The Most Disturbing Fat Activist | Sonalee Rashatwar

[@divingmonk]

"Yo momma so fat" "How fat?" "Momma so fat she couldn't get a shirt at fat-con"...

[@Aslan_Fulgore]

Brah…

[@fordshojoe8080]

Yo mama is so fat She made the fat con look like a Victoria secret runway

[@mariammontaser7843]

💀💀

[@evelynlopez6472]

🤣🤣🤣

[@AshleySpeaks4U]

😂😂😂 I used to make fun of myself to my son's friends. "Tres momma's so skinny, she turns sideways and disappears!" 😝

[@musicmaniac97ELA]

AN UNCONSCIOUS PERSON CANNOT GIVE CONSENT!!!! Consent BEFORE does not equate to consent DURING!! That is ridiculous to me

[@twothousandandchew]

shut up yo dad and i discussed how he gon shove his head up my - while i slee-

[@noktrix9451]

Yeah that happens then they say it’s why there fat. It’s insulting as fuck.

[@NoNameNumberTwo]

What about choking? Don’t people do that as a k*nk? If so, what makes that okay?

[@noktrix9451]

@@NoNameNumberTwo have it as one myself - but just if somethings a kind doesn’t mean it’s always ok.

[@kosaciecsyberyjski]

​@@NoNameNumberTwonormallu the choking isn't done to the point of passing out, but when it is the possibility is discussed beforehand- what's okay to do or not while the person is unconscious

[@kathleen.jane.x]

as a British person, I feel the need to reiterate "unconcious people don't want tea"

[@WildWinterberry]

It aggravates me that some people don't understand sex boundaries unless we remove the sex aspect and make it about tea

[@AshleySpeaks4U]

😂 Usually they do not, no!

[@AshleySpeaks4U]

​@@WildWinterberry😂😂😂

[@Hannah_The_Elon_Jew]

It is premeditated.

[@Hannah_The_Elon_Jew]

I hate nanny states@@WildWinterberry

[@kristin7762]

SA is not a kink. It’s a violent crime.

[@igray5311]

OMG I have to stop this here. Consent is conscious! You have to be conscious to GIVE consent and to REMOVE consent. There is no option where someone can consent to be drugged. Once you are no longer able to revoke that consent, consent is removed full stop. This is why we have minor laws and underage laws b/c you have to be able to fully give consent. Dear God this is the most insane bull sh*t I've ever heard in my life!

[@LifeAfterLosing]

She has major issues for sure.

[@irlcheyenne]

my thoughts exactly!! like do you really think the type of man who would pay a prostitute to “let him” drug her and play out a literal r*pe fantasy, would then respect her and her body while she is unconscious? 😐 if a rapist wants to rape somebody they will, there’s no consensual way about it

[@noktrix9451]

Badly in the Uk you can aparently consent at 16

[@fordshojoe8080]

​@@noktrix9451ew no gross. So does that mean it's legal for like a 50 yr old with a 16 yr old?

[@hayleeofthevalley]

@@fordshojoe8080 that’s actually legal in certain states depending on circumstances in the US too unfortunately

[@no-oneinparticular1256]

I hate when people suggest using financially desperate (sometimes even trafficked) women as solutions to this type of problem. I don’t think predatory people should be able to coerce others to be vulnerable for them for money.

[@stevanboi5980]

it’s important to know the difference between a survival sex worker and a trafficked person in the sex industry. the former is a sex worker with agency (and mostly because other jobs suck at paying their workers too), but the latter was forced into the industry, mainly through deception and/or by a person many people get into jobs they don’t like for survival and sex work (which is unfortunately criminalized, which makes it dangerous for the workers) is one of them. what sex workers have been asking for are full decriminalization and labor rights

[@stevanboi5980]

it is disgusting though that sonalee would think that bill cosby could’ve been okay with sex workers when sex workers wouldn’t wanna have that sack of crap as their client

[@elephantintheroom5678]

You absolutely hit the nail n the head there.

[@katamine11]

@@stevanboi5980it’s not as much of a difference as you think, they’re still being exploited. You think most of them actually want to be doing that? Maybe a small minority but for most it’s hell but they’re usually so low at that point they don’t see a way out. Most of those women are on drugs. There should be much more focus on helping people stuck in addiction and poverty, not just pretending like “survival prostitution” is “fine”. That’s just what people tell themselves to justify it all. It’s a disgusting business that shouldn’t exist, full stop. Have you considered that if it was harder to get into prostitute, many women would end up getting help for their substance abuse faster? Prostitution does NOT help women in such situations “survive”, it KEEPS them in those awful situations and eventually helps lead to their demise.

[@stevanboi5980]

@@katamine11 i'm not saying that survival sex workers have no problems and want to do their jobs. the problem here is that sex work is a highly criminalized job, which prevents them from actually getting the help they need and to leave the sex industry without stigma and fear of police. contrary to popular belief, sex workers are actually more in danger by cops than clients because cops always incarcerate them (and even r*** them) the most sex workers, even especially those in the margins such as survival sex workers, are advocating for themselves by fighting for full decriminalization, labor rights, and overall safety, especially from cops abusing their power. they're also fighting for proper reproductive care, contraceptives, and overall healthcare as well. through decriminalization, sex workers who want to leave the industry can and will also be helped to do so with confidentiality and without stigma. you cannot help survival sex workers if you don't advocate for full decriminalization. they go hand-in-hand with each other also, if you cannot distinguish the difference between a survival sex worker and a sex trafficking victim/survivor, you CANNOT and WILL NEVER be able to help either group because THEY BOTH HAVE DIFFERENT NEEDS. as a filipino who believes in the self-advocacy of sex workers, i'd like you to read this journal article by sharmila parmanand: www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/17496535.2022.2070234

[@annabear6313]

We know rape has nothing to do with sex and everything to do with power and control. They are acting as if rape is a fetish. As a survivor myself to hear someone even try and make that comparison is just disturbing at best.

