Fat Positive Complaints Gone Too Far

[@neuronova1384]

This is like the way an alcoholic speaks. “What if the neighbors notice how many bottles I’m putting out in recycling/in the trash??” If you’re afraid of strangers noticing the amount and frequency of ANYTHING you should be asking yourself WHY.

[@JYJnKumi]

Facts. I'm a recovering alcoholic (10 months sober) and I was always worried about my neighbors hearing the amount of cans I carried in a trash bag or the empty boxes of beer. I'd even bounce to different gas stations throughout the week so the clerks didn't realize I was an alcoholic

[@t-98]

When I quit drinking, I overheard the bin men ask each other where the bins with all the bottles in were, definitely made me feel a lot of emotions that I can’t really describe

[@ashlynnwatt6151]

@@JYJnKumi Congrats on 10 months sober!!!!! Wishing you continued success

[@ximar0ckstrx]

​@@JYJnKumicongratulations on 10 months sober! ❤

[@tuffguydoe7937]

Yes, it was embarrassing when the cashier told me when I went in "sorry we don't have hurricane today, you only drink hurricane"

[@herefortheshrimp1469]

It always feels so weirdly objectifying when they call themselves “a fat” or refer to not obese people as “the thins” 😵‍💫 I’m a bodybuilder but I would never identify myself as “a muscle” lol

[@Joeybsmooth]

As someone who was overweight, that ain't normal. These fat acceptance are just horrible all around.

[@heyizz]

I kinda wanna do that it sounds hilarious

[@kimf1993]

Of course not. You have more than one so you’re ‘muscles’ or ‘a strong’

[@AHHHHHHwhyisntitavalibebro]

HELP THAYS ACTUALLY SO FUNNY

[@breauseph]

Low key that would be hilarious though

[@aprilsunflower7440]

Today was weigh in day and so far I've lost 76 lbs now 66 to go. This is one of the channels I watch for inspiration 😊

[@JaceD-u3h]

Good for you!! 🎉 that’s amazing work. I’ve just started my journey - 7lbs down, 103lbs to go. Got a long road ahead but I’m ready!!

[@aprilsunflower7440]

@@JaceD-u3h Thank you. Every pound in the right direction is a victory. Keep it going.

[@azuredystopia3751]

Amazing- you're killing it well done. X.

[@riaaly509]

Me too, I’m proud of you. I’m down 161 to 130, these videos remind me that I’m doing my body justice 😊

[@CorduroyVeg]

Congratulations!🎊 This channel really has helped with keeping myself more in check. I know I still have ways to go but with loosing 35lbs so far I’m seeing so many personal improvements☺️

[@ObsidianSally]

That "omg no you're not fat" comments come from fat people too but in a mean way. "You're not fat. If you think YOU'RE fat then what about ME?"

[@irmaktemel7171]

I used to do that! My friend who said it is tall and slender, with just a little fat tissue in not so fortunate areas but while she is valid to feel insecure about that and wanting to vent the frustration out, her saying it to me when I was overweight just felt like a slap in the face

[@epowell4211]

My bestie/workout buddy weighs less than my goal weight, and early on in our fitness journey, it would really rankle me when she complained about her "pot belly" then, when she lost weight, her loose skin. I was like, "you think you're fat? what does that make me? gargantuan? mountainous? When you have to pull your flaccid butt cheeks apart before you sit on the toilet to pin them out of the way, THEN you can complain about YOUR loose skin." I finally realized how wrong it was for me to feel that way. I'd never tell someone who was depressed they shouldn't feel that way because I've been through much worse. Feelings aren't a competition, everyone is entitled to own their feelings. It may be tone deaf to share them to certain people without acknowledging they feel them too, but that doesn't lessen the validity.

[@NessieNomsChu]

God, i've literally gotten this so many times from my other fat friends and I'm standing there, literally class 2 obese with joint pain, high cholesterol, and high blood pressure due to my weight. I'm 30lbs down now and still chuggin but it's comments like those that make me distance myself from those friends. Meanwhile i know they think that it's because "i think im better than them" or that I've suddenly become fatphobic while still fat or something lol.

[@indirita5]

I mean, kinda sucks to hear someone says your body is their worst nightmare 😂 you have to do a lot of self work to hear that comment and understand that It comes from their stuff and it doesn't reflect on you, but doesn't make it any less ironic to hear your friends being nice to you and pretend you're not fat then bash their own bodies to shreds while being half your weight, sometimes I've had it and be like "man I know, it is awful being this fat I get you" then watch them blab and blush trying to take their words back or fix it somehow, lil guilty pleasure

[@madison_crvt]

that is not a "fat person" thing, it is a "deeply insecure person" thing. i feel the exact same way about eating fast food in public and i'm underweight. a lot of the claims of "social fatphobia" are just projecting your insecurities onto innocent bystanders

[@ghillies4life]

A phrase I discovered a few years ago that has changed my life: "I'm sad you feel bad, but I'm not responsible for what you think I think."

[@Madcattus]

As a skinny person, I think it's just difficult to approach a fat person because you don't how how they will react. If you compliment them, they won't believe it. If you don't then they'd think you think they're not beautiful. I hope that fat people see this as an individual thing rather than generalize all skinny people. When my friend talks about how fat she is, I really don't know how to react. I don't know if I'll validate her to help her be less insecure or just say yes to whatever self deprecating thing she says.

[@iamdanielle]

Ask them what feels good/helpful.

[@user-wg1xk7ji1n]

I was thinking the same thing. The other day I had a convo with a coworker who said she liked my necklace but could never wear it because she was too fat to fit it. I said “oh actually you could buy a necklace extender if you wanna try it” and she literally gasped and said “oh wow so you really think I’m that fat?? I thought you were gonna say no you aren’t fat but you just agreed I was fat” and I was like…. Dude. 🙄 these conversations are a minefield

[@SirThinks2Much]

​@@user-wg1xk7ji1n behavior straight from Mean Girls. "You're so pretty!" "Oh! Thanks." "So you think you're pretty." "???"

