MSSP - Matt McCusker: The Relationship Wizard

[@PutonyourSundayBests]

Never has a man blurred the line between idiot and genius as consistently as Matt

[@MangaCarta]

Dont be cute hes basic as hell politically

[@MangaCarta]

Nevermind I missread your comment yeah hes an idiot and has his moments xD

[@russwheeler3942]

@@MangaCarta right, he's white and not gay, so he's basic

[@MangaCarta]

@@russwheeler3942 If you don't think hes basic you probably have sub 90 IQ. I am white Christian and want non-whites deported so you are way off base here - even Gillis has to awkwardly laugh when Mccuskar fails to dogwhistle because hes not really on our side.

[@gopherboat1375]

Theo von lol

[@krazzledazzle304]

"She was hesitant, because I'm a lil tricky." god damn that got me good

[@tonyreyes3780]

Matt is like if a pair of cargo shorts somehow became a person

[@Dinckelburg]

Matt is the cigarette stub stuck between the tread on your shoe as a human

[@deenicole1034]

N BBB🎉 jn n. I don't r

[@caseyschoenleber1760]

Zip off pants

[@barebonesjones]

@@caseyschoenleber1760too fuckin real

[@Opsaam]

Man that’s true man

[@swpost3]

To the topic of women crying: I have a friend that was a repo man. I use to help him out. Witnessed him tell a woman “I’m not gonna be bullied by your tears.” Ruthless.

[@_..-.._..-.._]

Patrice was a repo man?!? 😂 it’s definitely a bullying tactic. No adult should cry unless dying or losing a loved one.

[@styxrakash4639]

So based

[@GeoffreyBronson]

That's sick. It's so awesome when you make them turn off the waterworks when they realise it's not manipulating you.

[@CousinBowling]

​@@_..-.._..-.._cant tell if this is sarcasm or not but basically yeah.

[@micahvdw962]

My grandpa worked for cps and he'd bust out the "I used to take kids away from their families, you can't guilt trip me" on her

[@ZJQ23]

mckuskies went from j.o.'in to tporn out of spite for his ex wife to full nofap zen master. Hes full circle

[@FirstnameLastname-bn4gv]

The ouroboros

[@lucascumming4060]

He stared into the abyss, and it stared back. Matt didn't blink.

[@MArzzzKronik]

he still faps he's just noporn

[@JTBCP]

Our God is an Awesome God

[@user1739-y5c]

full circle would be going back to the tporn

[@jamaljohnson1948]

Shane travels all over doing shows and filming tv shows and somehow Matt has better stories every week by just chilling at home

[@ignorethismessage3424]

matt’s insane amount of honesty gives me so much life

[@iCookCrystalMeth]

s/o terry man

[@Boofski]

It’s an epidemic, I’ve looked at the metadata, no I’m not projecting

[@WizzlyBearW0rms]

He makes shit up all the time

[@enemyoffetters]

​@@WizzlyBearW0rmssuch as?

[@WizzlyBearW0rms]

@@enemyoffetters it’s a comedian thing. Just like Theo Von, they make up shit just for the laughs

[@sergeantnuke]

I love that Shane's crying voice is just Cartman lmao

[@XxLKTPQxX]

Man I was wondering why it was so familiar

[@vandogg14]

Same I rewatches south park last night and I finally figured it out lol

[@joenichols3901]

Matt: "I thought making my girlfriend think I'd been cheating on her right before bed would be funny" lmao . Definitely stealing the vacation move.

[@dimitrijekrstic7567]

Yea...no. that was definitely not his plan

[@nicholaswilliams7281]

It’s funny X Dr c cry ivcrcu d Not d Same as

[@sandworm9528]

Haha Matt's is a psycho

[@oakey03]

"What did you guys go as last year?" "She was Cruella DeVille and I went as a dog." "...Your relationship is f*cked-up, man."

[@babloescobango5143]

I'd love to hear Matt try to explain Warhammer 40k to Shane

[@justinbailey2347]

They talk about Total War: Warhammer in ep 304 but yeah, I’d love to hear their take on the Chaos Gods. Maybe Matt could throw in some Jungian Dawg Magick into his interpretation.

[@benmarsden2581]

Glad there's some 40k fans that are dawgs too

[@craigkrawinkel3140]

​@@benmarsden2581we're everywhere, brother

[@GeoffreyBronson]

@@benmarsden2581 Alpha legion spies are everywhere.