[@ladydi-lynn]

💯

[@chs75]

Of course rape has to do with sex...it may not be the sole component, but sex is absolutely the driving force.

[@blahdose]

It def is a fetish, the non consensual s@x itself turns them on, it includes power dynamics but like not sure why people say this, like if someone is r@ping a woman to humiliating her and using her to hurt the men in her community, sure humiliation and power are key but like if they get off on it its a fetish.

[@este633]

⁠​⁠@@chs75if rape was as much an sex as u think then 3 in 5 rapists wouldn’t also be in consensual sexual relationships already. if it’s just ab sex then why do men rape women they don’t find attractive? if rape is ab sex then why r there cases where the man doesn’t actually penetrate the woman himself, and use objects to penetrate her? if a man rapes a woman bc he wants to have sex it’s still not much ab sex. he believes he’s entitled to sex, he deserves it, he has the power to rape her, so he will. rape at it’s core is an assertion of power. rape itself has an inherit power dynamic. if rape wasn’t ab power, or control then rape threats wouldn’t exist. ur belief that “sex is absolutely the driving force” is not psychologically supported at all. rape is ab power, control, and entitlement. if sex is a part of it, it’s nowhere near a “driving force” of it.

[@teijaflink2226]

If it was consenting drug and rape play it would not be interesting to them, what sick person would want to do that too and anyway that would not be consent if the person is unconscious. Absolutely shocking that a sex therapist has these views and who doesn't know that you should be able to take your consent away any moment, which you wouldnt be able to if you're unconscious. I don't understand either how you would be able to do something like this safely at home, what if something happens, like it's too much drugs and the person can't breath? Should be fired and specially for promoting illegal and dangerous life style.

[@lovenature7823]

How would the unconscious person give a safe word if they're unconscious?! Her kink knowledge and/or practice is dangerous.AND, why not give her "apology" on screen?! Her apology is BS.

[@michellebernal5668]

Yes to give full consent you have to be conscious. That means at ANY time I can change my mind, say no or stop even during the act, an unconscious person can’t do that therefore it’s not full consent.

[@beeboi0097]

Because they are conscious when it's happening, they pretend like that person is unconscious.

[@linziesantana4748]

Exactly. Consent can be revoked at ANY time. But if a person is unconscious, they can’t give it or take it away.

[@sbg1911]

If your kink is illegal you're fkn gross, not kinky. Can we just stop being insane for 5 minutes? My God 🙏

[@fordshojoe8080]

I think we should start shaming people for certain things again. Society as a whole was better for it. These people listen to her but at the same time call all men rapists and say that every man on this earth has raped someone at least once. Then they would also probably say that men can't get raped because they get hard during it (yes I've actually fucking heard that) oh and that, that includes penetration. So just to clear the air here white people can't be victims of racism and men can't be victims of rape and domestic violence. So if you're a white man congrats nothing bad can ever happen to you because it's seen as an ok thing to do. Even though Sonalee is with a white skinny dude but nit dating a fat person is fatphobic and you can look at all the main fat activists they are all with skinny mainly white men that they claim to hate so much.

[@fordshojoe8080]

Oh I forgot fat men don't get to be in the bopo movement only women. (Even though it wasn't for fucking fat people in the first place) So I can't be a victim of rape, racism and me being fat doesn't matter to them. But they want us to care and respect them.

[@fordshojoe8080]

What exactly in that 2nd comment was deemed offensive? I really got that warning on it.

[@fatoumfatoumeh]

I agree that it’s gross, and I don’t think people should be so open and public with their ‘kinks’ regardless if it’s legal.

[@mayday9718]

I'm stealing "Can we just stop being insane for 5 minutes?" That is the best thing I've read in a long time 😂

[@thepragmaticwitch2608]

As a Philly person I don’t claim them, and I’m not thin by any means. As a survivor of sexual abuse as a child I found it deranged that they equated putting kids on diets (which is not a black and white issue and I do think there is a lot of toxic shit in diet culture) to SA like? Unhinged honesty

[@expensivepink7]

It’s so disturbing and disheartening 😖 I’m so sorry I understand as a survivor too (not CSA but SA)

[@XxAzrael]

It's delusional to compare dieting to the worst shit someone can experince, and let me tell you what those scars cannot heal after that whole ordeal. These people are disgusting, they should be ashamed of themselves for comparing SA to diet culture.

[@noktrix9451]

Being overweight is also an issue that shouldn’t be excused - being underweight is like as bad as Obease. Regards - someone who was underweight then overweight etc

[@noktrix9451]

@@XxAzrael so you’ll invalidate someone’s experience?

[@LOISWI]

as someone who has experienced CSA and forced dieting as a child by their caregiver, i get where the comparison comes from tbh. ofc everyones experience is different and i speak only from personal experience, but the way someone else controls your body, forces you to do things you have no control over, the pain and restriction that comes from both… i really do understand where the similarities come from. but i dont think anyone who hasnt experienced both should be commenting on their comparability, it’s disrespectful imo

[@erilyn262]

As a survivor of abuse, what she said makes me sick. If you cant say no at any point, it goes beyond CNC or anything of that nature. She needs a new job. Nothing she said is healthy in any way. R is not about sex in any way. It is about control and power and nothing else. Even her "apology" is beyond BS.

