Obama, Shaq, McConaughey & More Encourage Americans To Get The Jab

[@Evehawk87]

Congrats on making it through that Paramount+ segment with a straight face. Respect.

[@Tustin2121]

You could tell it took him all of his will power. 😂

[@immortalasirpa8117]

I believe *Anglo-Saxon* is also the shade of blond she dyes her hair. No. 13 on the Master Race color chart.

[@sharksrppl2413]

Why are the most vocal master-race aryans bottle blondes?

[@buttercxpdraws8101]

@@sharksrppl2413 Imposters!

[@ev06863]

😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@cd2110]

Omg. Hilarious, you made my night!

[@darlene7461]

Now that’s funny. 😂🤣

[@meredithbradfield7158]

"Hwæt" is the first line of Beowulf as written in Old English. I know that Steven is a Tolkein fan and it makes perfect sense that he would make this very nerdy old English joke. My morning is made.

[@kristenseveri1001]

Love it, I was like "I see what you did there Stephen, extreme nerd reference for the win" :)

[@rev.rachel]

Old English meanwhile! Still my favorite OE word.

[@calexprenas]

i couldnt focus on anything after “pube displacement disorder” lolllll. i will never be able to unsee that on ted cruz

[@krejados1]

I had to pause and play back, myself

[@elhopper3735]

Best part is he’s not wrong at all

[@daisyl2629]

Watching Taylor-Greene slow walk the end of her political career is my new favourite pastime.

[@koilamaoh4238]

Basically white nationalist convention... Fascist party for all, like that last "conservative convention" they had with a nazi symbol center stage... They arent even trying to hide it anymore.

[@richardivonen3564]

@E E Poignant and humorous ! ! ! Thank you.

[@pjschuster61]

@E E Perhaps I’m mistaken, but I thought I’ve read that the Chinese invented/found gunpowder & had fireworks many many long years ago

[@MrBsbotto]

Yeah. Surely that "pistol-packin' mama" horseshit will fizzle at some point!?? It's hard to manage that level of whacko for very long: I see a meltdown in My Little Margie's future.

[@kristiecsu]

Same! Between her and Gaetz, it’s been a great couple of weeks!

[@laalaa99stl]

"Anglo Saxon" because using the word "Aryan" might have been a bit too on the Nazi.

[@wikansaktianto9215]

Hey, hey, hold up... WASP is much eligible for US. Folks since Aryan is too foreign, too alien for the caucus.

[@toadjiang7626]

These people should have a DNA test, they might not be as white as they think.

[@melissaweyrick5311]

💯

[@MrNickLancelot]

even the whole Aryan thing had indo-iranian origins.

[@juliaward2079]

🤦‍♀️🙄Arisches Blut?! 😅 now i get it! had no clue why they were going on about this.. But yeah that’s probably too on the nose... seriously they could just say white already, we all know that’s what they mean they weren’t really hiding it so far

[@MelodicQuest]

Beowulf reference. Don't see too many of those anymore.

[@DaveWraptastic]

Weirdly enough, I did see one yesterday while watching an old Star Trek Voyager episode that was set in the Beowulf story.

[@renatocorvaro6924]

@@DaveWraptastic Life's gotten pretty surreal when the problems of the real world are sillier than an episode of Voyager.

[@jsmith2121]

No lit. references hardly anywhere these days. People won't get it.

[@bedstuy89]

Aww. Beowolf...💚💛❤️

[@Nativecary]

Nobody will understand such references these days!

[@mohsinrao4334]

7:58 Yeah, nothing says "Anglo-Saxon" like neo-Classical architecture inspired from Greece.

[@kenbrown2808]

and nothing says anglo saxon values like clutching pearls.

[@thexalon]

Exactly! We need to return to single-story wattle-and-daub structures with straw-thatched roofs.

[@mistie710]

Quite so. As I recall, especially after the Normans conquered England, the Anglo-Saxons were more often seen tilling soil and mucking animals than constructing pseudo-Gothic monuments. They were the common clay. You know...