[@T_D_B_]

Fuck yeah shamman getting chaotic would be legendary

[@michaelc8192]

peepop i am once again asking for history bed time stories

[@Gh0stdawg70]

💯 ❤❤❤

[@sleepysnoozin]

Literally just commented asking for the same stuff, big dawgs think alike

[@johnford9070]

Come on peepoop for the dawgz

[@bulrawg_bot]

Agreed. Get on it bitch. The dawgz have spoken. Also anything with war. Thanks G

[@HughTheDukeGlass]

FOR THE DAWGZ

[@mort3338]

i love how mccuskers bandaid for everything is vacation and no fap

[@nicandromartinezsotelo3300]

Yeah but he a dumbass. Why France or Dubaï when you're few hours flight from Mexico City? Bitches LOOOOVE Mexico City. And cheaper than all that France and Arab bullshit. Tacos, Pozole and some mezcal artesanal can rekindle all relationships

[@leetpcguy]

Or psychedelics

[@visgraatje859]

Matt is a wizard alright. a grandwizard.

[@LiteralApe]

OT is full of shane concocting sentences to make matt look like a G dub

[@davidpsdeals]

Grand imperial wizard

[@ethaneverson304]

Matt really is a space cadet

[@BigFarts0]

Oh wow I haven’t came this fast before I swear, you’re the first to make me do this

[@markroberts7001]

Your welcome

[@DeVante-jermaine]

Putting that Dope dick down on that goood chi town

[@nathanaelsmith1368]

“Any port in a storm” 16:13. That comment by Shane is wild 🤣🤣🤣

[@jasondeliello2352]

Matt is like a real life version of Randall from clerks

[@cloudbloom]

Best analogy holy shit

[@T_D_B_]

Good pull bro

[@skyluke9476]

@@cloudbloom fucking. Fuck. Dude. Fuck. Wow. Best comment ever. So true

[@herdrugby11]

Hahah Jesus christ this was the most accurate real person to movie character comparison ever

[@BoyGeorgiaX]

This is like bragging about outsmarting a housefly.

[@KinoTechUSA69]

Matt is the fucking man

[@sapermader2198]

That vacation move is fucking genius

[@bigbrossi2434]

i heard Paris is nice 😂😂

[@B3FMandCProductions]

"The Girl Who Dwelt Below" 😂😂😂

[@DatBoi-mo9vc]

I like how his minion voice was completely wrong, he thinks they talk like pokemon do

[@connerhaas4703]

My favorite new pod. Matt is way funnier then he’s given credit for.

[@bradleythebuilder8743]

He’s the reason I listen to the pod

[@bludragon47]

Come for Shane stay for Matt. Recent new listener as well.

[@austinmanuel500]

Who doesn’t give him credit? True dawgs know that he carried the first like 40 eps and steps up whenever Shane is not on his A game

[@oSiiKModding]

True I must say his stand up game needs some work, but I have no doubt he’s got the resources to excel

[@Prnto44]

@@bludragon47couldnt have said it better.

[@JR-zi9vj]

Matt is the beachboy equivalent of theovon

[@andresoyervides5324]

Hard break check is the best when you’re getting the silent treatment. They either react and break the treatment or swallow it.

[@_..-.._..-.._]

Swallow their teeth? 😂

[@bardsamok9221]

Or maintain silence, get out the car, hitchhike home and put your dog to sleep.

[@andresoyervides5324]

@@bardsamok9221 *put her dog to sleep before she gets home *

[@townesprescot5441]

the shaman is all knowing

[@OvrZealous247]

The D.E.N.N.I.S system 101

[@T_D_B_]

It does seem like a variant of that system

[@typingwhilepoopingLOL]

M.A.T.T. Mingle Advance Turned away Tporn

[@coler6555]

@@typingwhilepoopingLOLit’s been 7 months and no one has given you the credit you deserve for this comment. We live in a sick and twisted world.

[@bracksampson1]

Matt's wife is a goddess. Matt is hilarious. Hell yea dude

[@DweeD1516]

You know the woman in the picture isn't his wife right?

[@MrSh4des]

His wife is blacker than black ya

[@stoybtorn]

@@DweeD1516 prove it in court

[@DweeD1516]

@@stoybtorn I could...easily. That's Ariana Grande for one and his wife is black. That is not his wife that is a Disney star turned shitty pop singer who looks busted without makeup.

