The Problems with Body Positivity

[@maximum7790]

the main problem with body positivity now is that its so focused on proving everyone is beautiful so they can be worthy of respect instead of trying to dismantle the idea that you need to be perceived as beautiful to be respected. of course feeling beautiful is important especially when ur someone that is judged « undersirable » by society. but its not the end goal you should be as respected and valued as your more « typically attractive » peers

[@bannedmann4469]

Bern saying this for ages. It accidentally promotes vanity. You say this as a guy and you get all the buzzwords thrown at you. Most of y'all don't listen to the message, just who or what it's coming from.

[@maximum7790]

@@bannedmann4469 who is "yall"

[@vaneabarca]

@@bannedmann4469 who is bern

[@Mallika99]

so true!! And you’re also allowed to treat yourself with kindness and compassion, follow your dreams, demand respect for yourself… even when you DON’T feel beautiful. There’s too much of reliance on feeling sexy and beautiful

[@taakaashi]

​@@bannedmann4469 8pl0o0o0 look ol0❤oll0

[@chamber4]

So despite my feelings on the series... in season 2 of Euphoria when all of the woman are screaming at Kat "Love yourself" over and over it really really got to me that "body positivity" screams you should love yourself but doesn't tell you how to love yourself or why so people struggle with self love regarding their bodies

[@zariaackermann3147]

I've never seen euphoria but that sounds so cult-y

[@moncheri000]

@@zariaackermann3147 LMAOO you couldn’t have described it better

[@chamber4]

​@@zariaackermann3147 oh it was depicted as such. The scene was all in the characters head but it still stuck out to me about how it reflected reality

[@Kirsten4260]

I freakin love that scene

[@phosphenevision]

you don't even need to love your body you can just accept it and grow more comfortable with it being yours and that's enough

[@berriexcream]

My problem is the fact that YOURE ALLOWED TO FEEL INSECURE you’re allowed to want to workout you’re allowed to do things. You don’t have to be 100% confident all the time

[@v4i.4li]

Exactly, not everyone is 100% confident and that’s okay. Some days you might feel 100% confident and then the next day you feel maybe 30% or even 0% confident! There’s nothing wrong with feeling insecure as long as you do not project onto others then you’re good. Like you said, you’re allowed to feel insecure. I agree with you 100% :)

[@chinazorokeke5248]

This 💯

[@slowrunn3r88]

THIS RIGHT HERE!!!!!!

[@adrianajenna555]

YES

[@CaptainMuzzle]

I SECOND TJIS STATEMENT.

[@alyceelric9469]

My problem with the body positivity movement is that as a big girl. I get kind of shamed for wanting to not be

[@saransh255]

feels like a crabs in a bucket scenario tbh, the people who don't want to put in the effort pulling others down for wanting to do something..

[@lisdexamphetamine]

yeah, wanting to lose weight isn't always a bad thing. it's really down to your mindset. if someone wants to lose weight for health that's fine. it's just that BP has a lot of people who struggle/d with disordered eating of all kinds, so when someone says "weight loss" they think of it through the lens of an ED, wether they mean to or not.

[@someone2447]

I got called fatphobic for losing weight lol like yes bitch, I'm scared of dying early

[@honeypot9867]

I agree. In the BPC bigger girls in particular (very rarely guys for some reason) Are called fatphobic or harmful to others for wanting to lose weight or for working out specifically with that goal in mind IMO, it’s completely normal for you not to be 100% confident. You should love yourself for the person you are on the inside, the smart, caring, friend, generous, etc. Person that you are. And love that person enough to take care of them. Taking care of your mental health is the first step. Then choose how you want to treat that persons body. If you want to workout and eat at a calorie deficit, then that’s your business. Idk, I hope this world start treating you kinder. I feel like people on the internet sometimes forget there’s a real person behind that screen and it makes them feel invincible. Which isn’t fair to you Lots of love to you. I hope you find what your looking for and one day learn to tune out anyone who tells you that your insecurities are wrong to have, because your only human. We all feel down in ourselves, and that’s ok. People are very resilient, so even if your confidence isn’t always at 100%, you can rest easy knowing that your personality and the way you treat others is what matters most in the end anyways. ❤❤

[@honeypot9867]

@@someone2447 lol, I love that response. I don’t understand some ppl in the BP community. They preach how you shouldn’t comment on someone else’s body but when someone is trying to lose weight, all of a sudden it’s ok to comment on their body and how their fatphobic for losing weight. Its so hypocritical it’s comedic. Anyways, thanks for listening to my Ted talk, I’m happy to hear those people didn’t get to you and you still chose to choose yourself over what others think. Lots of love to you, I wish you the best ❤

[@EllRoseMeakin]

Body positivity is the arguement people use when asking if I have an ED. They literally insist I should love my natural body While shaming my natural body. The movement is an overall good idea. But it is usually being used in the wrong ways.

[@dweeb4]

Yeah definitely. Not speaking for the whole movement, but there is also a frightening presence of rlly harsh attitudes towards EDs in a lot of body positivity spaces. Like it’s become socially acceptable to an extent to bash and taunt ppl with restrictive EDs in particular as if they aren’t afflicted with extreme mental illnesses. Ridiculing someone for their depression or anxiety would never fly in the same groups of people- it’s quite the double standard.

[@berriexcream]

Fr. It’s “love yourself authentically but also you look like a troll. Kys.”