[@zesty9815]

8:45 _“Why, those dirty, backstabbing swamp creatures! How dare they mention that thing we're promoting!”_

[@lyianx]

Shes just mad because we could see all the words of it in context, instead of hearing about it though her cloak and dagger deceptive words.

[@woadblue]

@@lyianx yo, she's just mad

[@jenl5078]

By Odin’s beard! This was a funny mono

[@Leonaza7]

There is a squirrell squashed flat in the street in front of my house who is infinitely more qualified to be Governor than Greg Abbott. It is also slightly more qualified than Mathew McConaughey, but has no current interest in the position.

[@abbedurham8679]

Texan here. I'll vote for that squirrel if it will rid us of Abbott.

[@drboze6781]

Even a squashed blind squirrel can find his nuts, but deez nuts, like Abbott? Somebody ought to go to public events with Abbott with a loud hailer that plays Lou Costello hollering, "Hey, Abbott!"

[@juliaward2079]

U got my vote 👍👍☺️ What color is it? Can you put a tiny hat on it still? That’ll probably be a deciding factor for votes to come in...🙄😜

[@cesarconh895]

Give it 5 hours and this comment will have a thousand likes.

[@TheDanishGuyReviews]

"No current interest in the position." Sounds like my girlfriend at night.

[@emuser60ydnar22]

I got my second Pfizer today. Feeling a bit meh, but that's better than gasping my last breaths in the ICU separated from my family.

[@magickmoi1261]

Good for you!!!

[@benjaminkruger720]

Wait until tomorrow. 😉

[@jote7214]

Same here. I feel fine so far. Fingers crossed.

[@MiaN..N]

Convid

[@MiaN..N]

@El Cruzer No side effects.......yet

[@professionalamatuer8064]

7:07 - I’m not one to nitpick but Stephen is holding a 17th century French main gauche dagger.

[@drboze6781]

That's so gauche!

[@alrightyru]

Good eye 😜

[@marshwetland3808]

I'd like to see you nitpick, though.

[@MrBsbotto]

What an astute observation. Nit-picker!

[@jaimicottrill2831]

To be fair, it was probably quite difficult to find an ancient dagger from a thousand years ago! 😂

[@AJ42K]

Haven't heard of the word Anglo-Saxon since high school. You just made my day Evie for laughing gracefully.

[@peterachleitner7356]

"The person peaking Saxon, is the one to use your ax(e) on" (Ambrose Bierce in his Devil's Dictionary). Stay safe and healthy! Regards from Malaysia

[@pearls7272]

Savage jokes on ted cruz! "Pube displacement disorder" had me cackled 🤣🤣🤣

[@MDonovan]

Yes We Can ! 👍🏽

[@patrickhill8494]

The Space News segment brought me an inordinate amount of joy XD

[@ecchidragon8038]

Same here.

[@jamesoverholt878]

On my first viewing, I cried

[@sophierobinson2738]

john wilks I'm happy for you.

[@lyianx]

I didnt know there was enough gas (air?) in the atmo for the blades to gain lift. Thats pretty cool!

[@47f0]

@@lyianx About 1% of Earth sea level. A little over half the gravity, so that helps, but still that's very very very very thin air. I don't know if you saw the higher resolution video, but part way through the hover it does a very nice, precise 90° rotation.

[@Orator31]

When I was getting my first Pfizer dose, the nurse administering the second dose was going through the possible side effects and I told her that, “this thing could make me vomit my guts for 8 hours straight and I’ll still be first in line for my second shot.” Two weeks since my second dose and no side effects at all

[@thomasjohn6041]

Give it 2 years. Good luck.

[@MrBsbotto]

Bravo. Way to go, kicking back against these dummies who think skipping the shot is like planting the flag on Iwo Jima or something. Ooooh, such brave rebels, marching lockstep with their Maga buds. Does herd immunity work on cattle??

[@malavoy1]

@@MrBsbotto Don't know, but cattle prods work on them 😁 Adds a spring in their step.