[@carolagab]

Maybe cause most skinny people intentionally say things to make them feel better or make them the center of attention. I never met one who genuinely gave a compliment. Always some underlying stab under it

[@krisztinaboros206]

@@user-wg1xk7ji1n You absolutely should not feel bad about it. you did just the right thing. you were kind and helpful and understanding but they are miserable and try to blame you for it. they are trash

[@Impassion]

I notice a lot of the fat acceptance people constantly talking about how they get judged so much more for eating fast food, but 'everybody does it.' I don't think it occurs to them that actually, many people don't eat fast food. I eat lots of food that isn't great, yes, like I love frozen pizza at home. But I actually never eat fast food. It's expensive, they always mess up my order, it gets cold and gross so fast I don't even know why anyone bothers to take it home because it's cold and nasty after three minutes. It's also garbage food even lower on the scale than most other junk food. I think some of these obese people need to understand that they're being judged for eating fast food so much because they actually AREN'T eating it the way 'everybody else does.' They don't understand normal eating habits. If we ate like them, we'd be as fat as them. (This girl can actually admit that, so that's good).

[@gojiberry7201]

Correct. I don't eat fast food, either

[@kimicope_]

Oh good point! We eat fast food maybe once a week or if we had a busy day but if I'm not cooking I'd rather go to a sit down place. It's probably not that much healthier than ff but it is atleast cooked and prepared freshly

[@puppykitten1557]

This is really true. I do eat fast food - but only once every two weeks, or when I’m traveling. I know this isn’t all fat people but I’ve heard some fat people (such as Chantal and Amberlynn) who order fast food multiple times a day, and that’s really not the same.

[@xtinkerbellax3]

Yea, I eat out one meal a week but it's rarely fast food, I find typical fast food really unsatiating tbh.

[@wokeXposer]

Exactly. sometimes saying the truth>being kind.

[@native_saiyan]

I was told "You're not fat. You're big bone." Or "Muscle weighs more than fat. Youre all muscle." I wish some people especially ones close to me was serious to me when i was getting fatter. Maybe just maybe i wouldnt have gotten to 674 lbs. I am down to 401 currently. But i know that can backfire on certain people. It makes them gain weoghr after being told they're fat.

[@varalys]

Congrats on the weight loss! That's amazing, Well done!

[@ctobolsk]

Amazing weight loss! You’ve got this ❤

[@anonmouse15]

Used to have a coworker tell me that his doctorr said he had too much muscle tissue, while weighing 110kg and having a massive panniculus. Apparently, he thought we were blind.

[@LynshereeEastman]

Exactly! My family and those closest always saying "you're not fat" ok but I was and I needed honesty and support not coddling!

[@plague9774]

Omg same I was told I was big boned- I didn’t get to 600s, but I got to 200s. Now I’m 147.

[@JohnNathanShopper]

9:02 “I always felt that my weight was holding me back, but it wasn’t this panacea that fixed everything…” YES! Losing weight is just one arm of an improved life, one priority to be balanced with all the others

[@skyegroome223]

The neighbors don't care what food you're bringing into your house. They're busy living their lives, which is what she should be doing. They think people are hyper focused on them, but people in general are minding their own business and worrying about their own crap.

[@ieltsadam]

This is the truth. People aren't thinking about you at all and even if they are, it's fleeting and they're not invested in it.

[@Lau3464l]

This is true, and the psychological effects of this kind of hyperaware, hyperfixation, and paranoia all lead to more compulsive eating as a means to relieve that stress.

[@eveangel8967]

yea it’s kind of self-obsessed to constantly be thinking about what others think of you when in reality, people probably don’t think of you in general

[@manuelochoa9266]

Exactly! I live in an apartment building I don't know any of my neighbors! They come in and out of their apartment and I do the same in my apartment,I might say hi to them but I really don't care what they bring home and I know they are not worry about what I bring into my apartment! I think this girl either suffers from paranoia or she just say those things to make videos. 😅😅😅😅

[@ВероникаЛазаренкова]

My brother's wife just died yesterday due to health complications of being 530 lbs... as a morbidly obese myself, this one hits me hard.

[@anne-claudec9405]

Hi Veronica, I'm sorry to read that. Take care of yourself and your family.

[@chantalprins3360]

I am so sorry for your loss!

[@UncleMikeDrop]

Yeah. People get away with wearing less when they are attractive because people like looking at them. They also get a lot of unwanted attention regardless of what they wear because PEOPLE LIKE LOOKING AT THEM!

[@irmaktemel7171]

Started noticing this a lot, lately. I am very self-conscious so I notice everyone that stares at me/looks my way for a long time. And I have noticed a significant increase from when I was overweight to now (not "skinny" per se but standart sized)

[@Nbs1312]

Goin from 240 lb to then underweight 120 (gettin compared to Rob Pattinson n other celebs)I can attest to this, I got modeling offers n such but both were hell

[@CatWSPRER]

I think part her insecurities are due to her age, not just her weight. I’m an older fat woman and I don’t care who sees me in sweats carrying fast food. I really don’t care. But I was more self-conscious as a young, normal weight woman.

[@NessieNomsChu]

I think this is a HUGE thing that people do not realize. Skinny privilege or pretty privilege is way more prevalent in younger communities, school, and certain younger workplace environments. Not saying it's not a thing when you get older, but being a full grown adult with my own business and hanging around other grown adults it's just different. I'm fat, disabled, and queer as fuck in a town that's half red and I just don't seem to have issues the way i use to. The vast majority of people have vices. Cigarettes, weed, alcohol, food, sweets, video games, excessive exercise .. we all have something these days.

[@BronzedBeast]

​@NessieNomsChu Her issue is she's too pretty. She's very self conscious and thinking people are judging her when no one is even thinking that. I look at that girl and if she's got fast food or dressed lazily as she stated. I'm not thinking negative. I'm thinking dang she's really cute. I wonder if she's single. Probably not but should I shoot my shot?

[@emryborge7027]

If she thinks bullying makes you better, she’s never been bullied

[@tomatochemist]

Regarding the male attention thing, like a lot of young girls I developed early. I was actually thin and quite hourglass of until my late 20s. The amount of men who were completely inappropriate around me, including when I was a child was so disgusting and disturbing. It’s actually a big reason that I struggle losing weight now because I don’t wanna go back to feeling like a piece of meat.