[@sanchezmcdirty1]

really? she sounds like a c*nt

[@T_D_B_]

Matt's girl was turning tricks with all that cash on the floor

[@jordancave3089]

Pongo was the name of my first dog lol he was a Rottweiler…and when I got older I asked my mom why that was his name because I was super young when we got him…so i didn’t remember. She said it’s the only name I’d let him have cause I was apparently obsessed with 101 Dalmatians😂😂 I’m a bit younger than Shane, but it’s funny hearing him talk about wanting to name his dog Pongo too lol

[@OhHeBustin]

Cute

[@bruhdon4748]

Pongo is such a great name for a dog tbh & I too loved 101 Dalmatian’s as a kid and I’m significantly younger than shane, I think it’s just an autism thing to love 101 Dalmatian’s, my brother worked in caring for severely autistic adults & one of them would literally watch 101 Dalmatian’s on repeat all day every day & it was the only thing he did.

[@alexcoyg3281]

Passive agressive, they know what they are doing, trust me, you have to max the reaction, Matt's response is perfect

[@camwelch9948]

I died at the minion shit holy fuck

[@esock2001]

BLESSED ARE THE DAWGZ

[@FirstLast-gk6lg]

God damn those dudes who can't have a good time because they are so obsessed with trying to get laid are the WORST

[@MiracleChips]

I used to think I was like Shane, but I’m slowly realizing I’m Matt.

[@robert9016]

13:35 is an all time Matt line for me

[@T_D_B_]

Life is hard for a loser

[@Henry-kv7zl]

@@T_D_B_ life is always hard bucko

[@iCookCrystalMeth]

@@T_D_B_can confirm

[@Kampfwageneer]

Strike out blues is real i used to get it early twenties savage with the self bro

[@cartercartercartercar]

i’m looking for the clip where matt says he’s “baby crazy.” one of the funniest things i’ve ever heard a man say on a podcast

[@ramsnation196]

Bro what😂😂😂

[@watcherofthewest8597]

I found out today Mccusker write a book, that apparently, is extremely well liked by everyone who read it. I can't really explain my different levels of joy knowing that this exists.

[@1990Co]

Dude, read it, its great. For sure buy it.

[@CasualChriso]

What’s it called ?

[@watcherofthewest8597]

@@CasualChriso II forgot. It's on Goodreads. Not many reviews. I've heard it's really good

[@1990Co]

@@CasualChriso overlook

[@GOSTDatingandLifestyle]

Awesome mate, cheers, just bought on Amazon, it's £9

[@tommybellardine]

Matt enjoying Minions is a hilarious non-bit

[@davidx.1150]

I think I just discovered the realest, most relatable content on KZbin!

[@deanweber9336]

Listening to this makes me feel less stressed about my own relationship lol!

[@daleboyers7486]

I want a parking cone like spud😂😂😂spuds sat at home listening to this so proud of himself

[@fadew55]

I love how shane wants so badly to make fun of matt for the minions but just cant. 25:19 . That "oh man" was deep and he was powerless

[@NoNameNo.5]

Yoooo, that vacation shit worked….

[@RatsnRods]

Mccumster looks so handsome in the thumby

[@nope5481]

Wait... is the car ride is a universal thing? Our argument carried over to dinner a couple weeks ago and I hit her with "Why am I in a relationship that has a 10 mile, surface street boundary" she didnt like that. She hung her head

[@covrtdesign5279]

This is exactly why I have been single for so long. I don't deal with people BS anymore.

[@sean8363]

Mmmmmmhm sure

[@noahharju]

These thumbnails are pure gold

[@mattmcd3523]

Jesus Christ this is so relatible it's not even funny... All the Baes are the same

[@gregbabcock9900]

Pro tip to breaking the silent treatment on a road trip when you're driving: Play the same song off your phone on repeat. I reconmend Santa Esmeralda's version of "Don't let me be Misunderstood" Its a 17 minutes version of a timeless classic, plus its God Damn good every bit of that 17 minutes is different from every but of that 17 mins Dont be pussy and give it a listen right now.

[@josephvaldez7055]

I just gave it a listen. You’re right it’s pretty damn good

[@AllAboutMMA]

Grabbed nuts randomly got me cracked up😂😂

[@mattthornhill554]

The best reverse to pull on the silent treatment is just to sit, let them be quiet and do literally anything else, let them stew and once they ask why you aren’t concerned about why they haven’t said anything just hit them with “well I thought something was bothering you but I know if it’s something serious enough you’d discuss with me, we both know how to communicate and how to address problems maturely without making it a blown up thing so I know we can handle it”

[@AlbanianThrash]

"oh did you stop talking? i didn't notice"

[@cassidyerickson7408]

Matt mccusker fuckin rules

[@jeffreyleblanc5676]

The passion of the cusk. Let's roll

[@Truffle_Pup]

"Let's go towards to rocks!" "No, we'll fucking die!" Women. Hah.