[@sophierobinson2738]

Thomas John Say what?

[@scottbecker4367]

@@thomasjohn6041 I thought no one knew what the long term side effects were?

[@consubandon]

"A Background to History: Part 4" That Anglo-Saxon gibber was an obscure Monty Python audio reference, and a pretty deep cut. Glad Stephen had time as a kid to geek-out about other than LOTR.

[@jonneexplorer]

He also made a tolkien reference in it though, that is even more obscure... Tolkien used to start his boewulf lectures with a loud Hwæt.

[@natewap308]

WTF! LMAO! Poor Teddy "Pube displacement disorder" Cruz ! To funny😂😂

[@shellibelli4387]

Love the PDD!

[@Yinzermakesvids]

I'm 36 and fully vaccinated with Pfizer and still not going on vacation to the beach for at least another year.

[@smkh2890]

The beach is open air. So safer than the supermarket.

[@TheN0odles]

Better safe than sorry

[@ancientseed2607]

Ah the MSM brainwashed you good. 😂🤡

[@223Drone]

@@ancientseed2607 Listening to science isn't "brainwashing".

[@eggizgud]

Find a quiet one and keep distancing.

[@playnicechannel]

Seriously get your frisbee off my lawn 😂🤣😂😂🤣 too, too much too funny 👍👏👏

[@billtribble2904]

She be broken furniture. 🤭

[@nathanwilliams1431]

I love how Stephen looks at the chicken on the sword as he puts it down. His face clearly says "I'd bite this for comedic effect if it weren't so nasty"

[@cstearry]

I wanted him to bite it so bad

[@playnicechannel]

I’ve been a Mom waaaay too long, because the whole time he was gesturing with it I kept thinking careful!!! It’s all fun and games until somebody puts an eye out. Where did that carefree lass I once was who would have cheered Huzzah! At the sight of meat on a sword.

[@drunkenarmadillo3827]

@playnicechannel That carefree lass just needs a night off and some vino 🍷 meat served on a sword would definitely merit a huzzah once liquored up

[@dee31415]

@@cstearry me too! I was waiting for it

[@pjschuster61]

@@cstearry I was so certain he was going to. It would have been typical Colbert.

[@napoleonibonaparte7198]

"Anglo-Saxon culture" The Jutes: "Don't move, their vision is based on movements."

[@intercat4907]

Happy to say I've hit a couple of nerves with the fact that the Anglo-Saxon culture ended in a conquest from ... France. Yours was even funnier. Hooray for history!

[@EditDeath]

Downsides to going to Cruz's house: copy of his book and he'll be there Upside: that book will make great kindling the next time Texan electrical power goes out

[@marshwetland3808]

Savage.

[@renatocorvaro6924]

So would Ted Cruz. Nah I'm just kidding, he'd stink up the place.

[@billtribble2904]

Funny!

[@teaceremony2460]

Voldomorone!! 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂

[@cutl00senc]

Stephen keeps me happy and laughing and somehow....sane

[@Valerie-mz4et]

“Pubic hair displacement disorder “. Omg!!! Good one!!😂😂

[@kidmohair8151]

because his face does rather resemble a.....

[@ninjabluefyre3815]

I laughed so loud even though my dad is trying to sleep.

[@inevitableanarchy4203]

Just reading that is cringe😂

[@mistie710]

Didn't they use that joke on Rand Paul's odd scalp condition?

[@billturner8823]

The problem wasn’t Gaetz having dinner with his 19 yr old girlfriend, the problem was it was their 5 yr anniversary. At least you can count on Gaetz to drive slow through school zones.

[@laurachapiano]

where did you see it was their 5 year?

[@sciencenate]

This is blatantly stolen from other comments. Two stolen comments mixed. At least that was original

[@billturner8823]

@@sciencenate Liar, nice try troll.

[@heartofdawn2341]

I love the nerdestry of the Mars traffic report, and the anglo-saxon bit too

[@myblujl7503]

"Ted Cruz is going to be there" Unless its really cold. Then he will be in Cancun.