[@oldaccount746]

@@dweeb4 i suspect it's secret jealousy... they don't see the potentially anorexic person as struggling but rather hate them because they have something they don't have.

[@JustMeAri]

​@@oldaccount746I kinda agree. And I say this as an obese girl with ED. I'm jealous of my previous body, it's like I see my past me as someone else, so I kinda relate to that. But I can see there's a lot of fat girl that are jealous and I totally notice cause I also understand why they do that. It's really toxic. I know some of them do it, not all of them. And I also reasonate with this in another way: I've got large breasts and I've heard a lot of women saying bad things about this part of my body and pretending they're worried or other things, even though it's a part of my body I kinda like and I've got no problems at all. (Idk if it makes sense, sorry if it doesn't, I can explain myself better if someone didn't get it)

[@kaisetic3150]

i definitely agree! i feel like the body positivity movement also stigmatizes restrictive EDs so much too. There are so many people who make fun of people with ana or bulimia while talking about fat acceptance as if having an ed is being on a diet. It's wild because a lot of times, restrictive EDs aren't even about trying to feel more pretty. personally, my eating disorder isnt about feeling pretty, i think you can be gorgeous no matter how big you are. My ED is about the fact that i feel like if I eat too much I'm a failure. The point I'm trying to make is that not only do I always see people looking at skinny girls and saying "she must have ana" or "stop body checking", but i also see people making jokes like "when I see a bitch crying over her burger when I'm already halfway through my seconds" (which is a real TikTok ive seem by the way) and it's WILD to me, because i feel like if anyone made fun of basically any other mental disorder that openly it would be a massive problem. I just feel like people don't see things like Ana as a serious mental disorder

[@manizaanwar7502]

tbh, body neutrality was a lot easier for me to achieve personally. i used to be so worried about my appearance a few years ago and i still don't think i'm that beautiful or anything, but my body and the stuff it can do? it's so incredibly beautiful to me. i can walk, i can move my hands and i'm being able to type this rn.. my body does so much for me and i'm grateful to have her function properly :') i'm probably not making any sense ahah, but i loved ur take on this! perfectly described what i've been feeling nowadays

[@taco_boi1167]

thats so sweet im so glad you found something that works for you :))

[@DJwimbles]

Makes plenty sense.

[@Jadeddoxy]

Samee

[@owelzknudtson610]

I reached a state of body neutrality naturally by doing meditative things like yoga, not taking selfies as a result of cutting out most social medias, and not looking in mirrors. The less you perceive the outer layer of the self and the more you delve into the inner physical self, the more your perspective shifts. Especially when you get a health scare and you realize that proper bodily function is wonderful!!

[@bento7062]

A big problem with body positivity that I personally have is how it actually made me more insecure. I, for example, didnt realize hip dips are generally considered a “bad thing”. I honestly hadnt even noticed I had them. That was, until I started seeing posts like “Remember hip dips are normal and beautiful 🥰🥰”. Which imply there are people which think the opposite… and I started to think theyre not as normal as i thought. Its the same exact story with so many other aspects of my body. Stretch marks, cellulite, uneven tits, all things I really didnt pay any mind to until I started to get videos shoved down my throat that told me to “not listen to anyones criticism! theyre beautiful 😍😍🥰” People only make those videos for things that are generally seen as bad. I didnt know they were, and so all those videos did was just make me insecure about new aspects of my body

[@lisawithans-vx9lt]

same but w/ big forehead. ive never seen it as a problem before these "5 celebrities with BIG foreheads😨 who are STILL beautiful🥰" videos and now im literally thinking about it 24/7

[@bento7062]

@@lisawithans-vx9lt Exactly!! I know most body-positivity influencers mean well but its honestly just having the opposite effect TT

[@poooopoo]

EXACTLY I'm so glad you said this

[@pmzaii]

Fr tho like they talked about how Indian skin is beautiful and I never realized it wasn’t so I got super insecure

[@Ava-t4y]

Same 😭😭🥲

[@squidmom3162]

You know, I’d never heard of body neutrality, but I think it’s an ideal I needed. I’ve always had a really low opinion of my body, which has gotten better over the years, but body positivity suddenly becoming a thing was really honestly scary. Like all the work I put in to hide the parts of my body I feel shame over was completely pointless. One thing the body positivity movement rarely ever touches is the subject of scars, and I have too many to count. So it kind of always felt like “I guess everyone thinks I look attractive now, except that one thing I’m most self conscious about.” Not having to acknowledge the way those scars will never disappear completely, and that stretch marks would be far from the most jarring part of me? That it doesn’t matter how my arms or legs look as long as they can still function? I feel like that’s something I need to focus on myself. Even though I have many disabilities that heavily restrict what I’m physically capable of doing, the fact that I can still move and dress myself and do basic things that I need to in order to be able to survive, feels a lot more viable than having to try and find beauty in a body that I feel ashamed of.

[@IsraelLlerena]

Why do I see a lot of gay pilots on tinder? It’s honestly wild how many I’ve seen

[@bonbonribbonu]

@@IsraelLlerenabye☠️☠️

[@IsraelLlerena]

@@anyweighs lmao did you ever noticed that tho? I literally saw 5 pilots on tinder yesterday. Not complaining at all but like im just saying

[@IsraelLlerena]

@@bonbonribbonu they’re either are a pilot or love hiking. That’s in like every profile fjdhdhs it’s all cool tho

[@anyweighs]

@@IsraelLlerena they’re tryna sneak into heaven by plane 🥰 (don’t come for me yall i’m gay 😭)

[@LazyDuckGamerOnPluto]

UR CONSISTENCY ERA?!??

