On Gender

[@pluspiping]

It's a mostly-math channel. Doing a video about gender. It's actually about philosophy. And it's SPOT-ON ACCURATE because many adults still haven't learned how to conceptualize "people may be different from me for reasons that don't include them being dumber than me". Sums up a lot of human problems, actually. Like I said, spot-on accurate philosophy video, 10/10

[@saqibanjummasoodi]

"People may be different from me for reasons other than being Dumber than me" I am gonna use that one from now on🙂

[@MeepChangeling]

Yep. It's part of why democracy is a terrible, terrible, terrible idea. School doesn't make you smart. School doesn't make you wise.

[@pluspiping]

@@MeepChangeling I am truly too gobsmacked to ask what part of "Sometimes people are different and that's ok" prompted "democracy is bad actually" to you. What on earth are you doing with your free time.

[@venn7257]

Theory of mind. It's harder than one would think

[@tomtom-uy3ov]

homsguck Pfp.

[@squigg7107]

I love your description of “not identifying.” You put into words something I’ve struggled to understand about myself.

[@sofiavelasco8177]

Being demi is something that seems to fit well with the idea of "not identifying" 🤷

[@an0therW]

@@sofiavelasco8177 the irony of that is you're then identifying as not identifying

[@sofiavelasco8177]

@@an0therW lol yeah. Labels aren't for everyone, but it can still be useful to have a term that kinda describes how you identify. I can definitely see the irony tho 😂

[@nobody5333]

Yeah. I don’t feel “agender” or “gendfluid” I just don’t feel any gender. It’s like a check box. Instead of selecting “none of the above” I just didn’t select anything and left.

[@AspƏnTree]

I’m pretty sure it has a name it’s called “unlabeled” if I’m not wrong, you just don’t want a label and yeah.

[@AtheNiify]

I never understood gender either. 6 year old me didn't want to be a princess or a prince. I wanted to be a cloud.

[@AtheNiify]

+AtheNiify come to think of it I still do.

[@rosimoone5068]

I wanted to be a dragon. I still do.

[@dromulus18]

+Rosi Moone otherkin might be the thing for you :D

[@MewkitaTheKat]

+AtheNiify I love this comment XD

[@feelinginfinitesimal8674]

+AtheNiify I've wanted to be a cat because i kinda hate humanity. Or at least most of it

[@yuureina]

I'm a non-binary content creator, and I was recently asked on stream when I first started thinking about gender and how I fit into all of it. I think watching this video as a junior in high school was the first time I ever actually heard someone talk about gender the way I felt it, and it's truly changed the trajectory of my life from that point. Thanks so much, Vi. I feel like relatively few people are likely to come back to this comment section in the year 2021, but if you're here reflecting on your relationship with yourself, know this: you are loved, you are valid, and you are important to so many people. It can take some time to sort out your feelings, but I know you'll get through this. I believe in you. 💜

[@crowbirdy]

Hello other person out there in the world! I see your comment and it is very kind, so thank you for being a nice person :) I really appreciate your words :)

[@rayofsunshine6973]

@DGERB5 you dont even know their ”real gender ” LULW

[@Alex_Vir]

@DGERB5 so non-binary?

[@danniuwu8628]

@DGERB5 what if they look super androgynous? You cant always tell, bud. Kinda the point most of the time.

[@evil_zebra4275]

Hah! I’m here in 2022!

[@Adamant_Adam]

As a trans man who has been subbed to you since before I realized I was trans, I'm very sad that I'm only just now being recommended this video of yours. 8 years late, but still just of an important message. Thank you (Edit: oh wow this blew up! Instead of thanking for likes, I'm gonna get ahead of any future trolls in these replies. Do not interact with them- For your sake and mine ahaha! Let's keep positive :) Love you all, have a fantastic December, and a warm holiday season 🏳️‍⚧️❣)

[@pyrotechnic96]

As a trans girl I definitely watched it back then but didn't get it yet :/ hopefully it gave me a more inclusive outlook at the time. I obviously didn't understand everything that was being talked about though.

[@eddieboi4277]

It absolutely is

[@keladry12]

If I had seen this 8 years ago, I probably would have said "oh, I am the same as Vihart! I don't identify with gender at all, it's silly!" Since then, I've realized that, actually, I was working *very very hard* to ignore gender altogether, because I am also a trans man. :D

[@lythd]

as a trans girl in the same situation i also want to say thanks

[@Banzai8th]

Trans woman that's also been following you for years and just seeing this now 😮.

[@lunatheluma3804]

As a trans person i find it infinitely funny that you decided gender was real for trans people BEFORE cis people

[@paularoth4915]

I kind of do the same tho 😭 i dont understand why gender matters to people at all, but i'm more than happy for trans people and support them in everything lmao

[@hypnopompicfool985]

​@@paularoth4915Gender is just a part of how others identify each other, for many people it can feel really really distressing and terrible when you are constantly seen as something that you know inside that you're not, weather it has good or bad connotations to it because it can feel like you're true self is not being seen at all, so it's like not being acknowledged at all, witch is terrible because we are social creatures. That part of it feels reminiscent of having parents that don't even bother to ask what your favorite color is. And that's not even mentioning the socially constructed genders with the expectations on top of that, not being seen as who you are and then people being like "what's wrong with you?! You arent supposed to wear pink! You're supposed to grow a beard!" When you just want to do the things that make you happy and wear the colors that you enjoy and have a body that you know is yours. To bring it back to feeling like the child of a parent that doesn't want to know what your interests are, now imagine your parent being upset that you don't look, act, and sound like the neighbors kid who was just born differently than you and has different struggles and different strengths then you. It's like that but on a large scale because society convinced everyone that there's only two ways to be and that you don't get a choice cause it's something you can't change instead of acknowledging that it's backwards thinking and we should learn more about each other as humans beings first before making rules and expectations that have only served to make many many many many people miserable and 1% of them successful and happy, it's like being told to never wash your hands after eating your whole life no matter how many messes you get on you because "That's how it's always been and that's how it's supposed to be, you were born to do this everybody knows and everyone does it and everyone needs to do it for the world to go around!" and then you wash the mess off of you and the world hasn't been destroyed by it and it makes things so much easier and you're like "What the actual fuck is their problem? This was so much more effective and easy all along and they are so dead set on doing it that way." And then you learn through science that it's better to do so because of hygiene killing germs and bacteria and it just makes you feel better and you try to tell them and they're like "No it's basic and essential knowledge! We taught you this when you were born! You're supposed to never wash your hands after eating!" And you just feel this weird crushing feeling of so many people wanting to do something else for no good reason-.. sorry for the rant but you get the point.. hopefully

[@sylv512]

I'm sorry, but you can't be cisphobic. Cis people are privileged in every way. There is no way to systemically discriminate against a cis person. You, my friend, are a sensitive little bitch and need to grow up.

[@sylv512]

​@@paularoth4915 I'm sorry that you don't understand it. It doesn't mean you have to be an asshole, but I know that can't get through your narrow worldview. Keep lying to yourself.

[@sylv512]

​@@hypnopompicfool985 Gender is whatever you want it to be. Gender is not inherently binary like you claim. However, it's apparent that you fake your gender for attention-seeking behavior.

[@HollyWarlock]

I'm not cis and the past couple days I've been falling apart because I just can't figure anything out, sometimes I want to be a girl so desperately and sometimes I can't even understand what that means. It's really nice to hear someone talk about the "I don't even know what you're talking about" side of the gender spectrum cause that's just such a vibe

[@jamsistired]

I’m not an expert but I know there are flux genders where it changes from time to time, maybe that’s something you’re experiencing?

[@Adamant_Adam]

Hey, you don't have to figure it all out in one day :) This shit is confusing enough, and the world doesn't make it easier. Just be sure to practice self love, and surround yourself with kind people

[@_BubblGum_]

@@jamsistired i am genderfluid so i switch genders often. its a big mess but i am proud to know this!

[@nikodemjelonek8420]

hi, heres my gender advice: instead of asking yourself "what am i", ask yourself "what would make me happier" and go from there.

[@defaultdan7923]

i hate how relatable this is. some days i feel like im about to announce to everyone who i really am, and the next i’ll be distancing myself mentally from anything of the sort. it always creeps back in, and i feel trapped, but i also feel terrified about saying anything about it because it feels like the people i know and love will think differently of me.

[@smartsport]

Dude this is so relatable Beyond just not being that attached to gender, the idea that you should treat others not how YOU want to be treated, but how THEY want to be treated, is insanely powerful. If I'd learned that earlier in life I wouldn't have made as many mistakes.

[@calebfoley5872]

The golden rule has its flaws it seems. The kindergarten kids are gonna be pissed lol. Now they gotta learn at least 2 whole rules.

[@perevision]

I loved this image of young Vi Hart. 'What do you identify as, Vi?' 'A mathematician? What even is this question'

[@PokeSpriterAce]

"Or maybe a number theorist. Or a botanist."

[@aidan8422]

"sneke"

[@sophiastordahl8752]

A mathemusician

[@3sides1eye28]

a spiky thinh

[@tiny_M]

Yeh that was basically me. "ARE YOU GOING TO BE A WOMAN IN SCIENCE?!?!" ”I'm... Gonna be an astrophysicist in science?"

[@LordMarcus]

This video describes pretty well my initial experiences with gender. Gender was (and continues to be) unimportant to me. I am cisgendered only insofar as I don't feel like my body is incorrect, but I have no love of being biologically male nor a need to earn recognition "as a man"; and the biological sex and gender identities of others don't really play a role in how I want to treat people or be treated by them. It wasn't until I spoke with some transgendered persons that I came to realize that gender IS very important to some people (and obviously not just to transgendered people, but cisgendered people as well). It was silly but admittedly paradigm shifting to stop thinking of other minds from the viewpoint of my own and begin taking people at their word as to their own internal state of mind.

[@colindupee]

I'm fine with all of that, and I can even completely understand hating the cards you are dealt, and wishing for new cards. That being said, unless you have a LOT of money to do an AMAZING job counterfeiting new cards (i.e. for gender reassignment), I can't see how scribbling on your cards will make the situation anything but worse.

[@futuregamer25]

⁠​⁠​⁠@@colindupeeFor a lot of people gender is not about their body, they’re not dealt a gender and do not need surgery to switch. People want to be socially viewed as a man/women, biology need no part in that equation.

[@RasmusVJS]

@@futuregamer25 Though, for others, part of their dysphoria does come their body not fitting what they want it to look like. Bottom surgery wouldn't be nearly as popular as it is among trans people if it was only about appearing like their gender.

[@futuregamer25]

@@RasmusVJS Oh yes I agree, I’m just pointing out biology is not the only factor of gender identity, for some it’s more important than others

[@gaeig]

@@colindupee Turns out some people still can't grasp that every person doesn't think that bodily gender dysphoria is more distressing than social dysphoria EVEN after watching the video despite it being the whole point of the video.

[@stardeki]

"Are you a man or a woman?" 'I'm a mathematician!' "No like. what's in your pants?" 'Quadratics!'

[@mayap.3884]

"No like. what's in your pants?" *starts pulling hexaflexagons out of pockets* 'Well, actUALLY-'

[@bamboozledan]

What's in my pants? A cylinder.

[@FornusSomeFornit]

@@bamboozledan nice

[@koolkel00]

🤣🤣🤣 I LOVE THAT

[@harper6327]

@@mayap.3884 best. Thing. Ever.

[@VioletRosesmith]

Many years ago I disliked this video and made ignorant and insulting comments on it, now I'm here years later to admit how utterly wrong I was and how ashamed I am of the way I reacted to it. I am now a Trans woman and part of my reaction was a rejection of my own truth. I'm so very sorry, I did real harm to others and I am as embarrased as I am ashamed. Learning that many trans people go through the same period of self rejection helps very little.. I'm sorry. All I can say is that I will spend the rest of my life making up for that mistake. Thank you Vihart, nomatter my initial reaction you were still a part of my egg cracking at last. I owe you a lot for that.

[@ladykatie8204]

We don’t know eachother but i just want to say I’m so proud of you for discovering yourself and being open about your mistakes

[@adriancole745]

Go you!

[@Hello_Hallows]

gg, you finally won the race! (the race of self-knowing, if i had to put a name to it i guess?)

[@weenis3526]

lol

[@PoggerMilo]

i totally relate to you because years ago aswell when i was younger, whenever i saw anything lgbtq things on my feed i would shoot hate comments because younger me apparently didnt like those things. but now i realized that i was an idiot and that i have become apart of the lgbtq community

[@sundeity4]

i remember when i was a small freshman falling in love with your earlier mathy videos and i lost track. i finally found you again today and since then ive finally found a way to describe the way ive always felt of gender being confusing and not making sense. finding you again and finding that youre like me has made me so incredibly happy and i just want to thank you for your videos and thank you for sharing and thank you for showing me that there are other people who feel the way i do.

[@Seeker]

This was really well done. Thank you.