[@CourtneySchwartz]

Like any Canadian...

[@ekdaufin1485]

🤣

[@kathrynseaman6482]

@@CourtneySchwartz If only I could! but would avoid Ted there for sure eh!

[@AshaSelfsDemoFilms]

He'll appreciate you feeding his dog while he's out.

[@MrNickLancelot]

His house will have cartons of books and the poor dog he abandoned while he cosplays at the border, or at Cancun

[@flyhighcreative]

Finally!! I kept refreshing your feed like GIMME MY COLBERTTTTTT!!!

[@artemisknight8721]

In beowoulf's defense. The setting was not in a swamp, nor a bog.

[@kidmohair8151]

mead hall?

[@lisab9541]

Part of it is.

[@jojom4982]

The mother lives in "mere" which is pond or swamp.

[@johncloutier298]

Wow, hitting us with the Middle English Beowuf opening line, nice! Also, I have always been partial to Il Douchy for the former guy.

[@BroAnarchy]

I love how Stephen nearly jumps from his seat when he hears about Ingenuity's first Flight. he must be a Space Buff like me 😃

[@Leonaza7]

I would much rather he endorse Beto and campaign for him. I love McConaughey but not in that leadership role.

[@leonardsowders7985]

I agree. Beto, not McConaughey.

[@That1NestledNookNPC]

That Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman shoutout made my night!

[@OzyMandias13]

If Matthew McConaughey is going to run for governor of Texas, he has to compete against the Alt-Right, Alt-Right, Alt-Riiight...

[@meganbruneau2283]

This comment is seriously underrated

[@reuvengritters2983]

Ha! Well played.

[@elhopper3735]

Very well done. You made me laugh!

[@islandbrowncoat]

Thank you for your historical nerdiness, it was delightful.

[@solitare4602]

Love the Beowulf stuff. Any true Tolkien nerd has to know about Beowulf.

[@Beruthiel45]

That's funny. Tolkien was an expert on the subject of Beowolf but it predated him by quite a few hundreds of years.

[@davidl5452]

First ad is an entire interview from The Daily Show. Who says KZbin can't learn :)

[@11cabadger]

Hahaha I thought I clicked on the wrong show until the "Skip Ad" popup came on. Thanks for letting us know it's the whole segment, gonna go back & watch 😋

[@noblewilliams6437]

Ahh Stephen Colbert. theres plenty of late shows but my week isnt right without the awesome Mr. Colbert!

[@JenMistress]

Well, hey, Stephen, Dirty Deeds are done dirty cheap. 😉😂🤣 Couldn't resist.

[@theresaiwright7085]

AC/DC lol

[@hewlettwilliam4650]

@@theresaiwright7085 aka dka

[@Moribax85]

small correction: "dirt cheap" :)

[@emilyfulton728]

7:09 as a university history student going for honours. It’s nice that he accurately mentioned Sutton hoo as well as Bede. I have spent hundreds of hours having to read Bede and researching Sutton hoo. Thank you

[@ohwaitnvm]

Hwæt! 9:08

[@karenmoore5831]

I've received both my shots. My daughter is getting her 2nd shot tomorrow. All of the "senior" members of my family have been fully vaccinated. Can't wait til we can get together! We all live less than 20 mins away, but we have not been able to get together for over a year bc each of us have our own families. Feel blessed.

[@Leonaza7]

The question is, does that poll show support for McConaughey or contempt for Abbott? I mean, I'd vote for a yellow dog over Abbott, but that doesn't mean the dog is a *good* choice. Just the better choice of those two.

[@yes0r787]

Right? We need better minimum qualifications. Raise your standards, people.

[@jasonarthurs3885]

@@yes0r787 Pretty certain voting for a yellow dog speaks to standard-raising.