[@tiffanyh1274]

And violence. This woman needs to be shut down. How is she the host or an expert on anything? You cannot get something so wrong and then just get a pass. I’m sorry that happened to you.

[@expensivepink7]

Agree. I’m so disturbed I don’t even have the words other than I genuinely think she needs to be exiled

[@expensivepink7]

@@tiffanyh1274agree. It is not ok. She is encouraging sexual violence.

[@alexxander966]

I dont like what they said either, but friendly reminder they use they/he pronouns

[@meepmoopmeep1]

@@alexxander966literally who cares

[@karmenfoote2096]

I think she should be stripped of her license for that comment if she has one

[@LifeAfterLosing]

Oh man, let's hope she is not licensed in anything related to healthcare!

[@Chuckakhan]

I don’t think she does, she may be trained but not license

[@sifisonjabula3643]

@@LifeAfterLosingvery shockingly she is a licensed and qualified social worker.

[@sifisonjabula3643]

very shockingly she is a licensed and qualified social worker.

[@Chuckakhan]

@@sifisonjabula3643 well that’s not cricket

[@scottyb8392]

I used to follow them and I unfollowed a while ago, I probably saw something about how “weight loss is genocide” or “weight loss is fatphobic” because I was beginning to successfully lose weight myself and I couldn’t reckon with the fact that some people legitimately think that

[@LifeAfterLosing]

People always hate on others who are doing what they won’t do. Just keep doing what you are doing and know that many more support you.

[@scottyb8392]

@@LifeAfterLosing thanks :) that means a lot

[@fordshojoe8080]

​@@scottyb8392yupp like the other person said fuck em. They aren't you and in your body. They don't want to be told it's unhealthy to be fat but damn sure will shame people especially women for losing weight. I recommend watching the cynical dude he's funny and talks a lot about these people. Keeps me motivated to keep trying to lose weight.

[@fordshojoe8080]

​@@scottyb8392oh and good luck through your journey I'm right there beside you. Also they don't really care about men especially that sonalee woman she's incredibly sexist saying men have no place in the bopo movement. The book movement is the only one I've seen that doesn't really do a lot of moving hahaha

[@magdabielecka8374]

It's also disturbing how casual she is about drugging someone to the point on uncounciousness. It's dangerous even if anesthesiologist does it in a hospital setting. Random people doing it to sex workers using god knows what substances is a horrible idea.

[@rissahere]

I literally had to listen to the cosby clip like 3 times because my brain couldnt comprehend that she actually thinks that.

[@LifeAfterLosing]

I couldn’t believe my ears. The mental gymnastics required for her to come up with that.

[@deltasaves]

If she really knew anything, she'd know that has everything to do with power and not one thing about attraction.

[@EnloTheRover]

She's talking about CNC. Which is wild to even bring up when talking about Cosby. Actually sick.

[@kelseyf2619]

Right, it made no sense??

[@Sageddegas]

As a sex therapist cnc shouldn’t even be discussed outside of it being fantasies that require deeper therapy and shouldn’t be facilitated

[@LifeAfterLosing]

It sounds like something people come up with when they are high and thinking out loud. Then forget about it 5 minutes later.

[@expensivepink7]

CNC stems from trauma and usually involves the survivor wanting to replay their trauma to regain a sense of control over their experience. Anyone who agrees to that request is a PREDATOR. period.

[@expensivepink7]

@@Sageddegasas a survivor THANK YOU

[@andreamunoz6088]

I need Sonalee to look at a victim in the eye and repeat that. You CANNOT consent if you’re unconscious!

[@LifeAfterLosing]

As if she would have that much self reflection! They live in an alternate reality.

[@JohnNathanShopper]

This

[@michellebernal5668]

Yes to give full consent you have to be conscious. That means at ANY time I can change my mind, say no or stop even during the act, an unconscious person can’t do that therefore it’s not full consent.

[@amandawilkinsontarot7096]

WTAF?? I was drugged and SA'ed by a "friend". I was out of it fot about 2 days. I still have flashbacks years later. It really meses you up. Obviously, she has no idea about the KINK or the BDSM lifestyle. You cannot take drugs or alcohol to play. You need to be able to use your safe word and take away your consent at any time. SA of an unconscious person can result in death.

[@AW-uv3cb]

Glad we all agree on Sonalee's offensively shocking lack of awareness, so I'll just say: what a nice soothing background you have for this video!

[@expensivepink7]

LOLLL I love his background too 😅

[@mistyblue9610]

I cut processed foods and most diary (not for weightloss) and I’ve never felt better. No more wild weight fluctuations, no stomach issues, and my mind feel clearer.

[@Andrew_O]

There is no such thing as "consensual non-consent" because the moment the other person is "out" they lose the ability of consenting to whatever is going to happen to them. If the person says "I just want you unconscious" and they say "I'm planning on doing XYZ" you have NO WAY to guarantee that they honour that. it is INSANE. There is no way to consider that safe. PERIOD. SR should lose whatever license they have, be disbarred, and banned from ever practicing again. For some things THERE IS NO SAFE WAY. Get. Off. My. PLANET!

[@jjj4n4]

CNC can be done safely just as a form of role play. Like, saying "no" means "yes" and saying a safeword means "no". But I'm iffy about that as well because I feel like it blurs the lines of consent, and it makes me think why the person in the "assaulter" role is even aroused by that. But the thing with unconsciousness is ABSOLUTELY NOT OK, just like John said, the most basic thing, and I can't believe anyone in 2023 would even think that is ok, much less a "sex therapist".

