unBroken (Randall Standrige, Wind Ensemble, Grade 5)

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During my childhood, my mother suffered a complete nervous breakdown and psychotic break with reality.
Before this happened, there were many warning signs that she was experiencing mental health issues. There were moments when she would cry for no discernable reason, when her mood and character would change in an instant, and moments when she would seem withdrawn from everyone. However, these were infrequent and, as so, we all assumed that she was fine. She was not fine.
Unknown to us, and even to herself, our mother was battling depression. Growing up in the time period when they did, both of our parents had been conditioned to see mental health problems as sources of shame, signs of weakness, and a failing of character. Due to this, they did not seek help even though they both knew something was wrong. The pressure built, the problems multiplied, and finally, one day, it all became too much for her to bear. My mother’s breakdown was so severe that she was hospitalized for over a year. It was a terrifying ordeal as my two brothers, my father, and I watched her battle this crippling illness. However, there are two things that I will never forget from that time. First, I remember my mother’s strength in fighting her way back to us. And second, I remember my father’s unwavering faith and fidelity to her as he stood by her side, kept the household together, and cared for both her and us as best he could.
Their bond did not break.
Our family did not break.
After this experience, the taboo of discussing mental health was removed from our household. My mother was diagnosed with severe depression and, upon returning home, started proper treatment for her condition. Any time she would begin to experience the onset of a particularly bad episode, she sought the help she needed and managed to prevent another such breakdown. As with anyone who lives with depression, she has good days and bad days, but the fear of identifying as a person with a mental health issue and the stigma surrounding it has been lifted. My father is still by her side, supporting her in any way she needs, just as he always has during their 50+ years of marriage.
The title of this work, unBroken, is in reference to three things. First, is a description of my mother, who has learned to manage her illness and thrive in spite of it. Second, it is a reference to our family, and how both my father and mother worked to ensure that it remained whole. My parents are my heroes, and I am not shy about saying it. Their strength and this experience has also made me completely unafraid to utter the following statement:
My name is Randall Standridge, and I live with depression.
Third, many people throughout the world experience mental illness. Too many are afraid of what others will think and what may happen to their relationships, their jobs, and their families if they seek help. They are afraid that they will be seen as “weak”, “defective”, or “broken.” It is my hope that this work may provide a starting place for productive discussions and be another tool that will help knock down the social barriers that prevent those that need help from seeking it. This piece of music is dedicated to my parents, Ron and Shirley Standridge, and to all of the people and families who live with the challenges of mental illness.
Lastly, to those who may be experiencing similar problems, please know this:
You are not weak.
You are not defective.
You are not broken.
Peace, Love, and Music
-Randall Standridge, April 30, 2021
Please check out the other works in the unBroken Project:
Fragile: • Fragile (Randall Stand...
Blue Sky Horizon: • Blue Sky Horizon (Rand...
(not) Alone: • (not) Alone - Randall ...
Choose Joy: • Choose Joy (Randall St...

[@gugg2216]

For those that havent, PLEASE take your time to read the description of this. It truly encapsulates the impact and correlation this piece has to mental struggles. It's beautiful yet tragic.

[@c13127]

I've never heard a more accurate representation of the journey of mental illness than this piece! Thank you for telling your family's story through this beautiful work!

[@justarandomhuman8784]

I just listened to this song played by the top symphonic band in our school, and I was sitting next to my friends. After hearing why the song was created. That message of depression kept ringing through my head during the song, I was holding back tears throughout the entire song. Then, at the end. I just cried.

[@shiyishunya_testing]

I cried too.

[@porkquad]

Still can't believe you woke up one day and were just like "Yeah, I guess I'll just make a bunch of some of the best yet underrated scores ever for a school band" truly amazing

[@randallstandridge]

Thank you!

[@milesclarke7085]

I would give my life to be able to conduct this piece or paint to it or dance to it full out that's how... emotional it is

[@anishraja9655]

Mr Standridge, I don't think I've been moved more by a SINGLE PIECE OF MUSIC more than unBroken. Simply brilliant.

[@Anthony-th7tr]

You are the reason why I want to become a composer in music. I grew up playing your music and have always loved it. Thank you for doing what you do and hopefully one day I can write something cool

[@randallstandridge]

Thank you, Anthony

[@nathanaelquimby3606]

The combination of listening to the piece and reading the comment brought me to tears. This is the first piece to do that. Composition and arrangement was and still is a big part of my life, so give it your all if you want it to be a big part of yours. Don’t be afraid to make some mistakes along the way, that’s how we get better. My biggest advice is to not be afraid to ask questions about certain thing sections can and cannot do with your fellow students or band members around you, or even asking around in places like this, Anthony. Thank you for writing this piece Randall. The Weber State University Symphonic Band is performing this on our concert titled the same, on the 24th of this month. It seems so close yet so far away. We make heavens and hells with our words, and even more so with our music. So I’m glad that I have the opportunity to be apart of an ensemble that gets to play it.