[@Shakenmike117]

Love you guys

[@frankdrebiin]

DNews the lighting was crap though..

[@H3nryum]

DNews i could imagine this comment coming from *****

[@voEovove]

DNews Fancy seeing you here : )

[@Andrew-ky8vr]

DNews Oh hey

[@beckieboo2596]

This is exactly like me. I call myself a woman because thats what I was told I was and I don't know any different and its just easier just to stick to it. But my gender is never something I really cared about and I have never really FELT like a woman- I wouldn't even know what that means.I respect both cis and transgender people, but honestly their identities confuse me.

[@PokeSpriterAce]

+orochimarujes Incorrect.

[@liranpiade4499]

Well, I consider myself cis out of convenience. Only if I'm specifically asked. If I asked you specifically if you're cis or trans, what would you say?

[@86Corvus]

+Beckieboo honey you dont have a choice to feel like anything else but a woman because you are a woman. If you are confused by people identifying as their sex you are a bear with a very tiny brain.

[@liranpiade4499]

86Corvus​ She doesn't understand what's the fuss that people like you make. The thing is you're rejecting certain other people's identities. I have no issue with people who do care about gender but don't reject other's identities. Personally I don't care, or understand either you or transgenders, but the thing is usually transgenders (idk about Caitlyn Jenner) don't force their, or any identity upon me or others, so I have no issue with most of them. I call myself a man because it's convenient and doesn't matter to me.

[@liranpiade4499]

orochimarujes We have the word "female" for that.

[@julianffan]

as a kid i thought everyone had the same idea about gender i do. basically "well i have this awful human body so i have to be this type of person, whether i like it or not, and if i don't i can just keep it to myself until i die because nobody cares and there's nothing to be done". well, tldr, i was trans, obviously lmao

[@remingtonn_]

haha relatable transgender... moment... :'-(

[@shamstam]

As a kid my thought process was pretty much "man I wish I had a dick so I don't have to sit and pee, but I don't so I guess I'll just live like this", and I thought every girl ever secretly wished they were guys and simply had accepted that they werent

[@pez_ezp]

beware of the pipeline

[@MorningStarIDEK]

Same???

[@Petrichor_Pyroclast]

Same here, for me it was "It really sucks that I have to be a girl, but I just have to put up with it; I bet no one really likes being a girl anyway". Fast forward and I'm transmasc, and I know that plenty of people like being girls/women, I just happen to not be one of them (in fact it's quite affirming to meet trans women and see them being happy with their gender because it proves I was wrong about womanhood being inherently unlikable).

[@neriart]

"why would anyone do a hard thing ever??!?" -vihart, 2015

[@orlandomoreno6168]

Because Calvinism / effort culture etc

[@RegularOddball]

"I DO NOT UNDERSTAND YOUR MEAT NOISES" im gonna use that from now on

[@volocredere9592]

Same

[@julianossa3578]

+regularoddball i didnt quite get that...

[@RegularOddball]

Julian Ossa basically it's referring to the words associated with the person's genitals or "meat", do you kinda get it? cus words are just noises anyways

[@julianossa3578]

regularoddball ok...? yeah i get it

[@sighmon5640]

same

[@fattesttitsincairo]

Labels aren't for everyone, some people need them, some people don't understand them, some people hate them... To each their own, nobody's forced to use this or that label if they don't feel like it. If saying "I'm myself" is enough to you, then sure ! I feel like people in the queer community sometimes forget that even if a word exists to describe how someone feels, that person doesn't have to use it if they don't want or feel the need to. It was interesting hearing your opinion on this ^^

[@DarKillerM]

It would be ideal, but it's not always true. Gender characteristics are thaught and passed by to kids through operant conditioning that pretends to normalize your behavior according to what genitals you are born with. So yeah, we may not be forced, but eventually, at some point, the majority of people give in to social pressure. "You can't do this, because you're a girl" or "You shouldn't wear that because you're a boy" repeated to you by your parents, friends, family, or whomever it is that says something like this, if repeated enough through your childhood - which is a principle that applies to pretty much everything- will eventually make you believe that it is true, when it is NOT necessarily true... Yes, biologically we are obviously different, that's true, some functions will be innate to each gender. The main problem is that on desperation some individuals decide to mutilate their bodies, enduring a horrible transitioning process only to feel accord to what a gender is supposed to do or not do, which in my opinion is both brave and sad.

[@glamrockbard]

praise the jojo profile picture

[@kameronmartel6591]

I actually really agree with this. "Girl and boy should have stayed scientific and not gone into the emotional world." I will forever love this quote.

[@cjua2803]

+Megan Markel I agree with what your saying but at the same time I dont. Gender isn't a binary thing as for some ridiculous reason people have like 50 or so but this is because its a human construct. The only identity that should be had like you said is if ypone is male or female which is why we should have used sex in the first place instead of gender. It just gives people these weird labels that not everybody agrees with and in return makes them feel oppressed because of a situation they put themselves in. I agree gender is stupid and we should only refer to ourselves with sex.

[@ezravandermeer972]

Just like you can be gender fluid, I'm sexuality fluid, and people might not get it but I do and this works the best for me. Do what works the best for you!

[@JackieJKENVtuber]

When I was a kid, I thought that people were different from me (because that's what I had been told, and that definitely helped me as a neurodivergent kid to tolerate, but then not understand different behaviour) Then as a teenager I started to see patterns in people's behaviour, and when they all started to seem like the same person in different circumstances, I started to assume everyone is like me but different things happened to them that shaped them into who they are; this made me understand, but very rarely tolerate behaviour that was irrational Now I'm an adult and confused about how people behave By the way this comment isn't about gender, it's just that I found it to be interesting that we had almost opposite roads to arrive at the understandings we have of the world

[@ayior]

How about "Everyone is a different combination of things, but elements overlap, sometimes more, sometimes less"?

[@JackieJKENVtuber]

@@ayior way too much nuance, can't make predictions (therefore not a science, which irritates me, because everything else in the world makes sense)

[@SunIsLost]

Yea

[@Isa-tn7ex]

@@JackieJKENVtuberyou are very relatable. I am in the exact same situation as you. Irrationality is confusing and irritating

[@shamstam]

This is a very exciting and relatable comment. I've also come to the point of realising that literally everyone is the same. Maybe as I grow ill get to the confused stage as well

[@madelynk.gilmore6939]

I'm guessing you dont like my username then

[@Dudeguy217]

hey it's me ur brother

[@madelynk.gilmore6939]

HEYYYYYY

[@madelynk.gilmore6939]

I'm not alone anymore ;-;

[@pikwetti6449]

guess im joining too

[@smolmidnight4901]

:ooooooo

[@charliekeene2856]

I know this is like a 4 year old video, but I wanna say thank you for this. I'm a trans woman myself and it's great hearing people believe me. I found this video from the odds 1 out, who said "transgenderism" which, yikes, but otherwise I'm glad I saw this. Thank you

[@dmvmeu7140]

yeah same, and 'transgenderism' sounded cool + funny at first but I realised it makes it sound like a trend instead 😶

[@Alex_Vir]

At least it wasn't transvestism.

[@danniuwu8628]

@@Alex_Vir euuu yeah... had to explain to my parents (who literally arent even that old) why that term was outdated...

[@table2.0]

.. huh, I was today years old when I realised why that went out of common trans vernacular. -ism sounds like a hypothetical philosophy or belief, not a factual state of being.

[@funfan2345]

@@dmvmeu7140 it's also used as a euphemism, for example saying you want to 'eradicate trangenderism' sounds much less genocidal than saying you want to 'eradicate trans people'

[@clockworkkirlia7475]

I watched this way back when I started on my trans journey, and I've returned at a distressing point on that journey. Thank you for helping me feel as valid as I know I am.

[@Adamant_Adam]

♡♡♡♡ Hope all is well these days, and that your December holidays are warm. You've got this 💓

[@stxllr4687]

AHHHH VI! You’re the first person I know that personally felt ‘ok’ when people call you ‘woman’ or ‘man’, and MAN I just realised that’s how I treat myself as well. Perhaps it’s also (like your own experience) due to how people stereotype a ‘woman’ and ‘man’. Why can’t we all just stop pushing these gender norms to people?! Right now, I’m comfortable. I don’t feel like I’m a he, or she, or they, I just feel like I’m all of them at once, and I don’t like using a specific set just because I don’t think it’s ‘right’.

[@nwut]

i think huh societal constructs and some religions

[@MakeAcid]

you put it in words I don't care about gender and if a friend came out as any gender I would be like "ok cool" and keep my life as it is treating that friend the same using whatever pronouns I just see gender like height, eye color etc. its not something that defines if a person is cool, nice or annoying that's what I care about on a person but I do get really heated when people attack other people for gender it just feels wrong and rude

[@moreor_less]

honestly, that's the way it should be seen as--just another aspect of a person. i just wish more people thought that way and i didn't feel ashamed or afraid even to correct people when I'm misgendered. I wish it was so common place to respect another person's identity that I wasn't in danger for existing.

[@hyenaedits3460]

muuubiee Testosterone is a hormone, and hormones are not to be messed with unless medically necessary or you could have some weird side effects. Even women on the birth control pill have widely varied accounts of how it affects them. Sex change operations, like all surgeries, are risky, painful, and take a while to recover from. Even if the expense is covered and there's magically no risk involved, why go through all that trouble when it would be easier to stay as you are?

[@hyenaedits3460]

muuubiee You specifically said no health *danger*. You can be in pain without being in danger. And there's still the risk of non-fatal but still unpleasant complications. And you conveniently ignored the hormone thing. Even melatonin, a popular sleeping pill, is a hormone and can have negative effects on your health unless your body doesn't produce enough to begin with. I can't begin to imagine how testosterone could go wrong.

[@hyenaedits3460]

muuubiee I'm actually autistic, and that is the most inaccurate and insulting definition of autism ever.

[@MakeAcid]

David Green look you don't go to a short person and shout SHORT PERSON!!! maybe people say you're transphobic because you're that dude that has to point out every single detail of people's life if a person uses contacts or extensions or anything else you don't say HEY HAIR EXTENSIONS! because that's rude and uncalled for if people what to be what they want to be just let them that being possible or not is their business not yours it doesn't even affect you in the first place

[@hikari_no_yume]

Remember that gender is going to matter more to you if it doesn't fit. If your assigned gender fits you well, you barely notice, you might think you don't care. But if your assigned gender doesn't fit you well, you DEFINITELY care about it, because it's awful.

[@Silverizael]

TazeTSchnitzel Exactly. Things that don't relate to you obviously aren't going to matter as much to you as things that directly affect you.

[@hikari_no_yume]

relo999 By definition, gender identity is just, well, identity. There's no reason why non-binary genders would be any less valid than the traditional female and male. Your name isn't less valid if it's not John Smith.

[@hikari_no_yume]

relo999 The English language isn't burned into people's brains, they have to learn the labels 'male' and 'female'. There aren't two possible psychological and physiological states, there's a wide spectrum of possibilities. So having more than two labels makes sense.

[@Anergyne]

TazeTSchnitzel I always compare it to clothes that don't fit. You're not really going to notice the size of your clothes if they fit you perfectly. But you are going to notice when they're several sizes too small, are uncomfortably tight as a result, and you feel like you're choking because of your shirt pressing against your neck. That, times a thousand, 24/7 is more or less what gender dysphoria feels like.

[@Hjaelmedhorn]

ehhorvath13 Trans people *do not* just exhibit behaviour or enjoy hobbies that are normally restricted to the opposite sex. They *do not* just slightly feel that they identify more with the opposite sex. They *do* feel geniune major distress over that their physical appareance does not match their identified gender. That distress can be manifested in some by depression, self harm or even suicide. This is the reality of what is called gender dysphoria. So far all psychiatric methods have proven unsuccessful in combating it, implying it is very deeply rooted in the brain, very likely hardwired. MRI scans further confirm this with visable differences depending on gender identity, not sex. Society can obviously not affect brain development on such major scale. Could it worsen the symptoms of gender dysphoria though? Yes definitely, but making it go away completely? Most likely no. Transition for trans people is a way to get back their quality of life, which is hampared by a birth defect. If someone was born intersex most people would say that it's corrective to match their physical appearance to their gender identity, but as soon as someone is born the opposite sex their gender identity is to some unlegitimate just because tons of people live like that with no problem. And after all that's what this video said, that people can't be different, right? Sorry this didn't answer your questions directly, I got carried away. I hope you learned something anyway, and can now figure out the answers yourself.