[@Wednesdaywoe1975]

McConaughey isn't a rat bastard. That's a plus. However, I see no sign he has actually taken a poli Sci course or spent time learning how government works. There are people in Hollywood who are smart, hardworking and good hearted, and if one such person put in the necessary WORK to enter politics, I might vote for them. But, "I'm famously good looking and from Texas" is not enough.

[@trainingxtrish]

This has been the case in US politics for decades though, sadly

[@keithprice4711]

I'd imagine it's probably more contempt of Abbott than actual real support

[@d.b.1176]

First shot today 💪

[@drboze6781]

Grats! I get mine tomorrow. Bit by bit, we are going to own this bug.

[@magickmoi1261]

👍🏼🥳

[@MH-ql4nh]

Honestly I am jealous! We are really slow with the vaccine roll out here and it's a longgggg wait for me...

[@lynntaylor9681]

Congrats. I got my first shot last Thursday.

[@idamoody1554]

Rock on, good job! Thanks for doin your part!

[@hyperboi87]

That look off into the sunset was so genius and funny

[@guadalupenunez6621]

Dude....you have a great audience....love her giggle in the background!!!!

[@britanniadix5580]

That whole Anglo-Saxon segment just delighted a handful of historians and linguists, including myself. Well done and delivered!

[@_i_am_unceded]

Honor and Respect

[@reesejackson5935]

I got Moderna on Friday. Injection spot was a little sore for 2 days, other than that no problem

[@guavachild]

Me too! 😁

[@MrBsbotto]

Uh oh, Major Side Effects! Call Carlson right away!

[@reesejackson5935]

@@MrBsbotto 🤣🤣🤣 oh yea. Damn those 5g towers

[@lynntaylor9681]

I got Moderna on Thursday and same thing happened to me.

[@jamesonpace726]

Thank you, Stephen, for fightin thar good fight, arrrrr. Got my 2nd Moderna today...!

[@maddog8621]

Those syringes look like a gang of Homer Simpsons cursed to spend an eternity performing in a vaccination

[@Chrisko1492]

Literally nothing of that animation reminds of Homer Simpson.

[@maddog8621]

@@Chrisko1492 the eyes.....the eyes

[@danettedouglas6360]

@FAB4 sweet! I will forever 💘 the Beatles

[@garyberger9257]

Am I the only person who nearly died at "jug of government bleach?" Too funny

[@demonorse]

No, you're not.

[@lesleyedgley8371]

My favorite was "Pube displacement disorder"🤣🤣🤣

[@ripadipaflipa4672]

Sounds like Green just wants to force us all into a nationwide home owners association. I want to paint my house purple with bright green geckos.

[@theresaiwright7085]

😂😂😂

[@MrBsbotto]

Nice! Thumbs up X 100!

[@tammystockley-loughlin7680]

I want to live next door. Positive vibes from New Hampshire and remember to be kind to each other and yourself during this pandemic and social crisis

[@thesuccessfulone]

7:42 "I know I have to bite this, but I am definitely getting salmonella if I do, so I'm making an executive decision to go against rehearsal by not subjecting myself to foodborne illness."

[@MrLoobu]

Its clearly a cooked chicken

[@revinaque1342]

@@MrLoobu The underside looked a bit uncooked 😅

[@MrLoobu]

@@revinaque1342 nah your being way too sensitive. You gotta chow down a mouthful of almost totally raw chicken for a otherwise healthy person to get sick from salmonella. People in the west are so sensitive about their food lol.

[@thesuccessfulone]

@@MrLoobu I will write on your epitaph that you were brave enough to boldly get salmonella from a chicken that was left out.

[@MrLoobu]

@@thesuccessfulone Im a cook by trade man Ive had way more dodgy shit than that lol. Im just giving you the skinny, dont be afraid :). THEN AGAIN I dont eat American chicken and industry standards matter a lot.

[@davidanderson_surrey_bc]

As mentioned by someone in the comments section of another video, "classical" American architecture -- such as the Capitol, the Washington Monument, et al -- is based on Greek, Roman, and Egyptian styles. In fact, I cannot offhand think of a single iconic American building that could be considered an example of Anglo-Saxon architecture.