[@Andrew_O]

@@jjj4n4 That verbal role-play with safe-words is as close as I can imagine as that safe-word is consent and unless you are maliciously prevented from being able to utter it. Odds are the person pushing things that far knows what they're doing and doesn't care and we're right back into SA territory.

[@jjj4n4]

@@Andrew_O agreed.

[@Dr3Mc3Ninja]

Thank you. I see people meaning CNC as if it is remotely in the same realm as what r4p3 is. If you're roleplaying, then you are consenting. Visually simulating what you think r4p3 is, because it turns you on, isn't what r4p3 is. Rough s3x is not r4p3. Playing coy because you don't want to appear like a slut who is gagging for it, is not what r4p3 is. You cannot roleplay r4p3. To be r4p3d is to be intimately violated against your will. Playing dead is not the same as being dead. Cosby didn't want to pretend r4p3 someone. He wanted to indulge an extreme s3xu4l fantasy. A p43d0 humping a lifeless doll that resembles a human child, does not stop them from harming real children. Simulating the act is rewarding the paraphillic urges, which makes them more keen to advance to the real thing. It's like an addict needing a bigger dose for the same high. R4pi$ts do not start with r4p3. There is always a progression in severity of s3x crimes. Russell Williams (Canadian) is a famous example of how a perverted mind develops a more voracious and extreme appetite for s3xu4l stimuli.

[@fordshojoe8080]

​@@jjj4n4I do agree with what you said. But my wife likes it when I "wake" her up from sleep to do stuff. What do you think about that situation? I guess it is different because she's not passed out and she can say no which she has before so I guess it's more of an rp type thing or a tamer kink.

[@profsalam524]

My sister has the same degree and license to practice as them. She doesn’t spend a lot of time on social media or keep up with this kind of thing and when I showed her the videos, she was appalled, including by the “courses” and treatments they describe on their website and wondered how they manage to keep their license. And don’t get me started on how the South Asian population is at significantly higher risk for metabolic syndrome and early death-even at “mid-size.”

[@fordshojoe8080]

Ssssshhhhhh that's fatphobic and skinny people get diseases too. It's uh just more rare and not basically self inflicted.

[@precious_toebeans]

FatCon sounds like...one heck of an experience. As a consistent convention goer with crowds above 30k, i cannot imagine that many coming and crowding the elevators to the point of danger to everyone involved. Anime conventions alone have a large large-person population where it gets difficult to be disabled/handicapped. (I am disabled and make use of the disabled routes as well)

[@expensivepink7]

That’s such a scary thought!

[@precious_toebeans]

@@expensivepink7 isn't it???? Otakon 2022 was terrifying, 2023 had it under control, but everything is 200% more difficult when you are disabled at a convention

[@jamiemelquist8733]

I recall her making a statement that putting a child on a diet is child abuse. This tops that ignorant statement

[@LOISWI]

I don’t agree with a lot of what she said, but this can absolutely be true. Of course it depends, but as someone who was forced to diet as a child even tho i was at a healthy weight, it completely destroyed my formerly healthy relationship with food, disconnected me from my body, and has created issues of disordered eating that persist a decade later. It can absolutely be child abuse.

[@fordshojoe8080]

​@@LOISWIok sure but I don't think she was talking about that. She was talking about these kids that ate like 250lbs at 11. She also has a video talking about how a person asking for a smaller slice of cake is problematic and fat phobic even though it would have nothing to do with her at all. She's insane you should watch her videos some time she's extremely racist and sexist against white people and men.

[@Kimmie9553]

@@LOISWIthe difference is between saying “diets ARE child abuse” and “diets CAN BE child abuse”. Sonalee’s stance is the former - any calorie deficit in children, or any dietary restrictions whatsoever - are child abuse always. That’s absolutely absurd! But yes, of course there are shitty parents that will restrict a kid’s diet for any number of reasons that are a form of abuse. However, putting a morbidly obese child on a mild calorie deficit, putting a kid with seizures on a keto diet, or forcing a kid to eaten gluten free because they have Celiac’s disease under the guidance of a doctor is absolutely the opposite of child abuse.

[@ladyviking]

I'm also from Philly - AND a former SW - and I wouldn't go NEAR this person. They are just toxic. In so many ways, just toxic.

[@ohcontraire1915]

WOW. R-word is absolutely NOT born of "sex-negativity" - it's about power and control, not sex. And no, drugging a sex worker, even with their prior knowledge, does NOT constitute consent and I suspect that even the most extreme CNC-players would take issue with this, especially in this context. You CANNOT consent if you aren't conscious and whilst you could theoretically consent to being drugged, there's no way to remove or take back consent after that so... Just, NO. That is putting SWs in even more danger. In her proposed "solution", is the SW just giving blanket consent for whatever the client wants to do to them whilst they're unconscious? Hell no. So then if the intended acts are being discussed beforehand, how do you control what ACTUALLY happens to you when you're unconscious? What happens when the "client" decides to do something else, goes a step further, invites someone else over, tries something out...? Sonalee's proposed "solution" is not a consensual arrangement, it's volunteering to be R-worded and worse. The only people I can see even thinking about agreeing to something like that are the extremely desperate, so again, that's not consent as much as it is coercion. The more I think about it the more horrifying and problematic it is, I can't believe she thought that was a reasonable thing to say, does she not think before she speaks?! I'm glad she agreed that she was wrong, but it still defies belief that she went on tv and SAID THAT OUT LOUD. It's almost like she just wanted to say something shocking for the attention... Urgh.

[@ladydi-lynn]

Absolutely, SW are already exploited enough!

[@jackchop1576]

She makes Virgie Tovar look well adjusted and mentally stable.