[@BronzedBeast]

Hate to break it to you but fat fetish exists as well. Live for yourself. Who cares what others think. Someone is gonna be weird to you no matter what. Old women at my job have touched my butt, rubbed my sides, tried to touch my 🐓, etc. I know it sucks. It's actually traumatizing especially since I can't really do nothing about it. I work at a mall so I'm never gonna see these ladies again. So calling the cops would do nothing for me but I don't want to be overweight and in poor health because of those people. I won't harm myself because of others

[@GigglewithFelix321]

​@@BronzedBeastless people have a fat fetish than a fit person fetish. If she doesn't want attention from men, being fat helps

[@breauseph]

Dude the thing about enjoying men NOT hitting on you is so real. Prior to my mastectomy it was insane how entitled guys felt to just yell sexual things at me from their cars or make a comment on my body because I - crime of all crimes - walked past them. The amount of catcalling has been reduced by 90% since the mastectomy and honestly just aging. When I was in my 20s and complaininh about street harassment a lot of men AND women would say things like "you'll miss it when it's gone" - I don't. I don't like strangers talking to me, I especially don't like strangers talking to me about sex or my body, I hate distractions from what I'm doing, and I can't tell you how much I enjoy having my precious fucking time to myself instead of having gross men ceaselessly demand it from me.

[@BussyBoyBonanza]

I had a similar experience. When I lost the weight I started getting a lot of attention I didn't want. It happened slowly so I couldn't put two and two together as to why it was happening. I finally complained about to someone and then they pointed out it was because I had become more attractive. People also think you're easier if you were fat too. If you wanna see how shallow people are, lose some weight. Still glad I did though.

[@GigglewithFelix321]

I pray that no man ever approaches you again, so you continue to have that peace.

[@breauseph]

@@GigglewithFelix321 I'm assuming this is supposed to be sarcastic but genuinely that would be a dream and, considering I married the love of my life ten years ago, very much a better use of all of our time.

[@sarahb8073]

Agreed. Didn't have a mastectomy, but moved to a small town and everything is different. I don't miss it at all. It was at best annoying and sometimes it was really scary

[@emilyswanson8269]

As a lady drummer being praised for the bare minimum , I’m with you there. People were just shocked to death I could even keep a beat, let alone play fast. Thank goodness there are more lady drummers that are complete beasts on a kit these days !

[@aren7138]

The hardest thing about denial is desperately trying to convince others you're happy when you're not. Denial is transparent to others but not to the person themselves.

[@Deets-Does-Stuff]

While I understand where she’s coming from, I do think there’s a big difference btwn “having your balls busted” and bullying.

[@Blueskies271]

Absolutely. Being intentionally and systematically targeted on a consistent basis is bullying and no one deserves that. Being teased is a different thing. Also not great but much different.

[@L1ncore]

I mean i think she Was making that distinction by clarifying she didnt mean hardcore bullying, just being teased and growing a thicker skin. Which, I do agree with even if she worded it poorly.

[@AnkushDhingra-b4t]

Ok I am not fat, and I feel judged carrying fast-food bags... WE ALL DO! Cause we all know its bad for us...

[@bloodrainicorn6193]

I feel guilty the moment my car is in the driveway thru. I know it’s not great for me - but occasionally I indulge

[@reggie3819]

True

[@ianardell4660]

You don’t have to “all lives matter” something clearly focused at fat people. You may feel judged but your belief that your being judged isn’t the same as the reality that they probably are while your not

[@AnkushDhingra-b4t]

@@ianardell4660 cool story bro

[@ianardell4660]

@@AnkushDhingra-b4t thanks I appreciate it. Correcting people forcefully trying to make other peoples issues about themselves is my fav story to tell.

[@milidderosas5896]

I did not notice I came this early to this video. But it's a good chance to remind you that you're content is great. You treat all the cases so respectfully, that's sweet .

[@FromTheAshes7]

I feel the same about John -- he's always so respectful, has nuance, and handles everything with tact. I think that's why I've been following for the last 5 years!

[@booskie4316]

Getting objectified is great... to an extent. It's great when the people you're attracted to notice you. It sucks when the people you aren't interested in won't stop staring at you.

[@erlandaislund4594]

I am losing weight right now (38lbs already gone, ~40 to go) and one of my biggest enciuragements is, that i do not want to atract the extremly creepy feeder guys. Realising, that i was on the best way to be atractive to that kind of people, was a huge scare.

[@EricaTheTrippyHippy]

I was a drummer in a band back in the day too,we were called Rock Candy.😁 I went from 214lbs to 125lbs on keto in a year,and I continue to keep it off.🙂 Love your content,positive energy.🌻

[@ED-hi1vo]

I'm glad you admitted losing weight doesn't automatically make you irresistible! The gym can only fix so much.

[@GigglewithFelix321]

It fixes most things regarding your appearance.

[@elizabethkay4428]

Totally agree with you that women are probably more likely to feel judged/observed (though then again I am a woman, I can't speak for blokes lol)

[@Quan_Dingle_]

Probably. But also women will have more plus size representation. I remember going to target and all the models and mannequins in the women’s section of all shapes and sizes. Didn’t see any in the men’s section

[@ivory867]

I'd kinda disagree fat women have safe places/social media where people will tell them they are beautiful there's not anything really like that for men if you're a fat guy people are open and willing to judge and comment on how you look even in shows and movies most fat men are depicted as either comedic relief or villains and you don't see fat men modeling or really having any social media presence for the most part even the body positivity stuff is mainly fat women not many men shown in there

[@josephdillon9698]

I mean if a woman’s hips are wide enough it don’t matter what size they are. I hit the gym and I like larger women. But some women aren’t going to be noticed if they are big. And if your heavy as a man than no one cares about you.

[@ctobolsk]

@@ivory867I think that’s definitely the case for online spaces, but I think irl women are judged more harshly by the average person

[@ritahelll]

@@ivory867I would agree with you in media fat women are more respected and represented but in the real world fat men are always more respected and valued. Usually because women, even if they don’t want to sleep with someone is still polite enough to them and treats them like a human. Men generally struggle with the concept. If they don’t want to sleep with a girl they might as well not exist lol (in my experience and many other women’s experience)

[@wellyano6964]

Escaping the male gaze has been one of the most liberating things about getting fat and old. I’m no longer young and skinny and in some ways it’s a relief.

