Off The Record: Update on Joe's Crazy Dad

[@bigmahc4835]

This lowkey therapy for Joe, You can tell he really wanted to let all this out.

[@remi4408]

Ya definitely

[@liizzset]

Agreed. I am happy that this is happening.

[@jnm2088]

It’s big time therapy. Being able to get it out like that is good

[@chris9352]

TBH, listening closely to him telling the story, it sounds like he doesn't feel the relief he's talking about, dealing with childhood trauma is a tricky thing and he clearly didn't get his closure yet.

[@xxletm3loveyouxx734]

Joe’s mom is a good mom for giving Joe the opportunity to get to know his father, before disclosing her own experience with him, and bonding over that.

[@AsianCurls]

Yeah, she waited 20 years before giving her opinion! And she could've easily waited her whole lifetime and never told him cuz her resolve to give Joe the opportunity to get to know his father.

[@kheilabrice295]

It’s crazy that a lot of us in our 30s are now unwrapping childhood trauma caused by our parents & they honestly don’t remember. To this day my mom denies many of the things she’s done/said to me…even up to recent years. Or she says I’m exaggerating or plays victims like I’m just a horrible daughter attacking her. It’s really sad to see so many of us going through the same thing. An entire generation traumatized.

[@desertsoul02]

Girl, I'm 29 and I don't remember shit from high school. I went back to my hometown these past holidays and the amount of people that remembered me and invited me to their Christmas was insane to say the least. As far as I remember I only had four 4 friends and turns out there were like 20 people talking of having stories with me.

[@olgacamacho4349]

Same

[@justinava1675]

Im sick of this generation crying about trauma like snowflakes. Generstions prior had to worry about survival and getting food on the table. People just too comfortable and play victim all the time. Man the fk up

[@Sheishi_Games]

I remember everything since I was 5 years old and Im already 36. My mom also doesnt remember when I tell her about it jokingly.

[@mazzybananas]

The axe forgets but the tree will always remember

[@Stephanie-ki5oz]

many narcissist parents claim to forget abuse... terribly common but awful nonetheless. :(

[@joefasho7777]

Very common with a lot of Asian parents. Ask me how I know. Unfortunately due to the social dynamics of our culture, narcissistic gaslighting is almost enforced.

[@Stephanie-ki5oz]

@@joefasho7777 I’m sorry that’s been your experience as well. ❤️

[@danelewis5475]

You aren’t kidding, my mom started doing it a couple weeks ago.

[@Tartebio]

Its an Asian thing

[@Tran-ll2it]

I’ve seen it come back in abused children claiming to never had been harsh or abusing towards the narcissistic parent they are forced to care for when old and ill when they actually were, vicious cycle it can be, I imagine it’s felt as deserved

[@x3Stoopid]

Joe, that catharsis you felt after that convo with your Dad is all the feelings that you’ve suppressed throughout the years! It’s good that you were able to express that to him! Whether or not he takes responsibility, it was still such a big step in your healing process to voice your truth! ♥️🙏

[@AsianCurls]

Fr, I felt catharsis hearing that story and everyone's reactions to it ❤

[@DieWundeBliebt]

what joe said at the end about people who always tell you to be the bigger person when it comes to abusive parents is so true. Its always the people that had a loving family growing up that say this.

[@AsianCurls]

Yeah. Could also be the people who will turn out abusive themselves too :( People (who enable those abusive behaviors by sweeping it under the rug) see the abuse as a warranted and normal thing. "Being the bigger person" is also a way to not address the problem (which is your friend getting hurt)

[@michellevilla4498]

It's the adult Joe protecting his inner child ❤️❤️❤️ that's why he feels this way ❤️❤️❤️

[@blujan93]

I'm so sorry that you had to go through this Joe

[@RIFATTY]

Barts jokes during serious parts of the convos were killing me 😂 And even after that twist in the story I'm still kinda glad to hear Joe's dad's not dead 😅🙃

[@HienLe-re5sf]

“That’s kinda bars”

[@__Hmmmmmmmm__]

5:17 killed me loool.😂. Classic Bart.

[@laurenandrews6180]

his life makes mine feel more normal 😭😭

[@blerzer]

I can so relate Joe's story my mom kicked me out of the house because she thought I stole her purse I came back 6 hours later and she didn't even notice I was gone and told me to get ready for church. I told her about it recently and she said it was the devil that put that memory in my head... talk about gaslighting 🙃 and she wonders why we cant be close

[@GeneralLocooo]

Don’t let that experience destroy your relationship with God. Many narcissistic Christians think they aren’t a part of the same evil that the devil tempts and commits as well. Only difference is that we have redemption through Christ. Satan and his angels don’t.