[@ljhlax]

My daughter’s middle school band played (not) alone last night and it literally brought tears to my eyes. I’ve battled depression my entire adult life and unfortunately my middle schooler started her battle this year and it was a very rough year for the both of us, but here we are at the end of the school year, both alive, healthy and able to hug each other after her performance. I’m so glad that she has had band as a creative outlet for such beautiful expression. No song better encompasses the journey through a mental health challenge. Randall Standridge, thank you for this beautiful music.

[@milesclarke7085]

My school’s band played this and I cried because I have never heard something that… so accurately encapsulates the highs and the lows of having mental illness or dealing with someone who has mental illness. Some parts gave me chills, and it just… is literal perfection there is no other word to describe it. I could listen to the percussion and the low brass all day and all night and the feeling… the EMOTION… the images (I have synesthesia) and the tingles I would get inside my brain would never subside. It is… it truly is perfection.

[@darthnosam3313]

I’ve cried performing this song

[@milesclarke7085]

@@darthnosam3313 Months later this song is making me near sob in class

[@DelilahWinter16430]

What are some of the images you get while listening to this?

[@dihydrogenmonoxide6231]

the solo at 9:24 makes me proud to be a clarinetist

[@erickcruz9608]

Currently playing the first flute and solo part for this piece. I have to say, this piece is so gorgeous and completely evocative of the complex and often unspoken journey of mental illness. I like that it has a hopeful resolution with bit of an ominous wind, as we don't know when those feelings will return to the surface. Thank you for composing this piece. It's been an absolute pleasure rehearsing it before our concert in a couple of weeks. Please never stop composing.

[@m4rvin145]

How did you master the rly tricky fast section with all of the fast fingers and crazy rythyms

[@ethanol3800]

Thank you so much, Randall. Youve opened my eyes and showed me that no matter what, I am not alone, and I have people on my side. Nothing is more accurate than what Im going through than this right now. I wish to perform this, right now my Concert Band can perform your other great piece (not)Alone. Thank you, Randall.

[@jacobbrelsford]

Mr. standridge you always know what's up!

[@randallstandridge]

Thank you, Jacob!

[@user-wh4th6ri6d]

Performing (not) Alone for the 2nd time in two years today, so I finally had to listen to the rest of the songs

[@SiesVE]

My little brother's high school band got the opportunity to play with Weber State University's band. We got to hear Weber State play this piece and it was beautiful. My brother has fallen in love with it and is now wanting to try and play the piece. I think it really resonated with him because he has some issues with anxiety and he really connected to the way the piece flowed.

[@Can_of_Monster]

Oh my god, this music hits HARD. You are an amazing composer and look forward to listening to/playing more of you music

[@ParableVisionOfficial]

Playing this piece for a concert tomorrow and I just wanna say that this piece is astounding. The message behind it is emotional and it has great meaning. It’s also just incredibly fun to play as a French horn player. Good job on this

[@f0rnarnia]

one of our bands played this recently. it was incredible, and i was sitting there trying not not bawl my eyes out because this piece *really* resonated with me. just a year ago, i was in a really bad place and i struggled with horrible depression. this song really captures that feeling so well and i felt closure after listening to it. i am in a much better place now, and im doing so much better. thank you for this.

[@darthnosam3313]

I was sitting there playing this piece crying. Playing this piece and practicing it for over 6 months, I became really emotionally attached while also going through a tough time , and this piece really resonated with me.

[@trumpetchick558]

I wish my mum and her mum were still alive so I could share this piece of music, and the life story behind it. My mum and gran both had mental health issues, and dealt with them differently due to the difference of generation, but also my mum seeing how her mum's behaviour impacted on those around her. My mum was open about mental health - we visited nan in hospital, mum explained it was likely I'd have mental health issues, which I do, but not as severely. Music is a great outlet (dancing, playing and conducting) for me, but it is also a great mood supporter. Thank you for being such an open, honest and humane composer - the world needs more artists who are willing to bring the "dark" topics into the light. The world also needs more bands brave enough to take on these works and start these conversations in their schools and local communities.

[@ethansucksatcuphead]

sending this to my band director to see if we can play this someday. we've already played rukus (which as a percussionist was fun as hell) and are playing choose joy at our next concert. it'd be amazing to do this piece. absolute chills

[@Goof_the_percussionist]

We’re playing Elemental in band for our concert! It’s really cool!