[@GigglewithFelix321]

I'm happy for you that men no longer find you attractive.

[@sayastra]

The saying "you're not fat" is in part because we have been told that it's negative rather than a description. I mean when I tell people "I'm awkward" I have people going "No!! That's not true" and I'm like "it's a description, chill" However, I would never describe someone as "fat". . . but if someone called me awkward I'd be like "yeah, what's your point, oh so insightful one?"

[@BronzedBeast]

Those are negative descriptors. That's why we don't like saying it. It's mean to call someone fat cause it hurts their feelings. Same with calling someone awkward. It's still negative. Sure it doesn't bother you but everyone isn't you. A majority of people don't wanna be called fat or awkward

[@sayastra]

@@BronzedBeast Thanks for agreeing with me?

[@reformingbeauty]

I've lost 250 lbs and still don't get attention from men. I've just assumed now I must be really ugly, fat or skinny. Though, I think I'm actually kinda pretty and all my woman friends tell me that I am beautiful. So then I think I just have a crappy personality. Or I'm so beautiful, men find me intimidating 😅

[@shermymejia3040]

Wow, 👏 congrats on losing the 250lbs!

[@sleepingbathtub8477]

congrats on achieving that big of a goal, holy cow!! 😭❤ Sorry if it sounds like I'm inserting myself into your situation rn, I know that some people feel a bit bothered when people go "omg same!!" and immediately switch the attention onto them solely after someone had the courage to pour their heart out. I hope this doesn't come off as such. I truly feel this tbh. I wasn't far too heavy and lost my 50 lbs too to get to a normal weight and bmi. I mostly did it to have a "glow up" and a bit more luck in the dating world, but it's been dryer than the sahara, haha. If not, people became more cold nd rude to me than before, even on a daily conversation basis. Guess that I'm just not feminine or pretty enough which kinda stings a bit 🥲I guess women view beauty and attractiveness quite differently than a good portion of men (don't wanna assume anything though, it's just what you sometimes notice).

[@ladybirdlee3058]

I'm the same. I lost 180lbs over a period of many years. I wear size mediums/10 and don't really get any male attention. I thought I would when I lost weight. But oh well.

[@Justme-hc3kt]

Unfortunately the woke feminist ruined it for your generation, men don’t approach women anymore for the simple fact of being told no or made fun of

[@reformingbeauty]

​@@ladybirdlee3058❤ Well, I guess we are all in good company then! Good women with no real prospects.

[@christyguichard8013]

I’m not obese and never have been but I have extra weight and my therapist thinks the reason why I sabotage losing weight is because I see it as a human shield from people as I happily get less attention from unwanted men and cat called etc And that’s a hard comfort to want to break as I want to be left alone but then I also of course do what the right people to want to find me attractive So it’s something I need to work on so I be more healthy without the fear of attention

[@hannahk8te]

i think so much of this is just anxiety. they would still feel this way if they weighed less. it’s just more convenient to pin it on fatphobia than it is to go to therapy and try working through those feelings

[@stereotypea123]

Maybe, maybe not. If you’re treated a certain way because something about you is different to the status quo, that is anxiety that has been allowed to flourish because of those conditions. They could also just have anxiety regardless but I don’t think it’s a wild concept that being treated with contempt by people because of your appearance could affect the level of anxiety.

[@Lau3464l]

I don’t think it’s convenient to pin it on fatphobia, but I do think a lot of it is anxiety or a consequence of anxiety. I think being able to correlate it with fatphobia can be helpful for a person’s healing as they try to be healthier, but of course the downsides of obesity can’t all be attributed to fatphobia

[@BronzedBeast]

​@@stereotypea123she's not being treated any way though. She says she feels judged to do things. She doesn't know if anyone is judging her at all. If you don't think skinny girls dont feel like their being judged cause they aren't following the newest Kim K trend?

[@BronzedBeast]

​@@Lau3464luntil they lose the weight but still have the self esteem issues cause losing weight doesn't solve all your issues lol. Just now you don't have your convenient excuse of fatphobia

[@EEsmalls]

Another thing I don't like about the whole "you're not fat, you're beautiful!" thing is that those things are not mutually exclusive. Like a woman can't be overweight but ALSO beautiful? It's only one or the other?

[@wideride8320]

"You don't need all of that" and it's literally just a McChicken and a small fry. 🤦‍♀️

[@Vesperfelis]

My issue with people like her is that she tries to make it a gender issue. Men and women go through very similar experiences when overweight. Her comment about fat women not being able to have standards and having to settle for the ‘ugly’ man made me roll my eyes. As a formerly obese man, I experienced the same thing. Any time a woman, whether I personally found her attractive or not, showed interest in me, I was pressured by friends and family to just go for it, no matter how many times I said I didn’t find her attractive personally.

[@LADY_Orchid]

Gotta say it kinda pains me when you said girls didn't consider you when you were bigger. You have a handsome face and I don't know you at all but if the personality works, there's more than just fat to a person. I'm a fat Lady now. When I was a teenager I was about a Medium size and I didn't have much luck with boys. I decided to start going to the gym, getting fitter, etc. One day I left the gym and this creep looked me up and down and just said "hey baby whats your name" and i said "none of your business". Then I was overcome with this icky feeling. I thought "I don't want to be looked at like that, i want to be valued by who i am as a person.." and that day i stopped going. In my life I have dated both super skinny and bigger men, because to me the person mattered more than their body status. The only thing I wasn't into ever, was people submitting to being fat. What I mean is, people like Tess Holiday bother me. Love thyself but always strive to do better. I want to lose weight, i want to see if shedding enough pounds kills my need for a cpap. Maybe it does maybe it doesn't but as someone said being fat is unnecessarily exhausting. Losing weight, despite our dreams of it fixing everything, does not do that. We have to lower our expectations in that regard. One of my favorite coworkers at the last game company I worked for, was a big funny dude. He was like sunshine to me. I have a rule not to date coworkers so i never asked him out, but i thought about it. A few years later he shed all his extra weight. He was a skinny dude, I was proud of his accomplishments. I thought "he must be happy to finally be skinny". I was so wrong. I later got news he left this realm and it really drove the point that "losing weight will not fix everything" straight thru my heart. What we need as a society is to stop being so harsh on people for their bodies and provide people with more mental health care. Yes losing weight and getting fit will help the psyche, but we need to also not bet all our chips in the same spot. I dunno where this is going. Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.

