Oddity Archive: Episode 136 - VHS Vault Vol. 12 (Child Safety Videos)

[@PIXPromosMore]

I applaud your restraint on that "Bad Touch" segment; The girl's name is Lisa, her friends are urging her not to keep secrets, the pervy uncle looks like a melted Greg Sestero, the dialogue is badly acted, and Not ONE "The Room" joke is made. Bravo, Ben.

[@patrickgrogan4382]

PIX Promos & More The uncle looks like he’d turn into a werwolf on a full moon, then he haunts Lisa in her sleep...

"Remember, when you hear the Pause sound, pause the video and discuss the topic with your parents," But I am an orphan and have no parents, they died in a horrible car accident, and now you have just reminded me of it! Thanks, anti-bullying programme.

[@AbbeyB77]

The little girl in the second video telling the lady with the map to go and ask a grown up for help just says it with such scorn that it makes me laugh

[@vapordave2234]

burrrrrrrrn. flame thrower!!

[@nomadcowatbk]

THATS MY PURSE, I DON"T KNOW YOU!!

[@newstarcadefan]

After that, is a game of "kickball"

[@peterdaniel7751]

Lol king of the kill Bobby hill said that

[@Phil6219]

That boy ain't right I tell you what...

[@windows95se]

"Mine's covfefe. Well, that's my safe word." the line that sums up 2017

[@marktubeie07]

Your commentary on this I've Ben is exemplary, oh and hilarious! And nice Jack Benny reference at the end.

[@TheWoundedFoot]

This is probably the best episode of Oddity Archive. Jokes were on point. Mad props on the Attila song at the end! The bad-ass band Billy Joel doesn't want to admit he was ever in!

[@KentuckyRanger]

Most uncomfortable quote; *"Is Stranger Danger still a thing? I hope so..."*

[@AzraelEnterprise]

Im now want you to rift the PSA A Time To Tell, we had to watch it in Boy Scouts. It's in the same vein as this stuff, but more "better" lines.

[@Ionician01]

13:24 They should elaborate on "dirty tricks".

[@dunes8817]

Surprised none of the ones you showed brought up the whole "I message" stuff that some tried to push in dealing with bullies. I will give credit to the "Bad Touch" one for actually addressing that that kind of stuff can come from a family member or someone they know.

[@soonerterp]

Am I the only one that caught that the redheaded kid in the first video was wearing Birkenstocks? Also am I the only one that noticed that every "kid" in those vignettes looked unusually well-scrubbed and stylish (such as '90s style was) for "typical" school kids?

[@dirtnation]

21:40 "why is there white powder on this?" 25:39 Mother style really is that 90's business woman style that you seen a lot of late 20's had on during that time.

[@5roundsrapid263]

18:30 Wabuu from Dingo Pictures?

[@danmount9462]

The Bad Touch video needed to be shown at Penn State.

[@bdaddyn678]

Dan Mount I wholeheartedly agree.

[@WAQWBrentwood]

Ah, yes, from Penn State to the State Pen! 🏈🏈🏈

[@hulavaultboy5935]

Dan Mount Force Jerry Sandusky to watch 24/7 in his cell.

[@Clay3613]

Well, I've gotten multiple Crash Bandicoot ads before your video. So Sony approves.

[@hulavaultboy5935]

Got an Acura ad. Guess that Honda approved it as well.

[@Fuzy2K]

20:34 -- Okay kids, the code word is 'Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch'. Now you say it!

[@WinterSteele]

Oh man, this is the type of stuff you'd see on "Wheel of the Worst." My condolences that you had to sit through these, lol.

[@dunes8817]

I had that same Meeko plush when I was a kid.

[@snowandice8804]

I love the creepy string music intro.

[@SameNameDifferentGame]

8:33 that kid's jorts/tall socks combo is SLAYING.

[@dumb5308]

Just rediscovered your channel... 😂

[@kstxevolution9642]

i love how the sideways stance with the hand up looks like the kid will engage in hand to hand fencing. Anyone remembered the zangief kid?

[@GeoNeilUK]

The Wendell and Al video needs a cuts to 1980s video game footage with a British man saying "Wrong..... Try Again...." or repeating "Right" over and over again, getting more manic each time, though you would need a rather abstract but horrifying way to portray children being abused horribly, something that's perfectly portrayable under the U certificate but will scar you emotionally. British PIFs aimed at children would have narrators and presenters offhandedly saying things like "You have to keep yourself safe, because if you go off woth strangers, they might touch you in places in funny places and make you do to them what Mummy and Daddy do to each other!"

[@Zycyzyx]

They missed a great chance for a visual gag by not having Kareem step in and do the same techniques when "asking for an adult to help"... preferably ending with a judo throw that sends the bully out of a window.