[@samreid6010]

I mean, most forts built up until the 20th century are based off of European styles. That’s the best I can currently think of.

[@chrissiek8706]

White Castle, or how that "medieval" mcdonalds is called...

[@marshwetland3808]

Possibly the ole lean-to haybarn.

[@leonardsowders7985]

Iconic Anglo-Saxon architecture, like most European architecture, is based on Greek, Roman and Egyptian styles.

[@samreid6010]

@@leonardsowders7985 that depends on what you describe as Anglo-Saxon architecture. At what point in British history does it diverge from Anglo-Saxon to other British styles like Victorian architecture or Colonial Architecture, styles heavily influence by other cultures?

[@jonezzjazz]

We love Evie! She's your most devoted audience member, and you seem to like her too, Stephen!

[@hereticpariah6_66]

"Pube Displacement Disorder"!🤣🤣 ....im _DYING_ over here!!!😂🤣😂🤣😳🤯⚰️

[@jaseboon6282]

When i was a kid, I used to think it was "Dr Quim - Medicine Woman"

[@therealkepler]

With bad kerning, anything is possible!

[@Mediaright]

I'm loving the "Vax-Scene" songs more and more, haha.

[@davidanderson_surrey_bc]

Oh yeah. The Rockettes ain't got nuthin' on these fine jabbers. They're the funniest chorus line since Laugh-In Looks At The News.

[@theferalluau9671]

That's how I got started on cigarettes, be careful.

[@fatfreddyscat5767]

@@davidanderson_surrey_bc Ruth Buzzi...great last name for 4-20

[@fatfreddyscat5767]

@@theferalluau9671 Me too..and they outlawed Cig ads in 71...

[@maxfastest]

62 got my second dose on saturday, sunday was a bit underpowered, but today was just fine. Going to Alaska soon ! So There !

[@ValerieJNorse]

Woo hoo!

[@ianw5663]

The Dr. Quinn one got me. Quality writing there.

[@jukthewise8776]

I love the progression from "he who must not be named" to "Voldemoron." 🤣🤗

[@Lucius1958]

It's been 2 weeks since my second Pfizer shot: I will still be wearing a mask for the foreseeable future.

[@helenpatterson3858]

Thank you. Thank you very much for caring despite the loud mob who act like they would rather risk everyone's lives than admit it might make a difference. We have to know it helps, just by the fact there were less cases of common cold and flu with so many people washing their hands and wearing masks.

[@reflector0157]

I will be doing the exact same👍

[@justmemadison]

Thank you!

[@johnjohn-cs9eu]

We call them "muzzles" cos you cannnot gossip* properly wearing them. *that is discuss anti .gov talk

[@sophiedelahunt4833]

Same, but even for non-Covid-related reasons. I dunno about you, but this year has been fantastic for nasal congestion. Since we started wearing these, can you remember the last time you caught a cold or got the flu? I can't.

[@NewMessage]

If the theme to Airwolf didn't play in your head when watching that Mars footage, I don't wanna know you.

[@jeffsoltis9864]

"Ba da da da da da da"

[@Facetiously.Esoteric]

Hated that show. Which is weird because Jan Micheal Vincent and Borgnine were two of my favorites as a kid.

[@buttersstotch6752]

i got the Magnum PI helicopter scene...

[@jeffsoltis9864]

Anybody remember "Blue Thunder" with Dana Carvey, Dick Butkus, and Bubba Smith?

[@theresaiwright7085]

@@jeffsoltis9864 I do and you forgot Roy Scheider, Candy Clark, Daniel Stern and Malcolm McDowell

[@judysocal8682]

You made me snort laugh with the Paramount+/Medicine Woman plug. And all your Anglo Saxon history....too much fun tonight

[@110100111000]

it reminds me of https :// www . youtube . com / watch ? v= atI-JPGcF-k

[@benjscar1540]

As a high school chemistry teacher the "brought to you by Iron(iii) oxide" joke killed it for me 🤣

[@InsanoRider777]

...I've watched episodes of Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman when it was on-air. Am... am I old?