[@starkman78]

That’s just terrible about your friend. 😢

[@LADY_Orchid]

@starkman78 i know... That's why my brain fizzed out as I wrote, I had tears running down my face remembering it all. He was such a good dude. I also think we need to be kinder to men and their feelings. Bottling emotions should not be seen as synonymous with toughness/manliness... ever.

[@Quossum]

I squeed when I saw the Italian Greyhound in the last clip. I’m not sure if the dog was hers or the friend’s, but I will say that there’s a bit of a reputation in the purebred dog world that larger people gravitate to the skinny breeds. Pure silliness, I’m sure… but at my highest weight I owned… An Italian Greyhound and a Borzoi. 🤔

[@jessicalynne1359]

Hmm that’s super interesting! Lowkey gonna go google that and see if I can find any discussion about it. Also I love Italian Greyhounds, but I think it’s bc I watched Jenna Marbles for a long time. 😂

[@BubblesChika]

I can relate to her. I hated going to fast food places when it was even slightly packed, thinking the customers would be judging me for indulging at my weight. I'm happy I just naturally never eat out anymore

[@skyegroome223]

You guys worry too much about what other people think. Most people mind their own business and are focused on their own tasks/issues. I've never been in a fast food restaurant, saw a fat person and thought "you probably shouldn't be eating here" I'm either thinking I'm freaking hungry or, I shouldn't be eating out because my bank account is going to hate me.

[@JaiiDaily]

One thing I once talked about with a friend while I was over 300lbs was the whole hoodie and sweats and people thinking how youre just lazy or don't care about yourself because you're fat and wearing that. At that time my friend was like a size 0, and her perspective was that when she wore hoodies and sweats people would think she's on drugs and an addict because of the thinness combined with the clothes. Just an interesting perspective difference for those who think it's only one sideded.

[@Mom-jn6rh]

I hope my son grows up to be as polite and gracious as you seem! And I know that’s weird but you’re so nice and honest, I admire it!

[@ShelbySays]

I dont think ive ever been this early 😅. Being overweight/obese+ is hard but the overthinking is crazy. People at mcdonalds dont give a shit what you order - and even if they do- why do you care at all? Its so much wasted energy. *edited for typo

[@ShelbySays]

Plus, someone feeling self conscious doesn't immediately mean it's anyone else's problem. It doesn't automatically mean anyone HAS to be sensitive to your weird hang ups.

[@Lau3464l]

The overthinking is a big part of it, as people who are hypervigilant and overly aware/anxious about how they are perceived are more likely to be more stressed on a daily basis and therefore more likely to turn to vices for relief, whether that be food, alcohol, cigarettes, etc. Even when you rationally know no one gives a fuck about what you’re doing, it’s very hard to turn off that part of your brain that automatically becomes paranoid about how you’re perceived. In my opinion this kind of self consciousness can severely perpetuate obesity

[@LynshereeEastman]

My family and those closest always saying "you're not fat" ok but I was and I needed honesty and support not coddling! I l knew i was overweight and i didnt want to complain i needed help and resources. So telling me im not fat ages 12-20 really messed up my body image. I dont say im fat to get compliments, im fat and if im bringing it up, its because its relevant to the convo. Yall. For real.

[@abigails8045]

So interesting hearing her talk about the “benefits of being fat” as you don’t get attention from men. That’s totally fucked with me and my perception of my attractiveness and desirability.

[@ctobolsk]

After I was SA’d I gained a bunch of weight. I think I subconsciously thought if I was heavy it wouldn’t happen again

[@abigails8045]

@@ctobolsk I definitely know that’s been some people’s experience. It’s just wild to see what people thing are vs aren’t benefits.

[@sierratree93]

I have never in my life paid any attention to what kind of food my neighbors bring into their home. Unless it smelled partially good or something.

[@kayakat1869]

I think its kinda cringe how so many grips made by FAs are about dating and clothes. Like, that's not the most important thing in life at all

[@tiffanymuchmore869]

Oof I heard the "I love you like a sister" line so many times

[@GigglewithFelix321]

Complain about the male gaze and complain about not getting the male gaze.

[@kimicope_]

Ngl I've never felt like my neighbor would even care what I was doing 😂. The only time I felt like I might be judged by the drive thru cashier is when I had binge eating disorder because I felt internal shame for the disorder but I've never felt shamed ordering fast food for myself when I'm eating and appropriate amount. And that's the difference between someone that eats a little more than they should and overtime become obese and someone that has an eating disorder that causes the weight gain to be put on quickly and at significant amount. Basically the habits can be shameful but the food itself is not.

[@susannahc]

Interesting, I've gotten waayyyyy more attention/catcalling from men when I'm heavier! Went from 275 to 165 about 8-10 years ago and the cat-calling and creepy attention stopped entirely around 180lbs (then again I'm fairly muscular so that may play into it). Now my weight has been creeping up over the past few years (185 now) and it has started up a bit again! Good motivation to lose again, haha.

[@avonleamontague2469]

The other "No, you're not fat" issue is that fat is considered a negative thing and even used as an insult. It's a bit distorted but that's what the people who say "Aww, no, you're not fat" are actually responding to as well.

[@SolitaryGem]

As a woman who used to be obese, I honestly never worried about ppl judging my food order or being put-together all the time. Think she's just in her head.

[@ximar0ckstrx]

I say this as someone that used to be morbidly obese.... Fat people think way too much about themselves and think that the world thinks too much about them also. The major thing I learned after losing 100 lbs was that no one cared about me or what I did. It was all in my own head. Also, I detest the "fatphobia" catch all. Just because you're offended by something doesn't mean that it what the person intended or that it's "fatphobia"

[@5und43]

Ok, its not that my friends can't call themselves fat, its more that you're my friend. I am not gonna stand there and let you be disrespected. Even if the disrespect is self-inflicted, you deserve better than that and I got you. 😤 "Your mean inner-voice and I have beef now" if you pull this, is the best I can describe it, lol

[@GhostsRustyKnee]

The catcall thing 100%. Been on both extremes, now that I'm straightsize I've been around really skinny girls and FORGOT how disgusting and terrifying men become. I don't envy it or miss it at all.