[@marlborosoda]

ive never identified with something so hard lmao ive been struggling with this for years and you just explained everything i couldnt quite get about myself in 5 minutes

[@C4rnee]

"struggling" lol

[@yamato.takeru.no.mikoto]

@@C4rnee struggling yes. if you don't understand something everyone else seems to understand and care deeply about you start thinking there might be something wrong with you. for years I've been considering myself an insensitive asshole because I didn't understand gender. of course it's not comparable to many things that other people have to go through, but it's still a struggle

[@josefanon8504]

@@C4rnee it seems you dont understand that other people have struggles different from yours

[@kaderen8461]

i spent ages looking for a transphobic comment. here it is, now go fuck yourself "gigachad"

[@MawdyDev]

As someone who is agender, here's how I saw this video: "I'm not agender, I'm [definition of agender]" I went through the same thing for a long time. Similarly to how atheism is a lack of religious belief, agender is a lack of gender. I don't usually give a shit what pronouns someone uses for me specifically, but when it's coming from a place of an assumption of my character, it is irritating I don't mind he/him as long as it's not because people assume I'm misogynist, I don't mind she/her as long as it's not from people who only see me as a possible baby oven. I don't get dysphoric, but I respect the people who do. In my experience, being agender is sort of like being colorblind in a world where people think colorblindness isn't real. You can't see the colors that everyone else can, and it can be hard to understand why someone likes or dislikes a painting so much. But it's easier to understand once someone explains it to you without getting mad at your inability to see it for yourself.

[@LincolnDWard]

She didn't say "I'm not agender;" she said "I don't [actively] _identify_ as agender," which is different. : )

[@0xCAFEF00D]

Excuse the length. It's ranty, feel free to ignore. I can't agree with the implied definition of agender here. The video starts by expressly saying she finds gender identity to not be a big deal. She's talking about magnitude and relevance. "I didn't understand why people made a big deal of gender". "Why would anyone need to point out that theyre... _a man_ or _a woman_ ". We're talking early in life for vi-heart which means, maybe an example of a woman or man on TV speaking about their gender as being important somehow. It supports the premise of the video. That she started out thinking anyone that finds these things important to be speaking in bad faith. To my ears she's said nothing about her own identity. Those words could come out of anyone's mouth until 1:19 "I don't know how anyone ever knows anything.". I can relate strongly to that and I think myself a man. It's very unclear to me what people mean being a man or woman is supposed to feel like from the inside. I have very strong feelings _that would_ be strongly associated with males. Very strong physical-protective feelings of people who are close to me is one example. When it's dark out and I'm with someone that glove slips on very easily. Things like walking around at night with another man and feeling powerful is another expression of that by contrast. You're now part of the company, you don't protect or feel protected in the same way. Even more meta things like the feeling of _needing_ to be a hero, special in action. The thing I think makes men take so many daring positions on everything. As _relatively_ innocent as mansplaining (overconfidence in knowledge) up to riding the bike down the wrong side of the road at two times the speed limit for cars, without a helmet. That is man coded externally. But none of it has any trace of being "man feelings". There's no seperation based on gender within the feelings themselves . If I cry and feel ashamed it's not because I'm feeling 'unmanly' and ashamed through that. Or that there's something inherent to sadness that feels different on a gender spectrum. I feel weak and wish I were stronger. I have trouble accepting weakness. There's the shame in it. When I have said I feel manly in the past (which is rare admittedly) it's usually a description of pride over having acquired or proven power of some sort. Lifting past your record is an example. That is how I observe women express that too. They focus on other things but it's mostly an expression of pride. If you're took her initial stance as the definition of agender as you say and identify yourself with that. Then frankly that's just pointless. You've taken an attitude on the importance of gender identity and turned it into a gender identity. How you wish to be identified or how you reflect on your identity is seperate from how important you find gender identity. Do you think vi-heart would say "I now understand better why people make a big deal about gender". She likely would. Is she now less agender? I don't think knowledge should influence that. It makes little sense. Someone who feels they're a man in a woman's body is different from someone who feels they're a woman in a woman's body. No additional information is needed to tell that. Of course, what you describe is entirely different. I'm not denying that people can't have your attitude. "I don't mind being called he/him/she/her as long as they don't assume about me." Clearly different. By contrast my issue with that would be that there's a very clear set of circumstances that are found in 'he/him'. To misgender or deny me those is to deny what I am. The assumptions are less harmful even if they're always going to be inaccurate. As you mention presumed misogyny feels terrible, same with the presumption against mens intentions that exists broadly. Some even between men. Doesn't mean I'm not sensitive to the necessity of some of that. If gender is to be anything to even identify with it has some traits. Any traits, I'm not trying to constrain anyone on that. I've given part of my perspective.

[@MawdyDev]

​@@0xCAFEF00DI have read through your comment. Reading through, I'm under the impression you wrote this before reaching 1:49 in the video, when Vi says "I don't have a gender" (which is what agender is) and then states "I'm not agender" immediately after, going on to describe everything I also went through as an agender person.

[@MawdyDev]

I meant 1:42, my bad

[@0xCAFEF00D]

@@MawdyDev Yeah, that's weird. I missed all of that. Huge embarrassing misunderstanding then. That's very clearly agender. I can't really tell how I missed it. I did watch through it twice actually. I don't remember it so I must have missed that both times somehow. Maybe I zoned out, blame the ADHD :D

[@leahlichtenstein8319]

I would wear a shirt that says 'I DO NOT UNDERSTAND YOUR MEAT NOISES"

[@kassiaactuallydraws9361]

Same

[@SisterMaryTatas]

I WANT THIS

[@ejynk]

this has been on my back burner for a few years, once i get around to getting better screenprinting equipment i'll probably make one. i'll ping you again if i do.

[@fauberthoude]

I'm trans, and there are certainly times I've asked myself "why go through all this transitioning when you can simply not?" but in the end, I just can't be happy if I don't transition, no matter how hard I try. I wish I wasn't trans every now and then, but since I am, I'm going to embrace it.

[@thomasdatoneboi405]

Thank you . Me too . I'm not alone. Neither are you❤

[@GodlessCog]

My 'gender identity' (or lack of.. I guess) is very similar to Vi's. I don't consider my gender to be a defining part of my personality so I don't care much for it, and I am able to identify with my default (which very well may be due to the fact that I have never been questioned for my gender, because I am presumably cis, with the exception of having been made fun of for being too 'manly' for a female but I embrace that in myself so whatever).

[@GodlessCog]

Yeah, I've pretty much concluded that that is the reason, but there is also my characteristic of not being considered typically feminine--but for pretty stupid reasons. For example, my some of my male friends say stuff like "I forget you're a woman" because we play video games together or because I'm not constantly talking about clothes or hair or whatever they expect women to talk about. That would be understandable if we were..oh I dunno.. 14, but I'm 18 and my friends are 19-20+.

[@TheAlebarbar]

The Sick Human Being I am with you on this, I don't disagree with being a man (although if anyone tries to put any gender roles on it that is a different matter entirely) but I am pretty sure if gender was not a thing I would not really mind?

[@Novenae_CCG]

For me, as well. In fact, with all this differentiation between biological sex, and mental gender, I'm not even sure if I am a man on the inside. Sure, I'm attracted to girls, but _girls_ can also be attracted to girls. Sure, I'm into some things that seem mostly masculine, but girls can like it just the same. I might just be a lesbian in a male body, and I'd have no idea.

[@Polygonetwo]

I like how many people in the comments are gender who-gives-a-shit. So many people who don't think it matters much yay.

[@BeinDraug]

The Sick Human Being Yup i'm in the exact same boat

[@littlefish9825]

I’ve had a similar yet completely different experience. For the longest time I thought that bc gender was a social construct it just meant that at birth they told you what gender you were and that was that and typically people just acted in the way reflected by that assigned gender. The thought that people actually felt something inside them like a compass or a sixth sense that told them what gender they felt like just was weird to me. For a while I assumed that this unfeeling of gender and complete misunderstanding of how anyone could feel that way was just being agender, the same kind of way that asexual ppl just don’t have that feeling of sexual attraction. As such I ‘identified’ as agender for a while. Apparently, however, there is a whole other dimension of gender because all of the sudden I was feeling really, really uncomfortable whenever anyone called me a ‘he’. I couldn’t justify this feeling because I didn’t understand what feelings would make sense for this to happen, and it was all just confusing. I started experimenting around with pronouns and just thinking around, and there was this strange, vague feeling towards the idea of being a girl, that wasn’t bad. So apparently I do have a gender identity. I don’t really like myself, but I could imagine myself as a girl and I hated that person less. Idk, maybe I’m misunderstanding my own feelings and downplaying the struggles of ‘real’ trans ppl. To whoever is reading this- I hope you have a fantastic day!

[@deloharupia]

I hope you were able to understand yourself better

[@instantnoob]

This was similar to my transition to identifying as a girl. I never thought I had gender dysphoria, but I also didn't know anything about gender because I was raised traditional conservative. I was just depressed. It was only when I started experimenting with feminine pronouns and started feeling alive that being called he started to bother me.

[@coderamen666]

Just like me fr

[@demonanastasiswonderland]

Dear soul, that is similar to my experience as a trans man assigned female at birth. As a young child, I just took what people called me and rolled with it, but then puberty hit and that's when things started feeling wrong. I recall vividly my distress at my body taking on physical traits that would further cause me to be viewed as a woman. That's the most telling verbal thought I had as an egg that I wasn't my assigned gender, I didn't want to grow up to be a woman, I didn't want to be a woman. When my egg finally cracked at 17 due to my most severe bottom dysphoria yet, I first identified as genderfluid. Months later I realized I never felt like any gender besides male so I started identifying as such, and not only has that identity stuck since, my friends using he/him/his pronouns and other masculine terminology on me brought euphoria. Start my sixth week of testosterone tonight and just discovered the first hairs of a mustache last night, and my voice feels strain when I try to speak in the higher parts of my range. Point is, take the path of least resistance to your level of social comfort. If ye wouldn't mind being seen as a girl, go for it. Try out the gender and pronouns with trusted friends. Conceive a trial name. And if it doesn't feel right to you, that's okay. There's nothing wrong with exploring oneself and trying out new aspects of the identity. This is your official permission slip from a so-called "real" trans person to toy with your gender. No one should have to live uncomfortably as a given gender. Do whatever makes you most comfortable, or at the very least the least uncomfortable. Also, if I recall correctly, when one of my friends came out to me about her gender-related feelings, she used the phrasing "wouldn't mind being (seen as) a girl." She started estrogen well before I started testosterone and her smile in selfies has been more genuine since she has begun living as female and transitioning. Another friend may have used that phrasing as well when he came out to me about his feelings and asked questions about my own trans experience of gender.

[@littlefish9825]

@@demonanastasiswonderland I’m not sure how much you actually care, but my problems kind of started to get worse. I looked at how I was feeling, found that I had a euphoric response to the name “Rose”, and managed to come out to my nb sibling. They told me to keep doing some introspection, because sometimes these things can be... weird. Apparently that was good advice because just days afterwards, I tried to do the same introspection, and there was basically none of the same euphoria with she/her pronouns. That made me kind of stressed, because I didn’t know what I was feeling, and if it turned out that I wasn’t trans, then that would mean that I really was misrepresenting them. The story doesn’t end there, though. A day or two, the feeling came back. Then it went away. I started considering the label of genderfluid. There are some websites where you can sample some pronouns. I started a calendar, keeping track of how I felt about pronouns and stuff as days went on. It was strange, “she/her” wasn’t euphoric even half the time, yet “Rose” almost always was. One day, the phrase “She is a boy” felt right for some reason. I also noticed that it didn’t seems to stabilize. Eventually I kept forgetting to do the introspection, and that led to me stopping entirely. Fast forwards a couple months, I remember about all that introspection, and that I haven’t even really tried to figure out what gender I was for months. I also knew that many trans people identify as fluid for a while, but end up stabilizing to just one gender. I was trying to keep an open mind, I did the introspection, and I couldn’t agree with myself. I couldn’t figure out what gender I was. I had let people call me “Rose” with “he/him” pronouns for so long that the name didn’t sound feminine any more. The more I thought about the subject, the more distressing it was not to be able to figure out what gender I was. It was a skill I had gotten better at, and had become a large part of who I was and how I saw myself. It felt like swimming through mental static just trying to think about it. That part hasn’t really changed. I haven’t tried again for a while, but it’s still not a comfortable feeling for me. I don’t know why it started happening, and I don’t really know to stop it and figure out my gender again without professional help. It does sound nice to feel that feeling of discovery again though. Thanks again for reading this far. Have a great day!

[@tempestdragon333]

When I was kid I genuinely thought that boys and girls grew up the same other than body parts, and the only difference was that boys cut their hair and girls didn’t. I thought sexism was ridiculous, boys being stronger, girls being prettier, girls being smarter, boys never crying, having different sports teams, only hanging out with your gender mostly, was all absurd. I got mad when I saw tutorials on how to draw male vs female bodies, because it was all the same. it When I got older I learned about hormones and how they change your body and I was genuinely surprised. I still think a lot of the expectations are ridiculous, but I wish I could just be both, or rather, neither. Because sex is a real thing, and I know that now, but gender is still something made by society and social rules. Yes, people can make as many genders as they like! Why? Because two is already too many, and I’m getting tired of it. We need to break the mold. There are 6 biological sexes, but that should only determine what our bodies look like, not our hobbies, clothes, interests, friends, lifestyle, jobs, or anything like that! All of those are specific to your personality, not your body. You should have the right to not want people to see you as either, or the other, or both, or something different. Your biological sex should not determine who you hang out with, what you like to do, who you like to do, what you like to wear, how you like to act, what you want to look, where you want to work, or anything of that nature. Because you are unique to you, despite what shape your body is. If I have to change what my body looks like so that I can be more comfortable, happy, confident, and so that people will stop putting me into boxes immediately, I will, and that is my right as a human. I do not care if being me offends someone else.