[@maloo23]

GIRLIE SHES BEEEEEEN CONSISTENT

[@bannedmann4469]

Pfft lol shots fired.

[@LazyDuckGamerOnPluto]

@@bannedmann4469 wdym?

[@rinapop2681]

Saying "eveyone is beautiful" is such a simplistic way of looking at things, isn't it placing too much value on beauty? Why do we have to be beautiful? Also this toxic positivity rarely addresses the erasure of disabled bodies

[@timeea.i19]

​@@MissDetective7377honestly, personality changes the appearance. There was this girl when i was younger, conventionally pretty but actually beautiful too. Well, her mum was such a karen and with time she turned into her mum so much so that each semester she seemed to get more and more unattractive. She is so ugly now and i'm not the only one who thinks it. It's all because of what she acts like, her appearance just changed due to the personality. It works in reverse too. An ok looking person can be so handsome when they have charisma, good jokes, wits etc

[@-cat_in_space-]

@@MissDetective7377 i mean its only you who says that but ok

[@Zarmdthecoolest]

​@@-cat_in_space- people get tattoos. People dress in ways that fit their personality. People who are more outgoing are more likely to go on walks/jogs, and will have a different posture than people who are shy. People have haircuts. All that to communicate that I also say that, as it is true.

[@ok-yd4ep]

3:32 ‘ i’ve been insecure my whole life, and all of a sudden i’m supposed to see myself as beautiful!? ‘ SO TRUE

[@CuriusGorg]

Your body shouldn't be judged by petty matters like if your ass is fat or not, it should be seen as beautiful for just existing. The fact we have bodies to protect us, move us, and present our essense that is our personality, is such an incredible concept if you think about it.

[@amarelric6051]

That revoked pretty privilege bit was simply genius! Someone should make a movie starting from that idea! And your acting was stellar, as always

[@prexytheartist]

That's what I've been thinking! It was such a good concept for a movie

[@lovelymill]

true af, i loved this pars so much

[@Aldi-Offical]

theres one about that actually!

[@prexytheartist]

@@Aldi-Offical please tell us what's the name of the movie

[@Aldi-Offical]

@@prexytheartist It's one from Asia, I remember watching a summary somewhere.

[@bespectacledheroine7292]

Self-respect >>>>> self-love. I've said it for years.

[@dice412]

Respectfully how is that not the same thing. Loving yourself is something so many people in society just give up on because they see everything as an enemy. Obviously you can acknowledge you might not like ur body right now but don’t just be okay with it and give up..

[@Miscellaneous_master]

@@dice412 being loved and being respected and two different things. You can love someone to death but sometimes you won’t respect their boundaries or feelings because you’re blinded by your love of them. Respect however is when you acknowledge that they have boundaries and allow them to set it, self respect is not allowing yourself to be taken advantage of in the name of love.

[@kenyanicholas6809]

Good thing I have neither 🥸🤩

[@thegreenmanofnorwich]

Body positivity at its most aggressive can be like telling a depressed person to "just feel better".

[@elizz_n4294]

i need “i’m just made of matter, baby” on a tshirt 😭

[@martacastillo6272]

I'm at this odd place at 21 where I think I'm body neutral, I don't feel ugly, but I wouldn't consider myself "oh so beautiful", I just feel okay. I used to worry a lot about how I looked in my teens, but now whenever I put on an outfit I like I try not to think so much of if someone considers me pretty, telling myself that the fact that I put on something I like is enough and I don't need outside agreement to affirm it. I've met a lot of very pretty people who I have come to realize are not as attractive when I get to know them, and people who in my eyes become more attractive once I get to know them better. I want to focus on being sure of myself as a person instead of relying off of if I look visually pleasing, because then the person who will finally be attracted to me will find me attractive because of that hehe. For now I think I give off a very unsure of everything vibe, so it's keeping me single😃👍🏼

[@terdragontra8900]

Don't worry, lots of lots of other people are unsure of everything too, so they'll relate to you and you can bond over that

[@arjit.ab.bansal]

"I'm positive that you will love your body after making some changes to it" 👁️👄👁️

[@chaiguro]

there's always people saying "love yourself no matter what! be happy!", however it's not as easy as that,insecurity can't just magically go away even if you say "no one will judge you" ,insecurities come from your own mind, it's you own mind convincing you that you're ugly or fat or anything of the sort, it takes time for insecurities to fade away.

[@hamstersareswag]

exactly! thank you for this!

[@dice412]

That’s true but I always saw body positivity as helping overcome those insecurities. I don’t think body neutrality should be the end goal because even if insecurities don’t magically go away you shouldn’t give up on trying to feel confident in your own body

[@chaiguro]

@@dice412 fair point! no one deserves to feel like that. it's just that i, as someone who body-wise doesn't fit the beauty standard, get kinda tired of seeing all the same posts and stuff,it kinda makes me feel stupid in a way lmao so that's why I kinda have a slightly dark grey view on posts like that

[@Miscellaneous_master]

@@dice412 body neutrality is better than forcing yourself to be confident 24/7 and telling the whole world how much you love yourself.