[@SAKtownAli]

I am a nurse and a health coach. The only way I can look at their IG is through your channel b/c I get too furious when I look on my own. I appreciate how you break it down to their need for attention. Thanks.

[@okaokadu]

The theme of this video was so crazy I need to comment on something else entirely otherwise I'll go crazy bananas, so... The rug on the background is stunning

[@scottyb8392]

I consider myself very sex positive as someone in the art community who’s got many sex worker mutuals whose safety I would never ever want to see jeopardized… clearly Sonalee doesn’t know enough sex workers because if I heard one of my friends say they were going to allow themselves to be roofied during a meeting with their clients… oh my god, I’d call the cops??? Or at least try to stop them, jfc

[@stevanboi5980]

cops are like, the biggest enemies of sex workers, unfortunately. it sucks that their job is always criminalized in any way, shape, or form (criminalization of worker, the client, third party, etc, which are all bad) when they really need full decriminalization, unions, labor rights, and the destigmatization of their workplace statements like sonalee's words are reasons why sex workers cannot be taken seriously and are always seen as "perpetual victims with no voices and agency" when sex workers can advocate for themselves, which is more than what the average person thinks

[@tiffanyh1274]

That’s right. The whole point of the “kink” is that the person isn’t consenting. I can’t with these people. Just like rape isn’t about sex, it’s about control and violence. This “kink” just sent Danny masterson to jail for 30 years btw. This is absurd. How are these people called experts?

[@scottyb8392]

@@tiffanyh1274 exactly! im sure there’s sex workers that follow them but idk how they still be called a sex therapist after a comment like that ,,,

[@tiffanyh1274]

@@scottyb8392 I know. I think this is what happens when you’re trying too hard to be too inclusive and too liberal. Not “liberal” politically. What I mean is that there has to be a line. Rape is not allowed and rapists will not be included. Not everything goes. And not for nothing but I cannot stand that this person is claiming lgbtq, because man, this is not OK in any community. Most definitely not the lgbtq community.

[@shimmershine6902]

Yeah, the sex positive thing would be to get people that consensually pretend to be knocked unconscious… if the kink/fetish is that serious, just roleplay or some shit

[@CorntwallLipstickQueen]

Sonalee is VILE. Their license needs to be taken away. We need to report her comment to the licensing board

[@Magikalic]

The closeted thing to this is CNC (consentual non-consentual) which is effectively SA roleplay. However, when practiced properly with a trusted partner, there is still always a safe word and consent can be revoked at anytime. Once the safe word/safe signal is given the scene ends, no questions asked. Unconscious people cannot revoke consent, therefore they cannot give it in the first place, making it actually SA. To call that person a therapist is an insult.

[@appleheiress]

Their Bill Cosby take is officially the wildest thing I’ve heard in 2023.

[@Eleese__]

My jaw dropped

[@incelsmad]

idk, I saw someone say that it was the kids fault for grooming EDP445

[@GhostsRustyKnee]

I'm so glad you're talking about this post. It raised my blood pressure just just looking at it lol.

[@LifeAfterLosing]

Same! I saw it somewhere else this morning and was repulsed.

[@findthatwhimsy]

I still can’t believe what I just heard. Do they need to view that Tea and Consent video? Unconcious people can’t consent fullstop.

[@goodsofearth]

"We're going to be talking about a convention, that was brought to my attention" Okay John dropping the bars 🎤🔥

[@lovebballgirl12]

Haha noticed this too!

[@moxievintage1390]

Me three! ✌🏽

[@cozycasasmr4510]

b-b-b-bars

[@moxievintage1390]

However lol, the “rhymes with bape” was weak! Grape, Vape, Tape, Drape…. all fine choices for the R word 🫣

[@JauntyCrepe]

“Hatred of processed food is a vehicle for fat hate” ok maybe in some cases. HOWEVER I have an inflammation disorder. Processed food hates *me* and many other people like me!!

[@erin7634]

Entertaining their opinion for one second… do they not realize that one of the key points to consent is that you can revoke it at any time? So if you’re unconscious you’re unable to do that. Someone fire them. They’ve shown they are incapable of giving SAFE advice.

[@fitfatty211]

This has nothing to do with fat activism; it’s just vile. I’m literally disgusted with what was shown here.

[@LifeAfterLosing]

Not sure why she even has a platform. It’s sick

[@ximar0ckstrx]

Consent comes with the ability to revoke consent at any time. Sonalee is a MAJOR issue. He, she, they, it, what (idgaf) needs to educate themselves. Drugging someone to have intercourse is r*p*! Sonalee has also told people to watch porn with obese people if they dont find them attractive

[@camscott696]

As someone who wears a M/L and considers herself to be an average weight, I'm THRILLED that they don't sell Larges at Fatcon 😂😂

[@JohnNathanShopper]

From the dictionary of things that have caused me to lose brain cells: Sonalee

[@LifeAfterLosing]

100%!

[@zoegertrude1]

I can’t even think why they’d say this. It’s not appropriate, it doesn’t relate to the conversation in any way and it’s disgusting. Consent is the most important thing, without consent it’s SA! Why would anyone think of ways for women to be raped in order to satisfy a depraved person’s desires? It’s a really concerning look into the way their mind works

[@kateri35]

That is literally the most insane thing Ive ever heard. Just wow.

[@mothercat6083]

Dear lord, what one earth would compel someone to not only have those thoughts but say them out loud. So many large women are victims of sexual assault and aren’t believed or too scared they won’t be believed to come forward. I can’t imagine the mental gymnastics you have to do to say soemthing that’s inherently harmful like drugging and r wording someone EVEN WITH CONSENT is totally okay and something a society should support. There’s no safe way to drug and r word someone just like there’s not really a safe way to be infinifat. Self harm or harm done to others should never just be accepted by society

[@LifeAfterLosing]

They aren't living in our same reality.