[@SunIsLost]

Yea

[@swancrunch]

but you don't really need to break anything. you literally can be whoever you are despite your gender. it's not like you can't be sewer maintenance cus you're a woman or you can't babysit cus you're a man. you can. sometimes there are hurtful stereotypes, and those should be broken (and in a lot of cases are actually illegal to maintain), but it's not like we should just abolish the concept as a whole. then we'll just invent a new pc words, like, dunno, dick-people and pussy-people, and nothing will really change.

[@CarMedicine]

(BIG TEXT) There are a few misconceptions you've said here. First off, no, gender is *not* a social construct. *There are social constructs built around gender,* which isn't the same thing. In fact, societies have been discovered which had 3 gender roles, one being nonbinary people, look it up if you didn't know, it's very cool and interesting. Anyway, where was I. Gender is basically a human brain's ("neurological") structure, in contrast with sex, which is the rest of a human body's ("anatomical") structure. Gender is a consequence that human brains aren't all identical to one another, whereas society and its roles given to gender are a consequence of human brains being social. Correlation ain't causation. Also "6 biological sexes"? I assume you meant "2 biological sexes" and even that is technically wrong. From what i remember, sex has a "bimodal distribution". If you don't understand what that means, since i can't link an image or KZbin won't post this, basically there are two places near which people typically fall, which have been called male and female. There are also the extreme cases of someone being very male or very female, as well as someone falling in the middle of the two, which is called intersex or androgynous. I'll give a couple of non-trivial sex differences as examples. Male bodies tend to have more skeletal muscle mass, and thus tend to be physically stronger, given they're doing the same amount of exercise as female bodies. Female bodies tend to store more body fat in the thighs and breasts, whereas male ones tend to store more in the belly. Next, I don't know for sure, but I bet gender also has a bimodal distribution. After all, why would genetics vary like this in most of our bodies but not in our brains? Not very logical. Thus, most people’s gender falls near two places, which are called boy/man/masculine and girl/woman/feminine, and there are extreme cases of someone being very manly or womanly, as well as the middle case, which people have called “non-binary” for some reason, even though “intergender” is right there, guys, like, come on. And as for gender differences, with which I hope I'm not just reinforcing stereotypes, I can really only think of one right now: Men, on average, tend to be slightly more aggressive and risky, whereas women, on average, tend to be slightly more protective (say, of their young) and prudent. By the way, yes, I'm speaking in animal terms, like "one's young". We're animals, former hunter-gatherers, to be precise. And just to finish explaining my conception of sex and gender, usually, for a given person, their sex and gender usually fall basically in the same place, but sometimes they differ significantly, which is why trans people exist. People whose sex and gender differ tend to feel uncomfortable with themselves, partly because of society. And what's got more right to remain unaffected by this genetic rarity: the conscious sentient brain or the unconscious non-sentient body? Well, the answer's obvious there. Anyway, yes, be yourself, don't care about what people think of you, yadda-yadda, that’s all nice, i agree with all of it. Hope you have a nice day or night, fellow internet stranger!

[@tempestdragon333]

@@CarMedicine yes, most of this is correct, but I did want to mention real quick since it’s very interesting (at least to me) that there are in fact at least 6 biologically common sexes, and while I cannot speak too much on it since I am not a doctor they are: X - Roughly 1 in 2,000 to 1 in 5,000 people (Turner’s ) XX - Most common form of female XXY - Roughly 1 in 500 to 1 in 1,000 people (Klinefelter) XY - Most common form of male XYY - Roughly 1 out of 1,000 people XXXY - Roughly 1 in 18,000 to 1 in 50,000 births Which is taken from a site of someone who is more educated than me, but I would suggest doing your own research if you wanted to. There are only two legal sexes, however. I appreciate that people here have been reasonable even if they disagree, thanks guys! Have a great day!

[@CarMedicine]

@@tempestdragon333 oh right, sexual chromosome anomalies / disorders / whatevayawannacallit exist :P

[@yam-ingtonjr7606]

i really like this community. im reading through the comments and it comforts me that people are stating their opinions and then are open to the comments that follow. people aren't judging others and they also are not throwing in curse words just to exagerate their point. im happy :)

[@theaetherpunk2145]

(*SUDDEN INFLUX OF JUDGEMENT AND H8 SPEECH*)

[@theelderscrollsfreak]

You people really think that gender "may" be biological? No, gender IS biological. Gender identity, yeah that may not be. But I just can't stand when people try to make gener some kind of mystical mental condition.

[@yam-ingtonjr7606]

Lord ofsolitude lol im confused. what is your point i think you may have responded to the wrong comment :)

[@wyattwolftown3286]

oh wow i saw this after i wrote my comment, and i was gonna cuss, but then i didnt, lucky me

[@golden456]

fuck you nobody cares

[@isaach1402]

Vihart: Just because I don't feel or understand gender doesn't mean that it isn't real or that other people are wrong/lying about their experiences. Comments: I don't understand transgender people, therefore they are wrong/lying/mentally ill.

[@sixtrash2758]

Isaac H whilst gender dysphoria is _actually_ a mental illness, I completely agree :)

[@ew6483]

The comments to this one are horrible.

[@thatsnailboi1598]

Gender Dysphoria is a mental illness And transitioning is the cure Source: Transgender friend, Genderfluid friend, and myself.

[@bluejay2768]

NAWW how is it the worst treatment?? It’s literally the only treatment, and it’s the only treatment because for the majority of trans folks it works

[@thatsnailboi1598]

@@bluejay2768 When did I say anything about transitioning being bad?

[@max_the_mantis5173]

I’m a trans man, autistic, and a D.I.D system with C-ptsd from childhood trauma. I have at least ten headmates or alters, or as they call themselves my spirits. Sexuality and gender were never straight forward for me. The emotions I felt towards such concepts as a child were mostly immense fear, shame, guilt, anger, dread, and a want to try and make ourselves appear as what others told us we were as much as humanly possible, we wanted to be the nuerotypical girl they expected us to preform as, because a big part of us genuinely believed the alternative was either death, or being abandoned. In our case and many other both lgbt and disabled people’s cases, this fear was not only true, but actually confirmed. Within under a year of coming out as a man, we were disowned by a former parent through a text. In our opinion it was directly tied to accepting our autism and gender diversity which had made us become aware of one of our parents abuse and no longer allow them to get away with it. In my case my experience of being autistic and of being gender diverse, sexually diverse, and of being plural rather than singular are all interwoven and deeply similar experiences for me, they’re intersectional experiences for me. I remember when I was a child I wanted more than anything in the world to be normal to be enough. I hated myself so much that I frequently had intrusive thoughts about self harm and suicidal thoughts because I believed I was an unlovable monster and wanted to pay in blood, and I did make myself pay in blood a few times in my teens. Many of my alters used to be ‘persecuter alters’ which is when someone’s headmates harm themselves or the system, and my experience of childhood genuinely feels like how people describe demonic possession, but I was an Atheist for most of my life, and I was specifically raised an Anti Thiest. I’m neither anymore. I didn’t know I was D.I.D. I don’t feel like I was really alive until my twenties. I think getting my autism diagnosis at 20 was the moment I woke up. It was like for the first time in my life someone saw behind the mask just for a moment. Everything from before then, it just feels like a very bad nightmare. I genuinely and truly believe that the first twenty years of my life were Hell, like actually real Hell. There was no way out. But now I’m 23. And my alters no longer hurt me. I realized they were exactly the same as I was in a way, desperately alone and suffocating, drowning in despair. We helped eachother out over the course of many many many months. And now the same ‘demons’ who used to tell me to kill myself, because they saw no other way to escape our pain, now they tell me instead that they love me, that they’re proud of me, that they forgive me, and that they’re happy they get to be with me. We were seen as ‘one of the good kids’ the moment we came out of the closet we lost all of that. Our former life and everything in it, the person we were pretending to be, all of it, started to die. I will never ever regret choosing truth, and choosing not to hide. But I soon learned that battle is only the beginning. And once you find yourself the equal to your own shadows, you learn that the ones of this world are still more vicious. Choosing not to hide. Means I am constantly at risk. We get harassed and met with hatred online near weekly. Existing in public spaces without masking, is choosing to risk my health and safety every single time. I know trans people who will never have to experience what I’ve gone through. Who won’t be disowned. Who won’t be displaced, or lose literally everything in coming out. A part of me wants to believe that someday it could be that way for all of us. And the other part does not believe that is possible. Because loving a trans person, truly loving us, if you knew us before we came out, requires accepting that everything we were before was a lie, a lie that we were taught to preform to survive, and that we continued to preform for fear of what could happen to us if we stopped. I will never regret leaving that lie despite ungodly painful it has been. It is better to be hated for someone I want to be, than to hate myself, and stay stuck as someone I never wanted to be in the first place. Right now in America the suicide rate is so high for trans people because many of us do lose hope. See no other way out of a system that despises us than taking our own lives. It is SET UP to do that. It’s intentional not an accident or a coincidence. The suicide rate for autistic people and the disowning rate for them is also high. Because our inherent experience of self does not fit the world we’re born in to. And many people would rather have no child, a dead child, or throw away their child, than accept a child who is different. Who is different by their very nature and cannot help or change that.

[@spaghetto9836]

Thank you for telling your story, Max. It was spot on & really moved me. I hope every good thing comes your way!

[@TalkingWeirdStuff24]

Hey there I'm not Trans but a lot of my life experience sounds oddly similar to yours. I'll spare you most of the gruesome details but to be succinct I was taught from a young age by my own parents (both taught directly by them, and also taught by proxy in the forms of the media they exposed me to) that most of the people in the world do hate me and think I am inferior and that they are right and entitled to do so because I was born the kind of person that deserves to be hated and blamed and judged for just about everything. I'm not going to tell you the exact details because you would probably agree: sadly, so far I don't think I've found a single person who doesn't think that it is my fault and I do deserve to be hated at least a little bit. But I want to become an author; I'm working towards it. And the characters I wrote would become my solace, my only real friends really: I wouldn't call them alters or headmates, but some of them have a realness to them to the point that I could have conversations with them, and they could have conversations with each other. It was so nice for a little while, to finally have people who cared and did not hate me or blame me, and who would tell me straight out that those who hated me and blamed me were wrong to do so. I've also been taught by just about everyone that I have an incredibly easy life and don't know what real suffering is, and my Characters would also tell that that is wrong and that they are saddened by the life I have had to endure. Some of the characters who were kindest to me and felt the most real were exactly the kinds of people that I was taught in this life hated me most and were most entitled to hate me, and the fact that these characters were my friends and they were upset that people would tell me such things was also such a comfort. It felt more and more like my characters really were from an alternate dimension somehow: a dimension where people were not so ignorant and cruel, and it was nice to think that such a place existed. But then the doubt started to creep in: the cruelty of this world kept piling up and I started to believe that there was no way a better world could exist, and that my characters were simply lying to me to puff up their own egos (I've also had a lot of people in this world lie to me over and over, so I am primed to believe that everyone is lying to me all the time basically). I started to believe it, and I stopped being able to talk to my characters without thinking about how they were all being fake and all lying to me and the second I stopped talking to them they all grouped up and started talking shit about me. When I tried to talk to them anymore I couldn't picture their kind faces, all I could picture on their faces were smug, self-righteous, condescending looks and snide comments. I used to be able to imagine them talking to each other but I can't really do that anymore either: now all I see is them sitting there all smug, happily talking about how much better than me they are and aren't they so wonderful? At this point I'm also afraid to get better: I try to picture being better and talking to them again but all I see are smug, self-righteous, condescending faces as they tell me "oh that's alright, we know how YOUR KIND is: we don't expect anything better from YOUR KIND. WE would NEVER do such a thing, but we've learned to expect such behavior from inferior lifeforms like you.". I probably sound insane, and I can delete this comment if necessary, but I wanted to ask for your help if you have any advice. At this point I don't even think death will help, but your situation sounds eerily similar to mine and I see no way out and am frankly desperate. Sorry if this comment is rude somehow.

[@gristen]

​@@TalkingWeirdStuff24i think it might be worthwhile for you to do some research on dissociative identity disorder, and maybe seek a professional diagnosis if possible. i dont have it personally, but i watch a youtuber that does called dissociadid so i know a little about it thanks to their educational videos. im not a medical professional though, so take my words with a grain of salt. you may have it, or you may not have it, but i think taking the time to see if you relate to any of the symptoms of d.i.d. might help push you in the right direction

[@theresadettloff6196]

Im sorry you're struggling with this, i wish you peace and healing

[@SunIsLost]

*hug*

[@unpronouncable2442]

You are neither man nor a woman. you are math.