[@Moon-vf3lh]

LMAO, THE WAY SHE EXPLAINS EVERYTHING, THE JOKES ARE KILLING ME💀💀💀

[@thaliakittycake8496]

the amount of guilt the body positive movement creates is worse than the one society forces on us. it’s so much easier to change myself rather than be forced to love myself. they don’t tell you how to love yourself, messed up beauty standards at least tell you what to do

[@idkyou4733]

“Speed walking with my matcha in my hand because I’m gay” I felt that in my soul 😂 On a serious note, it’s incredibly hard for women to view themselves as beautiful when we are constantly being told by society that no matter what we do to try to be beautiful it is never enough and there is always something more we could be doing. And being a conventional “pretty” white female, blonde hair, blue eyes yet still struggling with body dysmorphia, I can’t even imagine what it’s like for women of color and women with disabilities. Plus, I remember an interview with the Brooklyn-99 cast where Stephanie Beatriz thought she wouldn’t get cast since they had already casted a Latina female (Melissa Fumero) and was shocked when they casted her as well, having 2 Latina females as main roles. It actually was heartbreaking when she talked about that because she was tearing up. White women (and men) literally never have to think about that. Anyways, I really hope Emily does make it into acting because she’s so good at it! But also it would be amazing to see more diversity in mainstream Hollywood because it really is just so many white people and we all know it is not because there is a lack of people of color

[@merakiiiii00139]

ur priviledged af, hope you know that gurl ;-; glad you want diversity :D have a nice day!!!!!

[@BunnyGxre]

Another thing is that body positivity kind of pushes this narrative of subjective beauty while also simultaneously preaching that you should love yourself and see yourself as beautiful, but realistically not everyone is going to be their own type? You don’t have to feel ‘beautiful’ to feel worthy, and body positivity does the same thing as beauty standards by boiling you down to your looks and just covering it with “but it doesn’t matter bc you’re beautiful, and so are you, and so are you, and so are you!”

[@shirendjorgee9320]

I feel like body neutrality can be harder for certain groups than others. For example, disabled peoples’ bodies don’t work ‘properly’, so it must be harder for them to appreciate what their body does for them. Even on a smaller level, it’s harder for WOC, for example Black women, to be body neutral since a lot of our negative racist treatment in society is based on our looks. Our looks are constantly degraded to the point that even toddler black girls consider themselves ugly.

[@Man-ej6uv]

yes! that's a great point and i agree as a disabled person.

[@sodastraw]

so well put!!!

[@thaliakittycake8496]

i agree as someone who’s disabled. it’s really hard to accept something that barely works and is slowly destroying itself

[@whatcanidooo]

I just feel like, my body is not a monolith. I love the it allows me to feel the touch of a loved one, to experience the world when the world feels worth experiencing, to orgasm, to eat good food. I hate that it hurts all the time, and that new parts of it are always breaking, and I dislike that I’ve grown out of my pants after gaining weight recently. To me that makes me feel pretty “neutral” about my body. But when people start to talk about “body neutrality” it sometimes scares me because for me, as someone who is disabled but has never particularly felt societal pressure saying I’m “ugly,” thinking of my body as beautiful has been a way for me to find value in it when I’m otherwise very unhappy in it, whereas thinking of it as “purely functional” just…isn’t gonna lead to feeling happier with it lmao. I guess we all have different struggles

[@natalie0505]

Body neutrality helped me when I was younger, like rather than thinking I hate my legs because they're so skinny, I thought I appreciate my legs because they allow me to walk. However now that I'm older I've developed chronic disease to the point I am disabled. My legs still allow me to walk but other parts of my body don't work like they should. I would think I appreciate my brain for allowing me to live but I get migraines multiple times a month sometimes and I can barely move. I appreciate my stomach for allowing me to eat but my IBS is so intense that I can't eat gluten lactose fructose and a few other restrictions. It's hard to be neutral OR positive about a body that doesn't work the way I want it to. I've had to do a lot of work with a psychologist to get to the point I'm at now - where I can appreciate my body despite my disabilities. In fact I can appreciate my disabilities sometimes too. So what I'm saying is that I agree these movements of body positivity or neutrality can be very hard to adopt if you are chronically ill and/or disabled.

[@sparkyblizz]

5:48 "I'm just made of matter, baby" is a genuinely great quote I love it

[@marvelousTUD]

You’re going to get a lot of backlash and hate for this video, and I just want you to know that YOU ARE NOT A BAD PERSON FOR MAKING THIS. Don’t be afraid to dig in your heels a little bit.

[@kunikuzushi6032]

This feels abit back handed idk😟😭

[@randomgeekcrap]

What are you talking about?

[@kkaebsongg]

why would she be a bad person? obviously not everyone is gonna agree as people are entitled to their own opinions 🤷‍♀️

[@yummyki]

They didn’t even watch the video and are assuming she’s attacking body positivity in general. Prolly just a fatphobic person projecting.