[@kelseyf2619]

This kind of fat activism makes me so sad, as a fat person who has developed type 2 diabetes at age 27 from my weight. The complete denial of health and wellness. And here’s the thing, if you want to be fat and not lose weight for your health, it’s your life and you can do what you want. There’s no morality attached to health or weight. You aren’t a bad person for being fat and/or unhealthy. But there is a real health consequence for MOST people that are fat. Sure, when you are 25 and 400lbs and haven’t developed diabetes or high blood pressure YET you may feel you are healthy. But wait til you hit 35. Or 50. If you even make it that far. Wanting to lose weight for your health is NOT fatphobic and it is not an attack on fat people. I’m not even going to get into their thought on absolving rapists of their crime because society isn’t sex positive, that is just insane.

[@LifeAfterLosing]

They live in a different reality. It is mind-boggling to say the least. I agree with you as well. You are not a bad person for being overweight, not at all. The only issue I have is when you talk about it as if it is something to aspire to. Too many people are listening to it and are too weak-minded to see what they are saying is garbage.

[@braetonwilson4296]

I'm an obese man who developed type 2 diabetes at the age of 25 so I can relate to you Kelsey and I agree with you. I remember earlier this year, Obese2Beast made a video on a young lady who died in her late twenties from obesity and diabetes. Losing weight for health is a good thing and should be celebrated!

[@LifeAfterLosing]

@@braetonwilson4296yes! And thank you for saying it!

[@thebat893]

Yes, this!! There are health issues that are not mentioned. Tess Holliday still insists type 2 diabetes is only based on genetics when weight and medication are the other two risk factors. We shouldn't be shamed for it because there are many reasons we end up where we are. Mine include medication, mental illness and disordered eating. But I want to do better for my future. My body feels way worse then it use to when I eat junk so I am trying to be kind to it .

[@DieselGlori]

She is so illegitimate Like in every way It honestly helps me with any perfectionistic thinking or imposter syndrome- basically, if someone like them is out here key note speaking and raking in major cash monies then surely I can and should speak using my professional voice

[@SamRabbitx]

This is the most "silver lining" thing I've read in a minute lmaooo "If this pos is out here being heinous on main, I can do anything!" I love it.

[@expensivepink7]

I can tell you right now you are already more qualified than Sonalee!

[@expensivepink7]

@@SamRabbitxheinous on main I’m laughing

[@DieselGlori]

@@SamRabbitx nailed it lol 🤣👏🏾

[@melchiorlise2466]

As a biology student who attend nutrition classes, the term "hate" is the least revelant term when talking about precessed foods. We are trained to become scientists who will be able to respond to society's health challenges. We have no business letting personal feelings get in the way of our goal, which is expanding people's lives. Processed foods are harmful to the human body, it's a neutral fact, and it's a truth that needs to be acknowledged. Equating this to hate makes me wonder what exactly they would like. Would like they us to "edit" science so it doesn't contradict their beliefs ?

[@marcielynn4886]

FatCon, where nobody is over 40.

[@jonathandorn1691]

There is no way of drugging someone to the point of unconsciousness without endangering there live, anesthesia has always risks attached to it even in a controlled clinical setting.

[@maqanyllo]

Your reaction to that clip about being drugged was the same as mine 😮

[@evastern231]

The BDSM community diagrees fullheartetly, it's disgusting to put us into the same category as dangerous violent criminals! Kink and fetish is all about consent, way more than within most of the so called normal people, from my experience at least.... It's essential to be conscious to be able to use the safeword when the "victim"- part want's to stopp a very rough kinky r-word game, since sometimes people change their mind in the middle of something, you know?! Because in case you didn't know: There is a difference between a game and a horrible crime like!

[@epicstare99]

So, long story short, I'm in residential treatment for ED and they're a HAES clinic, which I really disagree with and they have a list of "body positive" influencers on the wall of our group room that include Virgie Tovar, FatSexTherapist and others like that. It fucking disgusts me, these people are NOT body postive whatsoever.

[@MsSharkDemon]

Yeah, I'm getting more and more convinced they either faked or blackmailed their way to getting a sex therapy license. Assuming it's real to start with.

[@AlanahEllsworth]

I hope they don’t have a large Canadian audience. Sex with an unconscious person is a crime in Canada, regardless of whether they consented while conscious.

[@Sageddegas]

She said WHAT

[@PlanningLifewithTina]

I’m literally terrified for my grandchildren to have to grow up in today’s world! The delusion in today’s society spreads more rampant than the “vid!”

[@herefortheshrimp1469]

Take comfort that this is a pretty fringe person, even for FAs. The VAST majority of people know everything she says is trash and someone will always push back until this is even rarer to hear

[@LifeAfterLosing]

It’s so true! They are taking over internet platforms with this complete garbage.

[@mjakk4290]

It’s disappointing that she can be a key note speaker at events.

[@_Ryebread]

my exact reaction to the "fetish" drugged thing was exactly "huh" "what" just like you LOL

[@rosed7897]

After having a very clean diet for the couple of months I went off track for a few days and have been eating my emotions. Now I just feel sickly and bloated from binging on all that processed junk and I definitely dont feel better. And its 2.00 at night and I feel the discomfort from all that food I just ate. 5:06 Yes, I definitely feel better when Im restricting.