[@dexty112]

Unpronouncable I sexually identify as a Fibonacci spiral

[@unpronouncable2442]

idk Productions sooooo are you free this friday to go out on a date with a fractal?

[@kathybramley5609]

Unpronouncable - there's a normal distribution bell curve about the importance to us of gender! Vi plotted it, without quite doing so literally. As this video was more philosophical and verbal and experiential. Not that maths thoughts aren't an experience, or an exclusive identity, although identity it perhaps is.

[@shuatstarbucksyt5017]

Unpronouncable Y'all are hurting my brain with big words.... >~

[@dorito_the_legend1826]

Unpronouncable I'm a doge

[@julianossa3578]

You are not man you are not woman you are maths and sharpie

[@kathybramley5609]

Julian Ossa Bit limiting and/or intrusive, even while apparently meaning to be affirming, no!?

[@julianossa3578]

Kathy Bramley you dont understand vihart like I do xD

[@bearboi2951]

actually they is a triangle

[@gaymerjerry]

Not maths doodles theres a difference its ok when its doodles that happen to resemble math

[@hanumanram8105]

- Joey

[@zacwulf6987]

This was me. It took me a while to figure out I was just Gender Apathetic. This video is powerful! Mad respect

[@average-neco-arc-enjoyer]

same.

[@spaghetto9836]

Same.

[@Mr.Bob-Gray]

SAme.

[@viveleshistoires4874]

The part about “having all the privilege of being fine with keeping what I was given at birth, but also all the privilege of not feeling misgendered when someone uses the ‘wrong’ pronoun” hits so close to home.

[@EvelynNdenial]

"i dont understand your meat noises" NEEDS to be a meme

[@katesanderfer413]

+pvtblue It most likely is...

[@awwastor]

I'm trans, MtF I'd say, but I similarly find the attachment to gender quite... weird? I feel slightly more comfortable calling myself a woman than a man but honestly I don't really care that much either way. For me it's simply about dysphoria. I don't like having male features, it feels horrible, and female features feel neutral. This doesn't seem to be true for most trans people, but for me it's a very body focused experience with the main reason for transitioning being horrific pain/discomfort.

[@jamsistired]

I don’t think you are alone in that feeling, I know a bunch of people who describe it the same way, as for me I’ve kinda got that feeling with my entire body sometimes (I don’t really like being human) which is sort of how I bonded with my friends in the first place because we had some form of dysphoria in common, but it sucks and I’m glad that you feel more neutral about things now :)

[@aynDRAWS]

I am the exact opposite! I've been told multiple times that I'm not really trans because I don't experience body dysphoria. However, I definitely feel the usage of my deadname or female pronouns heavily. I don't care so much about how my body looks, mostly because it's always looked the same to me. I don't feel "euphoric" when I wear my binder-- I could take it or leave it, and I often forget to put it on entirely. For me, it's all about my name and pronouns. It's interesting how different transgender feelings present themselves

[@shamstam]

​@@aynDRAWS thank you for this insightful reply! I've never met someone with this experience and it broadens my perspective a bit more

[@Stone_Orchids]

From the way people talk about dysphoria it feels the same as mental illnesses caused by trauma. I believe the best thing to do about it is dissociate from the gender that cause it but to me it's a temporary solution, I'm against a physical transition and old trans people seem to always regret it after some decades (if they live that long...), people should feel good in their own skin without the need of any invasive treatment period. I really feel for people going through this it's a horrible experience to live, dysphoria is not something that can be treated with medicines but big pharma corps are the best on manipulating people into palliative solutions to maximize their earnings

[@jamsistired]

@@Stone_Orchids they don’t always regret it, there are so many who don’t, and they don’t have shorter lifespans because of surgery. I don’t get how you can be against surgery, like for you personally of course you can want what you want, but how can you decide that what other people should do is what you want them to do? Most of the people I know dissociate from their lives to some extent because of dysphoria and that’s not a healthy coping option, it leaves them disconnected and at a much higher risk for hurting themselves in some way. For some people surgery is the only way, it’s their choice, they have weighed the outcomes, and nobody else in the world besides them can even come close to knowing how it will turn out.

[@forshor1998]

I guess I don't understand gender at all so I'm not going to tell people what is and isn't correct. Like when someone says "I am a man" I just assume they're talking about their sex if they're male. But if someone says "I am a man" and they're female it made me start wondering "what does that even mean anyway?". At first I thought it was about stereotypes set by society making people feel like their gender is different to their sex because they don't fit the stereotypes assinged to their sex which made me shrug it off as "You're not a man, just a woman who happens to like sports and baggy T-shirts" but since then I've learnt that gender is more important to people than their likes and dislikes which has made it more confusing. I've yet to get a definitive answer on what gender even is and there clearly are some people who's gender = likes + dislikes + personality elements but not everyone with a gender identity has it for those reasons. So overall I've decided that I don't get it and that's okay, I've stopped making assumptions and just decided to treat people with a strong gender identity as normal people who should do what they like, they harm no-one by having one so it's live and let live as far as I care.

[@b.ashley9222]

forshor1998 That is a beautifully tolerant and respectful view. Just because you don't get something doesn't mean you can't respect that aspect of people.

[@lukewhite1249]

forshor1998 gender is even more closely related to reproduction and physical traits, even if the social and mental side of it is important

[@dovee1]

It's just like every sexual or gender identification which isn't the norm. They're not harming anyone, it's none of your business what they choose. Just let them be themselves, even if you don't agree - there's probably a lot of things that you do which people have strong opinions on, but don't you just want to be yourself? Me? Honestly I just want everyone to be comfortable and happy in their own skin, it's not my business or in my control to make someone change their mind about it. And I don't care that it's not. Simple.

[@ew6483]

Edric Ndirangu No

[@budderbrinejr]

@Edric Ndirangu Even when only referring to sexes that is untrue, intersex people exist. When you get into genders, it's even more untrue. You can't prescribe how many genders there are, you can only describe, and currently there are more than man and woman.

[@RedKincaid]

This is the first time I've heard someone voice how I have felt for a long time. Almost a decade later, thank you for this.

[@ButterWarrior101]

"being trans sounded like a lot of work." yup. yup it is. *seer needs to sleep*

[@amandacapsicum686]

Yup.

[@entropy7999]

@Nigward Wow a joke that says its good that nearly half of trans people attempt suicide. How original and creative. Not like its a constant struggle or anything.

[@tappatrules2639]

I know it is original and creative just like you comment

[@Skyisgoingbacktopluto]

@@entropy7999 and alot of them are because they don't get support they need.

[@entropy7999]

@@Skyisgoingbacktopluto Definitely agreed. The fact that I, a child, has to be the one to try and help friends not off themselves as their parents responded to her with essentially 'do it, bet, see what happens' is fucked. I've been lucky enough to have supportive parents, but shit why can't parents just parent their fucking kids?

[@pampm939]

when I'm playing games I use the alternate name Jeb, even though I'm a girl, and people call me dude and he and guy all the time and I don't correct them because I simply don't care, in fact in some odd way I'd prefer it even though I'm not really bigender. However I remember I was playing with someone else I forgot the username they used but I called them he, and they litterly went crazy (Caps and everything) saying how they're a girl and to not mix their gender and I was so confused as to why that was so important for them and why it mattered that I knew their gender

[@vaka4541]

It can feel very disheartening when you are misgendered. I don't think you should go batshit crazy over it though. You can correct people in a kind manner. If that doesn't work and they don't even try to correct themselves then you don't have to be nice because they aren't being nice but how should the person know if you've never brought it up before? Why are small mistakes the end of the world? It's not like everyone is out to misgender you on purpose to make you feel shitty. Kind of a shame this person got so angry at you! I fully understand that their gender meant a lot to them but throwing a temper tantrum doesn't help anyone. Sure you could avoid all heartbreak by avoiding gendered terms completely. There are good and correct alternatives. That's pretty foolproof.

[@robboycott5424]

Then what are you? Or if you don't want to say then what was you born as?

[@1001011011010]

Yeah I don't get it either. If I woke up suddenly as a girl literally nothing would change except I'd have to learn how to deal with having the different biology.

[@EmeraldFox11]

That's me, too!! I think I prefer being called a boy online playing games. I think i am like this because people treat girls and boys differently.

[@pampm939]

+Rob Boycott I'm a girl but I don't like exactly think significantly about my gender, I don't consider myself a guy nor unidentified(?) I just don't really care either way

[@darthjegg6570]

I DO NOT UNDERSTAND YOUR MEAT NOISES

[@spectrelex3051]

Gay ™ ok good name "Gay ™ "

[@nathanarter]

Gay ™ a

[@SoffiCitrus]

9 YOU ARE RIGHT, MY HUMAN FRIEND.

[@jameswise9171]

(Meat noises)

[@alexoverton152]

MOOD

[@plutototoh]

2:40 I appreciate that you own and talk about having this, and even naming it as a fallacy. Probably the most difficult people to talk to and trust with things like gender, sexuality, and even ethnicity and culture are those that hold this belief that they're secretly "right" and everyone would agree with them "if only they could". Too many people do not realize that there are some things in life that are genuinely different and it doesn't make anyone wrong to experience life through these different lenses. It's troubling to me when I talk about my experiences as a trans person with someone who just doesn't have a gender, and they push their belief that "all gender is fake, no one has that experience, it's only about what body parts you have" despite all evidence to the contrary. Plenty of people just do not have a gender, or experience womanhood and manhood through a tertiary lense, and that's fine. But it's not everybody's life that is lived that way.

[@strangejune]

Watching this in 2023, for the first time I should mention, was a weird experience. I used to have this same "experience" with gender. I've written quotes around "experience" because I have only recently come to the understanding of just how much socializing I have missed out on. I was socially isolated for a long time, so having (relatively) recently tried to be more social, I realized that an understanding of my own gender started coming with it. A lot of things about myself that I didn't get started to make sense. And, that has been both an enlightening and scary experience.

[@daniel4647]

Was it worth it, trying to be social? I tried a couple of times, didn't care for it at all, but I often wonder if things could have been different if I stuck with it. Do you sort of have to define yourself as an individual when in a group? Sort of pick and chose between identity traits, or do you think it's possible to function in a social setting without a defined identity?

[@strangejune]

@@daniel4647 Wow, this comment feels so distant now! I'll be honest and tell you that what I was feeling at that time that I was so isolated was pretty severe gender dysphoria, but when I wrote this comment I wasn't able to put it to words. Reading it again, it's funny that I said I tried to be more social and then began to understand my gender, because while both of those things did happen, looking back it was definitely in the opposite order. Understanding my gender gave me the confidence to be social and to express myself more honestly. So, I might not be able to understand or answer your question - it was very much worth it for me - but that's not a very satisfying response I think, so I'll try anyway. You don't necessarily have to "define" yourself, like in contrast. I think the distinction between "me" and "the group" isn't very useful here, it's much better to focus on what others mean to you than to worry about who/what you are to them. It's certainly more healthy to do it that way. I think you don't have to be a social butterfly exactly, but human connection is very important, and you should be at least a little social. I would start by considering what you didn't enjoy when you tried to socialize before, which might not be easy and could take a long time... like in the ballpark of twenty years. Ask me how I know! If you can get a better understanding of what you don't like about socializing, it can help you find the things you do like about it. I hope this wasn't too much rambling.

[@spaghetto9836]

​@@daniel4647Wow... I love this question more than you know. For me it's not impossible, simply bc my version of not having a gender identity entails being open to "play" with it. So I partially engage with a gendered society, just not in the way it'd expect me to all the time. Sometimes I'm in a slightly masculine state amongst girl friends & vice-versa; sometimes I'm in a masc state around guy friends & vice-versa. It's something I've learned to tap into to notice; nothing causes it except being in a social setting. Whenever I'm alone, I don't feel like I'm anything at all. Your gender or lack thereof is only one aspect of who you are. You can connect with others through so much more, even though we live in a highly gendered & sexualized world. Just be lowkey yourself, and people who are compatible will gravitate towards you (not counting manipulative people).

[@zack42187]

I am the opposite of ***** and my gender identity is a strong part of my sense of self. I enjoy and relish in the promotion of my masculinity, while accepting and loving the feminine aspects of myself as a counterpart to my maleness. Gender is the product of biology exacerbated by immense cultural inertia and people who don't fit within this product are forced to sometimes use the definitions that they see in culture to find comfort in their identities. Thus we are given the 'typical' trans male and the trans female. People sometimes mock their transformations as artificial and contrived, but the POWER of cultural influence is omnipresent and we must understand this. Culture and the environments we have created as humans hold as much power as the biology we are born with. Great Video Vi. :)

[@zack42187]

zack42187 and yes, Belgian beer is fantastic.

[@boumbh]

zack42187 I can't believe you like beer too. We should hang out.

