands to perform this piece. I’m glad I got to play the music written by someone who understands. Thank you.

[@dantheman8503]

I played this in district honor band a few days before valentine's day. We did something that's been done before where, during the final flute solo, a few peope stand up and say "I am not alone." Everyone who aske to do it dit it. (There were about 7 of us who did it if I remember correctly.) I was fortunate enough to be one of them. I'm certain that this song was the main reason I didn't harm myself in some way this past valentines day. I don't typically struggle with suicidal thoughts that often,(normally, they only reverberate in my head when I'm going throu a major rough patch. Twice a year at most if I had to guess.) But I'm sure that, if it wasn't for this song, They would have appeared and I would have given in to them. So, from the bottom of my heart, Thank you. Sincerely, Daniel.

[@thedogethatgames]

This song hits on a personal level. My grandma was diagnosed with Parkinson’s which can cause mental health issues (such as hallucinations, anxiety, etc.) so playing this just feels very special to me

[@Form_Elmo]

Same here

[@galaxyflute1619]

I got to play the flute solo in one of the first bands to ever play this live, it was so much fun and rewarding thank you for giving us amazing music like this.

[@skip_town]

In my freshman year, we played this in honor of a senior who passed away from a brain tumor

[@haleighmccollough6015]

i’m in seventh grade and in wind ensemble for middle school and we are playing this song, and i just heard it today and it wanted to make me cry bc i’ve been through a lot, and i just really love this song

[@omgstop9035]

Awesome seeing middle schoolers appreciate music considering the past few years we’ve been through, keep up the awesome work and high school is really fun so I encourage you to try doing music even just as a hobby or an extra class!

[@MeMe-ov6ly]

@@omgstop9035Exactly! Band music just hits different and it can be so special so it’s so awesome to see people appreciate how beautiful it really is

[@CatastrophicQuakenOF]

I played this at Harriet Eddy last year and was one of the main Soloists and first chair Clarinet. I also listened to (Un)Broken. Both were amazing to hear and play, especially because at the time a friend had recently tried to commit suicide.

[@logical582]

Played this a week ago, it's a beautiful piece. Mr. Standridge, I really enjoyed playing this piece -Love from Norman High, Bb Clarinet

[@awesoman78andrew_roberts59]

Played this song as a senior and it is definitely the best song I’ve ever played. I listen to our recording of it every once and while and still tear up while listening to it. Thank you so much for writing such a powerful and beautiful song. Mad respect for you and everything that you do and stand for

[@randallstandridge]

Thank you!

[@Zinniabloom3]

I'm a band member at crow high-school, and my teacher has been working with us on this piece a lot! It means a lot to him and the rest of the band, can't wait to play it in concert!

[@marcsoly5259]

I am a trumpet player and just started playing bass clarinet and was given the opportunity to play this on bass and while we haven’t had our concert yet for this piece I love it so much and get chills in certain areas of the song❤️

[@kofunsuckz]

my school donated for the creation of this song! cant wait to play for our spring concert

[@therevolutionarymanumissio466]

I played this as the soloist at 97 and it was a beautiful piece

[@cementsandwich]

Never thought I'd be playing the Anxiety OST in high school band but this song is probably the best one we've done so far

[@clairepoole5304]

I’m a 7th grader who recently made the marching team and we go to the school Faith Academy. My band director decided for this season’s theme to be not alone. He’s taking parts from all of the pieces you created and putting them together for our halftime show.

[@Carloslazcano]

Loved this piece so much it was so beautiful and very expressive but our school couldn't play it cause we weren't ready enough hopefully i can play it sometime in the future #thankyourandallstandridge

[@britorida9321]

Im in the Brookville high school band, this is by far one of my favorite piece’s to play. Love it so much!

[@randallstandridge]

Thank you so much!

[@Koa-bx1oq]

I went to district band my last year of high school(I just graduated) and got into senior concert in which i got to play under the direction of Randall and we played it but when he told us the reasoning for this song i fell in love with it because my grandma suffers from really bad depression

[@lockedup9596]

As a senior and my last year being in Academy Highschool it was a wonder playing this amazing piece. Several of my friends including me have battled mental illness and still are. This piece speaks clearly of all the rises and falls you go through in those times. Thank you for writing this wonderful and amazing piece.

[@HamsterDud]

Hey Randall, I'm a huge fan of your works, we have played 2 of your pieces in band, Blue Sky Horizon, and this one. I find it unbelievable that you can write one of the funest songs to play and listen to, and then write an emotional piece about depression and anxiety, being someone diagnosed with both of those things, this song nearly brpught me to tears the first time we played it, so thanks Mr. Standridge.

[@OpKnees]

I'm From East Canton. This was the best piece we played for our May concert 2022. I love the emotion and the message put into the piece!

[@ozziehall779]

I honestly want to get a measure of the flute solo tattooed someday. This piece is the most powerful I have ever had the privilege of playing.