[@expensivepink7]

“Hatred of processed food is a vehicle for fat hate” im so confused I think these people want to be encouraged to eat themselves to the grave?? Are they unironically requesting that?

[@the_homun_system]

they think hating the fact companies use plastic polymers as a preservatives means "i think fat people are evil and are putting the plastic in my food" i guess.

[@walkingtothewell]

This is insane. I hope that Philly Fat Con takes them off the speakers list. Maybe they are not aware of how absolutely insane this person is. But also- a con specifically for being fat? I am fat. I would never...

[@Naistov]

As a black woman, I am indeed happy to restrict myself from overly process foods. It is literal poison and helped poison the health of many in my community and outside. If that makes me fat phobic, then so be it. Keep eating that stuff is excess and enjoy a heighten chance of a miserable and shorter life🤷🏽‍♀️

[@RyuzaChuden]

This sex positive world they talk about still requires women to be sexually exploited and used as objects. If they’re paid then is it a crime?

[@acdc.rocks88]

Sex therapist? Yeah right, more like completely deranged.

[@representchrist876]

Is consensual non consent a thing? Yes. Are there ways to practice it safely? Yes! But what the hell she just suggested is not it and should not be done. The fact that she is a sex therapist and suggested that scares me! - someone who is in the kink community.

[@carolinefrye2257]

Unfortunately the comment made doesn’t surprise me and I actually think Sonalee believes it. With our society going the way it’s going, that point of view may be accepted in the next few years.

[@ninajimenez2286]

I agree, pedophiles are calling themselves “MAP” minor attracted person! And trying to pass it as a “sexual preference”

[@Mrsjengood11]

Is it wrong that I want to rent a trailer, fill it full of mobility scooters and pull up outside of Fatcon?? Is something wrong with me?? If you’ve ever been to a huge convention center you’d understand that this could be a money maker 🤷🏽‍♀️

[@Adeltraut]

Wow, it doesn't even fit in their mind that someone would not have cravings for junk food in the first place. They make it seem like the status quo that u would "give in" and eat yourself to death.

[@virginiadare1587]

I'm solidly in the overweight category as a 5'9 woman, but wear a unisex Medium. This is why I would only go to fandom conventions. ;)

[@brittanytorres6882]

I’m irritated that just as this video got crazy, just when John and I both went “huh” at the same time and the video cut to commercial 😂😂😂

[@TheAdrift]

“Hatred of processed food is a vehicle for fat hate” joke’s on u boi-even before you read the comments, I considered my hatred of processed food a vehicle for anti-capitalism! Ever hear of “shrinkflation”? It’s the reason your bags of chips are 3/4 air and your cookies keep getting smaller-they charge you the same price (OR MORE!) for the same/similar packaging, but put less stuff in it. Can’t do shrinkflation on produce, can ya??? You just gotta raise the prices on that shit, and then we can call it out! Also, you can process your own food and scratch that itch naturally. My natural remedy for sugar cravings is cooked fruit-it’s more filling and it’s damn good, and I have yet to encounter a time when cooked plums or nectarines didn’t satisfy my sugar craving. Life hack 😉

[@stevanboi5980]

clarification: it’s ultra-processed food because moderately processed food still got nutritional value. canned beans, canned meats, and frozen meats are still processed, but fresh and on the moderate part

[@jjj4n4]

They really made a fatcon. This feels like that family guy episode. I don't want to live on this planet anymore.

[@moriahbh951]

I literally had to pause the video because I was so extremely shocked at a certain part. Wow. Wow. Wow. 😮 I am a fairly cynical person and understand that so many people can be seriously delusional, but this one caught me off guard in a big way. Jeez.

[@worthmorethanmyjourney]

I love how if you are an XS through L you have to special request your t-shirt size ... anyhow these people are filled will hate and rage... stay FAR away.

[@theethinethou]

FAR away is too close.

[@bethanymiller8406]

That Instagram post is what made me unfollow this person. I’m diabetic, of course I feel better not eating processed food. I’m still fat and like salad!!

[@og666]

a lotta chasers are gonna be popping up in philly

[@LifeAfterLosing]

Bahahaha!!!!

[@PuffKitty]

🤭

[@bell5497]

The way my eyes popped out of my head when she said that... I can't believe that didn't get more attention than it did....

[@brookew2403]

If your kink involves removing someone’s consent, you need to be shamed! And for the love of God almighty! Stop using black people in your non apologies 🤦🏾‍♀️

[@Cat_Woods]

Your point about not having the shirt size for the fattest people made me curious: what is the fattest one can get before it becomes necessarily fatal? What percent body fat? What number XL? There must be a physical limit, right?

[@cztianaki2689]

I saw someone who wore an xxxxxxxxl in the hospital once.

[@Cat_Woods]

@@cztianaki2689 That's 8X's, right? What's the heaviest you've heard of someone? I think I recall hearing that a person was 1000 lbs, or almost that.

[@coquinarestrepo7769]

At 8:40 I paused. Stopped. Mentally screamed. Then shouted “JUST NO”. Wooooooooow..... that is.... wow. No.

[@JaylaStarr]

I’m as positive as positive can be… I used to do porn… but come on 😂 this is crazy. I get where she was going but she went waaaay over

[@JaylaStarr]

I meant I get where she was going as far as kinks and shame but obviously I don’t agree with anything she said about anything else at all

[@evandegenfelder4554]

Okay, THIS is ridiculous. From the moment you start reading all her crap, well, it's pretty damn infuriating. You know what this is? The fat positivity thing? It's an excuse. It's an excuse so these people don't have to give up their crutch of eating (which is exactly what it is). It's too "hard" to give up food as a drug. UGH.