[@billl605]

boumbh mmmm beeer

[@hunrehunre]

zack42187 "Gender is the product of biology exacerbated by immense cultural inertia and people who don't fit within this product are forced to sometimes use the definitions that they see in culture to find comfort in their identities." No my friend. Trans people are not trans because we want a different label or different words to describe us. Many of us are totally fine with the words used to describe us, because many of us are like Vi in that we don't identify strongly with any gendered words or labels or attributes. We transition because we have gender dysphoria, which means we are disconnected from our sex assigned to us at birth which causes a massive amount of distress. Like for me, if I were simply masculine, I would be totally fine being a butch lesbian, in fact I'd probably be a lot happier that way. But since I have gender dysphoria, I don't have that option. I have to transition for the sake of my own mental health. I hope that makes sense.

[@boumbh]

Henry Cline Is gender dysphoria a disorder? It would seem easier not to care. Is it something like having a phantom limb? I can't find any rational reason for it. (That’s not something bad, a lots of beautiful things have no reason.)

[@sploopst6868]

yeah I never really got the whole gender thing either. for example, I used to do a paper round, and a really sweet old couple once said something (can't remember entirely what) but basically they thought I was a girl. I went along with it as I was just really saying bye and stuff, but when I told my friends the next day I was like "yeah they mistook me for a girl" but, was that entirely wrong? I don't identify with 'manliness' or 'masculinity' however you choose to define those words, I just like stuff and don't like other stuff. and if I had a boyfriend, there'd be no 'woman' or 'man' roles in our relationship, just 'person' and 'person'. honestly, it's not something I worried about or even considered until that awkward encounter, but I'm glad I did. kinda helped me embrace the fact that, at the root of it all, we're just globs of slowly decaying matter who choose to label the world around them according to their preferences and perception.

[@quazary9172]

Same. I just like what I like and dress how I dress. Doesn't really matter to me, and it all sounds like alot of work, and I'm not into doing any exercise. I still wonder how it feels to be attached to a certain gender though. It really makes me feel for the people who struggle with issues like gender identity and I support them fully. Let's hope that we will all one day live in a world where people can be who they want to be as long as they aren't killers, cus in that case we should not let them be who they are so they won't kill anyone cus that would be bad. Now, it is 12:00 and I'm tired and starting to ramble, so let's hope I wont regret this comment in the morning. Goodbye.

[@tomo4977]

+Ethan Carpenter as long as there's developed races, some will never be accepted as who they are :| it's an unfortunate side-effect of being conscious.

[@quazary9172]

+Katie Thompson Yelp, that's life, I guess.

[@cathuman5463]

I love how that turned existential real quick

[@QuelendUnderground]

I remember being super upset as a child about being told what i liked because i was a girl, as if i automatically liked something simply for the gender i was born as. growing up where i was the only girl in a school full of guys, it didn't matter to me until suddenly i wasn't able to play along because they didn't want a girl to play imaginary shooter or monsters and knights or whatever the hell they had going on, but when we went inside, it didn't matter because i played all the tank games and racingcar games and everything else in between on our small laptops given by the school. My mom wanted me in dresses and wanted me to wear nail gloss or fake jewlery or some other crap, but since i was autistic i never wanted any of it because the chemicals smelt weird and the dresses didn't feel comfortable. I was never really upset with my gender, i've always just mostly been upset at the gender construct that people decide is how someone born with either is supposed to be like. As i've grown older, i've discovered things and delved into the 'what-ifs' and still, i am content with what I was born as, but i also enjoy the idea of being any of the other ones, even having none. I found out that means i'm "genderfluid", and although i don't care much for the pronoun it's the words that are confusing. I am not a woman nor a man i'm just a person who doesn't get all the weird gendering bullshit that society wants out of me. I'm just me

[@HannahTarr]

Wait, this is a thing?? You can just not do gender? This makes me so incredibly happy you don't even know thank you thank you thank you thank you a million times over

[@jisuahn6552]

Hannah T yep! some people just reject gender as a whole and like to go unlabeled. this is kind of impractical in our unnecessarily heavily gendered society, but it's totally a thing! :)

[@ikendusnietjij2]

Hannah T "Wait, this is a thing?? You can just not do gender?" The way you put it here seems to be not quite the way vihart said it. She said she doesn't care about it. There are people who genuinely with much care way they are no gender and they can just do so, because freedom! (I guess). The ability to do something (because freedom) is not the same as expecting everyone to play along, but that's a different matter. Jisu Ahn "impractical in our unnecessarily heavily gendered society" Genders have a function and so do heavy genders. Personally I do take offense at how much our society cares about the genders of others. But that might just be me not caring much about it. I don't care for me following gender norms, nor about others following gender norms. The only issue seems to be from people who care about other people following or not following gender norms. And it seems like these people are on all sides of the horseshoe. None of the trans, queer (etc) people I've met or spoken to seemed to mind that there's (only 2 different) figures on the toilets and personally I don't care who I'll meet in the toilets, as long as they won't bother me. The policy of when making new toilets include gender-neutral ones seems like a decent plan to me, but actively changing all already existing toilets seems to me like it would be too much work. All in all, from what I've experienced in my time, the amount that our society is heavily gendered hasn't caused any problems.

[@Anakaraya]

Hannah T Yes you can! In fact one gender identity is 'agender' which just means a lack of gender!

[@gormm1709]

Hannah T i think you can refuse to do man/woman but refusing to do male/female gets trickier. it's biology. you were born with a specific thing and others want to make a big deal about it. because it's part of your physical appearance, outsiders get to do the labeling.

[@ikendusnietjij2]

Gorm m "you were born with a specific thing and others want to make a big deal about it" Most likely, yes. There are hermaphrodites though, while extremely rare,

[@jabelltulsa]

All of this gender discussion, cis, trans, etc ........ I can't contribute anything. I just love Vi. She's so fucking awesome.

[@kathrynrivera808]

Crystal Walker How the flying fuck is cis an offensive term? It literally means "not trans". If you're trans, you're not cis, and if you're cis, you're not trans. How is that offensive?

[@TheSoundOfPiousMeows]

Crystal Walker ??? Cis people aren't murdered for being cis though. Trans people are being murdered for being trans.

[@TheSoundOfPiousMeows]

I'm not being mean. I used to identify as cis. It just means not trans. It's not offensive. It's not MEANT to be offensive. Like, I understand that the internet is a difficult medium, and that it can be hard to read tones and such, but I'm not typing with any sort of malicious intent. I'm being nice.

[@TheSoundOfPiousMeows]

Even at the "gay capital" you're still not a minority.... (also trans people usually do have genders, so I don't understand your use of the word "gendered" to describe the opposite of trans....) I'm sorry that you experience prejudice, but that doesn't make cis an offensive term, and while yes, cis people can be victims to violence, it's typically not about their gender identity....

[@nopeyoudontneedthat3678]

Crystal Walker Leaving aside the whole minority/majority thing (because frankly I agree that being in the minority, or even being persecuted by the majority, doesn't necessarily mean people can/should be nasty to people who have never personally caused them any harm), the term really just doesn't mean/come from where you think it does. It actually comes from Latin (as does trans) and literally just means "on the same side" (while trans means "on the opposite side"). I actually first encountered both terms in organic chemistry, where "trans fats" are the ones with kind of Z-shaped molecules, and "cis fats" are U-shaped. It may well be that the people you dealt with were using it in a mocking way, and I would tend to think that "cissy" is mildly offensive, but "cis" itself is no more inherently offensive than "trans" is.

[@vampiressrina]

I had a similar experience - I only realised gender existed when I found out transgender people existed. That made me realise that people can actually *feel* gender - that it wasn't something used to describe certain biological arrangements but otherwise had no meaning, that it was a real thing that people felt and had investment in. That it mattered to people, cis and trans alike. This, combined with studying biology and hey turns out the sex binary is kinda full of holes too, has led me to the conclusion that really we need to stop labeling babies. Something that doctors should definitely stop doing is performing surgery on the genitals of intersex babies because what the *hell*. After reading up on things and talking to people and all that, I think for me I like the terms 'nonbinary' and 'genderqueer' the most. It reflects my feelings of 'I don't really feel part of what people are talking about'.

[@vampiressrina]

***** You seem cranky. Do you need a nap?

[@TheLadysAtelier]

+Megan Markel What you describe is "sex", like "Your sex is female/male", but gender is what you identify yourself as.

[@vampiressrina]

Ok so first off, if you're going to start getting into technicalities and definitions instead of thinking about your preconceptions with critical analysis - you used the wrong 'its'. 'Its' is the possessive, 'it's' is short for 'it is'. Second: let's go to dictionary definitions. sex noun 1. either the male or female division of a species, especially as differentiated with reference to the reproductive functions. 2. the sum of the structural and functional differences by which the male and female are distinguished, or the phenomena or behavior dependent on these differences. gender 1. either the male or female division of a species, especially as differentiated by social and cultural roles and behavior: the feminine gender. 2. a similar category of human beings that is outside the male/female binary classification and is based on the individual's personal awareness or identity. See also third gender. Now, take note: sex is defined by biology, gender is defined by social and cultural norms. Sex is a biological theoretical construct, gender is a social construct. Now, personally, I have studied biomedicine and know a lot of things about gender and feminist theory, so *I* know that this is the baby step starting block to figuring this stuff out. Sex is much more complicated than dicks and vaginas and chromosomes, and gender is a complicated social construct and varies significantly between cultures, and just because western European/American culture is the most dominant doesn't mean it's the only one, or the most 'right'. And I *still* don't claim to know everything about either because turns out, science, both biological and social, is fucking complicated. But, this is the very basics of understanding the difference between sex and gender, and why the gender binary isn't the be-all end-all of possible expression.

[@TheAkashicTraveller]

"Well I think gender means biological sex so I'm going to take your argument as if you meant that too even though you just said that you didn't." SIGH.

[@haz7072]

Marina Filly "sex is more complicated than dicks and vaginas and chromosomes" then tell me miss, if a baby with male genitalia is born, how in the world is that baby's BIOLOGICAL sex going to be female. explain.

[@kittalinequeen8281]

I can't believe i just now got recommended this video. It perfectly describes my thoughts and feelings, for the most part, in ways that I haven't been able to put into words. Simply "not identifying" and just going with whatever label people thought I was because it was easy is exactly what I've been doing nearly all my life. Thank you, Vi, for making this video

[@SunIsLost]

*SAME!*

[@christinejoynanola8756]

4 hours away before our finals, and here I am, watching Vi Hart videos. I only have studied for one subject, but I trust ME that I CAN pass.

[@pedroocm]

I trust you, now go get 'em

[@DTBIMMERS]

Christine Joy Nanola how did you go

[@christinejoynanola8756]

passed them all :D and i have one subject with only 3 mistakes.

[@pedroocm]

Great moves, proud of you, keep it up

[@CreamedCurry]

Christine Joy Nanola i bet you failed

[@RPIXELN]

When i first watched this i didn't understand... Now coming back full egg-cracked non binary i feel so thankful for you, Hart.

[@owendubs]

I wonder how I would've reacted to this 8 years ago. Back then I was like: "Do whatever you want, it's not hurting anybody. Just don't expect me to mind read and be some instant polyglot for pronouns and Tumblr jargon." Nowadays I've really realized how much I barely let myself think about what I am. Was it because it was uninteresting, or uncomfortable? Both? I think it was both. For the longest time I'd just say "I'm a person." and just end it at that. Then I started dating people and it really became apparent that I was always filling the female role. I remembered being really frustrated that I couldn't just sit around and look good until someone would come to me, that I'd have to go around introducing myself to people to have a sliver of a chance. I really liked the idea of being a mysterious kid when I was little, having a captivating aura that would make people come to me. I started growing a lot of leg hair in middle-school and I really disliked that to the point where I vowed to never wear shorts as long as I'd live. I always wore jeans and never changed into my P.E. clothes so I pretty much flunked that class despite doing all the exercises. At some point I started having these weird daydreams of waking up with the body of a girl, having to explain to everyone that I was the same person. I just thought that was a sign I was a little gay, so I came out as bi to some of my friends to test the waters. Not to say I wasn't bi to begin with, but I definitely wasn't just bi in retrospect... (Aside - Can there be a sexuality that literally just means: "Consenting adults genetically descended from a Homo Heidelbergensis ancestor somewhere in the chain." ? That would be nice.) So... I started calling myself effeminate. An effeminate person, or something like that. I like the splendor of being seen as a chill dude, it's just casual respect that I really dig, but I'm also totally a mom friend to just about everybody that I'm close with. It's really confusing to reconcile all that at once. I haven't had much time to just... sit and think about it. Just work, and sleep, repeat.

[@Yvelluap]

> Consenting adults genetically descended from a Homo Heidelbergensis ancestor somewhere in the chain. ok so you made me skim through the wikipedia article of that species to make sure i wasnt missing something. is the word youre looking for pansexual/genderblind?