[@nethan]

did you even watch the video

[@dunklechunkle4727]

and another thing is that I just end up getting new insecurities for things I was never insecure about in the first place just from them pointing it out in a tik tok vid like "You don't need to be insecure about your stretch marks theyre beautiful!" And then suddenly I'm aware of my stretchmarks. :|

[@TheOneAndOnlyJuniebug]

Your ad transitions are always so smooth I can't even tell when one's coming. Great video like always! :)

[@Georgemhe]

I really love how at no point the video quality has improved. Makes me feel nostalgic haha ❤ x 😊

[@notevenemily]

LMFAOOOO it’s my brand at this point 😭😭

[@Georgemhe]

Love the consistency. Feel like you would do so well in London

[@requlus]

i agree upon the drawback, that people would still treat you according to whether they see you as beautiful or not. but i think that still happens with body positivity too. if a person really does treat people differently based on their looks, no matter how body positive or neutral you are, they'll continue to do so. i have personally never truly understood or accepted body positivity, because while i see beauty in others, i judge myself with the harshest of criticism - that just in turn makes me a hypocrite. so i truly have loved body neutrality a lot since i discovered it last year or so. my body is just that. a vessel through which i get to experience this world, and in return i gotta take care of it. how it looks is something i can't change, or put in so much effort and time of my life into. it's still tough honestly, but it doesnt make me feel like hypocrite for not always loving what i see in the mirror.

[@michelleh.5225]

I don't believe in body positivity, just being grateful for your health and happiness. Your body is just a vessel for getting through the world. It's really not that complicated. These people are just chronically online and obsessed with social media.

[@skzworlddomination1112]

“I don’t believe in body positivity” THIS AIN’T A RELIGION 😭

[@0XBlondie96X0]

The way I see it, it's the soul inside that truly matters. Being beautiful doesn't mean shit if you're an objectively terrible person. Admittedly I struggle loving who I am inside as much as I do loving my outer appearance at times (its the depression) but I'm working on reminding myself that I'm not all bad, people in my life like me enough to stick with me, but even if that weren't the case I should learn to love myself bc I gotta live with myself no matter what.

[@elruby1107]

Off topic but i wish i had a friend like Emily she is so chill and funny

[@InTheLimbo99]

I saw a post saying things like "your weight doesn't determine your happiness..." which is good, but I also saw "your weight doesn't determine your health" which I think can be a dangerous message.

[@yehooyahoo6861]

It doesn’t though.

[@mhmtakeyatime9000]

@@yehooyahoo6861 It absolutely does.

[@yehooyahoo6861]

@@mhmtakeyatime9000 No, it doesn’t. It CAN, but it’s not always a factor. You’re just factually wrong. Skinny people can be unhealthy. Larger people can be healthy. This is a fact. Which makes the statement factual.

[@dice412]

Yes it can have an effect but only at certain extremes. I do agree that being slightly overweight can impact your health because of bias in the medical world. A lot of people have been misdiagnosed because they were over/underweight so I believe when people say “weight doesn’t determine your health” that’s not what they mean.

[@Zarmdthecoolest]

Everyone is making great points, I'd just like to add that weight can contribute to chronic pain and joint issues in the legs and back. It can also make it harder to exercise because of the extra body someone has to carry, and it's important to move around for mental and physical health. However, both issues depend heavily on the person they affect, and can be mitigated without losing weight. Extra fat has also its benefits, such as improved cushioning and drought, famine and cold resistance :)

[@ariasaber9737]

i feel like body positivity only talks about size/weight. i haven't seen anything much about scars, acne, stretch marks, teeth, ect.

[@Zarmdthecoolest]

I'm sorry, but the things you lumped teeth in with makes it sound like having teeth at all is considered ugly, and that implication is very funny to me. I'm imagining highschool bullies trying to say something like "look at this loser with teeth" but they don't have teeth so they can't even say it. You make a great point and I'm not trying to heckle you.

[@ariasaber9737]

@@Zarmdthecoolest It's fine, this reply actually made me laugh a little so thank you 😂

[@MrXHCx]

Everyone having to believe they're beautiful no matter how they actually feel kind of reminds me of "you can be rich if you work hard."

[@sprootoveralls1450]

dude. that absolutely insanely hard hitting beauty exam skit segwaying perfectly into an ad read. I have SO much respect for you as a writer and actor.

[@susanjohnson6276]

Some of Emily's funniest work yet...just like her last one.

[@michaelmusic201]

being trans it's very frustrating having people tell me to love my body the way it is I just can't and there's nothing wrong with that there's nothing wrong with wanting to make changes to my body that I know will make me happier. Of course, you should love your body and yourself the way you are now because you are worthy of love and respect, but there's also nothing wrong with wanting to improve yourself

[@catz537]

I have gotten closer to body neutrality since COVID started. I used to only wear makeup on my chin because I had acne there, but when we started having to wear masks I stopped wearing makeup. Then the acne cleared up on my chin. Then I started accutane (mostly for my back, not my face) and that pretty much got rid of it. I am not bothered by the way my face looks without makeup most of the time now, and I only ever wear it for fun (I put it on my whole face now, not just my chin). I have also learned to look at my body and not feel any particular way about it - positive or negative - but just to observe it. Even parts I used to dislike, such as my stomach which pokes out a bit further than I wanted. I agree though that body neutrality is much easier for one person to work on for their own body. It's going to be a long long time before all of society stops placing so much value on people's looks.

[@_asyaa]

We all had times when we thought we were insecure, but at that time I realized that I don't have to be perfect or flawless for someone to value me. People generally don't care about what we think is a flaw and they may like you for your thoughts ,conversation, your perspective on things and more.