[@ParaPod-Shegul]

Damn please spend as less time with her and get therapy. It’s the worst

[@TheMOTVMedia]

"actually a script for a Latin soap opera" just killed me

[@Re4perZer0]

on the real though, this was my favorite episode of jkn. reminds me of my relationship with my dad. listening to joe and bart talk helps me sort of process my own situation as well. especially since they're guys I fuck with so heavy. I really mean it. I hope they find peace, however that looks for them.

[@ItzAlex626]

Damn, I didnt think wed ever get update to what happen to his pops.

[@dead7781]

"When one has not had a good father, one must create one" -Nitszche This quote has helped me a lot in my life. Anytime someone hurts you, use it as a learning experience on what NOT to do and what NOT to be like. Be careful you don't become like them and just repeat the cycle. That road is not fun, trust me....

[@emilyzheng2908]

Wow your mum's family really have class. They did all that for that con artist and didn't speak ill of him when you were growing u and gave you time to find out what a shitty person he is on your own

[@cherryspell18]

"That's kinda bars ,but nah" lol 🤣 Bart injecting those jokes in between is so funny. But real talk , this is one of my favorite recent episodes. I was happy for you Joe, getting it out of your system and saying it to him is a step towards the right direction. I hope you find peace and healing from all the trauma you experienced as a child. As always , JK crew, I love the content you share with us. ❤

[@Dlizarraga]

I love when Joe lets it all out. You gotta get that shit off your chest.

[@georgeso8305]

Much respect for Joe and his mom showing so much restraint towards such a terrible waste of a human being.

[@lovelynn93]

And that's a toxic parent! Never be like that, future parents. How scary, the fact that he doesn't remember it nor does he even admit it and just says it was "discipline". It's no wonder why some of us turn out to be a mess. Cause of shit like that! Good for Joe, he stood up for himself and he finally let his father know how horrible he was. Joe found inner peace in that moment, and he must have felt so good!

[@Dtzeo503]

The Asian community needs to stop normalizing this kind of parenting and behavior it's unacceptable. It's not healthy for a family to act like that because it could break families.

[@nabr0n]

joe has found enough inner peace to say, 'we can still have a relationship, but you have to be accountable for what you did.' PROPS! that takes a lot of work. my asian dad also has 'amnesia' about the past.... we gotta break the cycle

[@crashingxhearts]

My parents also denied physically abusing me when as a child, when I brought it up as an adult. They straight up told me I was lying. I have the mental scars and resentment as proof.

[@mb_249]

Sounds just like my mom. She used that "I don't remember" BS too. I made sure that she respected me as well.

[@applepieclub5012]

Damn…I’m sorry, Joe. That’s beyond fucked up what happened to you and your family. Thanks for sharing. I was on the edge of my seat listening, because I related hard to a lot the things you said. Asian parents discipline techniques, forcing religion, and gaslighting after you bring up their past transgressions, are what I related to because I’ve personally experienced them all myself. It fucks you right up, no matter how old you get or how much you think you’re over it.

[@BBoyWassabi]

It fucks you right up, no matter how old you get or how much you think you’re over it, that right there hit me

[@Dtzeo503]

Yes very that.

[@KoldLv]

Yeah, old Asian tradition way of teaching kids should be banned. I was lucky my parents gave me freedom to choose what's important in my life, for myself. It helped me a lot....its everything that makes me who I am today, from relationships with friends to acknowledging life as it is. Parents are fully responsible for raising children, to form their future, to prepare them for the real world. If you're not 100% sure you're ready to be a parent, please, please, do not have kids out of your selfishness. Thank you

[@youngreckless97]

@@BBoyWassabi I’m healing from my family traumas myself. I do have a lot of days where I shake my head and say no not right now but I made the decision to seek therapy. When it starts I hope it helps me heal from some of this shit

[@BBoyWassabi]

@@youngreckless97 hopefilly i learn to stop shaking my head and prolonging the need for help

[@ChyEny]

I'm so sorry that you had to go through that Joe. Thank you for sharing your experience as this helps me with my own experience as I am so used to hearing people say just forgive our parents because they're our parents.

[@dopeesstriah]

Never thought we’d hear a update. Glad you got to let this out joe. Good for you.