[@LordZurkov]

This whole video is extremely relatable. I get this vibe from genderstuff, but I am additionally privileged to be baffled by romantic and sexual attraction. Frankly, it is very alarming that basically everyone else experiences multiple driving forces central to their existence as a hooman bean that I don't feel like I can relate to in any meaningful way

[@BlackoutArtz]

BRO SAAME! I identify as aro, ace, and agender, which is just a really weird experience because gender and attraction seem to be such an integral part of so many people’s identities, while I’m just sitting here like “yeah… I don’t do that.” For the longest time, I thought everyone was just putting up an act to fit in or something, so I felt like I had to do the same… I never considered that I was just different.

[@uraniidumbra5219]

Triple A here, too! Both you and the other person who replied to you before me resonated with me a lot. I'm also an adoptee on top of all that, and autistic. I *also* don't experience having roots somewhere, or what it means to be driven by the need for social contact and nonverbal communication. Which means there are *vast* swaths of humanity who experience so much that I never will, and some days it makes me feel super disconnected from the world. The real question is, what *do* we experience? What makes up so much of our lives, since we don't have so many things that others do filling that space for us?

[@PossumsPlayDead]

​@@uraniidumbra5219​ i mean a bunch of stuff i think. I just like laying in the sun and being with people i care about. I feel like that's plenty substantial

[@uraniidumbra5219]

@@PossumsPlayDead I feel like the reverse is true, too-- that we experience *so much* that others do not.

[@pf6137]

fellow triple A battery! (I'm joking) But yeah, I've never understood any of the things I've tried to wrap my head around it all but I've decided if I don't feel it I don't feel it doesn't mean I won't act how I want to yah know? I'll give people the love I feel they deserve while also not feeling the same back just as long as they know exactly how I feel and so on and so forth. Idk I've just learned to constantly explain my thought processes and how my feelings interact especially with friends and family. I don't care for much and explaining that seems to help them so I do so I guess. That and I just act the way I've always have. I'm just me piloting a meat suit as a friend of mine states.

[@moss6945]

Ayyyy, personal opinion time. Honestly, if I was speaking to someone and they said that they prefer to be referred to with male pronouns, I would do so and be on my way. No questions, no 'but you look like a girl to me'. I do not get to decide that. Me calling them 'he' despite the fact they own a vagina will not end the world. It will not hurt anyone. It will make a person happy, and comfortable. And I truely wish more people would approach situations like this more often. There's a boy in the grade above me who was born female. I refer to him as a boy because he asked me to, and politely at that. I don't care what his birth certificate says. If he wants me to call him Keenan instead of Kelly I will. I apologize every time I accidentally call him a 'her' because I know he doesn't like it. I get after people for calling him 'it' because he is not an object. He is a person. If you prefer it/ them/they pronouns, I will use them. I just really feel that people should be able to choose these things, same as they get to choose the clothes they wear and the food they eat. This turned into a wall of text real fuckin quick.

[@tomarchelis6072]

Hound of Shadow I just want to let you know that you're a wonderful person. Thanks for respecting people. :) I'm currently researching gender videos because I don't feel like I completely identify with the sex I was born as, so this comment made my day. :) Thanks again for being awesome. :)

[@sycoraxrock]

Yeah - I've always thought that's a good way for non-trans/non-genderqueer/non-whatever people to look at it: it's simple politeness. Your opinion about how someone else should express themselves doesn't matter (unless that person is expressing themselves by actively hurting you, themselves, or others. Or if they're moving furniture in the middle of the night and you live in the apartment below them, because DAMMIT Scott... what was I saying? Oh right.) It *blows my mind* that there are people out there who can't muster the *small* amount of empathy, or the *tiny* amount of "live and let live"-ness, that it takes to - ya know - just sort of be okay with whatever pronouns other people want to use, because what's it to ya?

[@RQLAJI2]

it is a real pronoun for humans 8ut yeah!

[@moss6945]

pastelle I know. I know some people prefer to be called it, but I feel really uncomfortable doing so. 'It' has always been a title for objects to me, and calling a human 'it' just feels very wrong and degrading.

[@bbobro7031]

Hound of Shadow "owns a vagina" XD

[@xLTxFire]

So hold up; Let me make sure I'm getting this straight: So what you're telling me is that what I've believed my entire life isn't true, And that somewhere, some place in this crazy massive world There actually exists: Beer that doesn't taste like complete ass?!

[@BrightyLighty_]

Belgium, supposedly.

[@finnberuldsen4798]

I like this, but i want more math.

[@chasestein6984]

You want more meth, jk JK

[@tm0446]

"Beggars cannot be choosers."

[@Dusk_Shade]

TM04 Unless they are bazookas.

[@ErikMm5]

I really like math, but I want more this

[@philipfan1]

Finn Beruldsen Yeah!

[@nobody5333]

FINALLY! Someone who sees gender like I do. “Yeah it’s a real thing, but I don’t care to learn much about it. Just say what pronouns you use so I’m not being rude.” “I legitimately do not care what pronouns you use for me, as long as I know you’re referring to me I’m fine.”

[@maluca-jq2wd]

this is the cool side of KZbin

[@graup1309]

No, the cool side of KZbin are those weird videos you watch at 2am after sitting in front of your Laptop for an entire weekend. Those videos which you have no idea of how to get there and which won't you ever find intentionally. But this is pretty close.

[@hibahyusuf6282]

+Graup that seemed pretty specific....

[@graup1309]

HibahWazHere I don't know, what you're talking about. Anyways: did you know that there is a (very badly animated) video with unicorns fighting each other with machine guns?

[@hibahyusuf6282]

+Graup YAS one of my fave 2am vids and there's always crazy frog and pink fluffy unicorns dancing on rainbows and the Phil is not on fires u will fall into a void of eight episodes of awesomeness.....wowo OK I'll stop talking now.

[@noseyfoil5555]

Graup please please please link me to that

[@milokiss8276]

if someone wants to be called a specific thing, i will call them that. end. the only thing it means to me is that i dont want to be rude and call them something else. all it means is that they want something easily suppliable so eh, might as well. (I don't get it either)

[@jadnf]

your gender is math good day

[@Pineapple-hx9ty]

i agree

[@bamboozledan]

No my gender is English. I'm so sorry ;)

[@KilgoreTroutAsf]

I was always suspicious of the huge "pressure to be a REAL man" me and my friends were subjected to from a hundred different sources when we grew up. The lady protests too much, me thought. To me, gender would have been a total non-issue if there woudnt have been so many people ready to call me and others names when we were not showing enough dominance, aggression or other "manly" behaviours in our teens. I am glad this macho / gay panic shit is dying a silent death in the younger generations.

[@eyescreamcake]

Is it, though? Instead of the traditional view of "change your gender to match your sex", we now have "change your sex to match your gender" and people are encouraging each other to get drastic surgeries to "correct" themselves. I don't understand either perspective and feel like we should just get rid of gender and sexist stereotypes and accept people for who they are, and encourage them to accept themselves the way they are, but then people act like that makes me a bigot. I'm so confused by society. :(

[@Casocki]

@@eyescreamcake Gender isn't something that can be changed at will, and part of accepting someone as they are is accepting that there is a mismatch between gender and sex that causes distress. Trans people that get surgeries do so because they have bodily autonomy and it leads to them living much happier lives. Trans people can also be gender nonconforming or opt not to have surgery, which means that they are content to be their gender and have a body/gender expression that doesn't outwardly match. I propose that this means trans people still exist in the absence of a need to conform. I will agree that dysphoria may sometimes be exacerbated by social stereotypes. On the other hand, some trans people aren't dysphoric at all. I understand it can be confusing, but here: trust people when they say they know who they are and know what they need

[@eyescreamcake]

@@Casocki They wouldn't feel distress if it weren't for the culture they live in telling them that they "have a mismatch between gender and sex" and not accepting them the way they are, causing them to not accept themselves the way they are.

[@Casocki]

@@eyescreamcake I'll summarize what another comment talked about: there's social dysphoria, and body dysphoria. Social dysphoria concerns being distressed by traits that your society assigns to a gender, such as gesticulation or pronouns in a given language. Body dysphoria is being distressed by one's body, especially sex characteristics. Eliminating society may eliminate social dysphoria, but not only is that not realistic, but body dysphoria remains regardless. Take away words in this hypothetical society-free situation and trans people would still know there is a body-mind incongruence, and many will still have body dysphoria. In any case, society is very much real and very much impacts everyone in it, so it follows that problems like social dysphoria caused by society are also real and have real impact and can't be dismissed.

[@eyescreamcake]

@@Casocki How does "eliminating society" follow from what I said? I said "society should accept people the way they are". And "body dysphoria" would be in the same category as "body integrity dysphoria", right? It's generally considered unethical to remove a limb because someone feels like they want it removed, so why doesn't the same apply to removing breasts or genitals to attain a superficial appearance of something else?

[@danny-yz9wh]

trans people dont transition for labels. its related to dysphoria & feeling comfortable

[@diamondashandthecrazyadven8902]

Yeah I'm not transitioning to a gender queer because I want to use they they pronouns (I mean I do but there are different reasons) I'm transitioning because I was unhappy with my body and the way I was born

[@kaydenk4111]

ik i'm late to your comment but vi literally said that. she just didn't say straight up the word "dysphoria" tho. you're right, but she already mentioned that

[@vmp916]

I think it would be difficult to make broad strokes about people, especially those of such a spectrum as genderqueer. I have seen someone “transition” to gender queer just by thinking about themselves differently. But really it wasn’t different. It’s just that things made more sense with a different label.

[@diamondashandthecrazyadven8902]

@@vmp916 yeah its kind of hard to transition to gender queer or gender fluid.

[@mx.moobloom]

danyuhhl thank you so much. We dod it to feel good in our skin, not to say, "oh, I'm a woman" or "oh I am non-binary." We do it to calm our gender dysphoria.

[@arrowwood]

I genuinely thought this would make me angry. But it didn't! It really helped me, actually. I feel more or less the same. I don't see why gender is such an important part of society, and I've chosen to go by neutral pronouns, since I don't feel like I'm picking a gender. I just... _Am_ Anyway, thanks Vi, for all of everything on your channel, from eggs, to maths, to this. ♥️

[@thetechnovoid]

wait there was a video on eggs? i remember mashed potatoes and caserole but since when was there an egg video

[@lunarl1ly]

I thought this way until I realised I was trans; I used to be annoyed when people would bring up their gender and especially trans people talking about how they are not the gender they were assigned at birth. I believe this is rooted in envy and how I had wished to be a women all my life but came to the conclusion that I would never be one because I can’t change how I was born, this conclusion leading me to be kinda transphobic. Of course, now I realise I’m trans, I can realise that I was just jealous of trans people; I thought “Why can they be a woman when I can’t” and other such thoughts

[@motionwaltz]

hey vihart! i know this video is super old, but i wanted to say thank you for talking about this. it took me forever to come out to my best friend from high school, but now that she knows and we’re all cool she’s learned that a lot of our other friends and mutual heroes (such as yourself) were lgbt, and she’s now more comfortable with and accepting of our community

[@Blewlongmun]

I was embarrassingly in the “you’re a man or a women” camp till around 15-16. I genuinely had a moment of reflection and have spent the next few realizing just how much expression I’ve regressed. Painted my nails for the first time since I was 4 and had an epiphany, I don’t like the word handsome I like the word pretty. The real problem is this is treated like some personal secret you need to discover, it’s crazy that we “can’t” educate children on the options they have before possible greater complications.

[@Dixio]

Oh wow, you managed to articulate what I couldn't. This is exactly how I feel! Thanks for the video!! Although I guess I'm not entirely convinced that the average person feels strongly about their gender, I'm sure the ones that talk about it _do_ , and I don't want to overlook or dismiss that.

[@sockatoo_]

this is exactly how i feel. and i've never, ever seen or heard someone say it aloud. i tried out tons of different words to try and see what fit when it came to my nonexistent gender (nonbinary, agender, genderqueer, genderfluid, and many more). i settled on telling people i'm agender because i'm fine with any pronouns at all. it's always been the easiest way to convey how i feel, or rather, don't feel, about gender. *"i don't have it. i don't identify with any genderqueer identities; i simply don't identify."* is something i've needed to put into words for years now. i feel so much better about myself. ever since i was a wee little kindergartner i DESPISED the idea of people looking at me and thinking "girl". and i never experienced any dysphoria, nor did i ever feel like i was somewhere in-between, or out-between. i just didn't feel it at all. and i hated the fact that almost everyone thought that i did, the fact that nearly everyone saw me as something i quite literally just wasn't. and aren't. parts of identity can be expressed in so, so many ways, like how there are so many ways one can express their interest in fashion, for example. some people love dresses, some love t-shirts, and some just put on whatever's convenient and comfy for them. like gender. some people like being called a man, some a woman, some prefer other terms. and some people just... be whatever's convenient and comfortable for them. and it's all perfectly okay. seriously, thank you, vihart. i know i'm nearly a decade late to this video but i have to put this somewhere because it's just so perfect. (p.s. i've been thinking about choosing a different name to be called that's a bit more androgynous, but i keep remembering that because gender doesn't exist to me, any name could be androgynous. it's a neat concept.)