[@kowloonbroadcast]

i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again - the transitions to sponsored parts and the parts themselves are next level on this channel loool. i never skip them, i just can’t - they’re a valuable part of the aesthetic 😆

[@nadeshnash4506]

You're a gem, love how you handle the topics in your videos. The skits are getting even better 😂😂

[@Lily-ur9cb]

I'm so happy people are finally realizing it!!!! Thank u for having the courage and making this video ❤

[@randomgeekcrap]

Lily you didn't watch the video didn't you

[@Lily-ur9cb]

@@randomgeekcrap I actually did, why?

[@Mallika99]

I think body positivity, while well intentioned, still relies heavily on this ideal state of mind where you’re able to feel so beautiful and sexy irrespective of whether your physical appearance fits what’s stereotypically looked at as beautiful. And that’s great - but there’s WAY too much of reliance on FEELING beautiful as a way to feel worthy. The truth is that you’re allowed to have insecurities and not feel the most beautiful - and yet still show kindness to yourself, still take the steps you need to take to live the life you want and deserve, still advocate for yourself, still look after your mind and body, etc. Feeling sexy isn’t the start and end of your life. It’s okay for it to come and go in waves. It’s really hard to extend that kind of unconditional, consistent acceptance to yourself - while it sounds lovely as an idea. We don’t NEED to be obsessed with the way we look and have zero insecurities in order to value and respect ourselves. Just a quick example - let’s see we know somebody who we personally don’t find too pretty - does that mean we don’t respect them as a person? Does that mean we don’t extend kindness and compassion to them? Does that mean that if we notice we gel really well with them, we wouldn’t want to get to know them and spend time together? Not at all! There’s so much more to people than how attractive we find them. There’s also so much more to you.

[@whoknowsatthispoint7508]

Another issue is that they say everyone should view their body in the same way, without taking into account different ways people want to view themselves. For example, as an asexual person, the concept of thinking of myself as "hot" or "sexy" is very uncomfortable to me, but I feel like I have to or it's some sign I secretly hate myself.

[@the.silly.lizard]

I feel the same I mean I know I am pretty but idc about being "sexy"

[@Pearise]

Same

[@kaioliveira3392]

I have been body neutral all my life and only now can I put it in words.

[@boopdedoop3764]

One of my favourite people in the whole world had a really good take on this: you don't need to be beautiful to be respected. I am not beautiful no matter what. I just am. I deserve respect but not because you think I'm beautiful. We'd exchange outfit pics once to show each other some merch we got from a series we both like. Even in body positivity circles, you wouldn't see her body type or skin type included. Even in the body positivity movement, there are beauty standards to uphold. She introduced me to body neutrality and I've never felt more at peace with myself to think that way. And I never even had concerns about how I look until forced body positivity smacked me in the face a few years ago :// it can work for some but not others

[@Andromeda8100]

It always amazes me how Emily is an advertisement genius, she's the only creator that makes me not skip forward the ad immediately

[@psychopomp5636]

I very much agree. I don't think that I can convince myself that I am beautiful, as I simply do not conform to typical standards of attraction for women. But I can teach myself that I am more important than how I look.

[@Pascal2718]

I seriously not get over how good your acting is in these skits, it's hilarious. Great work!

[@leemonademagic]

i just wanna applaud emily on her incredible acting👏👏👏

[@Oktavia.Von.Stroganoff]

That first part of your skit definitely feels like how I’ve felt during the body positivity movement and how I just can’t get it like some others. Thanks for bringing up the difference between body positivity and body neutrality 💕

[@QHu-kx1tr]

My body insecurity is so bad to the point when someone compliments on my body I literally feel like they’re complimenting me just to make me feel better.

[@pomegranatejelly9767]

One of the most eye rolling things about people who are super into body positivity and shun body neutrality is that they’ll call some people brave and inspiring for calling themselves beautiful and they’ll say things like “yeah” or “nobody cares” to other people who call themselves pretty. They’ll basically admit that some people are less attractive in their eyes or that they see some people as attractive and therefore any insecurities they have suddenly don’t matter. It’s weird and shallow and doesn’t really show a genuine attempt to love and accept others.

[@Arthur.Morgans.Wife114]

Even though there the whole movement of body positivity is meant to prove everybody is beautiful, the beauty standard will always exist. Instead of showing that everyone is beautiful, we need to work on proving that even though you may not be perceived as beautiful through they eyes of the beauty standard, you have a different kind of beauty and a different type of "pretty" but your still pretty.

[@MOONSUN4Life]

Emily stanning Queen Michelle Yeoh is a whole mood and I'm here for it 👑

[@ruiinx]

14:20 no because i cried my eyes out watching your reaction it’s so precious UHHH YOU DESERVE THE WHOLE WORLD EM

[@electricangel3161]

Everything Everywhere all at Once is possibly one of my favorite movies, and I watched it twice already and cried both times. Those Oscar rewards were deserved

[@champ1159]

It was great, Kung fu movies need to make a resurgence

[@russelllukenbill]

Everyone knows that Peter Jackson was robbed and that The Hobbit 15 should have received best picture. Where are my Gregheads at?

[@DankrumStar]

I am 31 and overweight. There are things I struggle to do, because of my weight. My mother is 51, has been overweight my entire life and almost died a couple months ago. Her heart basically tried to give out and the doctors told her “it’s time to be healthy or you will die” At the end of the day, you can love yourself but your heart has to beat babes.