[@pandabearyin]

“Sometimes it’s much better that you surround yourself with the family that you choose rather then the family that you have to be with” damn I felt this XD

[@sxhxlzxb]

Joe’s dad gaslighting must be the most frustrating thing to deal with L for him

[@jaelgallegos7663]

Im kinda glad joes dad left now hearing this update

[@kermitfrog4531]

Similar childhood. I've had a guitar smashed across my face, my ears have bled, multiple scars on my legs and back, etc. I'm starting to wonder if this is common among Asian families

[@Dtzeo503]

For some odd reason it's mostly common in Asian families but im pretty sure in other families aswell. I also don't like that it's normalized in Asian communities shouldn't be that way it's not very healthy. I resented my father when i was younger because of how he talks to my mother and his short temper. For some reason my parents are still together. Staying together for the sake of your children when you are in a unhealthy relationship/marriage is not how it should go because it affects the children aswell. You cannot just tell the child to ignore it kids suck things up like a sponge so ofc this upbringing will affect them later in life. But the parents are not too bright enough to understand that. I was told by my father to just ignore it but as child there is no way i can ignore it. Yup i resented my father for a long time up until i got older i realized yes my father has a mental issue possibly narcissistic. But hey he's old nothing can change that unless he wants to help himself. Yes he has calmed down a lot more but he still has moments of short temper. I just need to learn from this and treat my future children better earn their trust and have a good relationship with good communication and be understanding.

[@petiqeu]

Definite not normal regardless of race

[@HettesKvek]

@@petiqeu : It's normal if the parent grew up in a traditional asian household. Corporal punishment is still common place in asia. "Nepal and Mongolia are the only countries in Asia with legislation banning all forms of corporal punishment in all settings."

[@dramafan2440]

Would love to hear stories of Joe’s brother and if Joe’s brother and him are still connected

[@Progressiveforlife]

Bart kept joking around and shit was the best parts of the video 🤣🤣🤣🤣👌

[@jdpm9182]

After taking my senior photos for high school, i talked to my mom and confronted her about growing up with getting beat/abused and the results of all of it. Not only for myself but for my sister too. She told me that's how she was raised and that's all she knew about "discipline" etc. Since then, it took a while but now my family has had less fights and abuse against each other. Joe's story reminded me of that turning point in my life.

[@officialniktheking6891]

I keep forgetting Joe has a brother. It’d be nice to see him once

[@hassanrahman4947]

I know exactly how joe feels it’s so crazy I still feel forced to forgive and move on but it’s changed my whole life and who I am today it’s not easy to forgive and move on

[@ForeverWondering888]

Thank you Joe for sharing it’s comforting to hear the familiar struggles of dealing with photic parents 🙌🙌🙌

[@shhv3448]

Good job at setting boundaries Joe!

[@SS-vt1hb]

I really enjoyed hearing this story. Thanks for sharing Joe.

[@piranavenarunthavaselvan172]

I predict that this is going to be their most viewed video in a while

[@officialniktheking6891]

I thought the same thing

[@VRose-jr7if]

As a child I remember my mother would sometimes flip a sudden fuse and beat one of us until she’d calm down from being angry. And I say one of us because it didn’t matter who it was as long as she beat her anger out on whoever she could reach. My sister was always a bit slow and blindly nieve so whenever our mother would get angry and tell us to “come here”, I ran to the closest door I could find and lock myself in there until my mother would calm down which would usually be after 2-3 hours afterwards. She stopped doing that after we got a bit older but my sister’s screams behind the bathroom door were something I hated hearing. And to this day I still feel guilty about it. My mother denies ever hitting us as children and gets angry because she thinks I’m fabricating a fake story to make her look bad. My sister still remembers…

[@SaisaiDem]

Joe has all the making of becoming a supervillain but Bart really helped him.

[@sagirlthascar2561]

Bart and Joe should write about their life. I feel like it would be a really good read.

[@Vincisomething]

I don't know, my mom is 60 but she remembers things she did as a kid and she especially remembers spanking us lol. And she apologized 🤷🏾‍♀

[@jamesvandergrey]

Family is a privilege, not a right. Surround yourself with the people you love and love you back. Love decides wether you are family or not. Not blood.

[@nobody-n9s]

Thanks for sharing Joe! I was invested in this story! When joe told his dad stfu I screamed! So goood

[@Sanzex]

I am returning to this channel after 4-5 years, Forget how funny they are.. Love this, keep it up

[@criselleb3525]

"That's perfect for the holidays" 💀💀💀

[@noshitsherlock2450]

Same thing happened with my mum, but her response when I asked if she felt any remorse or does she remember, she told me there was no such thing that happened and I was carry a grudge against her and being petty. OMFG. If you kick your kid against the wall till her dad had to run out of the shower to save her, she's gonna remember this for fucking life!