[@nobody5333]

“What’s your gender?” “Huh?” “You know…What’s in your pants?” “My genitals, typically” “Well what are they?” “I hardly think that’s appropriate to talk about.”

[@ek0dev]

"typically" I love the implication that sometimes they're just not there lol

[@LEEBLISSY]

every so often i go back and watch this video and feel good and validated that someone feels the same way about their gender as i do. its actually because of this video that i realized i dont really feel any sort of gender, and even though ive opted to use the agender label as a place holder, its really just that and i dont really use it as a description, more of a reminder that people are really, really different from myself.

[@cathleenhale7298]

Hello, Vi. I'm fairly new to your channel, but I wanted to let you know that your video "On Gender" really resonated with me. I actually had a conversation about this exact topic fairly recently. And I feel like you took the words right out of my mouth. I realize I'm a bit old to be saying I haven't thought about these things much until recently, but it's true. For me, gender has never been a part of how I identify myself...so much so that it never really occurred to me to even think about it until the past couple of years. In fact, I still don't feel any attachment to my gender. All my life, I've checked the box next to my birth sex/gender without a second thought. But not because it really meant anything to me in and of itself. It was simply another category I fell into based on social/medical constructions, and that was that. Recently, though, I've come to realize that my way of thinking is...unusual. I never understood how much "being a man/woman" matters to others, because it never mattered to me. To be honest, I'm still a bit unsure about how I feel about it all. I don't consider myself agender or asexual or cisgender or queer at all. To me, those are just more words that people like to use to place themselves in neat, orderly boxes...boxes that don't personally matter enough to me for me to bother trying to identify by any of it. And I think what I'm currently struggling with has a lot to do with the fact that I'm still viewing other people through my own personal lens. I often feel that people put too much weight in their gender/sex. That gender/sex shouldn't be something that a person identifies their worth by. But then, as I said, I also realize this is an extremely narrow point of view. Just because I feel this way doesn't mean other people do. And I should be (and am) sympathetic to their struggles. Anyways, i just wanted to say that your video touched a chord with me. I'm glad you chose to share your thoughts with the world. It gave me the chance to see I'm not the only one who has had such thoughts. :)

[@NoriMori1992]

I'm glad I finally watched this. In one of my stories, I've written a genderless character who happens to be exactly like you: He lacks a gender identity; he doesn't care what people call him or what gender people identify him as; he doesn't understand the idea of gender; and he doesn't understand the basis of transgenderism, gender dysphoria, or gender identity. In the latter regard, he starts out very similar to the way you were as a teenager, thinking that trans people must be disingenuous or perhaps even crazy; or else that there must be something wrong with _him_ - because otherwise, surely _someone_ would be able to prove that any of it's real and explain why it makes sense. I didn't set out to make him see transgenderism this way; it just seemed to me a natural result of his not understanding what gender identity even is. This aspect of his character is something I have often struggled with, and argued with myself over, because I thought it might somehow be wrong, shabby, or distasteful to portray a genderqueer character as not understanding transgenderism. Watching this video, and knowing now that such a phenomenon can actually occur, makes me feel a lot better about portraying him this way. (For the record, like you, over time he comes to understand that it genuinely is an important issue to many people, and concludes that there must be a legitimate basis for it, despite the fact that he still doesn't understand it, and becomes content with not understanding it but accepting it anyway.)

[@strangejune]

Digging up an old comment, but people like that absolutely do exist, no need to feel bad. I used to be one of them.

[@BreadcatLuna]

"I do not understand your meat noises but I trust they mean something in human-speak" is actually a super cute sentence I love it

[@aa4a-a4]

I really liked it too. Its a good way to see things

[@Chlorate299]

Tardigrade Princess is a good band name

[@danieltaber4924]

A new Vihart vid? Huzzah!

[@brandonhall6084]

I think the most important thing to take away from the whole video is that the world can be quite different from how we perceive it. I'm so tired of people saying "I can't even imagine doing something like that" or "How could someone even think that way?" Just because you can't wrap your head around a certain concept or you can't understand where someone else is coming from doesn't make you right. This should be obvious but I'll say it anyway: There are people out there who perceive the world differently than you. Get over it. p.s. Great video Vi.

[@SolftLuna123456789]

I'm so happy that I found this video, I've been feeling the same way recently and when I discussed it with other people I just felt like I was weird, and know I feel like someone understands me, so thank you vi!

[@epicman13ful]

I forgot I was even subbed to you.

[@Wardog11111]

Anduin Wrynn whoops, mistakes were made.

[@epicman13ful]

Jacob Nowakowski Thank You

[@eachness]

***** The light shall burn you!

[@jeremiestern]

Thank you very very very much for this video. I'm the stupid teenager you're talking about, that's me, although I have lots of friends who really identify to a gender and respect them wholly, I've always wondered why, if we had to get rid of gender stereotypes, we shouldn't get rid of the idea of gender as a whole, because I just didn't make sense to me. But now thanks to you I just changed my mind and accepted the otherness of others. So yeah thanks😊

[@AminalCreacher]

im that same way. i call myself "genderless," because, while it seems initially to have the same meaning as "agender," for whatever reason people seem to have a preconceived notion of what agender people must want for themselves (to appear androgynous, to go through a certain form of medical transition,) which just does not align with what I actually wanted (to be left alone.) hearing me call myself "genderless," i think, baffles people just enough to not try imposing their expectations on me. kinda knocks them off their feet, yknow? stay back!

[@kaznjenik111]

you wanna feel special huh? 😂😂😂

[@AminalCreacher]

@@kaznjenik111 hm?

[@snowglobe4784]

​@@kaznjenik111 Naravno da je neko sa balkana ko govori ovakve gluposti

[@zyansheep]

@@kaznjenik111 don't we all!

[@sarareyann]

I feel similar to you, Vi. To me, my gender has never been more than just an experience. Womanhood was only the experiences of being born and raised in this society with XX chromosomes. Getting your first period, for example. Other things, like personality traits, hobbies, clothing style etc. have never ever been related to gender for me. That's why I could never understand transgenderism when I was younger, cause I wondered how could you possibly know that you are the opposite gender when you have never experienced what it's like to be the opposite gender? It didn't help when transpeople said that they felt/acted/thought like the opposite gender. Because, like I said, personality traits and style was never related to gender at all for me. Now that I'm older, I've come to the realization that not everyone is like me, and that I'm probably what people call agender, even though I don't care much for what gender I am, and actually would prefer to just not identify at all.

[@josefanon8504]

Thanks. I can relate to a lot to your words. I'm a man. And that's pretty convenient as I like girls. Apart from that I never thought much of it. Only now that my best friend is going to transition to be a woman, I got to think and research a lot more about this. And I think I understand now. I figured I like being a man, but to a far lesser degree than most others I know. I'm kinda glad I appreciate it now.

[@msmarigold]

This is awesome. I am using this for an emotional intelligence lesson with my 7th graders next school year. Thank you!

[@prestonfunk8161]

Do not do that none of them care

[@Speed001]

I am using this for an emotional intelligence lesson with myself now.

[@Evo-B.]

@@prestonfunk8161 …I’m a 7th grader.

[@danniuwu8628]

@@prestonfunk8161 fun fact: yeah some do. And who cares if they dont care? Its good to know anyways! And its helpful for the kids who do care!

[@isaacisis5876]

At birth I was assigned the role of a female because of my *ahem* lower areas, but I would be fine either gender. I feel that if I were a male it wouldn't really take away from my personality. I'd still be the same person I've always been just with different parts. I have no problems with people that are transgender, gay, ect. and I don't understand why some people say gender defines who you are as a person. Yes it does play some part in who you are as a person, but not you fully. Your personality depends on the way you behave, and treat others. If I were a male I still would treat people the way I do now. My personality wouldn't change, my behavior wouldn't change. Nothing but my Apperence and genetics would really change me.

[@noahmalik]

That's the whole point. You gender refers to your sex. That's it. Only you can choose whether or not you are defined by your gender.

[@jefsti]

Nope. "Gender" is between your ears, "sex" is between your legs. One is psychological, one is physical. They're not the same. THAT's it.

[@NoNameC68]

Gay isn't a gender. And the whole "gender is what's between your ears" is a load of hogwash. I understand that some people feel like they should have different body parts. That's fine and I'm okay with plasting "transgendered" in front of "male" or "female" to highlight that kind of trait that a person has. However, that person is still male or female and to deny that is unhealthy.

[@jefsti]

NoNameC68 No one said gay was a gender, did they? :/ It's a description of sexuality (not a description of gender or of sex). As for hogwash, you're clearly the expert - because it would be *impossible* to consider someone with both biology AND psychology, and to recognise these as separate parts of one's overall identity *sarcasm*. NB. what you understand and you're okay with regarding healthy or unhealthy (your words) are not necessarily correct.

[@_blank-_]

@@jefsti "Gender" is not between your ears. It's assigned based on biology but it doesn't mean you can't be a feminine man or a masculine woman. Trans people should just stop appropriating labels and pronouns that aren't for them.

[@UnseenElement]

This video was one of the things that helped me realize I don't have a gender either. I do like the term Agender and Gendervoid tho, having an empty space where my gender would be. Its my first June since figure this all out last summer, and having this puzzle piece finally figured out has made me so happy. Thank you for being a part of my self-discovery

[@thequeenofwormpudding7715]

what about gendern't?

[@SisterMaryTatas]

I re-post this all the time. When I first saw it, it blew my mind- someone speaking EXACTLY what I thought! (I mean, except the beer thing.) Thanks again for this.

[@TheUneuro]

Waiiiiiiit a minute ! You lived in Belgium ? :D

[@Molokonk]

TheUneuro My thoughts exactly

[@lottethys6853]

Mine too!

[@Molokonk]

Lotte Thys Whoop Whoop for Belgium

[@Quinten_]

Belgium ftw

[@kevinasirvadam6302]

Belgium invented French fries

[@aridw]

I did not know the word “transgender” until I was in high school, much less “nonbinary,” so when the label “girl” didn’t seem to fit for eleven-year-old me, I just told everyone that I was the “other” option in the “select your gender” drop-down menu i saw when I created an email address.

[@AvielMenter]

Vi describes my thoughts on the matter reasonably well, but the video raises a question; why do people care about gender? What does it matter? The fact that people are willing to transition certainly indicates that some people do care about gender, but it doesn't explain why.

[@catherineditheridge9440]

***** The currently most accepted medical hypothesis is that gender dysphoria comes from cross sex development of the brain in the womb. Basically that it could be like an intersex condition.

[@AvielMenter]

Catherine Ditheridge Okay, but then what causes cisgendered people to care about gender?

[@catherineditheridge9440]

***** That could be either those same bits of the brain that give trans people a sense of conflicting gender identity giving cisgender people a sense of consistent gender identity or perhaps to do with societal gender?

[@AvielMenter]

Catherine Ditheridge Sure, but "it's in the brain" is not a very specific answer.

[@catherineditheridge9440]

***** I believe the main part mentioned regarding gender dysphoria is the bed nucleus of the stria terminalis

[@kolton2284]

Wow, the fact that this video is from 2015 and yet it still perfectly captures my exact thoughts and feelings on gender (which I’ve only very recently been able to figure out) is absolutely astounding. You are incredible, and I love your videos!

[@fefifofob]

I wonder if I'll look back at myself in a few years and discover that I'm just as dumb today as I now think I was a few years back.

[@PanAndScanBuddy]

Glass half full, that would mean that you improved your own knowledge at an equal rate over the entire span. So that would be cool.

[@RichardHoman9009]

fefifofob It's never a bad thing to recognize you're still evolving.

[@radioactivepower600nanaspersec]

@IMASUMAQ JIMENEZ 3 years now

[@doplop]

👁️ it's been 4 years are you alive

[@fefifofob]

@@doplop Why yes. I'm now using excessive vocal fry.

[@honestlyannoying5256]

ive watched this video a few times since i was a kid, but only now have i truly realized what its about. jeez, took me long enough. amazing, touching video. especially since it’s so old, its amazing to hear this from a youtuber ive enjoyed since i was very young! < 3

[@KellySmith555]

That's exactly how I've always felt. I thought gender was just...stupid. Why do people care? I don't identify with any gender, and yet I'm perfectly fine with people calling me a woman, because, that's what I am. It just doesn't define who I am. This was a really educational video for me. Genuinely. I have to realize some people feel things I will never understand or agree with, and I should just accept that they see the world differently. My personal perspective isn't the only valid one. Thank you. I feel like a bigger better human being after watching this. I have a lot to work on, but at least I realize now the problem. Thank you for that, from the heart.

[@generikadeyo]

This video cracked my egg and I've been on hormones for 8 months. So thanks vi. I guess.

[@coyotedomino]

congrats! xp