[@40wolfmarim95]

This piece, is amazing. I never had a piece talk to me the way this piece has. Its like its talking to me. Telling me that there is hope at the end of hurting and tribulation and failing over and over again. Its truly a masterpiece and deserves all the recognition in the world. Thank you, for this piece, for opening the eyes of so many people with this piece, reminding them that theyre not alone.

[@cilantro5221]

This is the source material for the opener and closer of my high schools show, it’s very difficult, but it encapsulates the theme of the show very well.

[@eeerrr7745]

I love how this piece doesn’t resolve at the end note, almost out of tune to show how Standridge’s journey isn’t over

[@mr.mstricksandtipsinmathpi4228]

my school is going to play this at the opener next school year and I am so excited this is going to be a great piece to try to play technically and musically

[@darthnosam3313]

This is a very challenging piece, I played the horn part. The fast section is so so hard it’s like 150 bpm really fast rythym, and rips of Fortisissimo so FFF with a Credcendo after, and there were 7 other French horns! This piece actually gave me tinnitus. The rest of it is still challenging, it’s also challenging to play piece while your also crying at the same time.

[@mintyfrxxh]

this is our show theme for our marching band!!! its so good and it sounds amazing

[@randallstandridge]

Which band?

[@mintyfrxxh]

@@randallstandridge woodbridge high!

[@imromero6599]

This piece is absolutely beautiful. We sight read this piece earlier in the week and oh my gosh… I feel the emotions and intentions and I hear colors, and the colors are so BEAUTIFUL! But when the dissonance comes it, it makes sense!!! Amazing job. I can’t wait to perform this soon

[@RonanBodisch]

7:36 low brass😩😩😩

[@joeypercussion4617]

This is a beautiful piece, you really are inspiring me into going into music

[@shortstacks592]

This is SO good! You always make masterpieces! And you give horn parts such cool parts! ❤❤

[@emmaandemily8997]

this is my absolute favorite piece to play in wind ensemble… it is such a good representation of mental illness, the even better part is the full series.

[@symphony_suits2578]

We are playing this in the Sterling Municipal Band right now! Absolutely GORGEOUS piece!! I am so in love with playing it!! Thank you so much💜

[@MemeGamerBoi]

Speechless

[@AdamCurtis-es4fr]

Randall, Thank you so much. I can really relate.

[@randallstandridge]

Thank you for listening.

[@onebigbaconnoob4150]

after playing both choose joy and not alone for my hs winter concert, every theme from those songs in my head constantly (they're on my playlist), everytime one plays i feel like that gif of Leonardo DiCaprio pointing at the tv

[@PurifiedWaterB]

This honestly makes me proud to be a horn player. Enjoyed this piece so much. We played trills, amazing features, and awesome triplets.

[@darthnosam3313]

I’ve also performed this piece as a horn player. We had 7 French Horns!! 7! This piece gave me tinnitus I’m not kidding. Man that fast section is so difficult. We played this at a conference where we performed in front of all of the music teachers in the state of Utah, we also played with 6 other pieces at the same time. I don’t think I’ve ever worked so hard for something in my life than preparing for that performance. As a whole, our band and myself got so emotionally attached to this music. I cried I think twice during that.

[@PurifiedWaterB]

@@darthnosam3313 i loved the fast part. i graduated along with 1 other horn player. we both left our only horn so she needs to carry haha. she’s actually super good but yeah we only had 3 horns but we still made our mark for sure!

[@dailydwarf5775]

This is sick To bad I have not a clue how to play anything of that

[@darthnosam3313]

It’s a very challenging piece. The most difficult piece of music I’ve ever had in my High school band experience

[@minovies]

I love how this is a kind of remix of Not Alone it’s awesome!

[@windowbar]

Actually im pretty sure this piece came first and not alone was made so that younger ensembles could play it or smth

[@anishkodali1625]

No percussionists were harmed in the making of this video 🤣

[@liammcfalda9037]

Randall, why do have to guest conduct at my school when I graduate? 😢 (Muir Middle School)

[@beastcollin1196]

This peice is insanely cool and my band the Wiley middle school band Aka (2023 cc Texas honor band) posibley might play this at the TMEA convention in SanAntonio

[@obinnanwakwue5735]

came here after learning that this got added to the UIL PML

[@3Exile]

What’s the high-pitched instrument on 8:49 ?

[@penguinmycat6135]

clarinet :)

[@xeon2773]

Do you mean that eighth note thing in the background? Sounds like a piccolo but theres nothing written in that part on the score which is weird

[@3Exile]

@@penguinmycat6135no not the long note, those screeching eighthnotes

[@jackiechoate6163]

cool beans

[@alexvaladez3641]

u should collab wit Tielman susato and produce a Renaissance piece

[@FLTZY_]

9:14

[@jackiechoate6163]

oh sorry about that my kid typed in something , peace out