[@lolymop333]

Not to mention, "body positivity" is often weaponized against transgender people struggling with gender dysphoria. Honestly? I don't want to be pretty, I don't want to be handsome, and I DEFINITELY don't want to be hot or sexy. I hate when people veiw me like that. I just want my body to look like my body. I want ither people to see me for who I truly am. Right now I feel like a walking pair of boobs, and I hate it. I want them gone. They're in the way of people seeing ME. I don't care if I look hideous by the time I'm done transitioning. I want to look in the mirror and actually see myself looking back at me. There is only one cure for gender dysphoria: gender affirming care.

[@rudereactions8819]

Love how allot more ppl with a platform are speaking on this❤

[@v3nusf1ytrapp]

people also seem to think body positivity is only for overweight, chubby, thick, etc. girls and completely exclude skinnier girls because they think they can't be insecure and don't get made fun of even though they get remarks like "go eat a hamburger!" "you're like a twig!" "you're so flat." :(

[@randomgeekcrap]

True they struggle as much as + size but there shamed too especially women

[@v3nusf1ytrapp]

@@randomgeekcrap yeah its unfortunate, i also notice when there's skinny models for something people say its not realistic, though that's stupid. they think "realistic" is fat just because they arent skinny

[@skitterly]

Or just skinny girls with other insecurities like acne, scars, hair problems, deformities, or any other issue. Nobody’s perfect and we all got our own insecurities

[@v3nusf1ytrapp]

@@skitterly well said !!

[@msjkramey]

​@@v3nusf1ytrappthe reason that it's not realistic is because most of us aren't skinny. Just look at the rise of overweight people and obesity in "developed" nations. That's what's getting increasingly common right now

[@luuuu4175]

what happened to me is that with the body positivity movement there were a lot of things that were pointed out as “ugly” or “also worthy” that i thought they were always worthy and natural so it made me more insecure and less confident with myself

[@lauradevries9242]

There is always something we wish to improve about ourselves and we are the only ones that can define what that means for us. It's okay to want to work on your appearance just like its okay or even good to want to work on lots of our attributes. Just keep it in perspective. Your appearance is just as important and just as unimportant as any other one of your attributes. They are just that, attributes, you can want them, change them, accept them, cherish them, even hate them how ever you like.

[@BH-2023]

My biggest problem with Body Positivity is that it is no longer about acceptance but active demonization. While individuals should not feel like something is wrong with them for not conforming to society's corporeal ideals, they should also not feel like something is wrong with them if they don't feel like they are not conforming to their bodily and corporeal ideals. Body Positivity, much like 2nd and 3rd wave feminism, is now more about creating an in and out group and attacking those who are even close to being a threat to the in group's totalitarian control, regardless of their motives.

[@HopeIsADrug11037]

this is very true cuz i've had people tell me that i look fine and to love myself but it's never worked 😭

[@Ann_a9]

One of the things I don't like about body positivity is that it kind of makes up new insecurities like "you shouldn't be insecure about your hip dips" I didnt even know what hip dips where or that I was supposed to be insecure about them

[@soobinlover708]

thank you for normalizing winter leg hair !!! i love you emilyyyy ❤❤❤

[@soldierbreed]

Not the target demographic for your videos not sure how you ended up in my feed but ill give it to you, your skits are hilarious. Purely watch just for the humor

[@benjaminbradford3368]

When you make loving your body a moral issue, people feel bad not just because others see them as ugly, they also feel evil because they have failed to see themselves as beautiful

[@AeraYoo]

Currently going thru this and the whole trying to find self love thing. I think if I’m just happy to not be where I used to be, that’s good enough for me. I’m no longer in abusive relationships or around abusive family. That’s what matters the most to me.

[@ilanocturne]

the amount of times i laughed out loud during this video.. you're amazing emily 😭

[@georgialilly3794]

Learning to accept myself for who I am inside and expressing myself in my look has been much easier and more rewarding than finding a way to find myself beautiful.

[@shadowcat4529]

Your acting in this video was amazing! ❤

[@m_winewood]

2 things I don’t like about body positivity: it’s still reliant on looks to measure value so it’s based on a toxic premise from the jump. 2) it’s about lying yourself into pretending you like things you hate about yourself that are within your control as an excuse to not do something difficult. I think there are people who see wanting to improve themselves as self hatred. So they have to see themselves as perfect. Which is different from self respect and wanting to be respected. Cuz actually you hate yourself for wanting to change and not doing so. So they front happiness and confidence while internally being ping ponged between ego trips and bouts of misery.

[@yuulfuji]

ur videos are always great, looking forward to this! this is an interesting topic bcs i think its pretty complicated, and its sometimes gotten out of hand

[@ElliTLG]

completely off-topic but you talk like your a senator or your running for president and i love it soo much like it's so calming sdjksdjsf moral of the story, you should run for president👍

[@ravijames4629]

That line about the bank calling because of all of the free drinks was great

[@Sunny-209]

What happens now is when one is overweight to the point that their life is at the edge and you try to tell them that, *most* people turn against you and say stuff like "you are being mean to them", "you dont know anything", "you dont support body positivitiy" and stuff. No.

[@agjul]

Great video as always and lmao I had the same reaction to the Oscars. I didn't even watch it live! I was just looking at live updates lol. And yet I sobbed lol. If you ever dedicate an entire video on EEAAO I'm here for it

[@clementlettuce]

girl i have not watched it yet but this title is CRAZY BOLD

[@oiuyjty]

Instead of saying things like: "Your the only one who thinks your ugly" And "Everyone is beautiful in their own way" Say things like: "Your always beautiful to someone" The truth is, you will not be everyone's type, but you are someones type, weather your tall, fair skinned, light hair, and blue eyes, or short, dark skinned, dark hair, and dark eyes.