[@epowell4211]

I'm not a fast food binger type, so the only time I felt that "they're judging me on my food" was when I was doing WeightWatchers in a small town and one of the area leaders was also the manager of the McDonald's, her son frequently working the window. I personally loathe McD's, but would regularly be asked by husband to go pick up food for him after the meeting: double quarter pounder with cheese, large fries, often a second smaller burger, and a large DIET coke. Many women in the group would basically fast all day to get a good weigh in, then go out to eat after and use up all their extra weekly points before starting fresh the next day, so there would be at least a half dozen members pigging out at McDs. I loved the manager's son: he knew how much I hated going there, and when he would see it was me, he made sure to roll the bag tightly closed to "keep those evil fry gasses from escaping" lol. When it was the manager at the window, it really sucked - you could tell she didn't believe it wasn't for me. The fact it was Diet coke just made it worse - like I was one of those idiots who thought that would cancel the impact of the rest of the meal. Just realized I lied: I also feel like I'm being judged when I eat at a buffet, not because I eat a large quantity, but because I eat a normal to small size plate of food. I imagine people think I'm purposely not eating to look like I eat healthier, or worse, that I'm a stomach surgery patient who is failing. I simply can't eat a lot at once without being ill, literally gagging. I usually eat 4-9 times daily, because I often can't eat a full balanced meal at one sitting - I'll eat all the meat, stop, go back and eat one side, stop, go back and eat the other, over the course of hours. AARGH!!! I've always said a fat person has to dress twice as nice to be perceived as looking half as good. My example to prove this is, think of a corporate company picnic: skinny white young blond can wear t-shirt (maybe knotted to one side or tucked in) and be seen as dressed well, while your obese colleague needs to wear dressy capris and a blouse or a skirt or sundress to be perceived as equally well dressed. My workout buddy always compliments me on how put together my outfits are, and even though I've lost over 140lbs, I still follow that rule: I have to match, clothes have to fit, it has to look like a curated outfit, I have to do my hair. I don't wear makeup or much jewelry, but am so meticulous on clothing, I even coordinate my sleep bra, sleep shorts, and sleep shirt to all match so I don't feel like a slob. I live in a low average income rural area, and people often wear pjs/ nightgowns/ housecoats, cut offs, filthy clothes, ripped clothes, etc and I still feel the need to dress nice. "I said I was fat, not ugly!" was my favorite comeback to the ,"you're not fat - you're beautiful". What really annoyed me was when I lost about 30 lbs and was still over100lbs overweight, my MIL started calling me "skinny Minnie". She did love me, and she meant that as a compliment - to encourage me, reward me for doing well - but UGH, it just felt so mocking. I do feel I used my weight to protect me from sexual attention. Didn't work, still suffered SA more than once, but it did feel like a buffer, let my slide around the outskirts instead of being a target out in the open. The weight thing is a double edged sword as well: we want reinforcement when we lose weight, we want people to notice and say "good job", but when you are obese, the amount you have to lose for anyone to notice is insane! I remember going to church after getting my 75lb loss coin at WeightWatchers, feeling pretty good until I overheard a group cooing over this "normal" size woman about her weight loss, how she looked so good, you could really tell. She had lost EIGHT POUNDS!!! 8 freaking pounds - like, a day's worth of food for some, and about the same as I'd sweat off working in the garden one day. I'd lost 75 and no one noticed, but her 8lbs? She couldn't have gotten more attention if she'd had her arm chopped off. I've been on a weight loss/fitness journey for over 2 years, and it blows my mind that people didn't seem to notice a change until I'd lost 100lbs, but after that, they'd notice when I was just down a few more pounds. OMG, laughing at the praise thing because it's so true! My bestie (starting weight 130) has been my workout buddy for over 2 years, working harder than me nearly every time, but who do people fawn over and say, "you're such an inspiration! you're so dedicated!" LOL

[@LiciFreak]

it took me a minute to explain to my friends that when i say i’m fat im not saying it in a negative way, it’s more of a neutral statement. both of them completely understood and never tried to make a counter compliment when i said it.

[@Zelda-w2b]

I read a few comments and just want to say congrats on your weight losses and I think you must surely inspire people . 😘

[@donnagregory1053]

Growing up plus sized whenever I said I was fat and people would compliment me I would be bothered on the grounds of I believed they were lying and gonna make fun of me. So that fear sits well within me

[@jenniav9]

I really appreciate your videos and your perspective. You help to put some of my own experiences into words when I struggle to articulate what I've gone through, as a fat girl and throughout my health journey.

[@paigejohnstone4272]

I can understand the “people telling me I’m not fat when I’m being open about being fat” I’ve been losing weight and it’s made me more open to what my body actually looks like and when I say something like “well I don’t wanna wear that because of how it’ll shape my stomach” or “I’m not eating that because I’m fat/bigger and I feel like it’s too much of this or that” I’ll either get the response of wide eyes and silence or the classic “oh my gooood you’re not fat” and I just look at them and I try to be honest I’ll go along the lines of “ I am- and that’s okay. I’m changing myself and if I lie and say I’m not bigger then I’m lying to myself and preventing progress. I have to be realistic it’s okay to do that. It’s okay to call me fat as long as you’re not doing it in a demeaning way” and 90% of the time the conversation ends in awkward silence.

[@kathleendonnelly6077]

I was actually in the grocery store and had a few treats plus Diet Coke in my cart. There was a lady and her friend behind me. One of the women said to the other, “why are the fat people always buying diet soda?” Very hurtful.

[@katet_33]

No one looks at a thin person in sweat pants or pjs in public and thinks "cute".

[@_Paul_N]

Smaller girls can get away with sweats in public due to the natural male gaze. Pajamas on the other hand looks trashy on any body shape. We also know you haven’t washed 🤷🏽‍♂️

[@kiramathers7866]

The one thing that makes me really sad about body positivity and fat acceptance is that there is a benefit to it. I believe there is a benefit to seeing representation/clothes that fit. You have to see value in yourself in order to make the necessary life style changes. But often, it's taken to an extreme extent as an excuse to avoid confronting reality. I really appreciate your honest, yet compassionate take on these issues.