[@wacotablet1055]

Out of all the things I was expecting the BullySmart video to be, a martial arts video that plays out like a video game tutorial was not one of them.

[@snowandice8804]

Pepperspray and switchblades are the best defense.

[@loganbaileysfunwithtrains606]

What happens when you smack them and runaway and then their homies start chasing you, now instead of 1 guy trying to fight you now you have 10 guys trying to fight you

[@EvertGuzman]

Been there done that

[@bdaddyn678]

Watch any WWE show, preferably before 2005.

[@loganbaileysfunwithtrains606]

Evert Guzman lol

[@frankbrody239]

You get Lisa's pervy uncle to molest all of them, that ought to show em'!!!! hhahha!!

[@aaronmoore7649]

You run to a fall-back position and either bottle-neck them and force them into a disadvantage, or pick up a brick, bottle,belt and start bleeding and blinding your attackers.

[@Tazzer88]

12:34 that's the first time I've heard anyone use the phrase 'psycho hose beast' outside of describing Izzy from Total Drama.

[@Michael-Crouch]

Wayne’s World

[@sawbonesquad4876]

"A harbinger of things to come?" HOLY SHIT BEN. Darkest joke on the Archive?

[@scabbarae]

Is that first kid the same kid from Troll 2?

[@owllymannstein7113]

Can I point out how fucked up it is that they had a fucking subliminal ad in the molestation bit?

[@charlotteriddle7303]

Dude, YOU ARE A GENIUS FILM MAKER !!!!! 😙😙😙😙

[@Branhower1]

I thought Dr. Katz and Home Movies were the only Squigglevisions.

[@mysticvirgo9318]

Next week, Ben takes on Afterschool Specials!

[@chrysanth.5700]

"C'mon, man, it's only chalk." It was some variation of that. But man was it amazing. Probably my favorite line from the whole video.

[@Andrew_G4CH]

Lost it at The Nostalgia Critic comment. Well done!!! 😂😂

[@nicholsjoshua15]

Nostalgia Critic is getting really boring nowadays. Strangely enough, Angry Video Game Nerd is getting better and better.

[@princesstamika]

gee you're easy

[@otaking3582]

@@princesstamika Nostalgia Critic makes himself an easy target

[@ArchiveofAwesomeness1886]

The slap or how to start a fight.

[@mr3urious]

I think I actually remember watching that Bully Smart video. Didn't it also show the kid fighting back with a cup of water or a rolled-up newspaper? 'Cuz that's what I remember.

[@OddityArchive]

It did. The full tape is elsewhere on YT (as is the "Be Safe" tape).

[@ChuckD79]

Isn't the Street Smarts Dance what winning contestants on a certain early 00s game show did? LOL

[@meowza3k]

23:44 Grace Park?

[@internetslackerDOTcom]

As a lover of obscure video and technology, I really look forward to your videos. As the kids say these days, You Rock. :)

[@Headywon]

How does Ben deal with bullies? *Concealed carry*

[@Headywon]

How can I fight bullets with my bare hands please explain

[@Headywon]

Yeah; guy's clearly never had a gun pulled on him or been shot at before or he'd understand the real point of concealed carry.

[@kd0chr]

Headywon you’re exactly right. Criminals will have guns regardless of legality. I’ve had a gun pulled on me and have had to use mine to save my own life. It’s a terrible weight to bear knowing the results of doing what I had to do. I’d much rather live with that instead of not being alive to contemplate it.

[@Headywon]

Even affecting availability doesn't change anything; sometimes it even makes things worse. Look at the UK, they cracked down on knives so people are going around throwing acid in peoples' faces instead. Once they crack down on the chemical attacks there people will probably just go around lighting people on fire.

[@nanismeelasla]

I'm just going to take a guess and say that this probably dosen't include the "Seymour the Safety Seal" vhs tapes

[@RadioFreeCedarCity]

You can "stance" if you want to, but you WILL leave your friends behind...

[@hayleywaalen2612]

You made a Simpsons reference by saying "Worst Tango Ever!". Man, I wish the Comic Book Guy said that.

[@josephgioielli]

Billy Joel never sounded better.

[@WAQWBrentwood]

RE, Tape 1 "BullySafe", The 1976 approved "McKeesport,PA anti-bullying method" involved 3-4 of the victims cousins, some rebar, 2"x4"s and an abandoned building. RE, Tape 2 "Be Safe with Wendel and Al" , Tape actually glosses over a HUGE danger for kids AND grownups: Racoons are the #1 carriers of rabies!

[@ababyharpseal6534]

I like how it's BullySmart: For Kids, implying that there's a BullySmart for adults.

[@snowandice8804]

Pepperspray works wonders against bullies...