[@HashknightGaming]

Having flown a drone outside I can say the ai did very very well

[@katla_phc]

also remember Mars has basically 1% of the atmosphere that Earth has so helicopter design needs to be slightly tweaked to be functional so it's extra cool that this worked so well. (And now that they have a standard for a helicopter working on Mars, they can start creating the next rover that will land in Mars via helicopter, rather than the typical descent, which reduces a huge potential failure.)

[@davidanderson_surrey_bc]

@@katla_phc If the next rover is designed by Donald Trump, it will descend to Mars via escalator.

[@sophierobinson2738]

David Anderson 😂😂

[@nightnoodler812]

I swear you were gonna take a bite out of that chicken...You at least thought about it

[@thesuccessfulone]

He also thought about how many people in the prop department handled it and if it's safe to eat

[@EH23831]

So... it WAS real? I looked real...but

[@Vandalia1998]

I got my 2nd shot Friday and felt terrible yesterday but still better then actually getting the real virus. I’d do it again

[@mainheim2061]

I know four people that tested positive and never had any symptons. So it really depends on your immune system if it will do anything to you. they shouldn't force anybody to take it that doesn't want it. So far more than 2000 people have passed away after getting the vx. Many people are suffering b ells p alsy , whic permanently paralyzes part of your face due to damage to the nerves. And the companies are immune from lawsuits if you get injured or die so you have no protection.

[@patriciaevins6267]

I got my "jab" on Friday :)

[@jamescrud]

@@mainheim2061 Bells Palsy is not permanent. My wife had it 10 years ago. Don't know what brought it on but it lasted only 5 weeks. At first we thought she was having a stroke because half her face was sagging.

[@sophierobinson2738]

Mai Nheim Still lying, I see. Only a few people have had the blood clot problem. The chance of getting blood clots from the J&J vaccine is way less than the chance of getting blood clots from birth control medicine.

[@Vandalia1998]

@@sophierobinson2738 I have a lot of anti Vaxers on my Facebook didn’t know I was friends with so many people like that

[@dazzlemasseur]

"VOLDEMORON" ?!?!?! WOW that one is brilliant !

[@zaaz1471]

"... lasted just about 30 seconds... reached an altitude of about 10 feet..." But since we're on their planet we should use their units of measurements "... lasted just about 8 flobisters... reached an altitude of about 24 magrafanes..."

[@Leonaza7]

Viable candidate and viable governor are two different things. McConaughey is charming and he makes a great "ambassador" for Texas, but those two things don't qualify him to run a big and complicated state with a lot of problems.

[@billtribble2904]

But he's a saint. Or a sage. Probably just a rich actor from a poor state. 🤔

[@davideckhart1441]

Stephen Colbert:)nailed always nailing😀

[@onemileperhour]

Erik's Dad is still my favorite

[@marshwetland3808]

Yeah, that one needs to become a staple. Also, I hope the people whose choices he used got something besides the 2 seconds of fame. :)

[@onemileperhour]

@@marshwetland3808 getting featured is more than enough

[@lisapayne7455]

Oh, Steven...You are forever clever, and I adore you so. 💝😇🥳

[@lisab9541]

Loved the Beowulf joke.

[@kimberlycornelius7911]

Thank you #Charlesbarkley.

[@danrion8839]

Stephen Colbert having a great time since the previous Guy booted out.

[@yes0r787]

Me too 💛

[@gamepapa1211]

We all do.

[@blueguy15]

I hope everyone is having an excellent year so far.

[@magickmoi1261]

😥 not so much

[@CrystalLynn1988]

@@magickmoi1261 I'm sorry, I hope things get better for you.

[@blueguy15]

@@magickmoi1261 I'm very sorry to hear that. Hopefully it takes a turn for the better soon. Cheers my friend.