[@pyroromancer]

I haven't spoken to my dad in 10 years. He comes out of the blue with an email offering a sum of money. When i asked why is he offering it. He said he neglected me in my adolescence and he wants to help me in any way he can. He was mixing me up with my sister. Extroverts feel neglect, introverts thrive on neglect.

[@JuggaknotPunch]

Nick has the most bizarre head, haircut and ear combo..crazy!

[@Auslinlive]

Yessssssss Joe! I'm going through the same thing. That's awesome❤❤❤

[@teafunnyt]

“That’s perfect for the holidays”” 😅😅😅 I busted out laughing at the end

[@danni3804]

I feel somewhat similar to Joe about my dad. My dad is still with the lady he left my mom with. We only talk on Facebook. And he’s 69 with a 4 year old ..

[@uavidavida7633]

No Joe, he’s only nice and wanting to move in because he wants something from and wants to take advantage of you. Look how fast he’s moving

[@soulwarsnerd]

I actually grew up in the same religion as Joe. As a kid I never really cared for it till I had really cool role models that showed that you can have fun and have community. Then during college Ive fallen out of that community. I still loosely follow and I still believe heavily in God. But it's fucking sucks how much our parents actually drive us away when they are being extra over shit. Teaching kids how to make decision and how to deal with their choice makes way more sense than beating their ass to go to church.

[@BouncyAnimation]

damn, joe talking about his dad is always entertaining

[@3DSiscool]

Joe relationship with his dad makes me feel better about mine lmao

[@MightyMigi]

Yo I’m super happy for Joe you can tell he needed it

[@dominiqueumali3871]

This is the 2nd best. GDI joe, thanks for the all these presents :) Finally feeling the holidays

[@CheesecakesFL]

last time my parents beat me was when i pretended to be dead and they got so scared they didnt do that shit again.

[@radrose8673]

LMAOOOOOOO

[@DamnAwesome]

Lmao Joe saying, "This is for the homie" and punches 😂

[@bboystretch7788]

Great to have these guys put Asian culture and views out there. A rare breed… Keep it up guys!

[@lofivibes3640]

Can relate alittle bit to this. Anyone with narcissistic family members can. No one should ever have to go through that. It deeply affects you growing up. I feel for everyone that has to go through that.

[@Darkchildex]

Wow, been watching you guys for years. I thought I had it rough with my pops. I hated my dad at one point. But not like what Joe went through. I have nothing but respect for the way you handled it. Trials like this temper you. I'm happy for you.

[@jt3.]

First time seeing this and it’s such great timing. Family bs is so crazy. Appreciate Joe sharing and letting it all out

[@domsanchez8382]

It’s so awesome that as fans, we feel like family to the JK crew.

[@qvezotellemsumm]

24:09 Absolutely , you don’t have to like everybody , but rather love them and forgive them and keep it pushing. Surrounding yourself with people who make you uncomfortable or emotionally negative is the wrong thing to do always!

[@LookItsKalvin]

At the end when Joe said he felt like a person who just killed the person who raped them, it brought a tear to my eye, I'm so happy for Joe.

[@yveess1216]

“We’re gonna start calling you dad” fucking killed me!!!!! 🤣🤣😂💀

[@somemydayy]

You do you, Joe. As long as you do what you love and are happy doing it, that’s all that should matter.

[@KingOfKingz4736]

My dad tried to kill me and my family.. told me I wasn't his son for years and I still loved him.

[@lakshmiganapathy4128]

Joe's mom is a freaking gem

[@Dtzeo503]

Sounds like my dad but Joe's dad is way worse. And my parents are still together 😬. This also reminds me of how bad David's relationship with his dad used to be. I am not speaking about all Asian parents like Joe's dad has like a mental issue. It's also possible that my dad has one too. But I don't understand why they always use trauma to raise their children it's fucked up. And it also doesn't make a good relationship with the children when they grow up.

[@applepieclub5012]

Generational trauma + lack of communicating feelings/ showing affection = fucked up generations. This is a prime example why I’ve seen some Korean men have ridiculous tempers and not be able communicate without yelling. It’s all trauma. They got their asses beat and their dads never once said “I love you, son” So, for example, a grandfather beats the shit out of his son, his son takes the beatings and suffers in silence. Add this to the fact that the grandfather never once showed any love or affection to his son. The son grows up completely traumatized and unable to communicate healthy or communicate love, because he doesn’t know how. He has a son now and he disciplines him the only way he knows, by beating the shit out of him and withholding love. It’s fucked how fucked up parenting in one generation, can have such a long trickle down effect into subsequent generations.