[@Ward1706]

As does a Swiss Army knife.

[@thekidfromiowa]

Oh the horrendous 90s fashion. Bowl cuts and baggy shirts galore

[@jasonsouvannarath5789]

Clncealed carry is my personal favourite..... had my ribs cracking and my medicated vapor pouring from my mouth. Oh man, that was funny. I used to use my cane as a weapon against real bullies.

[@TRLTheRandomLab]

Those two bullies look like young versions of Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold

[@artism9780]

I’ve heard of one Child Safety Video that got praised by President George W Bush. It’s called the Safe Side. A video series created by John Walsh, the host of America’s Most Wanted (whose son got kidnapped and killed ) and Julie Clark who created Baby Einstein. It kinda behaves like Bill Nye the Science Guy and Zoom. Proceeds of the videos go to the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children. It won a couple of Emmys.

[@explodingnightmareproducti5612]

"A little harbinger of someone's fate I presume" LOL

[@neilforbes416]

First video, totally unworkable! Why? Bullies don't respect their victims and the first thing they'll do is get their potential victim up against a wall or fence or suchlike, and bullies generally don't go one-on-one as they are cowards on their own, so they'll pair up(or maybe three or more in a gang) to intimidate the victim. A victim's only hope is to have a teacher passing by(in school) or a sympathetic adult passing by(in other situations) that will scare the bullies off.

[@GeoNeilUK]

Having a sense of humour and an audience helps if you're at school, the only problem is the bully might want to fight you after school (in which case, you will still have an audience) or come after you when you don't have an audience. If your insults are better than theirs, it putd them off guard.

[@neilforbes416]

+MidAtlanticGal: If what you said is added to what I said in my comment, then the bullying victim doesn't stand an ice cube's chance in a steelworks blast furnace. The bullied victim's only real chance is if(in school) the teacher or principal happens to pass by and sees for him/herself what's going on and deals appropriately with the bullies(expels them without right of appeal) or (out in the street) any adult passing by, preferably the parent(s) of the victim who can then have the bullies arrested, charged and sent to a juvenile reformatory institute of some kind.

[@neilforbes416]

+GeoNeilUK, Your idea is good in theory, but in practice? The simple truths are: 1) kids can and will be cruel if they detect a weakness in another kid. 2) bullies do not respect their victims. 3) bullies are usually cowards so unless the bully is taller than his/her victim, he/she won't go one-on-one with the victim, instead will gather others around him/her and gang up on the victim.

[@bdaddyn678]

Think any handicap wrestling match (2 on 1, 3 on 1, etc.) in which the heels (villains, bad guys, etc.) outnumber the faces (good guys, victims). I should know. I see it all the time in WWE programming.

[@neilforbes416]

+bdaddyn678: I'm no fan of wrestling, or boxing for that matter, but the idea you described is still valid and applies to the bullies if you superimpose it on a school or factory scenario

[@Robdeltonie]

StreetSmart: How to convince the school board you're bullying your bully!

[@PenguinVideoStore]

Am I the only one who thinks the camera dude in the public park looks like Steve Buscemi's character in Fargo? At least, if he'd quit being a hired goon and taken up hitting on kids.

[@5roundsrapid263]

HakkiriMotto 21:35 “Do you like gladiator movies?”

[@dorourke105]

15:22 And don't forget to look into my eyes, seriously Kareem for the love of god blink

[@erickamorgan4564]

Tony looks to be sooooo uncomfortable pretending demonstrating hitting that chick.

[@jlindsey241]

If you're gonna do a shuffle, let it be the curly shuffle. Get on the ground and start running in circles, the bully will not be able to touch you!!!!!! Especially if you're screaming out the battlecry WOO WOOO WOOO WOOO WOOO!!!!!!!!!!

[@Agamemnon2]

...so their technique for dealing with bullies is literally "Talk to the hand".

[@ericariley1696]

In which Benny Boy forgot to take his Midol and some chick kicks a bully in the groin, just like Bobby Hill would've done.

[@Armorhunterash]

8:34 Hybrid heaven battle system in a nutshell

[@bdaddyn678]

Some of the avoidance tactics might not work of the bully has some associates with him. Think of WWE during the Attitude Era. Think being the victim of a 4 Horsemen beat down (NWA wrestling / WCW wrestling).

[@aaronmoore7649]

Thumb-in-the-eye isn't mentioned? No strikes to sense organs or load-bearing joints? Pfft.

[@jlindsey241]

So a slap to the nuts is more effective than a punch to the nuts???? Duely noted!!!!! LOL

[@goodshowmanythanks]

Beware the friendly stranger.

[@gangoffour6690]

The should of told the kids STAY AWAY FROM KEVIN SPACEY !