[@marshwetland3808]

Can't say so, no, not that I'd know what an excellent year looks like.

[@dorothydean8643]

Good grief! Democracy was used here for centuries by the Iroquois Confederacy. Then there are the Greeks. Not Anglo-Saxon.

[@CloudsGirl7]

"...he's going to drive a Lincoln, talking to himself the entire time." And don't forget about rolling a booger between his thumb and forefinger. 😆

[@billtribble2904]

He be a saint from Texass! 😇

[@jeffereython2948]

A warning to anyone visiting Ted Cruz's house: If he isn't there, you might have to take care of his dog for a while.

[@chrissiek8706]

Snowflake might be a puddle, but even that little beast has not deserved to have an owner like Eduardo "Ted" Cruz

[@janedoeski9196]

I mean really that would be ideal id take a dog over ted Cruz every single time 😆

[@krystal5250]

Haha, better than getting bit by Bidens poor dog.

[@Brett_S_420]

Poor snowflake.

[@Brett_S_420]

@@krystal5250 Biden's dog smelled a jan. 6th Trump collaborator on that seceret service agent. Bidens dog prefers people who aren't traitor-supporters!

[@mac979s1]

Thank You for sharing that you can stream Dr Quinn on paramount

[@mac979s1]

Wtf dr Quinn isn’t on paramount +.

[@robvangessel3766]

Come a day in the distant future when they'll be complaining about the 405 traffic jams on Mars.

[@keithprice4711]

Maybe, the high speed train between LA and SF will be built by then too

[@robvangessel3766]

@@keithprice4711 Nah.

[@JadeValour]

I LOVE the 'nicknames' people have sent in for 'you know who'!!! They're truly hilarious.

[@anniemorris5855]

That ‘splat’ of the chicken / dagger everytime Stephen drops it 😂😂😂😂

[@thisistheaccountname]

Mike Lindell seems like the kind of person who sews a fleshlight into their pillow.

[@brianjames7712]

I did wait what kind of flash light you talking about?

[@ValerieJNorse]

@@brianjames7712 -- "Fleshlight." It's a kind of sex toy.

[@LoveProWrestling]

I thought that was the major selling point.

[@CloudsGirl7]

If I had a thousand likes to give...

[@tru1072]

Mike Linell is the kind of person who asks his mom to do it bc he never learned how to sew.

[@kathyastrom1315]

How many NASA people are going to save that clip from the traffic report?

[@nancystowell4877]

I've saved it; What a wonderful day!

[@emiller113]

wish Germany gets the vaccine going .Waiting to travel again 🙏🏻🙏🏻

[@MH-ql4nh]

It's been slow here in Malaysia too. Registered for the vaccine a month ago but no news of an appointment date yet :-( But then again, I am far from the priority list so it's going to be a while before I get mine

[@alexanderdiogenes8067]

Omg Steven nailed the slow-motion blink in the Dr. Quinn bit hahaha

[@erickborling1302]

Uh, "classically" beautiful was a romantic and postmodern concept embracing nostalgia about ancient Greece. There was no "classical values" in Anglo Saxon history jeez those GOP'ers concoct such a mish-mash of toddler playtime fiction.

[@ianmaidment2258]

We pay more for cops mistakes than their salary in20 years

[@laalaa99stl]

I'm liking this Airwolf vs Redwolf reboot!

[@lopan1698]

The Airwolf reboot was going to cast Kobe, but production crashed

[@aisuru01]

Big ups to Props department, nice job on the stuck chicken, boo on the decision to give Stephen a physical object to use after he threw an invisible dagger into Sarah from the invisible props department. What are yall thinking?

[@rachelgallagher6214]

I to will wear my mask until Fauci says I dont have to ✌♥️ from Montana

[@johnburt1438]

Marjorie had to give up on the caucus idea when someone told her that classical architecture came from the Greeks and Romans, neither of which were Anglo Saxon.

[@ValerieJNorse]

She was trying to figure out how to say "white" without saying "white," and screwed it up anyway.