[@royale_ash4287]

I'm 14, I have been struggling with my mental health for years and this year I'm a freshman in highschool and I play flute. We are playing your song this year and it reminds me of how much I would be missing out on if I had succeeded. We love you Mr.Standrige and thank you so much for creating music and a purpose for me to live ❤❤

[@blackmint9586]

I'm gonna convince my band teacher to let us play this piece. I love the message and it sounds great! Cant wait to play another song on the tbone

[@user-js9cr3um5k]

The community band that play in, just performed this. Very emotional piece, yet, very powerful and beautiful. Honored to perform it.

[@flexeagle433]

Played this song at my concert last night and it was a truly meaningful piece of art

[@Carrotcake_52]

One of the last and best pieces we played before our band director moved away.

[@TaekoYasuhiro_Celestia]

I love the idea of the soloist starting in the audience, I don't know why though.

[@peachy4128]

We played this for all region not that long ago and I cried during the concert. The director made it emotional and I was (still am) going through a rough patch. I really love this 🩷 Thank you all region director and Randall 😭😭

[@user-qf8zz8du1v]

I’m a clarinet in my high school band and when I received this piece for a competition we are competing in I was very amused. I’ve struggled with anxiety and other mental conditions for a couple of years after some trauma and this song brings me to tears truly. It’s written beautifully and displays so many of the hardships people with mental health problems deal with on the daily, from the anxiety ridden beginning to the hopeful and clear end this piece is certainly a wonderful creation. (P.S. love the woodwind emphasis, we don’t get it that often in concert or competition pieces but you did it wonderfully!) Thank you.

[@Nightshade-Aurora]

Just got to concert this as a high school bass clarinetist. Astounding work, well done. Love the message.

[@t3achers.p3t]

I'm in middle school and my symphonic band had played this last night during our band concert. It's such a beautiful song, genuinely. I had tried to commit in December, which I think was aimed towards everyone at my school who has had these kind of experiences. I almost started crying when I heard this song. It's amazing! Thank you, genuinely, for making this

[@skeletonstudios5091]

The high school band played this and when I first heard it, I was almost in tears. I have friends who struggle with depression and I have myself, and this piece is so moving and so powerful. Thank you for composing this piece.

[@randallstandridge]

Thank you for listening to it

[@THEREALNICOEL]

This song is just the mood

[@supersharkgaming6952]

I’m in a middle school band and we are playing this it is such a good song

[@SeungminsSunshine]

Same

[@maddybierma1322]

We recently played this and it was a really fun experience, i go the LCWM school.

[@thecoasterscorpion]

this by far is my favorite piece to play. I have a concert coming up and I'll be playing this. I struggle with anxiety, and honestly, I feel empowered by this. I'm honored to play the flute solos in this piece too. thank you for creating this!

[@zacharyalexander6426]

My band director gave us this for our spring concert and it's honestly my new favorite piece. I lost someone close to me to suicide about 10 years ago so this is a close one to me

[@ItsAdelineGrace]

Oboe solo in a grade 3 song?! That's crazy!!! Thanks, Randy Standy!

[@dfwplanespotters_yt]

I'm playing this as a middle schooler (8th grade), going to Carnegie Hall, for easter in March of 2024. It was meant for high schoolers only, but I audtioned and made it in. I love this peice, and the Alto Sax. part is awesome!

[@martinat3884]

We played this song at my 8th grade concert, heard you made a video for us from our band teacher, we haven't seen it yet though because not everyone's been in.

[@royce3795]

I'm in middle school had a recent suicide and we're playing this in honor of best friend Aaron Lepird.❤

[@randallstandridge]

Please accept my condolences on the loss of your friend

[@royce3795]

Thank you ❤️

[@poyokki]

i played this for a spring concert in middle school, we only had about 2-4 weeks to learn it but we put the work on and (in my opinion,) was by far the best performance in that concert,, we got a standing ovation and some lady shouted “YES!!!” at the end 😭 i couldnt keep the smile off my face

[@scoops-x]

Currently in freshman (Grade 9) and performing this piece with my concert band. I'm not one for sappy words, but I was completely enamoured by this piece. As someone who's been struggling with depression and suicide, this encompassed all the inner turmoil I felt, it was beautiful. This is a great piece that presents heightening anxiety, loneliness, and companionship. 10/10 ^_^

[@grace_ly]

my bd chose this piece and then about two months later an art teacher at our school died unexpectedly from cancer. she meant a lot to our school. this piece holds so much emotion. thank you so much.

[@thecooldude101]

I’m in JH playing this and I had family who died from suicide and friends who’s uncles died from suicide and my teachers uncles died from suicide thank you for creating this and I can’t wait to play this full song

[@Paper.Scraps]

"good ol' randy standy" -my band director lmao ok but seriously im playing this song in my symphonic band and honestly, i love it. i deal with a lot and this song kinda lets me get the feelings out when im playing it.

[@epicmuffin5819]

Legit underrated song!