[@visaman]

I am 53 and I like pizza and getting into cars with pretty women!

[@jamespriest7328]

Wheres her gun? Radio? Cuffs? She's not a real cop! Run children! RUN!!!!

[@rainbowlightx]

gr8 video.

[@maey8910]

1 stay out of my personal space 2 please back away from my personal space 3 stay out of my personal space....

[@ArchiveofAwesomeness1886]

It's stance not dance it says so on the card

[@jlindsey241]

I say the lazy boy video should be a guy giving advice from a recliner

[@joseletevolador]

You get paid in support Long Life Ben!!

[@jlindsey241]

Yes!!! Get an adult to help you, they can hold the bully while you slap him repeatedly!!!!! LOL

[@otaking3582]

At least that BullySmart video gives more useful information than Cool Cat Saves the Kids

[@EddieHawkinsII]

Needs more Erik Estrada

[@themagnificentmasterx4452]

This is the worst form of martial arts I"ve ever seen.

[@GTdba]

Pa-Pa-Pantasaurus! Pa-Pa-Pantasaurus! What's in your pants belongs only to you/ Your pants cover up your private parts!/ Your Private parts belong only to you/ If someone askes to see them just tell them NO!

[@KentuckyRanger]

@ 18:05 *OMG!!!* I was thinking the EXACT same thing!!! LOL! R.I.P CDi...

[@emmarose4234]

You should do StrangerSmart!

[@goodshowmanythanks]

Stance!

[@KentuckyRanger]

@ 20:35 *Creepy Critters?* Are you frikin' kiddin' me?...

[@Gilerajohannes]

Every day im shuffeling lol

[@jlindsey241]

Are teachers with the student most the time? Uh-huh nowadays that could be a yes!!!!! LOL

[@JCtechwizard]

@11:55 and what if the bully has a shaved head? I guess you're s___ outta luck.

[@LordClydeofOMAR]

This video gets the psychology of bullies completely ass-backward. Bullies don't feel vulnerable and insecure, they actually have too much self confidence and need to be taken down a peg.

[@mikemoos]

Depends on the bully. What is "bully" even. Are there any real bullies? I've been teased and made fun of at school. And i've teased and made fun of others in school. There was a strange... symbiosis in our school, where sometimes you'd be the victim, sometimes you'd be the perpetrator. I think that's normal.

[@mysticvirgo9318]

43% are afraid of bullies 57% ARE bullies

[@maxwelsh6121]

I mean I don't bully, but if I were about to get into a fight or something I wish a fool would try to snatch a chunk of my hair out , it would only serve to make me more angry. This stance advice is just about useless, but might work in a school yard if a teacher would eventually show up, try it with a mugger or somebody who actually wished you ill will and it's basically a video of how to make sure you're more thoroughly f***** up by your assailant , lol

[@cbehr91]

Say "street smarts dance" five times fast.

[@therickeffect]

Thanks to Zero Tolerance...there is shame in fighting back

[@KentuckyRanger]

@ 21:17 Pizza and a free CD Heck yea!!! I'd follow him!...

[@jlindsey241]

Nothing like taking advice from cartoon critters that eat trash!!!! LOL

[@pearofsalamanca]

Why in the name of God is an anti-bullying tape teaching fighting methods like pulling hair?

[@pearofsalamanca]

Oh....oh, fuck. That's why?!! They were making a spin-off tape of a martial arts program as an anti-bullying tape?! Were these people dropped as a baby?

[@FromTheRoomOfLittleEase]

I was bullied in the 80s and 90s and fought back. I was told "Oh, you think you're tough now?" and found myself in something like a boxing circuit where new challengers stepped forward every day in gym class. It was like "Enter the dragon" or "Street fighter 2." But with young folks. Many of which looked like 30 year olds. Some of which would actually become small time local professional boxers! Cool! Yeah, none of those people offered me drugs for some reason, go figure. I'm certain some of them wanted very much to touch me in a secret way, though.

[@JL-sm6cg]

Sadly, Ben, I chose not to watch this episode, as I have a very unpopular (but it SHOULD be popular) opinion on how bullying should be handled. Mainly because no other way has ever worked.

[@OddityArchive]

Pretty sure I dropped one or two unpopular views in the Bully Safe riff as well.

[@MegaPianoplayer1]

There is so much that is wrong and cringe about this. Hilarious, but cringe. Also, do they think that kids just saying no to potential kidnappers is going to stop them?

[@KentuckyRanger]

Why were all the bullies in the 90s wearing shirts with the sleeves torn out??? And now we know... And knowing is half the battle, *GO-JO!!!*

[@jamespriest7328]

I'd let her pull my hair! Wink wink.....