[@KaylaShaye]

Thank you for so much for addressing this John!

[@pinkdiamonds9137]

She really doesn’t get it, people who drug and SA people are aroused by the fact that the victims are unwilling participants who they are controlling/using.

[@tazeschwifty4363]

Honestly irritating that we cant say the word rape it has to be the r word....like really were all adults and even kids should hear this word because everyone and anyone can be raped same with unalive yourself 😅 why are we trying to make harsh topics lighter? They are heavy because they are traumatic

[@hedaheda1609]

After all, it is also a legal term that defines a very specific and violent crime. If the term is not used, the concept blurs and the boundaries of what is allowed and what is not allowed disappear.

[@MutantMessiah]

😂😂😂😂😂 "That'd be like having a weightloss channel saying CICO doesn't work"

[@MiciousDawn]

Ohhhhhhhhhhhh kaaaaaaaaaay. I’m a counselor and it seems to me this is all I need to petition for the removal of her license.

[@hayleabrianne]

Hatred of processed food is a vehicle for fat hate made me audibly laugh. Just because you're fat doesn't mean you're poor. Just because you're poor doesn't mean you're fat. Of course, there are exceptions, and some folks DO lack access to healthier foods, but the vast majority of fat people are fat because of the foods THEY choose combined with a sedentary lifestyle. They reach SOOOOO HARD and work so hard to generalize. It's infuriating.

[@christinepoppy3277]

Why does she think that Bill Cosby preferred having sex with someone unconscious? So they can’t fight back maybe….? It’s not a little kink that he just had to act upon. Its him choosing to purposely hurt other people. I am sex positive, but I’m tired of people insisting that every little “kink” is okay so long as it’s “consensual”. There are just some sexual acts that can never be okay or be consented to and some people are genuinely just bad people.

[@MSoph-op5ls]

The Cosby comment...😂😂 WTHeck LOL

[@Trashloot]

4:40 Can someone please tell them that processed food doesn't automatically make you fat if you don't over eat ? Count or Guess your calories and you are mostly fine no matter what you eat. This is obviously an over generalization but you can only get bigger if you take in more calories than you can burn. Food with a low calory density is obviously better if you want to feel full without over eating tho.

[@justwonder1404]

08:31 - yeah, and for serial killers we can line up suicidal people so that everyone can get what they want. That person is in some special kind of delusion.

[@The_real_JulieKelsea]

An avocado was .78 and apple was .44 cents! I usually shop at Winco or Aldi. Processed foods are TERRIBLE! Stop eating them! And delete door dash! Remember that people are proud that the don’t cook! I was cooking at 10! No excuses! My protein powder is $2 per serving. Where else can you have anything for $2 a serving? Again, excuses

[@Sivaxo]

only going to 5x when infinifat is 6x is wild LMAO

[@Theholyplunge]

My wife and I ended up moving to a whole new state, everything was going super well until I got hurt on the job. We were so broke we couldn’t afford groceries, we were living off of the McDonald’s and Taco Bell app 😅 (way cheaper than groceries) I felt so sick to my stomach but we had no choice. I gained 50+bs since that’s all we could afford, thank GOD we are at a way better spot than we were then. We don’t “restrict” our diet because garbage food makes us feel like garbage. I can’t even finish a can of soda anymore because my body wants water instead. I only gained a little over 50lbs I can’t imagine what it’s like being any bigger than that. My joints would hurt, I’d feel so groggy, I was so slow and weak. I’d have to catch my breathe going up stairs 😂, thankfully I’ve been able to lose is and then some. No longer gassed just from squatting down and getting back up 👍🏼

[@mikecantstopwontstop8870]

Maybe this wrong but how about not giving attention to people who have such insane ideas. I understand the desire to combat ideas but this is just so ridiculous.

[@LifeAfterLosing]

I used to feel that way too, but people like this have taken over platforms like TikTok and I’m glad there are people that speak out against it.

[@maryhamric]

WHHHAAAAAAAAAAATTTTT? So they say one thing and then say the opposite...and they are a "sex therapist?" WHAT??? It wasn't like they worded it in an awkward way....they said what they said and then took it back.

[@botanicalbecca8443]

"When Keeping it Real Goes Wrong is a classic." 😅 Great memories from my youth. Love that some people pushed back on the processed food stuff. Its not only made by extremely corrupt exploitive corporations who make billions of dollars a year makint these highly addictive foods, but the products often contain additives, colorings and flavorings banned in other countries. Not to mention the contracts these companies make with our schools so that kids get addicted from a very young age. Pure delusion, thinking a hatred of processed food equates to fatphobia. BS! Thanks for calling this person out. What utter insanity. I worry for my children's future seeing this type of thinking.

[@Sheepy007]

What I find funny, that Sonalee describes herself as a Sex therapist, but I really do not believe that she is actually "good at sex". That she can not provide the physicality needet for many parts of the act and that she would be able to give the best experience to her partner.

[@melchiorlise2466]

I am worried for anyone disturbed enough to consider her as a sexual partner.

[@Uneclipsed]

Uugh I can’t with Sonalee. There are things you say amongst your friends who understand what you mean or who will gently challenge you. You do. Not. Say. Them. In a doc about SA. You don’t touch CNC with a 10ft pole, let alone suggest it as a way to “treat” r*pists. There are enough people in the kink community who don’t even practice it safely. Why would you even try and talk about it within the context Bill Cosby? Hopefully CNC is practiced with someone you trust, not with someone who doesn’t give a f*ck about you. Someone who might intentionally or unintentionally kill you. They’re literally enabling assault. Absolutely unhinged