[@Dtzeo503]

@@applepieclub5012 Yes that.

[@applepieclub5012]

@@Dtzeo503 you have the opportunity to break this entire generational trauma for your kids, should you have them. I wish you well. Happy holidays.

[@Dtzeo503]

@@applepieclub5012 Yes thank you. Hope you have a Happy Holidays aswell!

[@perit7140]

For me it’s my mum, my dad was very kind

[@aroro9856]

Omg, I have such similar experience on so many levels. I completely beleive my father was a a real psychopath he enjoyed inflicting pain. Til this day I am comfortable around violence, i dont get shocked. He asian, Im Mexican Abuse hits all nationalities.

[@jonathanrobles3301]

"we're gonna start calling you dad" -the birth of Joe Papa

[@PlayShorts3]

Joe, I'm glad you have Bart. You may not know it, but Bart probably helped you mentally and you didn't know it.

[@TheWhatscaresu]

My dad too. We have similar fathers he remembers Joe

[@cobaltblue5523]

20:50 lets go to his house right now ! the boys got your back Joe.

[@dexterjack6053]

Thats crazy, i learned so much from joe here from my own deadbeat ass dad.. idk how he could say all this without getting angry asf

[@KurtOnoIR]

Well I feel pretty good about my relationship with my dad now😅

[@namrehh]

Joe's mom is a saint for that lol

[@reese7215]

My other told me when she was younger, being the youngest child and only daughter, that my grandmother would often beat her, and she'd also get fked up by her older brothers. Now that they're all into their 50s and 60s, the brothers claim that it wasn't that bad, that they were just showing her tough love. And my grandmother, even until she passed away, claimed she had no recollection of laying a hand on my mother. My mom still forgave her, but yeah I think either old age or that they suppressed it as well :(

[@Vic-Valentine]

crazy how these parents always show back up when their kids have gotten succesful

[@F13Angela]

Dude this is just like my bio dad. I stop talking to for 6yrs and the time he came back, I tried and nope I couldn’t do it… I decided that I no long need him in my life and love him from afar. He is a straight up psycho.

[@adrianhernandez8227]

I need to go yell at my mom🤣🤣🤣

[@dianey9225]

As a mom to 4 precious babies, I don't know how our parents can treat us so bad and abandon us. After my brother took his own life I told my parents to gtfo of me and kids life. I understand Joe completely. ❤️‍🩹

[@peepeenagito2002]

Lmaooo when they said “That was Joe mama” 😭😭😭 @16:48

[@jenniferwilliams5478]

Just found this podcast the other day. Havent seen my dad since i was 5 and last time i heard his voice i was 21.... im 39 now.... my mom never spoke badly about my dad even when i wanted her to.

[@sj40unknownnotop18]

this was a hilarious episode

[@Facticly]

This is legit what my drug addict alcoholic Cuban father did. Preaching to me was the last straw.

[@jerseyltd]

I got my ass beat as a kid by my parents mostly my pops but i forgive him. I know how you feel joe but dont be too sensitive. No need to get hostile with your pops just let it be and know where you stand. Love

[@fizster]

Thanks KZbin algorithm. Gonna try to meet my dad after 7/8 years before I leave the country and this was helpful :)

[@imansniece8323]

Same! KZbin is so weird for that lol. I clicked this video b/c it said he found out he was black?? Pls tell me this is true lmaoo

[@fizster]

@@imansniece8323 uhm, I can’t say! I wasn’t concentrating on the race but the similar denial of abuse sounded like my dad, unfortunately…

[@JediWebSurf]

damn this episode was deep. And it's a good episode to learn from joe's experience.

[@itzTheChachi]

Domestic violent ppl don't remember beating people because its so casual for them. To them it isn't abuse but a normal everyday action like brushing your teeth or eating food. Its routine and ingrained in their head.

[@APRigs]

i love joes mom she sounds soooo cool

[@selenagaytan2593]

Joe’s dad is the gaslight master

[@xenarodriguez9820]

abusive parents always say they don't remember

[@Marioholder]

Laughing your way through the pain !!

[@stainedboxerz]

i gotta meet joe one day, we have alot in common. and we have long hair. :D

[@sallylee3136]

24:07 is words of wisdom

[@tonyl5344]

We with you Joe