[@psyifinotic]

matt drops a kung flu at 20:23

[@tp0g751]

Matt McCusker I need the guidance to to ebony box

[@eternalific3242]

MATTS ONTO SOMETHING HERE BOYS

[@blueplanet87]

I love Shane’s love for his Dad

[@acidrat420]

4:50 that "wow" lmao

[@mikedaines47]

Thank you for the nuggets peepop.

[@whiskeybandit-gz5um]

Matt-"oh i would take whatever came to me"😂

[@Eric-il7gv]

I’m gay

[@HeartLancer]

Matt thought 2 planes did Pearl Harbor but his intellect still blows brendan schaub out the water

[@neilbowman573]

Wait awhile. You get to a point in the relationship where the silent treatment is the best.

[@T_D_B_]

It's a gift

[@ghagzor]

Why would you stay with someone you don't like?

[@neilbowman573]

@@ghagzor Because I'm not a millennial and I have kids. My grandparents on both sides stayed together. My parents stayed together. My friends parents stayed together. "Someone I don't like"? You'll never find someone you like all the time...if you do that's great for you...but in the real world most of us find people we like most of the time and that's good enough because we're not fragile little pussies that require validation.

[@zb3645]

@@neilbowman573 fuck yeah

[@Lorenzo_I.]

@@neilbowman573 sounds like you're a little pussy to me

[@kingmoz]

15:24 kills me

[@lilbabybeard]

holy shit matt is me hahahaha

[@glocky_lo6351]

Dude this is the best

[@sappypapi]

like leaving cheese for a mouse

[@SerHuntsReviews]

Stop monetizing this

[@Henry-kv7zl]

What does it make you hard? Make you.... Gay?

[@hvn_gng]

He doesnt

[@michaelswanton3336]

That vacation line is god tier

[@michaelmerrill5187]

I named my Dutch shepherd Reggie after Reggie bush. Thought I was the first to come up with that.

[@robluxipiech4033]

I came fast thanks bros

[@1shogunate696]

Pick Dubai so she can’t yell at you because it’s illegal for females to yell in Dubai

[@MSuss98]

Y'all better pray your GFs don't watch this LMAO 😂

[@jameslucena1020]

Based Matt accidentally steals your bbg

[@CoreyGolphenee]

Matt convinced me to date black, they are a lot more understanding of the 432 lmao.

[@CallMeJaviiii]

What episode is that

[@Propaproduct]

the McCusker Hair is Waaavvvy aha

[@BoyGeorgiaX]

I’m surprised Shane doesn’t like Minions because of the Minion’s tenure in the 40’s

[@Ja50nkAt]

Shane just said on a podcast recently he had no interest in visiting poor countries 😂

[@joebuckhoff]

32:28 💀

[@michelebergman4336]

Shane needs to protect u

[@AnalogLanguage]

Love guru? Nah Love Shaman!

[@christianarchambault6111]

Glad it’s not just my gf

[@blickluke]

Dr. Matt MCCusker saved my marriage!!!

[@Manhandle730]

4:13 So his bitch is Eric Cartman? Huh…

[@GlassHalfFull10]

That Owen Wilson movie was bad ass

[@twwnn]

Matt crying to Creep by Radiohead after going out and not getting snizz was the most relatable thing I’ve heard from the podcast HOLY

[@TestTest-tj4nt]

13:40 I LOVE THIS TWO MORONS SO MUCH. I need dawgz irl, bro.

[@darian.the.barbarian]

About the money on the floor thing... I once had this weird friend that would believe in all this odd, witchy, new age manifestation shit and he would throw money all over the floor. I tried to pick it up and he yelled at me that it was supposed to bring more money your way or some shit. So maybe it was that? Idfk 😂

[@tylerwalsh7587]

“Warter.”

[@tauv272]

matt’s girlfriend voice makes her sound like she’s from south park

[@hadesbabiesrabies3876]

"pick dubai, and then, cause no matter what the middle east will be a sack of shit" 😄😄

[@deejthegreat7282]

The only thing I take away from this is I wish Phil was my popop

[@jl.7739]

Liking the minions a a man is the gayest thing after liking Ricky Martins music

[@jrod1845]

Lmao i thought that was a fucking paul walker for a second 😂😂😂

[@ZakarRuss]

Too late brother 😂😂

[@dorianbertero]

This might be my favorite peepop compilation