[@JaceD-u3h]

Almost all her complaints were things I felt (feel) being the size that I am, and I feel for the things that she’s saying. They were all factors as to why I finally decided to turn my life around and loose weight. Complaining and excuses weren’t getting me far

[@alexamandes8872]

Your band reminds me of gym class heroes back in the day

[@gounipanthers1]

People will often say, "Oh you're not fat," not because they are trying to stay positive, but because they are uncomfortable. Often they're uncomfortable because they don't know what to say and rather than just admit that they say "Oh you're not fat" so their discomfort will end.

[@GenuineJess]

It's funny because I've been obese all of my adult life and I've never once felt that people didn't take me serious. Maybe it's because I was in a profession that was predominantly women which was being a nanny and now I'm a teacher so people do take me seriously because I should know what I'm talking about for the most part. But I don't think I've ever felt that way. Maybe when I was younger but that was more age than weight and I was quite thin when I was little. Also the thing about being invisible as a fat person is so true. I am 5'10 and I'm just over 300 lb I've lost weight so at my heaviest I was 392 lb, and I don't feel like anyone truly saw me which to me is ridiculous because I literally take up a lot of space and I'm very obvious.

[@CherishTheePetersen]

Now friend, you are looking especially jacked today. The cut is cutting 🎉 good for you

[@kimicope_]

That's the first thing I noticed 😂

[@freckles2437]

I think she's interesting and a realist.

[@thatwheelchairphotog]

I fully get the clothing thing. I'm a part time wheelchair user and put so much more effort into my appearance on wheelchair days vs cane days.

[@Louiseonajourney]

The part about ordering two drinks with the fast-food made me laugh; every now and then me and my overweight husband order a family sized pizza but a lot of times we only order one drink because I drink water. I wonder what the delivery guy thinks when my fat husband opens the door, they probably think he's eating that entire pizza by himself 😂

[@ashelese]

I really enjoy your videos. it’s refreshing to see a man be so open with his feelings and striving to be better everyday. In tune with your emotions and hot, your partner must be so happy she found a good one. It’s not easy for women to find a man like you😤

[@nocouponsforkaren8587]

To add on to the trendy clothes are for skinny people, i am 110lb male and cant find clothes that fit me properly ever lol idk who they make clothes for

[@mayjailerxx]

That’s a lot smaller than the average adult male. Trendy clothes are still far more geared towards smaller bodies

[@nocouponsforkaren8587]

@@mayjailerxx I am too small for adult clothes and too big for kids clothes. My point was just that it's not always greener. I have a lot of the same issues as larger people but on the other end of the spectrum, I just wanted to contribute to the conversation haha

[@Hwgt888]

She’s the same woman who posts about losing weight in a calorie deficit and literally admits to overeating daily. Hm.

[@CS-06]

I thought she looked familiar

[@louisehad]

About the "men vs women overeating" part of the video, at around 2:00. I really agree, I think it IS less socially acceptable for women to overeat. And I say that as someone who's never been fat, but who has been "overeating" at one point. When I was a teenager, I was taller and bigger than anyone else, and very active, so obviously I ate a lot more than others. And that very often made me feel bad and "less feminine". It's very common for "smaller eating" to be perceived as feminine/girly behavior (in Japan for instance, the smaller a girl's bento is, the cuter and more feminine she is). And overeating is often perceived as manly. It's not uncommon for men to brag or "compete" with each other about how much they can eat. Again, I wasn't fat at all. The eating alone was enough for me to feel "wrong" and "too manly". Add to that the extreme standards on women's body (especially in the 2000s, when many of those fat activists were teens/ young adults), and I'm not surprised at all to learn that ordering fast food at home is shameful for many women.

[@notimportant123]

Having standards is great, but be aware that the people who meet your standards will also have standards...and they'll likely have options...

[@stereotypea123]

This is the fat women’s loneliness epidemic but we don’t get to cry about it and be taken seriously unlike the male loneliness epidemic lmao.

[@amandamoon60]

I heard, years ago, that trendy fashion is made to look good on hangers. That put a very interesting perspective on how clothes fit me and how I feel in them

[@SarahFunes]

When I was at my heaviest at 226 I didn’t care about what people would think about what I ate. People talk about the anxiety of people judging what you ate. I never had this. I was fat because I was bored. I ate to fill time. I ate whatever I wanted whenever I wanted. What people thought about what I ate didn’t bother me at all personally. Also when I was fat I didn’t have a problem dating. I didn’t have to go to bars. I met people off the apps or just in person. Also on top of all of this I didn’t eat a lot of junk food. When you’re thin when you gain weight you feel it in your clothes right away and there is no give at all. That part definitely sucks. The more I listen the more I listen to her points the more I relate to her talking points as a disabled not as a former fat woman.

[@venusmcintire3006]

13:40 is not true and a bad stereotype to give attention to! Any women or fem can get negative or unwanted attention from men and saying that “fat girls don’t get creeped on” is incredibly invalidating to a lot of ppl :/

[@osteophagus]

No one is disallowing fat people from having fast food. She's just worrying too much about rando's opinions. People judge those skinny girls for wearing sports bras out too, people are just judgy. Quit worrying about it and live your life. If you wanna get McDonald's while fat then do it, it's no one else's business.

[@lolalaise4530]

It’s not even the fast food, it’s the amount, I eat macdonalds at least twice a month cos I love it but I get a fries for lunch or a single burger for dinner… the fact that her order is so big it could be for 2 people is crazy

[@MrTjcomedy]

once upon a time! 564.4lbs LOST 364.4lbs 200lbs = living my best life! being fat is not better! Gained: 140lbs = Miserable!

[@Sarah-gz4no]

She sounds exhausting. Like if you were her friend, you'd constantly walk on eggshells around her terrified of accidentally offending her.

[@m00nbeams42]

service is spotty here where i live cause of the hurricane but i find bars to watch you john

[@FromTheAshes7]

I hope you & your loved ones stay safe through the hurricanes!!!