[@ihavhorpiith758]

I had a friend group who got Geniuinely mad at me after months of hanging out over me “complaining” about features i feel insecure about. They felt that me feeling insecure about my body or my nose etc was an attack on other people and i felt that my anxiety had become something to be ashamed about which made everything worse

[@georgenoodles1387]

You should talk to your friends about that because that soubds kinda toxic :(

[@UnlimitedBanana420]

I remember when I was 14 my therapist made me write down the things I liked about myself in green and the things I disliked in red. After I wrote about 15 things down, he said "what about your body" and I basically said I didnt really care and then he said that I should write it down in blue so it would be neutral. I've never really cared about my body, sometimes I think I look beautiful and other times I think I look ugly. But I just don't care. I have never really hated my body the same way others have. I did/do really hate my personality but never really my body. I do have one problem with body neutrality: I think its focus on what the body does in a practical way is kinda stupid. I mean first of people who are disabled or not white can't always look at their body and appreciate it for what it does for them in a practical sense. Also, people still have feelings and they are allowed to have those feelings. It's okay to like the way your body looks and it's also okay to not like it. As long as those feelings don't define you or affect you in daily life, it's fine.

[@lindsay-p]

One perspective to be mentioned about body neutrality is disability. As a disabled person one of the hardest struggles is that your body just, doesn't work. I prefer body positivity because it doesn't matter if your body works the way its "supposed too" it just matters that your happy.

[@lemonnn5291]

I wish body positivity was more about finding healthy ways to make yourself feel beautiful. Keyword: *HEALTHY.* None of those radioactive iron bracelets or weight loss/gain schemes that only fuck up your metabolism.

[@madisonmitchell2966]

Just found this account today and I’ve already watched half of your videos. You are very articulate and fun to listen too. My new favorite account 🙏🏼

[@s0phia71]

I've had really bad issues with body image and eating since i was really little, because i was overweight and in ballet while having a mom who was obsessed with hating on her body. I also had unlimited internet access so i was exposed to a lot of eating disorder content (ex. "my ed story" videos, emma chota edits). i grew up desperate to be thin, was jealous of anorexic girls, got bullied for being "fat". And now it's like all of a sudden everyone makes fun of dieting and anorexia, and instead of changing your body youre supposed to accept it. it's like a complete 180º from the world ive been living in my whole life. the way people make fun of anorexia is so gross to me - thats not positive at all. and as someone whos struggled with anorexia it doesnt feel good at all. its still putting people down to make yourself feel good, no matter how hard you try to label it as positivity. body positivity has always made me feel like shit. i couldn't understand why when i was younger but now i know that i was jealous, because all of the people preaching body positivity were conventionally attractive. it just felt and still feels so... hollow. ingenuine. im trying to be more neutral right now, while trying to lose weight because i think i deserve to look the way i want to look without hating myself.

[@ludlowaloysius]

Hit the gym and build some muscles 💪

[@JustTwoSpaces]

For me, body positivity just makes me feel like… you know, “hey, you should think you’re beautiful even if you’re not!” I guess it just as a skinnier person, it’s like, “you’re too skinny” is just “there’s still something wrong with you but don’t worry, you can still believe you’re beautiful! Even if lots of people don’t think you are!” I have learned to be more positive about myself though so that’s good

[@Crystal_Clearx]

The truth is that obesity is not beautiful. Being on the verge of a heart attack is not hot. Being so thin you’ll faint is not cute. You should always strive to be healthy and it’s ok to feel insecure.

[@JAM661]

I just about died how you added the ad. That was clever and funny.

[@gregdahlen4375]

emily's characters are always angry

[@sprootoveralls1450]

favorite video so far tbh. i wish everyone a somewhat enjoyable journey to self acceptance.

[@samzhangliwei]

i love michelle yeoh and everything everywhere all at once

[@goober112]

Your ad was such a smooth transition i loved the little skit around it.❤

[@adrii7186]

"Am I gonna have to learn... a skill?!" Man, if it is that easy to be pretty put me in line for the debt that comes with those plastic surgery makeovers. Interesting and funny view on the matter. Acting was superb as always. Side note: Love how you just let yourself be open on cam with your Oscar reaction.

[@mrgeorgeconstantinou]

For a moment I actually thought that you have a twin sister, good job Emily. You are awesome!

[@maxwelleckelbarger2734]

I also find the body positivity movement disingenuous. Some people just simply aren’t very physically attractive in the eyes of the beauty standard of their society. People can tell when you’re lying to them about that kind of thing. It’s more empowering to know that you are liked and respected for reasons unrelated to your appearance if you know that you aren’t particularly attractive, compared to being told that you do fit into beauty standards in some way.

[@dice412]

I don’t think the body positivity movement takes away from that, but even if people aren’t physically beautiful to societal standards they can still be beautiful on the outside as well as inside

[@mookchie]

@@dice412hmm but i’ve been told my whole life “everyone’s beautiful in their own way!”. and then i’m constantly ridiculed and bullied for the way i look, feel insecure and notice the difference in how people treat me vs others. it’s not only frustrating but just straight up disingenuous being told your beautiful no matter what when that simply doesn’t match your life experience.

[@Felula]

i love how emily makes the ad funny and intresting unlike alot of other channels lol