[@vio9586]

we’re playing this for the last year of middle school band (8th grade) it’s very beautiful and I cried while listening. :)

[@austingamer089]

I am going to play this for a consert this year

[@leeknowsk1tten]

We’re going to play this for my spring concert this year and I’m so scared because I play the flute and flute is so exposed, but this peace is amazing and I absolutely love it. It’s my favorite piece I’ve ever played in band

[@carstenp.5428]

Loved It! So glad you're making more of this project, one of my favorites of yours thus far!!

[@randallstandridge]

Thank you! I’ll be putting the rest of my new releases up ocer the week

[@Hingus5]

Had so much fun playing this at oakland university! It was amazing meeting you. Thank you very much! - Ethan

[@Genevieve.Ganshert]

Im in 7th grade and my band is playing this piece and after playing “On A Hymsong of Phillip Bliss” which I cried while playing every song with this kind of feeling makes me so happy

[@zerogravity2100]

i think you might be in my school 😭 we did that last school year for our spring concert, and this song too

[@GlacierAnims]

My friend graduated yesterday and their highschool band played this song! They played it a bit slowed down, but I LOVE how they played it! W song!

[@tashabags2157]

Playing this for NYSSMA Area-All State band. I was so excited when I pulled the piece out of my folder. It was my dream to play this and it came true.

[@UrDailyJzn]

I’m going to be playing this for my winter concert, and this piece feels like it had such a deep meaning. Thanks for writing this.

[@johnathansecatero2585]

Still to this day, my favorite song ever played along with Beware the Krampus

[@DelightedSkull]

I got to play this in 8th grade band and to say the least it is the hardest piece I’ve ever played

[@shylalongtin916]

In my last concert of my Senior year of high school, I was the flute soloist for all the solos.

[@Clarenckz]

This piece is amazing, you are conducting me this year for MSASB in South Dakota, and I look forward to working with you!

[@objectshowzz]

i’m a 7th grader who was invited into honor band early due to stellar playing. 5:38 still makes me tear up 🥹

[@Lucas-yh2fm]

i thought i didnt like the clarinet part but its actually great

[@Isaactoast5]

Measures 38-89 are pure perfection

[@Romulator875]

playing this at my next concert and it's very enjoyable and fun to play and has a great message. Very cool! :D

[@randallstandridge]

Thank you, Ember

[@maxonhollins4444]

I love this song at the fast beat sounds like the GOW franchise

[@dmitrishostakovich7561]

I played this in 7th grade in the French Middle School Band with the Topeka West High School Band and I was the 1st Trombonist.

[@randallstandridge]

I hope everyone enjoyed it!

[@greenegggirl6446]

I'm going to play this song in Chicago in December. I'm so excited!

[@txpkrbkr]

LETS GO ACMS HONORS BAND WE GOT OUR CONCERT SOONN

[@NotMaddy137]

YEAAAAA ACMS

[@NotZach4253]

This is one of my favorite songs composed by you and I can’t wait to play it at The 77th Annual Midwest Clinic with the Arbor Creek Middle School Band

[@txpkrbkr]

LETS GO ACMSSSSS WE GOT A WEEK LETS GO

[@NotMaddy137]

AY?!? SAME

[@ivyart3737]

"no percussionists were harmed in the making of this video" 😂

[@JoMamaRoach]

My middle school band is playing this

[@Maynard_ferguson]

Played this in middle school

[@royce3795]

Love this song is this song published on Spotify if yes what is the title

[@user-vy5mc4xw5u]

Keller Middle School Wind Ensemble Peeps who played this 🥶

[@k.k.kacmarynski5135]

i’m in Juniorhigh and we have the best junior high band in my state but my school really struggles with mental health so we are playing another son in this group called Fragile and i got the flute solo on it. you should go check it out. i have to stop myself from crying every time we play it

[@maye2316]

Measure 97: 4:25 Measure 17: 1:17

[@mercy1262]

Hey I have been trying to find a song I saw people play it was like a 10 minute song that started with that clock bell instrument thing then a bass drum roll which sounded awesome and I’m trying to find the song could you help me?

[@shmuelgurr8361]

clockwork by eric peele should be what you're looking for, its a pretty cool percussion ensemble piece

[@waltermentz8959]

(I play snare this comment is for myself, ignore it) 2:17 bar 36 before snare solo 3:20 bar 75 before bar 78 hard part

[@obi-wankenobi7782]

1:02 He definitely got that from Kung Fu Panda.

[@starzzixx]

I play the timpani for this song in band!

[@starzzixx]

I got the solo part and the beginning down but I’m still figuring out most of it lol

[@bobbydworm]

2:22

[@bobbydworm]

3:26

[@braxtonpoe8603]

I played timpani for this song in 8th grade. It was the pest part I've ever had.

[@justflynova920]

It sounds kinda like fragile

[@ozziehall779]

IIRC that is the point! Standridge wanted all different skill levels to be able to play something that conveys this message, so there are 3 different pieces at 3 different difficulty levels all containing similar musical motifs.