[@L4DY_CHUM]

I never thought I would be cat called then I went to New York City for a DJ event😂😂 I told them off but honestly felt kinda good, especially since it was my first big night out since I had my daughter. I’ve always been plus size and it just boosted my confidence a little bit 😅

[@L4DY_CHUM]

I definitely wouldn’t want it all the time but once in a while is nice 😂

[@ohmareshah]

I've always been a normal healthy weight, and I feel embarrassed carrying fast food into the house lol

[@seradeanmcforston]

I cannot imagine caring that much about what other people think. To have every minute of your day, your every move, put through the "but what would people think?!" filter must be absolutely exhausting. Even at my heaviest (nearly 300 pounds), I rarely gave any thought to what anyone else thought about how i looked.

[@DarinPirkey]

As someone who is 260, I think the biggest problem with all of this is that this person seems to care what others think. I know I'm fat. I know. But I don't care if you judge me. I don't think about other people that much and they DEFINITELY don't think about me. "Oh that's a big girl, she must be hiding her fat." No, we can see it behind your clothes. We aren't blind. I wear whatever makes me comfortable and what I feel like wearing. Never once has someone said anything. It's her putting things into her own mind.

[@ClownCourt]

When I was bigger, I never had anyone comment on my clothes either and I wore a lot of oversized casual wear (sweats, hoodies, shorts, etc.) I never even felt like I needed to be worried about being judged because most people are busy with their own life lol

[@rosey6550]

I thought Michelle’s whole thing was trying to lose weight. 0:28

[@sueorosz8886]

I am so confused by fat acceptance…people make their living from their size and then complain about their size.

[@vantaisback2660]

10:30 "If you see a guy that looks like gross, just GIVE HIM A CHANCE come on!!" are these people aware that even skinny people are scared and afraid or NOT? It's not fatphobia, it's called we have standards and we do what we want with our body. We are not supposed to be friendly with everyone, "OMG you're such a bully" uuh men get bullied for everything WAKE UP it's the real world!

[@evabeveridge9651]

15:18 😂 I’ve heard it’s called being family zoned.

[@FromTheAshes7]

I weirdly resonated a LOT with her video! I wasn't sure where she was gonna go, but she was nail on with so much. I'm a little different because I am a plus-sized, queer, masculine woman SO I thankfully don't get men's attention anymore, hahaha. The comment of not wanting to be perceived is soooo true. I don't mind it most days. I don't care nearly as much anymore about being prim and properly dressed in-public, but I definitely have had those experiences before when I used to be femme! Many fat women often are gorgeous and made-up, well-groomed, and you can tell they put a lot of effort into their outfits. I saw it as a confidence thing, but I didn't think about how they could struggle with being perceived as lazy if they wore loungewear. This could be a novel, since I have more to say, so I'll stop here, but I'm glad you reviewed this video!

[@CelestialSims333]

i used to watch her conspiracy theory videos years and years ago and liked her but now eeeesh. I don't understand the whole "as a fat....blah blah blah" because now after losing a substantial amount of weight I'm not sitting here saying or thinking "as skinny blah blah" it's just weird and amberlynn coded. its like they are jealous and envious of skinny people. same with the whole living in a bigger body thing. you arent just living in a bigger body. you cant take it off. you ARE the bigger body. you MADE the bigger body. take accountability and stop. and if she says being fat is unfortunate...which lets be real here, it is. its unfortunate that food has such a hold over people to the point where they get disorders and mental health/health problems solely because they overeat...change it then girl. start eating at a deficit, drink mostly water, get at least some activity 3 times a week, and be quiet while waiting for results. weird people I tell you. and when people deny their friend's fatness etc its because the actual fat people go crazy and make internet videos bashing them saying body positivity lmaooo

[@fitfatty211]

I feel like the whole, "fat people need to be all dressed up and made up, or they're judged; skinny people don't..." is more of a young person thing than a fat person thing. I'm a middle-aged woman, and most middle-aged women that I know - regardless of body size - don't really care about dressing up/getting made up anymore. For special occasions, yes, but not on a day-to-day basis. I don't know anyone who feels judged for it, either, and if we were, we probably wouldn't care. After 40 years-old (if not sooner), you realize what's important in life, and small-minded, judgmental people aren't important.

[@uevenmkbra8429]

I understand the whole “you’re not fat” argument. My gf is overweight and she will say stuff like that and I always go stop that. Because if she was 300 pounds I’d say “well I’m sorry you feel that way we can try to go to the gym or fix our diet”. But when people feel bad like that it’s all about the person. My partner lost 80 pounds in like a year. So when she says she’s “fat” now I tell her straight up no you’re not. If you have a problem with your weight you’re at we should improve our diet, exercise, etc.

[@tell-me-a-story-]

“I’m telling you what someone else’s motivations where. But it’s not up for discussion because I obviously know.” What??

[@Whitewing-jg3vh]

I think everyone looks lazy wearing sweats or yoga pants. It doesn't matter what size you are. I wouldn't be caught dead outside without a nice outfit on

[@robinplastic2935]

Weight doesn’t make a difference in getting attention of the other sex. When I was a teenager I was thin and fit and none of the boys liked me. I was just a. Play thing to make fun of. From what I gather it’s all about your attitude. Apparently I just didn’t have a desireable personality apparently. I’m in my 40’s and I’ve still never had a date. Guess I’m just not girlfriend material.

[@LaciNicole]

I don't get embarrassed by this as a woman. Unless I'm ordering like enough for 2-3 people, then I feel like I need to explain there are other people eating haha

[@andieJ97]

1:35 the ammount of anxiety I used to feel around people seeing me eat, or just having a takeout bag, was insane. I used to think about how I was being perceived as a fat woman all the time. -185lbs and the best part of it is I don't have any anxiety about eating in front of people anymore. I don't feel like I have to hide what I'm eating. 3:40 I'm a LAZY OUTFIT QUEEN. Always have been. When I was big people would see me as a slob, but now it's cute and comfy. I always felt like I had to wear makeup and cute clothes all the time. Now I'm hit on when I'm in my sweats. It's weird. Like, I knew if I didn't put in the extra effort when I was big, I'd be immediately assumed to be smelly and gross. 5:25 😂 yeah. I was always referring to myself as fat. Now that I'm "skinny" I still refer to myself 2+years ago as "fat" because I was 350lbs. It's a good descriptive word for what my body was at the time. I've never seen "fat" as a bad word, but now that I'm thin people get super offended when I talk about "when I was fat." Most of the time it's fat people who are mad 😅

[@Deebz9]

A 23 min obesetobeast video?! Christmas came early